You'd think falling asleep in bed with him would have made this whole thing a lot easier. Right? Like that should have been it. It should have been sharing a bed, cuddling up and saying "hey, I like you." It was a fool-proof plan but for some reason I was incapable of actually going through with it right then and there.

What was wrong with me? I really would have liked to know, but as it turned out, I didn't need to figure it out.

Everyone else was going to do it for me bit by bit.

I wasn't even sure what time it was the first time I woke up, but I could still feel the extra weight in bed next to me and I couldn't see the sun. I assumed that meant it was too early to even consider being active for the world and rolled over instead, burrowing my face into one of Axel's pillows. It's hard to say if I imagined it or not, but it felt like his hand was in my hair again lulling me back to sleep.

The second time I woke up it was to the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. Axel's room was kitty-corner to where the kitchen itself was and his bedroom door was left open a tiny crack. Light tried to stream into the room but fell short of the doorway, and it was then I realized the room was so dark because it now came with blackout curtains.

My head was pounding but I managed to sit up, squinting through the dark before getting out of bed slowly. Keeping a hand on the wall, I shuffled my way forward toward the exit of the room and tried not to hiss too loudly as I entered the bright light of the hallway.

"You're impossible." Kairi's laughter echoed off of the kitchen walls and a small beeping was heard. "How can you work at the café and still not know how to use Demyx's coffeemaker?"

"I've never thought about it before." Axel sounded a little sheepish and even if I couldn't see them from my place in the hallway it wasn't hard to picture them. Both of them were probably still in their sleep clothes (lavender pants and a tank top for Kairi, sweats and a t-shirt for Axel if I remembered enough) and judging by the banging around Axel was beating the crap out of Dem's coffee machine.

"You're going to break it!" She was still laughing and I heard cupboards opening and shutting above them. "Here, it's not working because you didn't put enough water in it. You have to hit the minimum fill line."

There was silence for a few moments as the sink ran and soon enough the coffeemaker burbled to life.

"See? Easy." She sounded satisfied. "...it's really sweet of you to do this though. I know he gives off that impression, but he doesn't like just plain-"

"I figured." Axel cut her off smoothly and the fridge opened somewhere. "He's not exactly subtle about the fact he has a sweet tooth. Think he'll like cinnamon cream?"

"I think so. And since you filled up the reservoir with more than enough water there should be enough for all of us."

I had no idea what was going on, but my brain felt too fuzzy to really try to process anything so I did what came naturally at this phase in my life. I turned around and headed back to Axel's room.

A glance to the living room told me that Selphie was already gone and the nest of blankets on the floor where Sora and Riku probably crashed was empty. The bathroom light was on though and voices echoed off of the tile in soft whispers. Part of me rationalized that it meant one of them was probably sick, and if I had to guess by the cadence of words it was Sora, not Riku. I didn't want to interrupt whatever was going on or hover. There wasn't a lot I could do anyway but wait. The door to Demyx's room was open halfway and I spotted Kairi's overnight bag on the floor by his dresser.

I was too hungover to even raise my eyebrows and decided to let it go.

Practically crawling back to Axel's room I shut the door to the same amount it had been open before, guiding myself on the wall again back to the bed. There was a little more clarity now that I was sort of awake and despite the heavy curtains it was easier to see what Axel had done to the room. The comforter of the bed was a dark red, black sheets stretched across the mattress even though they were a tangled mess from the night before. His desk was crammed with books just to the right of it and flush against the wall to double as a nightstand. There was a second nightstand to the left and it looked like there was a glass of water and some aspirin left there. Across from the bed there was an old beat-up TV and the closet door was partially open and still pretty sparse. There were a few glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling and a few posters I couldn't quite make out, and as I looked at all of this from my place on the bed I wondered if either of us thought this would be a possibility.

I had barely accepted the fact I wanted to kiss him. Admitting that I would have been okay going to bed with him was maybe a little too much for my blood.

I could hear a few more bumps and giggles from the kitchen even as my eyes drooped shut again, but it was only a matter of moments before the door swished open and dragged across the carpet. Axel's same light footsteps padded into the room. I couldn't figure out why, exactly, his steps were a practiced ease of sneaking around or why he was going so slow until he reached the bed and sat down. Two cups of coffee were in his hands and he set both on the nightstand before turning to me.

I must have looked like I was still asleep given the way his fingers carded through my hair carefully, flexing into a slow scalp massage. It didn't last too long, but the gesture was nice.

"I know you're awake."

Shit.

There was a pause and I'm pretty sure my sudden fake snore did nothing to convince him seeing how he snorted in response.

"C'mon. Open your eyes."

"Why?" It was mumbled and it made my mouth hurt to speak, finally realizing for the first time how dry it was.

"Because." It wasn't an answer, but he certainly tried. "How're you feeling?"

"Tired." I didn't try to sit up but I rolled onto my side to face him. His feet were on the ground next to the bed and a long arm stretched forward to pull one of the mugs closer. The cinnamon-y scent hit me like a sack of bricks, along with the realization that what he'd been doing was preparing a cup of coffee for me. It was...sort of a weirdly sweet gesture and I thought maybe I was imagining it or I was still drunk, but he sat next to me and nudged the cup into my hands.

"This should help a little. And then water." He swung his legs up onto the bed then, leaning back against the headboard and stretching out to sit up while I attempted to prop myself up with an elbow. The coffee was still hot but it was a little sweet and a little sugary. It was just the way I liked it, really, and I figured it was easier to ignore the implications than anything else.

"...thanks." It burned my mouth a bit but these days I'm used to that. He didn't say anything afterwards, simply sipping from his own cup with one hand and navigating something on his phone with another. The room remained dark and he didn't seem in a rush to press me to say anything which was both appreciated and unusual.

Mostly unusual. I had never known Axel to know how to shut up.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Mm." He swallowed another drink before using the cup to gesture at his bedroom door. "Kairi's trying to get Demyx to wake up. Selphie left real early this morning, bright and chipper as ever which was kind of disgusting to watch. And your cousin's been having a rough morning but he and Riku are fine and probably back out in the living room by now. You woke up pretty late."

"What time is it?"

"About eleven? Kairi said something about making waffles but only if everybody was up for it. If it's just the six of us it won't be so bad, but no rush." A glance to my right was enough to notice he was texting someone. I didn't try to read over his shoulder, but I had to admit I was curious anyway.

"You seem surprisingly okay. Not hungover at all?"

"Oh I'm absolutely hungover." There was a slight chuckle. "But nothing I'm not used to."

I didn't get a chance to ask what that meant before I heard a knock on the door and Kairi poked her head in, giving both of us an amused, questioning look.

"Hey boys. Up for breakfast? Demyx finally told me where the waffle iron is." I already knew I wasn't going to hear the end of this whenever Kairi and I got a chance to be alone, but Axel didn't even seem bothered as he grinned at her.

"Sure, we'll be there. Give us a few minutes." Without another word, Kairi left even though I could hear her talking to Sora and Riku in the living room and I finally started to shift to sit up. The world was less spinny but my head was still throbbing enough my vision blanked out for a moment. I figured I must have winced because Axel moved to grab the bottle of aspirin, shaking out a few to hand over to me.

"These'll help until the waffles are done." It was weird. He seemed pretty serious about making sure I was okay, watching me like a hawk until I took the pills from him and swallowed them down. He continued to examine me over the rim of the coffee cup even after the aspirin were gone and I was fully upright. I was pretty sure I still had some of last night's face paint on and my hair was a mess but for once I didn't care about how I looked in front of him.

It's not as romantic as you think. I was just focused on trying to remember my own name.

"Sure. Thanks." It seemed appropriate to say before another sip. "Is there any more coffee left?"

"We can make a new pot if we need to. Finish that first and then a glass of water. I'm serious."

"Why...are you so adamant about this?" I had never seen him this vigilant before, and while it was nice it was also a little freaky. He shrugged, draining his own mug before answering me.

"First hangover, right? You're barely a day over seventeen, Roxas. I know you."

I thought about arguing with that, but given he had my coffee order right I didn't have a leg to stand on.

"I didn't know you swapped for blackout curtains. This room used to have these lame lacy ones Dem's grandmother liked." Somehow that felt safer. It was idle conversation to bring me back to myself and not think so hard about why Axel was treating me as well as he was or if that meant something other than he felt like being nice for once.

It was hard not to wonder after the night before, but I didn't know how to ask. I didn't know if I wanted to ask what he was doing or what he thought. Part of me thought I must have been amping this up in my head, assuming he'd let me sleep in his bed and that he was taking care of me for some other reason than moral obligation. I couldn't assume something like that. Not when Axel and I were still in a weird position of uncertainty.

Curtains were a safer topic than my over-the-edge crush on him.

"They're better for sleeping. The sun comes up a lot earlier here than I'm used to." He looked toward the windows, almost seemingly debating opening the curtains before he decided against it. "Shades are still drawn in the living room, too, until everyone decides to face the day. Ready to get out of bed and join everybody else?"

I nearly kicked myself for thinking that I'd prefer to stay right where I was. It was warm and comfortable and strangely...safe wasn't the word I was thinking of, but it was close enough. Still, I knew everyone else would be waiting and if I spent more time in here alone with Axel it'd raise more questions. I felt myself nod even if I didn't quite know I was moving and he grinned before pushing himself off of the mattress again. He stood there, looking down at me before he used his free hand to reach down and offer it to me.

...I didn't take it.

I should have, maybe, so I wouldn't fall directly on my ass, but in that moment I was too stubborn and determined to prove myself. I didn't need to be taken care of like this even though it was a sort of nice gesture. I didn't need someone thinking I couldn't handle something like a hangover and I didn't need more ammo against me while going out to face my best friend.

It was stupid. Trust me, I know it was stupid but it's what happened. Pushing his hand aside, I handed him my coffee cup instead to get to my feet by myself before taking it back and shuffling toward the door. At least that way I didn't have to see the look he was probably giving me. He silently followed me as we headed for the main rooms, Axel veering off to help Kairi in the kitchen and me approaching the living room. The shower was running in the bathroom which meant Demyx had finally dragged himself out of bed, and seated on the couch were Sora and Riku. Riku was tucked into a corner of the couch with Sora pretty much settled in his lap and leaning against his chest, Gamecube controller in hand as he started through a path in what I recognized as Paper Mario. Riku was awake and nursing a large mug of coffee while keeping an arm securely wrapped around Sora's waist, and even though he was a little too pale and also wearing one of Riku's spare shirts Sora seemed awake and content.

"Morning." He didn't even look away from the screen but there was a grin anyway. Riku moved his feet so I could join them. I almost expected some questions about where I had been and where I had slept the night before, but Sora didn't have any. In fact, he didn't seem bothered at all by the fact I'd just come from Axel's room, and it soon occurred to me that he must have been extremely drunk the night before and didn't even notice.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I remembered what Axel said about Sora having a rough morning and that came to the forefront of my mind instead of worrying about Axel and everything else. The grin changed to something a little more embarrassed.

"Yeah, I got it out of my system this morning." He paused, waiting for Riku to bring the coffee cup up to his lips to take a drink instead of taking the mug to hold it himself. I didn't even have to look to see it was just plain black. "I'm not sure why I got so sick."

"Mixing liquors," Riku sighed suddenly, tugging at one of Sora's hair spikes in irritation. "I tried to tell you last night but you wouldn't listen to me. And you wouldn't stop talking about why the rum was all gone."

There was an inaudible mumble from Sora as his focus went back to the screen. "Whatever. I'm still calling the party a success. I woke up to, like, thirteen separate texts from people about the band last night. It's sort of exciting."

I'd almost forgotten about that. I'm not sure how but my head was still a little fuzzy. It didn't surprise me though. Sora was usually the one who had the most connections out of all of us just by basis of being the busiest and most involved. I didn't even think to check my phone, and truthfully I had no idea where it was. I'd have to look for it later.

The morning, if you could even call it that, was a weird sort of relaxing thing with the six of us. Sora continued playing Paper Mario with Riku's guidance (i.e. bickering) about where to go while Demyx puttered around doing damage control and cleaning from the night before and Kairi and Axel brought out a huge stack of waffles to share. I didn't move from my space on the couch the entire time, able to hear the two of them talking from the kitchen and unwilling to move other than shifting to give Kairi room to sit next to me on the couch. The look she gave me as she set down the plate was enough to say that she had a lot of questions for me later. My only response was to shove a waffle in her face in a sign of maturity.

Eventually we had to split up. Axel had a shift at the café and Sora said something about needing to prepare for a quiz the next day. It kind of gave me the perfect out to spend the rest of the day at Kairi's and give him space to study. Then again, given I knew she was anxious to pounce on me for details I was starting to wonder if that was my smartest idea. I tried not to think about the way Kairi and Demyx exchanged looks as we left the house, kind of the same way I tried not to think about the way Axel held his pinky and his thumb up to the side of his head.

Call you later. That message was pretty clear to not only me but to Kairi who started giggling on her way out.

Sora and Riku were distracted, thank god, but it wasn't that hard to distract the two of them when they were around each other anyway. Sora caught a ride with Riku and it meant it was just me and Kairi once again.

I barely pulled away from Demyx's house before she immediately turned in her seat, eyes wide and arm practically clutching mine even while I drove.

"Okay, spill it."

Knew it.

"Spill what?" I knew I probably sounded more annoyed than I felt, but the fog in my head still hadn't really cleared up.

"Where did you even go last night? I only sent Sora after you because he has this weird Roxas-tracking sense that I haven't perfectly refined yet."

"You grabbed me to play Suck and Blow and you're telling me you don't know where I was? Give me a break, Kairi." She let go of my arm then and stuck out her tongue, leaning back in her seat as we drove back to her place.

"You were outside with him for, like, three hours. Maybe longer? I don't really know, but I hope that means you at least kissed him this time."

"...about that…"

And then came the exasperated sigh. "Seriously, Roxas? Seriously?"

"I was thinking about it before you unleashed good ol' Captain Jack on me! But...I dunno. I'm kind of glad I didn't."

"Why?"

"Because we were both kind of drunk?" I pulled up to the curb in front of her house and killed the ignition. "If I'm really going to kiss a boy, I'd rather it be one who's not drunk. And also when I'm not drunk. That's preferable. I want it to be because we both want it and I want it to be perfect. It was almost there but not quite, so...I'll wait."

She didn't say anything for a moment, tilting her head in thought as she examined me.

"Roxas…" Her eyes softened, but her lips were turned up into a smirk. "That's really sweet. And really gay."

It was maybe smart of her to immediately bolt into her house after that even as I chased her down, yelling obscenities at her.

Kairi's parents weren't home, as usual, so she let me borrow her shower and get cleaned up even though all I did after that was promptly lay down in her bed while she worked on some stuff for the yearbook and put on some reruns of Smallville. I know she was trying to talk to me, but once I was laying down again I could barely keep my eyes open. I'm pretty sure I slept through the rest of the afternoon while she worked. I knew I had homework to catch up on, too, but I just couldn't concentrate. Every time I opened my eyes she was in another part of her room doing homework or chores and I'd immediately go back to sleep.

It was dark by the time she joined me, sitting next to me and shaking my shoulder just enough to jar me.

"Hey, sleepyhead." It was the same sort of amused tone she liked to use on me when she didn't want to startle me and I was conscious enough to appreciate that. "It's six. Are you staying for dinner?"

"Mm…" It wasn't exactly an answer, but the time at least alerted me to the fact I should probably take my ass home. Sitting up took a lot more energy than I wanted to admit, and I couldn't help but wonder how the hell I was still hungover like this. "Thanks, but I should go. My mom's probably going to start calling if I don't show my face in the next couple of hours. I'll pick you up tomorrow though?"

"Sounds good to me." She watched me again, seemingly making sure I wasn't about to fall off of her bed or down the stairs. It was easy enough to grab my backpack and slip on my shoes and as she followed me down to the front door I concentrated on each step. There's no way I could show up this disoriented and face my mom. Not if I didn't want to face a bunch of questions anyway. Kairi reached around me and opened the front door to see me out.

"...you should probably know that you were maybe right." She seemed confused when I spoke, but I wasn't going to elaborate for her. I lifted a hand instead, pulling her into a one-armed hug and only staying for a few seconds. "See ya."

She didn't try to stop me from walking out the front door but when I glanced back she was still in the doorway following me with her eyes. I knew she was left with a lot of questions, but I had too many of my own to solve. I'd have to try and resolve some things the next day, but all I wanted to do right then was go home.

My mom was just getting home about the same time I was with what looked like a bag of burgers. For some reason, my stomach turned just looking at them but I wasn't about to admit that. I heard her ask me questions ("How was the party? Did you take pictures? Did you spend the day at Kairi's?") and I heard myself answering almost on autopilot. It was easy to be automatic and as we headed for the kitchen Aunt Seiya came in from the back garden. Sora was sitting at the table wearing a pair of headphones plugged into his mp3 player, using two pens as makeshift drumsticks and apparently making zero progress on his Spanish homework. There was a startled yell as Aunt Seiya yanked the headphones off of his head and swiped one of the pens, a small victorious smirk on her face as she walked away and left Sora to his own devices.

Most days, my family tries to eat dinner together when we can. We usually only go out when it's a really special occasion like birthdays or something, but the kitchen table's seen plenty of meals over the last several years. Mornings are usually too busy for us to have breakfast together, and with Sora and I working on everything for our last year of school and our moms' work schedules, it was a little harder these days. I should have been kind of ecstatic, actually. Sora pushed his textbook off of the table and immediately started plating burgers and fries while my aunt and my mom settled in. It was quiet but excitable chatter while I heard Sora talk about the party and the performance the night before. The three of them talked enough that I could comfortably sit out of the conversation and zone out. I probably could have gotten away with not saying anything at all and excusing myself from the table, but just as Sora was gearing up to tell a story about something Riku did the night before a loud, almost tinny song began to play from my pocket.

"I like it, I'm not gonna crack, I miss you, I'm not gonna crack…"

There are definitely worse ringtones I could have had at that moment, but I also knew it wasn't exactly the most appropriate. Mom raised her eyebrow, Sora narrowed his eyes, and Aunt Seiya...was singing along, which was actually pretty acceptable.

"Roxas." My mom's tone was just stern enough to tell me she wasn't going to let me take this at the table. I wasn't exactly eating in the first place, but if I left now after not being home all day it'd just be a bigger hassle. I hit mute on the phone and sunk down just a bit in my chair.

Axel had the worst timing in the world.

I choked down about half a burger and some of my fries before pawning the rest off on Sora and absconding to my room. I was already dialing Axel's number before I even shut the door and by the time I collapsed at my desk he answered me.

"I was starting to wonder if you were gonna ignore me." The slow, easy tone seeped its way out of the phone and settled comfortably in my head. I cradled the phone between my head and my shoulder while digging around in my backpack.

"Funny. I had family dinner, sorry. What's up?"

"What are you plans for tomorrow?"

"Uh. Tomorrow's...Halloween, right? Probably nothing since we did our whole Halloween thing yesterday. Maybe hand out candy to the neighbor kids with Sora? Why?"

"A couple of us are going to a haunted house festival over in Traverse Town. Wanna come?"

Traverse Town, at least, wasn't as far as Twilight Town was. The drive was maybe half an hour out from the mainland and while the idea was tempting…

"Who's us?"

"Me, Demyx, some of our other friends. I promise you'll be cool with them. They were at the party last night and everything. The place is supposed to be packed since it's five different houses, but figured it'd be fun." I could practically hear him begging me to come along. Haunted houses usually aren't my scene, and I wasn't really sure if I trusted Axel's judge of character when it came to other friends, but it would be Axel and it'd be Demyx and worst case scenario I could leave early.

"I'll think about it." I'm pretty sure we both knew I'd made up my mind, but at least he was polite enough to pretend I had better options. "If I do go though I'm driving myself there."

"Don't you trust me?"

"What? Of course I do, it's just...you know. Just in case you guys want to hang out after and I don't."

"Roxas." He was laughing at me even if he was trying not to. "Are you worried about meeting my friends?"

"Shut up, that's not it." It was exactly it, but again, shut up.

"It'll be fine. They're a mess on their own but pretty hilarious together. You'll have a good time, and if you don't I'll make it up to you. Okay?"

"Okay, okay." I almost stifled a yawn but not quite. "I'll meet you there at what, eight?"

"Try six. We're gonna be in line for a while and the place closes at midnight." There was a pause, followed by a light hum. "Tired? It's pretty early still."

"Yeah, well, someone's snoring kept me up." I had passed out almost immediately the night before. I had no idea if Axel snored or not, but the mock-gasp was a good enough response.

"Well now that's just rude. See if I ever let you into my bed ever again."

"Like you'd say no?"

Was this flirting? I still had no idea if it was casual banter or if it was actual flirting and I fully blamed my many years of observing Sora and Riku. They're a good couple and they've been together forever, but they weren't exactly shining examples of how differently you should treat your friends from your boyfriends.

Not that Axel was a boyfriend. Or even boyfriend material. Was he? Man I had no idea at that point and I wasn't prepared enough to try and figure it out just yet. One step at a time. Work up to actually kissing him, and then figure it out.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn't be kissing him in a haunted house or in front of his friends, so the next day was out of question.

"You'll just have to ask, won't you?"

I don't know why, but his answer flustered me enough that I went quiet and stared at my chemistry book instead. There was silence on both ends of the line before I found myself rolling my eyes.

"Get real. Maybe in your dreams." It was easier to laugh it off than broach a topic I'm not sure either of us were really ready for. He seemed to agree since I heard him laughing, too, but nothing came after that. "I should probably finish my homework and go to bed though. It's been a long weekend...see you in class tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Sure." His voice sounded a little far away, but it must have been my imagination. "See you then, Roxas."

He didn't even wait for me to say goodbye before he hung up, leaving me in the silence of my bedroom with textbooks scattered around my desk and a weight pulling at my eyelids. I couldn't waste more time thinking about the weird turn of the conversation. I had a lot of stuff I needed to get done before the next day, and if I was planning on going out again that night I probably needed to make an effort to get ahead of the game, too.

In case you were wondering, I got through about half of my homework and fell asleep at my desk before I could even think about moving to my bed.

I woke up with a little more clarity on Monday morning but my head still felt kind of weird and disoriented. It wasn't enough to stop me from getting in gear and packing up to get to school, but it was persistent enough I had to root around in my locker for some aspirin.

The school day itself was pretty chaotic in the way it usually is on a holiday, even if that holiday's Halloween. Most of my teachers were nice enough about letting us goof off a little and even handed out candy, and I don't think I got to move more than ten feet in any direction during lunch without someone coming up to me to talk about Demyx's party and the band. The crowd must have been bigger than I thought because I hardly recognized half of them. I spotted Olette across the cafeteria balancing what looked like two trays of food, and even though she couldn't wave she grinned before turning to head toward what was probably the hallway. More than likely she was tutoring someone through her lunch break.

It sort of made me wonder about someone else I hadn't seen for a long time. I was kind of hoping I could ask Olette, but she seemed busy and before I could make a decision to go after her someone else blocked my path to talk about one of my original songs.

The attention wasn't bad overall. Sora and Demyx were getting it, too, and over the lunch period both of them seemed to be discussing a strategy for selling merchandise somehow. Kairi was letting Selphie braid her hair while she and Riku were going over flashcards for the Spanish class he shared with Sora, and Axel had his face buried in a book and seemed to be watching me over the pages.

So. The usual.

Teitzel, unfortunately, wasn't one of those teachers who was going to let us off that easily and I spent most of sixth period learning to hate the sound of his voice all over again as Axel and I played tic-tac-toe on a spare sheet of paper. Class ended soon enough and I didn't even get to say goodbye to Axel before Kairi approached me but the small flutter of his fingers was enough of a message. I'd be seeing him later anyway so maybe it wasn't so bad.

A buzz from my pocket told me that he'd texted me the address and as Kairi and I headed to the car I decided I had to be more honest than I was last week.

"So hey. Axel invited me to this thing tonight…"

"I had a feeling." She didn't even sound surprised as she let herself into my car, sliding into the passenger seat and tossing her bag in the back.

"Do I even want to know why?"

"He's a little easier to read than you are. So where are you going?"

"Some haunted house thing in Traverse Town? Demyx is coming, too, and I guess a few other people are. It'll be fine. I might even be home early."

I didn't want to tell her I was nervous about meeting Axel's friends or curious about who they were. She probably already knew anyway.

"Somehow I doubt it, but okay. Take me to your place? The boys and I are doing a horror marathon and passing out candy before we go see the second Saw movie tonight."

Even with Kairi being my best friend, sometimes I forgot that she still did things with just Sora and Riku. It was a reassuring thought that I wasn't exactly ditching her and it gave the three of them time to hang out. I didn't even have to ask why I wasn't invited in the first place. I hated the first movie way too much.

The few hours between when we got to my house and when I had to leave passed pretty quickly, especially since Kairi corralled all of us into doing our homework as soon as Sora and Riku stepped into the house. I debated taking a nap instead, but with Kairi around that was pretty impossible. On the other hand I managed to catch up as much as I needed to by the time I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. It didn't matter to me if Sora and Riku knew I was hanging out with Axel and Demyx. Demyx was my barrier even if he didn't know it. Nobody would suspect a thing if I was hanging out in a group.

Or, at least, that's what I told myself as I drove onto the ferry and then onto the mainland toward Traverse Town. It's what I had to hope for and pretend.

I pulled up almost right at six on the dot and parked, stepping out and gazing at the long lines winding their way through the five districts of Traverse Town. Axel wasn't kidding when he said the whole thing was going to be busy. I wasn't even sure where I was supposed to go, but before I could grab my phone to text Axel or Demyx I heard a girl's voice behind me.

"Roxas!"

Whipping my head around, Naminé came into my line of vision dressed down in jeans and a white hoodie as she ran toward me.

"Naminé, hey!" I hadn't thought about the possibility of running into other people I knew, but maybe that was also wishful thinking. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't the boys tell you?" She and Kairi had nearly identical amused looks, the kind that said "you weren't paying attention, were you?" It was sometimes uncanny how much they mirrored each other, but I always figured it was from the mentor thing. Maybe that's just how some people are though. "It's okay, don't worry. The others are buying wristbands to get us into all of the houses."

I was officially lost on what she was saying, but I nodded along anyway as I felt her take my hand and begin leading me toward the front of the lines. All I was getting from this was that Naminé was apparently one of the friends Axel neglected to tell me about, and if Naminé was here-

"Oh. It's you." Marluxia gave me a once-over as Naminé approached him. His expression was about as arrogant as usual even if there was a hint of interest in his tone. I'm not sure why, but Marluxia had an infuriating habit of both looking down on me and being polite enough at the same time. It always made me feel like he was observing me to see how I could be of use to him and it was uncomfortable, to say the least, but for Naminé's sake I tried to keep the peace.

She hadn't let go of my hand yet but she was beaming up at him anyway. "So that makes six of us! That should be pretty fun, don't you think?" I also could never tell if Naminé knew that Marluxia and I didn't always get along or if she was turning a blind eye.

"Oh yeah, oodles and oodles of fun." A drawling voice came from somewhere to my left and I didn't even have to turn to recognize it. Every inch of me recoiled almost instantly and I kept my eyes glued to my shoes. Larxene's footsteps were distinct, the heels of her boots clicking on the pavement as she bounded back up to us with three bright orange wristbands clutched between her fingers. She was already working on snapping Marluxia's on for him as she gave me an almost-disgusted look.

Then again, I'm not her biggest fan either. Never have been. We've done well to keep our distances despite being in the same grade and being in some of the same classes last year, but she was Marluxia's best friend and an even bigger pain in the ass than he was.

"What are you doing here?" It was half a question and half a snarl and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what I'd done to piss her off so immediately. I had been standing in Traverse Town for five minutes and already had to figure out how to hold my ground. I was about to explain myself, figure out a way to make it sound less lame than "I was invited but didn't know you'd be here" when Axel finally made his grand appearance.

"Chill. I invited him." He looked over her head toward me and smiled, almost completely disarming me. Almost. "That cool? A little late to say no, by the way. We wouldn't want to be rude and tell Roxas he can't join us, would we?" He seemed to put an end to that as he slid past a few people toward me. Naminé took it as a sign to let go of my hand as she held it out to Marluxia, waiting for him to place her wristband on, too. Axel had two more orange bands in his hand, and Demyx was finally joining us and waving around a map of the city where the houses were set up. He seemed excited enough to see me before getting distracted arguing with Marluxia and Larxene about which house to go through first.

Axel used the opportunity to approach me and snap on his wristband, grabbing my hand without warning to do the same. With Demyx in the lead and the mismatched trio following, Axel and I brought up the rear.

"You know," I finally said as I glanced at the Halloween decorations in the first district. "You could have just said your friends were Marluxia and Larxene. I've known them for years."

"Have you?" It almost sounded like nonchalance, but there was a hint of guilt in his tone as well. I wasn't dumb. I knew that he must have figured that out by now and his shoulders hunched a little as we jumped into line for the first house. "Guess I forgot. Whoops."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and looked around again. The city had really gone all out this year. "So what's with the secrecy? Didn't think they'd agree to let me come along if they knew?"

He sighed heavily even as we shuffled forward. Demyx was in the middle of telling a joke and Larxene looked half-way to pushing him out of line, but it was a good enough distraction. "No. But I was kind of thinking you wouldn't agree to come if you knew who they were."

"Sooo...you tricked me."

"It worked." There was a half-hearted grin. "...if it really bugs you that much, you can go home after the first house. I just wanted to hang out with you tonight, alright?"

It was hard to believe, but then again we were hanging out a lot more than we used to. And I couldn't exactly say I didn't enjoy it. I did. A lot. And he's not as stupid as he tried to make himself out to be. He knew it, too.

But he also knew exactly how to play me and while that should have pissed me off, maybe I had just resigned to my fate.

"...we'll see how things go after the first house, okay?" It wasn't exactly a promise, but the way his face lit up you'd think I'd just proposed to him.

Man...what's there to say about the haunted house fest? Let me break it down for you in an itemized list:

-First house: it was a warm-up house, little jumpscares and a dark maze filled with spooky sounds. The six of us weren't exactly enthralled with it but it just made the anticipation of the other houses even greater.

-Second house: Scary laboratory and a zombie breakout. We ran a lot in this house. A lot. Naminé accidentally punched one of the workers in the face and Demyx knocked over a setpiece trying to find a new path, but it was still minimal damage.

-Third house: haunted mansion. The actors were more talkative, following us at a slow pace and hiding in plain sight, spooking all of us by simply speaking up. The way the rooms were set up meant actors could hide on the ground without us knowing as we looked for obvious traps. Larxene and Marluxia's twin screams were a thing of beauty, but nobody needed to know I practically jumped back into Axel as a pendulum swung down in front of my face.

-Somewhere between the end of the third house and waiting in line for the fourth house, I realized how cold it was outside. I was shivering, but at the same time I was kind of enjoying myself and didn't feel like leaving.

-Somewhere between me starting to shiver and entering the fourth house, Axel gave me his hoodie.

...look, that maybe wasn't such a big deal to anyone but me, but it sort of meant a lot. It was warm and it was large, comfortable to burrow into and even though it smelled faintly of smoke and cinnamon I couldn't complain. He waited until the others weren't looking to squeeze my shoulder and scratch at the back of my head, and while I'm not really into the idea of any form of PDA the sentiment was nice.

Still wasn't a date, but I would take what I could get.

Maybe that made me just a little bit pathetic.

-Fourth house: a fairytale set-up that led us over the river and through the woods where Grandmother had a chainsaw. At one point we all got separated in the house and had to find our way back and Naminé looked a little more than upset.

-She perked up by the time we hit the fifth and final house though, this huge and sprawling underground labyrinth. It was pitch black and freezing, pulling out all stops with puzzles for us to solve, jumpscares, and the only way out was to fall directly through the floor.

In the end...even with Larxene and her snide comments and the fact I'm not a huge jumpscare person, I had fun. I could handle Marluxia and Larxene if I had everyone else on my side, and it was admittedly kind of nice to catch up with Naminé while I could. Axel kept everything lowkey enough that nobody was suspicious of anything and as we parted ways I didn't even realize I still had his sweatshirt until I was halfway home.

The drive was what wore me out. I didn't know how, but my headache came back almost in full force as I headed back toward the ferry station. There was a pounding somewhere behind my eyes but there was a comfort in knowing I didn't have far to go. By the time I pulled up to the house it was a little after midnight and the lights were off except for a soft glow in the living room. Entering the house as quietly as I could, I kept the lights off and peered through the dark. The sounds of a movie playing were coming from the main room, so naturally that's where I went.

From behind the couch I could see Kairi on the left with her head tucked against Sora's shoulder, clearly passed out instead of paying attention to what was on-screen. Riku, similarly, was in the same position to Sora's right. Sora was awake though, laptop in front of him and working on what looked like a paper for one of his classes.

It was quiet enough he must have heard me because he suddenly turned his head, grinning at me through the dark.

"Hey. Have fun?"

"...yeah." It was dark enough he couldn't see what I was wearing or the fact that I had to lean against the wall because I was suddenly too dizzy to stand upright. "Are they staying the night?"

"Nah. I'm just finishing this paragraph and I'll drive them home." He already went back to looking at his screen, frowning in fluorescent light as he made an adjustment to his document.

"...hey Sora." There was a hum of acknowledgement, but he still wasn't looking at me. "Have you considered taking a break? You've kind of been going non-stop since school started."

There was a laugh, but it was uncertain all the same. "I don't know if I have time, Rox. I have a lot of deadlines to make. Early admission closes on Friday."

I didn't even have to ask what for. Sora's only talked about one college for pretty much our entire lives, and I had a weird, sinking feeling he wasn't even going to apply to other schools until he was sure about this one. Twilight University was his top choice and something he'd worked for since he was a kid. It's one of the most prestigious schools in the area (maybe even the most) and incredibly hard to get into. Going for early admission was a smart move on his part.

It meant that if, somehow, he didn't get in he'd still have time to figure it out.

"Are you going to make it?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely. I just have to finish my personal statement tomorrow and get another copy of my transcripts to mail out. It'll be fine." His fingers clacked on the keys in front of him. "...you sound tired, dude. You should head to bed."

"Promise you'll consider the same in an hour?"

"One more paragraph and dropping off these two and I'll be out. I promise. Go get some sleep."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I was worried because we've had the same conversation before. We've had that argument before and I've found Sora facedown on his books at 4am more than once. But it seemed like maybe he was going to listen this time, so all I could do was say goodnight one more time and head for my room.

Don't ask me how the hell I made it to my bed. I don't remember, but I remember falling asleep in Axel's hoodie and only faintly thinking about setting my alarm.

The only reason I woke up at all was because Sora came into my room and told me I had fifteen minutes to get ready if I was still planning on picking up Kairi. I strongly considered telling Kairi to walk, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen. Fifteen minutes meant skipping a shower and not even brushing my hair, fully aware I was going to school in the same jeans as the day before and Axel's hoodie. I had just enough consciousness left to slip on one of my wristbands for some semblance of fashion before heading out to pick up my best friend.

I wasn't sure if Kairi was wary or fascinated by my appearance when she got in the car, but she didn't say anything. I was too busy forcing my eyes open and ignoring the weird, swollen lump in my throat to even try to engage in conversation.

I'm pretty sure she felt bad for me because she didn't even ask me about the night before and instead ventured off to the cafeteria to buy me a coffee from one of the snack stands. It helped a little, but she kept her distance and I kept myself burrowed in Axel's sweater. There was a roman numeral eight stitched into one of the sleeves that kept catching on my fingers and it kept me alert enough to walk from my locker to first period. By the time the morning announcements were over, I managed to at least tell Kairi about the haunted houses and about the group of people we were with. She wordlessly tugged on my hood and lifted both eyebrows, grinning a little too gleefully when I nodded.

She had work to do and it kept her busy, but as the minutes ticked by it became very clear to me that I was not feeling good. Rolling from first period to second period that only intensified as my vision blurred every now and then and Axel's hoodie didn't do a good enough job keeping me warm.

But. I was already there. School was still school and I figured it had to do with not sleeping well and that if I could get to lunch I'd figure it out. Or nap in my car. One of the two.

Besides...maybe it was stupid, but I was kind of looking forward to third period so I could see Axel. Shut up, I know, but he'd become this fixture in my life that wasn't going away. Now that I was allowing myself to, I realized I kind of liked that.

Demyx updated Sora on the events of the night before while we worked on a lab in chemistry and since those two can talk enough for at least eight people I found it easier to shut my mouth and focus on my work. Sora was listening and asking questions, but every now and then I caught him looking at me with a concerned sort of frown. Normally we stay out of each other's business when we're at school but...that's Sora for you. Sometimes he can't help himself.

I didn't even fight him when he started pulling me by the hood to third period while Demyx remained oblivious and chatty as usual. Sliding into my desk, I waited for Sora to let go before allowing my head to drop with a dull thud and refused to move. My friends were gathered around me and chatting, getting themselves settled in and updating each other about everything they could think of. Lunch was after third period but at the same time it's hard for them not to be like this. Demyx was telling more stories about the haunted houses again and I felt more than saw Axel's presence looming somewhere behind me before long fingers subtly rubbed at my scalp.

I'm not even sure when this became our thing, but it was a pattern that seemed to develop on its own. If he recognized that I was still wearing his sweater he didn't call me on it and Kairi poked my elbow with the end of her pen.

"Roxas, sit up. Class is starting soon."

I think I maybe mumbled an affirmative and hauled myself into a seated position, propping my head up and curling a hand into the oversized sleeve of Axel's hoodie. I know I was sitting at my desk surrounded by my usual group. I know we were going over discussion notes from the day before. I know we had a video to watch that explained the politics and local branches of government on the island. And I know that I slept through pretty much all of that even while I was sitting upright, so I don't know what Kairi thought she was accomplishing.

The bell rang and everyone around me started to get up from their seats, packing up their binders or bags and sweeping everything off of their desks. My friends were getting ready for lunch and chatting with each other...and left me there. So that was nice. All five of them somehow got to the door of the classroom before they noticed that I wasn't following after them and Kairi suddenly realized I wasn't responding to her. I was half-awake by then and I heard Sora following right behind her, a hand flat on my desk to balance himself and another hand immediately flat against my forehead.

"Ouch." It was murmured and his hand continued to move over my face. "I thought it was weird you slept in this morning."

By that point I'd caught on that I had a fever and I was sort of dying but it still took way too much energy to care about that. Eventually prying my eyes open, I watched Sora's hand continue its movements before he crouched down to face me.

"C'mon. Can you stand?" It was a quiet tone and it was a lot easier to see he was worried when he was this close. I wasn't sure how to reply so for the moment I didn't. "Roxas. Can you hear me?"

"...yeah."

"Why didn't you just stay home?" Kairi's voice was somewhere to my right but the thought of even trying to turn my head was less than appealing.

"You know why." It was mumbled and maybe I snapped a little, and maybe she didn't actually know but if she was my best friend she'd pick up on exactly what I was saying. The reason had red hair and green eyes and had a scent that lulled me to sleep and wasn't in this classroom anymore which disappointed me beyond belief.

The problem with admitting to a crush on the guy was that it seemed to give my thoughts license to be as outlandish as possible.

"Whatever it was was a stupid reason." Sora sighed and suddenly moved, shifting his books in his arms to use the other to wedge under me and lift me out of my desk. "If you can't even get up I'm not even sure you should be driving. Kai, can you take him? I have a student council meeting I can't skip." He at least sounded like he regretted that and Kairi shook her head in response. With both of them flanking me on either side we started heading out of the classroom. My head was spinning and while I wouldn't say it outright, Sora was right. I didn't think driving was the smartest move either.

"I can't either. I have a yearbook interview set up at lunch for the drama department. Maybe Demyx?"

Like hell I was letting Demyx drive my car.

"Okay, not Demyx." Sora held back a snicker, alerting me to the fact I'd actually said it out loud. We stepped out of the classroom and into the hall by then where the others were lingering and chatting. Axel's attention abruptly shifted back to me and an unreadable expression appeared.

"What'd you do to him?" It was a joking kind of tone but somehow his eyes were glued on me and his arms were folded almost defensively over his chest.

"I woke him up." Sora was starting to sound a little stressed and I knew this was cutting into his meeting. Kairi exchanged looks with Riku and Demyx finally seemed to realize something was up but none of that mattered. All that mattered was Axel in my line of vision, the only thing I could actually see outside of the rings of black spots circling me, and I dug into my pocket before lobbing my car keys at his chest.

"Drive me."

"What?"

"Drive me home. You have nothing else to do and Sora won't let me drive."

Looking back on it, maybe I shouldn't have sounded so demanding or so whiny but it seemed to solve the problem. Sora and Kairi exchanged looks before both of them looked at Axel. I'm not sure how he didn't melt having three pairs of bright blue eyes on him but he held his ground pretty well. He spun the keyring around on his index finger, seemingly thinking it over before he reached forward and draped an arm around my shoulders to herd me down the hall.

"I'll deliver him in one piece," he called over his shoulder to everybody else. It didn't take long after that for everyone to disperse in opposite directions, but I knew I was fading pretty fast and using Axel as a crutch to stay upright. The walk to the parking lot felt like forever and I'm pretty sure judging by the way he was looking at me he thought about picking me up and carrying me to my car. Slowly but surely we made it though and I crawled into my passenger seat, barely paying attention to where I was dropping my stuff from third period. Kairi or Sora could break into my locker and get my backpack. I didn't care. I was tired, I was congested, I was suddenly nauseous and I was at the point it made more sense to sink into the darkness and not come back for a few days.

It made sense to me why everything felt so off on Sunday and Monday. Axel didn't start the car immediately, sitting in the driver's seat to not only push the seat back (his dumb, long legs didn't exactly fit well) and also adjust the mirrors. Even after that though he didn't move right away.

"Did you feel this bad last night?"

"...not until after I left." I knew what he was thinking, and no. Being outside for so long last night didn't make me sick. Saturday might have, but I was pretty sure I was already incubating whatever the hell this was before then. Axel didn't have to know that I would have gone with him the night before anyway, and he had no way of ever knowing. "I wanted to return this." Pulling at his sweater, I did absolutely nothing to remove it.

"Silly…" He shook his head. "You could have kept it, I don't care."

Silence. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to say "why" or "thank you" so I chose to say nothing, simply burrowing myself further into the sweater. It was mine now and he'd have to rip it from my corpse if he ever wanted it back. Having the hood pulled up meant it came down over my eyes and the added layer of darkness was a relief. Starting the car, both of us winced at the sudden volume of the CD I had playing.

"Midwest love affairs, I bend when I am bored. Late night liquor blue will lead me to the floor. Can we fake it, can we make believe, I'm so full of love it deeply sickens me…"

I might have cringed for another reason. I had been telling Axel the truth when I said that I could relate to every Motion City Soundtrack song, but I had to hope he wasn't reading too much into that. He lowered the volume to something less ear-piercing and backed out of the space in the lot, making the easy drive back to my place.

I dozed a little with my head against the window as Axel took the wheel and I didn't even think to worry about that decision. Axel got us to Twilight Town in one piece; I could probably trust him to drive ten minutes to my house. By the time we got there and he'd parked, I was even less conscious than usual and had just enough coherency left to tell him that the key that was painted bright blue was my house key. No one else would be home at this early in the afternoon.

He must have been debating for a while. It was unlike Axel to just act without having some kind of ulterior motive or calculated plan and so when he got out of the car and came around to my side to open the door I had to wonder what he was thinking up. I felt myself being pulled out of my seat and up off of the ground, shifted in Axel's arms into a princess-carry before he started hauling me and my dead weight to my front door.

Still not as romantic as you'd think, by the way. His elbows are bony and he didn't exactly have a great grasp on me like he was afraid of touching me too much. That could have just been because carrying people isn't his forte. I'll forgive him for that. It meant I didn't have to walk and I didn't have to climb the stairs and that realization alone was almost enough to make me cry.

Almost. I spent most of the laborious journey with my face burrowed in his sort of thin ribs and listening to the dull, steady thump of his heart if you really want to know. Axel had only been to the house a couple of times but seemed to remember the exact path up to my room. I half-expected him to dump me on the mattress and leave me there with a cheery "see ya later, Shortstop!" but he seemed to have other ideas.

I watched him for a while as he buzzed around my room, closing the blinds, grabbing a glass of water and some aspirin and even going as far as taking off my shoes. All of this happened in a short span of time and it slowly dawned on me what was going on.

"Dude. You're such a mother hen."

"I'm not sure the guy who almost ate concrete twenty minutes ago really has room to say anything." He took the jab in good grace though and even more interesting he didn't deny it. Instead, he continued what he was doing, dragging my trash can over to my bed before grabbing the throw blanket I'd balled up at the foot of the bed and spreading it over me. I was still in my jeans and his hoodie but moving seemed pretty overrated. With the permission to just relax I curled up under the covers and let my eyes close, pulling the hood down further to block extra light. There was a weird sort of pressure on my head through the fabric, pads of strong fingers working slow circles over the top and the back of my head.

"Are you going to be good if I leave you here and head back to class?" I couldn't tell if he was serious or not, but the question gave me something to process. In theory, yeah, I would have been fine on my own. I was 17 and fully capable of taking care of myself. On the other hand, I was 17 and very curious how far I could push Axel.

"...stay for a while? At least until I fall asleep."

I thought maybe I'd pushed too far. Axel didn't reply at first and I was already starting to drift off before he could properly answer. It was a good try, but between you and me I would have fallen asleep without him. It was the thought though. It was something I wanted to see happen, something I wanted to test and Axel still didn't give me a verbal reply before I felt the bed dip next to me and the hand continued moving over my head. It wasn't the same soft touch that came from him playing with my hair, but it was relaxing all the same.

"I should tell you about this book I'm reading." His voice had taken on a softer tone and if I didn't know better I'd think it sounded fond. I felt myself press up into his hand and also press my face into the mattress, bundled up and slipping away.

"Tell me everything."

To this day I can't tell you what book Axel was reading in early November. I couldn't remember the plot or the characters or why he was even reading it in the first place. But I could at least describe the way he sounded as his voice put me to sleep and the way his hand never let up, and the last thing I remember was falling into a deeper sleep with him settled next to me.