Previously...

"(Y/N), did you just speak?" she asked carefully. However, you saw the growing hope in her eyes, most likely because your mouth was still parted.

You struggled to produce another sound, despite how it caused a sharp, rough pain at the back of your throat. "Nt fult," you managed. You prayed that she would understand what you tried to say.

Her eyebrows furrowed together. "Not fault?" she wondered out loud. "Not fault... wait, are you telling me that it's not my fault?" She seemed reluctant to believe it.

Instead of responding orally, you blinked twice. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and the previous guilt ventured back into her eyes. "But (Y/N)... I'm the one that started it. I'm the one that asked you for help."

"No." You refused to allow her to continue putting herself down like this. "No."

Her shoulders drooped forward. "But-"

"No." It took all your willpower to even force out that single syllable. Your strength was slowly fading and your sight was starting to get blurry. You were so tired after saying only five words. But you needed to make Annabeth believe that you didn't blame her.

She stared at you, not speaking. You felt your eyes beginning to close involuntarily. All you wanted was to sleep. "Taherd," you mumbled. You wanted to warn her just in case she thought something was wrong.

"Tired?" You blinked twice. "Okay, (Y/N)."

Your eyes finally closed and your mouth sealed shut again. Before you fell asleep, though, you thought you heard her say one last thing.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

The next time you woke up you were aware of not only an itchiness in your throat but a painful scratchiness. You cleared it several times, which only stung painfully instead of helping. You knew you needed water, although there was no one sitting around you like Annabeth had been yesterday.

Annabeth... That made you think about your conversation yesterday. Well, it was more of a one-sided exchange than a conversation. She was talking (and shouting) and you were just listening. The things she had said, though... you would never have expected what came out of her mouth. First the anger at you for sacrificing yourself and the rage that followed. Then when she collapsed to the chair and became someone who was most definitely not Annabeth Chase, analytical genius. She had become someone completely different, a shell of her former self. She had been consumed by guilt.

It came as a total surprise by how guilty she felt about your current predicament. It never crossed your mind that anyone would feel bad considering it had been your own choice. You remember how the apologies spilled out of her mouth, not ending until you had put a stop to it yourself. You didn't want to think about what could have happened had you not gathered the willpower to speak up. You remembered the broken, defeated look on her face, the look that scared you more than anything Annabeth could have said or done. You remembered how she kept blaming herself for your sacrifice-

A striking pain seized your throat, interrupting your thoughts. You glanced around the room and zoomed in on a glass of water next to your bed. What did they expect me to do, grab it? you thought, annoyed. You continued staring at it, hoping that you were telekinetic and could make the water float over to you.

"What did the water do to you?" Will walked up to your bed, flashing you a smile. "Hey, (Y/N). How are you feeling? Anything hurt? Blink twice for yes, once for no."

You blinked twice. He frowned. "Where?"

What, did he expect me to just tell him? you thought, bewildered. I can't just- oh wait... You remembered how yesterday you managed to force a few words out to Annabeth. Maybe you could try speaking again...?

You parted your lips slightly. "Throat," you wheezed. The rough, scratchy feeling came back tenfold and you grimaced slightly.

Will's eyes widened, then he broke into a large grin. "You spoke! (Y/N), this is great! The pain is because you're regaining feeling, so don't worry. Oh right, the pain. Here, have some water." He grabbed the glass next to you and tipped it down your throat. You gulped it down greedily until it was done.

He was still grinning at you. You wanted to grin back at him since he was practically radiating happiness, so you fought to quirk the corners of your lips up. It worked. If possible, his grin grew wider.

"I didn't expect such a quick response to the ambrosia and nectar. Wow. I need to write this down on your progress report- which you do have, by the way, to make sure you're healing at a moderate speed. I'll be back in a second."

He walked away, and you felt a sense of pride pushing away the despair that had begun to grow in your stomach. Perhaps this wouldn't be as difficult as you thought.

(~)

You were wrong. It was much, much harder than you expected.

The next three weeks consisted mostly of you getting your voice back. You were almost up to a normal volume, although it was still quite raspy. You also got back some feeling in your fingers and your face muscles. You were now able to tap things out and make facial expressions, which was a huge relief to you. Another thing Will was doing was slowly easing you into a regular eating habit, which had been screwed up after 3 months of nothing but ambrosia and nectar.

Unfortunately, despite all your progress, you still had to be put through speech therapy. Which was why you wanted to scream at everyone in frustration and feed them to a hellhound.

You developed a stutter. Which, in your mind, meant your speech was messed up. In scientific terms, however, it meant that the flow of your speech was broken up by repetitions (li-li-like this), drawn-out syllables (lllllike this), or random points where you couldn't force a sound out. You hated it. You would rather have never regained your speech than to be reduced to this.

Because of this, Will suggested speech therapy. He now sat down with you every day for half an hour, just going over words you both have noticed you had trouble saying smoothly and practicing different ways to help with your stutter. Of course, he wasn't a speech therapist, so he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, but you appreciated the time he put into helping you.

Or at least, that's what you thought at first. Now, you wanted to chuck yourself into the forest and wait for the monsters to come. You were that frustrated.

For starters, you had to pay way more attention to your speech than you ever had had to before. Normally, you would talk fast and think of words to string together on the fly. Now, you had to stop, think about what you wanted to say, then slowly talk. Even then, you would speed up and start stuttering again.

You and Will were practicing the names of people you knew. When you realised that you couldn't pronounce Charity's name properly, you were horrified. She was a person you loved. You couldn't botch up her name whenever you wanted to get her attention. Your pride would not allow it.

"Come on, (Y/N), try it again," Will encouraged you.

You sighed, considering you had been doing this for the past ten minutes. "Charrrrity." You groaned. The 'r's kept slurring together, no matter how much you concentrated. "Willlllll, it's n-n-not working," you said, frustrated and angry.

He gave you a sad smile. "Well, I did say it wouldn't be easy. You've just got to keep trying and not give up. Based on what I've heard, you don't seem like somebody that would give up easily."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Based onnnnn what... you've heard?" you repeated. "Frrrrrom who?" You ignored the cringe you felt at your own speech.

"Annabeth, Charity, and Rex talked about how determined you were at the beginning, spending hours researching and reading up on topics related to Percy's situation... so much that you forgot about yourself." Will put his hands on his hips and stared you down. "You know that was extremely unhealthy and dangerous for your body."

You quirked up an eyebrow. "I didn't realllly have-have time t-t-to think about... myself durinnnnng that time." Will frowned, and you knew he understood the unspoken words that lingered at the end of your sentence.

How was I supposed to take care of myself when Percy could have died at any second?

He swallowed thickly. "I know... just... don't do it again."

Before an awkward silence could settle over the two of you (because the gods know how uncomfortable that is) you quickly spoke up, asking a question that had been at the back of your mind for a while. You'd just been too afraid to actually ask and finally see him.

"You know, about P-P-Percy, where isssss he? I haven't seennnnn him since... I w-w-woke up." You had been wishing to talk to Percy from the time you started to speak. He hadn't visited yet and you were a bit worried. You wanted to see if he was alright. Sure, Will had told you that you had saved him... wait.

Panic seized you, a fire breaking out in your chest. Now that you thought about it, the others had yet to inform you of whether or not you succeeded. What if you hadn't defeated the darkness? What if it was still living in his soul, growing ever bigger after your failure? Is that why nobody had told you? They didn't want to break the news to you? Oh gods. You gripped the sides of your bed, knuckles turning white with the strain. You looked at Will, who was staring at you with a concerned look on his face.

"(Y/N)? Is everything okay?" he asked, touching your hand lightly. You couldn't force out the words. You could only stare at him with wide eyes and a terrified expression you knew you were wearing.

"Listen, I'm going to go get Clovis..." He slowly started to get up and move away, but your hand shot out to grab his own before he could. "(Y/N)?"

"N-n-no," you whispered.

"Okay..." You could hear the confusion in his voice. He sat back down and held your hand, enveloping it with his two bigger ones. "(Y/N), what's going on?" he asked gently.

You swallowed thickly. Time stood still during the few seconds that you didn't blink, didn't say a word. You parted your lips. "D-D-Did I save himmmm?" you forced out. Please don't say no, please don't say no, you prayed vehemently.

He blinked. "Is that what you're worried about?"

You glared at his nonchalant tone. "You n-n-never told m-m-me!" He should be taking this seriously! You were terrified!

Will held his hands up in a surrendering motion, laughing a bit when he did. "Sorry, sorry! Yes, (Y/N), you did save him. Clovis went back to make sure the darkness was gone. It's all back to normal."

Slowly, your breathing returned to normal and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back to touch the wall behind. You focused on your breaths and nothing else, trying to banish the thoughts that had crept in with the possibility of the shadows still being there. Despite Will laughing about it, you had been genuinely sick for a second there, panicked that Percy hadn't been healed. Because if Percy hadn't been healed, then the darkness was still there. And if the darkness was still there, then...

I'd have to go back.

You fought back the bile inching up your throat at the thought. That place, despite it being Percy's good, pure soul, had been ensnared by darkness, and it had terrified you. More than anyone thought. It still terrified you and you weren't even there. Every time you allowed your thoughts to drift to that day, you were struck by extreme fear. You could hear Tartarus' voice in your ears, feel the tendrils of shadows lapping at your body. You remembered the paralyzed form your body took at the first word he spoke.

You shivered. If you ever had to return, you didn't think that you'd be able to overcome the fear once more. It was just too much... too much...

"(Y/N)?"

You dispelled your thoughts, focusing on Will and only Will. He was frowning at you. I must have spaced out, you realised. Damn it. My fatal flaw is taking over again.

"Sorry, (Y/N). I didn't think you were this worried." He touched your hand again, giving you an anchor to keep yourself in reality.

Letting out a shaky breath, you smiled. "N-N-No worries. What w-w-were we... talking about, ag-g-gain?"

Will's eyebrows furrowed together in thought. "Well, you asked about Percy, about where he was."

Your eyes lit up. "Right! Wh-wh-where issss he? I want t-t-to see him, see if he's... okay."

"Ah..." Warning bells immediately started ringing in your head, despite Will having just told you that Percy was perfectly fine. You saved him, you told yourself, repeating it to calm your racing heart. You saved him he's fine you saved him he's fine you saved him he's fine.

His blue eyes wouldn't meet your own. "Like I said, he's okay, but... he's not up to leaving his cabin right now." He held his hand up right as you opened your mouth, ready to bombard him with questions. "Let me explain first. For starters, he's been sleeping long hours ever since his dreams have become peaceful, and thank the gods because he's needed it. So most of his day is spent being unconscious. Secondly, he's trying to adapt to the sudden energy spike that appeared ever since Tartarus' hold on him disappeared. He admitted that he'd been getting more and more tired ever since Tartarus, and not just because of the lack of sleep. Annabeth suspects that Tartarus had been draining his energy constantly and it would have only been a matter of time before he dropped, dead tired. So, now that the drainage is gone, he's been feeling much stronger and it's hard to suddenly feel that powerful and contain it."

Will stopped talking and finally looked you in the eyes, waiting for you to say something. For a few seconds, you took the time to absorb everything he had just told you. It made sense, you decided. Then, you gave a small smile, and said, "That'sssss not the r-r-real reason though, i-i-is it?"

He chuckled. "You're more observant than I guessed. You're right." He dropped the smile and became serious. "The real reason is that Percy's been feeling... Percy's been feeling guilty."

"Guilty? Why?" Had he done something? Been somewhere? Disobeyed someone?

"Well... again, it was Annabeth who told me this. She said that Percy feels guilty that you almost got killed trying to save him."

... What?

Guilty?

Because of that?

You didn't say anything, only able to stare at Will in bewilderment. You couldn't fathom why on Earth Percy would feel that way for something he didn't have control over. Guilt is an emotion you feel when you understand you've done something wrong. But he hadn't done anything. It was like Annabeth's breakdown all over again. Both of them felt guilty for your actions, yet it had been you that chose to accept Annabeth's plea and you that decided to risk your health in order to understand what was happening and you that nearly killed yourself to banish the evil in his soul! No one other than you had told you what to do; in fact, Annabeth had tried to stop you at one point. So why would Percy be feeling guilty?

Your stomach seemed to flip and a sickening feeling appeared in your gut. This was not what you had intended to happen. You were supposed to save Percy then heal and then everything would go back to normal. Percy wasn't supposed to be confining himself to his cabin because he felt so much guilt over your predicament that he couldn't bring himself to return to his daily life. He was supposed to be finally free! Free from the grasps of Tartarus, free from his nightmares, free from the constant exhaustion and horrors. Instead, you caused a load as heavy as the sky to drop on his mind and his chest, because that was what guilt was.

Oh gods. What if you just made things worse for him? Guilt was a powerful emotion. You knew the mental and physical effects of it on the body, from having researched it while you were trying to find the cause of Percy's intense nightmares. Sickness to the point of vomiting, being tense, sleep problems, anger, depression, and those were only some of the many. You had no idea how bad he felt which meant that you wouldn't know what symptoms he felt. You didn't mean for him to feel like this. You didn't mean to cause this!

But... you did.

You caused this.

"Oh my gods," you whispered. You opened your eyes (but when had they closed?) to see that Will had been joined by Charity. She was standing next to you and in the process of propping you up in a sitting position (when did you lie down?). Your head lolled to the side, looking out a window, and you let out a strangled gasp. It was no longer light outside.

A soft touch on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts and into reality. Fingers tilted your head to meet Will's worried gaze.

Before he had a chance to speak, you asked, "What time is it?"

He frowned a little, and answered, "Eight pm. (Y/N), we haven't been able to get your attention for hours. What happened?"

"I..." You knew exactly what had happened. You lost yourself to your thoughts. Normally, you would have been able to snap out of it or prevent it from happening entirely, but with the boredom that came with only lying down for days on end... you were bound to lose control at some point. "I-I-I'm sorry. It-it's my fatal... flaw. I looooose myself t-t-to my thoughts."

"Right, but why?" Charity came closer into your field of view. She cocked her head and stared you down, her eyes inviting you to open up. "We both know that something caused it." She sat down on the edge of your bed. "Are you okay?"

Your eyes filled up with tears involuntarily. You wanted to wipe them away, but they just kept coming until you were full out crying. "N-n-no," you managed to choke out. "I'm s-s-sorry."

Immediately, you were enveloped in a warm hug. Charity held you close as you cried, exhausted from the day, from all the new information, and most of all from the shame you felt for causing the exact opposite of what you intended for Percy. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay."

But it isn't, you thought. It isn't.

OHMYGOODNESSI'MSOSORRY I give all of you full permission to yell at me in the comments because I haven't updated for months and that is not okay. I'm really really sorry, which might not mean much to you since I said that last time. HUGE APOLOGY FROM ME. I'm such a hypocrite and you can all blame me for that. However, it's summer now so I should be able to write more! I start summer school next week so I have some time before my time is taken up again, and then after.

If you want a reason as to why I took a long hiatus, I'm sorry, but I don't have a huge reason that prevented me from writing for months. In reality, it was mostly school and other activities (like band- we had several big competitions and performances- and piano- I had an exam coming up). School honestly drains me to the point where when I come home all I can do is eat and do my homework then collapse in bed. Again, not much of an excuse since there are many many authors who are also in school, even college, yet can still update regularly. I'm sorry. SO ENJOY THESE TWO NEW CHAPTERS.

Also, if there's anybody out there with a stutter, can you tell me if I'm doing this correctly? I read many articles on how people with stutters speak and the struggles that come with it, but I have no idea if I'm writing this the correct way or if I'm actually being very offensive. Help? (oh, and if anybody was wondering, the ... means that (Y/N) couldn't force a sound out while speaking)

I think it must be said one more time: I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE AND WILL TRY TO MAKE SURE THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.