Chapter 4
So yeah, it's crazy. It's ben about two years since I posted but I have been slowly working on this chapter since the beginning of school so I hope it's a good one.

Also I made a mistake. Crabbe is dead and so I'm switching him with a made up character. Stephan Welsh. Sorry Crabbe!

It's time for the second session with Daisy. They all had group sessions every two weeks. Hermione just shoved her headphones further into her ears. Ever since Dumbledore had died someone else had been doing to spells for the castle and those were much more breakable. Especially with the stone wall between her and the boys she needed something to keep her going. Baby take my hand... don't fear the reaper We'll be able to fly... don't fear the reaper Baby I'm your man... Something about the way that song sounded... It felt like listening to that song glued a tiny part of her soul back together.
Hermione opened her eyes to face to maroon bed sheets that were currently on top of her face. She sighed... God it's another day...Her hands were laying on her small pooch on her stomach. It wasn't much but it used to be larger. Dominic used to say that it was her central warming unit. She knew that she was looking back with rose-colored glasses but they really did have a good relationship. There was enough of an age difference that they didn't fight all the time but enough to keep things healthy.
She ran her hands over her protruding hip bones. I need to put my clothes on. I really don't want to do this again. Hermione tried smiling. In her own hazy world, she was mostly okay. Her feelings didn't suffocate her.
All of the sudden she had a sudden urge for a bagel. A toasted bagel with cream cheese... at the moment she thought that if she could eat that warm gooey yummy circle of carbs and fat she would be happy again. Soon she found herself with her favorite pair of jeans on a red, fuzzy short sleeved shirt on. Feeling particularly muggle today she ditched her school robe as some people did in the morning. She would have time after her breakfast to come and get her stuff. Walking down the halls she was enjoying the feeling of lightness. Without her heavy bags throwing her back out of alignment, she felt twenty pounds lighter. She was practically skipping down the halls with happiness. Like she was happy and beautiful and healthy. Wow I can do this. I can make this work. I can get top marks in school, I can make new friends, and eventually make up with Ron and Harry. We're better than this and it won't last forever.
Subtly she changed her song to 1985 by Bowling For Soup. It was such a fun song, despite the lyrics, that she just smiled at the familiar sound. She couldn't contain her happiness. Wiggling her hips and shaking her head a little. Her soul burst with sunshine. Walking through the doors she felt like was the sun itself. Before dealing with where she was going to sit for her short meal, she had to walk past the Slytherins. She held her breathe. Please don't ruin this for me... it'll last for five more minutes please let me enjoy them.
"Hey Granger" Pansy's voice was loud enough to beat the music in her hears. Out of reflex, she turned her head towards the snobby little brat.
"I'm surprised that you came back in here after your fight with your boyfriend. You know, I think Filch and Ms. Norris have an extra seat if you need it." She cackled along with her friends in the high yippy way you would expect from a Chihuahua.
She glanced around at all the Slytherins that were staring at her. One of the faces stood out. Draco's eyes flashed towards her, catching the light, for a brief second. He looked when he was going to open his mouth but she didn't need back up.
"At least they would be better company than you." With that her good mood disappeared. Turning around she stormed out of there, her wavy hair snapping around her face like angry snakes.

Everyone filed into Classroom 445 where Daisy was already waiting for them. Left foot. Right foot. Pain. After breakfast everything had gone downhill. Her first class was Potions with the Hufflepuffs. Snape was just degrading as ever and she overheard Ron and Harry spend all class period talking about which girls they should ask out for the Hogsmead weekend. All of this came crashing down and she had another panic attack. She left History of Magic to breathe. She remembered dashing through the hallways running with her adrenaline. There was no way that she could keep breathing if something didn't change. What was with today? Did everything just decide to explode all at once? She went to the abandoned bathroom and pulled out her knife. No feelings anymore. Nothing to stop her. She had dropped her pants and imbedded the knife three quick times across her skin.
"Great! Now that we are all seated, let's start." Today Daisy donned a pastel green blouse with brown slacks and a soft blue robe. A material representation of the earth. "Miss Granger go ahead and take a seat."
"Right." Oh this is going to hurt. 'Why are you throwing yourself a pity party? You deserve this.' Somewhere deep in her mind a bitter voice said. The cuts were deep enough to hurt and high enough up her leg that sitting Indian-style on the floor was painful.
"How is everyone doing today? Anything to mention?" Daisy prodded. The awkward silence resumed. "Ok. Well today I want to talk about habits. Does anyone have any good or bad habits?" Cho Chang piped up that when she was little she used to chew her hair. No one said anything after that.
"Alright. We're a little shy today. Let go around the circle and each say one. Cho Chang already went so lets start with her and go around. Draco it's your turn."
"Well..." He stalled not knowing what to say. "I used to climb trees."
Everyone went around and then it came to Hermione. She transitioned into the new character that she was in these meetings. "Haha well I used to dance around the room and pretend I was a ballerina." She raised her voice a little to match her preppy charade.
"Well you are the end of the circle so why don't we use you as an example." Yup, this is how is begins. "Why did you end this habit?" Daisy's sweet smile was sickly so.
"Because I grew up."

"You ready for the match?" Pavarti asked Hermione as she was applying her make up. Hermione suddenly missed the way that Lavender and Pavarti would flutter around the room. However when Lavender was alive Hermione just looked forward to the moments right after the girls left. That still silence. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
"Yeah, I'm gonna go. What about you?"
"Yeah. I'm going." As Pavarti looked down, Hermione's heart clenched; aching for her friend. "There isn't anything else to do. I also know enough about Quidditch to like it." Hermione gave a small laugh, and they fell into silence till the other girl left.
Hermione sighed. This feeling was crushing. She sighed again. She strained her arm far enough to grab her favorite quill that was resting on a pile of books at the foot of her bed next to her personal notebook. Starting on the poem, she wrote feverishly till with a large breathe she was finished. Another dark poem had slipped from her head onto the paper. When she looked back on what she had written it surprised her. It didn't at all convey how she felt inside. In a flash of anger, she ripped the page out of the book and shredded it. Once the anger left her, Hermione summoned the picture she had of her and Dominic. He was one of those beautiful mutations that had brown hair and blue eyes. His six year old face was round with wind-nipped pink cheeks. This was her favorite picture from that photo shoot because of what she had done right before the photo was taken.

"It's cold Mommy." Dominic whined.
"I know baby but Mommy really wants these pictures okay? Grandma has been pestering me for weeks that she wants a 'good picture of her grandbabies to frame. Not like the ones from last Christmas.'" You could tell she was frustrated with her mother-in-law because her imitation landed on the derogatory side. "When we get home I'll get the nanny to make you some hot chocolate, how about that?" She promised. The little boy nodded his head with the thought of that chocolately goodness.
"I'm still cold though." He grumbled dishearteningly.
"I can help with that." Hermione piped up. She pounced on him, tickling the ever living daylights out of him. His bubbly golden laughter, shrieking really, swam through the trees sending the birds fluttering away grumpily. Hermione swore she saw some of them turn their heads back at the pair and send a disapproving look not unlike Professor McGonagall's.
They were at the neighborhood park for Christmas photos. Their uncle, the family photographer, was visiting for the holidays, and Deborah Granger was not going to let an opportunity like that slip through her fingers. The group had already suffered the cold for about 45 minutes; they just had the kids left.
"Oh 'mione stop! I can't breathe." She released him from her clutches. He quickly scrambled up the rock that they had been positioned on, and jumped like a monkey onto her back. While he clung to her neck, she slid her arms under his knees to make sure he didn't fall off.
"Oh you really got me now." She smirked sarcastically. Looking up at him, she grinned. Once the photos were developed and delivered, she discovered that one and immediately fell in love with it.

Snapping back to the present, Hermione ran her thumb over the still photo, aching to hug her precious best friend.
Sigh.
The match starts in five minutes. I better leave now.
She found herself thinking about one of the times that her and Dominic had fought. It was over something really stupid. She felt awful about yelling at him so she built him a blanket fort, something he was always begging to do, and they had a Disney Movie Marathon. That's how she found herself running right into someone. The person had stopped in the middle of the walk way! Since she was walking on the left-hand side, she ran into him with the right half of her body.
The boy whipped around at the impact to see Hermione wince while clutching her hip. Draco's gray-blue eyes studied her actions. Hermione noticed this, so trying to overcome the pain of her scabs reopening and grunted, "Wow you're really boney. You should gain some weight." With her distraction, she forgot to be cold to him. He paused for a moment, waiting for her to look at him, "I could say the same for you." In a flash her eyes met his. She broke this connection. "I'm fine... Really. I'm fine."
"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" Limping past him, she tried to shake off the anxious feeling that just washed over her.
The sound of a lion roar welcomed her as she approached the Quidditch field. Apparently the Gryffindors had scored because that was Luna's hat going off. It surprised her that she could hear it over the crowd, but she probably magnified the sound. Hermione shoved her way through the sea of red and gold clad students in Gryffindor fan section.
A long, painful hour later, Hermione was watching the game through her fingers. Ravenclaws were ahead by twenty points. The bookworms in that team really helped in these situations because of their killer strategies. Usually the Gryffindors just used speed and legal brute force; however, Hermione knew that Harry and Ron had a plan for this kind of play. According to them, the Irish Bagpipe Banshees' seeker Harry Dunham had done something with the goal keeper and the snitch once. And sure enough, a few minutes later something with the goal keeper and the snitch happened. Thinking about how long ago that conversation was hurt her. It had been weeks since she had made any kind of contact with her two boys. With that move the Gryffindors won the game. Another roar burst through the screams and cheers. Soon the thundering of running students overpowered the cries of jubilation. Hermione held back though, the warm flame of unity eased her heart enough to make a smile flicker across her face. She almost tried to tell Ron and Harry that she was going back up to the castle but then she remembered that they were in a kind of purgatory with their relationship.
"You heading back up, Hermione?"
"Hey Neville, yeah. I'm going back up. What did you think of the game?"
"Oh it was brilliant. Perfect weather too. I don't know who had more fun, the team or the fans." She chuckled with him. They walked together in silence for a little.
"Hey you going to the party?"
"Oh is the team throwing a victory party?"
"Yup. It's in the Room of Requirement. Everyone is invited. I think even the Ravenclaws are coming."
"Haha wow. That really shows how things have changed." Suddenly they were reminded of the war. Being away from the noise had brought a new meaning to quiet. As the two of them walked together, she felt a moment of acceptance. Maybe everything will be okay.

BANG.
Draco stopped in his tracks. It was after curfew so obviously he didn't want to be caught out. If he didn't tow the line this year he would be kicked out for sure. McGonagall had pushed for his return this year but Draco knew she had to convince the school board to allow his return. So he was trying. Really trying. Partly because he didn't want to make McGonagall a liar, but he also wanted to prove something to himself. In a full circle he was back to the panic at being discovered. The person around the corner was laughed. Not a true I-think-something-is-funny but more like a maniac kind of unhappy laughter.
Like a child eavesdropping, he peered around the corner. He wasn't sure what he had expected but it certainly wasn't Hermione Granger. Especially not with a bottle of Bubbly WitchWine almost sloshing onto her muggle party dress.
"Your behavior is an abomination to the virtuous female gender, young lady. I insist that you retreat back to your chambers and study your Bible." Berated the late 1800's Barron's Wife portrait.
"I dare say I shall not Beatrice. I don't care much for your rebukes. Don't be a twat."
Before he could stop himself, Draco was laughing. He had never heard that kind of language come from this previously thought pompous girl. Hermione whipped around in what she thought was a quick manner but in actuality was clumsy and awkward.
"What do you want, Slytherin?" There was a bite in her tone that stung him.
"I thought we were past this." She took a chug of her bottle and slumped to the floor instead of replying. Draco examined her current physical state. He was intrigued by the party dress. The testosterone in him flared up at the sight of her in such a provocative gown. The dress was a fierce strawberry red with lace and shiny stuff on it. As anyone could imagine, that wasn't what interested him, it was the suggestive neckline and the view of her long legs. His eyes traveled all the way down to her feet.
"Granger?" She rolled her head to the side letting that brown curtain of hair unveil her face. Her large doe eyes looked sorrowful under the dullness.
"Where are your shoes?" She pointed at the end of the hall. Feeling it was his responsibility to take care of the intoxicated prefect, he went in search for them. A reflection alerted him to where her obnoxious stilettos were. What would possess her, or anyone, to where these? But then the image of the last Slytherin party flashed in his mind. Let's just say that his appreciation for the way they could shape legs was vast.
He slid down across from her. Sitting next to her was a position for friends, he didn't pretend he had that right. However, he would stay for at least awhile to enjoying the images of a hardass breaking the rules. He wished his curiosity for what caused her to break the rules came from a concerned part of him, but he was really just curious. He figured that Hermione was a lite weight due to her lack of exposure to alcohol considering that WitchWine had a fairly low alcohol content. Draco watched her take another glug. Should I be stopping her?

"You know when you know something, a fact, but your brain doesn't want to accept it, so it spins the truth around with lies and the you don't know if something is real or not. Like trying to remember if something actually happened or if you dreamt it."

If he had been looking at her instead of the English women's surly expression, he would have seen a tear quickly run down her face, leaving an invisible path on her porcelain face.

"Malfoy. No. Draco. I like Draco, it's a name that holds a meaning. It's strong. Draco. The number of this month, day… The number of the day, what is it?" That struck him as an odd question but he decided to play along.

"It's November 20th."

In a hazy daze she mumbled. " Twenty… Twenty… November the twentieth." Like a switch flipping she was alive again. Angry.

"No it's not. You're lying. Stop lying Draco. It's not an attractive quality in a person."

"What does it matter what day it is?"

"Don't you know? How could you not know? Is this not important to anyone?" Hermione's voice was rising in volume. "I don't care how you do it, just make time in your day! Why is dying the only thing that gets your attention!"

Replenishing her bottle and barely securing her shoes on her feet she somehow got her feet under her and walked off. Draco sat there for a minute contemplating his difficult decision. To follow her or to not follow her was the question. He had this feeling in his gut that wasn't going to let her wander around the castle in this condition.

Hey let me know what you guys think. Again, sorry for the delay.