Author Note:

Thank you all so much for your lovely reviews, and for the warm reception the last chapter received. It's nice to know I haven't lost my touch. I'd forgotten how much joy writing for this fandom used to bring me, and it's been almost cathartic to be able to reconnect with my writing after so much time has passed. I was intending to update again last year but the months just ran away with me. To that end, i've decided that this year is going to be my year of finishing things… so hopefully watch this space.

Happy New Year guys! :)

Leigh

Chapter Five

Back at the loft, Castle had managed to get back to sleep after his impromptu wake up call, but he's now unable to ignore the sudden bright light cast over his room - the curtain doing little to prevent it from temporarily impairing his vision. He rolls over, burying his face in the Egyptian cotton bedding where the lingering scent of the night before remains. Inhaling deeply, her aftertaste is still trapped at the back of his throat, and desire is beginning to override any trace of tiredness. He's beginning to wish he'd been a little more insistent on her coming back to bed. He loosely ties his robe and pads into the kitchen, rubbing his bleary eyes and running a hand through sleep messed hair. The faint strains of a headache are beginning to brew at his temples and his mouth is dry but it's nothing a freshly brewed cup of coffee and two aspirin won't fix.

With this thought in mind he kickstarts the espresso machine, eyes instantly landing on the pink sticky note attached to the chrome. His stomach rumbles loudly at the mention of pastries, alerting him to the need for sustenance and when he opens the fridge he comes to the conclusion that his mother's latest beau must be a baker. Biting into a vanilla crown, his thoughts turn to breakfast.

Surveying the contents of the of the fridge again he eventually settles on pancakes and fruit, carrying several cartons over to the island in the middle of the kitchen. The room is silent apart from the low hum of Castle's electrical appliances and the slap of his bare feet against the tiled floor. He turns the old fashioned radio above the microwave down before switching it on, but it is still loud enough that he doesn't hear Alexis enter the room.

"I didn't know you knew there were two 7 o'clocks in a day," His daughter teases, perching herself on one of the barstools at the counter, avoiding the raspberry he chucks in her direction in response.

"Funny" Castle comments, offering her a plate of freshly made pancakes. "You're up early today. I thought classes didn't start until 11 on Thursday."

Alexis reaches for a bowl of sliced strawberries, "They don't," She manages through a mouthful of food. "I need to drop off my Costa Rica cheque, there's a seminar about the trip at 10 and I wanted to stop by the library first." She watches as her Dad flips another pancake from the pan, onto another plate keeping warm, and her brow furrows as she listens to him humming along to the radio under his breath. "You're in a better mood this morning," She observes.

Castle considers Alexis' words for a minute before replying. "I guess you could say, I've finally seen things for how they really are," He recalls their conversation from yesterday.

"And how are they?"

"They're a lot more hopeful than I thought they were."

The young redhead's nose crinkles in confusion, "Is this a Detective Beckett thing?" Her dad doesn't answer but the renewed twinkle in his eye and the remarkable change of attitude seems to be all the confirmation Alexis needs. "I'm happy for you, Dad." She gets down from the stool and goes to hug him, humouring him when he holds her tighter than he would usually. What happened in Paris is starting to become a distant memory for her now, but she knows almost losing her has been a lot harder for her dad to try and come to terms with. "Okay, you can let me go now." She says eventually. "I need to go finish getting ready."

"Sorry, pumpkin." Castle releases Alexis from his grip, dropping a kiss on her forehead, "Have a good day. Be safe okay?"

Alexis rolls her eyes as she ascends the stairs. She doesn't dignify it with a response, but they both know he'll call at least three times over the course of the day to check in, as well as blowing up her phone constantly with memes that only he finds amusing.

About twenty minutes have passed and Castle is now busy making waffles, when he hears the click of the loft door and Kate tumbling through it, breathing laboured and completely soaked to the skin. "Right on time!" Castle announces, tossing her a towel.

Kate rubs it across her face, and loops it around her neck, accepting a bottle of chilled water with a grateful smile. She drains half of it in a single mouthful, placing it back on the countertop. Her nose wrinkles up in that way he finds adorable, "Something smells good." She leans in for a quick kiss.

Castle reciprocates, pulling her slim frame against him so they're chest-to-chest, and deepening the kiss, not even caring about the damp patches she's leaving all over his shirt. His hands stray to the hem of her tank top, teasing it upwards and leaving her toned stomach bare. He's beginning an assault on the side of her neck now and she squirms under his touch. "Mhmm, Castle, stop it!" she huffs out, trying to untangle herself from his grip.

He smirks. He might believe her if she was any better at keeping the affection out of her voice. "And I haven't even started," Castle murmurs suggestively, his lips exploring her skin and dipping into the hollow of her throat. The breathy sighs that keep escaping tell him her resolve is weakening, and she does nothing to prevent him dragging her top even further up her body.

They're so wrapped up in each other that they don't hear the footsteps on the stairs, nor the loud cough that's courtesy of Castle's daughter. "Daaad, a little warning would be nice."

Kate jumps back from him, her cheeks already flaming and she's thankful that he's moved slightly in front of her, affording her seconds to make herself presentable. "Morning Alexis."

"Hi Kate," the young redhead replies awkwardly, not quite able to meet her eyes and instead focusing on making sure she has everything for the day in her backpack.

"Busy day today?" Beckett stumbles over the words, despite them all being two syllables or less.

"Yeah, I've got a Costa Rica seminar, 5 hours of class and then some group work tonight." In a complete contrast to Kate, Alexis finds herself rambling.

"Well this has been sufficiently awkward," Castle jumps in, in an attempt to diffuse the tension between them. "Sorry, pumpkin!"

Alexis just shrugs, reaching for a piece of toast, "You say it like it's the first time you've ever mentally scarred me." She says, giving her dad a sidelong glance and Castle thinks she has possibly spent a little too much time in the company of his detective. "I'll catch you guys later."

Kate manages a grin at that, 'have a good day," she finally manages to speak. "Be careful okay?" The words come naturally, but she's consciously aware that they're both staring at her and she turns her head away from their gaze, embarrassed.

"I always am," Alexis replies easily; if she's fazed by it, she doesn't let it show. "Thanks Kate." She grabs her bag and takes her leave.

"How did you get away with that?" The loft door has shut behind Alexis, and Castle's stood there pouting slightly. "I remind her to be safe and get a lecture on how she's not a little kid anymore… but you parented her, and she let you."

"I don't know what you're talking about." The blush on Kate's cheeks is back, and he can pinpoint the exact moment she realises what he's getting at. Her eyes have widened and the phrase deer trapped in the headlights springs to mind.

"Why don't you finish laying the table?" She's studiously avoiding meeting his eyes now, making it clear that this isn't something she's ready to talk about. "I can grab a shower and be out in 10 minutes."

Kate showers in record time and true to her word, ten minutes later she's back. Castle has finished slicing the last of the fruit and started carrying the plates to the table. He looks up at the sound of her bare feet on the kitchen tiles.

"Hungry?"

"Absolutely starving," she admits, her lips curving up into a smile. Its just as well, because he always seems to make enough breakfast to feed their entire police precinct and today is no exception. She's relieved he seems to have let their previous conversation lay. "You?"

Castle moves further into the room, standing behind her and reaching around her to snatch a piece of fruit from the bowl in her hands. Kate gives him a look, but doesn't try to stop him. "I could eat," He mutters suggestively, hands sliding down to her waist and pulling her against him.

"Hungry for food," She emphasises, trying to come across as stern but failing miserably, the lightness in her heart completely reflected in her voice. Instead of replying, he reaches out again for her. Eyes glinting with mirth and her lips curving up into an amused smile, she slaps his hand away. "Don't start that again.."

"I'll have you know a wicked woman kept me up all night.. and I'm intending to savour it for all its worth."

"You can just keep savouring it then," she smirks, unwrapping the towel and letting her hair cascade down over her shoulders. Her cherry scent fills the air surrounding them. "It's as if you want Martha to walk in and interrupt."

Castle pulls a face, "nothing kills the mood faster than the mention of my mother," he replies, shuddering at the thought. "I'll get the plates." She laughs, picking up the nearest food mountain to her and following his lead.

"Oh - your phone rang while you were in the shower," he remembers, removing the steaming bowl from her grip. Now empty-handed, Kate grabs her phone, disconnecting it from the charger and glancing at her recent notifications. She bites her lip.

Deputy Director Freedman

1 missed call.

"Is it the 12th? Should we hold off on breakfast," Castle checks, glancing up from the glass of juice he was pouring. When she doesn't reply, he frowns, "Kate?"

"No, it's all good," she replies, realising he's still waiting for an answer. "It's nothing important." She manages a smile and lightly touches his arm, before retrieving two plates of pancakes from the counter. "Come on, let's eat."

As breakfast has progressed, he can't fail to notice that Kate has become more withdrawn; she's still responding to his questions with the appropriate responses but it feels like she's only half listening to him and she's dropped scrambled egg onto the table at least twice.

Despite Castle watching her intently, she doesn't elaborate on what is bothering her, content to let him steer their topics for discussion and he doesn't bring it up either.

Five years with her and he knows her playbook word for word. By not addressing the situation, he's giving her the one thing that comforts her: a place to hide. He doesn't often find himself at a loss for words, but this time he's not sure how to tackle the elephant in the room and is even less eager to ruin the fragile truce they've forged overnight.

If her less than enthusiastic conversation hadn't already given it away then the way her leg is bouncing rhythmically beneath the table would have done. Castle reaches down and places a hand on her thigh, to which she instantly stills, "Sorry," She offers, meeting his concerned gaze.

He waves away her apology, his hand slipping down and beginning to trace calming circles against the inside of her knee, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Judging by the pained expression on her face and her failure to acknowledge his question, her first instinct is to shut down the conversation and he watches her fight the impulse momentarily. "Kate," He catches her gently around the wrist as she's about to pick up her mug and the question is written all over his face. "Is it the job? Because if there's a part of you that thinks you'll regret not going to DC—."

"Castle, we've talked about this," she cuts him off, thinly veiled irritation lacing her words. "Did you not hear anything I said yesterday?" She removes herself from his grasp.

Castle lets a few moments pass in silence, to ensure his response isn't a knee-jerk reaction to her words, born out of his own frustration. "But now you've had time to sleep on it - to think it over some more, with all of the cards on the table - and if even a small part of you is second guessing your decision not to take the job, that you should go."

"I've thought of nothing else for the past week," Kate counters. "I spent two hourson a plane to DC, with nothing but my thoughts for company…" she hesitates, very much aware that her dishonesty will be a sore topic of conversation between them for days to come. "I've had time."

Their breakfast lies forgotten, and he's rounded the table so they're feet apart. Her hands unconsciously seek purchase in his shirt and she draws him in closer, her lips brushing his in an attempt to diffuse their mutual discomfort. He kisses her back, half-heartedly, coming to rest his forehead against hers.

"Castle-" Kate exhales his name on a sigh. She wishes, not for the first time, that she had his way with words, because right now she's coming up short of anything remotely reassuring. "I know I haven't exactly given you many reasons to trust me lately, and I know they're just words - but i've never been more sure that everything I want is here in New York. With you."

Another pause, and she considers the words on the tip of her tongue before continuing.

"This last year, even before then - when I pictured what our life would look like, I never even considered that it'd take place outside of the NYPD. My mom was a working mom and I can't remember a day when she wasn't home in time to have dinner with Dad and I, to ask about our days and to help me with my homework and tuck me into bed at night. And I wantourkidstohavethattoo." The end of her sentence rolls together in her haste to get the words out before she can censor herself.

Her heartbeat echoes in her ears in the moments of quiet that follow. Castle's brain finally seems to have caught up with the rest of him, and he opens his mouth to speak.

"Please don't say anything," she continues, before he can. She's become a lot more communicative over the past year, but she's still not one for willingly opening up, so he merely nods in acceptance. "This isn't gonna become of one of these things that I say that we never mention again, okay?"

The relief that crosses his face when she says it, lets her know she's hit the nail completely on the head. "I don't want to forget about it, and we will talk about it."

"But?" Castle interjects. This time he can't help himself.

"But, not today. I still have a conversation to have with Captain Gates. I have a job offer to decline from the FBI, and you asked me to marry you not twenty-four hours ago. It's just —" Kate casts around for the right word.

"A lot?" he supplies helpfully, and she appreciates him all the more for it. "You need to get dressed anyway," he fills the silence, as casually as if they were discussing the weather.

Kate drains the rest of the contents of her coffee cup and leans forward to press her lips to his. "Thank you," she murmurs, letting her head come to rest against his shoulder. His arms tighten around her and they stay like that for a few moments, until her alarm shatters the silence.

Kate comes back from getting ready for work and watches Castle for a moment with a smile, as he clears away the remains of their breakfast. Getting dressed has had an almost calming effect on her and feeling the weight of her badge and gun against her hip has helped her to center herself. Castle places a leftover bear claw into a brown paper bag and rests it on the counter next to her leather jacket. Her smile fades when he only fills one of their travel coffee mugs.

"Aren't you coming into the precinct today?" She moves into the room, making her presence known and trying to keep the anxiety from slipping into her voice.

"Gina's on the warpath. I didn't get as much done as she expected over the last week," he goes for casual, but it misses the mark and he seems to realise this, because when he speaks again, it's with an almost unnerving attempt at humour. "So unless you want my ruggedly handsome profile on your murder board, I thought I should stay home and write this morning."

Kate frowns at this, "I thought the new chapters weren't due for another two weeks?"

"Right? Which means I have at least another month, but i am behind," Castle concedes mournfully. "I'll be in after lunch though."

He helps her on with her jacket and untucks her hair from the collar, his fingers brushing the back of her neck. Kate shivers, turning to face him and kissing him appreciatively. "I love you."

"I love you too," Castle replies, handing her the coffee mug and the rest of her breakfast.

"Call me if you catch anything interesting?"

"Wouldn't that be too much of a distraction?" He walks her over to the door.

"Exactly." She rolls her eyes at him, from the hallway and he gives her a winning grin."I'll see you later." The door of the loft clicks shut behind her and she retrieves her phone from the pocket of her jacket, scrolling through her recent call log, and back up to the newest red entry. Her thumb hovers above his name on the the touch screen for a fraction of a second, before continuing back down the list and selecting her dad's contact information.

Kate parks the cruiser outside the diner in the same way she did yesterday but this time there's no hesitation before she gets out and heads inside. A smile splits across Jim Beckett's face as his daughter approaches; her shoulders are no longer hunched up and when she returns his smile, she no longer looks like she's carrying the weight of the entire world upon them. He gets up from his seat to greet her, and is relieved to notice there's no tension in her voice when she speaks, "Hey Dad."

"Well I'm pleased to see you look a lot happier today, can I assume that you've come to a final decision?" He releases her from his hug and sits back down, motioning to the waitress for another pot of coffee.

Kate joins him at the table, eager not to beat around the bush, "After I left here, I gave it a lot of thought, and I've decided not to take the job."

"I see," Her dad answers thoughtfully, clasping his hands around the coffee cup he's drinking from. His face remains impassive, "I must admit I'm a little surprised to hear that Katie. When you left here yesterday, you were convinced this was what you wanted so I'm curious to know what changed your mind." He has his suspicions but waits for his daughter to elaborate.

"I don't say this often and Mom would've had a field day with it, but you were right." She focuses her attention on the lace patterned tablecloth.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Jim Beckett teases, failing to avoid the napkin that hits him squarely in the face.

"You must be going deaf in your old age," Kate quips back, eyes glittering with mischief. Her laughter fades and she tucks a stray curl behind her ear. "I said you were right. I've been hiding in my work and I couldn't even see it. I managed to convince myself that going to DC was what I wanted, but it wasn't for the right reasons."

"And what part did Castle play in this?"

Her teeth catch her lip and in place of the thirty-two year old woman sat across from him, staring back is his teenage daughter, in a moment eerily reminiscent of the times he interrogated her about a new date. Her cheeks are slightly flushed, there's a sparkle in her eye that wasn't present yesterday and her face is on the verge of splitting into a smile.

"He um - he asked me to marry him," She admits. The words sound foreign to her, tripping haphazardly out off her tongue, although judging by the nonchalant expression on her dad's face, she's the only one that was caught off-guard by the new almost-development in their relationship.

"But you don't seem at all surprised by that." She glances up at his face trying to gauge his reaction to her words. He stares back at her, his own expression giving nothing away, "You wouldn't happen to have known anything about it would you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim answers serenely, hiding a grin behind his mug.

Kate raises her eyebrows and stares him down across the table, and it's all too familiar. The way she's looking at him is so eerily reminiscent of Johanna that it creates a lump in his throat and he can feel the moisture beginning to prick at the corners of his eyes. He was right yesterday - she would have been so proud. "You wanna try that again?" His daughter uses her best interrogation voice, bringing him back to the present, "Maybe make it a little more convincing this time?"

"Can I plead the fifth?"

The corners of her lips quirk upwards, and not breaking their gaze she banters back, "That sounds very much like an admission of guilt." She's not backing down.

"Okay, I may have had some idea that this was on the cards," Jim concedes eventually, amusement clearly displayed on his face. That's Johanna alright.

"He came to see you, didn't he?" The amazement registers in her tone, but at the same time she's not altogether surprised because it's something he would do. Jim smiles, detecting the awe in her words although he's sure she never meant for it to slip.

"About six weeks ago," He acknowledges and Kate's eyebrows shoot up into her hairline as, for the first time, his words leave her feeling slightly off kilter. But it had seemed like he was only proposing to her because he wanted her to stay… "I hope that isn't why you changed your mind," He interrupts her musings, not missing the look of surprise and then resignation that have chased themselves across her face.

"On the contrary," She starts, "Castle actually tried to convince me I should take it." For the first time since she sat down, she reaches for the mug of coffee, allowing his enquiring eyes to notice there is no engagement ring on the fourth finger of her left hand, "And I didn't say yes."

"You said no?" Jim isn't able to hide his astonishment, but when Kate glances back at him, there's no judgement in his eyes, only curiosity.

"I said not yet," She corrects him, tugging her lip between her teeth. Her brow is knitted together and she's gone quiet since his revelation and hers, "Things are better between us now, and we had a big talk about the future yesterday but I don't know if we're in a place yet where marriage is something we're ready for."

"Can I say something?"

"Like it ever stopped you before," She smiles, because there was a time when her father was all too vocal with regard to the guys she chose to date.

Jim returns her grin with one that indicates he remembers those times all too well, "Well personally I'm hoping that this one won't result in you declaring that it's your life and slamming the door on your way out," He teases.

Kate pretends to consider it for a moment before replying, "As long as this isn't a variation of the 'he's only after one thing' speech I'm pretty sure I won't need to."

"Well I clearly don't need to ask his intentions towards you," His eyes are twinkling because there's a telltale blush on her cheeks and his words clearly go some way to making her flustered. He can't remember the last time he got to exercise a dose of parental embarrassment so he's gonna milk this for all it is worth.

"Didn't you have a point you wanted to make?"

"What you and Rick have is real, Katie. I know you have your doubts, but what I also know is that this is right. Do you want to know what I thought the first time I met him?"

"What?" His words raise a smile, because she can remember only too well her second first impressions of Castle, although admittedly that was based solely on a police file, page six of the New York Times and a fifteen minute interrogation. Her days of deliberately dating boys she knew her parents didn't approve of were a thing of the past, so she hopes her dad will have been left with a much more satisfactory first impression.

"I thought he reminded me of the man I used to be forty years ago." Jim smiles, "That man would go to the ends of the earth for you. He's in this for the long haul and I think you know that. I haven't doubted that ever since I saw him try to take a bullet for you." Kate unconsciously lifts a hand to touch just above her shirt, where she can feel the steady life affirming beat of her heart, but her dad isn't yet done. "Since I watched him let your doctor use him as a punchbag without so much as even raising a fist."

"I'm sorry, he did what?" It takes a few seconds for his words to register, but when they do Kate's eyes flash dangerously, and Jim almost quails under her furious glare.

"He didn't tell you about that, eh?"

"No he didn't." Kate frowns, "Why wouldn't he tell me about that?"

"Probably because he didn't want to colour your opinion of Josh," he pauses briefly to let his words find their mark. "I've known ever since you spent twelve weeks in my cabin recovering. I saw the way you looked at your phone every time it rang, the disappointment when you realised that it wasn't him and that he was actually doing as he was told for once."

Her eyes cloud over and her forehead creases into a troubled frown as she registers the amount of truth to his observations. Jim looks away briefly giving her a moment to compose herself, "All I'm saying is you know, Katie, and I think you have done for a while."

"I know-"she starts, interrupted by the ring of her cell phone, and at a quick glance at the caller ID, the lines on her face even out.

Her dad smirks, not missing the sudden change in her expression. He's not a gambling man anymore, but he'd be prepared to bet anything he owns that he knows what, or rather who is behind the sudden improvement to her mood. "Aren't you going to get that?"

Kate blushes, glaring back at him and making a show of turning her back on him, as she accepts the call, "Hey Castle."