Chapter Six:

Because of the incident with Ayato, I assumed I was being punished. Everyone besides Subaru had gone off to school for the night, but I was forced to stay home. I still wasn't sure exactly what happened with Ayato, though, so I figured I'd use this opportunity to maybe get some answers from the youngest vampire brother. I really didn't think that going to Reiji was going to be a good idea anymore. I don't know what put him on edge, but I wasn't going to bother him with my curiosity from now on. And since Subaru seemed to be on my side a little more than the others, I assumed he was a good person to talk to.

I headed downstairs to the kitchen, hoping he'd be making himself something to eat. Unfortunately, when I got there, the place was spotless—untouched since the last time I made dinner for myself, probably. And that was a while ago. But then I got an idea. Vampires had inhuman abilities. Was hearing one of them?

"Subaru-kun?" I called, and then waited as I heard a slight echo bounce around the large room. I hadn't been shouting, but I hoped he'd hear me anyway. I also didn't want him to think that I was shouting for him because something was wrong or—

"What?"

I jumped and turned to find him standing there. So he could hear me… I wondered how far away he'd been, and how quickly he'd come to me. Either way, he seemed a little pissed off. And even though that was usual for him, I couldn't help but wonder if something was on his mind.

"Are you all right?" I had to ask, especially if I wanted to start firing my questions at him.

He rolled his eyes with an angry sigh. "What do you want?"

Okay… I supposed I should just start asking then… "I was curious about a few things, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind talking to me about…"

"Mating?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Why did the thought of mating, or at least talking about it, make him moody? If the brothers all wanted to… I just figured it'd be something they were all open to discussing, even Subaru.

"Well, yes… but other things, as well."

"Like what?"

I quickly looked around. "Well…" I gulped. This was awkward… "Why don't we go somewhere else? I mean, the kitchen is—"

"I'll meet you in your room."

And then he was gone. I had to gulp again. Why did it have to be in my bedroom? I hope he didn't expect anything to happen. I just said I wanted to talk…

I took a deep breath and headed back the way I'd come from. When I was standing in front of my door, it was open a crack, so I just swallowed my nervousness and stepped inside. Against my better judgement, I closed the door behind me. Subaru was standing through the curtains, on the small patio outside the glass door that served as my usual window. He turned and walked back inside when I took a step forward. Thankfully, he left that door open. There was a warm breeze coming in from the night.

"So," he said, "What did you want from me?"

And I couldn't help myself. "Why do you keep saying it like that? Like you're bothered by me. Should I not have called you? I just thought that bringing my questions to Reiji, like I normally would, wouldn't be the smartest idea right now, seeing as he's mad at me for being all post-human-vampire. So I just thought I could talk to you. And we're the only people here for a few more hours anyway, so even if I didn't have questions, wouldn't it be nice to just talk? Or at least spend some time together. You're always gone. You never want to do anything other than walk around by yourself."

When I was finished with my little rant, I paused, but Subaru was still looking at me like he was bored or something. Fortunately, he spoke up before I could jump back into my rant.

"What questions do you have?"

"Well, first, I wanted to know about last night… you know, with Ayato."

I saw a slight blush color his cheeks. He turned his head and gaze away from me. "What about it?"

"What happened to him?"

"You took his blood."

"I know that. But what happened?"

He still wouldn't look at me so I just watched his face. He was still blushing. What did all this even mean to vampires?

"Subaru… listen, I know that this is weird for you to talk about. Reiji said that before, but I really just want to understand things better. I just… don't understand—"

"Blood sharing…" he trailed off, and then looked at the ground as he spoke. "It was originally used by females to force their bonded males into submission when they desired offspring. As time went by, our kind learned to use it for pleasure instead of dominance, although that tradition never ceased, either way. A female would simply take the blood of her males and they would become immobile, for the most part. And then the female would dominate them to have children while they couldn't fight back."

I froze. That… wasn't romantic at all. I didn't know why I thought that maybe this would be something that could be a little more human, but I certainly guessed wrong.

"It's not all bad," Subaru continued, almost as if he read my mind. "That was mostly in the past. It's not like how humans think of rape, if that's what you were thinking—the female has to be bonded to a male in order for this to work, so the male must have already chosen the female as a mate. Therefore, a female couldn't just force herself on any male. Of course, that's clearly not true in your case. You seem to have the ability to dominate males without their consent."

I flushed this time. "I would never…"

"I know. It's just strange. Any other female with your… defect, would take full advantage of it, while you seem to dislike it. Not that any of us mind. It would be extremely disrespectful for us to mate with a female we're not bonded to."

"I thought… once you mate, you're bonded."

"Well… it's a choice, to an extent… If it's forced, under stress or fear, or whatever… a male can choose not to bond with a female. No one wants to do that. It's… demeaning. In all honesty, a male would probably force himself to bond with a female even in that situation, just to save himself from the self-humiliation."

"So, then… what happened with Ayato?"

"It's not as if you dominated him, but I'm sure it made him feel… uncomfortable. I would suggest mating with him before taking his blood again, just because it's probably messing with his body… internally."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not going to give you a lesson on vampire anatomy and sexual mentality, but just as humans become bonded in their own way after mating, vampires do the same, just it's a lot stronger. For Ayato to have felt your bond to him without being bonded himself… I really couldn't tell you what it would feel like because I have no idea, but picture someone mating with you, and then if you could feel that kind of bond that they have with you, but you have no attachment to them at all… Well, I doubt that clarifies things, but…" He trailed off again, probably at a loss for words. It sounded complex, but I thought I understood it a little better. But he still wasn't answering my core question.

"So… what exactly happened to him?"

"You took his blood. Your body is bonded to his, however that happened, and…" He trailed off again. "You could say that your body… does things to blood that you've been bonded to, and then the owner of that blood can feel what you're doing to it… if that makes sense."

"I didn't do anything. I just swallowed like… a drop."

"It's not what you voluntarily do. Once Ayato's blood was inside of you, your body takes it and…"

"And what?"

Subaru just stared at me for a moment before I realized that he wasn't going to answer me. I guess I had to use my imagination on that one.

"So, it's like… sex?" I winced at my own words.

"Stronger."

"Oh…"

"He can feel your emotions physically attack his body. It happens at the full effect for only a short time, but even now, he probably feels a little bit of what you're feeling, and he will for maybe another twenty-four hours. Distance also doesn't matter."

"So… He's at the school, and he can…"

"It's not that strong since he's not bonded with you, so he can probably only feel something strong, like fear or panic. He wouldn't sense much else than that."

"And if he was… bonded to me?"

"He would feel everything… in moderation. I've heard that males can ignore happiness and simple emotions like that, just because it would be a pain to feel everything. It's mostly just for protection—if you're in danger and you're afraid, he would probably come to you, even now."

"Oh." And then another thought hit me. "Reiji said that I may have also bonded with you and Shuu…" I trailed off when I saw him suddenly clench his teeth and look away. "Is something wrong? I'm sorry, I know this is weird for you. Like I said before, I'm just curious because I don't fully understand—"

"Yui."

I paused for a second at his interruption. "Hmm?"

"…Would you say no if I asked you to take my blood?"

"Excuse me?" I jumped.

"Don't you want to know if you've bonded to me?"

"Well, yes, but isn't that—"

"It would be easier for you to understand if…" He paused and then dropped his head again. "Sorry," he said, and then stood. He made for the door before I realized I was losing a chance. Subaru rarely dropped his guard like this.

"Wait," I said, not sure if it was the best thing to do to call him back. He paused, but didn't turn. "I am curious about that, too. If I'm… bonded to anyone other than Ayato. I just… would it be weird…? To do something like that? If you're saying it's stronger than sex… I don't know… it seems… wrong?"

"It's not mating, Yui. And it's only strong in that way if you want it to be. Blood sharing can do other things, as well, such as strengthen a bond."

"It's not weird to you?"

"I would welcome it, as would any other male."

"Even if you're not… bonded?"

"I don't really know how all of this works with you, since you were once human, but I still feel something like a bond because you are now a vampire. It's only strange because things have been happening—and not just to me, but to my brothers as well—that would suggest that some of us have already bonded to you, even though none of us have. If anything is weird… it's that." He walked over and sat on the edge of my bed, on the opposite side as me. "I don't fully understand what's been happening, but I can try to explain things to you through experience…"

"I… I don't think I want to do that…" I said slowly, hoping I wasn't going to make him angry by refusing.

Unfortunately, it made him a little annoyed. I could see his expression change, and I felt like I had to do something or he would just leave.

"May I ask more questions?"

"What a pointless question that is. If you have more questions, just ask them."

"Okay…" I tried to organize my jumbled thoughts so he wouldn't get too much more annoyed with me. "I was going to try and talk to Reiji about this but…" I trailed off. Subaru was just watching me, and he still looked peeved. "Well, I would like to try to get closer to… all of you, but I was wondering if we could compromise on the "how" of it."

"I don't understand what you're asking," the white haired man said, narrowing his eyes. "What kind of compromise?"

"Well… since I was human, I think of relationships as a human would, so… if you guys could compromise on… the "how"—"

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"I guess…" He was getting more and more irritated and I just said whatever came to mind. "Well, I was thinking about asking Ayato out on a date."

"That's petty."

I instantly lowered my gaze.

"You would make him pay for your meals and hold doors and dance and court you like a human would? That's demeaning, Yui. You would actually embarrass him like that? You don't' realize that you're already torturing us enough?"

I couldn't even look up anymore. I hadn't thought of it like that…

"I just thought… I just thought that it was a way for us to…" I trailed off again.

"You humans and your emotions," he tsked. "You can't just feel something. You have to act on every little emotion and prove that you feel something to each other instead of just yourself. It's so… desperate."

I wanted to say that I wasn't a human anymore, but I guess that point was mute. I guessed I got my answer, though, so I decided to move on to another question.

"What about… if I don't mate with any of you?"

Subaru instantly narrowed his eyes at me.

"I-I mean… Reiji said he'd want me to leave if that was my choice—"

"And is it?"

I paused, but I already knew the answer.

"No."

And then Subaru was silent for a moment as well.

"Ayato?" he asked, and I could only nod. "You want to bond with him?" I nod again. "Well, he'll certainly be glad to know that."

"You wouldn't say anything."

"If you don't want me to, I won't. But I don't understand your reasoning for that. Another human notion, I assume?"

"Probably," I muttered.

"And as for the rest of us? Was Reiji correct in his statement that your human past will not allow you to take more than one mate?"

"I…" I trailed off. "I want to be honest with you… I've wanted to talk to someone about this for a few days now…"

Suddenly, a stinging feeling rose from inside my mouth and I winced. My gums started to throb slightly, like a soft heartbeat, and I put my hand to my mouth.

"Yui?" Subaru asked, watching me carefully.

"Something's wrong…" I said, rubbing my fingers over my gums. And then, the pain hit, and I screamed for only a few seconds before everything went dark.

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"…don't understand how this could even…"

"…not like we can predict anything at this point anyway…"

"…see that one coming…"

"She's moving."

"Yui?"

I slowly opened my eyes and Ayato was right in front of my face. I jumped a little, but he just smiled.

"Yo."

"Ayato-kun?" I lifted my hand and rubbed the back of it against my sore eyes. "What… What happened?"

"You look good," Laito said, and he was standing in the corner of the room, smiling at me, too. Subaru was standing next to the door, his arms crossed, watching me. The others were missing.

"I like it," Ayato said, reaching his hand up to my face. "They're small… but I like 'em smaller anyway." His fingertips rested on my lips and I jumped again. "Open for me," he says, and I flush. What?

"Ooh, Bitch-chan's getting excited. Don't tease her too much now, Ayato. Save some fun for the rest of us."

"Your mouth. Open your mouth, Pancake."

"W-Why?—" I started to ask, but as soon as my lips parted for me to speak, he stuck two fingers into my mouth. I jumped once more.

"Don't bite me now," he teased, and I flushed even more.

"Ayato…" Laito purred. If you keep making her look like that, I'm going to have to some over there."

"Just shut up already…" Ayato said offhandedly, while his fingers explored in my mouth. I just stared, wide-eyed at him. He went back to smirking when his fingers paused on one of my teeth. I felt him rub it back and forth and for some reason, it sent chills down my spine. I shivered uncontrollably, and both Ayato and Laito laughed. Subaru scoffed and then turned and exited the room. What the hell was going on?

"Ayato-kun…" I mumbled around his fingers, and he took them out. "What happened? I remember…"

"You scared me," he replied, still smirking. "It was faint, because I'm not bonded to you, but I could feel when you were in pain for a moment. Turns out you may not be so human anymore, after all."

"I don't… understand."

"You're like a newborn. Reiji said you may even fully transition at this rate."

"What?"

"Here." He grabbed my one wrist and brought my hand up to my mouth. He then grabbed my pointer finger and stuck it in my mouth. At first, I wanted to recoil or push him away, but after a second, I felt a sharpness at the tip of my finger and I froze. "You feel it?" Ayato asked with a light smile.

"I have… fangs?"

"They're so tiny!" Laito chirped in, clapping his hands once. "You're adorable, Bitch-chan!"

"W…Why did this happen to me?"

Reiji walked into the room and looked right at me.

"The transition from the Awakening may not have been fully completed as soon as you turned. Maybe you'll fully transition over time, but because no one's ever done this before, there's no way to know for sure. You could just grow fangs and then that's it. Or… you could actually turn into a pureblood. I don't even know if that's probable, but… based off of what you've done so far, there's no way to tell, and it seems like nothing's impossible at this point. It just means that your transition may not actually be complete."

"I… I feel different, too." And it was true. Something about me was different. Maybe it was my vision. It had to be. I glanced at Ayato. He looked different—brighter. His hair was brighter. So were his eyes. His smile, too. His skin looked softer. I… I paused for a moment just to look at him. He was… beautiful. He was… desirable to me.

I instantly blushed and looked away, hoping no one had noticed, but then Ayato turned and smirked. He leaned forward and I froze. He put his mouth right next to my ear and whispered.

"Pancake… I felt that."

"Ayato, what are you doing?" Laito asked, laughing. "Her face just got so red, and I can smell her desire from over here." And that just made my face get even hotter. He was kidding… right?

"I feel fine now," I quickly said, trying to sit up. Ayato sat back and watched me with that smirk of his plastered on his face. Laito was watching me with amusement written all over his expression. Reiji was purposefully avoiding eye contact, for whatever reason.

I sat up and swung my legs over the makeshift bed. Why wasn't I in my room, anyway? At least no one had touched my clothes…

"It seems fangs aren't the only change to you…" Reiji suddenly said and I frowned, looking over at him. Then I looked down at myself. I looked exactly the same, except for the two, tiny sharp teeth.

"What do you mean?"

"It seems you've grown more attached to us as a species," he said lightly, coughing a bit, and Laito laughed, like it was some kind of joke. "Your scent is… stronger, as well."

"Is that bad?"

"You smell more like one of us," Ayato added, "And the scent of that rare blood of yours is magnified alongside it. It's… delicious."

"You wanna try out your new teeth, Bitch-chan?" Laito asked, and I turned to find him pointing to his own exposed neck. I quickly shake my head and he snickers. "I hope you know this will only make me want you even more." I jumped a bit and headed for the door. I heard someone behind me, but I kept going until I was in a hallway I recognized. I headed straight for my bedroom. I had fangs… I had fangs… I put my hand to my mouth again. That was… ridiculous.

As soon as I got there, I quickly closed the door behind me, not sure if anyone had really followed after me or not. I walked over to the vanity and sat down. Then, slowly, I parted my lips and looked in the mirror…

And there they were—two small fangs. My gums were bright red just above them, and I wondered how they just grew in. It looked like they replaced two of my old teeth, as well, but I don't remember them ever falling out. Maybe they reshaped themselves? Who knew…

I put a finger to one of them and rubbed it around. Suddenly, shivers went up and down my back and I froze. That felt… really good. I did it again and shivered again. How could touching my teeth feel that good? They didn't have nerves, except for at the bottom… Maybe they were sensitive from just coming in?

"Here. Lay down."

I whipped around in the small velvet chair to find Ayato, pointing to my bed.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

I frowned, but stood and walked over to the bed anyway. I sat on the edge, and as soon as my body hit the mattress, Ayato was right in front of me and he pushed me down. I gasped as he pushed me until my head was just below the pillow and my feet were no longer hanging off the end.

"Ayato—"

"Shh…" He put one finger to my lips to silence me and then climbed on top. My eyes widened. What was he…? He pinned my legs down with his own. "Don't struggle. I won't bite," he added with a chuckle, "…Probably." And then he pushed his one finger between my lips and moved it around. I just watched him, partially scared to move, and partially curious about what he was doing.

And then he placed his finger over the full front of one of my fangs and pressed down hard on it. My mouth opened wide in a gasp and my whole body convulsed. Ayato just laughed as he held me down.

"Payback," he whispered. He rolled the tip of his finger around the tip and I couldn't control myself when my hips moved upward and I squirmed beneath him.

"Ayato…" I tried to say his name clearly, but it came out as a moan. This was… This felt amazing. It was like a sensual massage. I could do this for hours. I could fall asleep to this. And he kept doing it—the same motion over and over again. How was this payback? This was heaven. Was it like this for all vampires? Was this what it felt like when they bit someone, too? For a moment, I thought I understood the brothers and their kind just a little bit better.

And then an idea hit me. I moved a little so my one arm was free, and I reached up to Ayato. I cradled his face in my hand for a moment—he really was beautiful—before tracing my fingertips over his jaw and coming up to his mouth. He blinked a few times in shock before his expression went back to playfully arrogant and he parted his lips for me.

I stuck my finger inside of him, but I wasn't in the mood for curiosity. I immediately moved so that I could massage his fang like he was doing to me. As soon as I mimicked the circling motion, I felt his body slump down and he let some of his weight fall on me. He let out a long exhale and closed his eyes in tranquility. I continued to roll my finger around his one fang.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but a knock came from the door, and both of us stopped and opened our eyes. I looked up at him and he looked down at me and we just stared at each other. His eyes were lidded and I wasn't even in the mood to try and convince myself that I didn't care about him. I knew my expression said as much, too.

"Yui…"

"We're going out!" Laito shouted from outside the door. "Take too long and I'll come in there and join you two!" And then he was gone. I could only just lay there and stare back at Ayato, and I got the strangest feeling…

I wanted him to kiss me.

I knew it would never happen. Vampires just didn't naturally do that. But… maybe if I asked… No. I couldn't do that, either. So I turned my head to the side and forced myself to look away from him. I closed my eyes, too. I wanted for Ayato to act a little human so badly, and I knew that it was selfish of me to think that way. And after talking to Subaru, I had even given up asking him out for dinner or something normal like that. So what was I supposed to do? Was it just this kind of weird stuff? Was this like a date to vampires? Teeth massages, or whatever this was even referred to as? It was just… normal people didn't do this stuff… It was weird…

"Have I upset you?"

I quickly open my eyes and shake my head. I don't want him to get the wrong idea, either.

"Did you enjoy that?"

I nodded.

"I'll meet you outside."

And then he was gone, too.

That was it. No talking. No kiss. Not even a hug. He wouldn't even hold me… I wasn't expecting this from myself, but I ended up curling into a ball on the bed and cradling myself with my knees against my chest. I still felt like a human. I still wanted that kind of comfort that vampires would never give me. Now it seemed like that perfect moment just now was so… lacking. It had seemed so meaningful before. Like Ayato and I had shared a special moment meant for two people who were more than just friends… But when it ended, I felt as if he didn't even care… Was that just my imagination? It felt like he was just in it for the pleasure and not for… me. And for some reason… I felt very used.