Chapter Twelve

"I still don't see what you need me for, Data," Geordi said though a yawn. Unlike Data, Geordi had his video feed turned on and Data could see his rumpled bedsheets in a corner of the computer screen, along with a scattered stack of work padds - an indication his friend had fallen asleep reading. Which made sense. Ship's time was five hours ahead of ground time in Nineveh IV's archaeological region, and it was not Geordi's habit to go to bed so early unless he'd intended to work late from his quarters. "You're the one with the positronic brain. If the numbers play out and the computer sim was positive, go ahead and run with it."

"I know, and I would," Data said, ignoring the blinking red prompt to activate his own video feed. "I expressed as much to Dr. Crusher. Yet, with a child's life at stake, I... I simply did not feel 'right' about implementing an original, untested design without first receiving your feedback."

"My feedback…" Geordi repeated, and pursed his lips as he again pulled up the screen with Data's schematics for his proposed medical stasis field. "Well, I do appreciate that, Data. But, you know you have a solid design here. What the hell – it's brilliant, OK? Especially the redundancies you've built into the power amplification system so if there's a power failure or fluctuation, your stasis field can automatically draw from a series of alternate sources without negatively affecting the performance of the runabout's key systems."

"That was necessary," Data said. "Conditions here are worryingly changeable. Already, we have endured multiple earthquakes and sandstorms, and the turbulent atmosphere makes network linkups spotty at best. If this field is to be effective, it must be able to hold for an extended period without threat of even the slightest falter."

Geordi nodded, his optic implants focusing in on the details of Data's blueprints.

"Well, of course, there's always a jump from theory to application. Nothing's ever truly perfect," he said. "But, in all honesty, I think you have a good idea. If it helps your confidence, you've got the green light from me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"It is…I suppose…"

Geordi sighed at the android's tone.

"Data, come on. We both know you don't need my opinion to validate your plans. What's this really about?"

He waited a long beat, but the only response he heard was the warped, windy static of atmospheric and subspace interference.

Geordi scooted his rolling chair closer to the screen.

"Look, I know you can see me," he said. "Why don't you turn on the visual from your end and we can have a real conversation, OK?"

Data lowered his eyes to the computer terminal's touchpad, but made no move to activate the image feed.

"I apologize for my insecurity, Geordi," he said quietly. "It is just…these children have come to mean a great deal to me. If I should implement this design – my design – and something should go wrong—"

"Then, at least you'll have tried," Geordi cut in. "Which is way more than anyone else seems to have done for these kids. You have no reason to feel guilty here. None, got that? No matter how things turn out."

"Perhaps not," Data allowed. "But…am I doing enough?"

Geordi wrinkled his nose.

"What does that mean?" he asked warily.

Data leaned back, one foot swiveling his chair slightly from side to side.

"Why am I here, Geordi?" he said, rather flatly. "Why did the captain, first officer, and counselor of my ship 'invite' me to spend two weeks of my leave-time in their company, in such a radically different environment?"

Geordi smoothed a hand over his short hair, already aware where this was going.

"They do trust you, Data," he said. "We all do. It's just, you've been through so much in so short a time… It's only right that they should worry a little."

"Worry, yes…" Data said, and frowned. "As a parent might worry over a child."

"Data…" Geordi sighed. "You know that's not—"

"I have post-traumatic stress, Geordi," Data stated, rather bitterly. "My nightmares and flashbacks are vivid and terrible, and I cannot seem to stop this cycling anxiety…these awful doubts I feel about myself, my competence as an officer, and as a person… Seeing the concern in the captain's eyes…in Riker's and Troi's… Their worry only makes my doubts grow, until I feel I must escape or explode – either of which would only make me appear more 'unstable' to Starfleet Command."

"What the Borg did to you was terrible," Geordi said. "No one expects you to recover overnight. God, Data, it took the captain years to come to grips with what the Borg did to him, and Starfleet is still wary of—"

"Captain Picard is human, Geordi. I am a machine. The way Starfleet defines 'damage' and 'recovery' is quite different when your brain is not an organ but, rather, a manmade computer. But, that is not the point I wish to make."

"OK," Geordi said. "What is the point?"

Data paused for a long time, long enough for Geordi to wonder if the android had left. Then, quietly, the android began to speak.

"I am not who I was," he said. "I will never again feel or act the way I did before the chip. I will not adapt to my emotions the way I might have had we not lost the D…had I not been held captive by the Borg...

"Serving aboard the Enterprise-E, I have felt that my inability to conform to previous expectations others held for me, for my behavior, has been a terrible shortcoming. The fact that I could not manage to resume my former calm, rational persona, both on duty and in private, without swallowing back a large part of myself…it felt like a personal failure on my part. Each time I felt myself growing upset or frustrated, any time I felt like crying…I experienced this stab of…of guilt…of self-blame, as though I had let someone down. The captain, my friends, myself… And that article…that damn hatchet job… It just…it seemed to confirm all the terrible things I had already piled upon my conscience…everything I hated myself for doing, or failing to do…

"But here, with these children…none of that... It hasn't..." Data swallowed hard, his eyes begining to sting. "With them, I have shown myself to be vulnerable, angry, frightened…imperfect… Yet, when they look at me, I feel…I see…"

He sniffed sharply, his voice growing noticeably rougher.

"I see myself as they see me and, Geordi… For the first time since this emotional shitstorm knocked my life off course, I feel like…like the man they see is someone worthwhile. This man is strong, confident and caring. He…he actually stands for something. I don't want to mess that up, Geordi," he said and choked, hot tears streaming down his cheeks despite his best attempts to stop them. "Oh…oh, God, I'm sorry…"

"Data?" Geordi leaned forward, frustrated that he couldn't see his friend on the screen. "Hey, come on. Come on, pal, it's OK. Really."

"I don't want to cry," the android sniffled. "I want this to stop."

"Hey, sometimes it's not about what we want. It's about what our body needs," Geordi said. "If your brain needs to cry for a while, then go ahead and let it cry. Better to let the pressure out then hold it in and wait for the explosion, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes…" Data said, and sniffled a few more times. "That image is helpful. I will remember that."

"Don't sweat it, Data," Geordi said, and Data snorted a slight laugh, realizing his friend didn't yet know the android could sweat. "There, you see? You're already feeling better."

"I am," Data admitted, still chuckling softly. "Thank you, Geordi."

"Yeah," the engineer said. "I think I know where you're coming from, Data. That damn Borg Queen hit you right in the self-image, didn't she."

"Knocked it all to tiny splinters…" Data muttered, another quiet giggle escaping despite his anger.

Geordi nodded.

"That's a pretty tough blow to recover from."

"There may not be enough adhesive in the galaxy…"

"Yet, here you are, cracking jokes," Geordi pointed out.

"Yes, here I am," the android said, and sighed deeply. "Geordi?"

"Yeah, Data?"

"I miss my daughter, Geordi," he said. "I miss the children aboard the Enterprise-D. This new ship of ours seems so dark and bleak without them."

"It's a battleship, Data," Geordi said grimly. "Maybe next time, once things have settled down and people aren't so afraid, they'll make the Enterprise a family ship again."

"That may be a long time, Geordi," Data pointed out. "And…I am not certain that I want to wait."

Geordi frowned.

"Now, what are you saying?"

"I know that the captain, Riker and Troi are evaluating my performance here," Data said. "I know the counselor is considering whether to recommend I take an extended leave from my duties. While such a recommendation would not necessarily sully the reputation of a human officer, I have no doubt it would be a death-knell for my career. Any aspirations I may hold for promotion – for command – would be snuffed out. So, why should I wait for the ax to fall, as it were, when I could request a transfer now? Perhaps, to a deep space research vessel that allows children and families as well as pets."

"You'd really do that?" Geordi asked. "You'd really want to leave the Enterprise? Your friends?"

Data went silent again, and Geordi shook his head.

"You've only been away from the ship four days, Data," he said. "I've heard it's been something of a roller coaster down there so far, but if you want my advice, I say keep this thought of yours quiet for now. Let the rest of the trip play out. If, after the full two weeks leave are up, you're still considering a transfer, let's talk it over then. You and me – before you talk to the others. OK?"

"OK," Data echoed.

Geordi pursed his lips, still wishing he could see his friend's face.

"You know what I think?" he said after a thoughtful moment.

"What do you think, Geordi?" Data asked.

"I think this impulse to leave us is a sign you're getting better."

"Better?"

"Yeah," Geordi said. "Let me put it like this… It's like, you have this sailboat, right? And it used to be you always kept your sailboat docked at this little harbor marina. Even during a storm, when the other boats were out tossing and swaying on the swells, yours was always in the calm, balanced and stable."

"Geordi, I—"

"Then suddenly," Geordi said, "after this one weirdly awkward day, a realization struck. The marina just wasn't cutting it for you anymore. You decided you were past due for a change of scene."

"I believe I can see where this is going, Geordi," Data started, but his friend didn't pause.

"You convinced your best friend to help you raise anchor and pull away from the dock," he said. "And now that you're finally out on the ocean, learning to navigate the wind and the waves with all the other sailboats, you pace around the swaying deck and fret. 'My boat never used to rock this much,' you say. 'I must be doing something wrong.'"

"I do not—"

"Now, let's bring these kids into the story," Geordi said. "When you first met them, your boat was already tossing around on the sea. But, to a frightened castaway, getting pulled up onto a rocking boat is as good as finding dry land. Add to that, these kids never saw your boat tied up to that marina dock. As far as they know, you've always been riding these waves, keeping your head, and theirs, above water. Is it any wonder they've come to see you as a bit of a hero? Is it any wonder you want to be that hero for them…now that you've found your sea legs?"

"An intriguing, and imaginative, metaphor, my friend," Data said, a trace of amusement in his voice. "But, you cannot really believe that I have found my 'sea legs,' as you put it."

"Sure I do," Geordi said. "I know it, because I know you've already been trying them out down there and, talking to you now, I can hear the difference in your voice. Helping those kids has brought some of your confidence back – enough to suggest the outline of a new self-image to step into. Who knows." Geordi smirked. "You might find you've already grown a new skin… A self-induced upgrade, if you will, to cover over the scars those Borg left on your 'inner being'."

Data blinked and straightened in his chair.

"You know!"

Geordi laughed and nodded.

"Dr. Crusher filled me in," he said. "We had a chat while she was waiting for permission to land. I think it was Riker who told her about the upgrade, and the informal speech you've started using down there. But, I'm sure he didn't mean to betray any confidence. The way Dr. Crusher tells it, he's really proud of you, Data. Really proud."

"That's good to know," Data said quietly. "Although, I must admit, I would have preferred to have revealed the news to you myself. In my own time…"

"You mean stress and angst about my imagined reaction until you got back to the ship and I saw the 'new you' for myself?"

Data felt his face grow warm, but he chuckled just the same.

"Perhaps…" he allowed.

"Hey, pal," Geordi said. "You have to know we're all rooting for you. And, if this new skin will help you feel more secure with your self – with who you are now – then, I'm all for it. Don't forget that I'm your friend, Data. No matter how alone you might feel at times, you've gotta know you can always count on me to have your back. No matter what."

"I do know, and I appreciate that, Geordi," Data said, swallowing hard as his eyes teared up again. "More than I can adequately express. Oh…" He sniffled, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "Now, I feel terrible about contemplating a transfer. I should never have doubted any of you."

"Just stop doubting yourself, Data," Geordi said. "That'll be enough for me. And, I'm sure, for Troi and the captain."

"You're right," Data said, and a slight, self-depreciating smile stretched his lips. "You are absolutely right, and I will try. Geordi, I want to thank you for—"

The door to the main building slid open, and Data turned just in time to catch Kahlestra as she threw herself into his arms for a hug.

"Data! So, this is where you've been hiding!" Kahlestra exclaimed, and glanced at the screen. "Who's that you're talking to?"

"Greetings, Kay. This is my friend Geordi La Forge, from the Enterprise," Data told her, returning the hug, then gently pushing the young Klingon back to her feet. "He serves as chief engineer."

"Who's there, Data?" Geordi asked.

"This is one of the three children I—"

"Hey, your vid-feed is off," Kahlestra observed, and pressed the blinking icon.

"Kay, wait—" Data started, then flushed violently as he realized it was already too late. Geordi could see them both.

The android winced.

"Well?" he asked.

"Well what?" Geordi teased, and tapped a finger to his temple. "You look just like an android to me. Electromagnetic halo and all."

"And, if you access only the visual spectrum?" Data prompted.

Geordi blinked, and the blue-tinted mechanisms in his optic implants whirled as he made the adjustment.

"You changed the shape of your eyes, and your hairline, just there…" he said. "And your ears are a little different too. A composite? Soong and Juliana?"

"Precisely," Data said happily. "I believe you are the first to notice, unprompted, that I decided to include aspects of both my mother and my father in my new appearance."

"Well, it works, Data," Geordi said honestly, and quickly readjusted his implants to process the full electromagnetic spectrum, as his VISOR had done. "You've finally got a face that's truly, uniquely yours. How do you feel?"

"It was strange at first," Data admitted. "I think I was a little worried that, by altering my appearance in this way, I was somehow…disappointing my father… Tampering with his legacy, if that makes sense…? But it has been nearly a full day now and, I have to admit, I… I'm starting to like the way I feel when I see this face in the mirror. It is as if – as if my brother's shadow has finally faded from my reflection, leaving only my face. My eyes. My smile."

He grinned broadly in demonstration.

"See?" he said. "And, the compliments I have so far received from Deanna and Beverly don't hurt either," he added, attempting a wink.

Geordi laughed.

"Well, that's great, Data," he said. "I'm glad to know you've been taking advantage of this trip to explore who you are on your own terms. Not Starfleet's – and certainly not ours. Promise me you'll keep it up."

"I will try, Geordi," Data said.

"That's a good start," Geordi said, and turned his eyes to the young Klingon standing by Data's side. "Hello there," he said, his smile broadening. "You must be Kurak's daughter. Kahlestra, am I right?"

"Yeah," Kahlestra said, "but my Federation friends call me Kay."

"All right, Kay," Geordi said. "You know, I remember your mother from her visit to the Enterprise."

"What's to remember?" Kahlestra grunted. "She got to go to the Federation's flagship, got all mad and grumpy, and didn't even bring me back a souvenir."

"What would you have wanted?" Data asked curiously.

"I don't know," she said. "Just something, you know? I mean, she knew I wanted to come. Would it have been so hard to bring back some, like, special Federation candy or something?"

Geordi chuckled.

"She's cute," he said. "Kind of reminds me of Alexander."

"That's Commander Worf's son, right?" Kahlestra said. "I've heard of him. Commander Worf is pretty famous in the Klingon Empire for how he's aided Chancellor Gowron, and how he helped seat the Clone of Kahless as Emperor, and stuff like that."

"Yeah," Geordi snorted. "Not like the rest of us helped at all."

"Hey, yeah – of course you would have been there!" Kahlestra said, turning her bright eyes from Geordi to Data. "Then…no way. No way – Data! Data, don't tell me you actually met the Clone of Kahless!"

Geordi's grin nearly split the screen.

"Data, I've got to go," he said. "Unlike some people, I'm on duty in the morning. Dilithium chambers don't upgrade themselves, you know."

"OK, you can go," Kahlestra said, hugging Data's arm. "But, you better remember what your friend looks like because I plan to keep him."

Data looked troubled, but Geordi laughed and slapped the table.

"Get this," he chuckled. "One day in that new skin, and already a girl magnet!"

"Hardly," Data said rather primly, and Geordi laughed harder.

"Hey, thanks for calling, Data. Let me know how things go with that stasis field, OK?"

"OK, Geordi," Data said. "And, thank you."

His friend nodded, and cut the transmission. Once the screen had cleared to black, Data turned to Kahlestra.

"Kay," he said gently. "You must be aware that I cannot stay here. My leave is only temporary."

"Yeah, I know," Kahlestra said dismissively, and smiled up at him. "So, what were you two talking about before I came in?"

"We were discussing me, if you must know," Data said. "As well as my plans to construct a stasis field to help mitigate the physical stresses of Mikey's surgery and subsequent recovery."

Kahlestra's eyes widened.

"Whoa… Then, you really do think you can cure him?" she asked.

"If my stasis field operates successfully, the odds of a full recovery would rise significantly," Data told her, and the young Klingon beamed with pride.

"Buy' ngop!" she praised happily. "But, you know, Ishta still doesn't believe you can help him," she said. "She's convinced Mikey's going to die even with the doctor's help."

"She may yet be right," Data admitted. "There are no guarantees with an operation like this, Kay. But, Dr. Crusher and Lt. Ogawa have already begun growing the materials for transplant. And, once we have finished our conversation here, I intend to spend the remaining hour and a half before supper in sickbay, beginning to implement my designs."

"Can I watch?" Kahlestra asked. "Mother's been after me about my stupid summer homework, but I'm sure I'd learn much more from watching you and Dr. Crusher!"

"That must be up to your mother," Data said. "If she agrees, I would be happy to have you as my assistant. Ishta as well, if she is willing."

"Ishta's too busy playing mind games with Counselor Troi," Kahlestra said. "She says the grown-ups are all conspiring to keep us away from you because they think we're too close, and that's why we've barely seen you all day."

Data wrinkled his forehead.

"I do not believe that to be the case," he said. "But, I assure you, I would much rather have spent the day here with you children than down in those awful tunnels. The energy field in operation down there does not agree with my systems."

He shivered a little at the memory of his sweaty, headachy discomfort, and Kahlestra laughed.

"Still, there was a positive outcome," he said. "Had I not been present, the doors may not have opened, and we would not have glimpsed the energy source beneath the Stairway."

"Wait," Kahlestra said. "You saw the energy source?"

"Quite possibly," Data said. "Though it will require a great deal more research before we can be certain. On this world, that is not my responsibility, but that of your mother, Dr. Kapoor, Dr. Anders, and Dr. Tu'Pari. Which leaves me free to lend my assistance to our dear friend Mikey in any way I can. At least, for now."

He stood, and held out his hand.

"Shall we go?"

"Let's," Kahlestra said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze as they walked out the door—

—and straight into a very irate-looking Kurak.

"What is this," the Klingon hissed, her burning glare shifting from Data to her daughter. "Another lie, Kahlestra?"

"I do not lie!" Kahlestra screeched, and Data flinched in surprise.

"You told me you would stay in our dome," her mother snapped. "Does this look like our dome?"

Kahlestra bared her teeth.

"I said I'd stay until I finished my stupid worksheet. I finished it. You can check if you want!"

"And you, android," Kurak snarled, ignoring her daughter's protest to glare up at Data. "What is your excuse for luring my daughter away from her studies?"

"I did no such thing," Data retorted, his startled expression growing angrily defensive. "Your daughter came to me, to ask if she could assist—"

"She has no business asking favors of you, or anyone else here," Kurak snapped, and grabbed her daughter's hand. "Come, Kahlestra," she growled. "Do not shame yourself further by making a scene."

"I didn't shame anyone," Kahlestra howled, her voice rising to a piercing shriek. "I want to help Data!"

"Perhaps, after supper?" Data suggested to Kurak, wincing slightly as he rubbed his sensitive ears. "If you are amenable, of course. I assure you, a child as bright as your daughter could only be of help to both myself and Dr. Crusher, and you are certainly welcome to accompany—"

"My daughter knows better than to draw outsiders into what is a private, family matter," Kurak growled dangerously, and viciously yanked Kahlestra after her down the narrow corridor. Kahlestra dug her heels into the floor, but Kurak only pulled harder.

"Pick up your feet and follow," she commanded. "I swear by Kahless, you will learn your place, daughter – or, would you rather your father taught it to you?"

"...and Starfleet had the gall to question my competence as a parent..." Data muttered angrily, watching through eyes like yellow diamonds as the pair disappeared around a curve.

Walking away was one of the hardest things he'd ever done.

To Be Continued…

References Include - TNG: The Offspring; Peak Performance; Best of Both Worlds I/II; I, Borg; Datalore; Brothers; Inheritance; New Ground; Heart of Glory; Cost of Living; Firstborn; Rightful Heir; Redemption I/II; Hero Worship; Suspicions; and the movies Generations and First Contact.

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