FREAK
by
Hawa D.L.
Inside the Mind,
And What They Saw There
Part I
He is always in pain. Every bone in his body is constantly aching. And yet he continually forces himself to move, ignoring the flaring protestations of his body. The freak must always remain in motion. Always.
The first time he sees the place called Hogwarts, it appears less like a castle and more like a gigantic sea anemone, reaching out and up into the sky, innumerable arms in constant motion. It reaches out to him as he crosses over the grounds, wrapping him up in warmth, securing him and questioning him at the same time. You see me, it presses into his mind. I see you too.
The pain is too much to bear sometimes. This time, he excuses himself from his meeting with Dumbledore to visit the restroom. Only instead of using the urinals, he shuts himself up in a stall and cries and screams silent fury at the universe. It's too much. Too damn much to bear sometimes.
He remembers the black. He had lived in the black so long that when the light finally came to him, the first thing it decided to burn was his eyes, the eyes that knew only how to see the black. They would be of no use to him now. But still, sometimes, he remembers…
It is impossible to see, and yet, he perceives more of the world than he ever knew was there. He is blinded by the light, he who was born of the dark. But the light is relentless. The light burns him away, piece by piece, will always burn through him until there is nothing left, until he is a part of it. The light has claimed him, and it will not let him go.
Sleep does not come to him. He does not let it catch him, cannot. He moves and moves and moves until he feels faint, then he moves some more. He moves always, until unconsciousness takes him under, into the black.
He is blindfolded. It is a part of his first training exercise with Moody. He is standing in the middle of the training field while the old man and an unknown number of other soldiers throw stones at him from twelve paces away. The goal is, obviously, to dodge the stones. While blindfolded. He curses his master in a dozen different languages as he is stoned black and blue and red. He growls and spits and yells and shouts, and he snatches a stone out of the air and throws it back out of sheer frustration.
Then suddenly everything stops.
He's amazed at himself. Did he really just...
"Now that's what I'm talking about, Potter!" comes Mad-Eye's voice. "Again!"
He never feels quite so alive as he does when wandering Hogwarts' halls. Strands of its light weave in and out of him as he flows along its veins and arteries. He trails a hand along its walls, the light there so tightly packed together that he can never focus his mind on it directly or else he'll be seeing impressions of it all day long. The light warms wherever he touches it, touching him back.
He laughs, eyes sparkling with joy.
The library becomes his haven. He reads all he can, spending more hours there than in his flat. There is so much to learn, so little time to learn it in. He must be prepared.
He fell asleep. It was an accident, but it happened all the same.
When he dreams this night, at first it is of the dark. This is fine. He feels horror, but it is familiar to him, and he welcomes it. But then the dream changes to the light. He always dreams of the light it seems. Of the burning. Always, always burning.
And when he wakes, it is with a scream on his tongue, his flesh slicked with sweat and hot to the touch
Post Script: Next update should be around 11:59 p.m. EST on 1 June 2O16. No worries, it'll be an actual chapter instead of an interlude next month. The poll asking which weapon should become the freak's focus will close around 11:59 p.m. EST on 7 May 2O16.
Edit 5.29.2O16: Due to life being exciting (in a mostly good way) these past few weeks and it not seeming to be about to slow down anytime soon, the next update has been pushed back ten days. So, check back for a new chapter 11:59 p.m. EST on 11 June 2O16.
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series belongs to one J.K. Rowling. Cover image is "Wasteland" by atomhawk on Deviant Art. I make no profit from this.
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