I do not own Dirty Dancing.

Chapter Twenty Five

POV Johnny

Regret

I abandon the search for a shirt that I'd started after Baby left, and instead climb into the shower. It would only be a waste of time, because the showering needed to happen regardless of weather I'd found a shirt or not.

Anyway, I managed to shower, find clean clothes, and make it to the staff dining hall before I had figured out what to do about Baby. I grabbed coffee and an Apple, before taking a seat by myself at the table where I usually sat with Penny and Billy. The latter of the two sat down not long after I did.

"You look horrible," My Cousin remarked.

"Gee, thanks," I responded sarcastically. I took a long sip of my coffee- black and strong enough to peel paint, just the way I liked it. "Is somebody taking breakfast to Penny?" I asked him. Billy lived nearer to Penny than I did, so he would be more likely to know these things.

Billy nodded, "Maria is taking her some once she's done eating. It shouldn't be long. You see her this morning?"

I sipped my coffee. "Billy, I have been up less than half an hour. Penny is probably still asleep after last night. I'll talk to her later," I had been meaning to do that. But I had all day to see her, and right now, Penny was, true to my word, most likely still sound asleep.

Billy nodded, and turned the conversation back to his first opener, "Seriously, Johnny, it looks like you have a hangover," That was probably accurate, but in actuality, it was more the face you make when you've had sex you regret. Right now, I wasn't really regretting the sex, because I had actually enjoyed it. What I was regretting, was not so much the sex as the fact that the sex could get me fired.

"I wish I had a hangover," I grumbled. Nothing makes you grumpy like knowing you slept with someone you shouldn't have.

Billy rolled his eyes. "What did you do? It was midnight when you left last night. Six hours overnight isn't a whole lot of time to screw up in," He commented.

"It was enough," I answer. Resigning myself to the fact that Billy wasn't going to give up until I told him, I answer vaguely, "I may or may not have slept with someone I shouldn't have,"

"It was Baby, wasn't it?"

I look up at him, frowning, and gesture across the room to the staff snob congregation. "Say it a little louder, would you? I think the Waiters didn't hear you," Billy snickered. "Unfortunately, yes, it was. She came over last night to apologize for her Father, and eventually she said that she had feelings for me." In the simplest terms, this was true, but Billy didn't need to know the exact details of last night. Nor did I want him to. It was between Baby and I.

"Which obviously meant you had to sleep with her." Billy rolled his eyes. I scowl at my Cousin. "Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't see it before. She's had a crush on you at least since the first time you danced with her, if not longer. But then, I suppose you were too busy making eyes at her," Billy teased.

"I don't make eyes," I say, "And you're one to talk. I'm surprised you even noticed what I was up to, what with you spending most of your free time drooling over Lisa. I don't think she even knows you're alive,"

I've dealt a low blow to my Cousin, and I know it. But it is not untrue. Even Billy knew it, admitting, "Fair point," As he took a bite of his bagel. "I can't believe she's with that asshole," He said spitefully, looking across the room at Robbie, the aforementioned asshole.

I pat his shoulder sympathetically. "Believe it, Billy. He's fooling her like he fooled Penny,"

Billy released a sigh. He didn't want to talk to me about Lisa. His crush was going nowhere fast, whereas mine, something had actually happened. I just had no idea what I was going to do about it. But of course, Billy being Billy, he asked this very thing, "So what are you going to do about Baby?"

I exhaled, brushing back my hair. "I have no clue," I responded to my Cousin, sitting back in my seat. "The things I did to her last night... I mean... how am I supposed to face up to her after that?" What had happened between us last night was never supposed to happen. Not with me. I wasn't supposed to do those things with guests, and I certainly wasn't supposed to do them with someone like Baby. She was as far off limits as you could get. The Daughter of Max's friend, his personal guest, who wasn't even legally an adult yet. Hell, Baby was barely even over the legal age of consent.

"Did you come on to her?" Billy asked in a hushed tone, leaning over the table in an attempt to keep our conversation quite. I took a sip of my coffee.

"No," I answered with a shake of my head. "But I didn't stop her, either. And I should have. It's against the rules. This is only going to end badly," I continued insistently. Someone would find out, and they would tell Max. Then Max would tell Doctor Houseman, and fire me. Then Doctor Houseman would take Baby home.

"You didn't start it, though." Billy insisted, hoping that I wouldn't be too negative about this. "She did. Baby acted first, and no matter how much you wanted it, nothing will change that. You didn't start it, no problem."

"Correction," I hissed, trying to keep my voice down, "Big problem. I should have stopped it. And didn't. She was a virgin! How do you think Doctor Houseman is going to react when he finds out where his precious Daughter was last night?"

"Johnny, you've been pining after Baby for weeks now." Billy said slowly. "Nobody is going to blame you for not having the strength to tell her it couldn't happen when she offered you exactly what you'd been torturing yourself over for the past few weeks." But that wasn't true. Billy knew it, too. Max, Neil, and Doctor Houseman all would blame me. In their minds, there was no way I could be more guilty, and they were the people with power. "And I know you at least tried to stop it at some point. Does any of it, her being a virgin, what her Father is going to think of this, change how you feel about her?" I was silent, and studied the table with a sharp gaze. Both of us knew that it didn't. "Look, you like Baby, right?"

That was a stupid question, and both of us knew that. You didn't sleep with someone you didn't like. But that wasn't what Billy was asking. What he really wanted to know was my feelings for her. If I was serious about what we had. "Billy, I'm crazy about her," I answered, admitting for the first time the extent of my feelings for Baby. It was the first time I'd ever said it aloud, but it was nothing if not the truth. I was falling in love with Baby, falling hard and fast. Fell, falling, fallen, it made no difference.

"Well, then talk to her!" Billy explained. "Did you talk to her this morning?"

I released a sigh. I should've talked to her. If we'd had more time, I might've done so. "No. It was kind of touch and go this morning. I woke her up and told her she needed to get going before her family found out she wasn't in her bed." I took a bite from my Apple. "We didn't really have the time to talk. To be perfectly honest, I don't know what I'm going to do about her. Or even what I should do. But I suppose I have to do something, don't I?"

Billy nodded. "You do. But be careful, Johnny. She's a guest, even if she likes you. Just... don't hurt her, okay?" I nod at Billy's words. That was something we could agree on. Hurting Baby was the last thing I wanted to do.

Gently, I nock on Penny's door, and let myself in. "Hey," I smile at her.

Penny grinned at me. It was good too see her smile after such an ordeal. It was definitely a good sign that she was recovering so fast. Baby's Father had done good work. "Johnny!"

Speaking of Baby, the woman herself stood across the room, no doubt having come to visit Penny herself. Though entirely unintentional, I felt the smile slide from my face as I saw her. In an attempt to distract myself from Baby, I turn my focus to Penny, closing the door and moving next to her. "So, how're you doing?"

Penny smiled, "I'm okay,"

"Yeah?"

"Doctor Houseman says I'm gonna be fine ," She assures me. "I can still have children,"

To anyone else, this might seem like a weird thing to say. But Penny and I had known each other since we were kids. We were like Brother and Sister. I knew she wanted kids, and she knew, though I hadn't told her, that I liked Baby. So when she brought up that she could still have kids, I was happy for her. "Oh, Penny, that's great. That's really great,"

Penny looked to Baby. We'd been somewhat rude this whole conversation, acting like she wasn't even here. She asked, in a high pitched tone, "So. How'd it go last night?"

Immediately, I answer, "Good." I tried not to look at Baby as I said so, when really that was all I wanted to do. I didn't want Penny asking about last night. She's known me long enough to be able to guess my feelings for a girl. I knew she knew I liked Baby. I also knew that if she found out Baby and I slept together, I'd receive a lecture on how likely I was to get fired.

"Fine," Baby answered softly. In a girlish, almost giggly tone, she continued. "I didn't do the lift, but it was good." She looks at me like she did the day at the wig stand. Like she was reliving the moment, thinking about every second. She smiled at the secret that was only ours to share.

All of a sudden it gets very quiet, and I know that Penny had figured out Baby and I slept together. Not by my expression, but by Baby's, who was still yet unable to school her features in such a way. Penny knew. Baby's face fell, and she spoke up, announcing her exit, "Well, I guess I... I guess I'm gonna go. Bye,"

Baby watched me on her way out, big brown eyes boring into my soul. Quietly, I managed a "See you," But it is inadequate. Baby deserved so much more than that after what I'd done.

Being unable to tell her how I felt hurt only half as much as having to lie to her about it.