He was afraid.
It wasn't something he wanted to admit to, even under these circumstances. He didn't want to admit - not to anyone - that he was still capable of fear; even after everything he and seen and done and felt.
But Kylo Ren was afraid. That he knew he was right to be afraid made it no easier to bear.
The rock-cut hall in which he stood was Starkiller Base's audience chamber. Narrow trenches circled around the dais, their tops level with the catwalk down which Kylo had just advanced. Inside the trenches stood high-backed chairs, at which the First Order's great and good would sit when called together. The generals, the admirals, the vassal planetary rulers; all those who might for some reason gather in this hall of halls, and make obeisance before the Supreme Leader, and hear his will.
His master loomed over him, a nightmare shape seated on a throne of black stone, dark robes hanging about its skeletal form like a burial shroud. Light shone down from behind its head, like moonlight through a hole in a cave wall, casting the wrinkled, scarred horror of its face in unnatural shadows. Those eyes, the left drawn back in shadow above the sunken left cheek, stared down at him.
He knew those eyes. For so many years they had watched him, stared at him, stared through him. Even without this hologram that gave his master the form of some terrible giant, they terrified him in ways few other things could.
He forced himself not to glance at the man standing beside him, staring up at that same face. Of all the people he had to face the Supreme Leader alongside, of all the people he had to undergo this trial with, it just had to be Armitage Hux. It was enough to make him think that maybe the Force had a sense of humour after all.
A particular cruel sense of humour.
"The droid will soon be delivered to the Resistance, leading them to the last Jedi."
The voice, croaking and grinding like stone on stone.
"If Skywalker returns, then new Jedi will rise."
Snoke leaned forward as he spoke, bringing the ruin that was his face into the light. Kylo had never learned from him what had caused those terrible injuries, let alone who or what he had been before; and if anyone in the First Order knew, they were not inclined to tell.
Hux stared up at Snoke, his eyes never wavering. Kylo could feel his resolve, the dreadful fury born of a life of misery and weakness. He knew, in that moment, that Hux was truly not afraid; that if Snoke struck him dead there and then, he would face it without hesitation.
He was indeed a fanatic, so far gone that no life, not even his own, mattered all that much to him. And Kylo Ren hated him for it.
"Supreme Leader," he said, his tone as unwavering as his gaze. "I take full responsibility..."
"General!"
Kylo's blood turned to ice as Snoke stood up, his narrow head blocking the light. When was the last time he had raised his voice? When was the last time he had shown any kind of emotion, besides a mild, sardonic amusement?
Hux's cheek twitched. So he was capable of fear after all.
"Our strategy must now change," Snoke said.
"The weapon," said Hux, his former hauteur restored. "It is ready. I believe the time has come to use it."
Of course he would say that. Of course he would bring that thing up. The Weapon, a weapon like no other, a weapon for which no whimsical name would suffice. The Weapon, for the purpose of which an entire planet had been converted; the work of decades, of millions of labour droids. The Weapon, whose design - it was whispered - had involved ancient and incomprehensible sciences.
Hux did not understand. He would never understand. He could not feel the Force. Indeed, Kylo knew he despised it; a random element his tidy equations could not contain. He had no comprehension of the powers he was meddling with, of forces Kylo Ren himself could not put into words.
He would never understand the cold dread Kylo felt whenever he came anywhere near Starkiller Base; the dread that both entranced and repelled him, and in so doing empowered him.
"We will destroy the government that supports the Resistance, the Republic," Hux went on. "Without their friends to protect them, the Resistance will be vulnerable. They will have no choice but to seek us out, and thus expose themselves."
"Go." Snoke sat down on his throne, waving a hand to dismiss him. He seemed mollified. "Oversee preparations."
"Yes, Supreme Leader."
Hux paused a moment, looking sidelong at Kylo, a triumphant smirk on his face. Then he turned on his heel and strode out, leaving him alone with his master.
The moment the door slid closed behind him, something changed. Something Kylo knew well, but could never put into words. Something in the air, the atmosphere, the aura of the place. It was cold, chilling to his very soul, yet also honest and bracing. It was Snoke's way of say now he's gone, we can talk.
"There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?"
He had. A presence, far away, like a sleeper awakening, but only partly awake. A mind, slow-witted and confused, yet with a great and terrible power behind it. A power still slowly, ever so slowly, coming to life.
"Yes."
"And the other?"
Two of them? Kylo felt his heart begin to pound. He had sensed something, but two presences?
Was he so small compared to his master? Were his powers so weak, so unrefined?
"Yes." Snoke's ancient face shifted into what might have been a smirk. "Two of them, emerging at about the same time. Surely not a coincidence."
No. Not a coincidence. With the Force, there was no such thing as coincidence.
As he had once taught him, what seemed like an eternity ago.
"Now you know why we must hurry," Snoke said, his tone reproachful, like a disappointed yet still hopeful father. "Now you know why we must have the droid."
Two of them. Two great presences in the Force, two fires so bright that even Snoke had noticed their light. If they came to Skywalker...
"I will find the droid," insisted Kylo, fighting to channel his growing fear. "I will not fail again."
"I know where the droid is," Snoke went on. "It is on board the Millenium Falcon, in the hands of Han Solo."
That name. That name, of all names. Why, oh why, did it have to be him?
"He means nothing to me." A lie, hiding a truth he dared not confront. Snoke's face softened, seeming sympathetic, almost kind, as he had been before, when they had first met.
"Even you, master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test."
"By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced."
Meaningless words. He was starting to sound like Hux. Was that why he spoke the way he did? All clipped phrases and smug ideology? Was that how he concealed that crying child curled up in the depths of his soul? Was that how he kept himself from losing his mind?
"We shall see."
The hologram vanished. And he was alone.
Utterly, utterly alone.
(X)
No matter the being, no matter the age, there was always something about Hyperspace that just seemed to entrance the mind. Energies that sunder cause and effect, beginning and end, hyperspace is a mystery that rivals even the force to the untrained eye.
And even to the trained eye, those mysteries didn't seem to stop.
Thexan knew the base science of the event. A hyperdrive manipulates hypermatter particles in order to thrust a starship into hyperspace, taking full advantage in the wrinkles that such an event causes to real space allowing a ship to 'jump' across the expanse of the galaxy.
He remembered watching with innocence and wonder as his father ordered his ship into the vast expanse.
He remembered dismissing it, as he an Arcann finished their conquest of Balmorra, taking it's factories intact and earning the crew the highest honour.
Now, it brought with it a calmness that he hadn't felt in years.
Three millennia had passed, but no mind had even come close to learning how to catch a ship within hyperspace. For now, they could rest.
Nevertheless, Thexan couldn't stop his eyes from taking watch. He saw as Han looked over his and Finn's work on Chewie, the girl Rey, her eyes still alight with wonder at the very sight of the old smuggler.
But the man Finn, he had yet to move.
All it took was a single glance, and the man would freeze. The two of them had taken a seat at either end of the only couch that the Falcon seemed to offer. Finn tried to distract himself, looking over some of the pieces of junk, a combat remote among them.
"You'll be fine," Han chided the wookie, earning him a grunt and forcing Thexan away from his duties.
"Good job, thanks, both of you."
Thexan simply nodded, Finn didn't even move. Han's eyebrow notched a little higher. He looked to Thexan, but the prince simply shrugged. He gives him a look the prince couldn't place. Almost wistful, but it pained him.
The smuggler coughed, drawing everyone back to reality.
"So," he starts, hand on hip and blaster, "Fugitives, huh?"
Thexan caught Finn flinch at the world, but the girl didn't.
"The First Order wants the map," she explains, "Finn is with the Resistance, I'm just a scavenger."
Han glanced down, and Finn all but squirmed under the attention. He turned, giving Thexan a knowing look. The prince's lips played at a smirk before self-control snuffed it out, but the act was enough to get Han smirking as well.
The man in question at least had enough sense to look warily at the two of them.
Ignoring, Han motioned to the BB unit.
"Let's see what you got?"
Thexan sat up from his seat, and the astro droid rolled back slightly. It nudged Rey's leg, but the scavenger just smiles.
"It's ok, go on."
The droid whined its disapproval, but rolled into the centre of the room and tilted its visor into projection mode. A holographic puzzle piece materialised in the air, expanding in seconds, revealing an entire star system. It was beautiful, in a pure sense, but a single fact stuck out to Thexan more than anything else.
"It's not complete."
Han nods, walking through the hologram and taking stock of the dozens of nameless landmarks.
"It's just a piece, and without the others, it's not worth the trouble."
"The First Order must think differently."
"Not hard to know why," Han grumbles, "People were trying to find Luke even before he went missing. Historians, bounty hunters, you name it, there was someone out there who wanted a piece of him."
"Is that why he left?" Rey asks.
Han slows to a stop, and within the force, his spirit screamed. Frustration, anger, but most of all, sadness and regret.
"He was… training a new generation of Jedi. Then one boy… turned against him and destroyed it all."
Rey looked on in newfound awe, but Thexan couldn't stop himself from gritting his teeth. Even after so long, a Jedi's fall could still anger him so. He quickly silenced those emotions. They were beneath one of his station. A reason to control himself even greater than the respect that Han deserved as the pain screamed ever louder in the force.
"Luke felt responsible," Han continued, "So he did what he could, and no one's heard from him or his other students since."
"Did you know where he went?"
"A lot of rumors," Han admitted, "But the people who knew him best, think he went looking for the first Jedi temple."
The awe in Rey's eyes eclipsed the light of a star. Thexan didn't think she even noticed as she stood back up and slowly made her way closer to Han.
Once again, his lips play at a smirk, but he didn't stop it.
"The Jedi were real," she breathes.
"As real as you or I," Thexan confirms.
"And that's not all. Magical power keeping balance between good and evil, the dark side and the light. Thought it was all a bunch of mumbo-jumbo but the truth is…"
Finn lurched as he accidentally knocked into the table. The ball began to roll off the edge.
Thexan reached out and it… stopped.
Against all the odds, the artificial gravity and all logic, it floated in the air. Thexan strains, his reach waning, but he didn't let go. Even in a weakened state, so far from his birthright, this would not beat him. The ball shakily rose from the floor and silently few the final feet before dropping in Thexan's waiting hand.
It was easier to lift this up. Meaning he can feel the connection. IT was faint, but not as faint as it once was back on the ship with the Rathtars. The more he used the Force, the sooner his connection and mastery would return.
One would need a lightsaber to cut the silence that followed.
Rey's jaw was on the floor, Finn had broken into a cold sweat that sent him shivering as if he had seen a ghost, and Han…
The smuggler surprise was beyond words. Even Chewie forced himself up to gawk at the event. Han's jaw dropped, he almost smiled, and for a second the force sang in joy at a long forgotten wonder.
Only for it to come crashing down as something darker took hold.
Thexan held his hands up, and slowly placed the ball back on the table while Han stared.
"It's… all… true."
His eyes darted between the ball and Thexan. He came upon Thexan, finger pointed and scowl painted on his face.
"You didn't tell me you were a Jedi."
"You didn't ask." Thexan replied back curtly. "And secondly, I am no Jedi." He saw Han tense up, as did Finn. "I am neither a Sith either." He coldly remarked. "I am a Knight of Zakuul."
"Zakuul? That swamp?" Finn asked incredulously. Thexan turned, giving him a slight glare that made him clam up.
"That *swamp*," He growled. "Was my home."
"You and I," Han crossed his arms. "Are gonna need to talk." The bald man looked up at the elder, eye to eye.
"I've been honest and upfront with you Han. Like I said, you never asked."
"I-" He was about to go on, before the answer finally hit home. Han turned, and Chewie shrugged and let off some soft barks.
"Don't take his side!" Han snipped before coming back onto Thexan, and then sighed, feeling overwhelmed. "Listen, something that… huge… should be pretty damn important to bring up."
"Or not at all, considering how the Jedi were hunted down during the age of the Empire, based from what I read back on freighter." The royal replied. "Apparently they were trying to turn against the Republic."
"All lies set by the Emperor then," Han put his hand to his face. "You've still been under carbon freeze for three thousand years and-"
"Three thousand years?!" Rey said aloud, her eyes upon Thexan in surprise. "I heard people don't last longer than one hundred, at most!" That answer made Han's eyes widened.
"And Hutts can live to a thousand…" Thexan had a feeling something cold iced through the old man's veins. Chewie nodded.
"Wait, what's this about a Hutt?" Finn asked.
"Never mind just…" Han raised his hands. "Right now, we need to think of a plan right now." He pointed at BB-8. "He has the map to Luke, and you're trying to get that map to the Resistance." He looked to Finn next. "What about you, Rey?" He asked, and Thexan turned towards her as well.
"I… I'm here to help Finn and BB-8. Then, I have to get back to Jakku." Finn almost looked ready to throw his hands up in the air in frustration.
"Why does everyone want to go back to that sandbox." He said to himself.
"Really?" Han asked with a quirked eye. "What for?"
Rey turned towards the old man, and Thexan could sense a contradiction inside her. A conflict.
"I need to go back there for someone. They will… find me soon." She said affirmably. "I don't want to be away from there longer than I have to be."
Thexan crossed his arms, hearing the words come from her mouth, yet sensing something different. BB-8 cancelled the hologram map and rolled towards Rey.
"Well… We will get to Takodana in soon. If I were you, get some rest. Thexan," Han turned towards the young man. "In the cockpit with me." Chewie rose up from his spot on the lounge, and Han shook his head. "No, you take it easy. Thexan is our first mate after all." And Thexan followed Han into the cockpit, giving Finn and Rey a look before departing from the concourse.
That girl… he can sense it inside her. Like a sleeping giant. The Force was strong in her. She just didn't know it.
He sat in the co-pilot's seat, inspecting the dusty control panel of the Falcon, but he can feel Han's eyes on him.
"You didn't ask you know."
"I know." Han growled. "But that should have been a tidbit that I may have should have known." Thexan turned towards him.
"If you think I'm going to backstab you Han you got another thing coming." He starred back out into the blue expanse of hyperspace.
"I've encountered Force users before. One of them is one of my dearest friends, that being Luke. The other an old coot who died years ago saving my skin." Han put his hands on his knees. "The last one? A Dark Lord of the Sith who tortured me for a cold minute and then put me in Carbonite for three years. So for my experience is a coin flip at this point. Now," He leaned forward. "Chewie trusts you. But, this new revelation-"
"Is world breaking, I can guess. I'm sorry your experience with those who can master the Force is up to chance. But Han," Thexan sighed. He remembered how Finn called Zakuul a swamp. Not the shining jewel of power of a civilization who brought a rabid galaxy to heel. A galaxy torn in two, made whole by their conquest. His birthright.
All of it, wiped away.
"I have no home now." He turned his head lightly. "I only have you and Chewie. When you offered me that job back on the Eravana, I took it and I plan to stick with it. I'm a Prince…" Thexan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "A prince of nothing." Those words felt like ash on his tongue.
Han remained quiet, sensing the emotions the young man was exuding silently. He let out a sigh, patting him on the shoulder. The motion made Thexan flinch, and turn his head.
"Sorry, just took a minute to absorb all that…" Han spoke lightly before focusing back on controls and checking the systems. "Think you know anything on the systems here?"
"Talk to me on what's what, I can figure it out from-"
"I can help." Thexan and Han turned, seeing Rey standing by the entrance to the cockpit. She had her eyes go from Han to settle on Thexan.
"You wanna help?"
"I know my way around a Corellian freighter or two." She replied with a confident smile.
"Well, if you want to." Thexan shrugged. If this girl, who knows her starships more than he can, can contribute, that can give him time to meditate.
To reconnect with the Force even more.
"Alright, come on here." The young man stood up, walking past the girl, whose gaze was on him as they shuffled past each other. Rey sat in the cockpit and began to go over the panel and controls like a natural.
"If you need a hand." Thexan raised his hand.
"I'll give a holler." Han finished, and the Prince of Zakuul bowed out, walking past the concourse as Chewie rested in the lounge and Finn had his head in his arms on the table. BB-8's head swiveled his way, noticing his presence. Thexan explored behind the Falcon, coming upon a musty old pair of bunks. This will need to be cleaned out.
He sat down, crossed legged on the cold steel floor and closed his eyes.
Breath. Focus.
Reach out.
He can sense the ship, everyone inside it from the Jakkuan Ants, to Finn napping, to Chewie dozing off, and Han… and the bright flame that was Rey.
Inhale. Exhale.
And he tightened his range, focusing on the disheveled moth-eaten sheets and dust…
He can feel the dust particles move and levitate around him as Thexan focused as deep as he could.
And he lost himself to his meditation, to re-establish that connection that has been long lost for three thousand years.
Here we go. Sorry for the wait people.