Notes: I am so sorry it's been so long! I basically lost my nerve and stopped posting because, honestly I don't know. That being said these chapters are long so I kind of skim edited.
You're drippin' like a saturated sunrise
You're spilling like an overflowin' sink
You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece
And now you're tearin' through the pages and the ink
-Halsey, Colors
The train whistle blew for the second time. The sound making her stomach clenching as Abigail looked up at her brother. Her time was running out, rushing away from her so quickly she could almost see them disappearing into the smoke from the train. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to leave Josh, even if that meant she wouldn't go back to Hogwarts.
"This is your year Abigaile." Josh said giving his younger sister yet another hug gently rubbing her back as he did. Abigail hugged him back a few tears brimming in her eyes. She didn't want to let go, knowing that she wouldn't see him for a long time. She had never been without him and she couldn't quite explain it but knowing he wouldn't be there if she needed him scared her a little. Like her railing was gone and she was looking over a thousand foot drop with nothing between her and the ground.
"I'm going to miss you" She mumbled into his robes.
"Naw you won't." He said pulling her away from him so he could look at her. "You're going to have too much fun. Just stand up for yourself K?" he said tapping her on the nose. She nodded turning to board the train and join her cousins. Josh was going to be studying with her father to become an Auror now that he had graduated. Without him who would she tell all her silly stories to? Who was going to tell her about all their crazy adventures? What would happen to all those untold stories?
"Hey Abigail,"
She turned back as she was about to step onto the train, "Be your amazing self!" he waved.
She nodded and boarded the train fighting back tears. She knew it was stupid, she was 15 years old! But Josh had always been there for her, always had her back. Abigail wasn't very good at expressing herself or standing up for what she thought was right. That's what Josh was for.
But he was right, she needed to learn how to be independent. Her own person.
She looked around the train as she walked on fidgeting with her dark curls trying to be brave. She saw Draco and the others sitting together in a booth near the front of the train. Draco looked up when he saw her and scooted over making room for her. She couldn't help but smile as she walked toward them wiping away a few tears.
This year was going to be a good one.
"Have you been crying? Really?" he asked letting out a biting laugh. Abigail bit her lip slightly hurt by the comment. He didn't have to be so cruel. Then again she let him act like that. Or she did. So without a word this new 5th year Abigail turned and walked right past him.
She could feel his eyes on her but she kept walking. She could almost feel the glare she knew he was sending her. She didn't care. If Draco wanted to be her friend, this year he was going to have to start acting like it.
This was her year.
ooOoOoOoo
Her flat was small but comfortable for one. It was hers and she loved it. As Harry looked around he couldn't help but feel like he had just walked into Abigail's mind. The open and airy apartment had books littered in every corner. There was a pin board in the kitchen with moving pictures, recipes and messy notes. A few dishes in the sink and a few bottles sitting on the counter. Gingerly he picked one of the bottles up looking at the shades of purple as it swirled around in the bottle.
"Oh those are some of my experiments," she giggled, "What can I say, I bring my work home with me."
"This place is so you."
"Yeah?"
One of the pictures on the board was of a tall dark skinned boy twirling around a young Abigail . "You look so young here"
"Yeah I'm probably, 11? That is my brother Josh..." She voice trailed off but she didn't need to say anything else. He knew, maybe better than most, how much the loss of her brother had affected her.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's…" she paused, the look on her face was blank as if she wasn't sure how to react. There was sadness there, but not the sadness he was use to. Not that soul breaking gut wrenching sadness that he had once experienced. "I miss him, but time makes it a little easier."
"Time makes most things easier," he paused taking her in again, her in this home she had made for herself that was so uniquely her, "sometimes."
ooOoOoOoo
"Morning"
Abigail looked up from her breakfast a slightly surprised look on her face as Draco sat down next to her. Curious and a bit wary was how she felt as the Slytherin boy helped himself to some breakfast. It had been three days since they had come back to Hogwarts and Abigail had forced herself not to go up to Draco. It had been hard to say the least but she wanted to see, see if he would come see her. If she really considered her a friend or if it was all in her mind.
The very fact that he was now sitting down next to her at the Ravenclaw meant she was right. He was her friend. She couldn't fight back the smile at this thought. A smile so wide that Draco was sure she was going to break something. Like her jaw or teeth.
"What are you so… smiley about."
"Nothing" She said taking a bite of her food gleefully, "How was your summer?"
They chatted for a bit telling stories about their summer. About how his parents had taken him to Paris. His mother had made him go to a ballet with her. Abigail had never seen a ballet before and peppered him with so many questions he told her he would take her to one just so she would shut up.
She told him about how Josh had given her his owl and how he was going to live with her father to become an Auror. Her parents weren't married and she would only saw her father for short periods of time because his job kept him so busy. However, this summer he had been visiting a lot which she had been so excited about.
Draco was about to tell Abigail about his favorite cafe in Paris when a huge explosion went off in the great hall. Purple hughes plumed up swirling around like a storm cloud.
"Oh Draco look!" Abigail brushed her hand against his as she pointed toward the excitement around the Gryffindor table. Her touch was gentle and not something he was unfamiliar but for some reason it sent shivers through his spine causing him to flinch away. At his sudden moment she turned back confused, "What?"
"Nothing just… those Weasley boys are so loud and disruptive. I don't see why everyone finds them so great."
She shrugged, "I like them, Fred is dating my cousin. He's really nice."
"You should keep better company."
She paused for a moment slowly chewing a strawberry. Tasha had said the same thing about the boy in front of her. Yet here they were, talking about Paris and summer fun. Trading stories learning new things.
"I like to keep all kinds of company it keeps my mind open to new ideas and opinions. You should try it sometime."
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked his demeanor, once so relaxed, tensing up. He didn't like this new Abigail, so full of opinions that she seemed to confident in. Honestly, where was his timid little girl who would just agree with everything he said?
"You have had the same two friends for the two years I've known you and probably longer. You should really try to make some new friends too."
"Is that what you did with me? You broadening your ideas?"
"When we became friends I met so many new people like, Vincent, Gregory and Pansy. Before you guys I only was close to my family and Lizzy."
"I don't think Pansy considers you a friend and honestly we're only friends because of your mishap with a potion."
"That potion was two years ago and here we are talking."
"Just because I'm here talking with you does not mean I am suddenly going to become best friends with blood traders like the Weasleys."
At the mention of blood traders Abigail's body went stiff. "That's rude and you know it. Just because you don't want to be friends with them doesn't mean you can call them names."
"I can say what I want. Blood traders, blood traders, bloo."
Abigail clamped her hands over his mouth, "I said stop"
They both sat there unsure how to proceed from this predicament. Abigail's hands clamped over Draco's mouth and him sitting there stunned at what had just happened.
This year's Abigail was going to be very different indeed.
ooOoOoOoo
After a tour of the house -which included him meeting her owl Morea- she served him the last of the food Rose had given her.
"We can eat like civilised people at the kitchen table or like monsters on the couch." Abigail said holding out his plate of food. A playful smile on her face. He could tell she was trying to act goofy to make him smile. She knew something was wrong but didn't know how to bring it up. With a grateful smile Harry took the plate.
"I'm civilised all the time."
She giggled at the comment, "Monsters it is."
As she took a seat on the couch a thin cat jumped on to her lap from seemingly nowhere. He sniffed her food then look at her expectantly. Abigail pulled a small bit of ham off her plate and gave it to him.
"Oh Harry, this is Master. I found him during my third year at Hogwarts…"
"You still have that thing?"
Master let out a low warning hiss as if in response to the sharp unflattering comment about him. He was no thing, he was the lord of this home. Taking a graceful step off Abigail's lap he curled up next to her eyeing Harry with disdain. Obviously not a fan.
"Still?" the dark haired girl asked, confused at the comment and Harry coughed his cheeks turning slightly red.
"Errr, I mean you had him during school and still have him now? How old is he?"
"Well he was only a few years old when I found him… I think he may be around 11 or 12 maybe?" She stroked the cat who let out a happy purr rubbing his head against her hand.
"Master…" it was more to himself than her. The look he had wasn't one of fondness but more of wistful memories of a time long gone. Strange how a silly name for a cat he had never met would invoke such a reaction.
"Yeah." She paused for a moment, her eyes dilating for a moment and Harry felt his stomach drop with fear. Not again.
Shaking her head she let out a soft grunt, "I can't remember why I named him that, but it really fits him. I don't own this house, he does. He just lets me live here." Letting out a giggle she kissed his head and he gave her a small nuzzle against her chin.
ooOoOoOoo
Abigail kept to her word and tried to stay true to herself. She made sure to say hello to the people around her instead of just scurrying from class to class. Instead of reading in her room she also made an effort to take her books into the Ravenclaw common room. While much louder, it was a good place to discuss whatever books were being read. With their intense love of learning Ravenclaws tended to also have a strong love for stories and theories. They were always ready for a lively conversation about such things which was an easy way to get closer to her fellow housemates.
This is where she became closer to Luna. The younger girl was always interested in Abigail's potion ideas giving her on input to the dark haired girl's hair brained ideas.
When Harry started Dumbledore's Army Luna invited her to join suggesting she pring the new healing potion she had come up with during the quarter. It had been inspired by Umbrage's new form of detention that would leave deep cuts in student's arms. The saulve would help combat the pain and reduce the scarring.
While she was still shy and awkwardly having a hard time expressing herself, for the first time Abigail felt like she could make friends on her own efforts. That she was truly part of something she had worked toward herself.
With this new turn of events, she didn't spend as much time with Draco and the others as she did the past two years. When she did she was always busy working on a new potion or way to help them. While she didn't outright tell Draco what was going on he could guess that something was up. That she was keeping things from him.
Draco didn't like things being kept from him.
"I just don't see why you are always working so hard, it's not like it's for class or anything."
"We need to be prepared."
"Prepared for what?" he scoffed.
"The war, something bad is coming Draco, don't you see it?" Her eyes were narrow and her mouth in a firm line.
"PLEASE don't tell me you are falling into Potter's lies. I thought even YOU would be smarter than that."
"But Cedric Diggory… He DIED Draco!" Abigail said waving her hand as if it would knock the statement into his head. He had never seen her this worked up. Her waving her hands and turning slightly red while she stuttered her words.
"It was an accident, all the papers say so." he shaking his head as if it would dispel her fears, she needed to calm down. It wasn't something to get so worked up about.
"Draco, HE DIED" she said again waving her hand.
"Stop raising your hand. We're not in class" She took a step back, she hadn't realized she was doing it. Now she was so annoyed with the fact that he wouldn't take what she was saying seriously she continued to wave her hand. More exaggerated this time.
"I can do what I…"
He cut her off by grabbing her hand and pulling it down. She looked back at him shocked as he held onto her hand with a firm grip. Her eyes widened and her slightly flushed look caused him to smirk.
"Did I just learn how to shut you up?" he asked toying curiously with her hand like a cat that had just caught a mouse.
"Let go of my hand."
"Why."
"Because… it makes me nervous." She tried to pull it out of his grasp, feebly he might add. He liked this Abigail, the awkward girl who couldn't put her thoughts into words. While it made him feel a little powerful it was more than that. This was the girl he had known the first year. The one who was so simple. This year's Abigail wasn't as simple, she challenged him and made him think about things he didn't want to think about.
Like the whispering his parents did behind closed doors. How his mother's eyes would be red from crying. How his father would clench his fists and whisper curses under his breath.
Draco knew something was coming, he just didn't want to admit it. He just wanted to sit with the Abigail and do nothing like they use to. Pretend like nothing had changed, even if everything had.
"Why does it make you nervous, can't handle holding my hand?"
"I'm not holding your hand, your holding mine…" She was proud of that one. Finally a good comeback. The distraction of her coming up with a good comeback also helped relieve some of the tension she was feeling.
Draco watched her proud smile as she delivered her comeback, watched the power he had melt away. Somehow this little smug remark seemed to flip the tables and make him feel uncomfortable. Dropping her hand he looked away.
"Whatever…" He mumbled
ooOoOoOoo
They had run out of small talk and were now sitting in comfortable silence. It was something Abigail really liked about Harry. She never felt like she needed to keep talking, he just seemed to be comfortable being with her. She didn't have to perform and act like someone she wasn't. Sometimes silence was enough.
She had never met someone like him and whatever act of fate had brought them together she was so grateful for it.
Glancing over at him she noticed he wasn't as at ease as she was. While he was much calmer than when they had met outside his shop it was evident something was bothering him
Feeling her eyes on him he turned studying her. Trying to read what she was thinking.
"You… you don't have to say but," She took a deep breath as if to give herself courage. She wasn't good at prying into people's lives. "Is something wrong?" Her stomach clenching as if the words imploded inside her causing her insides to turn to stone.
His gray eyes turned away studying the room, the walls, the painting, the books, anything but her.
She sat and watched him, he didn't need to tell her. But she wanted to help him. She wanted him to feel that same calm comfort that she felt when she was around him. She wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in the whole wasn't sure what caused this burning desire but it was there and could not be squelched.
She was about to change the subject when he spoke.
"It's just my family…" He took a deep breath, "They were on the wrong side of the war and adjusting to everything after... It's just been really hard."
He turned to look at her. She was just sitting there eyes riveted on him, open and ready for whatever he needed to say. To get off his chest. God he had missed her so much. Even now, with her sitting right in front of him she felt oh so far away. The chasm that had been created by the worst day in his life. Would he ever be able to cross it?
Yet in this moment he felt like the invisible distance between them was shrinking. Maybe they could go back to those old days. Maybe if he hoped enough, opened up just a little at a time.
Maybe he could go back to those moments where she had been the closest thing he had ever had.
"I felt like the whole time I was growing up I had an idea in my head what was good and bad. What was right and wrong." He looked away for a moment feeling all those feelings he had been holding on to forever building up inside him. A pressure that was about to this apartment always been this small?
"I thought I knew everything, it turns out I knew nothing at all."
She leaned forward taking his hand in hers. "When we are kids we always think we have everything figured out…" She whispered. Harry shook his head.
"It's more than that, it's the choices I made, the people I wanted to live up to…" he couldn't stop now it was like a geyser blasting forth inside him. He wanted to tell her everything. Look deep into those doe brown eyes and have her tell him everything would be better.
Everything could be forgiven.
He spent an hour telling her about his family. The choices they made and way he felt like everything had been decided for him. Yet he ultimately went willingly down the path that had been picked. He told her about making his father proud and wanting to be the best. He explained that feeling he had, like everything was owed to him. He was the prince of Slytherin, royalty. Yet everything was a lie and he wasn't anything more than a boy who's every choice was wrong.
"The only thing I didn't choose... It was the only pure thing in my life" he looked at her, his blue gray eyes crystal with his tears. He looked away fighting back the rush of emotions that had been building up in him since… since forever.
"It's gone."
ooOoOoOoo
She is walking down the hall alone deep in her own thoughts.
"Better watch out or the Dark Lord may try to nab you."
Abigail looked up to see a smug looking Draco walking down the hall. A bandage around his hand. She rolled her eyes pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "That's not funny."
"I think it is"
"You shouldn't take things like this so flippantly, he could really hurt a lot of people. In fact, he has."
"Please don't comment like you understand."
"Please don't talk to me like I'm a child"
"Well you are acting like one… and flippantly? Really?"
"It's the way you all act, like hiding the problem will go away."
"This coming from the girl who pretended to be spelled just to be around me"
"I wanted to be your friend! A mistake I regret when you act like this."
That one stung. He hated to admit it but in a way she was right. He didn't need to act the way he did around her. Sometimes he just got so angry when he was around her. The way she looked and the way she could put him in his place with one word. It drove him completely mental.
Abigail sighed looking away, "I don't want to fight" she whispered. "Sometimes I just wish we could go back to those days…. When life was so simple."
"Why did you go to the Yule Ball with Crabbe?"
"Huh?"
"You heard me."
"Because he asked me, why did you want to?" It was a joke, but something about the way he looked made her heart flutter. Which reflected in the small orb that hung around her neck. His eye caught it for a moment and a smirk grew on his face.
"Did you want me to?"
"No."
The response was too quick. It sounded defencive. It didn't work the way she wanted it too. Oh how she wished she could sound confident and smart like her cousin Bonnie or funny and easy going like Lizzy.
"You sure" He whispered taking a step closer to her.
"I… yes."
"Why is your crystal freaking out?" Oh he knew and he was playing with her now, messing with her head. This wasn't fair, Abigail wasn't a quick witted kind of person, she was an awkward kind of person. And this conversation was getting very ackward.
She took a step back only to have him take two closer. "Are you going to answer me?" He prodded softer this time. She clamped her hand over the orb trying, praying, it wouldn't give away the feelings building up in her.
He had her pinned against the wall, she wasn't even sure how, but here she was, looking up at him brown eyes wide searching his blue ones. She could feel the cold stone pressing into her back through her robes.
He leaned forward, one hand against the wall as he towering above her, a smirk on his had grown up over those two years while she had slowed down.
"Do I intimidate you?"
"No" she whispered truthfully, " and I know you would never hurt me"
He kissed her then, soft and slow as if testing the waters. Asking for permission. She kissed him back, unsure. Unsure if this was right.
When he pulled away he looked into her brown eyes as she looked back at him. The necklace on her neck fluttering with the beat of his heart.
"I would never hurt you." He whispered truthfully. He would rather die than hurt her. She was his and his alone.
ooOoOoOoo
He had spilled everything out for her to see. All of this pains and fears. Who he truly was. The person he had been trying to hide from. Trying to break free from.
He knew she wouldn't accept him for who he was. She barely knew him anymore. The first time had been a fluke. If it hadn't been for that potion she never would have been a part of his life. She had been thrust upon him. You can't tempt fate twice and now, without it how could it ever be the same?
He was a stranger telling her the crimes of his past.
Abigail sat there looking at him. Brown eyes soft as she had listened. She barely moved as he spoke. Taking it all in; processing it. He had done his best to omit a few points but only the things that would trigger something. Things involving her. Not that he needed to talk about that part of his life.
That was the only good thing.
"It was as if everything in my life was decided for me and I went along so willingly. I was such a blind fool."
He looked at her, his blue eyes crystal with his tears. He didn't know how she would respond. He had played this conversation over and over in his head a million times. Every possible response, every action she could or would do. Yet, as he sat there laying everything out before her he felt so unsure as if acting on raw instinct. She hadn't quite been in her right mind the first time and even then he hadn't told her those dark secrets. Dumbledore, the war, Potter.
All those fears were nothing compared to the one he had faced that final day. The day he had lost the only thing he had ever truly cared for.
"The only thing I didn't chose... It was the only pure thing in my life… and I lost it. Forever."
Slowly, as if she was approaching a wounded animal. Abigail leaned forward. She brushed back strands of his blonde hair kissing his forehead. Pulling away she studied his eyes. Those eyes he had loved so much. Soft, kind eyes of the girl who had seen him for everything he had been and and had challenged him to be that person. No matter what happened now he swore to himself he would be that man. The man she had seen in him.
"You chose me," she whispered. "You chose to come to my shop"
He pulled away from her, eyes wide as if she had punched him in the gut. His whole body rigid as if fighting with itself.
Then he pulled her to him kissing her. Long and hard. Courage to keep moving, to believe that one thing in his life had been good. Something pure and innocent. All their memories, the laughter, the inside jokes and knowing looks. Maybe it could be good again. If he held on tight enough, believe hard enough.
She let him kiss her, she kissed him back. Unsure of the intensity of it. It brought back so much for her, a rush of feelings, emotions she didn't know she had. It was so familiar her head was pounding. Pounding so hard she could barely breath. But she couldn't push away, she couldn't break it now. It was right there, the second note to the song that was forever playing in her head. The words to the story that was just out of her grasp. She wanted it, to remember to catch it. To dive deep into those feelings and understand why she felt them so strongly.
She couldn't breath.
She was drowning.
Images and lights, sounds. The world was swallowing her up and screaming. Who was screaming? Was that her?
She pulled away panting, but he was so caught up in his own world he didn't notice. She thanked God for it because she couldn't let him see how painful that was.
Why was it so painful?
Why would such a simple kiss bring on these feelings. This pain?
ooOoOoOoo
The next day was like any other, except it wasn't.
Draco had kissed her and she wasn't sure how to deal with it. Did this mean they were more than friends now? In her Ravenclaw world that would be a yes but she knew that her Slytherin cousin Emma would disagree. Emma had snogged half the school according to herself and it never meant anything.
So did this?
Her answer came after her first class as she walked down the hall. A strong hand pulled her into a small empty room. Letting out a little streak Abigail's hand went instantly for her want but the silence was quicker grabbing both her hands.
"Abigail it's me"
"Draco you scared me"
He smirked down at her, "You were so deep into your own thoughts you didn't even notice me. Thinking about that amazing kiss?"
She wanted to say no, but she couldn't lie, "I was wondering what it meant."
"It means I want to be the only one who kisses you." he stated.
"Well you are so..." she shrugged, she wasn't sure what else to say. "Ok"
He's smug smile slowly faded away, "I meant what I said, I never want anything to hurt you."
She smiled up at him, "Whatever happens, we'll do it together."
ooOoOoOoo
"What are you doing?"
Draco turned, Lizzy was leaning against the wall to the potion store. Her red hair shone in the moonlight like copper as it fell around her shoulders. She was still dressed in her ministry of magic robes. "Tasha mentioned she had talked to you about going to see her. I didn't think anything of it until Abigail mentioned you. Harry? Really?"
"It's not what you think. I would never hurt her."
Lizzy frowned studying him. "But that's the problem isn't it? I think you both really care about each other but she doesn't understand why she does."
She looked away for a moment as if caught up in a memory. Memories of when they had all been so young in school. When getting hurt meant a school aged heartbreak. "Are you going to just keep lying to her until end of time? Are you going to be Harry forever?"
He knew she was right and he didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't want to think about it. Just being in the moment with Abigail was better than any future with her. He just wanted the now, worry about tomorrow tomorrow. He knew he couldn't live like that forever…. but maybe just for a few more days?
"It doesn't matter we are only friends."
"She is attached mate. Hell, she may even be in love knowing the way she is. You of all people should know how easily she cares about people!"
She was right. Abigail gave her heart away as if it was on fire. She cared so deeply for the people around her. That was why they had become so close the first time and how quickly they had fallen back into old patterns. No matter what he did or said she was always loyal to him.
"She told me about her episode a few weeks ago, funny how it happened when you got mad."
That one hurt, cut right to his core. Because, she was right. Most of their relationship had been him making fun of her, belittling her. He always took her for granted, until it was too late.
"What do you want from me?" He snapped, "Do you want me to stop seeing her? Is that it?"
Lizzy frowned. They had never gotten along, even during school. She had never trusted him and he had found her loud and annoying. There was really only one thing that they had in common and that was the girl in question.
"I want what's best for her" He sighed truthfully, "I… I don't have to prove it to you but… I have changed."
She studied him, really took in the man in front of her. He had saved Abigail's life after all. He had stayed away for almost three years in fact. It was really because of Anastasha that he had even re-entered the girl's life again. She was going to have to have a talk with her blonde meddling friend.
"Ok, well I wouldn't be her best friend if I didn't worry."
He nodded, "If it get's out of hand you will never hear from me again."
She nodded as well than stood up straight and looked around before disappearing into the dark city.
She never looked back.
She didn't need to, she knew that Draco Malfoy would keep his word. Little did she know he had already let it go a little further than he had meant to. Even now, he stood there unsure of what to do. His very being didn't want to leave but he knew, deep down in his heart. That he would need to soon.
ooOoOoOoo
The weeks after that kiss were some of his favorite. Holding hands under desks, stolen kisses in empty rooms. Small smiles looks from across the room. He loved the way he could get that smile out of her. Just a glance from him would make her giggle. He adored it.
They didn't act like they were dating, like a secret that only they shared. She was his and only his and he loved that.
"Good morning!"
She smiled up at him as he walked into the store. However, when their eyes met her cheeks flushed slightly and she quickly looked back at the witch she had been helping. Once the Witch had everything she needed Abigail walked up to Harry.
"How are you today?" She asked shuffling her feet slightly. She was trying not to awkward since the few nights before when… things had gotten intense. This was one of the problems with being so socially awkward. She didn't have much romantic experience.
"I'm almost done here, did you want to go get lunch?" She asked looking up at him biting her lip. Her stomach twisted yet she felt an excitement she couldn't' quite place. It was like Christmas and the first day to Hogwarts rolled into one with something else… something she couldn't place. Like a smell from your childhood that was once long forgotten.
"Sure" He said a soft smile spreading across his lips. He loved to see her like this. So happy. The way she looked at him. That excitement to see him. He wasn't sure how long he had been craving it for, but it felt like forever. He could bask in her joy forever.
It was their private place. The place where they would sit and just talk. Sometimes Abigail would bring a book and read it to him. They could never focus on it for long. Darco would complain about the choices a character would make and Abigail would point out what she thought.
It was a time when they could truly just sit and enjoy life. No social pressures or worries about what the outside world would think. While Draco had always prided himself on always being "himself" he noticed how much more, relaxed, he felt at these moments. Abigail, while she would call him out when he was being "rude" or "mean", never judged him for his opinions. She would always listen to his views and would give level headed responses to them. The treated him ideas with respect, something he wasn't use to.
He would always leave feeling relaxed as if a weight he didn't know he had was gone.
They were sitting by a tree just talking, he was polishing his broom while she read a book. Only half focused on it while chatting with him about some silly gossip. She giggled and he looked over at her. The way the sunlight hit her hair and her small smile as she played with her crystal, she was beautiful.
"Hey"
She turned to look at him her smile flattering for a moment at the intensity of his gase.
"Yeah?"
He moved closer to her, "I'm going to kiss you" he whispered closing in. He smirked as he noticed the light in her crystal flutter. He loved making it do that, it was like his little way of knowing he was succeeding in making her feel the way he did.
"Ok" she whispered back
He loved to kiss her, she was always so gentle and would sometimes smile as she did. Her happiness, it was as if he could taste it. It flowed through him like sunshine and filled him up. He wanted to bask in it's warmth forever.
Abigail was laughing as Harry explained one of his parents parties. All the stuck up witches and wizards. He was taking faces as he explained in great detail what they were like. The conversations he would have to deal with during these parties were so ridiculous Abigail tried to listen with a straight face but she couldn't. Harry was in good sprites today and she couldn't help but bask in his joy.
"Abigail!"
Rose's voice made the young woman and her friend turn around to see Abigail's cousin dragging her husband toward them.
However, as they got closer Fred Weasley's wide smile faded into a frown. His amber eyes narrowing at the sight of Harry. Next to her Abigail felt Harry shift uncomfortably.
"What are you guys doing?" Abigail asked. A very preganant Rose held up a small bag with a huge smile.
"Had to get out for some fresh air and Fred needed a few things for a new concoction for the joke shop."
"Ohhh how did the last one turn out? Did the water lily pollen help?"
Fred nodded his eyes never leaving Harry's, "And what have you been up to Draco?" he asked. Rose coughed glancing over at Harry who was now red faced and looking very awkward.
"This is Harry, I met him at the shop a few months ago… remember?"
Fred frowned crossing his arms, "Hummm… Not really" he said cocking his head to one side. Something about the way he looked, Abigail remembered that look from school when he would play a particularly mean prank on someone he disliked. "You look like someone I use to know, but I must be mistaken… my Weasley background and all."
Her head was slightly throbbing now. Grunting she gently rubbed her throbbing temple. Next to her Harry touched her arm, "Are you ok?" she heard him whisper as the world turned an odd shade lighter, everything seemed to become brighter.
"Hey Abigail?" Rose's voice broke through her pounding. She opened her eyes to see her cousin bending over slightly her green eyes meeting Abigail's brown ones. Concern written all over them. From behind her Fred stood slightly open mouthed trying to get a look at the the brunette from behind his wife.
She glanced over at Harry who had the same concerned look on his face. Mixed with something else. Pain, true and utter pain. AS if Abigail had just told him he was worthless.
"Do you need to sit down?" Rose asked, her eyes had never left Abigail's face.
"Uhh, no I'm fine. I just got a little bit of a headache. I'm sorry..."
"Ok, we should probably go" Rose stood glancing over at her husband who had a truly apologetic look on his face.
Once they left Harry took Abigail's hand, "Are you sure you are ok?"
She nodded, yet something was bothering her. That name, Rose had said it before too. Something about it was familiar. Her thoughts flickered to her chests of old notes from school. Memoires she had always been so scared to look through.
Memoires she knew she had to go back into now.
ooOoOoOoo
"You need to stop talking to Crabb,"
Abigail looked up from the book she was reading (and taking notes on). Darco had been silent and moody all day and when she had asked him what was wrong he had just brushed her off. Knowing that her boyfriend wasn't the type you could push feelings out of she left him stew until he was ready. Apparently he was ready now.
"Why? I thought you guys were friends."
"We're friends but you can't be anymore."
Abigail frowned, while she was a very easy going person she also didn't have a lot of friends. And she felt like just because her and Draco were in a relationship didn't mean he had power over who else she spent her time with. "What! Just because I kissed you doesn't mean you tell me..."
"God woman! How stupid are you! He fancies you ok! He has for a long time. Please tell me you weren't that oblivious"
She was taken aback for a moment biting her lip. Taking a deep breath she gathered her thoughts, "first you can't call me stupid, that is mean and rude. And I am, as a matter a fact every smart. Second, I thought maybe. but he never really did anything about it."
"Please, like you would have said yes."
Would she have? "I... I don't know, I said yes to the ball"
It was true.
"Well you're my girl so you can't be around him."
He slung his arm around her pulling her close to him. She was his. Gently she played with his fingers looking up at him
"Draco… you don't own me. But I will distance myself from him because I don't want him to get the wrong idea. BUT I am doing this because I want to not because you told me to."
The white haired boy smiled, it didn't matter, he had gotten his way so whatever.
"Draco"
"What?" Harry said looking up confused. He had brought in some old artifacts from his family's estate and Abigail was looking them over with him. While she wasn't too strong in the cursed object department she did have a few books on them so they were looking it over together. It had been a silent morning between the two of them both deep in their own thoughts. That was until the dark skinned girl had broken the silence.
She said the word as if she was playing in across her lips. As if it was a hard candy, sour in the taste. Yet so sweet.
Her face was slightly flushed as she turned to him, she wasn't sure if it was from the embarrassment of speaking the name aloud -which had been mulling around in her head all day- or his sharp response to it. Something about it, seemed like… like the wrong reaction.
She hadn't meant to say the name aloud it had just slipped out but now that it was out in the open she decided to just go with it. "Did you know a Draco?" She asked.
He was pale, paler than she had ever seen him before. His gray eyes wide as he studied her. She wasn't sure if it was fear or something else.
"W… why?"
She pulled out her notebook, she had been going through some old books and had found one from her early years. Opening it to a marked paged she showed him where the name was scrolled down. The page talked about a first kiss and how a Draco had helped her complete the spell. More information was in there like what she used and the background of the two of them. Most of the information was service things like how neither had kissed someone before which she thought might add to the effects of the potion.
He looked over the notes, a small glint of happiness flitted across his eyes for a moment but was gone so fast Abigail wondered if she imagined it. Finally he handed the book back to her.
"N… no, but why don't you know him? Isn't this your handwriting?" He asked his face was so stone cold she could barely read it.
"I…" She looked away embarrassed. "I lost some of my memories after the attack, it's like there are… holes in my memory. Things I should remember but don't. According to my cousin I almost died trying to fight off a Death Eater from finding some first years that night and as a result I have brain damage. I just wish I knew why. Why this happened and why it only happens with such random things." She bit her lip turning to him, "There has to be a reason, some correlation to the random events."
This was the first time she had talked about her past. How she had lost her memories. She didn't really know why she had never told anyone how frustrated she would get. Maybe it was because of the slight throbbing when she tried to remember that night, but mostly she thought she had just never felt comfortable enough to bring it up. How does one even bring it up? By the way my head has holes in it and I suffer from headaches if I try to remember stuff. It's really annoying.
Yet, with Harry she always felt so comfortable. So relaxed, it was as if she could tell him anything. It was so easy.
"What does this Draco, I mean, why are you thinking about this now?" He stammered learning forward. It was the first time in a long time that Abigail noticed him ever look so eager, excited maybe. His expression confused her but she continued.
"I… I'm not sure" She mumbled, "It's been nagging at me. Since Fred mentioned it. Then when you told me you were bringing some artifacts I went through my stuff I found this charm." She pulled out a small glowing orb. It was beating fast, matching Harry's heartbeat."I don't remember making it so I searched through my aunts books but she only had theories so then I checked mine and found this. It's been bugging me for… for days now."
She fingered the book looking up at him, "Are you sure you don't know who this person is? It says he was in your house" Harry shook his head.
"I'm sorry, maybe you got the houses mixed up or something. If it's something you don't remember it may not have been worth remembering." He seemed to choke out the last words as if they pained him.
"Yeah I guess" She mumbled placing the orb and book back into her apron pocket. Harry's eyes lingered on the hiding place. Lost in his own world.
"Don't bother with him, he's not worth it"
Abigail couldn't help but look away, her cheeks flushed and frustration pouring from her very being. Ever since she had told him that she and Draco were dating Vincent had been nothing but unkind to her. She normally brushed it off but the comment about her father had gone too far.
"You're just the bastard of a blood traitor, why would anyone listen to you."
The words had cut her right in her tracks. Gregory had laughed lightly. Not many people knew about her parents, she mother had gotten pregnant with her during the war and had never married her father. Both purebloods, her mother had called it her best mistake ever. Abigail had never thought much of it. She knew both her parents loved her even if they weren't together but something about the way Vincent had said it so filled with venom she could feel it's poison coursing through her veins
She had stormed off and hid the rest of the day until Draco had found her hiding in there favorite spot. Sitting down next to her he was now -very clumsily - trying to make her feel better.
At first she had just been mad at Vincet and was grateful that Draco had taken the time to make her open up about how she was feeling. However, the venom of the other boy's words were still casting scars across her mood and it was ruining a perfectly good day. She couldn't express the hurt she was feeling and instead sat in silence.
Draco, being a young boy who didn't quite understand the complex of a family like her's kept trying to make light of it. After all no one really knew what side her father had been on during the first war. So he honestly could have been a blood trader. So what?
However, this point, when he made it. Did not go over well with Abigail. Who loved her father more than anyone. He was a god in her world. The man in which all men - including Draco- had to stand against.
The vial, the world they had created was ripping in half. All those disagreements they had before their deepened relationship had started were bubbling up. The walls crumbling around them.
"My father is the greatest man that lived, he gives his life every day so we can live in peace and comfort. All of us!"
"Some of us shouldn't live in comfort and if your father is wasting his time helping them he's a fool"
"My father believes that everyone should live and he gave everything for that belief! What has your father done?"
He couldn't see it with his blind rage but his words crashed into the structure like a wrecking ball. Their walls that they had built. The walls they had built where they hid from the world's problems. Just being themselves not concerned with the issues that those before them had made.
"My father is keeping the bloodlines pure! Only true blooded people should live."
Abigail's eyes grew wide taking a step back. It was as if he had punched her in the gut.
"Who are you?" She barely whispered, "How could you wish death on anyone?"
"I…" He couldn't take it back now. He reached out trying to take her hand. She pulled it away as if he was made of poison. A monster. He was just like Vincent and all her other classmates who made snide remarks about bloodlines. He was just as bad as all of them,
"No" she said, barely a whisper on her breath. As if nothing else could come out of her. As if everything had been taken. Turning she running out.
And that was the last time he saw before he lost her for the first time.
Abigail was missing for 3 days. No one could find her. At first Draco thought she was just being dramatic.
On day 1 he thought she was just in her room
On day 2 no one could find her
On day 3 reports of Josh missing came
On day 4 they found her.
But by day 4 it was too late.
By day 4 he lost had her.
They were on day three of the study of cursed objects. Draco had basically been sleeping on the couch or on the floor or wherever they both ended up. Waking up to eat and freshen up. It was a a puzzle they were having so much fun trying to decipher that they couldn't be apart.
Or that's what he kept telling himself.
They were both on the floor surrounded by papers, bowls of half finished potions and ingredients. Abigail had just thought she had figured out the spell to reverse the curse on one of the small coins when it exploded spraying black ink like substance all over Harry.
Harry reeled back in shock while Abigail tried her best not to laugh at him. They both sat there for a moment just looking at each other. Him in shock and her desperately trying not to laugh at the look on his face.
Sighing he grabbed a towel that Abigail had brought incase of instances like this -this hadden't been their first spill of day- wiping his face.
"Here," Abigail said leaning forward gently taking the towel from him, "Let me." He watched her with steady eyes as she slowly wiped away the black liquid. Their eye met, his look was so intense she paused forgetting what she was doing. For the first time in a long time Abigail felt as if her mind was silent. Pure blissful silence.
"Can I kiss you?" she whispered leaning forward. He barely nodded as he bridged the gap between them. Pulling her closer to him with his left arm his right steadying her head. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he pulled her into his lap.
Both of them wrapped up in each other blocking out the world around them Feeling nothing and everything all at the same time.
Harry held her so tightly as he eagerly kissed her. Getting lost in her touch letting himself feel everything, and anything. Letting himself go, far away from everything and yet right there in that moment. That moment of pure bliss. Just the two of them.
It hit her like a bolt. A ringing in her head, yet it wasn't a ringing it was screaming. A man's voice screaming her name yelling it over and over. It was tearing her apart pulling at her very skull.
"No" she mumbled trying to shake it away. Just let her enjoy this, let her live in this moment. Leave her alone!
Harry pulled away suddenly as he tasted blood in his mouth. His eyes growing wide as he looked at her. Her nose was bleeding and her eyes glazed over. She clutched her head as he held her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she sobbed not even sure who she was talking to as she tried to pull herself together. The name Draco began throbbing through her like the pounding of her head. Harry had now carried her to the couch gently trying to help her.
"Harry… Harry i'm sorry… I want to… I…" she was stammering trying to focus on the world in front of her. The man she cared so much for.
But she didn't' need to say it, he knew. Lizzy's words ring in his head as he helped her get comfortable. Pulling away which helped with the pain.
"I… I'm not good at this stuff," Abigail mumbled her cheeks so red. She looked at him with such a broken heart that he knew he had already gone to deep. Gone farther than he should have.
"It's not you it's me. I shouldn't have kissed you now... before."
"Ok" She said, she didn't pry, she didn't ask she let it go. It was a clear rejection and that was ok. "I'm going to make some tea"
He watched her as she got up walking slowly. So much heartbreak in her eyes he almost cried. He felt her slipping away, like sand, like water, like she had so many years ago. But what could he do? How could he stop the inevitable from happening?
The crowd that gathered in slowly outside of the castel grew with the unearthly screams. Hagrid walked into view holding a limp body. A young man, more a boy than an adult.
Snape was close behind half holding half dragging the screaming person. With each unearthly cry it sent a wave of chills down everyone's spines.
Abigail's screams
"No, no no! Not Josh, not him! Please please please"
Draco was one of the many who had gathered outside. He didn't even recognize the boy as Hagrid walked through the crowd. He was so mangled and broken.
Rose and Liam had run out toward Snape reaching their cousin who was now sobbing on the ground. Rose knelt in front of her gently taking the girl in her arms whispering to her while Liam tried to help her stand.
Draco was finally able to see her three hours later, after much arguing with both Snape and Madam Pomfrey. They had been concerned for her well being since Madam Pomfrey said she wasn't responding to anyone. However, Draco could be very persuasive and was finally able approach her bed which had a white curtain circling the bed she was in.
She was sitting in the bed, her body bandaged, looking blankly at the white sheet across from her bed.
"Abigail?"
She slowly turned, her eyes shallow, dull, dead. She didn't speak just looked at him, through him.
He wasn't sure what to say, never having to deal with this sort of thing. This level of pain.
"What… what happened?"
She just looked at him, "He's dead" she whispered her voice hoarse, "I saw them kill him."
She didn't say anything after that. She barely spoke the rest of the semester. She didn't avoid him but she didn't acknowledge him either.
She didn't acknowledge anything.
All those stupid Gryffindor Potter worshipers said it was Deatheaters. But why would a Deatheaters kill a pure blood? He should know, he was going to be one.
After all that was the point right? Fight for the Dark Lord, fulfill the true pure line. Keep people like Abigail safe.
Power, that's what he needed