ERLIN'S POV
The sun hurt my eyes as I opened them, I couldn't really focus anywhere. I called for Arthur remembering bits and pieces of an attack. Though, when I heard his voice I calmed a little. Then panicked as the realization hit me that I almost once again almost failed at my destiny. My level of terror rose as I realized I was shirtless. That means he saw the scars I'd so desperately wished had stayed hidden. I thought maybe I could joke my way out of it but I knew it was a lost cause. I could feel the anxiety in my stomach turning and the magic welling in my veins. It needed a release I needed to get out of here.
"I-I-I have nightmares...a lot." I said and as I said it they all came flooding back to me. The deaths, the failures everything my fault, because I'm not strong enough to handle this on my own. I could feel myself being lifted and held but I couldn't break the thoughts that trapped me. I heard Arthur saying something but I couldn't tell what. It wasn't until I felt his lips touch my forehead. No this can't happen. No. I struggled to get out of his grasp knowing the hurt that he would feel. I winced as the burn hit his rough chain mail and then the ground. I can't because loving him means I will burn. The answers to his questions build the pyre I will stand on. I let the tears fall down my face.
ARTHUR'S POV
"I'm sorry." I said in a whisper to myself.
"What are the nightmares about?"
"Death."
"Whose?"
"Everyone."
"Your own?"
He shook his head in response, and more tears fell.
"How?"
"Burning. You- you burn me."
"Merlin, I would never hurt you." I said taking a step forward.
He stepped back fear growing in his eyes.
"One day, I hope for a different time. Now though, you hold your father's hate and every time I blink Arthur, I see you, lighting a pyre." he choked out collapsing to the ground as sobs shook his body violently and he struggled to breathe.
I collapsed on the ground next to him and he didn't even try to move away. I grabbed his hands and forced him to look up at me. Tears fell from my own eyes as I stared at him. "I also see you dying in the fire of the Great Dragon. I call you. You never hear me. I'm never fast enough. I failed. It was all my fault."
"I'm alive. Look at me. Alive right here."
"I know, you prat. I can see you." he replied with a small laugh.
"Idiot." I said back with a smile.
I stood up and starting setting up a camp around where Merlin was sitting. I then sat back down next to my manservant and pulled him into my arms. We sat in silence for awhile before I looked at him.
"The scars, Merlin."
"I told you I'm really clumsy."
"The truth Merlin."
"I did them. One for every person who died for me and one for every time I failed."
"Failed what?" I asked him, my voice cracking slightly.
"You." he said tears falling from his eyes once again.
I looked at him with a shocked expression, not really understanding what he meant. He knew he wasn't the best servant but would never say he failed him. I leaned forward and kissed the falling tears from his eyes. "You have never failed me." I whispered as I ever so lightly brushed my lips across his.