Julie found herself being stirred awake. For a moment she just lay there in confusion, tying to remember where she was and why she was awake. She looked at the clock on the bedside table and it read three in the morning. The man's body lying next to her jerked once again and she realized that it was Desmond, the ring on her hand only proving it. They'd moved into this small house on the suburbs just two days ago and Julie still had trouble adjusting to the new way of living. Ever since they'd made it out of the island, living had truly been a struggle. It was actually hard to come back to the rhythm of shopping, taking care of the house, cooking and just being among civilization. She and Desmond had spent a few days in the hotel, looking for a place to live and then the opportunity had present itself like a true miracle. They'd found a small and cute house on the suburbs and bought it immediately in fear that such an occasion would just get past them. They weren't worried about the money since what they'd already spent had only made a small dent in their account. Julie was confident that soon they would settle themselves in properly, buy more furniture, make this house a real home. She was happy most of the times when trying not to think too much of the island they'd left behind and especially, of Claire. They really weren't kidding when they said you couldn't have it all, Julie thought. Still, she thanked God every single day for what she did have. Desmond appearing in her life, even as damaged as he was, was all her dreams coming true. She didn't need anything else for herself if she had him and his love. Besides, she was damaged, too, and his problems just now made itself known again.
Julie reached to the bedside table and switched on the lamp, then she sat up in the bed and looked at Desmond. He still didn't wake up, clearly dreaming about the button or Charlie drowning. It was always one of those. Julie's heart ached every time she saw him like this; unable to wake up, to end the nightmare, his body drenched in cold sweat. Sometimes he even said something, usually just a few words here and there, but once she clearly heard him telling Charlie not to do it and one other he screamed her own name and told her that he loved her.
With her face winced in pain as she truly couldn't take the man she loved suffering like this and would gladly just take some of the pain, if not all of it if, she tentatively reached her hand to his shoulder and gently shook him.
"Desmond? Desmond, honey, please, wake up," she said and then he suddenly opened his eyes, looking around in confusion and fear. Once his panicked eyes met hers, he took a deep breath and brought his hands to his face, covering it like in shame that she was forced to do this for him yet once again.
"Hey, it's ok," she said in a soothing voice when touching his shoulder again and squeezing it gently and reassuringly. "It's not your fault, Des, that you have nightmares."
"I'm just sorry I keep waking you up," he said, sighing and then finally taking his hands off his face and sitting up. He reached to the glass of water he kept on his bedside table and drunk it all in one gulp.
"You have nothing to be apologizing for. I'm just glad I'm here for you," she reassured him again when scooting over to him and pulling him into a hug. "There's no point in fear," she said what she always did when he woke up in terror. "It's all over. We're never going back there. We're together."
"I love you," he just said when hugging her back tightly and breathing her in. She was his constant, his anchor. Thanks to her he was a happy man and once he was haunted by his nightmares about the button or Charlie's death, she was always there to tell him that it was all over. He truly didn't know what he would do without her and quite frankly, he'd rather not even think about it. She was his everything and he truly thought that he'd won a lottery when she'd fallen in love with him. God knew he didn't deserve it. But then again, she kept telling him that he did deserve it for all the bad things that had already happened to him. She said that he was a good and loving man and that he would always deserve the best. Maybe she was right just a little. Or maybe she was the one making him a better man. After all, before he'd met her, he hadn't been at his best. He'd been lost, nearly pushed into committing suicide, looking for comfort in alcohol.
"I love you, too. So much," she answered him when stroking his hair. "I wish I could help you some more. I wish we could just talk to someone about those nightmares, but then again, we can't talk to any psychologist about the island."
"Jack's a doctor. He already offered to give me a prescription, but I don't want drugs to help me sleep," Desmond reminded her. "I can fall asleep on my own."
"Yes, but what if those drugs could help you?" Julie asked with care, respecting his decision, but wanting to help him just the same. She pulled away and looked at his face.
"They won't. Just because I'd be drugged in order to sleep, doesn't mean that those nightmares would stop haunting me during the day. We've tried talking about it, we've tried distraction… It just doesn't work that way, Julie. I'm sorry. I'm sure it'll get better one day."
"I want this for you so much." She brought a hand to his face and cupped his cheek. She, too, sometimes had dreams, usually about Claire left alone on the island, driven crazy because of the lost of her child. Only those weren't nearly as frequent as Desmond's dreams and if Julie was really tired, she didn't have them at all.
Desmond leaned towards her and kissed her gently.
"What time is it?" he asked when he pulled away.
"After three," Julie informed him.
"Plenty of time for us and then some sleep. What time is the funeral?" he made sure.
The next day - or rather today - Julie realized, was Christian Shephard's funeral, delayed by whole months. The Shephard family still didn't have the body, but there had been no funeral in the first place because of the plane crash. Jack's family had never had a memorial service for him either since they'd kept their faith. As it turned out, they'd had it for a reason. Jack had called two days ago asking if Julie and Desmond wanted to come. He hadn't pushed, just merely told them about the date and they really wanted to be there for him. After all, they hadn't seen him since the day of the press conference.
"Nine," Julie remembered and gave Desmond her answer. "We can get up before eight and we'll get there on time."
"Good," he said and pulled her with him towards the bed and started kissing her more passionately, his hand running all over her body, working her up into arousal. Only he never had to work hard for it since she was so in love with him that she was ready immediately. Still, she enjoyed the foreplay just the same and then, they finally preceded to even more exciting activities, him sliding inside her and making love to her slowly. The feel of her body all over him, of his flesh moving intimately inside her, her lips on his own, her attentive hands, it all caused him to finally forget his nightmare and feel truly happy once again.
A funeral without a body was a strange occurrence, but Julie quickly realized that what they said was right - funerals were for the living, not for the dead ones. The Shephard family needed to say their goodbye once and for all and to let go of Christian, to finally deal with his death.
When Julie and Desmond entered the church, they spotted Jack with his mother sitting in the first row, but they chose to stay in the back and talk to Jack once the whole thing was over. Kate with Aaron in her arms soon joined them and that was it. No one else from the Oceanic Seven came. Still, they didn't expect them to. Sun was back in Korea while Sayid was travelling with Nadia, and Hurley was probably spending time with his family.
When the funeral was over, Julie actually received an explanation to why Hugo wasn't there. Kate took her and Desmond aside, so they could talk freely and say hi to Aaron while Jack was talking to his relatives.
"Hugo's locked up," Kate informed in a hushed voice.
"What?" Julie seemed surprised. "Are you sure?"
"He claims that he can talk to dead people," Kate explained sadly. "He's temporarily held in a mental facility. The doctors are giving him the diagnosis right now. Jack pulled a few strings and apparently, Hugo is really sick. He actually has a history of mental illness."
"It makes you think that maybe he'd be better off on the island," Desmond dared say, but they all understood him perfectly. If Rose had fought off cancer and Locked had walked again after being completely paralyzed, then Hugo could've been healthy there, too.
"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now except try to help him," Kate said and then her eyes rested on something in the distance. "Does that woman seem familiar to you somehow?" she asked when squinting her eyes.
Both Julie and Desmond turned around to look at the person Kate pointed out. She was blonde and middle aged; just now talking to Jack.
"Jack seems rather shocked, doesn't he?" Desmond noticed.
"Oh, God," Julie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, Jack meeting her eyes at the same moment. "It's Claire's mother. It has to be," she said.
"I think you're right," Kate admitted. "She does look a little like Claire. But what could she be doing here talking to Jack?"
"I guess we'll find out soon enough," Julie said when noticing Jack shooting a very nervous glance towards Aaron. Then the woman finally left the church, but she did give Jack her card first. Why?
"Jack, is everything all right?" Kate asked the moment the young and only living Shephard male finally came over to them.
"I'm not… I'm not really sure," Jack admitted, shock still visible on his face. "Julie, Desmond, I really appreciate you coming," he then said and gave them both a hug.
"Good to see you, brotha," Desmond nodded.
"Was it Claire's mother?" Julie wanted to know.
"As a matter of fact, yes, it was," Jack agreed and then looked at Aaron. "It turns out… God, I don't even know how to begin wrapping my mind around all of this." He ran his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture.
"Jack, you're scaring me," Kate admitted.
"I'm… Apparently, I'm his uncle," Jack pointed Aaron and the three of them just looked at him in confusion, not understanding a thing. "Claire was my half-sister," he finally followed with an explanation and now all of them were rendered shocked. "My father flew to Australia in the first place to meet with her and then he drank himself to death. Claire was pregnant and she wanted to give the baby to a family back in Los Angeles and I was taking my father's body home… God, how could I spend so much time with her and not see this? Why didn't we figure it out?"
"Well, it wasn't like you two spent much time talking to each other about your past," Julie said, trying to put Jack's mind at rest.
"I have a sister and I left her there," Jack told her, tears gathering up in his eyes. "How could I just do something like that?"
"How could I take my best friend's child and leave?" Julie just asked and felt Desmond's arm immediately going around her to give her the much needed comfort and support. Julie noticed that the gesture caused Kate to actually sadden and she thought that Kate and Jack should really work through their problems and be together. Still, it wasn't the time for that just yet. Now they had something more important to talk about.
"We all thought we'd come back for them, brotha," Desmond then said.
"I was the one who convinced you all to lie," Jack argued, guilt pouring out of his voice.
"No, you just were the one who saw things clearly," Kate assured him when reaching a hand towards him and gently touching his shoulder. "We all know that there wasn't really any other choice. We would never be free if we told the truth."
"They will never be free," Jack pointed out.
"Maybe eventually, they will find a way out." Julie chose to have hope. There was not a day that went by without her thinking about Claire and not feeling guilty. But then again, if Claire had a choice, would she rather Aaron have a chance at real life among civilization? Somewhere he could play with his peers, get the education he needed and have the health care he so deserved?
"The question now is," Desmond started, "will you tell Claire's mother that Aaron is her grandson?"
"I don't know. I really don't know…"
"We can't," Kate said to their astonishment. "If we do, then who knows what she'll do? We don't know if we can trust her. What if she files for custody? What if she takes Aaron away from us forever?"
"Technically, Aaron doesn't belong to us," Julie pointed out.
"Yes, but…" Kate stopped for a moment and then resumed, "I just don't think we should do it now when we already told everyone that he's my son. I'm still a criminal and I'll go to trial. Did you forget about that? If they find out I was lying, they'll never believe me again and they'll lock me up for good."
"Kate, Kate, calm down," Jack said when placing both of his hands on the brunette's shoulders and looking her in the eye. "No one is doing anything, all right? Yes, you have a valid point here. We cannot let you go to prison. We've gone too far with this and it's not only about you anymore. If we tell them about Aaron, then they'll begin questioning everything, absolutely everything else we told them. They can take away out settlement money and Hugo's in a psychiatric hospital right now. What if they talk to him and he tells them everything just because he won't know any better? We just… I feel bad about it, but we can't tell Claire's mother about Aaron."
Once Julie and Desmond got home, they were still talking about yet another difficult matter they'd faced.
"I just feel so sorry for this woman," Desmond said when shaking his head. "But I know Jack is right. We can't just tell her. Then we'll lose everything and I can't let that happen." He walked towards his fiancée who just turned on the coffee maker in the kitchen. He put his arms around her from behind and just enjoyed holding her.
"I know," she agreed with him when putting her hands over his own that rested against her stomach and leaning into his chest. "If only we knew that before. I'm sick of our life being so complicated, you know?" She then spotted a blinking light on their answering machine. "Somebody left a message." She pressed the button, listening.
"This is Kurt Stevens calling Julie Stanley. Miss Stanley, we have an opening in our Literature Department and I would be delighted if you accepted a teaching position at the university. It came to my attention that you graduated here at the top of your class and professor Alexander Roys suggested you should take the vacancy. Please, call me at your earliest convenience." The message ended, followed by another beep.
Julie could feel Desmond's body tensing behind her, his hold on her tightening.
"How dare he?" the Scotsman finally hissed.
"Des, it's fine. I don't want to teach anyway," Julie tried to calm him down. She turned around, forcing him to release her from his arms and she faced him. "Teaching was never on my list of things to do," she assured him when cupping his face. "And I don't want to have anything to do with that guy ever again."
"It doesn't matter," Desmond just said. "Don't you see what he's doing? He won't just let go and I can't understand why. He never loved you. Not really."
"I never loved him either," she sighed, "but I guess his pride is hurt exactly because I don't care anymore. Let me just call Stevens back. I'll say no to the job and the whole thing will be over."
"No, it won't be." Desmond shook his head. "I need to talk to the guy."
"What? No! No way! Why would you? He's not worth it."
"I feel like I need to," Desmond said. "And don't worry. I won't get violent, honey, I promise. I just want to talk to him."
"The last time he tried to talk, you punched him in the face and walked away, remember?" she asked.
"It was right after you slapped him," he reminded her.
Julie couldn't help but smile at the fond memory.
"I just don't want him to say something to you that would hurt your feelings. We're happy together. Why ruin it by talking to him?"
"If I don't talk to him, he may keep bothering you. Is this something that you want?" Desmond asked the perfect question. "I can make him stop. And trust me, I will be civil."
Julie just stood there, biting her lip, having completely forgotten about the coffee she was going to make. The water in the maker was already heated up, but she just sighed and turned it off. "All right. Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't want to see him ever again, but he needs to be put in his place. Just please, don't get yourself in any trouble."
"I won't. I promise. I have too much to lose," Desmond assured her and kissed her briefly, then he exited the house.
Once Desmond reached the door to professor Roys's office, he took a deep breath and did his best to school himself. It wouldn't do him any good if he lashed out at the guy again. It hadn't worked the last time, after all, and he didn't want to get in any trouble. He couldn't do it to Julie. She trusted him and was waiting for him home. Finally, he raised his hand to knock and then he walked inside.
Alexander Roys looked up at him from his sitting position by the desk, surprise evident on his face. Eventually, he stood up and said, "I didn't expect you here."
"Who did you expect? Her? Coming here and thanking you for your generous offer? Do you even know her? She hates teaching," Desmond answered immediately and then he discovered that his tone grew angry and hostile with every spoken word, so he did his best to calm himself down again.
"How protective of you," Roys just said, nearly in mockery. He came out of his desk and faced Desmond. "Why didn't you let her tell me that herself?"
"Let?" Desmond raised his eyebrows at that. "Oh, you still don't get it, do you? You've hurt her so much that she doesn't even want to see you."
"So she hides behind you?" Alexander kept provoking him. "You're not the right man for her and deep down, you know it."
"Oh, so you are?" Desmond answered back.
"What do you even do for a living?" Alex just asked, not affected by what Desmond told him at all. "You have no job, you live out of her money. You're no one. You're a savage who picked her up on a deserted island."
Desmond actually laughed at that, choosing this reaction over hitting the man again and it actually proved itself useful because the self-assuring smirk disappeared from the professor's face.
"You still don't know how much you hurt her," Desmond just continued. "When I met her, she was a total wreck."
"I just wanted to help her find a good job, that's all." Alex shrugged.
"Well, she doesn't need your help. She is strong and she can take care of herself," Desmond kept protecting his fiancée. "And the last thing she'll ever want to do is to see you, got that, lad?"
"Man, I just feel bad. I haven't been sleeping well ever since I heard about the plane crash and when I found out that she was actually alive…" Roys tried to explain himself.
"Then what? You ran straight to her, hoping that the moment she saw you, she would just forget what you did to her and fall straight into your arms?" Desmond mocked Roys. "And once you actually saw her there with me, you immediately called her a whore! So, yeah, excuse me if don't feel sorry for you not being able to sleep at night! You may look down on me all you want and think that I'm less of a man than you are just because I don't have a fancy job or a life already established here, but… I don't care!" Desmond raised his voice and threw his hands up into the air. "I've already spent about half of my life dealing with guys like you, men who thought me to be unworthy. I'm done with it, ok? You weren't there! You didn't see how broken she was and it was all your fault! You have no idea what you did to her! That poor girl spent over fifty days in complete isolation, not even speaking to anyone, brooding over what happened to her, being afraid that everyone else would turn out to be just like you! Then she met me and somehow, we both helped each other and everything we've been through, everything we've done for each other…" Desmond came to a stop, just shaking his head. "You will never understand that. You can't sleep at night? Well, guess what! We can't either! And you are the only one who deserves it! I won't feel sorry for you. You claim to have changed, yet you were the first one to cast stones at her when we came back. She just wants to live a life free of you, so don't you even dare try calling or talking to her ever again, got that, brotha?"
By the time Desmond finished talking, Alexander Roys was truly speechless, his mouth just hanging open.
"See you in another life, although I hope that will never happen," Desmond said his usual goodbye and then he just left.
Once he actually found himself outside the office, he bumped into Julie.
"I love you so much," she just told him when cupping his face and placing a kiss to his lips. He could just stand there, stunned that she was there. Where did she even come from?
"But you said…" he finally started when she pulled him into a hug.
"I'm sorry, I know I said I would stay home, but I was worried. I know the guy and I know that he can say some pretty nasty stuff. And I wasn't wrong, he did."
"So you were listening behind the door?" Desmond asked, not sure if he should laugh or not.
"Well, yeah," she admitted sheepishly. "I heard all of it. Got a few hostile glances from the people who passed by me when I kept my ear pressed to the door, but I heard every word. And I love you and I am so proud of you," she repeated when pulling away and looking into his eyes. "I am so proud of you standing up for us like that and for finally believing that you are a good man, Desmond; a man who deserves to be happy. Let's just go home and start our lives together, all right?"
He nodded, stunned by her words and then he let her take his hand and pull him towards the exit. He'd known hitting the professor would be a wrong move and he nearly smiled. It'd cost him a lot to actually restrain himself from physical violence and from showing off how much the guy's words had hurt him, but now he was just happy and proud of himself. He was finally learning and it was high time for that.
Neither Julie nor Desmond noticed that Alex opened his door when they'd been hugging. He wanted to tell the man something again, just to have the last word. Only then, he just peaked through a crack, watching the scene before him and listening to Julie. Once the couple disappeared, Alex closed the door, deciding it was for the best.