Chapter Eight
CN mentions of abuse.
Apologies for the wait! I didn't have my laptop with me over Christmas and New Year, and I had exams in December and then again in January - and I've also had the odd holiday, again without a laptop. The words just don't come as easily to me on a phone keyboard. Plus this was a tricky chapter to write. I've been doing this in an odd order. There's a relatively late-on chapter that I've had fully written for months now, but this one just kept sticking. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! As ever, please let me know (even if it's just about typos or continuity errors... I should probably get an editor!).
Severus ground his teeth together. They'd been sat here for far too long, in his opinion. Albus had repeated his explanation of the Horcruxes with appropriate exclamations and interjections from Alastor and Minerva, and occasionally Lupin, who seemed somewhat recovered and more alert than before. The other occupant of the room, Unspeakable Croaker, had been silent throughout. Severus had never even heard of the man, which unnerved him, but he had taken an unbreakable vow of discretion and support. Also, Lupin had insisted on sending the owl and Albus had subsequenly invited him. Unspeakables, Severus thought sarcastically, could probably get around unbreakable vows, but if that were the case then the Dark Lord was unaware of the fact, so this Unspeakable was probably not a Death Eater.
"Why did you not tell us this sooner Albus?" said Minerva. "I appreciate that the matter must be kept secret from the Death Eaters, but from us? There was one in the castle! Two, if you count the diary some years ago! We were lucky nobody died!"
The same arguments had been going around the room over and over again. Why had Albus not shared his information sooner? What were they going to do? What was the Order's role to be? They were getting nowhere. He'd have blamed the discord on the Horcrux itself if Alastor, in a fit of temper, hadn't cast fiendfyre at it as soon as Albus had disclosed the item's nature. It had let out an unearthly scream that had seemed to burn Severus' dark mark diredtly. There table, Severus suspected, would never recover.
Moody banged his fist on the table and the room fell silent. "Potter is outside" he grunted "with two of his friends. They've got a pretty impressive invisibility cloak over them."
Albus flicked his wand at the door and it opened, revealing a flustered Granger, knuckles poised to knock, and Weasley stuffing a piece of parchment into his pocket. How that map hadn't been confiscated when Crouch got hold of it Severus didn't know. They were incredibly lucky that Crouch had not absconded that night and allowed the Dark Lord to get hold of it.
"Oh!" Granger said. "We were just about to knock." Severus rolled his eyes. Why state something so obvious?
The headmaster was more polite.
"Please join us." he said courteously.
The children entered the room and Severus was surprised at their configuration. Weasley was in front, looking defiant, with Granger behind biting her lip nervously and Potter at the back, sullen and pale against the doorframe. Usually Potter and Weasley would have been in front, their hot tempers somewhat counterbalanced by the overly verbose girl, but today Potter seemed to be taking a backseat.
"What brings you here tonight Miss Granger?"
"Professor Dumbleore we-"
"We want to know the plan." interrupted Weasley.
There was silence in the room.
"The plan?" asked Albus politely.
"Yes." said Weasley. "Harry needs a power that the Dark Lord Knows Not. So what is it? What's the plan to kill Voldemort?"
Severus saw Albus flinch, but the room remained silent. From the corner of his eye he noted that Minerva and Lupin looked equally confused as he. He suspected that only Albus truly understood what was going on and, from the speculative look on the Unspeakable's face, it occured to him that Albus might have told the boy the whole prophecy. That certainly sounded like a quote, though Severus himself had never heard the entirity. How very stupid of the headmaster.
Eventually, the headmaster spoke. "I had planned to give Harry extra lessons this year." Severus raised an eyebrow. Albus had not discussed these with him. "I had also engaged, as you might have noticed, to have duelling and defence properly instructed once more."
Severus could read Weasley's emotions in his eyes and found them surprisingly similar to his own. Dumbledore arranged the duelling tuition? That was a by-product of the ministry's disgrace in relation to Umbridge, and the boy seemed to have understood this. That was certainly interesting.
"Extra lessons on what?" asked Granger. She sounded eager.
"That will be between myself and the recipient of the lessons."
"What else is the Order doing?" asked Weasley. "What's the overall plan?"
"That is only for adult members of the Order, as well you know." said Minerva tartly, but it seemed that Weasley had reached the end of his temper.
"That's not good enough!" he roared.
"Enough!" said Minerva, and Severus shot her an approving look, but the boy wasn't through.
"You were going to tell Harry that you were giving him private lessons? Why not tell him sooner? Is it in case he'd tell me and I'd owl send Pig to the Dark-bloody-Lord and then he'd know about the powers and your stupid prophecy would be invalid?"
There wasn't time for Severus to try to decipher why the boy might be attempting to send a farm animal to the Dark Lord, as Weasley was nowhere close to being finished.
"Think about how Harry feels!"
Potter tried to interrupt. "Ron - no!"
" Sirius dies, you tell him he's got to defeat Voldemort, and then you send him to stay with his bloody aunt and uncle for the entire summer! He had bars on his room when he was twelve!" Severus hadn't known that particular titbit. "Nobody listened to what Harry needed - what we needed - last year either." Ron continued furiously. "We needed Defence training! We needed to know what the Order was up to. Harry needed to know why occlumency was so important, rather than letting him think that it would give him clues about who was in danger. And instead you let Umbridge tell him he was a liar over and over again! And nobody's even talked to Harry about that yet. He was in detention forever! If he were any normal student you'd all have intervined years ago, but now you're saying he's just a normal teenager and doesn't get a say!"
He had grabbed Potter's hand and held it up, and with a swooping feeling in his stomach Severus realised that Minerva would not have had a chance to speak to the boy yet. Potter pulled away, clearly furious with his friend, but before he could interrupt, a silver patronus - some kind of bird, flew into the room, crash-landing on the table in front of Minerva.
She stood immediately, wand out. Severus didn't recognise the bird but Albus and Alastor clearly did, and were almost as quick on their feet as Minerva. Her face was white, and she fumbled with a hairpin. Severus recognised the incantation for a portkey, though he'd never mastered the spell.
"Headmaster." Severus was on his feet, wand out.
"Stay, Severus . And you too, Remus. Stay, Harry!." The werewolf reluctantly sat back down, and Severus did too, understanding if not enjoying the logic. He was a spy and the wolf was still weak. The Unspeakable joined Minerva and wordlessly pressed his wand to the hairpin, which glowed blue for a moment. Minerva nodded in thanks as the adults, save for himself and Remus, gathered, and there was a flash of light. They disappeared in a swirl of colour, and the room was suddenly still and silent.
"What was that?" said Potter. His voice, too loud, echoed oddly around the stone room, and Severus realised that all three students were still stood up.
"Sit down." said Severus shortly. He had no idea where his colleagues had gone, and had absolutely no desire to divulge that fact. He could tell by the tension in Lupin's eyes , so much more than had been present the moment before, that he was likewise unhappy. His voice though, when he spoke, did not betray his frustration.
"I'm sorry for not saying hello already." said Lupin. "I've spent some time in the hospital wing already this term."
Potter looked up, then glanced at the window.
Lupin shook his head. "It was not that, though I will ask that you do not enquire as to my accident."
The children, though curious, reluctantly nodded.
"I suggest that you two leave." said Lupin to Granger and Weasley. "I wish to have a private conversation with Severus and Harry." His eyes met Weasley's and then Weasley nodded shortly.
Potter still didn't appear to be looking at his friends.
"Sorry for shouting mate." said Weasley. "I thought someone else should take over, your voice might crack." he was clearly trying to joke but Potter refused to laugh.
"Talk to them, Harry!" urged Granger. The pair of them left the room, Granger shutting the door carefully behind her. Severus could hear them start to bicker as soon as they'd left the room, and Lupin started to set up some silencing and privacy charms, clearly trying to make the boy feel at ease by explaining them to him in some detail. When the boy seemed sufficiently relaxed, notwithstanding his frequent glares toward Severus, he began.
"I think the best way into this, Mr Potter, is to discuss your detentions with Madame Umbridge last year." said Severus silkily.
Potter looked uneasily at Remus.
"We are both aware - belatedly I might add - of what you and others were subjected to." he told the boy quietly. "Minerva would have already discussed the situation with you either before term started, had we been able to visit, or since the beginning of term, had extenuating circumstances not prevented her."
Potter frowned.
"It means we were unaware at the time." said Remus reassuringly. "I can promise you that no other adult knew of the severity of the detentions."
Severus rolled his eyes, though it seemed that the boy had needed the vocabulary primer because he followed Lupin's explanation with a nod.
"I must start by asking that you drink this." said Snape. He pushed the vial of potion toward the child, who looked at it suspiciously. "I imagine that Mister Weasley and Ms Granger have already explained the compulsion charm to you." he said. "This will lift it."
Potter looked to Remus and, at his nod, removed the stopper and drank the potion. Severus waited for him to swallow.
"May I see your hand Potter?" he asked.
"Why?" he said defensively. "It's over. What can you do?"
He narrowed his eyes. "I suppose that this might be a good segue into the other appalling adults in your life that we need to discuss."
"Which appalling adults in particular Sir?"
Severus was on his feet in an instant, but Lupin stood too, speaking quietly.
"Harry is likely to try to make you angry as a distraction Severus."
Severus considered this for a moment, then sat slowly. It rankled to have the wolf point this out, but in this instance he supposed that the other was likely to be correct. He pulled his emotions back behind his occlumency shields, and faced Potter once more, who was shooting a betrayed look at Lupin.
"I was speaking before your inadvisable interruption about your relatives." said Severus. He noted how the boy seemed to shut down slightly at the mention of them, shrinking back into his seat, though his colour, interestingly, barely changed.
"What about them?" he asked sullenly.
"It seems that you might have kept quiet about the detentions last year - at least your own - without the compulsion charm." said Severus. "You certainly seem reluctant to discuss them now, despite the likely relief of the charm's removal. Why is that?"
"I thought we were talking about my aunt and uncle?" Potter sounded suspicious.
"We are." said Severus. Lupin appeared to be letting him have a back-seat, which was interesting. He'd have thought that Lupin would want as much involvement as possible in such a sensitive discussion. He continued talking to the boy. "It seems to me that although you are perfectly happy to have the whole school lapping at your heels for something as idiotic as Quidditch, you would have been happy to let serious abuse go unchallenged for fear of making a fuss."
He steepled his fingers. "I would hypothesise that, were Mr Weasley's rather loud comments accurate, you would be hesitant to confirm that to us."
The boy suddenly looked panicked. "They're not true though! They don't hurt me or anything, not really, and I've got a bedroom and everything!"
"Why on earth would you not have a bedroom?"
The boy's mouth closed in a thin line. Severus filed the comment for further review.
"There is more than one type of abuse, Harry." said Lupin gently. "And I don't actually believe that they don't hurt you. Why else would you be wearing a glamour?"
Severus' eyebrows shot up. On close inspection he realised that the wolf was right. The boy looked almost unusually healthy.
"A glamour, Potter?" He sneered. "And you say that they don't hurt you? That you would be prepared to ask for help?"
Potter flinched backward, glaring once more at his father's friend.
"It's nothing. I've got acne!"
"Be that as it may." said Severus. He raised his wand and removed the glamour, lips thinning as he took in the boy's appearance. He heard Lupin growl softly.
Potter had gone from a healthy teenager to an almost emaciated child before his eyes. To be sure, he wasn't quite on the verge of collapse, but he was at least severely malnourished. He was also covered in bruises.
"Explain."
Potter looked sullenly down, his hands crossed defensively across his skinny chest. Remus took over.
"Please explain the food that you would typically receive each day in the summer, Harry."
He looked up. "I'd get the leftovers if I finished my chores." his voice sounded resigned. "I wasn't really hungry anyway Remus. Not after..."
Remus nodded. "And what were your chores?"
"Same as normal I guess. Cleaning, cooking, gardening..."
Remus nodded again. "I see. Quite a lot of chores?"
"Yeah I suppose."
"And what about the bruises?"
Potter flinched.
"That was just this summer." he said. "It was mostly my cousin - you know, kids messing about."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "I was not aware that Petunia had any children other than the one closest in age to yourself."
Potter looked confused. "Who- Dudley? No, that's the one."
"You and your cousin are teenagers, Mr Potter. You are sixteen years old. Do you and your dorm-mates receive such injuries when you are 'messing about'?"
Potter frowned. "Dudley's different."
"Did they all come from your cousin?" asked Remus calmly.
Potter glanced up. "Yes."
"Don't lie to me Potter."
The boy flinched. "Fine. No."
"Who else?" Severus ground out.
"My uncle tripped me down the stairs once. My aunt shut a door on my hand. That kind of thing." He looked up quickly. "They weren't always this bad. I was just in a really bad mood, you know, at the start of the summer." he swallowed. "And last year the Dementors came and that scared them. They don't want me there and they don't know how to show it."
Severus was incensed. The boy was defending the Dursleys?
"It sounds like your aunt and uncle are scared of magic." said Lupin.
"Yeah they are." said Potter fervently. "They always have been. And honestly it doesn't matter, I don't have to go for long next year and then I can leave for good."
"Next year?" said Severus, his voice tight. "Why on earth would you return to them?"
Potter looked at him quizzically. "I have to, you know, for my mother's protection. Something about her blood living in the same house means Voldemort can't get at me."
"Who told you that?"
"D- Professor Dumbledore, sir."
"And did Professor Dumbledore know how you were treated?"
"He knew I didn't want to go back." said Potter sullenly. "And he's got Mrs Figg and a bunch of the Order watching the house, like last summer I bet. He knows everything he wants to know."
Severus ground his teeth. Unfortunately the boy was probably right about the Headmaster, though he doubted that the Order - or even the headmaster - had been aware of the escalation this past summer.
"You will not be returning there." he said. Lupin nodded stiffly and Severus realised that his arms were clenched tightly on the chair, the nails making grooves in the wood.
"But the protection-!"
"Your mother did not intend this!" spat out Severus. He could picture Lily now, her red hair falling over the face of herself and her child. She'd sent him a picture of the two of them when her child was almost one. He hadn't looked like James Potter at that point, but he'd already had her eyes. Her love shone through the photo and the child smiled up at her.
"She'd be furious." he said quietly. "This is the woman who found a way to shield her son against the killing curse. Do you really think she would not find an alternative to your current situation?"
"But Professor Dumble-"
"You will notice." said Severus silkily "that there are a number of places where you have not been abused. Professor Dumbledore, once he has been fully appraised of the situation, will appreciate that the training and lessons discussed earlier had best continue during the holidays, perhaps at the home of a trusted Order member."
"This does bring us back though Harry" said Lupin "to the fact that Hogwarts has not protected you from abuse either. Please would you show us your hand?"
Potter held out his hand stiffly, looking away. He looked as though he were still trying to process what Severus had just announced.
The scars on the boy's hand were not the red of his scar, but had faded to white. They were nevertheless clearly visible in the candlelight.
I must not tell lies.
Severus thought back to the pile of parchment in Potter's name and felt bile rise in his throat. He itched absent-mindedly at his own hand. He reached out and took the palm between his fingers, running a tip over the scar delicately and ignoring the boy's attempt to pull away.
"I am unlikely to be able to prevent or mitigate this scarring." he said. "It was done with malicious intent and has lain too long."
Potter shrugged uncomfortably, pulling the arm back. "Nobody really notices anyway."
That, Severus suspected, had been the problem all along. He knew that his own prejudices toward the boy had likely contributed to his negligence in failing to notice the abuse, but he had not been the only person to overlook it. He thought back to Weasley's words and rather thought that the boy had hit the nail on the head. Nobody expected ordinary with Potter, so nobody truly appreciated the extraordinary.
"We have noticed now." said Severus. He shifted in his seat and looked straight at the boy, feeling rather like he was apologising to Lily. How many times had he failed her? How many apologies did he have to make?
"It is our duty - my duty, Potter - to keep you safe. It is the duty of adults to notice and prevent abuse, not yours to alert us to it." he said. The green eyes were wide. "I failed to do that and, on behalf of Hogwarts and myself, I apologise for that. Dolores Umbridge's actions were unforgivable. We are doing our best to stop it from happening again. We also owed a duty of care in relation to your home situation, and I apologise unreservedly for our failure to rectify that also."
"I - um, okay." said Potter. He looked rather flushed, as, Severus noted, did Lupin. He sighed, and picked up the floo powder on the mantelpiece.
"I suggest we adjourn to the hospital wing." he said. Potter looked about to object. "You will need your bruises healed, Potter, and Mister Lupin does not appear to be fully recovered from his own ordeal."
Lupin glared at Severus, and he imagined that the wolf would likely have objected if Harry hadn't nodded in acquiescence, looking worriedly at his new Head of House.
"Potter." All three stopped and the other two turned to look at Severus, poised though they were by the fireplace. "We will need to discuss your situation with some of the staff - notably those who were here earlier tonight and Madame Pomfrey - but rest assured your secrets will not be otherwise divulged, other than in the most dire necessity."
Potter flushed slightly. "Thanks." Severus gave him a long, assessing look.
"You don't trust me."
Potter frowned. "You told everyone about Remus in third year."
Severus felt his neck warm and turned to the wolf, teeth gritted. "I apologise for my indiscretion, although I felt that my disclosure was in the public interest, given that you had just literally chased several students through the forest."
Remus bowed his head. "Quite understandable."
Severus turned back to Potter. "I suppose that trust would be asking too much, and understandably so given that I am a Death Eater, however I would like you to trust me on this point specifically. What you have confided here will remain confidential, subject to the provisions above. The abuse should not have been allowed to take place, and I swear to you that the remainder of the staff, with the possible exception of Argus Filch, had no knowledge of it. We let you down, Potter, as well as lots of other students, and we are trying to rectify that. Do you understand?"
The boy searched his eyes and Severus tried to project his intentions, allowing his Occlumency shields a rare break. After a long moment the boy nodded, turned, and stepped into the fire, followed quickly by Lupin. Severus was left alone, contemplating quite how easy that promise had been to make.