Author Note:

Thanks to everyone for the love you've shown this story! Your reviews/tweets/follows and favs always make my day.

I hope you enjoy this update just as much; there will be one more chapter (and an M-rated additional chapter) which take us up to the end of that evening... before we get into what I consider season 6 territory!

I'd thank NoOrdinaryLines for her continued harassment while I wrote this but she'd probably accuse me of enjoying it too much ;) This chapter is for you though AC!

Thank you also to thahcn for working her beta magic and for understanding the crazy ways in which my mind functions. Love you Tatah!

-Leigh

Disclaimer:

I'm actually just a starving university student, with a penchant for playing with other people's toys.

Convergence

Chapter Two

"You ready to head home?" Castle murmurs, breath warm against the side of her face. Home. He said home and the words fill her with relief and another emotion, which she either is unable or unwilling to place. They're back at the swings now and usually Kate wouldn't engage in such a public display of affection, but the realization of how close she came to losing him has made her unusually vulnerable. She's sat on his lap, his arms laced tightly around her body, holding her against his chest. Her legs rest in the space between his keeping them both balanced.

"In a few minutes," The wind has picked up now, the sky has clouded over and there's a distinct evening chill in the air. She's beginning to feel the cold now but it's not enough to make her anymore willing to move, and she'll deny it if he asks. Here there's a sense of peacefulness- they've reached an agreement that they're going to work at this but she's also beginning to feel uneasy. She knows it's all too easy to sit there and make promises in the heat of the moment and now her mind has caught up with her heart she's scared, so damn scared that she's going to screw this up.

"Stop thinking so loudly," she must be gripping him tighter than she realizes because he releases his arms from around her waist, much to her discomfort. "Stand up," she does as he says and he gently turns her to face him, lacing their fingers together. Kate is steadfastly refusing to meet his gaze and blinking back tears, so he uses his free hand to tilt her head upwards. "Kate?"

She finally glances up at him, but she doesn't trust her voice not to give her away, "please don't do this - don't put those walls back up again. Talk to me instead?"

That does it. She doesn't know whether it's the concern in his voice or the look in his eyes which causes her to crack, but her tears spill over and when she speaks her words are barely audible, "I don't know if I know how to do this Rick," she admits. "I'm scared."

"It's okay to be scared," Castle lets her hand drop so he can use both of his to cup her cheeks, "we can be scared together."

Kate blinks away the tears blighting her vision, "You're afraid too?" How did she not notice this? Has she really been burying her head in her work for that long, that she's become oblivious to what is really important?

Castle gives a humorless laugh, "Afraid? Kate, I'm terrified - terrified that one day this isn't going to be enough for you anymore, that you'll want more and that you'll resent me because you could have had it. I'm terrified that one day I'll wake up and find you gone, because I pushed too hard, or that -" he stops speaking, drawing in a shallow breath. "That you'll wake up to realize how extraordinary you are and that you deserve so much more than I can ever give you."

Kate can hear the raw emotion in his voice, she can see the barely contained fear flickering behind his eyes and it makes her heart hurt. She grabs hold of him again in the aftermath of his confession. Somehow though, she is bizzarely able to draw strength from knowing that he's just as scared as she is. "Castle, I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that now, but-"

"Summer three years ago-" she interrupts, and Castle just looks at her, not having a clue where she's going with this.

"I'm only gonna admit this once, but the day I watched you leave with Gina, I realized that we could've been something, that I wanted us to be something. I'm not gonna say I loved you then; maybe I did or maybe that happened later. Summer two years ago-"

The words stick in her throat and she has to really fight not to go back to that day in the cemetery. His eyes are overly bright and lifts their joined hands and holds them against her chest, so they can both feel the life-affirming - albeit slightly elevated - pounding of her heart. "I lay on the ground dying, and it was you telling me to stay with you. You told me you loved me."

"I did.."

"Last summer Castle, last summer you walked away and I nearly died a second time because I couldn't even accept that you were right. You put yourself in danger to protect me, and I threw it all back in your face. I was consumed by the idea that you'd betrayed me, angry that you'd hidden it from me and in the end it took me nearly dying to realize that none of it mattered anymore - not if you weren't there. I told you a year ago that I just wanted you, and I meant it."

"It has always been you Rick." She watches the expression on his face change and it's the same look of awe he wore when she first told him, the same look he always wears when she tells him that she loves him.

"And I know the reason I've kept coming back to you is because I know we're good together- but at the same time I don't know how to make us work.. and that scares me." The words are exhaled on a sigh, and her forehead rests against his, emotional exhaustion beginning to take its toll.

She's dimly aware that it has started to rain, but he doesn't express a desire to take this conversation elsewhere so they continue to hold onto each other and when she next speaks, her desperation is apparent, "what are we going to do?"

Kate's words seem to have sparked a renewed reassurance in Castle, "Well tonight we're gonna go pick up a Chinese and curl up on the couch with a movie and a glass of wine." She manages a wan smile at this, "and then if it's all the same to you, I plan on taking you to bed and repeatedly reminding you how much I love you."

His words strike a chord somewhere within her and she's powerless to prevent a few more tears from leaking beneath closed lids, which Castle automatically uses his thumb to brush away, "And tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow, we start over. We take this a day at a time, and we do it together. Just please don't run away from this again because-" She watches him swallow hard, "because I don't know if I can do this again Kate. It's together or-"

Or not at all. The alternative is unthinkable, and neither of them can voice it but they both know they can't put each other through this again. "Together," she affirms. Tears slide steadily down her face mingling with the rain but her eyes are shining again and when she presses her lips to his, her kiss is soft and so achingly sweet, but at the same time there's an underlying desperation there. She pulls back slightly to speak, fingers tracing his slightly swollen lips, "I'm not running away Castle, and I'm sorry that it even seemed like an option. I'm so sorry."

His cheeks are damp too now, and it's impossible to determine who moves first, but their lips converge and her breathing hitches a familiar heat radiating through her entire mid-section. Castle's hands slide over her now drenched clothing, gripping her hips and dragging her against his solid frame. He swallows the noises she makes, and tries to aid her when she determinedly presses herself closer to him, winding her arms around his neck. "Let's go home?" he whispers breathlessly against her lips.

Kate starts to nod, turning her head away to answer, but her teeth sink into her bottom lip and her frown lines have returned, "actually, there's something I need to do first."

They drive back to the precinct, the rain lashing down harder against the glass of Kate's cruiser. She catches sight of Castle's watch and notes that it's just after seven. Captain Gates will have already left for the evening, so that conversation will have to wait until tomorrow but Ryan and Esposito should still be around.

In the elevator up to the bullpen Kate can tell that her nervousness must be radiating off her in waves, because Castle has moved in closer to her, his hand resting on the small of her back and she gives him a weak smile, drawing comfort from the gesture. The doors open and this late in the day the place is no longer a hive of activity, so you can hear a pin drop as her heels click across the floor. The next shift aren't due on for another hour and with the exception of Ryan and Esposito the bullpen is pretty much empty.

They haven't noticed them standing there yet so Kate allows herself a moment to regain her bearing; she smiles as she watches Esposito aim a wad of paper towards the trash can only to miss it completely, and sudden laughter bubbles up in her throat as she hears Ryan mock him. For the first time over the past few days, her equilibrium seems to have been restored and she no longer feels off-center. This is where she's supposed to be. This is home.

She swallows hard, clearing her throat and stooping to pick up a paper plane which has landed at her feet, "Anyone would think you guys had paperwork to be doing?" Kate quips, tossing the piece of paper back onto Ryan's desk.

"Yo Becks!"

"Hey Beckett, Castle!" Ryan turns his attention to the writer, who drops into his usual space next to Kate's desk.

"Everything okay?" Esposito asks, his gaze flicking between them and lingering on Kate's still reddened eyes, before swiveling to Castle and - she knows - leaving him feeling slightly uneasy.

"Everything's fine Espo," she assures him, giving an almost imperceptible nod and trying to communicate the message with her eyes. "Can we talk though guys, if you've got a second?"

Kate pretends not to notice the look she sees her boys exchange, before Ryan drops the paper plane he was attempting to fix onto his desk, "sure, I could use a coffee," he answers easily, "Javi?"

"Right behind you bro," her Hispanic colleague reaches for his mug and follows after Ryan, leaving Castle and Beckett alone.

He doesn't move from his chair, sensing she'd rather not have an audience for this particular conversation and figuring that if she wants him to come along, she'll ask. "Give me a few minutes and we can get outta here?" She checks.

"Take as long as you need, I'm not going anywhere," Castle assures her, pulling up Candy Crush on his phone and settling down to tackle the level he's been stuck on for almost a fortnight.

She's spent the past year lecturing him on keeping their behavior strictly professional at the precinct, which is why he's momentarily distracted from the game when Kate leans down and brushes her lips across his, "thanks," she whispers. Her lips curve up slightly in a shy smile and then she walks away, glancing back at him before pushing open the door to the break room.

Esposito is lounging against the counter, and Ryan is busy working the espresso machine when Kate walks in, "Coffee Beckett?"

"No, thanks Ryan," he knows he's won't be surprised or offended when she refuses; because they all know that Castle is the only one she'll allow to bring her coffee, that it's their thing. Kate drags a hand through her soaked tresses and a tense silence lingers between the three of them which she allows to continue while she figures out how to explain.

"There's something I need to tell you," Kate starts eventually, hesitantly, and she leans against the closed door for support, "but first I owe you an apology." Both Ryan and Esposito are looking at her blankly, waiting for her to elaborate. "I think it's fair to say that I haven't given this case my full attention, and I've just expected you guys to cover for me even though - even though I've been keeping you in the dark about what has been going on. So I'm sorry for that."

Ryan gives a small shrug, because talking about things has never really been their style, "it's not like you wouldn't do the same for either of us," he points out.

"Does this have anything to do with your fight with Castle?" Espo asks, cutting to the chase and for once she's glad for his direct attitude because although the words are on the tip of her tongue she has no idea how to broach the subject.

Kate takes a deep breath and nods, and it's probably the most uncomfortable they've ever seen her look - but at least she's not on the verge of tears again. "I've been offered a job," she says, her voice carrying in the silence of the room and she's grateful that she manages to keep it steady.

"A job? A promotion or-?" Ryan's voice trails off, and she can feel both he and Espo eyeing her intently.

A sigh escapes and she moves further into the room, dropping onto one of the chairs, "It's in DC," she finds herself barely glancing at them as she speaks, "with the FBI. I flew out there for an interview and they offered me the position this afternoon."

"And I'm guessing Castle didn't take the news well?" Espo comments.

Kate was unable to meet their eyes before, but is now studiously staring at a fixed point on the wall behind them, "That would be an understatement," she laughs hollowly. "Of course, he might have been more accepting of it if I'd been straight with him from the beginning," she concedes.

Again she notices the looks that Ryan and Esposito exchange, "And how long has this been on the cards?" She knows what Ryan is really asking, is how long she's been hiding this from them because the hurt clearly laces both their words. How on earth did she get this so badly wrong?

"About a week," she answers quietly, and second guessing Espo's next question continues before he has to ask. "I didn't tell Castle about it until after I'd flown out to DC for the interview and- " there's a moment of hesitation, "and only then because he found my boarding pass."

Esposito lets out a low whistle, "Oh man- so that's why you guys had a fight?"

"I think World War III broke out in my kitchen the other night," she sighs. "Castle was right though. I shouldn't have kept it from him, but we've talked it out and I think we're on the same page now," she pauses to give them time to digest what she's saying.

"He uh - he proposed to me this afternoon," she says this bit so quietly they almost miss it. The shock registers on Espo's face first, and he glances across at Ryan who proceeds to choke on a mouthful of coffee.

Esposito's eyes fall to her left hand, "and I'm guessing by the fact you're not wearing a ginormous rock equivalent to about a years wages, that you said no?"

"Are you mad bro? This is Castle - it's about time-" Ryan catches sight of the slightly amused look that's crept across Kate's face, "you did say yes, didn't you?"

"Marriage is on the table," she admits, a light blush creeping up across her cheeks, "but I said no, for now. We're just gonna take things a day at a time."

"Have you decided what you're gonna do about the job though?" Ryan asks.

"Yes I have," She lets the words out in a breath, "I've decided not to take it-" Esposito looks set to interject so she holds up a hand to silence him, "I realized that all the reasons I thought I had for wanting the job were wrong. It's an incredible opportunity, but it isn't the right one for me. This is what I know how to do, what I want to be doing. My place is here at the 12th."

With you guys. Kate doesn't say it in so many words, but she knows that they know. Silence has descended on the group again, and she can tell the guys are feeling slightly uncomfortable with the sentimentality floating about, "anyway, I just thought it was time I came clean," she says. "I'm gonna get off guys, it's been a long few days but I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," chorus the boys, and she can't help feeling like they've let her off the hook way too easily.

"Yo Kate?" Espo calls after her as she's about to leave, and she turns back to face him, "next time you get your head up your ass, at least keep us in the loop eh?"

A small smile graces her face and she stares between the slatted blinds, giving her a view of the bullpen. "There's not gonna be a next time," she watches Castle throw up his hands in either celebration or despair, her grin widens and she turns back to Ryan and Esposito. "I have everything I need right here."