sorry that i haven't updated in a while. i've been going through some crappy jobs and a move. hopefully i will get back into the swing of things and update more often. just a reminder to everyone though, i have NOT seen the addams family play but the description of lucas pretty much says he's normal but okay with the addams stuff so this is my personal take on him. thank you.

I had a really bad dream and woke up from it sweating bullets. I looked around the room and put my hand to my heart. It was beating so fast I thought it was going to come straight out of my chest. I got up to go get some water from the kitchen. As I made it to the living room, I heard Lucas snoring on the couch and frowned at him as I drank my water. The man is like a freight train even when he was drugged. I hoped Wednesday was right and that the effects would wear off by tomorrow. I looked at the clock. I mean today. Ugh, this night/morning isn't going as planned at all. Not in the least bit. I've got indigestion like no one's business… My family stresses me out more than anyone I've ever known… I took the glass of water with me to my room and closed the door, trying to drown out Lucas' snoring.

When I woke up, I felt achy all over, like my body had just gone through a beat down. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. As I looked in the mirror, I noticed that a mustache was starting to show up on my upper lip and I grabbed my razor and shaving cream to get it off. I heard Lucas snork and stepped out to see if he was completely awake or not. He was looking around in confusion and then turned, seeing me.

"What the hell?"

"Morning, starshine."

"Where am I?"

"My apartment. Sleep good?"

"Yeah…" he said, rubbing his head. "I had the craziest dream. Your sister was shooting arrows at me with a crossbow and then I ended up in the house and then I think I passed out." He chuckled nervously. "I was dreaming, right?"

"If you were dreaming, my sister would have invited you in and made you tea made out of an herb people actually eat and drink. Sorry, but that was real."

"Wow… that's super intense… You think she'd have me over again?"

I stared at him as he smiled a little.

"Did you hit your head before you were drugged? Or did I accidentally do something when I was trying to get you down from that hook?" I thought to myself really.

"Hook?"

"Yeah. Wednesday had you tied up by your hands and hooked on a large hook. You're lucky I got there when I did or you'd have welts for days on your back… or body. Not sure if she was going for specifics or not…"

Speaking of which, I looked down at the back of my own legs and was met with a gnarly looking mark across my calves. God she's such a bitch…

"Whoa, wait, time out: your sister had me tied up and was about to hit me with something? Like what?"

"A riding crop I think."

Lucas jumped up and down making this weird noise like a tea kettle that was ready and I just stared at him.

"I was actually about to endure the punishments of a dominatrix and you took me from that?!" he asked, looking at me with a weird mixture of excitement and anger.

I sighed. "Let me finish shaving because I can't take you seriously with my face half full of shaving cream."

I went back into the bathroom and finished shaving and then hissed, nicking myself on the sensitive part of my neck. I touched the bleeding spot and then just stared at my blood for a second. For a split second, my eyesight went hazy and doubled but I shook my head and held onto the sink, suddenly feeling unbalanced. I looked in the mirror and saw where the cut had gone haywire with bleeding and again, I just stared at my reflection in the mirror.

"Hey, how did I- Whoa, you gonna do something about that cut, Sweeny Todd?"

"Huh?" I asked, looking at him in the mirror.

"You gonna just let that bleed out or something about it? You look like you're the ghost of a beheading victim."

I nodded and grabbed some toilet paper, wiping off the blood.

"Sorry, I was dazed for a minute. What were you asking me?"

"I was asking how I got here?"

"I went to go get your stupid ass and drove you back to my place."

Lucas' eyes brightened. "So that means I get to go back?"

I made a face at him. "Yeah?"

He pulled his arm back. "Score!"

I drove up to the mansion and up the driveway, parking my car next to Lucas'. He got out and looked around.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for your sister."

"Give it up, Luke. Just come to work."

He sighed but went to his car and started it up. I went to pull out but yelled, Uncle Fester right at my window looking in like a creeper. I rolled down the window as he stepped back a little.

"Jesus, Uncle Fester! What the hell's your problem?"

"I was coming to see what the inside of your type of car looks like. Fancy."

"'My type of car'?"

"Normal people."

I rolled my eyes. "I see you're on the same kick Dad is usually on… Look, I don't know what you thought you'd accomplish by coming back here, but I'm not going to magically start liking the macabre or eating cyanide or become an expert knife thrower. Why can't you just accept that I'm not going to be like you and will never be like you guys?"

Uncle Fester just stared at me with that weird ass grin of his.

"You're an Addams at heart, kiddo. Your insides don't forget that." I frowned at him as he saluted me. "See ya next time."

"Yeah…" I rolled up the window. "I really hope not."

I go to leave once more and turn to back out when I see Wednesday in the back of my car. I scream again and let my foot off the gas, having to slam on the brakes to keep me from zooming away.

"What the hell?!"

"Greetings."

"How the hell did you get in my car, Wednesday?!"

"While you were talking with Uncle Fester, of course."

"Of course." I mocked. "I just want to leave this crazy mansion and go back to my life. Why do you keep ruining it for me?"

"It makes me smile inside."

"I should have expected that answer… seriously though?"

"I heard what you said to Uncle Fester and you're wrong. You didn't end up this way right after he left; it took some months before it happened. The same can be said of his return. It won't happen immediately but I wouldn't think that you're going to stay the same."

"Look, I don't believe in curses or spells or whatever it is you people think this is. Ever think that maybe I just had some common sense and realized that you guys are nutsos? I mean, do you ever just stop and think how weird you guys are?"

"No, but I do think about how fun it was to play with you as a baby… I wish you would have at least hit the ground when we tried to see if you would bounce or the cannonball."

I blanched at her. "What?"

"Alas, Father caught you in the window but the hope was there."

"You're sick!"

"No, dear brother, it's you who is sick. You've been sick for a long, long time. I was never fond of you but with Pugsley gone for the time being, I'm growing bored of the house. If Joel were here, I could find something to do."

"Whatever happened between the two of you anyway?"

"He got sick too and seemed to realize that we were not as compatible as we had hoped. In other words, he was weak…"

"Uh, you didn't kill him, did you?"

"I didn't have the option." She said with an annoyed look.

"Look, I get you're bored but we've all been fine living a few good miles away from each other. I do my thing, you do… whatever you do. It's been great. But you're bleeding into my life now and I'm starting to get a little pissed off."

"Wouldn't want to anger you, now would we Dr. Addams."

"You know I changed my name."

Wednesday unfolded her legs and reached over, grabbing my face in her finely manicured hands.

"Let me let you in on a little secret, Pubert: you can change your name, you can move away, you can say whatever makes you feel like you're in control, but you're an Addams and you will always be an Addams." She ran her finger over the top of my lip. "Black will always be your color."

She got out and I shivered. God, she creeps me out.

I got to the hospital and was met by Lucas at the door.

"No." I said immediately.

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"Was it about my sister?"

"No." I stared at him. "Really, it isn't."

"What is it then?"

"One, you have a consultation in ten minutes; cutting it close there, bud. And two, you have another woman in your office."

"What the? Is it Wednesday again? I swear she pops up out of nowhere…"

"No, this is a blonde haired girl?"

I shrug, not sure what he's talking about as I head to my office. When I open the door, the blonde girl turns from one of the seats and I see that it's Melissa.

"Oh, Melissa…"

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait until Saturday to come and see you… I baked you a cake."

I looked at the box on my desk and smiled.

"Oh… thanks…"

I open up the box and see a decent looking cake there.

"It looks great, thank you."

"It's carrot cake… it was all I had at home. I know it's not the best of the flavors but I've been told my cooking is really good and I just wanted to make something for you so…"

"Great, I'll see about getting a slice after my consultation."

"Right… well… um, see you Saturday."

"Yeah, of course."

She left and I frowned at the cake on my desk. The door opened and Lucas walked in, looking at me look at the cake.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Melissa made it."

Lucas gaped at me. "What the- You asked her out for a second date, didn't you?"

"And if I did?"

"Ugh! What the hell did I tell you?! She's clingy! Cling-gy! Look at what she's done already!"

"It's a carrot cake, lighten up."

"She's already making baked goods for you after you've only had one date? That doesn't seem any type of suspicious to you?"

"She's overzealous."

"Or she's clingy! She's got desperate written all over her! How are you so blind to that, man?"

I sighed and moved the cake out of the way. Lucas sighed and leaned on the desk.

"Look, I'm telling you that it's a really bad idea to get with her. She will be like tape; you won't be able to get rid of her."

"Maybe she'll be a good sacrifice," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Lucas asked in confusion.

"I said, maybe she'd be a good sacrifice. The best ones are the ones that are so stupid they'll do anything for you."

Lucas stared at me for a second and I realized what I said. I laughed a little.

"I mean, if I was weird like that…"

Lucas just narrowed his eyes at me and pointed.

"Make sure you keep those weird ass comments to yourself during your consultation."

He left the room and I sighed, putting my hands over my face. What the heck was that thought? My sister is getting into my head…

what are these thoughts you got going on there pubert? and melissa is here to be clingy. that's going to be her job. and i made wednesday a little more on the cryptic side than usual but that was more for dramatic effect. should be back to normal soon. oh, and should i keep this all in puberts perspective or should i switch it up with wednesday or something?