ARTHUR POV

I watched him on the horse as he was in visible pain, though he tried so hard to hide it. He wasn't weak like we'd always joked. He was probably one of the strongest people I've ever met. I could practically hear him thinking too hard about events in his life that I wasn't privy too. I saw him swaying slightly more, then he halted completely.

"Merlin! You okay?" I asked knowing full well he wasn't. I watched as the tear slid down his cheek and that crushed my soul. I jumped off my horse and was next to him in such a speed that I'm sure it wasn't actually humanly possible. The reply, though I was not at all prepared for. One simple sentence could shatter your world. Words can hold more malice than magic of could, of that I was sure. It hit me then, as I lowered him to the ground by some trees that, he was always"fine." Every joke, every death, every situation he seemed to handle better than all of us. Maybe what all of us failed to notice was that he wasn't handling it. He was walking away from it, storing it in his mind for later.

When I got him on the ground, I saw that his once blue tunic was now a purple color, as the majority of it was soaked in his blood. I pulled it over his head so I could see the injury clearer. I didn't have much knowledge in how to care for wounds but being on the battlefield the majority of my life I knew how to care for them enough to get us back to Camelot. I quickly pulled the bolt out and stopped the bleeding the best I could. Patching the wound with the supplies Merlin packed.

After that was over, I looked at my servant realizing I had never actually seen him shirtless before. The first thing I noticed was that he really was too skinny. The next was that his body was riddled with scars. The scars started up on his chest and worked their way down his torso. It occurred to Arthur then, that he really knew nothing of his servant's life. Could these scars be from him working for me? From cleaning my armor and training sessions?

The thought was interrupted when the burn from the other night caught my eye. It was healing but it was more severe than I thought it was. That however, was not as concerning as the series of cuts that went up his arm. Some were really really faded and old but there were others that were fresh. Gotten within the week and some within the month. Merlin was clumsy but not this clumsy.

"A-art..." Merlin's hoarse voice whispered breaking the thoughts that now whirled around my head.

"Shhh... It's alright. You're okay." I replied pushing his raven colored hair out of his eyes.

"Wha' happened?" he asked the level of panic apparent in his voice.

"You were hit with an arrow. I had to stop the bleeding, you passed out."

He looked at me with an expression I was unable to read, then slowly started to inch inward as if he could disappear if he tried hard enough.

"What happened to you?" I asked motioning toward the scars that lined his torso.

"Well, I've always been a bit clumsy." he said with a smile and a laugh that normally would've made me drop the subject altogether.

"I remember mother used to get so mad when she'd send me-"

"Merlin!" I cut him off, my voice coming out a lot harsher than intended.

"What really happened?"

I could see him shaking ever so slightly as tears welled up in his eyes.

"No."

"c'mon Merlin just tell me."

"I-I-I have nightmares...a lot." he started to say, but then his eyes seemed to be somewhere else as his body began to convulse and he started gasping for air.

"Shhh...hey it's okay. I'm here. Merlin. I'm here."

My words didn't seem to have any effect on his condition. If anything it seemed to make it worse. I grabbed him as gently as I could and held him to me. He seemed to calm down slightly. It was hard to see him like this, the one who kept us all afloat so broken, so lost. I realized I never noticed how beautiful he really is. The way his blue eyes contrasted his thick raven colored hair. Beautiful. I kissed his forehead ever so gently. I didn't even realize I had done it.

"No...you can't...don't touch me." he cried against my grasp and struggled to get free. He winced slightly as I let him go and the burn on his wrist slammed against my chain mail.