Connor stared down at his cell phone, pulling a face at the alarm. It was a decent thing but it was probably also a thing for senior citizens. An app, to keep track of his medications. He had to tick off each one when he took it, just so the app would know. It was an exhausting process and he hated it but his father had taken to checking the app every time they were in the room together. It was what he deserved for forgetting his meds and ending up in so much pain that he threw up and his father had to call his doctor.

Adam had not been impressed. Connor, honestly, thought it was karma for lying to Jude, but now he had an app and there was no need for trying to fix his habits. He swiped the reminder away and opened the list of medications. He poured his pills out into their little pile next to his glass of water and took them, telling his app that he did so. It rewarded him with a smiling sun and Connor just rolled his eyes and shut off the app. Nearly the moment after he did, a text came in.

Dad: did you take your medicine?

Connor: yes

Dad: send me a screenshot.

Connor rolled his eyes but knew better than to tell his father it was unnecessary. They had fought about the app all day yesterday but, even as they were fighting, Connor had known that Adam would win. He did as Adam asked.

Dad: Good. Go to school. Do you want to skip tutoring today? Ms. Adams will understand.

Connor: No. I'm not sick or anything. I'll skip when I have a good reason.

He had more reasons to want to go to tutoring than he did to want to avoid it. He put his phone in his pocket, grabbed his bag, and headed out the door. He knew there was only a few minutes until the bus arrived and – just so that he wasn't teased about while he was on the bus – he coated his fingers in hand sanitizer. Anything to help.

Connor got onto the bus and sat in the middle. He was far enough away from the elementary kids who wouldn't cover their mouths when they sneezed but also far enough away from the kids his own age. They wouldn't talk to him or bully him but the fact that they didn't acknowledge him was definitely worse. He readjusted his bag over his shoulder and hopped on the bus, thinking that nothing but getting to see his friend was going to make his day okay. He hoped he was proven wrong but he never was. He never saw Ms. Adams today, Daria was back to ignoring him because of his refusal to have a Halloween party, and not even To Kill A Mockingbird in English could make him happy. They were starting to talk about what they were writing for their essays, which made Connor nervous because he didn't know what to write, and sometimes, honestly, he was a little frustrated about the way that his viewed his favourite book. He knew it was snobby of him and it made him want to question Jude on his thoughts. Almost made him want to question Jude. With the way that he was feeling, he didn't want Jude to let him down by not getting it and, Connor could recognize, there was a good chance that Jude wasn't. He was just reading to get the words. If Connor thought he had the time, he'd made Jude read it again for the content.

He was glad to even just get to the tutoring. Knowing how close Jude was made his spirits feel lighter. Not even Mary taunting him over how he couldn't be smart because his hair was so stupid could bring Connor's spirits down. He kept watching the door and the clock, hoping Jude did arrive a little early and sit in the corner but, by the time that Connor dismissed his pupils, he didn't see Jude. He looked down at his phone, wishing that Jude had one, and he wished that he had any way to get to Jude and talk to him. Connor knew that Jude wasn't inside and so he went outside, looking up and down the street. He spotted Jude, leaning against the end of the building. He had his hood up, with his hands in his pockets. The only reason that Connor knew for sure that it was Jude was because he had long enough hair that the blue strands were sticking out from underneath the hood.

"Jude?" Connor called as he approached, just to double check.

The boy's head turned toward him.

"Hey," Jude murmured.

"What's with the hood? Are you cold?"

"No, um, can we go sit somewhere else today, away from people? They're going to stare and I'm a little paranoid."

Connor caught Jude's arm as he turned to walk down the street. "Are you okay, first?"

"Yeah, sort of. I'll tell you when we're sitting down, promise."

"Okay," Connor agreed but he reluctantly let go of Jude "Do you still want to get our hot chocolate?"

Connor didn't really want to walk. He was tired. But when Jude nodded, he jammed his hands in his jeans pockets and kept pace with Jude's stride. The coffee shop wasn't far away but, the problem was that they weren't sitting there today. Connor collected their usual snacks and headed back outside, giving Jude his cup.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Um, come on," Jude said, "I think I know the place."

"Is it far?" Connor asked, trying not to sound like he was whining. "I'm just tired."

"Not too far. Like, two blocks."

Two blocks. Okay. He could walk two blocks. He kept a tight hold of his hot chocolate and the bag that had that cinnamon bun in it and just watched Jude's steps. They were both quiet as they walked, both thinking that they wouldn't speak until that they wouldn't get to where they were going. Connor only looked up as Jude turned, cutting behind a restaurant. To Connor's surprise, they were in, what he could only call, a small park. There were plenty of trees, tended flower boxes, and some benches scattered around. There weren't any people in the park but it was so hidden and out of the way that Connor would be surprised if many people knew about it. Jude led him over to one of the out of the way benches and sat down.

"So, what's with the hood?" Connor asked.

Jude reached up and drew it down.

"Jude!" Connor exclaimed.

He put his hot chocolate on the bench and reached out for Jude before he could think about it.

"What happened to you?"

"Um, turns out my guardian came home earlier. She didn't like that I was hanging out with you. She thinks we're … we're more than friends. She thinks I'm going to get hurt again or killed because of it."

"And, so what, she decided to hurt you to convince you not to get hurt? That doesn't make any sense. Does it hurt?"

"Kind of," Jude admitted. "It's stiff. Pulls when I talk but it'll heal."

"It looks like it hurts."

Jude shrugged and took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"People seem to hit you a lot," Connor said and surprise came over Jude's face before a cloud settled over it. Connor wondered if it was the right thing to say.

"It's … fine. Life could be worse. Was worse. It's …" Jude sighed and looked away from Connor's face. "I mean, we don't have to talk about it, right?"

"No, we don't have to," Connor said. "But if you want to, I know how to listen."

"Not today," Jude said. "Maybe someday but not today."

"That's okay." Connor couldn't keep his eyes off Jude's bruised face. "I'm sorry you got hurt because you came to see me."

"It's not your fault," Jude said. "I make my own decisions. I knew it might happen."

Connor couldn't even picture a world where he knew that he might end up getting hit for seeing friends. He wrapped his hands around his hot chocolate. The more he learnt about Jude, the more he understood the boy but the less he understood the world that Jude lived in and also how Jude could be okay in the world he lived in. He guessed he couldn't understand it until he lived it but he didn't think he'd ever want to. He felt a little guilty for thinking it but it wasn't like his life was a picnic either.

"And you still wanted to see me today?"

"You're my friend," Jude said. "I pick you. Also, I can't let her win this or I'll never have any freedom. It's not about who you are, specifically, it's about the fact that someone like you exists in my life at all."

Connor nodded though understanding that was out of his grasp too.

"Should you be putting ice on it?"

"It'll heal," Jude repeated. "Really, we don't have to talk about it."

"We're friends, I get to worry," Connor said and Jude nodded.

"I guess so." Jude had a small grin on his face. "I'll get used to the friend thing."

"Me too," Connor whispered. "How's your hot chocolate?"

"It's always good. Thanks for always getting it."

"Welcome," Connor said. "I don't mind."

Jude stared down at the bench seat for a long moment. "I'll get you something good at Christmas. You know, make up for it."

"You don't have to," Connor protested, feeling bad. Jude couldn't even buy his own hot chocolate, how was he going to get Connor a Christmas present? Connor couldn't expect it.

"You get me hot chocolate and birthday presents. I know you're going to get me a Christmas present too. Don't worry, Connor."

"All right but only because you told me not to."

Jude laughed. "Besides, I've got time to think about it. Unless your birthday is between now and Christmas."

"No, that's your birthday."

Jude let out another little laugh. "Yeah, well, I know when my birthday is."

"And now I do too. And, I promise, cupcakes for your birthday."

"It's not a Tuesday or a Thursday."

"I just spent a weekend with you. It's not going to kill me to see you more than twice a week," Connor said. "I'd kind of like it."

"Me too."

"So, the closest store for the cupcake place you want to go to is near my school," Connor said. "Do you want to meet me there? Or I can come here and meet you and we can go back together?"

"Well, that doesn't really make sense, does it?" Jude mused. "I'll be outside your school. What time does it let out?"

"Like, three," Connor said.

"I'll be there. Anchor Beach, right?"

"Right," Connor said.

"Schools make me nervous," Jude confessed.

"I won't make you go inside," Connor promised.

"Thanks. You'll remember these plans when we actually get to my birthday, right?"

"I wouldn't forget you," Connor exclaimed. "Trust me a little!"

"I do," Jude promised. "Why? Do you think I don't?"

Connor shook his head. "I never thought about it. I guess I just assumed you trusted me the same amount that I trust you."

"That's fair to say, I think," Jude mused, "but I can't possibly know how much you trust me."

"I think that's the definition of trust."

"Yeah, well, the definition of friendship is handing over the cinnamon bun," Jude quipped.

"And reading me the next chapter of Mockingbird," Connor said, holding out the bag.

Jude grabbed it out of his hand. "After the cinnamon bun."

"All right but only because you said so."

Jude ripped off a piece of the cinnamon bun and popped it in his mouth. "You're going to make me bossy."

"You weren't already bossy?"

"Shut up."

"Sure, but just because you say so."

"Shut up," Jude repeated but Connor just laughed at him.

(-.-)

He and Callie weren't talking. Jude sighed and stirred his half-warm soup around his bowl. He wasn't motivated to heat it further, if only because he had to walk by Callie to get to the stove and she looked like she was in a mood. He hadn't even gotten a chance to ask her why the trip was cancelled – if she would have even told him to begin with. He scooped up one of the mushy potato chunks with his spoon and he watched Callie stir her spoon around the bowl. He hated the silence but he didn't know how to break it. He didn't even know if he could. The only thing worse than the silence would be if he tried to speak to her and she didn't talk back. Jude didn't think that she had anything to be that mad about but who was he to tell Callie anything? No one.

"I'm leaving for a couple of days," Callie said suddenly. "Maybe I should get someone to check and make sure you're here."

"They'd kill me, skin me, use me as a flag to welcome you back with."

"Don't be gruesome."

"They would kill me. If you gave them permission to be in here and I was alone. I was safe out of here, Callie."

"Do you not want to be here anymore?"

"I want to be with you but this place really sucks."

"Yeah," Callie said and her spoon clinked against the side of the bowl. "We can't leave."

"I know."

"I wish we could."

"I know."

"I think about running the way all the time but it's not worth the risk of what will happen if we're hunted down and found."

"So, when does it end?" Jude asked.

"I don't know," she whispered. "This isn't what I thought would happen."

Jude didn't ask anything else. He didn't want to hear what she thought was going to happen when they hooked up with Nic. They'd been young, she'd probably been idyllic. He couldn't blame her, he supposed, but he guessed that was exactly what he was doing. It was also so easy to. She was the reason they were here and also the reason they were stuck. Arguably, she was also the reason they were both alive but since that one couldn't be proven, it always depended on Jude's mood whether or not he was going to believe it.

Callie put her bowl on the counter and left the room, heading for the bedroom. It was still early but, for all Jude knew, the old-fashioned alarm clock she kept on her side was set to go off at three in the morning. She shut the door most of the way and Jude curled up in his chair, taking a bite of his cooling soup. He tilted his head back, pulling his strands of hair down in front of his face. Would it bother Callie if he did his hair now? Probably. But he felt like no matter what he did now, he would be bothering he and he hated that feeling. Jude pulled his feet underneath of him and watch soup drip from his spoon down into the bowl.

He hoped Connor was having a better Friday night than he was.

(-.-)

This was what dying felt like.

Connor thought it every time and it was worse every time that he did. He hung his head over the toilet, feeling dizzy and hot. Everything inside of him hurt. He was probably going to throw up his kidneys or something. He rested his head against the side of the toilet seat and just tried not to cry. It was hard to squash it down. No matter how many times he went through this, it never failed to knock him breathless.

"Connor," Adam called, knocking on the bathroom door. "I'm coming in."

The door creaked when it opened and Connor cringed when he felt Adam's hands gently touch his back. He hurt too much for that. He hurt too much for even the cool porcelain of the toilet seat against his side. He wanted to feel nothing but he knew that, no matter how many pain meds he was given, it couldn't take it all away.

"Let me take you to bed, okay? Let's go lay down."

"Okay," Connor whispered. He was going to bruise from the tile floor. He knew it. He didn't want to know it.

His father scooped him up easily and he couldn't help but whimper.

"You lost weight again, Connor."

"Threw it all up."

It was a weak joke and it would never have made anyone laugh. His father put him gently in bed, a bucket and a glass of water on his nightstand. Connor let Adam tuck him in like he was small again, adjusting his head on the pillow and pulling all the blankets up around him. Connor's eyes kept drifting. He would have loved to fall asleep but he was being forcibly kept in the present.

"Everything okay?" Adam pressed a hand to Connor's forehead, as if he could do something. "No more meds for a while, okay? I'll bring them up when you need them."

"Dad," Connor murmured. "Dad, where's –"

He grabbed for the bucket and threw up again. His stomach clenched painfully – there was nothing left in it to throw up.

"Oh, Connor," Adam said. "Here, I'll clean it and then I'll go find Jellybean for you, okay?"

"Thanks."

Connor gripped his pillow tightly, trying to ignore the urge to throw up again. He couldn't throw up until Dad gave him the bucket back because he didn't want to move again if Dad had to make his bed. Tears leaked hot and heavy down his cheeks and he was glad that Adam didn't seem to want to look at them. Adam put the bucket down and left the room again a moment later. He heard Dad calling for Jelly and he was so glad when Adam came back with the old cat in his arms. He put her down on the bed next to Connor and she pressed into his side and he lifted his hand, resting it against her back. She flopped onto her side and cuddled close to him.

"I'll be in the next room. Knock on the wall if you need me."

"Okay."

Once Adam was gone, Connor hid his face down in Jellybean's fur and let himself cry.

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about The Island Of Misfit Toys, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash the dash island dash of dash misfit dash toys. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~