Daryl walked away to go do something so I looked at Beth. Her cup was almost empty. "Hey, I dare you to chug the rest of that." I smirked at her.

She looked down at her drink. "What? No way."

"Come on. It's not even a lot." I teased. "Chug with me."

"No, I don't wanna get sick...and I WILL get sick."

She's right. This is her first time drinking after all. I nodded at her. "Sorry. I just...want all of us to get drunk and have fun."

"We will. We're gettin' there. But slowly." She stretched out the word 'slowly'.

I shrugged and thought for a minute. "I'll do it."

"Abby, no, you don't have to." She shook her head. "Yer cup is fuller than mine."

"So what?" I cocked an eyebrow. "I'll do it right now." I grabbed my cup and tipped it, drinking the clear liquid down. It was awful and burning my throat and making my eyes water. "Ugh." I said and slammed my jar down when I was done. "Oh, it burns."

"Good for you." Beth said.

"What happened?" Daryl walked back over.

"Abby chugged the rest of her drink." Beth told him.

I looked up at him. He gave me a kind of scolding look. "So?" I said.

"Yeah, 'so'?" He mocked me. "So, get sick then."

"Alright, I will." I grinned.

"How have you avoided drinking at parties?" I asked Beth. The three of us were drinking and talking. I was doing most of the talking. She gave me a weird look. "I'm not saying anything bad by it, I just mean…how did you get people off your back? 'Cause there's always that person that's like, 'come on, take a drink. Just have one.' And guys, especially guys! They try to get you drunk so they can take advantage of you. I remember I was at my friend's house and he was trying to get me to drink whiskey, and I can't drink whiskey, it makes me sick. I asked him several times if it would make me sick and he kept saying no. So, I drank a lot of it and it made me so sick. So, I threw up on the side of his house. That's what he gets."

Beth giggled. "I don't know. But I will say this, it wasn't easy."

I let out a small laugh.

"Why you drinkin' around guys like that?" Daryl narrowed his eyes at me.

I gave him a weird look. I was about to say something, but Beth cut me off.

"I have a great idea! Let's play Never Have I Ever!"

"Oh, I hate that game. I always lose." I said.

"What the hell is that?" Daryl asked.

"It's a drinking game." I rolled my eyes.

"I'on wanna play no drinkin' game." Daryl said.

"Neither do I." I said. "Sorry, Beth." She looked disappointed. "Maybe later." I tried. "So, now that you've had your first drink, what do ya wanna do now?"

"What do ya mean?" She asked me.

"You wanna try smokin'?" I smirked.

"No, thanks." She made a face.

"You almost did that one time, remember?" I said referring to that time back at the farm when we first met.

"Yeah, I remember." She rolled her eyes but smiled.

"You tried to get her to smoke weed?" Daryl asked me with his eyes narrowed.

I glanced at Beth quickly. I don't think she knows about me smoking weed. "No." I said back to Daryl. "They were just cigarettes."

"Ya smoke cigarettes too?" He said roughly.

"I used to. Not really anymore." I shrugged.

"You don't need to be doin' that. Ya wanna sound like me?"

I blinked at him a few times. Why does he care if I smoke? "I just said that I don't." I gave him an annoyed look then took a sip of my moonshine. I let out a little laugh because I just remembered something. "Although," I started, "back when I used to, I went outside one night to smoke and I didn't want my family to know that I smoked so I was like on the side of the house and I thought I heard footsteps, but at first I just thought it was my neighbor taking his dog out so I just shrugged if off. But then, they sounded like they picked up. Like they got faster and closer, so I got a little freaked out and walked towards the back door and then they got even faster! Like there was definitely someone running at me. So, I threw the damn cigarette down and ran inside and told everyone and no one was concerned. Like no one. You'd think my dad would be out there looking but nope. They just pretty much all ignored me. Said it was probably a cat but there was NO way that was a frickin' cat! Those footsteps were heavy as hell." I looked down. "I was so mad at them." I took a gulp of my drink. "But...yeah, I don't smoke anymore."

"Better not." Daryl said.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "What are you? My dad?" He didn't answer.

I heard Beth giggle. "Abby, yer drunk."

"Whatever." I said and took another sip. "If that person would have shown themself, I would have thrown a rock right at their face."

"You was allowed to do that, ya know?" Daryl said. "If someone's on yer property, you could do that."

"That's the thing, though, I couldn't see 'em, so I don't if they were." I paused and took another drink. We got quiet for a minute.

"Can we please play Never Have I Ever?" Beth said.

I sighed. "Fine."

We switched our positions on the floor so we could all be more comfortable.

"So, first, I say somethin' I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink." Beth explained to Daryl. "Then we switch. You really don't know this game?"

"I never needed a game to get lit before." He said roughly.

"Wait, are we starting?" I asked.

"How do you know this game?" Daryl asked Beth.

"That's a good question." I gave Beth an amused look.

"My friends played." She said. "I watched. Okay, I'll start." She thought for a minute. "I've never…shot a crossbow. So now you drink." She pointed at Daryl. "And Abby if you have."

"Ain't much of a game." He said.

"That was a warm-up." She said. "Now you go."

"Ladies first." He looked at me.

I sighed and smiled. "Okay. Um…I never…jeez what haven't I done?" I laughed. I thought for a minute. "Okay, this is really dumb but…I never rode on a horse before the turn."

Beth gave me an annoyed look. "You know I have."

"I couldn't think of anything."

"Yeah, but still…"

"Well, you knew he shot a crossbow! But you still said that."

She sighed and took a drink. I looked at Daryl. "You never rode on a horse before this?"

"Nope. I hate horses."

I laughed. "Yeah, I was afraid to because my friend got badly injured while riding a horse one time. It went through two trees and her legs didn't fit but the horse didn't stop."

Beth grimaced.

"Yeah, so…if that horse would have done that to me, I would have sold it to the glue factory."

Daryl laughed but Beth glared at me.

"All right." She said. "Daryl's turn."

We turned our attention to him. I was actually a little curious as to what he would say.

"I don't know." He said. He was chewing on the skin around his finger.

"Just say the first thing that pops into your head." Beth said.

"I've never been out of Georgia." Daryl said.

"Really?" Beth asked. "Okay, good one." She took a sip.

"That was a good one." I took a drink. "Oh, I have a good one for my next turn! But it's your turn now, Beth."

I've never…been drunk and did somethin' I regretted." Beth said.

Daryl took a drink. "I've done a lot of things."

"Me too." I laughed and took a drink. "Wait, what kind of stuff, Daryl?" I asked him sweetly.

"Never mind." He said embarrassed. "Take yer turn. Let's hear yer good one."

I laughed. "I've never slept over a friend's house."

"WHAT?" Beth practically yelled.

"I never have." I shook my head.

She was giving me a stupid look. "And you were givin' me crap about never drinkin' before?"

I threw my hands up. "I just don't like sleepovers. I've always been really particular when it comes to sleep and I have trouble falling asleep in unfamiliar places. Plus, I always thought it was pointless. I had my own bed and own room, why do I wanna go sleep in someone else's? I don't know, I just don't do the sleepover thing."

Beth and Daryl both took a drink once I finished.

"You went to a sleepover?" Beth asked him.

"Nah, but I've crashed at people's houses."

"Your turn, Daryl." I said to change the subject. That was more awkward than I thought it would be. But…I knew I could get both of them out with that.

"I've never been on vacation." Daryl said.

I took a drink.

"What about campin'?" Beth questioned.

"No, that was just somethin' I had to learn to hunt." Daryl replied.

"Yer dad teach you?" She asked.

"Mm-hmm."

"Okay." Beth said and took a sip. I've never…been in jail. I mean, as a prisoner." She let out a nervous laugh.

We were all silent for a moment. Things seemed to get serious.

"Is that what you think 'a me?" Daryl said.

"I didn't mean anythin' serious. I just thought, you know, like the drunk tank. Even my dad got locked up for that back in the day."

"So, you think we have?" I asked. I didn't want things to get sour, so I tried to make it less serious. "Well, wait…do you mean in jail or at jail? Because I've been at jail. I used to go there with my dad occasionally. You know, with he being a cop? I made a friend there that was in jail named Tim. I invited him to my birthday party, but he didn't come."

They both looked at me for a moment then things went right back to serious.

"Drink up." Daryl told her.

"Wait. Prison guard. Were you a prison guard before?" Beth asked Daryl.

He was quiet for a moment. "No."

Things got really awkward after that. I could tell Beth regretted asking that so I decided not to make a big deal about it. "It's your turn again." She said to me.

I tried to think of something. "Uh...I'm gonna skip this round."

"I'm gonna take a piss." Daryl said and got up. He seemed a little angry. Was he really offended? He dropped his jar on the floor.

"You have to be quiet." Beth said.

"Cain't hear you! I'm takin' a piss!" He yelled. He started peeing right there in the kitchen corner.

"Daryl, don't talk so loud." Beth told him.

"What, are you my chaperone now?" He snapped. He finished and started to make his way back over. "Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never…never eaten frozen yogurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus."

Wait...why is he so pissed off all of a sudden? I decided to tease him, maybe it would change his attitude a little. "You mad, bro?" I narrowed my eyes at Daryl and smiled.

He ignored me. "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't thank I've ever relied on anyone for anythang."

"Daryl." Beth tried.

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everythang was fun. Like everythang was a big game. I sure as hell never cut my wrist lookin' for attention."

I gasped and looked at Beth. Why would he say that? "Okay, Daryl, I think you're overreacting just a little—

We heard the walker outside from before.

"Sounds like our friend out there is trying to call all of his buddies." Daryl said.

"Daryl, just shut up." Beth said through gritted teeth.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before?" Daryl continued his rampage. "I'm gonna teach you right now. Come on." He grabbed Beth by her wrist. "You, too, Life of the Party!" He yelled to me. "It's gonna be fun." He dragged her outside. I followed.

"Hey, we should stay inside." I called to them.

"Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!"

"Dumbass." Daryl said to the walker. "Com'ere, dumbass."

"Daryl." I tried.

"You wanna shoot?" He asked Beth.

"I-I don't know how." She said.

"Oh, it's easy. Com'ere." He grabbed Beth and shot his crossbow. The arrow pinned the walker to the tree.

"Can we not do this now?" I said. "Come on, Daryl."

"Come on, it's fun."

"Just stop it! Daryl!" Beth yelled.

"Com'ere." He grabbed her around the neck and shot again. It hit the walker in the chest. Beth looked really uncomfortable.

I got in between them to try and maybe calm everyone down. "Daryl, stop it. This isn't the time."

"You wanna try? Com'ere." He grabbed me like he did Beth but it was really hard.

"Ow, Daryl!"

He shot the walker again but didn't put it down.

"Just kill it!" Beth scolded.

"Com'ere, girls." He said. "Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice."

Beth angrily walked over to the helpless walker and put him down.

"What the hell you do that for?" Daryl snapped. "I was havin' fun."

"No, you were bein' a jackass." Beth snapped back. "If anyone found our people—

"Don't." Daryl cut her off. "That ain't remotely the same."

"Killin' them is not supposed to be fun." She yelled again.

"Guys, let's just chill out, okay?" I tried again.

"What do you want from me, girl, huh?" Daryl said.

"I want you to stop actin' like you don't give a crap about anythin'." She said. "Like nothin' we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you. It's bullshit!"

"Is that what you think?"

"That's what I know."

I just watched the two of them. I was hoping things didn't get too out of hand.

"You don't know nothin'." Daryl said to her.

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl." Said Beth. "I'm not Michonne, or Carol or Maggie. I survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them or even Abby. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're…afraid."

Daryl walked closer to Beth and got in her face. "I ain't afraid 'a nothin'."

"...I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn...after my mom. You were like me." She said.

I noticed Daryl looked a little upset after she said that. What is she doing? Is she trying to break him? "Beth, what are you doing?"

"And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close." She continued ignoring my question.

"Too close, huh? You know all about that. You lost two boyfriends, you cain't even shed a tear. Yer whole family's gone, all you can do is go out lookin' for a hooch like some dumb college bitch!"

"Screw you. You don't get it."

"No, you don't get it! Everyone we know is dead!"

"You don't know that!" Beth yelled.

"They're not all dead." I said.

"Might as well be, 'cause you ain't never gonna see 'em again." Daryl yelled.

We were silent for a second. Beth let out a cry. I don't understand what happened? We were all getting along fine then all of a sudden…bam! I don't know why Daryl is being so harsh?

"Rick." He said looking at me.

Something snapped in me when he mentioned my dad. "Fuck off! My dad ain't dead!" I had enough. "And you need to chill out! She didn't even say anything that bad to you. She asked BOTH of us that question. Did I freak out?" He was just glaring at me. "Stop being such an asshole."

"Oh yeah! And what about you?"

I braced myself waiting to get roasted. If it gets bad, just walk away. I told myself.

"Yer a saint, ain't ya? Yeah, you don't do nothin' wrong. 'Cept," he scoffed, "get my brother killed."

I was taken aback. "That wasn't my fault." I said angrily. He even told me it wasn't my fault, so I know he's just saying it because he's angry.

"Course not. Nothin's yer fault. Especially with yer dad always on yer side. Daddy's little girl."

He was beginning to hurt my feelings. I took a deep breath.

"And yer dumb and annoying stories. From now on, keep it to yerself 'cause no one else wants to hear about yer bullshit! You spoiled, self-centered butch!"

My eyes widened. Butch? I used to get called that by my older cousin, Franky. It always hurt my feelings. It felt like I was punched in the stomach.

"Hey, while we're at it," Daryl continued, "why don't ya tell yer "best friend" here what ya did with her boyfriend back at the farm? Huh?"

My eyes went way wide and I completely forgot about my feelings being hurt. I quickly turned to face Beth, her eyes were as wide as mine and she was giving me a questioning look.

"What?" She said to me.

I took a few deep breaths knowing that I can't lie my way out of this. I have to tell her the truth. "We kissed." I admitted. Beth's eyes went wide again and she looked down at the ground. "...but-but it was nothing." I started shaking my head and gave her a sad look. She looked back up at me. "He kissed me and...it-it didn't mean anything." I breathed.

Beth took a while to respond. I could tell she was angry but mostly hurt and it hurt me that I hurt her. This is why I never wanted her to know. "It-it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone." She said quietly. I could tell it bothered her, though, and I wondered if things would be different between us now.

I got really pissed off after that and turned to Daryl. "I can't believe you did that." I said angrily.

"What, told the truth?" He snapped. "She don't care anyway."

"Daryl, just stop." Beth shouted. I think she had enough of everything and just wanted it to stop.

"No!" Daryl yelled and pulled away. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates."

I slowly walked away and up onto the porch. They said some other stuff, but I didn't care anymore. He really hurt my feelings and I was pissed.

"Maybe—maybe I could have done somethin'." I heard Daryl say. Beth hugged him from behind. She held him while he cried. I leaned my head against the wooden pole on the porch.

Beth and Daryl joined me on the porch soon after. I did not talk to either of them. They talked for a little here and there. Then, it got dark out.

"I'm not mad." Beth said out of nowhere. I looked up at her. "I swear I'm not."

She's seriously not mad at me? I don't know that I wouldn't be mad if it were the other way around. That's because she's a better person than me. I tried to give her a smile but it wouldn't work. So, I just nodded.

"I get why my dad stopped drinkin'." Beth said randomly.

"You feel sick?" Daryl asked her.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad."

"Mhmm." Daryl said. "Yer lucky yer a happy drunk."

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink."

"Yeah, I'm a dick when I'm drunk." Daryl smirked.

I snorted. "Got that right." I said quietly.

There was a brief pause.

"Merle had this dealer." Daryl started. "This janky, little, white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watchin' TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high."

Oh, so, he can tell stories but I can't?

"We were watchin' this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. And he wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweaker's kids' favorite show. And he never sees his kids, so he felt guilty about it or somethin'. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hittin' the tweaker, like, hard. As hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun, sticks it right here." He pointed at his head. I sat up a little. "He says, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch." So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yellin'. I'm yellin'. I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon about a talkin' dog."

"How'd you get out of it?" Beth asked.

"The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughin' and forgot all about it." Daryl put his head down then looked back up. "You want to know what I was before all this?"

"No, I'm good." I said trying to be a smartass.

"What?" Beth said.

"I was just driftin' around with Merle doin' whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole with an even bigger asshole for a brother."

I called that. I let out a laugh.

"You miss him, don't you?" Beth asked Daryl referring to Merle. He didn't answer. "I miss Maggie." She continued. "I miss her bossin' me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoying and overprotective. And my dad."

I became saddened at the mention of Hershel. He was a good guy. Then, that made me think of my dad. I really miss him.

"I thought—I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved." She put her head back against the pole and looked like she was going to cry again. "That's how unbelievably stupid I am."

"That's how it's supposed to be." I finally spoke. I decided I would talk to Beth. She didn't so anything to me. I just won't talk to Daryl. "I miss my dad, too. So much. We were super close. Always were."

Beth gave me a sad excuse for a smile. "I wish I could just…change."

"You did." Daryl told her.

"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now."

"I'm just used to it, things bein' ugly. Growin' up in a place like this."

"Well, you got away from it." She said.

"I didn't."

"You did." She pressed.

"Maybe you got to keep on remindin' me sometimes."

"No. You can't depend on anybody for anythin', right?" She said. "I'll be gone someday."

"Stop." Daryl said.

"Yeah, don't say that, Beth."

"I will, though." She said. "You're gonna be the last man standing. You are. And so are you, Abby."

I gave her a surprised look. "Me? I'm not as tough as you think."

"But you will. Just watch. And you guys are gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone."

"You ain't a happy drunk at all." Daryl said.

"Yeah, I'm happy. I'm just not blind. You got to say who you are, not who you were. Places like this, you have to put it away."

"What if ya cain't?" Daryl asked her.

"You have to. Or it kills you. Here." She put her hand over her heart.

I thought about what she just said. It's so easy to do the wrong thing, then you get tough and you feel nothing. "You're right." I said.

The three of us were quiet for a minute.

"We should go inside." Daryl said.

"We should burn it down." Beth said.

What? Is she crazy? Actually…that sounds like fun.

Daryl stood up and starting walking inside. He stopped in the doorway. "We're gonna need more booze."

He's really going along with it? Beth looked at me with an excited look on her face. I forced a smile. I was still mad about earlier, but I wasn't about to take it out on her. As I said before, she didn't do anything.

I watched the two of them pour the moonshine all over the house. Daryl handed me a jar. I just dropped it on the floor and let it shatter. That will be fine.

We stood outside in the yard.

"You wanna?" Daryl handed Beth the matches.

"Hell, yeah." She lit the match then caught a stack of dollar bills that Daryl must have taken from that golf place on fire.

"You wanna throw it, Abby?" He asked me.

"No, thanks." I said roughly and turned away.

Daryl threw it on the porch and we watched the house light up. We had to leave shortly after because the dead were coming through.

So, the three of us walked off into the woods together, even though we weren't together. I wish I was in better spirits, but I just can't get what Daryl said to me out of my head. I wonder how long I will have this chip on my shoulder? Maybe I'll be the new Daryl? I silently laughed. Oh well, at least I'm not in the middle anymore.

Merry Christmas everyone!