Chapter 8
"Fuck, yes, right there, Cassian."
Cassian grinned as he straddled Jyn's hips. Leaning forward, he kneaded his elbow a little more aggressively into her lower back. Jyn sighed with satisfaction. At 16 weeks pregnant, her back had started to become a more nagging source of pain. Leia had suggested a prenatal yoga class for Jyn, but had been laughed off. As a result, Cassian was giving Jyn constant massages to try to alleviate the tension.
Not that he was complaining. Usually, his massages ended with Jyn flipping him over and fucking him senseless. The hormonal changes she was going through seemed to trigger an insatiable desire for sex, and he was more than happy to comply. Rolling off Jyn, he grinned over at her.
"Feeling better?"
She nodded contentedly, a lazy smile on her lips. Looking up, Cassian glanced around the walls of her bedroom.
"Jyn, where are we going to put two cribs in here? There's barely enough room for your bed and dresser as it is."
She nervously gnawed at her lip. "I'm not sure. I know that I should probably be looking for a bigger place, but I've gotten pretty fond of this apartment."
"I was thinking, if you were up for it, we could look at houses. I wouldn't expect to live there with you, unless you wanted me to. But I would like to help pay for it, that way the babies have a permanent place to call home when they arrive."
Stiffly, Jyn responded, "Money's not an issue for me."
"I wasn't implying that it was, I just thought it might be nice to have some financial help…"
Jyn shifted away from Cassian, her body language closing him off. Shutting his eyes with frustration, Cassian inhaled deeply.
"Jyn, I know that you are used to doing things on your own. But me helping you with the house doesn't mean that you are obliged to me or tied down to me. I just want to help, to make sure that I'm doing my part for the babies."
Jyn's shoulders relaxed minutely. "Just give me some time to think about it, Cassian. I don't want to rush into this."
Accepting that this was the best he was going to get, Cassian nodded, and slipped out of bed to get ready for work.
Cassian was winding down for the afternoon and putting away some frozen sections when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw a new text from Jyn.
"Can you come up to my office in five?"
He didn't hesitate. "Sure, see you soon."
When Cassian arrived in Jyn's office, he was caught off guard by arms wrapping around his neck and lips pressing frantically against his. Quickly, Cassian kicked his foot back to shut the door.
Between kisses, Jyn gasped out, "I've been…thinking…. about you…all fucking day."
Pulling back a little, Cassian hissed, "Jyn. We can't do this here."
"Why not?" she purred, nibbling at his neck.
"Well first, we're at work. It's not decent!" Cassian's sense of modesty was rapidly losing out as Jyn pulled his earlobe between her teeth.
"No one will hear us…"
"Jyn, do you not think there's something… mildly perverse about having sex in the pediatric wing?!"
"It's not like the kids know what we're doing."
Cassian cursed in Spanish. "Sit down at your desk, Jyn."
"Yes sir, Captain," she teased flirtatiously, throwing in a mocking salute for good measure.
Cassian rolled his eyes. Where had all this come from? He walked towards where Jyn was now sprawled out in her desk chair. Kneeling in front of her, he closed his eyes. It seemed like… whatever this was with Jyn… was going to force him to break all his rules.
Staring at her intently, he slid her scrub pants off her hips. He quietly groaned when he found that Jyn wasn't wearing any underwear. His eyes widened when he saw how wet she was, moisture from her cunt glistening in the dark curls surrounding it. Kissing her thighs, he murmured, "We'll do this… but everything else will wait until we get to my apartment tonight. Comprendes?"
"Yes, yes, I understand," she rushed out. "Now hurry up and fuck me."
Sliding his hands under her hips, he pulled her towards him. Inhaling her scent, he gripped her thighs a bit more tightly. He delicately licked along the edge of her labia, letting her feel his stubble scratch the insides of her thighs. When she began to sigh with excitement, he dipped his tongue into her entrance, teasingly sliding it in and out. Jyn hissed, thrusting her hips forward to his face. A little too enthusiastically, as it were- Cassian pulled back, rubbing his nose.
"Sorry," she whispered apologetically.
He grinned at her. "I'm glad you're enjoying it so much." He dipped his face back into her, this time focusing on her clit. He moaned as Jyn ground herself down onto his tongue, quietly begging for more. She tangled her fingers into his hair, and as he felt her thighs tighten around his face, he slid a finger, then two, into her. As he lightly hooked his fingers against her G-spot, Cassian slid his other hand up under her scrub top. He rubbed the pads of his fingers in circles around the outline of her nipple, and Jyn arched her chest into his touch. Cassian slightly increased the pace of his fingers, and pressed his tongue more firmly to Jyn's center. Jyn brought her free hand up to cover her mouth, and he felt her walls begin to spasm around his finger. Pressing his fingertips firmly to her G-spot, he had to contain a loud groan as he felt her come apart around him. He looked up and felt himself get harder as he watched Jyn cover her mouth to contain the sound of her orgasm. The muffled noises she made seared down to his very soul, and he suddenly wished Jyn had soundproofed walls. Slowly, he brought her down by lightening his touches to her, and Jyn sighed with satisfaction as he pulled his head back. Fingers still knotted in his hair, she aggressively tipped his head up to her and pulled him into a bruising kiss.
They were interrupted from the passionate moment by a knock at the office door.
"Fuck," Cassian growled. He hastily wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his white coat, and glared at Jyn as she quickly pulled her scrub pants up around her waist. She grinned at him, and called out, "Just a moment!"
Running his fingers through his hair, Cassian could only hope that their recent tryst wasn't too obvious. When Jyn went to open the door to the office, he tried to situate himself into the other chair at her desk as casually as possible. Realizing he was still somewhat erect, he frantically arranged his white coat to cover his lap.
Standing at the door to Jyn's office was Chirrut Imwe.
"Dr. Erso, Dr. Andor- I hope that I'm not interrupting anything."
Cassian felt a blush creep up his neck. Chirrut had particularly acute hearing- he had no doubt that Chirrut knew exactly what they had just been doing.
Jyn smiled, and Cassian's lips thinned as she slyly glanced over at him. "How can I help you today, Chirrut?"
"Nothing for me, Dr. Erso. I just came by to offer my congratulations."
Jyn looked at Cassian then, surprise written across her face. She silently mouthed, "Did you tell him?", and Cassian frowned, shaking his head.
"And Dr. Andor, I'm sure you are very excited to be a father. Twins, no less!" If Jyn hadn't been startled herself, she would have laughed at the expression of alarm in Cassian's brown eyes. It was rare to find a moment where he was caught off guard. They had been very careful to try to hide the pregnancy from all except their closest friends and mentors- so many things could go wrong, and they both worried about how the sudden change in their relationship would reflect on their professional lives.
Jyn laughed nervously. "Who told you?"
Chirrut smiled mysteriously. "Just a feeling that I had. All is as God wills it. Now, you two must learn to trust each other, and care for each other in this journey."
Just when Jyn thought the moment couldn't get any more awkward, Dr. Baze Malbus also came in through the door. "Is this old dreamer trying to tell you about one of his visions?"
"Oh, no dear… I was congratulating them on the start of their family."
Cassian looked like he wanted to melt into the floor and never return.
Baze raised his eyebrows, seeing the look on their faces. "Well, would you look at that. Even a broken clock is right twice a day."
Chirrut snapped back, "He only laughs because he knows that I'm right."
In spite of herself, Jyn smiled at Chirrut. The chaplain did indeed have an uncanny ability to predict events before they occurred, and to sense the feelings of those around him. It was one of many reasons why Chirrut was so good at his job. His infectious optimism caught the attention of the man who was now his husband, Dr. Baze Malbus. Dr. Malbus, a pragmatic surgical oncologist, had been on the brink of experiencing serious burn-out when he met Chirrut. They quickly fell in love, and had moved in together after dating for three months. Their partnership had been long-lasting, with Baze getting to watch Chirrut train many of the children that he himself had operated on. Jyn loved watching them together- they were one of the few couples she didn't feel intensely uncomfortable around. Their happiness with one another lifted everyone else who knew them.
Tugging at Chirrut's arm, Baze muttered, "Let's go… I think we're making them uncomfortable."
With a friendly wave, Baze and Chirrut made their exit, leaving Jyn to deal with a mortified Cassan, and to wonder how much longer their secret could stay so.
Out of the silence, Cassian muttered, "You are so paying for this when we get home."
That night, Jyn and Cassian laid tangled in his sheets, sweaty and gasping for breath. Cassian had one arm wrapped around her naked waist, with his free hand rubbing slowly across her stomach. Jyn's face was cradled in his shoulder.
As Cassian drifted off to sleep, Jyn was still wide awake. She couldn't stop thinking about something he had let slip during sex earlier. He had told her that he only wanted her, and the words had hit her like a stab to the heart. There was nothing she wanted more than a family, but she wasn't sure if she had room in her heart for the babies and Cassian. Jyn could no longer deny that she cared about Cassian, wanted him at a level deeper than sexual attraction. Even so, she could choose to ignore those feelings.
Sighing wearily, Jyn blinked away tears of pain and frustration. She didn't often succumb to bouts of self-pity, but it was difficult not to when she felt so vulnerable in Cassian's arms. Visions of her childhood, and the hopes and dreams of her teenage years, danced through her mind, teasing her with their innocent perspective of the world. If there was anything that her time on this Earth had taught her, it was that being in love was a weakness. Given time, the love you felt for someone else would find a way to break you. Jyn had seen the parents of her patients crippled with grief, and had watched her own father waste away after the death of her mother. Jyn could handle some amount of loss- this she knew. But she was unsure of what her threshold for the acute pain of heartbreak was.
What if something happened to one (or both) of the babies? Would they support each other through the grief, or would pain drive a wedge between them? Could she trust herself not to push him away? She anxiously vacillated between two scenarios:
One, telling Cassian that she wanted to try a relationship with him. Jyn was notoriously terrible at relationships- she hadn't had much practice in her life. Cassian would eventually leave her out of sheer frustration, and then Jyn would be a heartbroken single parent.
Two, not telling Cassian her feelings. Jyn and Cassian could co-parent successfully, and Jyn would quietly pine for him. Eventually, he would find someone else, and start a family with that woman. Jyn would, once again, be a heartbroken single parent.
Overwhelmed by the buzzing in her mind, the tension in her shoulders, the grinding of her teeth, a wracking sob from deep within her caught Jyn by surprise. Unfortunately, it didn't just catch her- as soon as the hiccupping gulp of air passed her lips, Cassian startled awake. Quickly turning to her, his brow furrowed with concern, he reached up and stroked her cheek.
"What's wrong, Jyn?"
Jyn pressed her lips together tightly, refusing to let her words betray her. She just shook her head sharply, digging her nails into her palm and clenching every muscle in her body. Forcing her breaths to come in and out more slowly. She would take what she had now- whatever this was. She refused to ruin it.
Cassian continued to watch her silently, carefully. When it became evident that Jyn would not speak, he settled his head against the pillow, never taking his eyes off her. It tore at him to watch her struggle to grasp her composure. He didn't want Jyn to hide her pain from him. While he knew that he couldn't fix it for her, he wanted to help her shoulder the burden.
Suddenly, Jyn froze, and her eyes widened. Cassian sat up abruptly, concerned that something was wrong. Well, more wrong than whatever she was currently wrestling with. He started to open his mouth to ask, but she threw out a hand and clenched his forearm.
Slowly starting to smile, Jyn slid her hand down to her belly. Looking at Cassian then, warmth shining in her eyes past the tears, she murmured, "I just felt them move."
Cassian sat up, his own face breaking into a wide grin. He pressed his hand up against her stomach. Disappointment colored his features when he couldn't feel anything after a few minutes.
"They're probably too small for you to feel them yet. Soon they'll be big enough."
Cassian nodded, still a little envious that Jyn got to feel their children moving about before he did. He pressed his lips to her stomach, relieved that Jyn's mood had improved with this sudden development. Sliding up her body, he pressed his lips against hers, then pulled away and tucked her head under his stubbled chin. Kissing her on the top of her head, he soothed, "Try to sleep now, Jyn. Everything will be alright. We'll figure this out together."
Jyn relaxed a little in his arms, and burrowed herself into his warmth. He fell asleep inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo.
Cassian sat at his lab bench, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He had been staring at slides all day, and looking at wet mounts always made him feel seasick. He leaned back in his chair, wincing as he heard his back cracking back into place. Kay had called out sick that day- he was a ridiculous hypochondriac, and would panic at the slightest onset of illness. Cassian was left to complete his work as well as Kay's, and because he didn't want to disappoint Dr. Draven, he had worked through his lunch hour.
As he started typing up his next pathology report, he was pleasantly surprised by Jyn coming through the elevator doors. His face fell a little at her tense expression.
"Are you alright?" he inquired.
Biting her lip, she hedged, "Let's go talk in your office."
Cassian nodded shortly, leading Jyn over to his office and closing the blinds. The last thing he needed was a lab tech (or Draven) coming through and trying to snoop on his conversation with Jyn. After he had shut the door, he looked at Jyn with concern.
"Is everything okay with you? Are the babies alright?"
Jyn grinned coyly. "Don't worry, they're fine. I just wanted to get you alone."
"Jyn." He would have chastised her, but he knew it wouldn't make a difference. When Jyn Erso wanted something, she usually got it.
"After you fucked me so well in my office yesterday, I thought I should return the favor."
"Thank you, but Jyn, Draven's office is around the corner from here."
"Then you'll have to be good for me and keep quiet."
Cassian quietly moaned at her words. Jyn kneeled in front of him, already removing his pants. As she slipped off his boxers, he hissed a little when the cool air hit his cock. He closed his eyes with pleasure as the cold was replaced with the warmth of Jyn's mouth. Cassian choked out gasps of air as she took as much of him into her as she could. One of her hands reached up to cup his testicles, gently tugging at them and running her fingernails along the sensitive skin. When she reached back to massage at his perineum, he bucked into her mouth, before quietly apologizing and running his fingers through her hair.
Withdrawing with a soft pop, Jyn looked into Cassian's eyes.
"Don't apologize. I like to watch you lose control."
Continuing to hold his gaze, she lewdly ran her tongue from base to tip of his penis. When she reached the tip, she teased his slit, prompting another thrust of his hips. Licking her finger, she cupped the slight curve of his ass in one of her hands before reaching in and slowly working him open with the tip of her finger. She took his cock back into her mouth, massaging the base firmly with her tongue.
Cassian was losing control, reduced to a gasping, quivering mess by Jyn's mouth and hands. He covered his mouth to stop a cry when a stray hand reached up and caressed one of his nipples through his shirt. Curses in Spanish and English spilled from his lips, and he questioned how he got so lucky.
Jyn slid her mouth back off him then. Once again capturing his eyes, she purred, "You worked for it, because you're so good."
She slid her mouth back over him, and applied more suction as she withdrew at an agonizingly slow pace. Simultaneously, he felt her finger move deeper into him, and he gasped at the intrusion.
"You always know how to make me come, how to take care of me. You're always giving so much, because you are so good, Cassian."
She pushed her finger a little deeper, and he keened out her name, muffled behind the cover of his hand.
"Do you like this? Do you like me working you open like this, taking me inside of you?"
Cassian nodded frantically, unable to form words. He clenched down on her as her finger massaged at his prostate.
Jyn kissed her way up and down his length, running the tip of her tongue underneath the hood of his foreskin. She kissed his hips then, continuing to work her finger inside of him. Nipping at a point of bone on his hip, she murmured, "Does it excite you? Knowing that there's a part of you inside of me? Knowing that you put it there?"
Closing his eyes, sweat beading on his forehead, Cassian hummed in affirmation. This torture was so exquisite, he felt like he was going to die but he never wanted it to end. He begged Jyn not to stop, choking out the words between short gasps and long moans.
"I want you to come for me, Cassian. You've been so good, taken me so well. Come for me." With that, Jyn took him back into her mouth, and she moaned filthily as Cassian let himself come into her. His breath puffed out in gasps as his cum spilled from him, hot and slick. He shook so intensely he thought he would pass out, and he bit down onto his fist to keep from crying out loudly. He slowly slid down the wall as Jyn released him from her mouth and withdrew her finger from him. Wiping her mouth on the back of her arm, she gave him a satisfied grin. He closed his eyes, groaned with a mix of satisfaction and exhaustion. Jyn darted to his bathroom, and he was vaguely aware of her washing her hands before she came back out and pulled him into her arms.
Resting his head in her lap, Cassian shuddered as Jyn carded her fingers through his thick locks.
"Thank you," she murmured.
His chocolatey eyes opened in surprise. "You're thanking me?"
She nodded, smiling at him. "It takes a lot of trust to be like that with someone. I can't be that vulnerable. At least not yet." She dipped forward and pressed her lips firmly to his, trying to convey all her truths and uncertainties within the kiss.
"I was very… tense today. I've never done that with anyone before, but I needed that. And you just knew, somehow." He stared at her in wonder.
Jyn smirked wryly. "Maybe this whole co-parenting thing has given us telepathy."
He quirked up the corner of his mouth, and settled into the thick, comfortable silence between them. They laid there with Jyn soothing him down from his high for at least five minutes before either spoke again.
"I've been thinking. About what you brought up on Monday morning."
"How our hospital needs to invest in a self-cleaning cryostat?"
Jyn rolled her eyes. "No, about the house."
Cassian tensed then, but Jyn's quieting hand on his shoulder reduced his wariness. "What about the house?"
"You're right. We should go house-shopping, and while you certainly don't have to help out financially, it would mean a lot if you did."
Cassian arched an eyebrow at Jyn's unusually generous speech. "Where's all this coming from?"
She shook her head. "Well… some of it came from Bodhi. But I meant what I told you earlier; you've been good to me. I want you to be a part of the babies' lives in every way. I think you should move in with us. That is, if you want to." She couldn't hold his eye contact then, and Cassian's heart softened at the vulnerable, nervous expression on her countenance. "Besides, I'll need the help. I can't be the only one changing dirty diapers."
Cassian had always been the type of person to carefully plan big decisions. He was proud of this trait, and yet… when he heard Jyn's offer, he didn't need to think for more than a second. Sitting up to kiss her, he murmured his acceptance of her offer. He cradled her head to his chest, because he understood what she needed in this moment, just as she had understood his needs earlier. He kissed the top of her head and quietly reassured her. "I want this. Thank you for offering me this."
"I do not want to live in a house with all carpet."
Cassian sighed. He had thought that house-hunting with Jyn would be easy. Little did he know that she had watched one too many episodes of House Hunters on HGTV while drunk. For someone who cared so little about external appearances, she was ridiculously picky about home features.
"Let me guess, you also want an open floor plan, eight bedrooms, granite countertops, and the state's best schools in our neighborhood? And five grocery stores within walking distance?"
"I'd settle for quartz countertops," Jyn said primly.
They had been looking on real estate websites for three hours, with no end in sight. Every home that Cassian showed Jyn had some glaring issue that was too big for her to overlook.
Throwing up his hands, Cassian growled, "Let's go for a drive. The first house that I crash into because I'm distracted by our arguing is the house that we'll buy."
"You know that the car crash risk for pregnant women spikes by 42% in the second trimester."
"NOT NOW, KAY," Jyn and Cassian both shouted.
Cassian rubbed his hand across his face. Kay had bought his first home two years ago, so when Cassian mentioned that he and Jyn would be house hunting, his best friend had kindly offered to assist. Cassian should have known that it would be a bad idea, but he kept hoping that Jyn and Kay would develop their own friendship if they spent enough time together. Clearly this was not an environment conducive to friendship.
"Kay, Jyn and I are going for a drive. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Cassian, remember- placental abruption is the greatest risk for a pregnant woman in a car accident where air bags deploy."
Watching Jyn's eyes widen in fear, Cassian grabbed her hand, and glared at Kay, hissing, "I'll deal with you later," as he slammed the door to his apartment behind them.
"Jyn, Kay is trying to be helpful in his own way. I think he actually is concerned about you- that's a good sign."
Jyn ignored Cassian, intently focusing on some bumble bees flocking around a blooming azalea bush in front of his car. Cassian slid into the driver's seat, and frowned when Jyn didn't follow suit in the passenger's seat.
"Jyn, are you coming?"
"Give me a fucking moment, okay?" she snapped.
Cassian leaned back into his seat, feeling guilty. Clearly Kay's words had affected her more than he thought. He watched with concern as Jyn's hands trembled while she hesitantly opened the door to the passenger's seat. Sliding in, jaw set with determination, Jyn muttered, "Let's go."
Cassian drove into one of the neighborhoods that he and Jyn had liked. He made sure to be extra cautious, braking more slowly, spending an extra few seconds at stop signs.
"My mother died in a car accident."
Cassian carefully schooled his expression to remain neutral. He knew that if he expressed too much cloying sympathy, Jyn would close herself off again. Instead, he slid one hand across the console to take hers.
Jyn intently focused on pressing each of her fingertips against his. "I was in the car with her when the accident happened. I really shouldn't call it an accident. My father always believed that she was murdered."
At that, Cassian looked to Jyn in shock. Flicking on his turn signal, he pulled his black sedan into the nearest parking lot. Throwing the car into park, he turned to Jyn, a thousand questions racing through his mind. He wouldn't press. She would continue when she was ready.
"Have you heard of Empire Chemical?"
Cassian shook his head. Jyn's mouth twisted into a bitter smirk. "You probably wouldn't have, you were still in Mexico at the time when everything happened. They were a huge chemical manufacturer back in the late 80s and early 90s."
Taking a deep breath, she continued. "My father was a chemical engineer, and my mother was a bench chemist. They both worked in the R&D section of Empire Chemical. A man named Orson Krennic was the head of their section, and he always considered my father to be a great asset to the company."
"The town that we lived in at the time started seeing many pediatric cancer cases, higher than what would typically be expected. Mama became concerned, and she started investigating more deeply into what might be causing the cases. She found out that almost all the children developing cancer were living near the Empire Chemical plant."
Cassian's eyes widened. He felt like he knew where Jyn's story was leading, and the conclusions being drawn in his mind made him feel sick.
"Mama started discreetly gathering data from work, and she discovered that 1,2 dichloropropane was being dumped into a nearby river. That river was also one of the main water supplies for the town."
"Jesus Christ," Cassian growled.
Jyn's hands shook and her face pinched as she resumed speaking. Cassian squeezed her hand more tightly, trying to reassure her. "Mama told Papa what she had found, and he was gutted. He had been working on a project using 1,2-dichloropropane, so he felt directly responsible. Mama decided that she was going to take her findings and bring them to a national newspaper- try to shine a spotlight on the issue."
"Somehow Krennic found out. Mama gave Papa a floppy disk and hard copy of all her research, and made him hide it in case anything happened. The next day, we were in the accident. We were just driving down the road, it was a quiet Saturday morning, and a car flew into the intersection and T-boned our car."
Cassian's chest ached as he watched tears come to her eyes. Jyn sobbed, "She kept telling me that everything was going to be okay, even though she was dying. I was so terrified, my car seat protected me but I could see her bleeding and I knew it was bad. The paramedics pulled me out, but I never got to say goodbye."
Tears were pouring down Jyn's cheeks now. "Papa went to the New York Times the next day, left them with everything. The story broke, and charges were filed, the company was disassembled. Papa was given a plea agreement in exchange for his testimony, so he never served any time."
Suddenly, a look of anger flashed in her eyes. "He never got over her death. All through my childhood, he would constantly ask me what I remembered about the car crash. The driver who hit me and Mama got away before the police arrived. Papa would ask me at least once a week if I remembered anything new. So I had to relive that trauma over and over again. I felt like it was my fault that Mama's killer got away."
"Jyn, no," Cassian whispered. He pulled her head to him, pressed his lips firmly to her crown. "You were a child, and you were terrified. How could you have known?"
Gritting her teeth, Jyn intoned, "Papa seemed to think otherwise. And I guess I just wasn't enough for him. He hung around through my childhood and teenage years, and while I was never hungry or wanting for anything, he was just a shell of a person. I felt like he didn't want me there, that he would trade me to have Mama back."
"When I went off to college, he seemed happy. I thought he might finally be doing better. But a month into my freshman year…"
Jyn pulled in a shuddering breath. Cassian watched her guardedly. "You can stop if you want to, Jyn. You don't have to tell if you don't want to."
Jyn met his gaze fiercely. "I need you to understand."
Cassian relented, nodding for her to continue.
"Papa killed himself a month into my freshman year. All those years without Mama took their toll on him. And then I was alone. Saw, a friend of Papa's, tried to help when he could- but Saw was an environmental activist and was always away at protests and events for his organization. So it was really just me. It's been just me for a long time."
"You've been so brave, Jyn," Cassian admired.
Jyn snorted. "There's a difference between bravery and doing what you need to survive."
Her words hit a bit too close to home for him. He was all too familiar with the concept of just trying to survive- it was how he had lived most of his life. Rubbing his thumb along the top of Jyn's hand, he was acutely aware of how much her life and her pain had mirrored his own. Was that what attracted him to her? He saw her pain and hoped that, by fixing hers, he could repair his own?
He was stirred back out of his thoughts when Jyn resumed her story. "That's how I met Mon Mothma. I was a biochemistry student in undergraduate, and I joined the chemistry honors fraternity. I had to do service hours each semester, and I chose to volunteer at the local hospital. Of course, I got placed in the pediatric oncology ward- I suppose it was the universe's way of making me do penance for my father's mistakes."
"Mon Mothma quickly figured out who I was, and who Papa was. She had actually served as an expert witness for the prosecution in the government's case against Empire Chemical. And I remember that she took me into her office one day, and told me that I could use my life experiences to help improve the lives of others. I basically told her to fuck off that day, but I figured out pretty quickly that I missed the kids. I came back, and that summer she took me on as an intern in her research lab. The rest is history."
Cassian sighed heavily, running his hand down his face. "Let's go back to your place, Jyn. We'll do house-hunting tomorrow. We'll take the afternoon off, watch Fawlty Towers, eat some chocolate, I'll make chilaquiles."
Jyn, eyes still glistening with tears, looked at him gratefully and nodded. As he pressed his lips to the back of her hand, Cassian felt for the first time that he and Jyn were becoming a team.