I didn't move I was frozen. Trapped, in the darkest of places. The demons that hide in my mind.
"M'fine." I repeated quieter this time, still avoiding eye contact, not even sure if the response made sense to the faint ramblings of Arthur from above him. I blinked a few times trying to remember what the correct pace for breathing is.
"Let me look at it Merlin. Don't be an idiot." he said grabbing my arm. I flinched away from his grasp and somehow ended up on my feet.
"I said, I'm fine, Sire." Coming out more icily than intended.
"Okay." said Arthur resigning the argument.
ARTHUR'S POV
We had gotten through dinner in almost complete silent and it felt like the night hadn't come soon enough. I needed the time to process what could possibly be wrong with Merlin. I finally come to the conclusion that the best thing to do would be to corner him. Give him no way out but to talk, to finally tell me what happened to the light behind his eyes. He's just a servant, I don't even know why I care. He could easily be replaced but as soon as I thought it I pushed it out of my mind. He could never be replaced.
At some point I had fallen asleep only to be awoken but heart wrenching screams. It sounded like someone was being tortured right outside my tent. I grabbed my sword and quietly but quickly made my way outside. The wood was silent minus the trashing and painful screams of Merlin. I ran to his side as he was trashing dangerously close to the fire. I flinched as his arm landed in the fire but still the pain did not wake him from the demons that paralyzed his dreams. I tried not to notice the anguish glued to his face as tears poured out of his eyes.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
He wouldn't look at me in fact he looked anywhere but as if he was trying to wake himself out of this reality.
"M'fine." he replied. His reply was automatic something I'd heard over and over since I met him. This time though, I knew it was a lie. I kept trying to explain that it was a nightmare and he was okay. That I was here, I wasn't going anywhere.
"M'fine." he replied again proving that he had no idea what I had said. I took his reply hoping he was at least slightly aware of what was going on around him.
"Your arm, I think you burned it. Let me look at it Merlin. Don't be an idiot." I said reaching for his arm. The look on his face read of pure fear as he flinched so far away from me. I didn't even register he was now standing. I stared blankly up at him before he looked down and muttered some statement filled with ice. There was nothing I could do but say okay and keep an eye on him.