After my consultations for the day, I got in my Ferrari and rushed back to my old house. I was still in New York even after all this time, since I really didn't have a reason to leave it. Plus, even though I'm not fond of my family, I still wanted to be nearby. The loyalty in me is not something that I gained from my own family, apparently…

I got to the gate and it opened without prompt. I rode through and parked beside a nice Lexus and the old Addams' Model T. I got out and ran up to the door, pounding on it furiously. It opened slowly and I almost fell in. Lurch made a noise and I smiled.

"Hey, Lurch. Long time, no see…" He smiled and gave a nod. "Where's my sister?" He thought for a moment and pointed down. "The basement?" He nodded with a grunt. "Great, thanks. I'll go in the back way."

He nodded and I descended the stairs to go around the back of the house and find the basement window to go in through. I finally found it and made a face at the dirt and grime on it. I rolled up my sleeves and tried to make myself a little more comfortable to try and climb into the basement. I wiggled in and landed on a crate of some sort. I never really went in here so I didn't know what the heck I would find.

To my surprise, when I turned, I found Wednesday staring at me from one of the crates.

"Glad you could join us." She said.

"Where's Lucas?"

She pointed to the left with a horse crop and I frowned.

"Did you use that on him?"

"Unfortunately not yet." She said with an annoyed expression. "Shame. I liked the way he screamed."

I moved my mouth to the side and followed her directions to Lucas. I found him with his hands bound above his head hooked to a hook and his shirt was off. His head was laying on his shoulder in a heavy drunken fashion. I thought about what might wake him up and put all my strength into my arm as I slapped his face. He just seemed more uncomfortable.

"Don't bother. He won't wake up until tomorrow… or maybe the next day. If he dies, bring him here and we'll call forth his spirit."

"We only need to call forth his spirit if we didn't know who killed him but if he dies, it's because of you."

Wednesday's eyes glittered. "My first kill…"

"This isn't a joke, Wednesday." I growled as I tried to figure out how to get my colleague off the hook, literally. "How do you get this off?!"

"You came to rescue your damsel in distress, so figure it out. Since you're here though, I'll let Father know you are back."

As I struggled with Lucas I turned to her.

"No. No, no, no, I don't want to talk to Dad."

"I'm quite sure if you went to the front door then Lurch or Thing has notified Father already. Also, your squiggly arms aren't strong enough to carry him out of the house without help."

"Then how'd you get him in?" I grunted, finally lifting Lucas from the hook.

"Lurch is good for something other than cleaning and manning the door." She said with a small smile.

"What about Joel?"

Wednesday glared at me and I suddenly felt the riding crop whack me in the back of the leg. I yelped and fell to one knee, Lucas practically on top of me.

"We broke up ages ago. If you were around, you'd know."

I gave my sister a dirty look. "As you usually so casually put it, dear sister, I wasn't wanted around. That being the case, why would I give two shits about your relationship?"

"It's in your nature as you are now. Would you like help with him?"

"Sure."

"Find someone else to help you."

Wednesday went up the stairs and I rolled my eyes at her. This is why I hated anything to do with my family.

I finally dragged Lucas up the stairs and was trying to haul ass to get out but I was stopped by Mom.

"Pubert?" I turned around and she smiled at me. "I wasn't aware you were here. If I had known I would have asked Grandmama to make something special for you."

"Uh, no I'm good without her cooking…"

"Were you playing Wake the Dead? In the middle of April?"

I looked at her funny and realized she was talking about Lucas.

"Oh, no. This is Lucas, my colleague at work. Wednesday got a hold of him."

"I see… Well, put him down and come and meet your uncle."

I rolled my eyes. "Mother, just because my long lost uncle has returned from a horrible marriage doesn't mean I'm going to 'change back into an Addams' or whatever curse you think I'm under."

"Pubert, there you are. I want you to meet your uncle." I heard Dad say from the hall.

I sighed and laid Lucas in the chair that was by the door and brushed myself off. I tsked at the dirt on my clothes and put a mental reminder to send these to the dry cleaners… I walked with Mother into the living room where Dad had his arm around a squat bald man who was dressed in… something. There were dark circles around his eyes, sunken in and wide, and looked nothing like I would have imagined my uncle to look like, compared to my father anyway. My father was always suave, svelte, and good looking with jet black hair and a black pencil thin mustache that seemed to never need a trimming and a love for my mother that was beyond overdramatic. My uncle seemed to be the complete opposite of Father and I made a face at that.

"Pubert, this is your Uncle Fester."

"Your name really is Fester?" I asked.

Uncle Fester nodded enthusiastically and I shook my head at his weirdness. I held out my hand though.

"Nice to meet you, Uncle Fester."

He grabbed my hand in both of his and shook vigorously. I suddenly felt like I was going to faint and my knees buckled. Dad caught me.

"Are you alright, son?" he asked, actually seeming concerned.

"I'm fine, just got dizzy all of a sudden." I stood up on my own. "I'm fine, don't worry."

"I can't believe you look like that." Fester said, looking me up and down. "I mean… the bright blue eyes, those golden locks… Are you sure this is your kid, Gomez?"

Dad nodded, closing his eyes in shame. I made a face at that.

"Yes, yes that is my son…"

"Okay, I'm leaving now. Glad to have you back, Uncle Fester, maybe we'll catch up or something. I have to get my colleague back to the city, so if you'll excuse me."

"I'll walk you to the door." Mom said.

She slunk her arm in mine and walked me to the door.

"Now that your uncle is back, your father will be in much higher spirits. You should come by every now and then."

"I think the distance makes good for us. No offense but I'm too different from you guys to really have enough in common for regular visits. I will have to come back tomorrow though since I'm going to have to take Lucas home with me. He'll have to come back and get his car."

I let go of Mom and grabbed Lucas, throwing his arm over my shoulder. Mom opened the door for me and I smiled at her.

"It was good to see you though. You look amazing, as always."

"Thank you, Pubert. Oh, and happy belated birthday." She said, holding out a small box to me. "From a mother to her son."

I took it and shoved it in my pocket.

"Thanks. I'll open it when I get home."

"Mind the absence of the stop sign. I know how you are about your brother's antics."

"Hey, where was Pugsley anyway?"

"Oh, he was taken to a mental facility a couple of weeks ago." Mom sighed in admiration. "Our first child to go to the mental hospital… It's a milestone for our generation."

"Uh, glad for him. Is he going to be able to get out or anything?"

"We're not sure. We will be talking with an attorney soon."

"What did he do?"

Mom clapped her fingertips together in glee. "He cast his first curse on a police officer and it worked. When it wore off, he took Pugsley and demanded he be put in the mental hospital."

"Wow… I'm just going to go. Nice to see everyone again, I think. I guess saying it was interesting to see everyone again would be the better term."

"Of course."

I dragged Lucas back to the car and drove home.

I threw Lucas on my couch and checked my email when I noticed I had a missed call from Melissa. I noticed she left a message and listened to it. She wanted to see me again and hoped she wasn't being too forward. I had kind of liked her, so I decided to call her back.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Melissa?"

"This is she?"

"This is Adam Bert, I missed your call earlier and got your message."

"Oh! Great… um… I don't usually do this but I really liked our first date and was wondering if maybe you would like to have second?"

"Sure, I'd love to. What would you like to do?"

"There's an art festival in Queens that I was wanting to go and take a look at. Are you into that sort of thing?"

"I like art, yeah. I also know a great place to eat over there."

"Great! It's on Saturday and starts at 12:00."

"I'll pick you up at 10:30 since it takes a bit to get to Queens from here."

"Awesome! I'm… I'm really looking forward to it."

"So am I. I was actually going to call you sooner but work and everything… but I'm glad you called. This will be fun."

"I think so too. See you Saturday."

I hung up and did a fist pump in triumph. I know Lucas said she was a bit clingy but he wasn't there for the first date. It went really well and I think she was just nervous just like I was. I think the second date will tell a little more about who she is than the first one. I sighed and went to take a shower.

so uncle fester finally comes home. things may not be as easy for pubert anymore. and i think as an addams, being admitted to the mental hospital would be the equivalent of college.