Connor stared down at the cover of To Kill A Mockingbird, trying not to look up at the whiteboard where Mrs. Saum had written ESSAY TOPICS in large block letters. He still had no idea what to write about and he really didn't want to think about that particular shortcoming. Mrs. Saum was still organizing papers on her desk and people were still talking loudly around him, knowing they didn't have to settle until their teacher turned around. Connor was still caught off-guard by something hitting his desk and it felt just like Halloween.

"Hi, Daria."

"Hi, Connor!" she grinned brightly.

"What is this?" Connor picked up the bright red envelope with his name written on it.

Daria leant against his desk. "Open it."

So, he did, skimming the invitation. "You're having another party."

"It's my Christmas party," Daria said. "My parents are going out of town on the first Saturday. I mean, everyone's invited but I decided to give actual invitations to special people."

"What's the difference between your Christmas party and your regular parties?" Connor asked, thinking that he wouldn't really know. He had never gone to one of Daria's parties, though they seemed to attract most of their grade and some of the grades above and below.

"Santa hats. Mistletoe," she said, and she grinned. "Will you come?"

"I might," Connor said. "You said anyone can come?"

"Yeah. It's mostly BYOB but if you're going to have trouble getting drinks, let me know, and I can put you on Maddie's sister's list."

"Thanks, Daria," Connor said, seeing Mrs. Saum turn to face them. "I'll definitely think about it."

"Do that," she said, and her smile widened. "I definitely want to see you there."

(-.-)

Jude dealt himself a round of solitaire, trying to concentrate on the bent cards instead of glancing up at Connor's face. He had been eavesdropping, though, and Connor was trying to help his students with math today. It wasn't interesting to Jude – but what about school was interesting to Jude? Plus, though he was slightly more familiar with the numbers than the letters, he still didn't really understand math. Maybe he'd bring that up to Connor next. Maybe he'd actually talk to Mariana, if he didn't think he could handle the thought of Connor teaching him anything else. He lost his round and quietly dealt himself another but he didn't get to finish it. The two kids ran by him, yelling at one another over cleaning their room, and Jude packed up his cards so he could fall into step with Connor as they headed out the door.

"I'm never having kids," Connor said as they left the Centre.

"Michael and Mary help you make that decision?"

"They didn't hurt," Connor said. "Well, sort of. Mary hit me in the arm with a book and so that'll probably turn black by tomorrow."

Jude supposed that Connor had been living with his medical problems for long enough that he could afford to be nonchalant about it but Jude had just found out. He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. Connor could probably sense his awkwardness because he lapsed into silence, only trying to speak again when they walked into the coffee shop.

"Look, they have a vanilla latte now. I'm going to try it. Do you want to try something else?"

Jude shook his head. He wasn't a fan of change but that shouldn't surprise anyone.

"Okay, you go sit."

Jude went and took a spot on one of the couches, feeling restless as he waited for Connor to return. He tucked one leg up underneath of him and tapped his fingers along the coffee table and then he pulled out his deck of cards, feeding one out just so that he could toy with it. Connor came back with their cinnamon bun and drinks.

"Do you want to play a game of something?" Connor asked.

Jude pushed the card back in the box. "Not really. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"About you." Even though that wasn't how Jude meant it, his tongue still felt too big for his mouth at the words. "I don't know. How hard did Mary hit you? How hard would someone have to hit you for it to bruise?"

Connor pulled his shirt sleeve up slightly, just to bare his wrist. "Squeeze me. Try it."

"No. I think that would hurt me too." That definitely gave too much away but Connor didn't seem to notice. Or, maybe, he just didn't care.

Connor gave himself a hard flick on the wrist. "I bruise, it hurts. I take some vitamins and other medications and I try not to fall down stairs. It's not … Um, it's not the end of the world. Really, you'll barely be able to see that tomorrow."

"I'm not seeing you tomorrow."

"Oh, right."

Jude definitely thought that Connor looked disappointed that time.

"You'll have to show someone else at school."

Connor suddenly looked away from him. "They think it's freaky."

"Freaky is what I hope other people think of me."

"You're not."

"My life's easier if I don't have friends, I thought I told you that."

Connor shrugged. "You kinda talked to me first."

"I was drunk," Jude quipped.

Connor sort of laughed and sort of looked like he believed that Jude had said. "Have you ever been drunk?"

Jude shook his head. What would be the point? In order to get booze, he'd have to steal it – probably from Nic – and it wouldn't be worth getting caught. And, there was no way that Callie wouldn't find out, and that definitely wouldn't be worth drinking, especially since he'd be drinking alone. It seemed sad to go through just to be alone.

"I've never had a drink of anything." Connor glanced over at Jude and Jude shook his head. "Daria handed out invitations for a Christmas party she's having the first weekend of December."

"That's really advanced planning."

Connor nodded absently, sipping at his drink. "Her parents are out of town. Her dad works at the same company as mine and that's their Christmas party. Maddie's got an older sister that'll buy drinks. Anyway, she invited and, so, I'm inviting you."

"Wait, what?"

"I know it can take you some time to work things out with your guardian –"

"No, not that part," Jude interrupted. "You want me to go to a school party with you?"

"I've heard about Daria's parties. They're big events. I'd only go if you came too. You can stay at my house after."

Jude shifted on the couch and ripped off a piece of the cinnamon bun, though he didn't eat it. "Your dad –"

"– has an office party and will be staying at a hotel, provided you'll stay with me anyway."

"I'll stay with you," Jude agreed, because all he could think about was sleeping next to Connor. "But, we might have to fight about the party."

"We don't fight," Connor said. "How's your hot chocolate?"

"It's good. Thank you. How's your latte?"

"I really like it," Connor said. "Do you want to try?"

Jude took the cup that was offered to him and sipped at it. "Wow, that's really good." He handed it back to Connor and sighed. "Sorry, I feel so crazy. Last night at home wasn't great."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Connor offered.

"People that I don't like and who aren't supposed to see me hang around often. In parts of the house that I'm not allowed to go in. Sometimes, they get loud. It can get kind of scary." Fifteen-year-old boys weren't supposed to be scared but Jude had to admit that's exactly what he felt when he heard obnoxious yelling and worse sounds coming from the ground floor. "I'm just waiting for something terrible to happen. Which is a really sucky way to live."

Connor nodded. "I hate that feeling. When there's something out of control going on and you're just so powerless to stop it, even though you didn't ask for it. Even though there's no way for you to fix it."

Jude couldn't stop staring at Connor's face, thinking that, maybe, just maybe, Connor understood a little bit more than Jude had originally given him credit for.

"I think, next time, I'll try the vanilla latte," Jude said, his heart twisting.

Maybe change wasn't so bad after all.

(-.-)

"Hi, Connor!"

Connor closed the office door behind him. "Hi, Ms. Adams."

She waited patiently while he made himself comfortable in the chair across from her desk and tucked his backpack under the chair. Finally, he rested his head on his hand, his elbow on the arm of the chair.

"So, how's your week been? I noticed I missed some classes at the beginning of the week."

"I got really sick from treatment last Friday," Connor said. "Dad made me stay home a few days to try and recover. It wasn't a big deal. Apparently, that's just going to happen but Jude came to check on me on Tuesday."

"And how did that go?"

"Well, at first, I let him think I had the flu," Connor admitted, pulling a face. "But, um, he saw how bruised up my arms were and asked questions."

"Did you tell him the truth?"

Connor shook his head, feeling ashamed. "I told him I had a blood disorder."

"Connor, you know that's almost worse than not telling him anything at all. When he finds out the truth, it's going to hurt that you lied to him about so much."

"I know," Connor whispered, because that was all that he had been able to think about. "I know, trust me, but I just … can't. I can't." Tears welled up in his eyes as he whispered, "I'm getting worse, Ms. Adams."

"Oh, Connor."

He held up his hand. "I knew it was going to happen. I knew. But, um, I'm going to have to tell him soon. I know I am and so I just want to be able to actually enjoy the time before I actually tell him. Isn't that okay?"

"It's okay," Ms. Adams said, but Connor could almost tell that it was from a place of sympathy rather than advice from a counselor.

"I felt really happy when he came to see me on Tuesday," Connor said. "I forgot what it was like to have a friend care about you like that. I wish I'd met him earlier."

"Well, like you said, it's time to enjoy your time."

Connor nodded. He wanted to tell Ms. Adams that he wished he had met Jude earlier so maybe Jude wouldn't be living in a bad spot. He wanted to tell Ms. Adams how bad he felt about thinking that he could make such a considerable difference in Jude's life, especially when Jude clearly didn't want to think about his life being changed. He wanted to tell Ms. Adams all about Jude, but he remembered Jude pulling faces over the fact that Adam and Mariana knew his name. He knew that Jude wouldn't like Connor telling Ms. Adams anything about him, even if Jude never found out about it.

"I guess I have to figure out how I want to do that," Connor said, and then he sighed. "Dad wants me to live life normally like I would if nothing was really wrong."

"Is that what you want?"

"I want for nothing to really be wrong."

And, though Connor could tell that she tried, Ms. Adams really had nothing to say to that.

(-.-)

Jude was laughing at him. He wasn't doing it in an obnoxious or mean way and Connor didn't really feel mocked. Still, he could feel Jude's amusement from where the other boy was sitting, even though Jude hadn't said anything about it. They were at the coffee shop, post Centre, as was their usual Thursday routine, except, Connor was on his laptop and Jude was amusing himself with solitaire.

"It's not fair that I'm doing homework while you're having fun."

"You could just not do the homework," Jude suggested.

"Dad would get mad if I slacked off. Plus, I was hoping that you could be helpful."

Jude snorted. "Me? How could I possibly be helpful with that essay? I haven't even read the book yet."

"I know, I know. I was just hoping that being here with you would be more inspirational than staring at my living room wall again, trying to come up with something. Plus, I'm going to have to write the thing this weekend."

"First draft due on Wednesday," Jude parroted back at him. "I thought a first draft could suck."

"It can, I would just rather it didn't." Connor sighed and nudged the laptop toward Jude. "Here, you write it."

Jude looked away from him, shuffling his cards with the finesse of a Vegas dealer. "Connor, if I can't read, what makes you think I can write?"

Connor frowned, ashamed that he had never actually thought about that. "Let's play Hangman, then."

"What?" Jude asked, his brown eyes widening. "I thought you had to write an essay."

"And it's clearly not happening. Do you know how to play Hangman?"

"I think? Is it hard, though?"

"No, and it'll help with the writing stuff."

"Then it sounds hard."

"Do you not want to?" Connor asked. He didn't want to bully Jude into anything.

"I mean, what's the point of learning one but not the other?" Jude asked and he slid his ratty cards back into the box. "You're going to have to be so patient."

"I'm already patient."

"That's true."

Connor shut his laptop and then dug out his notebook. He wrote out the alphabet in both uppercase and lowercase letters, Jude watched him a little too intently. He ripped the page out and then sat it on their table.

"For reference," he said. "Okay, tell me how to play."

"You pick a word and I have to guess it."

"That's the simplest way to put it," Connor agreed. "Do you want to go first?"

He wasn't surprised when Jude shook his head. Connor quickly explained the few other rules of the game while he set up his page. He hesitated on picking a word. He didn't want to pick something that was way too hard for Jude but, at the same time, if he picked something too easy, it would be equally offensive. In the end, he outlined the spaces for 'BOO RADLEY'. At least Jude was guaranteed to know it.

Jude inched closer and stared down at the page. "Is that two words? Isn't that cheating?"

"I could pick a whole sentence if I wanted to," Connor replied.

"Please don't want to," Jude grumbled. "Okay, let's start with 'A'."

"You're in luck," Connor said and he filled in the spot.

Jude looked pretty happy with himself. "Which ones are the vowels?"

"A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y," Connor said, underlining them on the example page. "The rest are called consonants."

"Consonants," Jude repeated under his breath. "Okay. Um, E."

Connor filled it in and Jude's next guess was an 'I'. Connor had to hang a head for that and Jude looked disappointed about it. To Connor's relief, he looked more determined than defeated and that was what Connor wanted. He didn't want Jude to be upset, especially since reading and writing was the only way Connor felt like he could help Jude. Or, rather, the only way that Jude would let him help.

"O," Jude said, a little too firmly, like he could will an 'O' into the word. Connor filled in the two O's and Jude squinted. "OO? What, like goo?"

"Is that a guess?"

"No! I don't think it's goo. Try 'U'." Connor added a body to the head and Jude frowned. "Y?"

Connor added the letter and Jude seemed satisfied for a moment. Jude picked up the alphabet sheet and ran his finger along it, landing on the 'N'.

"Want an arm or a leg?" Connor asked.

"Leg," Jude whined. "Okay, uh, D."

"Want the D?" Connor joked and Jude just levelled a flat look at him. "Okay, okay. Not funny. I get it. But, you've got one, like it or not."

"Like it," Jude said. "Are any of those the same letter?"

Connor shook his head.

"Well, that sucks. Okay, um, C?"

"Leg or arm?"

"Arm."

"Try closer to the beginning of the alphabet," Connor hinted.

"B?"

Connor filled it in.

"Boo? What would … Oh! Boo Radley!"

Connor could only smile at Jude's enthusiastic expression. Jude's hands clasped together like he was going to clap for himself but, instead, he nudged at Connor.

"Fill it in! That means I won, right?"

"Right," Connor said, but he hated to look away from Jude's face to complete the puzzle.

"You really are obsessed with this book."

"It's a good book!" Connor said and then he pushed the notebook toward Jude. "Your turn."

Jude nodded and took the pen. He drew the gallows and then he hesitated. He turned and reached into his tiny black backpack, pulling out To Kill A Mockingbird.

"Now who's obsessed."

"I have to make sure I can spell it!" Jude said, slightly defensive. "Otherwise, what's the point?"

"I guess," Connor admitted.

Jude frowned in concentration as he drew seven large blanks across the page, staring down at his handiwork and then double checked the book.

"Are you ready?" Connor asked.

"I think so," Jude said. "Yeah, okay, I'm ready.

"All right, A," Connor guessed, and they continued on.

If you have a song that reminds you of The Island Of Misfit Toys and would like it to be on the playlist, send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions. This week's songs are: All Through The Night by Sleeping At Last and Without You by AJ Rafael.

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about The Island Of Misfit Toys, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash the dash island dash of dash misfit dash toys. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~