Hi Everyone! Thanks so much for being so supportive after I lost my chapter! You really helped me kick away the frustration and try, not just to rewrite what I'd written, but to make the new version better than it used to be. Thing is, all those days in the middle of the week when I couldn't write left me imagining a couple of new scenes while pondering how to rewrite the old ones, so this chapter has now been extended into three. Data and Kurak stuff will be covered here in Chapter Nineteen and Chapter Twenty, and Chapter Twenty-One will be more about Data and Mikey and the kids and stuff. So, sorry for pushing Mikey's part back again, but I hope you enjoy this 'new' new chapter. Thanks again! :D :D :D
Chapter Nineteen
Before the emotion chip, Data's positronic brain had functioned like a smoothly running station with many multiple trains of thought moving along both parallel and interweaving tracks. It was still like that.
Only now, the maps of routes and stops had become so much more complicated. And they kept expanding.
Gut feelings, intuition, physical sensation - all conspired to carve out raw, sometimes unpleasantly rugged landscapes for the android's thoughts to navigate, adding new links to the tracks, new crossings and bridges, strong physical responses to what had once been primarily intellectual stimuli. Emotions had forced Data to look beyond the basics of his ethical programming, to know the abrasive conflict between feelings and facts - to choose subjectively, even selfishly, and defend those choices without the certainty of a cool, unbiased position…
To learn he was vulnerable. Susceptible to mistakes, emotional injury and emotional pain…
Just like any conscious, sentient, organic mind.
By the time Data had placed his replicated materials on an anti-grav sled and sat down at the table with his omelette, the joyous wonder he had felt outside had cooled and congealed into doubts. Instead of feeling pleased, even proud, to discover a strong, talented woman like Kurak found him...desirable...his analytical mind kept asking why? Why had she kissed him like that? What had she meant when she told him...
Klingons do not court favor. They conquer that which they desire.
Could he have misread her before? Had he attuned his perceptions so firmly to human norms that he had mistaken her Klingon signals of attraction for hostility? Had her advance - her challenge - been serious, or was she toying with him? Testing how far she could push the machine, how far he might be willing to go before…
No.
Data refused to be that gullible. He refused to be a novelty, to fall victim to manipulation, intentional or otherwise. As he'd told Deanna that first night by the cave, the night he'd deliberately shed his old skin: he'd come too far to be used like that again. To allow his curiosity - his most private desires - to be exploited. As they'd been exploited by Ishara, by the Borg… Even Tasha…
Data, I'm only going to tell you this just once. It never happened.
He felt a strong mental flinch at the memory; the sharp, lingering pang of her rejection. The awkward sting recalled other, similar feelings…memories of failed or misleading interactions overlapping, interweaving like conversations in a crowded room…
I barely even know you, Data, but already I completely trust you. I even consider you a friend…
You were so kind and attentive…I thought that would be enough…
…as close as we are, I don't really matter to you…not really…
I feel pity for you. Your existence must be a kind of walking purgatory. Neither dead nor alive. Never really feeling anything. Just existing. Just existing…
Are you familiar with physical forms of pleasure…?
Stop it, Data's mind shouted over the rising din. Stop it! Stop, stop…!
"Data?" Riker's voice broke into Data's thoughts, snapping the android back to the present, and the people gathered around the cafeteria table. He blinked rapidly and sat straight up.
"Sir!"
Riker regarded him with narrowed his eyes; Troi and Picard mirroring his concern.
"You seemed to kind of zone out there for a moment," he said. "Are you all right?"
Data looked down at the breakfast he'd barely touched, unable to help the warm flush he felt rising up his neck, his face…
"Apologies if I appear distracted," he said. "I have…a great deal on my mind…"
Picard's expression seemed to soften.
"Quite understandable," he said. "Your little friend's surgery is today and, according to Dr. Crusher, it's your modified stasis field that may just make the difference. It's only natural you'll be feeling a little nervous about the outcome."
Data felt a stab of guilt at the way the captain had misinterpreted his demeanor...made worse by his own strong reluctance to reveal the truth. But, how could he tell his captain what had transpired between Kurak and himself? How could he admit that he had allowed his preoccupation with the Klingon scientist to divert his concern for Mikey to a far less prominent track?
"I'm sorry if I seemed a little brusque at the meeting last night, Data," Picard said, his kind tone making the android's fingers fidget. "If you wish to stay with young Mikey during the procedure, you should do so."
Data blushed again and glanced down at his plate, feeling as though Troi's eyes were boring straight through his skull, laying bare the innermost workings of his positronic brain…
"Yes, sir. I appreciate that," he managed to say, rising to his feet and backing toward the replicator to dispose of his breakfast tray. "And thank you, Will, for a most interesting omelette. I...I am sorry I cannot stay, but I must take these materials to Kurak's lab."
He gestured awkwardly to his loaded anti-gravity sled.
Picard nodded approvingly, getting up to dispose of his own breakfast dishes.
"Of course," he said. "And we have our work to do as well. If I don't see you at lunch, Mr. Data, good luck. That goes for Mikey's surgery, and to the success of your invention."
"Thank you, sir."
Data smiled, genuinely gratified by the captain's words, and pushed the narrow sled through the cafeteria dome's sliding doors.
Once the doors had closed behind him, Troi approached Picard by the replicator.
"Counselor?" the captain questioned, frowning slightly at her troubled expression. "Is everything all right?"
"I'm not sure," she said. "Data's emotions were all over the place just then. I feel almost certain he is hiding something."
"Are you sure it's not just worry?" Riker asked as he joined them. "Data has gotten pretty attached to those kids he rescued. The thought of losing one of them...especially after he put so much time and work into that new stasis field of his..."
"I thought of that, Will, and it's certainly a factor," Troi said. "But, I can't help feeling there's more going on."
"Can you be more specific?" Picard asked.
"No...not exactly," Troi said. "But he does seem extremely anxious, Captain. I can't be certain, but I suspect it may have something to do with Kurak."
"Kurak?" Riker chortled. "Well, there's your answer. I know I'd be pretty jumpy if I had to work in close quarters with an angry Klingon."
"Will, this isn't funny," Troi started to protest. "Data's inexperience—"
But, the captain was shaking his head.
"I understand your feelings, Deanna," he said to her. "And, you were right to come to me with your concerns. But, we are not Mr. Data's babysitters. Emotionally inexperienced though he may be, Data is a mature individual and, if we are to evaluate his performance objectively, we must allow him space to feel his own feelings and make his own decisions accordingly. Therefore, Counselor, if you do not sense anything imminently dangerous or concerning, I believe the best course of action is to leave him alone."
"I agree," Riker said. "From what I've seen so far on this trip, I think he's doing just fine."
Troi sighed and nodded her acknowledgement.
"You're right," she said. "I suppose I'm still getting used to sensing so much...well, anything really, from our friend."
She smiled bracingly and straightened her posture.
"Well," she said, moving toward the inner exit. "Back to the bureaucrats. My contacts have promised I should have a more definitive response regarding Ishta's status by the end of the day."
"That should help ease some of Data's anxiety," Riker said.
"Indeed," Picard agreed, his serious demeanor beginning to brighten as he and Riker followed her into the round, tube-like corridor. "Now, Will, how about we go see what Drs. Tu'Pari, Anders and Kapoor have been cooking up in the control room?"
"Yes, sir," Riker said, though behind his back Riker and Troi shared an amused, long-suffering look. As they parted down separate branches, Troi offered Riker a warm, Betazoid gesture of support.
After all, with stakes so potentially high, both officers felt it their duty to support the captain's enthusiasm for the archaeologists' mystery - at least until they could all feel certain they could keep the Stairway's strange energy source from falling into enemy hands...
Data had barely made it ten meters when he heard someone hurrying after him through the sand. He stopped the anti-grav sled and looked over his shoulder, his dark eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
"Deanna!" he exclaimed, trying hard to clamp down on a spike of anxiety. "Was there something else you wished to discuss with me?"
"Don't play innocent, Data," Troi teased. "It doesn't suit you."
"Sorry?" He blinked, bewildered. "I'm afraid I do not understand."
Troi's lips twitched, the corners pulling up into a tiny smirk, and Data felt his face grow warm again.
"You've been hiding something from me," she said, giving his arm a light, playful nudge.
Data flinched away, surprised by the informal contact.
"No!" he exclaimed. "No, I… It's nothing, Counselor."
"Now, Data," she admonished. "We both know that's not true."
Data grimaced, his amber eyes turning helplessly from the sand to the washed out desert sky.
"I…I don't…"
"Discussing your feelings can help put them in perspective," she coaxed. "You know you can talk to me."
Data seemed to freeze for a moment, his eyes very wide. Then he sighed, seeming to deflate under her dark, Betazoid stare.
"Kurak and I shared some rather…passionate…kisses this morning," he admitted quietly. "She…um…approached me…as I was leaving her lab."
"And…?" Troi prompted. "How did that make you feel?"
Data fidgeted in the sand, wondering if it was actually possible to 'die' of embarrassment…or, perhaps, suffer some debilitating electrical short…
"I was…confused. Until that moment, I had believed Kurak saw me as a threat to her authority over Kay. Her demeanor toward me had been consistently hostile and dismissive. I did not expect…"
"What, Data?" Troi prodded. "What happened?"
Data shook his head, his expression pinched with uncertainty as Kurak's words replayed in his mind.
…Klingons do not court favor…They conquer that which they desire…
"I believe…she issued me a challenge," he said. "But, I am not sure I wish to accept. I'm not even sure I like Kurak. I was quite…unsettled…by the way I've seen her treat Kay, and her previous conduct toward me leaves me in doubt as to whether her…romantic advances…are serious. I would never wish to…to move forward…only to hear her say…it never happened…"
He trailed off with an awkward wince, fearing he'd revealed far too much…
Troi nodded thoughtfully, her dark eyes seeming to glint in the sun.
"Would you like to know what I think, Data?" she asked.
"Indubitably, Counselor," he said earnestly, and her small smirk bloomed into a full-on smile.
"I think you've already made up your mind, and all this stress and worry is an attempt to justify the decision to yourself."
"Justify...to myself?" Data frowned. "But, Counselor, why would I—"
"Klingons aren't exactly subtle when it comes to expressing their feelings, Data," she said. "If Kurak approached you that directly, I'd say it's a pretty strong sign she finds you attractive. And, I don't think you'd be vacillating like this if you weren't already inclined to accept her 'challenge,' as you put it. Do you disagree?"
Data blinked, looking uncomfortably overwhelmed as his amber eyes shot from side to side.
"But," he said, "what would be the point of initiating a...romantic...relationship when we have less than a week and a half of leave time left to spend together?"
Troi gave him a fond look.
"Data," she said, "not all close relationships have to be long-term. The question is, do you really want to waste what little time you have to get to know each other?"
Data shook his head, then buried his face in his palms.
"I don't know!" he muffled through his fingers, dragging his hands down his tortured face before looking back up at her. "I don't know what I want! The kisses we shared were so…unexpected…"
"But not unwanted?" Troi pressed, her question triggering another unsummoned memory, another unwelcome voice from his past…
...You enjoyed it…that surge of emotion inside you… It was unlike anything you've ever felt before…
Data swallowed.
"...no..." he confessed, his voice barely a whisper.
"Then, you do know."
Data sighed deeply and lowered his gaze to the hot, coarse sand swirling over his shoes.
"I admit, I found her performance last night to be...exceptional," he said. "I…I feel there must be so much more to her than she has, so far, allowed me to see, and the notion that I…that she may be willing to…"
He sighed again, and offered Troi a slight, bashful smile.
"You are correct, Counselor," he said. "I find Kurak immensely intriguing, which is itself…quite attractive… And yet…"
Data tensed his jaw, uncertain how to phrase what he was feeling. He had told the counselor of his moment of temptation. His dream to be part of a family unit; his longing to know what it was to love, to be loved and truly feel it...
"Perhaps…" he said. "Perhaps I will accept her challenge. Once I am confident that Mikey's surgery has been successful."
Troi's eyes seemed to dim.
"Well, it is up to you," she said. "But, don't leave it too long, Data. You wouldn't want Kurak to feel rejected."
...it never happened...
Data swallowed again.
"No," he said. "No, I would not."
Troi's broad smile returned, and Data sighed, gesturing awkwardly to the anti-grav sled.
"I must… Kurak really is expecting these supplies…"
"Yes, of course," Troi said. "I've held you up long enough. Good luck, Data."
"Thank you, Deanna. As always, your advice is valued, and much appreciated," he said, returning her smile before reactivating the sled and hurrying off across the sand.
Troi watched until Data and his loaded sled had vanished into the dome. Then, she moved her eyes - a brief, deliberate flutter - and both 'Troi' and her smile vanished in a golden swirl of energy…
References Include: TNG: The Schizoid Man, The Naked Now, Legacy, In Theory, Descent, Disaster, Redemption II; the movie First Contact.
Stay Tuned for Chapter 20, coming right up! :)