Chapter Three

"…just tell her…"

"…no point keeping it secret anymore…"

"…stupid idea to begin with…"

"…have to think… making rash decisions. I didn't… what else to do…"

My head hurt something fierce, but I managed to sit up anyway, and the voices I thought I heard suddenly went silent. I looked around my room and jumped when everyone was there—Shuu, Reiji, Ayato, Laito, Kanato and Subaru.

"W… What's going on?" I suddenly recalled the events before I passed out. My eyes turned to Ayato in as much of a rage as I could make in my drowsiness. "What did you do to him? What did you do to Haru?"

"Biiiiiitch-chan," Laito sung, "You can't be involving yourself with humans now. It's very disrespectful, especially towards us."

I couldn't even acknowledge what Laito was saying. I glared at Ayato, awaiting an answer.

"He's right," he said, shrugging.

"Yui," Reiji said, and I turned to him. "I told him he needed to stay away from you or he was going to have us to deal with. In other words of course, but I was polite about it."

"Teddy says, "I doubt that". He wanted Yui to know." Kanato gave me a creepy grin and I shivered. My reaction made him frown.

"Yui, we need to talk. You want answers. We'll give them to you. Is that acceptable?"

I wanted to yell at them. I wanted to yell at them more than anything in the world for scaring off what could have been a good friend… or maybe even something more than that. How was I supposed to go on with my life with these crazy vampires breathing down my neck and expecting blood in return for something I didn't even want from them? But the temptation of answers kept my mouth shut and I nodded at Reiji.

"How do put this…?" he began.

"Just say it," I replied. "If it's important then just say whatever it is."

"Very well, then. You're a vampire."

My stomach dropped and I accidentally let out a coughing laugh. No one else thought it was funny besides me. I glanced at all their faces.

"You're not kidding…"

"As you're aware, Cordelia was able to be revived through you because her heart was saved and it manifested itself inside your body. This was the process we called the Awakening. Your body got used to many of the differences between humans and vampires so that Cordelia could come back with your body. As I'm sure you remember, this was a very painful process for you, wasn't it?" I didn't respond. His question was rhetorical. "Anyway, once you stabbed yourself, you killed Cordelia. This was only possible because you used Subaru's knife and you stabbed yourself in the heart—Cordelia's heart. As long as her heart and that dress were still bound to one another, Cordelia would remain alive, and most likely be reborn inside of you eventually anyway. Laito burned the dress at almost the same time that you stabbed the heart with that very special knife. Cordelia is gone. We know that for a fact. She was gone the moment you died. And yet I prepared a potion for you. It was Kanato's idea. I used Cordelia's essence to bring you back. It was brought to my attention that the Awakening and Cordelia's revival was only relevant to one another because our uncle planned it that way, but originally, thousands of year ago, the Awakening was simply a process used to turn a human female into a vampire. It was never actually done, though. All of the humans died during the process. But because you once had Cordelia's heart inside of you, and your body had accepted the transformations, which was a miracle by itself, Kanato asked if it was possible to use another part of Cordelia to bring you back. I made an elixir out of her essence and a few other ingredients to both keep you from feeling any attachment to Cordelia and suppressing those physical ties altogether. She is dead, after all. And after Ayato gave you the elixir, because it had to be given by mouth from another vampire, you opened your eyes. And from that moment…"

I didn't know what to say. It made sense, and I believed him, but there were still so many questions that didn't answer themselves.

"So why not just tell me? Why keep it a secret and avoid me like you did?"

Reiji looked away and I turned when Ayato walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Do you know how you're a vampire? You have no fangs. You have no strength, no speed. You don't thirst for blood. Everything about you screams "human" to us… besides the smell of course. And even that's getting confusing."

"I don't understand what you're saying."

Reiji looked up. "Children, Yui."

"What?" I asked, confused, but then it hit me—the meaning of his words. "So… you're saying…"

"You can now become impregnated by a male vampire and give birth to full-blooded, noble children. That was the point of the Awakening when the ritual was created thousands of years ago. There are no records that it was ever successful… until now."

"How is that possible?"

"Cordelia. Her heart kept you alive as if you were an immortal throughout the process. Any human without that kind of aid would have died within the first week from the pain alone. The reason it's never been completed before is because what Cordelia and Heinz did is illegal in our world. You cannot bring back an immortal. It can be done, but the ways that you must go about it are cruel, even for us. Recently I learned that for Cordelia to be fully reincarnated, all of her children must have been murdered after the vessel was fully taken over. She would have made you or our uncle kill Laito, Kanato and Ayato. Exchanging the life of one of us for three is… improper."

"So the Awakening… Vampires wanted to turn humans into vampires so that they could have children?"

"I'm not sure if you noticed because you've seen all of our mothers through visions because of your connection to Cordelia, but female vampires… it's very rare to see them. Most vampire children are male. This is also why you were referred to as the Prospective Bride. All humans that have undergone the Awakening were female. The process was created when the last of our kind was on the brink of extinction. They used terrible means to have children, and yet they managed it. None of the Brides survived, though. In a sense, and at this point, you could say that we're all descendants from cruel means of reproduction. I don't doubt a few of the methods that were used involved cutting children out of half-Awakened humans, or simply rape just to have them. Humans would never agree to undergo these processes, so it was always forced on them."

"Yui…" Ayato said, leaning forward. I found myself holding my breath as he got closer, and I slowly exhaled.

"Another thing about female vampires," Reiji said, and Ayato and I looked back at him. "Since they are so few and far between, many covens are actually run by them. Unfortunately, you were not born a vampire, and without having such… physical enhancements, so to say, you could never properly run a coven."

"I don't understand. Why would I want to run a coven?"

"Yui…" Ayato said again, and I looked at him.

"I don't understand." I narrowed my eyes in thought, but I still couldn't see what Reiji was saying. And Ayato kept getting closer to me and it was making my head a little fuzzy.

"There are very few females. We still desire to keep our people alive. Females run covens full of males. In a sense, they are all her mates. She will often have children with the majority of them, and she will continue to reproduce until she has had enough to satisfy their bloodlines."

Aside from how this was relevant to my current situation, I still had another question.

"But you're immortal, right? Why do you need to have children if vampires live forever? You'll never go extinct if you never die."

"Our people are constantly fighting. And there are quite a few weapons like Subaru's knife. There are many ways to kill an immortal, despite how humans tend to define the word."

"Am I immortal?"

"That's doubtful. Your roots are still human, only your blood is vampire. It may prolong your life for a while, but if you do not die of ailments or murder, you will eventually die of old age."

I didn't want to bring this up, but I felt like I had to.

"So… are you all… a coven, then?"

"Yui…"

I jumped when Ayato said my name for the third time. It was looking straight at me, but I tried to keep my eyes on Reiji, awaiting an answer. He knew what my real question was. What did they expect of me now that I could…

"I understand your thoughts on this will always be very human, because that's how you were taught and raised by human parents. But another thing… you can no longer have children with human males."

I blinked a few times. I'd never really thought about having children before, but suddenly the fact that I couldn't have them made me sad. Well… I could have them, but…

"And vampires do find it important to have children…"

I paused. Reiji spoke about rape before like it was taboo for even vampires, which was a good thing. I didn't believe any of them would actually do something like that anyway.

"We've all… grown attached to you," Reiji said, pushing his glasses up his nose with two fingers. "There are things I would like to talk to you about in private, if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind," I replied. Before the last word was out of my mouth, the rest of them disappeared. Reiji inhaled slowly and then exhaled quietly. It was only the two of us in my room now.

"None of them will mind me saying any of this, because you are one of our kind now, even though you don't seem like it. I would like to warn you that you do give off a scent now…" He paused for a moment. "Do you understand?"

I shook my head. "What kind of a scent?"

"A mating scent, Yui. It's the only way for one of us to be able to tell that you're a vampire. Unfortunately, this will make you a target for other vampires—strays may approach you with the intent to have children. Do you understand?"

I gulped. Oh… "Yes."

"This may sound… strange to you, but we are yours." He gave a slight bow and my lips parted slightly in shock. "We will protect you from other males because this is our duty. This does not require you to have relations with any of us."

I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter. I was just a teenage girl, still in high school, and already I was being thrown into some kind of weird arrangement with six brothers. But the thought of it was making my blood get hotter as well, and I doubted Reiji couldn't feel it. Same with the others.

"So… what did you want to tell me… in private?"

"Before, when you were still human, undergoing the transitions, I had a talk with Ayato and a talk with Subaru. As I'm sure you're aware, they are both very attached to you. So is Shuu. The others care for you as well."

I just nodded when he paused. Yes, I knew that.

"Because of my blood," I said, but Reiji shook his head and I watched him, confused.

"Your blood during the Awakening became more and more appealing because of the scent you gave off. The process makes it so that it's difficult for vampires not to kill you. This is another reason why no other Awakenings have been successful. If a Bride managed to survive through the pain, the vampires conducting the process would become so intoxicated by the sweet scent of blood that they would just wake up one morning after sucking her blood to her death. This didn't happen, as I'm sure you're aware, because of Ayato. Although I don't believe you're aware of what he went through to keep you safe. He fought each and every one of us."

"A… Ayato-kun did that?"

"This is what I want you to understand. For Subaru and for Ayato especially, your blood is not what attracts them to you. I spoke with Subaru when he mentioned to me that you remind him of his mother, and how he wanted to protect her… and he failed. He was only a child, after all. There wasn't much he could do against his father… our father. But he came to me, confused, asking why he felt the need to protect you. I brushed it off, because I didn't understand it at that point either. You were human. We are vampires. There is no relationship other than predator and prey. But I began to think about it when Ayato asked me if there was any history of vampires taking humans as their mates. At first I told him it was pointless because you can't reproduce, and that's the point of a mate. You may think that we're heartless… but we've all experienced emotions, same as you. Heartbreak, anger, attachment, happiness, despair and love. Everything. We've felt it, but we've been alive for longer than you may believe. We are young for the way that we look, but we're not…" He trailed off. "That's a conversation for another time, I suppose… These feelings get old to us over time, is my point. Ayato expressed to me that he was worried he may have feelings of love for you."

I gulped at that statement, and saved it in the back of my mind for later questions I would have to find the answers to.

"At first I said that it was because Cordelia, his mother, was a part of you, and even though he played his part in her death, she was still his mother, and feeling her inside of you could have brought up the past. But he was persistent and claimed that wasn't it, and he forced me to sit down and talk to him about having a relationship with a human. I told him very simply, because I knew you would not appreciate having a relationship like a vampire would expect, and how humans base relationships on love and lust. I told him that if he wanted to proceed in that fashion, with you, he was going to have to have a relationship as if he was a human, otherwise you would not want it. As you can imagine, he didn't take it so well and he stormed off. He never spoke of it again and further on he told me he didn't know why he brought it up to begin with."

My thoughts moved from one topic to another very quickly. I had so many questions now. I didn't know which ones to ask first.

"Why can you so easily have a conversation like this, while the others are so…"

"From when I was a child, I studied fact. I still do. That's all."

"So why are you telling me these things? So I will… be the female in your coven?"

"I just want you to understand that while we do things that seem ruthless or immoral in your eyes… well, we all have our reasons. I'd be happy to sit down and talk to you about anything. Any questions you may have in the future… you can bring them to me and I'll answer them as truthfully I can."

It sounded like he was finished. He took a step towards the door. I knew that I could ask him my questions when I sorted them all out in my head, on my own time.

"Thank you, Reiji."

"I also ask that you consider it. I don't know how else to tell you… we do care. It's just different for us."

"Could you explain that before you go?"

He turned, but he didn't seem too happy about it. I gulped, but he started to answer me.

"It's in your nature to want a human-like relationship. I feel bad for my brothers because of this."

"What does that mean? What's the difference between what you're calling a human relationship and a vampire relationship? They can't be much different, right?"

"Humans need attachment. In a way, they need to feel loved, and they based relations off of that singular feeling. We don't, Yui. Female vampires are rare and yet many of my kind will kill them just to say that they did it. There is no love because there are so few females. There is desire and, simply put, a need to be better than someone else because you have something that others do not. Vampires are territorial. Females are often viewed as pets, and in other circumstances, they are viewed as tyrants. Many know their rare status and take advantage of it. Others try to hide because they know what could be done to them if they are found. It's very different. Because of this, we don't give much attention to having the kind of relationship humans do. We can't pick and choose who we want, or jump from one to the next. If we find one, we quickly take advantage of a rare opportunity, and that's all."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say in response to that.

"You should be glad your father asked that you come here. You may think of me and my brothers as ruthlessly cruel and selfish at times, but you have never known other vampires. The majority of them are like Cordelia and my uncle. You are fortunate, I believe. To have vampires like Ayato and Subaru around you now. They care. They feel. And much more than any other vampires I've known. They like to think they're cruel because to us it shows strength, but deep down… no." Reiji closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. "They're not… Not really… And that doesn't necessarily mean that they're weak, either."

And then he opened the door to exit.

"One last thing, Yui… I mentioned strays… I don't doubt that they can smell you from miles away, so just be careful. You have suddenly become a rare prize in our world… A rare prize that has never been seen before in the history of vampire-kind, of which you are now a part of. Despite what you may think, you should take comfort in the fact that you have us… because others may seek to steal you away. And many will undoubtedly seek to destroy you."

I didn't get much sleep, to say the least. I had a lot on my mind, and it didn't seem like anyone was talking to me, even though the secret was out already. Maybe they were just getting tired of me. I didn't mind too much anyway. I needed time alone right now. The two things I couldn't stop thinking about were Haru and my father. Haru, for obvious reasons—I couldn't be with humans anymore… at least not in the sense of a relationship… I mean, I could try, but it was pointless… I was vampire. It was strange because I still felt human, but I trusted Reiji to tell me the truth. And if vampire blood ran through my veins… how was I supposed to be with someone while I was like that? And poor Haru… I really did like him. I was going to tell him, too, before Ayato interrupted us. And he'd kissed me… I wondered what that would bring up in the future. We went to the same school, so it wasn't like I would never see him again. In fact, I would see him tonight, in the pool during second period. I was a bit worried. Reiji must have threatened him from the way his face went pale the last time I saw him. Maybe he would just avoid me from now on. It seemed better that way when I thought about it.

My other thoughts were on my father, and that was currently what filled my brain. This whole time I thought my father had sent me to a house of vampires… sold me for the Awakening because he needed money… But maybe it was something else. I knew that during the beginning of the process, my blood was very attracting to vampires. And it had been the Sagamaki brothers who took the role of draining me when they pleased. But maybe my father knew. Maybe he knew that the Awakening was beginning, and vampires would soon be after the smell of my blood. Maybe he'd known that Ayato and the others would be cruel, but in s sense they protected me from the rest of the vampire world. In their mansion, no other vampires were allowed inside… And they always told me that I would die if I tried to leave. Maybe that was why. I would have to ask Reiji, so I made myself a mental note and hoped I would remember it later.

Another question I had was whether or not my father knew I would be the first Bride… the first human to survive the Awakening process. Because if he'd known that as well, then he might have known about what Reiji explained to me last night—about the coven and me being surrounded by male vampires. And if he'd known that, then did he know that Ayato and Subaru and Shuu and the others would treat me kindly, in a sense, compared to anywhere else? And then again, how did I really know that. I knew that the brothers, especially Subaru, Ayato and Shuu, would protect me from any harm or any threats that came my way. If my father had known all that, then this was for my benefit. And maybe he would come back… Maybe now that the process was complete and I was a vampire alongside the Sagamaki family… Maybe he would come to see me. Another thought I'd had before was if he would show up and take me home with him. I knew I wouldn't be happy leaving behind these vampires and going off on my own. And I knew it wasn't because I wouldn't feel safe. I knew… that my heart would hurt for them if I had to leave. I even pictured myself fighting against my father to stay with them… but I didn't know what I would actually do if something like that happened in the future.

One of the biggest things I had to think about, but the one thing I really didn't want to… was what Reiji had referred to as taking mates. He'd basically said that I could have all of them and because I wasn't human—saying that still bothered me—the idea of cheating on someone didn't apply because vampires didn't think of having more than one mate as a bad thing, especially for a female. It sounded like many vampires would be offended if only had one boyfriend at a time… I laughed to myself. I was using words like "mate" and "boyfriend" as if that made it make more sense to me. But it didn't. I just didn't know what else to call it. Saying it was a relationship didn't sound right. Saying I had a boyfriend wouldn't be right either. I guess mate was the easiest way to describe it. But that sounded so primal. I supposed that's why it worked, though. Vampires were more instinctual than humans anyway. They didn't have rules like we did.

I paused.

We…

I couldn't truly believe that I was a vampire. In a sense, I wasn't. I didn't have strength or speed, and I didn't have the bloodlust. I didn't even have fangs. All I had was blood in my veins from Cordelia and whatever was in that concoction that Reiji said he had Ayato administer while I was dead. I hadn't caught it when he said it, but I remembered Reiji saying that it had to be taken mouth to mouth by a vampire… And Ayato was the one who gave it to me. I also remembered him almost kissing me when Cordelia and I were fighting for control over my body. When I was in the lake, and he pulled me out… when we were both on land again. He'd said some strange things… Things that I would have never expected him to say. I guess I didn't remember it until now because right after he said that, I was forced to run from my life from his brothers. I assumed that was also when Ayato fought them to keep me safe. Otherwise, they would have followed me through the woods and back to the mansion and drank me dry.

I remembered what he said now as if he was saying it to me in person. I could hear his voice in my head—"As long as I have your blood, I'll never want… Your blood is too sweet to give up. And you belong to me. Your blood, your heart, your body, your soul, your everything." And his final words—"Devote your blood and your life to me…"

It was a confession of sorts, I knew. It was also Ayato, so I knew he was controlling. Devoting my blood to him wasn't anything more than allowing him to do what he pleased with me at any time. It was his way of asking me to promise to never say no when he wanted my blood. But my life… devoting my life to him… I wasn't sure if he'd just said that because it had a nice ring to it, or if he meant it in the human sense. Each of those words held so much meaning for me now, because I could feel that I also cared for him. He'd started by saying that as long as he had my blood, he wouldn't want any other, but he cut himself off and replaced that statement with telling me that my blood was too important to him. It was either him trying to say human things to get me to agree to let him have his way with me… or it was something like… a vampire acting almost human. And I found the temptation of having Ayato in a human sense very appealing.

I shook my head. I had to remember that he was still a vampire and every one of his words was just a ploy… a setup to be able to drink from me and make it seem okay when it wasn't. Well… it wasn't okay based off of human morals and ideals. For vampires… I paused again. I was a vampire now. What did that make—

"Oi, Pancake."

I yelped and whipped around, clearly not expecting anyone to show up in my room today, much less the man I was thinking about in such a fashion.

"Ayato-kun…" He was already in uniform, and night classes didn't begin for at least another few hours. "Did you need something?"

A coy smirk spread on his lips, but then it quickly faded. "I don't want you hanging around that child anymore."

"Child? Oh, you mean Haru…" I lowered my eyes to the floor. "He's just—"

"He touched what's mine. I should kill him, but Reiji said I'm not allowed."

I looked back up at him, my eyes wide. "Why would you even say such a thing?"

In the next moment, Ayato was standing a couple inches from my face, his eyes glaring into mine. That bright yellow-green color was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. "He… touched you…" He trailed off, then took a step back. "He touched what belongs to Yours Truly."

"I don't belong to anyone," I said. I tried to sound forceful, but it came out soft instead.

Ayato narrowed his eyes. "You understand what Reiji told you?"

For a second I thought he was referring to what Reiji had told me in private, about Ayato talking to him about having a human for a mate, and how that would work for him if he wanted it. I opened my mouth to respond to that, but then shut it. He was talking about me being a vampire.

"What about it?"

"You are mine."

"I just said that I'm not anyone's. I'm no one's property. I'm not some belonging—"

Ayato stepped forward again and my mouth involuntarily shut, as well as my mind. Trying to for a sentence out of words would be embarrassing at this point.

"He… what he did…"

"He kissed me, Ayato," I quickly said, and I was surprised at my own sudden confidence burst.

"That's… very… human." He spat the word.

"Well, I…" I paused. "I used to be human."

"Is that what you want?"

"What?" I didn't understand what he was asking.

"Did you… want that?"

"I never wanted to be vampire. I never even knew—"

I was shoved backwards until my back hit the wall and hi slammed his open palm into the wall to the left of my head, baring his fangs at me with a snarl.

"A-Ayato-kun—what are you…"

"Do you want that?!" he angrily shouted at me.

I could feel tears welling up in the back of my eyes. I didn't understand. Did he want me to say that I didn't want to be a vampire, because I didn't feel any different, and so it didn't matter as much to me. I wasn't sure. I hadn't even thought about whether or not being a vampire was something that I wanted or not. But why was he getting so mad over it?

I guess it was taking me too long to answer him because he grabbed my chin with his right hand and forced my head up as his fangs neared the side of my throat. And before I could say a word, I felt two sharp fangs pierce my flesh, right beside the marks he'd given me last night at the school.

I couldn't fight him. His strength was too great. I was still human, as far as my physical body was concerned. I wondered how partially immortal I truly was. If I stepped off a high ledge and fell fifty feet, would I be able to walk away, even if my body was ripped apart. If Ayato drained me of my blood, would I somehow be able to come back from the dead a second time? I couldn't think straight as my vision blurred.

"Please… Ayato-kun… stop… stop it…"

My weight dropped all at once and I felt him hold me up with his left hand. His fingers were digging into my arm, but I barely noticed it. My eyes were slowly shutting and I could feel my conscience slipping away.

"Ayato!"

Suddenly, what I felt as Ayato's warmth was pulled away from me, and replaced with a chill as I fell, collapsing onto the ground.

"Get off me, baka!"

"You can't do this to her anymore!"

"I can do what I want! She's mine!"

"Get out!"

And when I heard the faint sound of a door closing, someone was lifting me up and I was placed on my bed.

"S… Su..baru… kun?"

"Just be quiet."

And then two more sharp fangs pierced my skin below my collarbone. I didn't have the strength to make any noise, and as soon as he started drinking from me, all I could think was that I was a little happy that things were going back to normal. I felt sick, and the darkness overwhelmed me. I welcomed it with open arms.