A/N: Sorry, everyone! I definitely did not mean for this to be a 6-week update rather than a month, but things got quite busy again! Anyway, we'll call this a belated Valentine's Day present, especially due to the content at the beginning ;). So this chapter is back to a Mardin POV, as it flashes back and shows how he ended up in his predicament at the end of the last chapter. The beginning contains smut, so skip down to the first break if you don't want to read it. Everything after that is smut-free and entirely plot-related! We don't quite get to the start of Legacy by the end of this chapter, as there was a lot more than I thought to get through, but we will definitely be beginning that quest in the next chapter, which I hope to have up much sooner than this one was. Hope you all enjoy!
As always, thanks to have everyone who has favorited, followed, and read the story so far - I'm happy you're all enjoying it!
Extra special thanks to my always awesome reviewers, Alkeni, Lethal Dragon, LostSpace, Tactus501st, and WolFang1011. It always makes my day to hear from you guys!
PLEASE REVIEW EVERYBODY! THERE WILL BE A GIFT FIC TO THE 150TH REVIEWER!
As a side note, the gift fic for the 100th review as been posted as the third "chapter" to It Came As A Shock, so if anyone's interested, you should check that out!
This is a portion of a song that I feel is sort of the theme song of Brianna and Mardin's relationship:
Don't send me no angel
This city's too cold
Cause I need a man with a black heart of gold
Don't give me no lover
If he ain't got the stones
Cause I need a man who will fight for his own
I've seen dark nights
Whoa-oh dark nights
But only the darkest light can deliver my love
I couldn't not include it, it was just so perfect! The song is Dark Nights by Dorothy, and it inspired the title of the chapter as well. Enjoy, everyone!
Chapter 16: Dark Nights
"Do you think they know why we left so early?" Brianna asked, walking beside Mardin as they left the Hanged Man, heading for the mansion up in Hightown. Her face was flushed, and she looked embarrassed at the thought that their friends had guessed why they had slipped away from the Wicked Grace game so soon.
Mardin grinned. "I hope so."
"Mardin!" Brianna exclaimed, the flush on her face deepening, even as she bit her lip to stifle a smile.
"I was just joking," he replied mildly. Mostly. "But, yes, I imagine they guessed, given the way Varric was smirking. And that Fenris said he would be staying overnight there."
Besides, he'd not been exactly subtle with the way he'd been looking at Brianna throughout the game. Not that he could help it. He'd been unable to get her alone last night as she'd initially promised, since her mother had insisted she remain at home to celebrate the news of Carver's safety once they'd returned from the Wounded Coast. So tonight, when they'd met up at the Hanged Man and she'd promised him in a low voice that she did not have to spend tonight with her mother, he'd been unable to control his eagerness at the memory of what she'd previously promised. He'd spent the majority of the game watching her, and whispering to her now and again of what he was hoping to do later. Eventually, she'd stood up abruptly and declared she was leaving, asking Mardin if he would walk her home, which he'd been only too happy to agree to. He sincerely doubted that any of their friends would have been unable to figure out the reason for their hasty departure, not that he cared. He was simply grateful Isabela had still been away on her latest hunt for the relic, for he could only imagine what comment she would have had and how it might have affected Brianna's mood. As it was, though, Brianna seemed to be almost as eager as he was to head to the mansion where they could finally be alone.
Brianna sighed. "Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter. We wouldn't have been able to keep it secret for that long, anyway. Not with Varric and his spies around."
"No, I suppose not," Mardin agreed. He could feel, as he always did lately, the sensation of being followed and watched. The first few times he'd felt it after coming to Kirkwall, he'd quickly located the culprit with the use of his instincts, only to discover that it was one of Varric's spies that the dwarf refused to stop sending after him, which was why he'd taken to ignoring the sensation now. His instincts would let him know if something became truly dangerous. Right now, he had much better things to think about – such as his first time bedding Brianna. "I'm not worried about whether they know, anyway. Are you?"
She slanted a considering glance up at him, the blush slowly fading before she shook her head, smiling. "No, it's none of their business what we do. And let's hurry up, shall we? I believe you promised I would get to see you naked on purpose this time."
"Oh, you absolutely will. We don't even have to wait if you don't want to." He reached for the hem of his tunic, not having bothered to wear armor to the tavern this time.
"No, don't!" Brianna exclaimed, laughing and waving her hands. "Not out in public with so many people around!" She gestured at the people walking the streets of Hightown, since it was still early evening, the full moon shining brightly down on them.
Mardin grinned and shrugged, though he let his hands drop again. "I don't mind."
"Well, maybe I don't want to share my first real look at that fantastic body of yours with all of Hightown," she murmured as she looked up at him, her cheeks once more flushed.
His grin widened as pride and lust swirled through him. "Fantastic, is it?"
"Not that you need a bigger ego," she said dryly, "but yes, that's what I thought of your body the first time I saw it. And yes, I find you very handsome, also."
"Here I thought I was the one who was supposed to say nice things about how you look," he said teasingly, though he couldn't deny he was pleased – and aroused – at her words. "But go on. Is that all you thought when you saw me naked? Besides being concerned for my safety?" He winked at her.
She whacked him lightly in the side, shaking her head. "Must you tease me so? It was the only thing I could think of to say at the time!"
"Yes, but what were you thinking?" he pressed, both curious and thoroughly enjoying himself.
"I was thinking . . ." She danced a few steps ahead of him, trailing off as she turned to look back at him, looking him up and down. He nodded in encouragement, and she finally went on, "I was thinking that I wanted to know what your body felt like under my hands – and my mouth."
He sucked in a breath, his whole body clenching tight with want at her words – and at the sudden mental picture of her doing just what she'd said. "Goddess," he breathed, "are you trying to make me lose control?"
She smiled at him, keeping just that few steps ahead and out of his reach as she walked backwards in front of him. "It would be rather nice to see you flustered for once. Now you'd better hurry up so I can find out what you feel like." With that, she turned and began running ahead of him towards the mansion, laughing.
He stared after her for a second, surprised, before he raced after her, pleased that she was teasing him and seemed to be enjoying herself as much as he was. He caught up to her just as she reached the door to the mansion, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her to face him as he pressed her body up against the door with his own. "You shouldn't run from a shifter unless you want to be hunted," he told her, threading his other hand in her hair and tipping her face up to his, her mouth only a breath away from his own.
She smiled up at him, her violet eyes glowing as she slipped her arms around his neck. "That was the idea," she said, before she tugged him the rest of the way down.
He felt suddenly wild and needy as soon as their lips met, the passion he'd been feeling for her from the first moment he saw her barely held in check as she willingly opened her mouth to his tongue, letting him drink of the heady taste of her. Goddess, but she tasted better than any woman had a right to. He delved deeper, sweeping his tongue thoroughly through the warmth of her mouth. She moaned softly, pressing herself more tightly against him, and he couldn't suppress his own groan at the feel of her warm, soft body plastered to his. He slipped the hand that had been on the small of her back down to squeeze that luscious rear of hers, pushing her hips further into his, aching for the friction it gave him – and for the incredible smell of her arousal increasing.
Brianna suddenly pulled her mouth from his, gasping for breath, though she didn't try to move away. Not that he thought he was capable of letting go of her at this precise moment. "We should . . . go inside," she managed, sounding completely breathless.
"Probably," he agreed, knowing that she was unlikely to want their first time to be up against the door outside of the mansion.
"That means you need to let go," she prodded him, looking amused.
"Maybe, maybe not," he said, suddenly inspired. He slipped his right hand from her hair, shifting her to the side with his other hand while he opened the door. He scooped her up in his arms as soon as the door was open, slipping through the door with her cradled against his chest.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
"Not letting go," he informed her, kicking the door shut behind them before he headed for his room.
"Why? I can walk," she pointed out, though she didn't bother to move, and indeed, wrapped her arms around his neck, as he walked down the hallway with her.
"I'm sure you can," he said mildly. "Having already caught you once, though, I don't want to give you a chance to run away again."
She laughed. "I won't, I promise."
"Not worth the risk," he decided, balancing her with one arm while he opened the door to his room with the other. He kicked it shut behind him again before carrying her over to his bed and setting her down carefully. "There, now you're stuck here," he declared.
She smiled at him, shaking her head. "Oh? For how long?"
"All night," he promised her, even as he struggled to keep a leash on his passion for her. Somewhere between the door and here, he'd remembered that he wanted to take his time with her, and not rush things as he had done before, not even properly undressing her. It wouldn't be easy, given his lack of control when it came to her and how long he'd wanted her, but he was determined to be slow and thorough, nonetheless. He wanted to make sure that she enjoyed it as much as possible, so that he would get many more opportunities to spend the night alone with her. One night, he was suddenly quite certain, would not be nearly enough.
"All night?" she asked teasingly, raising her eyebrows, even as that blush he found he quite liked spread over her face again. "Is that a promise?"
"Absolutely. Now, I believe you had requested to see me naked again."
She nodded, her eyes suddenly flaring with heat, and he took a deep breath, struggling against the urge to sweep her back into his arms again. Instead, he stripped off his tunic, then his breeches and smallclothes, tossing them aside as he stood naked before her, not bothering to hide how aroused he already was.
She looked him over from her perch on the bed, her gaze growing hotter as the scent of her arousal increased, and he groaned inwardly as lust thrummed through his body just at the smell of her. This would be more difficult than he'd thought.
"I believe," she said, sounding slightly breathless again, "that I had also requested to feel you."
"So you did," he agreed, striving to keep his voice even, "but first I think I should get to see you naked again. It only seems fair."
"I suppose you're right." He watched with bated breath as she unlaced her robes and pulled off her breeches, leaving her in only her breastband and smallclothes, her ivory skin glowing in the light of the lantern he'd left burning low on the side table.
"Wait," he said as she reached for her breastband. "I changed my mind. I think I'd rather do that myself."
She nodded, even as her face was turning red again, and let her hands drop as he closed the last few steps between them, kneeling down before her and reaching for her breastband. He unwound it slowly, watching as her pert, pink-tipped breasts fell free. He tossed the cloth aside, taking both breasts carefully in his hands, kneading them and rolling her nipples between his fingers. She gasped, and then suddenly it was his turn to moan as she splayed her hands across his chest, rubbing her thumbs over his nipples in turn.
The touch of her cool, soft fingers to his skin was like flame striking tinder, and his whole body drew up tight with want. He froze, struggling to keep from pouncing on her as she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his chest and flicking her tongue across his nipple. "Stop!" he gasped as she licked a path across to his other nipple.
Brianna pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a suddenly wicked smile that made his blood flare even hotter. "I thought I was going to get to touch you this time?"
"Well, yes, but you're not naked yet," he said rather desperately, casting about for any excuse to get her mouth off him before he lost all capacity for thought. "So until you are, it's still my turn."
"Well, you'd better hurry up then," she challenged him, still smiling. "I'm not sure how long I can wait."
There was his feisty mage, he thought, unable to stifle a smile himself even as her words did nothing for his self-control. "No," he replied, climbing up on the bed and gently pushing her to lay back, "I'm going to take it slow, this time."
To prove his point, he braced his weight above her, pressing a quick, hard kiss to her mouth before trailing his lips down her neck, to her collarbone, following the path of his hands as he traced every inch of that gorgeous body. "Goddess, your skin is like silk," he groaned against her breast as he traced it with his mouth, his hands dipping lower to skim over her belly and hips. "So soft, so tasty." He sucked her nipple into his mouth even as he slipped his hands beneath the waist of her smallclothes.
"Oh, Maker, would you hurry up, Mardin!" she cried out, arching her hips beneath him.
"No," he growled, even though he was wound so tight by now he felt like he was about to burst. He was going to take his time, even if it killed him.
He trailed his mouth down her stomach, even as he pulled her smallclothes slowly down her legs. His hands had just brushed the back of her knees when she yelped, her hips jerking up just as his mouth drifted below her bellybutton. He raised his head to look at her as he caressed the back of her knees again, white-hot lust flashing through him when she squirmed beneath him again and he scented the sudden spike in her arousal. "Sensitive there, are you?" he drawled.
She nodded, looking wide-eyed with surprise herself. "I guess I must be," she managed.
He moved back a little further, pulling her smallclothes the rest of the way off before he lifted one of her long, gorgeous legs up and pressed his lips to the back of her knee, licking and suckling the soft skin there. "Oh, Maker," she moaned, trying to pull her leg away from him, but he refused to let her.
Instead, he trailed his mouth up the inside of her thigh as his other hand drifted up her opposite thigh, savouring the feel of the silken skin there. By the time his mouth reached the apex of her thighs, the delicious scent of her was nearly overwhelming. "Honey and wine," he murmured, before he slipped his tongue into her core, desperate for the taste of her once again.
She gripped his hair and yanked his head up before he'd gotten very far, however, looking half-wild. "Mardin, please, I want you inside me this time," she demanded.
And with those words, his tenuous hold on his control finally snapped. No longer able to hold back from the instinctive demands of his body, he scooted forward, parting her thighs even further, and buried himself in her with one swift thrust. She cried out, wrapping her legs and arms tightly around him, and he let out a strangled groan, unable to believe how incredible the hot, silken feel of her wrapped around his cock was. The intensity of the feeling was nearly overwhelming, so much more incredible than he'd ever felt before.
No. He shook his head. No, surely it had always felt this way with other women, hadn't it? But then she shifted beneath him, squirming and arching her hips up, and he could no longer even think. Instinct and aching desperation drove him as he thrust in and out, only just able to hold his strength in check but unable to go slowly, which was apparently just fine with her; she was rising up to meet him just as relentlessly, her hands roaming his back and shoulders continually as they moved together.
He kept one hand pressed to that amazing ass of hers, squeezing it and pushing her hips even further into his with each thrust, swivelling his hips so that he might hit the exact right spot, while he kept his weight braced with his other hand. When he felt her begin to shudder and clench around his cock while his own body wound tighter and tighter, he kissed her fiercely, swallowing her scream into his own mouth as she arched against him and her magic burst through him again. The combination of her body squeezing him and the warm wave of her magic flowing through him was enough to trigger his own release, his whole body shuddering as he emptied himself deep within her in almost painful bliss before collapsing limply on top of her.
It took him a few moments to gather enough wits to realize he must be almost crushing her, and he rolled off her onto his back, though he brought her with him, somehow still unable to let go of her. She lay willingly across his chest, however, and after another few moments of catching their breath, she raised her head to look at him, smiling at him as she teased, "I thought you promised me all night?"
He grinned at her, smacking her lightly on the ass. "I did, and I fully intend to hold to that promise. Just give me a few more moments, and I'll pick up where I left off before you interrupted me with your demands."
"Oh, no you won't," she said, shaking her head at him. He raised his eyebrows at her, surprised, before she went on, "I never got to finish touching you, before. It's my turn."
"Oh?" He smiled at her, pleased and intrigued as he tucked his hands behind his head. "Go ahead, then. It would be rude of me to deny a lady her turn."
"It would," she agreed, sitting up and straddling him, causing him to suck in his breath at the sudden surge of want flowing through him. "So you'd better not interrupt me this time until I'm finished."
"I'll try," he said with a shrug as she leaned over him, running her hands up his chest, "but I'm not making any promises."
It turned out to be a good thing he did not, for he only made it through a few minutes of torturous bliss under her hands and surprisingly clever mouth before his control broke again and he flipped her over, picking up precisely where he had left off before. After all, she had all night to resume her turn later.
It was instinct that woke Mardin up, had him rolling his body over Brianna's to protect her before he even knew the reason for it. As soon as the cold steel pierced deeply into his back, though, he understood, as he roared with pain and rage.
He reached behind him instantly, catching the arm that had plunged the short sword into his upper back as it yanked the steel out again, twisting hard. The wielder shrieked as their arm snapped like a dry twig, trying to pull away. He kept his grip, however, using it as he whirled around to fling the person away with all his considerable strength. They hit the wall with a resounding thud and cry, but he was already moving, leaping off the bed to follow, rage pulsing through him.
"Mardin, what -?" He could hear Brianna cry behind him, but he ignored her, his entire, furious focus on the dwarf slumped against the wall opposite him. His target had been Brianna. For that, he would pay. The dwarf lifted crazed eyes to Mardin as he reached him, cradling his arm, murmuring, "Wrong blood. It should be the blood of the Hawke. Must – have – "
"I'll show you blood," Mardin snarled, grabbing the dwarf's head in his hands and twisting hard, snapping the dwarf's neck easily, nearly ripping the head entirely off the body in his rage.
"Mardin, look out!" Brianna shouted.
A sword slashed across the back of his thigh, and he cried out, whirling around at the same moment as Brianna's lightning struck the new offender behind him. Another dwarf was blown backwards into the wall from the force of her spell, his body jerking with electricity. Mardin ignored him, knowing that the spell would be enough to finish him off. Now that he had turned around, he'd seen the four other dwarves, all dressed in varying types of leather and chainmail armor, wielding daggers or swords, filing into the room. Two were heading towards the bed and Brianna, the other two were coming towards him, crazed looks on all of their faces as they all mumbled something about the "blood of the Hawke."
Mardin scooped up the short sword dropped by the dwarf he'd just killed, his own sword on the armor stand and the dagger he kept under his pillow both too far away, and marched towards the dwarves. He used the sheer fury and adrenaline washing through him to ignore the pain and the blood trickling down his leg and back, racing forwards and batting aside the first dwarf's sword, ignoring the slice on his left arm as he stabbed the sword straight through the dwarf's chest, yanking it downwards viciously. He roared when the second dwarf's dagger pierced him in the side, twisting away quickly and pulling the sword out, flinging it straight at the one who'd just attacked him.
The dwarf cried out as the short sword hit home in his left shoulder, his steps halting, and that was long enough for Mardin to pounce on him, grabbing his arms and yanking them upwards until the dwarf screamed as they popped free from the shoulders, nearly tearing free from his body altogether. Letting go of the dwarf's arms, Mardin snapped this one's neck too, this time ripping the head right off in his all-consuming rage, tossing it aside carelessly. In the next instant, he was on his feet, whirling to see where the other two had gone, only to see the charred corpse of one lying several feet away. The other had apparently just been frozen solid by Brianna, who was standing up on the bed, hands outstretched, having just finished casting the spell.
His feelings far from being relieved, Mardin smashed a fist through the frozen dwarf, shattering him into dozens of pieces, before he turned and stalked away from the bed, struggling for some kind of control over his fury.
They had been after Brianna. They'd been talking about her blood. They had been aiming for her when he'd rolled his body over hers to protect her. If he hadn't been there, if he had woken up just a few seconds later, she could have died. If she'd died while under his protection, while sharing his bed, he – he'd – the bear rose up inside him with a roar at the thought, and he struggled to tamp it down. Rage was still pulsing through him, red-hot and misting his vision, demanding more blood. The bear wanted more dwarves to kill, more of their blood to revel in. How dare they attack her? How dare they try to kill his mate right in front of him? He could feel the change wanting to shimmer through him, could feel his eyes starting to shift and his teeth starting to lengthen against his will, and he fought against it, trying in vain to bring himself under control. If he let the bear loose now, he would become the monster everyone had always thought him to be.
"Mardin!" He could hear the hurried footsteps behind him as Brianna made her way towards him, having jumped off the bed. "Maker, you're bleeding everywhere, let me – "
"Don't touch me!" he snarled, stepping further away from her, terrified that right now, anything could make him lose the shaky hold he had over the bear. If he lost control with her right there, he might – No. He clenched his fists hard, taking deep breaths as he struggled with the change wavering through his body.
"I'll touch you if I bloody well feel like it!" she yelled at him. "Look at you! You're covered in wounds because you seem to think your body itself is a shield! What kind of idiot is that reckless?! You had no weapons, you had no armor, and you threw yourself right into that fight like you were invincible! How could you be so stupid?! And healing magic is at its most potent when it's used through touch, so how about you shut up and let me fix you?!"
Without further ado, she laid her cool hand over his wounded and bleeding upper back, and the soothing warmth of her healing magic began to flow through his body. Mardin stood there for a moment in abject shock as he realized the bear had quieted completely and his rage was suddenly gone. He was unsure if its disappearance was due to the amusement that had washed through him at the realization she was yelling at him for getting wounded – again – or if it was due to the touch of her hand or the feel of her healing magic. At any rate, it was gone, and he let out a breath of relief at the knowledge that he would not become a monster – not today, anyway.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly after a moment, feeling the healing magic working its way through his body, dissipating his pain and pulling together the wounds in his back, in his side, on his thigh and on his arm. "I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just – there's something I should have told you a long time ago."
"Oh?" She still sounded a bit irritated, but her voice was mostly threaded with curiosity now as she went on, "What should you have told me?"
He was suddenly glad his back was to her, that he couldn't see her face as he told her this. He'd told her not to be afraid, before, but he realized now she should be. He'd come so close to attacking her, simply because he couldn't control his rage. She would think him a monster, now, once he told her the truth about the animal that lay within him. If, he admitted quietly to himself as he looked at the bodies of the dwarves before him, she didn't think that already.
He took a deep breath. Nonetheless, this needed to be said. She had to know, even if it meant she would turn away from him. "Shifters – we can turn into abominations, too. Monsters. I – almost did, just now. We are as much animal as we are human, sometimes. We often struggle for control against the animal within. And if we become overwhelmed with emotion, such as rage, we might shift without meaning to, without being in control of it. If we do . . . we become monsters. We are no longer ourselves, we are nothing but wild animals, and we attack everyone, even our friends, unprovoked. And I almost lost control to my rage, just then, after those dwarves tried to kill you. I could feel the bear starting to overwhelm me, and that's why I snapped at you. I was afraid I was about to change, and hurt you."
"But you didn't."
"What?" He sucked in a breath, hardly daring to believe what he'd just heard. She'd said it so simply, and she didn't sound afraid, or angry, or disgusted, or any of the reactions he'd come to expect. Nor had her healing magic stopped washing through his body.
"You didn't," she repeated. "You didn't hurt me. In fact, you seem fine now. Why?"
"I'm . . . not sure," he admitted. "Maybe because you yelled at me for getting hurt, like you did before with the dragon, and it amused me. Or maybe because you touched me, and rage is the last thing I feel when you touch me. I don't know. All I know is, the rage is gone, and the bear is quiet now. But . . . I was so close. I almost lost control, and if I had . . ."
"But you didn't," she said again, softly. He nearly jumped with shock when he felt her press her whole body to his back, her other arm coming around his waist as her spell continued unabated and she held him tight, her cheek pressed to his back. "You're back to normal, and I don't have a scratch on me, thanks to you."
"You're . . . really not afraid?" he asked in wonder, laying his hand over hers, feeling strangely comforted by her embrace.
"Are you afraid of me?" she asked in turn.
"What?" He frowned, squeezing her hand. "Of course not. Why would I be?"
She laughed softly, the sound full of wonder and joy. "I am a mage, Mardin. We can lose control and become abominations, too. If I ever give into temptation of any kind from a demon – rage, desire, hunger, greed, whatever – I'll become a monster that attacks my friends too. And I'm no more immune than any other mage. I've come close once or twice myself, especially after Bethany died. The important thing is that I didn't lose control, and neither did you. So no, I'm not afraid of you. Especially not when it seems all I have to do to bring you out of it is yell at you. I'm sure I can manage that," she finished teasingly.
"Hmm." He smiled, his heart feeling suddenly and inexplicably light. When had any non-shifter accepted who he truly was, the monster inside, so fully, so easily? He couldn't recall, but he was incredibly relieved that she had – more relieved, in fact, than he cared to examine. So he fell back on a much simpler emotion, using his hand to slide hers further down his body. "I'd much rather you touched me. It could just as easily have been that, you know. I think we should experiment frequently to make sure."
She laughed again, tugging her hand free, and he let her with a reluctant sigh as she drew back a little again, though her other hand remained on his back as her magic continued to flow. "Maybe later. I still need to finish healing you, you know."
"No, you don't," he insisted, though he didn't move. "I'm fine." Which was true enough; the pain felt as though it was almost entirely gone, though perhaps the initial wound in his back still ached a bit.
"No, you're not," she said critically. She sighed, stopping the spell short and pulling her hand free. "But I'm afraid I've done all I can. The wound on your back was deep; we'll need Anders to fix it properly."
He turned to look at her, frowning when he noticed how disappointed in herself she looked. "We don't," he insisted, moving his shoulders to demonstrate, ignoring the twinge he felt as he did so. "I'm fine, honestly. What we need to do is figure out why these dwarves were after you. You're sure that you're fine?" He looked her over closely, trying to ignore the fact that her lovely body was bare to his gaze still, and instead focus on whether it was marred by any wounds.
She smiled warmly at him, turning a full circle for his benefit. He groaned involuntarily at the glimpse of her lush backside as she did so, suddenly aching to have his hands on it again, before she turned to face him, smirking at him. "See? Not a scratch on me, like I said. Thanks to you using yourself as a shield like a moron."
"What else was I going to use?" he asked reasonably. "Not like I had time to go get my shield. If I'd been any slower . . ." He frowned as the thought washed through him anew at just what could have happened had his instincts not awoken him, and felt the rage begin to build again at the thought. There was another emotion buried beneath, one that he couldn't readily identify and chose to ignore as he tried to calm himself down again.
"Hey," she said softly, laying a hand on his arm, causing him to take a deep breath at the sudden soothing – and distracting – touch. "Calm down, okay? Nothing happened to me, so don't worry about it anymore, all right?"
"Okay, I won't," he agreed, determined not to think about it again, for it was much too disturbing when he did. "But still, we do need to find out why they were here, and what they wanted with your blood. They kept talking about the 'blood of the Hawke.' There could be more of them, and we need to find out if there is before they attack again." In case I'm not there next time. Though he wasn't intending on letting her out of his sight any time soon, just in case. She was an important part of his destiny, so he had to keep her safe to find out what it was; that's why he was worried, he assured himself.
She nodded. "You're right, we do need to find out what they were doing here. And how did they even know I was here, anyway?"
He sighed. "They were probably following us, earlier, and waited until we were asleep." He explained how he'd felt that they were being watched and followed, but had ignored the sensation, since he couldn't differentiate between Varric's spies and anyone else who was actually dangerous until they chose to attack. Particularly when they weren't after him. "It seems we need to start locking the door. Maybe setting some traps, as well."
"I can probably come up with some magical defenses, as well," Brianna offered. "But first, we should go tell Varric what happened. Maybe those spies of his can actually be useful, for once, and find out who these dwarves were, and why they were after me. And maybe help us clean up this mess," she added ruefully, looking around the room. "We should also go to Anders, get him to finish healing you."
"That's really not necessary," Mardin protested. "I'm fine. It's more important that we find out if there are more of these dwarves, anyway."
"And I say you're not fine." Brianna reached around to poke him in the back, directly over where the wound had been, startling a yelp out of him at the surprising stab of pain in the muscles beneath, even though the surface was closed. "I know I didn't fix you completely, and we will get Anders to fix that before you go fighting any more dwarves, got it?"
He grinned, finding the flare of anger in her eyes and her commanding tone surprisingly sexy as he held up his hands in defense. "Got it. But we should go to Varric first."
"All right," she agreed, smiling a little as the anger faded from her eyes. "Let's get dressed and go see Varric. But make sure to bring your actual shield and weapons this time, please?"
"I promise," he told her, finding his smallclothes and pulling them on before crossing over to his armor stand. As she had pointed out before, he could hardly protect anyone if he got himself killed, so now that he was thinking clearly, he would take the time to arm himself and not be so reckless in the next battle, should one occur on the way to Varric. Because no one, he vowed as he began to pull on his armor, not those dwarves or anyone else, would be taking any of her blood so long as he drew breath. He only hoped that Varric could truly find out who they were, for if there were any more of them, he was determined to kill them long before they could reach Brianna.
"Well, I've found out who attacked you, Hawke," Varric declared two days later, as he stood in front of the kitchen table in the mansion. Mardin sat at the table across from him, next to Brianna, while Merrill, Fenris, and Anders took up the other seats. Aveline had been attending a meeting with the Viscount this morning, and so had been unable to join them, and Isabela had not yet returned from her relic hunt, but the others had all agreed to join the emergency meeting that Varric had called for this morning to explain what he'd found. "Not why, but who, and where they're holed up. Not that any of it makes sense, though."
"You were attacked, Hawke?" Merrill cried in surprise from her seat at the kitchen table. "Creators, what happened?"
"Yes, you never did explain the details of the attack," Fenris added.
"Hold on," Brianna said, lifting her hands in defense. "I'll explain everything now, okay?"
Mardin, noting the light blush on her cheeks, guessed that she probably hadn't properly explained everything to anyone besides Varric due to when and where the attack had occurred. In spite of what she'd claimed about not caring what they thought, he suspected she was still a bit embarrassed to let the others in on the details of her private life. For himself, he couldn't care less about what the others knew, but if she did, he would at least try to keep his mouth shut. She gamely began to explain the attack from the beginning, however, though she glossed rather quickly over the fact that they had been in bed together, sleeping off the after-effects of a very active and memorable (for Mardin, at least) night. She hadn't gotten very far, however, before there was a loud knock at the front door.
Everyone turned to look at the door leading out of the kitchen towards the great hall where the front door was in unison, surprised. "Who could that be?" Anders asked. "We weren't expecting anyone else, were we?"
Brianna shook her head, looking perplexed. "No. Unless Aveline finished her meeting early, maybe?" She got to her feet, heading for the door.
Mardin leapt to his feet as well, catching her arm before she got very far. "Hold on. I'll go see who it is, just in case."
She blew out an exasperated breath, rolling her eyes at him. "If it is more of those dwarves out to attack me, I really doubt they'd knock on the door first."
"You never know," he insisted stubbornly. He'd been careful to let her out of his sight as little as possible over the last two days while Varric did his research, even insisting that she stay with him at the mansion at night, since they'd set it up with traps and some magical defenses later that same day. Of course, he didn't mind sharing his bed with her each night, either. He knew she was starting to get impatient with his restrictions, but that didn't mean he was about to let up on them, not until they knew what was going on, anyway. She scowled at him, but he ignored her as he marched out of the kitchen towards the front door.
He kept his hand on his sword hilt, which had also rarely been out of his sight over the last two days, as he pulled open the heavy wooden door. He didn't sense any immediate danger, but he'd been so edgy lately that he barely trusted his instincts anymore. His hand dropped away from his sword hilt as soon as he saw who stood on the other side, however. "Ayles?" he exclaimed, relieved and pleased to see his little sister before him once more.
She beamed, looking equally relieved to see him. That idiot mate of hers stood a little behind her, along with – Carver?! Mardin thought, shocked. Before he could ask just what Carver was doing with Ayla, his little sister exclaimed, "Mardy, you're all right!"
He frowned. "Of course I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you're a reckless moron?" Brianna suggested sweetly from behind him.
Mardin sighed, rolling his eyes. She obviously wasn't about to let that one go anytime soon; she'd called him some variation of that several times over the last two days.
Ayla laughed and Alistair snorted, looking amused. "Runs in the family, does it?" he asked.
"Bree!" Carver exclaimed before Mardin or anyone could reply. "Has anyone attacked you? Are you okay?"
"Carver!" Brianna pushed past Mardin in the doorway, flinging herself at her younger brother, hugging him tightly. "What are you doing here?!"
Mardin glanced between her and his sister, noting with amusement the way his sister was frowning up at her mate after his words. "Does that mean you're calling me a reckless moron?"
"No, I didn't mean that," Alistair hedged, looking flustered while Carver said something to Brianna about how he'd been attacked, also. "I only meant the reckless part, really . . ."
Ayla crossed her arms, glaring up at him while Mardin smirked at the uncomfortable look on the other man's face. "I certainly hope so. If not, you might want to remember that sex we were planning on having ever again."
Alistair turned bright red as he glanced quickly at Brianna and Carver, who didn't appear to be listening, protesting, "Ayla!"
She grinned. "I'm just kidding, of course. I'd have an entirely different punishment in mind." The sly tone as she said it left little doubt as to the nature of such a punishment, which only caused her mate to turn redder and start spluttering, much to Mardin's increasing amusement. Until Ayla turned to him, that is. "And just what did your friend mean by you being a reckless moron, Mardy?"
"Oh, nothing," Mardin said quickly, knowing his sister's reaction would be much the same as Brianna's had been when she yelled at him. "Anyway, you should all come inside. Almost everybody's here," he added, turning to Carver.
Brianna, having let go of Carver, turned to him and frowned in much the manner Ayla just had. "It's not nothing," she said. "But he's right. You should all come inside and get the whole story. And Carver, you can tell yours to everybody else."
She headed inside, sweeping past Mardin with a raised eyebrow that indicated she fully intended to tell Ayla exactly how wounded he'd been, and he sighed, knowing there wasn't any way past it. He stepped to the side of the door, gesturing to the others to go past him. Alistair and Ayla went through first, following Brianna to the kitchen, though his sister shot a warning glance at him as he went by. Carver followed them, stopping to whisper to Mardin, "Everybody's here? Merrill too?"
"She is," Mardin confirmed, noting that Carver looked both eager and nervous. "She seemed to like your letter, too."
"She did?" Carver's face turned pink, much as Merrill's had when she read the letter. "I hope she's glad to see me."
"She will be," Mardin reassured him, clapping him on the shoulder. "She was pretty devastated when I told her what happened to you, before we got word that you'd survived the Joining. And she was very happy to hear you'd survived. As was I. Glad to have you back, Carver."
"Thanks," Carver muttered, looking embarrassed as he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Glad to be back. I know you protected Bree, again. I can't thank you enough for that. I'll be able to stick around for a little while until we figure out why we were attacked and solve it, but after that, I'll have to leave again, so . . ."
Mardin nodded, hearing the unspoken request. "I'll keep an eye on everybody, don't worry."
The two of them started towards the kitchen, Mardin swinging the door shut behind them, but they'd only gotten partway there when they heard Anders cry out in surprise from the kitchen. "Commander?!"
Suddenly remembering what Anders had once said about accidentally attacking Ayla, and how that other Warden, Nathaniel, had reacted to seeing him again, Mardin picked up his pace, hurrying towards the kitchen with Carver right by his side. He reached the door just in time to hear Alistair reply coolly, "You're still calling me that? And here I thought you ran away so you didn't have to be under my command, anymore. I mean, I'm nothing but a prejudiced former Templar to you, right?"
Mardin entered the kitchen to see a flustered Anders on his feet, shaking his head. "That's not what I . . . I don't . . . I just . . . thought it was best for everyone if I left, that's all."
Alistair, Mardin noted, looked coldly furious as he stared at Anders, not moved by the other man's flustered excuses. Ayla moved between them, laying a hand on her mate's arm, saying softly, "Calm down, Alistair. Give him a chance to explain."
Alistair scowled. "Explain how he refused to listen when I said that merging with Justice was a bad idea? Or how his refusal to obey orders led to him attacking you? Or should I let him explain how he abandoned his brothers and sisters without a word to anyone?"
Anders was looking increasingly miserable with each accusation flung his way, hanging his head, and Ayla raised her eyebrows at Alistair, jerking her head in the mage's direction and then giving her mate a significant look. Alistair sighed, his face softening as he looked down at her before finally nodding in reply. "Fine. If you do have an explanation, Anders, go ahead."
Anders lifted his head, looking surprised, before he cast a grateful glance at Ayla. Taking a deep breath, he began, "Well . . . first of all, Commander, I'm sorry. You were right about Justice. I should have listened to you, but I suppose I . . . might have been blinded by my own prejudices, and I didn't realize that until it was too late. Until after I'd . . . lost control and attacked Ayla. I'm so sorry, again," he said to Ayla.
She shook her head. "It's fine. I'm fine, because you gained control right away and healed me," she added significantly, squeezing Alistair's arm, as his face had started to darken again at the reminder of the attack. "And like I told you before, I don't blame you for losing control. No shifter ever would." She glanced at Mardin as she said this, and he nodded grimly, remembering how close he himself had just come to doing the same thing.
"Thank you," Anders said fervently, and she nodded as he went on, "And as for why I left . . . well, Nathaniel was partly right about that, I suppose. Some of it was just me running away rather than face the consequences of what I'd done. But it was also that I was afraid I'd do it again, and that it would be worse next time, that maybe I wouldn't stop in time . . ." He trailed off for a moment, shuddering. "And besides that, there was already a lot of controversy over you conscripting mages. If the people of Amaranthine had found out I was possessed on top of being a mage, it would have caused big trouble for you and the other Wardens. So that's why . . . I thought it would be best for everyone if I just left. And why I think it would be best if I stayed gone. Besides, I've found people who need my help more."
"Anders has done a lot for the people of Kirkwall," Brianna interjected, moving forward to lay a hand on Anders' shoulder as he cast a grateful look at her. "He's started a free healing clinic down in Darktown, so that people who can't afford healing can finally have treatment. He's probably saved hundreds of lives since he's been here, and he's definitely saved all of our lives before."
Alistair nodded slowly. "Well, I'm glad to hear some good has come of all this, at least. You know, if you'd just taken the time to explain all this in the first place, and why you wanted to leave, I would have let you go. I'd like to think I'm not an unreasonable tyrant. Or a prejudiced Templar," he added dryly.
"You're not," Anders muttered, looking embarrassed. "I was just afraid, and not thinking straight at the time, so I ran. I'm sorry for everything that happened, and for not explaining myself before. I hope you can forgive me, eventually."
Alistair didn't answer for a long moment, and Mardin saw Ayla elbow him in the side before he finally said, "I'll try. I can't make any promises, but I'll try. And thank you for the explanation, however late it was. At least I know now."
"Well," Varric said briskly, clapping his hands together, "now that all that awkwardness is done with, how about we get down to business? Such as what you're all doing here? Nice to see you again, by the way, Junior."
"Carver?" Merrill exclaimed, looking overjoyed as she leapt up from the table, having apparently just noticed that he was there, hovering uncomfortably behind Mardin in the doorway during the confrontation between the two Wardens. "You're really okay?!"
Carver moved forward towards the table, smiling at the elf. "Yeah, Merrill, of course I am, I said so in my letter, didn't I?"
"Oh, Creators, I'm so glad you're all right!" Merrill exclaimed, hurrying around the table towards him and flinging her arms around him. Carver tentatively returned the hug, looking rather red in the face, until Merrill leaned back, frowning, and tapped on his new plate armor. "I don't think I like this. It makes hugging you very uncomfortable."
"Doesn't it, though?" Ayla said wryly, reaching behind her to tap Alistair's plate armor. He smiled fondly down at her, shaking his head as he slipped an arm around her waist.
"It does," Merrill agreed with her firmly, before turning back to Carver. "I liked your letter very much, Carver. Especially the part where –"
"Uh, maybe we should talk about that later," Carver interrupted her hastily, turning a deeper shade of red. "In private."
"No, by all means, Daisy, continue," Varric prompted, grinning widely.
"Or not," Fenris said with a sigh. "Did you not have a purpose in gathering us all here this morning, dwarf?"
"Oh, right," Varric nodded, though he looked a little disappointed. "Before our unexpected guests arrived, I was going to tell you all what I found out. By the way, why are you here, Junior? I thought you were heading back to Ferelden."
"I was," Carver said, "until I got attacked at the docks before we left." He proceeded to explain to them how he and the other Wardens he'd been with at the time had been attacked by dwarves who'd been after him for his blood, making Mardin frown at the obvious similarity to the attack he and Brianna had experienced. Carver went on to explain how he and Nathaniel had run into Alistair and Ayla, who had decided to stay and help investigate while sending the other Wardens home. "I was afraid they might attack Bree too, so we came here to warn you," Carver finished, nodding at his sister. "But it seems they attacked you first."
"Yes, and I do believe Mardy has some explaining to do about that," Ayla chimed in, glaring fiercely at Mardin.
He sighed, shaking his head. "I told you, it's nothing. I'm obviously fine, aren't I?" He could tell his little sister wasn't buying it, though, as she shook her head at him, frowning.
"You weren't fine," Brianna retorted, and Mardin sighed, knowing she was about to tell Ayla in detail just how many injuries he'd gotten. "And yes, those dwarves attacked me, too, while I was with Mardin." She proceeded to tell the whole story over again from the beginning, and as Mardin had thought, she didn't leave out a single description of his injuries, including the fact that they'd had to go to Anders afterwards to get the initial stab wound fully healed. "And then we asked Varric to look into who the dwarves were, and why they were after me – and apparently Carver, too," she concluded.
Ayla stalked forward and whacked Mardin in the chest. "Ow, Ayles!" he protested, rubbing his chest. "What was that for?"
"You are a reckless moron," she snapped at him, and Brianna looked pleased. "Charging into battle without your weapons?! Using your arm as a shield?! What were you thinking?! I don't want you dead when I've only just found you again!"
"Hey, come on, Ayles, I'm not going to die," Mardin protested, feeling suddenly guilty in a way only his little sister could bring out in him, especially when it looked like tears were starting to pool in her eyes. He pulled her gently into his arms, murmuring above her head, "I'm fine now, I told you. And I'm sorry, but I wasn't thinking. I was on the verge of losing control," he finished so quietly only she would hear.
She looked up at him in sudden understanding. "Then I suppose you're not a total moron," she said softly. "I guess I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing in your situation."
"You'd better not," he muttered. "Not anymore, anyway." He glanced significantly down at her stomach, and she nodded with a sigh.
"Anyway," Varric said loudly, "if anyone's still interested, I did find out who the dwarves were, and where they were."
"Yes, of course we're still interested, Varric," Brianna said impatiently. "Who were they, then?"
"Well, oddly enough, they were Carta dwarves. Though apparently they've all been missing for a while, and none of the Carta members here in Kirkwall know what they were up to," Varric explained. "But it seems they have some sort of home base in the Vimmark Mountains."
Alistair looked at him oddly. "Did you say the Vimmark Mountains?"
Varric shrugged. "That's what my spies tell me. Why? Does that mean something to you?"
Alistair shook his head. "No, I'm sure it's nothing."
"If you know something, you should tell us," Mardin told him pointedly.
The other man sighed as Ayla crossed back over to him, looping her arm through his. "I don't really know anything. I've just heard rumours that there might be a secret Warden base there."
"Rumours?" Fenris was frowning at him. "Are you not the Warden Commander? Should you not know what bases there are?"
"Only of the Fereldan Wardens," Alistair said with a shrug. "Which, given our small numbers and lack of influence, doesn't really make me privy to a lot of the big Warden secrets. Especially since I've only been Commander for a few years, and I make some controversial decisions," he added wryly, nodding at Anders. "The First Warden and the other Commanders aren't exactly my biggest fans. But I can't see what a Warden base would have to do with the Carta, in any case. Wardens don't usually work with outsiders, unless there's a Blight."
"And I can't see the Carta working with Wardens, either," Varric agreed. "That would be too noble of a cause for them."
"Still, that seems like an odd coincidence," Anders said thoughtfully. "That there might be a Warden base in the same location."
Mardin nodded at him. "I agree. Anyway, if they have some sort of base they're working out of, that means there are more of them. And if there are more of them . . . "
"Then they'll probably attack me and Carver again," Brianna finished. "Unless we go to them first and find out why they're after our blood."
"Yes, we certainly can't let them have your blood," Merrill said determinedly from her place next to Carver, who still had an arm around her, though his face was red. "You're using it, after all."
Brianna grinned at her, and Mardin bit back a laugh as Brianna agreed gravely, "Indeed we are."
"So, trip to the Vimmark Mountains, then, Hawke?" Varric asked.
Brianna nodded. "I think so. I certainly don't want to wait around here for them to attack me again. Will everyone come with me?" She looked to each of their friends in turn as they nodded, stopping at Anders. "Normally I wouldn't ask you to be away from the clinic for so long, but it's a long trip, and I don't know what we'll find. We might need your healing skills, especially as mine aren't where I'd like them to be," she finished softly, and Mardin frowned, knowing that she was still disappointed in herself for not being able to heal his wound fully.
"Of course, Hawke," Anders said softly, though he did dart a quick and uncomfortable glance to his former Commander. "I still owe you for your help with Karl, so if you need me, I'll come along."
"I'm coming too," Carver added, "since it's my blood they're after. If I can, that is." He looked quickly to Alistair, too, as if just remembering that he was no longer free to do whatever he liked.
"Of course you can. We did come here to investigate why you were attacked, after all," Alistair said. "And I'm coming, too. If there's even a chance this has something to do with a Warden base or darkspawn, you might need my help." He hesitated, glancing down at Ayla, and Mardin guessed what he was about to say.
So, too, did Ayla, it would appear, for she interrupted him even as he opened his mouth. "Oh, no you don't! I am not staying behind in Kirkwall. Did we not just discuss last night how pointless my staying behind would be if you're still in danger?"
Alistair flinched, frowning, and Mardin felt a sudden and unwelcome sympathy for the man, knowing that he was thinking of the bond and what would happen to Ayla if he should die in the mountains. Still, he shook his head, protesting, "But, you're –"
"I don't care," Ayla cut him off. "I'm coming too. Besides, Mardy will be there to help protect me too. Right?"
Mardin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He was no more enthusiastic about bringing his little sister along, knowing that she was pregnant, than her mate was, but at the same time, he felt he'd rather have her where he could watch out for her safety personally. And he certainly wasn't staying behind. Besides, as she pointed out, it could be entirely pointless to have her stay behind in any case, if something happened to her mate. "Fine, I'll watch out for you. But if you're coming along, it's daggers only. Ranged fighting, no front-line. Not in your condition. Got it?" he ordered her.
Anders glanced sharply at Ayla at the word "condition" but he didn't say anything about it, and neither did Mardin explain it. If Ayla wanted the room at large to know, she'd tell them. She was beaming at him, nodding in acceptance of his terms, while Alistair was frowning, but he sighed, shaking his head as if he knew it was futile to keep arguing with her. "Fine," Alistair said at last. "I'll agree to it, if you follow those conditions. Keep behind me or your brother, and don't be reckless. Please, love?"
"I promise," she told him sincerely, looking up at him. "I'll stay back, like when we fought the werewolves. But I'm not staying here."
"All right then," Brianna said, clapping her hands together. "It's settled. Everyone's coming. We'll leave for the Vimmark Mountains in the morning, and you're all free to do as you like until then, so long as you're ready to go. We'll meet at the front gates an hour after dawn – if that's all right?" she asked Alistair.
He nodded. "That's fine. We'll be ready to go."
Everyone began to disperse after that, Carver declaring he'd walk Merrill home, Anders saying he had to go back to the clinic, Fenris heading for the study, and Brianna pulling Varric aside to discuss gathering supplies. Mardin crossed over to his sister and her mate. "Why don't you stay here for the day, Ayles?" he asked softly. "I'd like to talk with you more, hear what you've been up to while you were gone."
"Of course, Mardy, we'd love to." Ayla steered Alistair over to the table, sitting them both down, and grinned up at Mardin. "I don't suppose you have anything to eat?"
"Not a whole lot," Mardin admitted, though they'd been keeping the pantry at least slightly better stocked recently, "but I'm sure I could scrounge something up for you."
Once he'd gathered them some food, he sat down at the table with them and spent the rest of the day catching up with his sister and her mate, a pastime in which a curious Brianna and Varric eventually joined them. As he spent the first full day in over three years with his sister, relaxed and enjoying himself in a way he had not been able to for far too long, Mardin silently prayed to the Goddess that he could keep both her and Brianna – and everyone else – safe on this trip into the mountains, no matter what it might entail, for he realized that he wanted many more days like this one - and no dark nights alone.
Internet cookies to whoever finds the Easter egg I slipped into the dialogue ;).