R.I.P David Bowie
15. Face the Strange Changes
Carl woke up on his bedroom floor. Another nightmare had put him there, but at least this one hadn't woken up Michonne. He crept softly into the kitchen filled up a glass of water under the tap and drank it down. He was grateful that school was canceled for the rest of the week, because there was no way he could go back to sleep. He thought about telling Michonne about the nightmares he was having, but she was so busy with the wedding and with packing that he didn't want to bother her.
The older Carl got the more he realized that adults were always telling you to do things they didn't do themselves. Don't cuss. Say please and thank you. Treat others how you wanted to be treated, and the most important, don't lie. His father lied, Michonne lied, and when his mother had been alive, she lied too. All adults lied. The only adult in his life right now who had not lied to him was Shane.
When the biter had come for him Carl had froze like a deer in headlights. It was more than being scared, it was the look on the biters face. All the others he'd seen in their cages were growling and groaning, but the one that came for him, a boy about his age, seemed normal. When the undead boy had reached out for Carl it wasn't as if he was trying to bite Carl, it was more like the biter was pleading for understanding, or to be put out of it's misery.
Then it had grabbed on to the front of Carl's jumpsuit and stared it his face like it was trying to remember what it was to be human. Carl hadn't been able to stand the look on the biter's face. It was the same face Roy Wayne Paul's dog, Scrappy, made when it got hit by a car. Scrappy knew he was going to die, you could see it in his face, and he'd just whimpered and licked Roy Wayne Paul's hand until he died. Carl had hit the biter in the head with a baseball bat and kept on hitting it until he'd felt the crack of it's skull. The feeling of the crack had started in Carl's hand and traveled through his whole body. He reacted as if he'd been shot and flung the baseball bat as far away from him as possible. The bludgeoned body fell to the ground, and for the first time Carl noticed that the boy had been wearing a Werewolves of London t-shirt.
"You wanna try it again?" Shane asked when it was all over. "That one was a dud."
Carl's response had been to double over and vomit.
After that the nightmares had started. The young biter haunted him. He saw his face every time he closed his eyes at night. Felt him grabbing on to his shirt. He understood why his father didn't want to tell him about what he was doing, but he still didn't forgive him for lying to him. He couldn't forgive his father for always deciding what it was that he thought he could or couldn't handle. His dad thought he was damaged beyond repair no matter how mature and composed he acted.
When he was younger his dad had been his hero and he wanted to be just like him. He remembered in third grade when his dad had come in for career day. His dad told his class about the time he had stopped a robbery in progress, passed around his handcuffs, and then let everyone sit in his police cruiser. His entire class had thought his dad was the coolest. He felt so proud because all the other boys in his class had been jealous because their fathers had regular jobs like bankers and office managers, but his dad was a hero. He still thought his dad was a hero, but it didn't seem as wonderful as it did when he was a child now that he knew his father's heroism came with a hero complex. His dad needed him to be broken so that he could "save" him, and there for save himself from the guilt of feeling like an inept father who was turning out a broken son.
By comparison Shane acted as if he was mature enough to handle anything no matter how much he behaved like a thirteen year old. Michonne was playing the diplomat until she could get his dad to see the error of his ways. In school Michonne had overseen the peer mediation group, only none of the kids ended up going to each other to mediate their problems, they went to Michonne.
He couldn't go to Michonne, but he needed someone to talk to. he couldn't cope with this alone. He decided to tell Duane. He had been wanting to for some time, plus he was Carl's best friend and best friends told each other everything. He didn't want their to be secrets between him and Duane, at least not this secret. TIme passed tortuously slow as he waited until Duane woke. Finally he got a text from Duane asking if he was going to work in the garden later today. Carl texted Yes back, and checked it was OK to come over, and when Duane said it was OK, Carl rushed up to his apartel. He wanted to speak to Duane alone now that he had the chance. Later on in the day they were meeting Shawn in the garden to help pack up some of their produce and ration it out to the residents of the Q.U.A.D, and he'd have no way to talk to his friend without someone overhearing.
Carl could tell that Duane had just gotten out of bed when he saw him. He was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal and watching the local news channel in only his pajama bottoms.
"Hey man." Duane greeted.
"Hey." Carl said back and sat next to him on the couch. On the TV the news reporter was interviewing a woman named Jolene, who was upset that people in the rec center had been attacked while those in the Q.U.A.D remained safe. "We're out here like sittin ducks while them infected freaks live it up in their big ol' ivory tower." She screeched.
"Oh so being forced out of your home, eating scraps, and living in a building where the hallway smells like cat piss is living it up, well I'm glad you know bitch." Duane said.
Back on the TV Jolene pulled the microphone from the startled TV reporter and screamed into the camera. "It wasn't no accident! I seen 'em. I seen men in that truck-" The reporter wrestled his microphone back and took several quick steps away from Jolene.
"Well, that was intense." Carl said.
"I do feel bad that people were killed at the rec center though." Duane amended.
"Me too, but she's living on another planet if she thinks were living it up here." Carl replied.
"True, if they had interviewed your dad he wouldn't exactly say he was living it up."
Carl took the mention of his father as a segue. "You know your dad could have been out there at the fence line."
Duane muted the TV. "What in the hell Carl?"
He told Duane about the biters and how Shane showed him how to kill one. He even told him about his nightmares although he didn't go into details.
"Wow man that's some fucked up shit!" Duane said.
"He was our age." Carl replied. "I think that was the most fucked up part."
"You ever wonder what it feels like to turn into one of those things?" Duane asked. "Like can you feel yourself becoming less human?"
"I don't know I've never seen anyone turn, but one day I know I'll have too."
"If it's me put a bullet in my brain. I'm dead serious, man."
Carl nodded. "OK, but you've got to do the same for me."
They shook on it.
"Thanks for telling me. You didn't have to."
"No I had to, I would have gone crazy if I didn't, and I shouldn't have to lie to my best friend."
"Can't believe my pops was there. He knew too and didn't tell me." Duane shook his head. "Tyreese didn't tell Keisha or Tamekia. Parents are so shady."
"Well in their defense, they weren't supposed to be learning how to kill biters in the first place."
"Then why did Shane show you?" Duane wanted to know.
"Shane doesn't care about the rules. He's always kind of done what he's wanted to."
"You think he'd show me?"
"I don't know, but if he doesn't I promise I'll show you whatever I learn."
"Good looking out, man."
"Always." Carl replied.
Carl felt a lot better after talking to Duane. The two of them met Keisha and Tamekia in the cat walk and the foursome made their way down to the garden. Out of all the gardens he'd ever worked in, the one he and his friends were growing was by far the best. It wasn't just his bias that lead Carl to that conclusion, even the untrained eye could see that their garden was damn amazing. He took pride in that fact. He and his friends had worked hard on their little plot of earth, so even though school had been canceled, he and his friends went along with Shawn and worked on the garden, but at the end of next month they wouldn't have a garden to tend to anymore.
Once they moved to Shetland there would be no more rabbit run. No more elevator races. No more sunsets on the roof top. He still couldn't believe that Jude hadn't told on him for showing his ass. He knew that sooner or later that his father would find out, and that they would get into a fight about what he did. Every single bridge that he in his father started to rebuilt always got burnt down before they could finish rebuilding them. Would their relationship always be like this? He wondered as he and Duane walked over wooden planks and met Shawn in the middle of the garden.
"We've got a lot of produce to pick, wash off and pack away, and once we do that we need to make an inventory, and then load it up into my truck. We've got a lot to do so let's get to it!" Shawn said and clapped his hands. He was enthusiastic in such a genuine way that Carl always felt himself caught up in Shawn's good spirits.
Carl and Duane had the job of picking and packing cucumbers and Keisha and Tamekia were picking peppers. They all worked hard and fast, but Shawn encouraged them to drink lots of water and to take a brake when ever they felt like they needed one. It wasn't too hot outside yet so Carl kept working. He wanted to get the bulk of the work done before the heat really started to punish them. When the sun finally did come out in full force the four friends took their first break of the day, and made a beeline for the water cooler.
Duane stopped to pick two acorns off the ground along the way and shouted. "Hey Shawn you think these are OK for other people to eat, cuz I saw a squirrel with these." He held the acorns up, but Shawn was too far away to see.
"These what?" Shawn asked squinting to see what Shawn held.
"Deez nuts." Duane said.
He and Carl collapsed on each other helpless with laughter.
"I walked right into that one." Shawn managed to get out through his own laughter.
Keisha looked at her cousin and mouthed boys.
Carl was still laughing as he placed cucumbers into a crate. Once a crate was filled up with produce it was loaded into Shawn's truck. When the truck was full he and Duane hopped onto the tailgate, and Carl pounded on the side of the truck and Shawn drove to the gardener's maintenance building. Inside Ben and Travis washed and cleaned up all the produce they brought in, and the twins divided it up and packaged it into bundles for the rest of the Q.U.A.D. There was an over abundance of tomatoes so Carl, Duane, Keisha, and Tamekia all helped with their collection. He loved working outdoors for the same reason he liked writing, both activities constantly demanded attention of his five senses. He loved the feeling of dirt between his fingers and toes, and seeing all the bright colors of the garden, he savored the taste of the fresh veggies, but found it creepy the way he never heard birds singing anymore. Most of them had been eaten by biters. That was the world now. A world were monsters were real and could hurt you, but on a warm sunny day with your friends you could still enjoy what it had to offer.
Shawn called everyone to lunch at noon. He had dragged two picnic tables into one of the empty greenhouses so they didn't have to eat their lunch in the sun. Each picnic table had a red and white checked table cloth. There were platters of fruit, vegetables, potato salad, and fried chicken. To wash it all down Shawn had made fresh squeezed lemonade.
"I"m really proud of all of you. At the beginning of the year I asked you all to make this the best garden ever and you did. We have right here on these grounds the freshest garden in the world."
"There are probably like only three gardens left in the world right now, so that's not saying much." Brandon said.
Carl turned his head and looked through the chain link fence. It was going to be sad leaving this all behind, but at the same time he was excited to see the outside world. He'd been feeling like a caged rat for so long that sometimes he just wanted to break free and never come back. His dad was worried about being safe, but Carl just wanted to be free.
"Did you want some salad dressing, Carl?" Keisha asked.
Carl almost jumped. He'd been so lost in his own thought that he hadn't even felt her sit beside him.
"Shawn made them himself and they're really good."
He took a bottle of Greek dressing from her hand and poured some in his salad.
"It's so beautiful out here" Keisha sighed. "I think this would be a perfect place for your dad and Michonne's wedding."
"I was thinking the same thing. Tamekia said. "Michonne's dress is like made for an outdoor wedding." Tamekia agreed.
"I don't see why they couldn't have it here." Carl said. The wheels in his head were starting to turn. His parents, he had already started thinking of them as that in his head, wouldn't want a wedding thrown by the Master Sargent after everything he'd put them through. He couldn't get out of these walls in order to get them a wedding present, and even if he could he didn't have the money to buy something nice, not as nice as he wanted, but giving them the wedding that they really wanted was a gift even better than money could buy.
"Yes, a greenhouse wedding." Keisha squealed. "I'll tell my mom and she'll help us plan everything."
"We won't have enough time." Tamekia fretted.
"We will if everyone pitches in ." Shawn spoke up. "I'm willing to help out."
"You know I got your back." Duane said.
Carl smiled. These were the people who matter the most and they were the people who should be involved in the wedding.
"We're in!" the twins chorused.
Ben nodded.
"My dad says friends-" Travis began.
"Just say you'll help out." Tamekia said.
They only had four days to transform the garden and greenhouse into the perfect wedding venue. With everyone's help he knew that they could pull it off. Carl smiled. He felt like he was growing up, because even though he was mad as hell at his father, he still felt his father deserved a celebration. He'd been through so much in his life and for most of it his father had been the only one to see him through.
As soon as Carl and his friends finished packing up their produce Keisha texted her mom Carl's idea and she was down in the garden within ten minutes. She brought Tyreese, Shane, Carley, Amy, and Morgan with her. She immediately took charge and started assigning everyone a task.
"We'll keep the reception where it is." Annalise explained. "It'll be too much trouble to try and move it out here."
When they stopped working for the day it was because it was getting too dark to see. Carl was dead tired from stringing lights and moving furniture, but when you were dead tired you didn't have nightmares. After he wolfed down his dinner he fell into the deepest sleep he had in a long time. When he woke up in the morning he just grabbed a pop-tart and raced out the door before his parents could wake up. There were only three days left to get things in place, and they still had a lot of work to do. They had to take care of the lighting and the sound, and they had to finish setting up the seating for the rest of the guest. He was beginning to wonder if he bit off more than he could chew.
Carl raced down to the greenhouse ready to double his efforts in order to get everything done. When he got to the greenhouse he did a double take so hard he should have gotten whiplash. It looked like more than half of the Q.U.A.D had shown up to help transform the garden into a wedding venue.
Annalise walked up to Carl with a smile. "I promised anyone who volunteered a selfie and an autograph with my husband, even when the world's ending people can't resist a celebrity."
"Thanks, you're a genius." Carl told her.
"You're welcome." Annalise told him. "Would you mind helping with the alter?"
The alter was made out of a huge old ornate wooden swivel mirror they'd found in the hotel's basement. There had been no glass in it so Keisha and Tamekia had hung strings of origami butterflies and flowers from it, after Duane had spray painted it with glitter spray paint. Carl helped move it into place
"Ooh, Carl that is so beautiful." Keisha said as she came up to inspect the altar.
"Thanks, but all I did was move it around."
"No, you put this whole thing together."
"I hope my dad won't be upset."
"He won't, how could he be this place feels magical. I know this doesn't change anything, but you're making this place feel like something else even if it's only for one day."
Carl smiled.
"Save me a dance at the wedding." She said and walked away. Carl watched her walk away. Tomorrow he promised he would let himself have fun. Not like he had on the rooftop, that hadn't been letting him self go, that had been rebelling. A big middle finger to the situation he was stuck in, but at the wedding he would enjoy living.
Everything was changing, but he was getting used to it. His life had not stopped changing since the day his mother had died. Change couldn't be stopped any more than the virus could. The virus was a ticking time bomb strapped to them all. It was always counting down no matter what they did, but after awhile you got used to it by adapting. He was adapting, he was growing, and he was learning how to navigate in this new world, and now that he was leaving their shelter behind for the outside, all he had to do was figure out how to get his dad to adapt to the new world.