January 31st, 1999
Donna
References: Debate Camp flashback
I notice Josh is doing his whole rockstar walk thing as he leaves Leo's office. I make a comment about WW160 and the tone of his response is… worrying.
"Yeah, hey. How ya doin?" Why do I feel like this isn't going to end well for me?
"What?" Just keep smiling. Don't let him throw you off.
"Guess what I have here? It's a copy of 21 magazine. It's for Generation Now." I can hear him mocking my youth. I ask if my interview is in there. Being interviewed was a very big deal for me! I'm excited.
"Uh huh."
"What?"
"In sleek Celia Yang slacks and a DKNY button down, she's not afraid to bring a note of let's do drinks to the office." Okay, that's not so bad. Why is Josh doing his I'm loving this routine?
"That's totally untrue but I like the sound of it." I may be flirting a bit.
"But much as we love her style, we worry about her experience and Bambi-esque naivete." Well, I don't love it but Josh told me to be prepared about those questions when we moved The White House. "There's so much to learn says Moss I didn't even know there was a nuclear missile silo under the White House."
And because I'm still surprised that Josh didn't tell me this kind of thing, I add, "I didn't."
"There's noooot!" Excuse me.
"There is!"
"There's n- who told you that?" Josh is reaching the danger zone of the thing where his voice squeaks.
"Jeff! When I met him for lunch." There. You don't know everything, Lyman. He blinks at me. Josh takes a deep breath that I'm sure does diddly squat in actually calming him down but he's trying.
He goes on to school me about how they tricked me. Maybe republicans are evil. I feel like an idiot. He is talking down to me but I can see the funny in it enough that I'm not too down about it. Also if it was that big of a deal, he wouldn't have been so satisfied when bringing it up. He's going on and on about playing the lead in some eighth grade play and how he was just so resilient and awe-inspiring and he's Mister Calm, Cool, and Collected.
I make a retort about the iodine tablets and duck under his arm to avoid further Josh-isms. The man is infuriating. I'll have to see what we can do about that smugness. I send him off even though I know perfectly well where his desk is. Abner has another thing coming.
February 2nd, 1999
Josh
References: Debate Camp flashback
I'm still freaked out about this thing with Donna. I might have a JD but I'm man enough in this case to admit I can't protect Donna. She might need to talk to a real lawyer. I didn't want to scare her but dammit! I meant what I said I'd vouch for Donna with this job and with my life. Perhaps stupidly so but she's Donna.
Her face when I told her she had to go home just about killed me. I gave her empty promises about fixing it but I don't know the first thing about the NSA and their ilk. She was so disappointed to leave. Damn. I'm lucky to have her. Well, not have her. But to have her working with me, to have her as a friend and assistant.
I'm describing everything to Sam when a couple red flags pop up.
Oh my god.
She got me.
I have a bad feeling about this as I step into the bullpen.
There she is, all toothy smile and what not.
Dammit! She introduces me to her friend, Michael, and is looking very satisfied with herself. All's fair in love and political pranks. I shake the guys hand and try not to think about how much Donna's attitude turns me on.
"But on your good days, I'm calling you Abner because you stepped into the White House and didn't flinch."
Why was that so sexy?
I think I may demand she call me Abner the next big win I get.
And it better be damn near soon.
March 19th, 1999
Donna
Josh just had a big win on a bill that dealt with foster care yet he doesn't seem to be gloating at all. This worries me for obvious reasons. Where's the weird victory dances? Where's the obnoxious bellowing? He's essentially sulking in his office right now and I have no clue what his deal is.
"Josh Lyman's office." I answer the phone while looking at Josh's closed door.
"Hi, Donna. Does Josh have a few minutes in an hour?" Uh oh. That's Congressman West's assistant. Congressman West is the guy Josh had worked with on this. Or at least one of them, a crucial one from what I've gleaned.
"He might, Jen. Can you tell me what this is about?" I ask quietly, flipping open his schedule.
"HR 778. I'm only telling you this so you can soften the blow with Josh. Prepare him a little." Jen tells me what I was fearing.
"Come on, Jen. You're going to have to give me more than that." I respond, already pulling the folder I had thought I'd laid to rest. It was looking to be another all nighter.
"Is that West's office?" I nearly jump out of my seat when I hear Josh directly behind me.
"One second, Jen." I cover the bottom of the phone and address Josh. "It's his assistant. And since when do you sneak up on me?" I try redirect his attention but his gaze is quite no-Donna-nonsense.
"Tell me it's not what I think it is." He groans. I give him a sympathetic smile and nod reluctantly. "I'm gonna kill someone." He mumbles as he walks off towards Toby's office.
I spend the next fifteen minutes interrogating Jen Fisher about what she knows. See, this is what senior staff doesn't realize. Us assistants and our gossip? Much more useful than normal water cooler talk. Once I find out as much as I can, I start setting up shop in Josh's office.
"Donna?" Leo's voice pulls me from organizational reverie.
"Oh! Hi, Leo."
"Where's Josh? We got a problem with HR 778."
"Oh, he knows. Congressman West's office called like thirty minutes-"
"West!? Damn. I got a call from Ustler." Leo growls out. Josh is going to be furious.
"Donna, I need you to pull the polling data from Macon County- oh, Leo, hey." Speak of the devil.
"Hey, Donna just told me about West. I was coming to tell you about Ustler."
"What!? Him too!? We just- shit!" Josh slaps the door frame and slides into the office, picking up the Macon County stats he was going to ask me for that I had already laid out.
"Yup. I've got a thing with Barryhill and Cashman but I can send over Margaret if you guys want the extra hands." Leo offers, knowing we have a long night ahead of us.
"We've got it, thanks." I don't know if I'm annoyed that Josh turned down help. On one hand, we could use it and maybe I could get an hour of sleep before needing to be back here tomorrow. On the other hand, I do prefer working alone with Josh. He's tense enough that I don't think anything will happen between us. Nothing has for a while. I mean, aside from occasional touches that last a minute or two longer than they should and the near constant flirting. We haven't broken any rules since January. I try to ignore the voice in my head telling me I miss breaking those insipid rules.
"Hey, Leo." Josh calls out as Leo makes to leave. I'm only pulled from my musings because the tone of melancholy in Josh's voice. Leo looks back at him with unreadable expression. "It feels like we've been losing every battle we put up a fight for lately." It's not a question or an accusation. Leo shrugs and makes his exit.
This is a common feeling among the senior staff. The first 100 days were good. A few blunders but no big losses. We made concessions on an education bill but it was declared a win for us in the press. Toby wasn't happy but everyone else had been relieved. Then we must have been resting on our laurels because the wheels came off the wagon somewhere and lately, nothing seems to be getting done without big chunks ripped out of whatever it is.
At some point during the night, Josh and I moved to the Roosevelt room and accepted Sam, Kathy, and Margaret's help. But it was past two a.m. when Leo came back, received the progress report and told us to pack up. There was nothing more we could do. The bill wouldn't leave committee.
Josh drove me home since he didn't want to riding the subway this late. He was uncharacteristically quiet.
"Josh?" I tempt fate by bringing Josh out of his head for a moment.
"Yeah?" His voice sounds a little raw.
"You knew this was going to happen?" I ask the question that had been burning a whole into my head.
"No." He snaps at me. Then looks over apologetically. "Sorry. I just… I had my suspicions, yeah."
"How?" I inquire.
I don't know if it helps him at all but by the time we've pulled up to my apartment, he's completed his half-rant, half-explanation. There's a part of me that wonders at his intelligence and ability to still teach me when he's this upset. There's a part of me hating to see him like this.
"Sorry. We're here. I- thanks, Donna."
"It's my job." I smile at him but he doesn't look back up at me. He reaches for my hand and we sit quietly for a minute, waiting for one of us to pull away.
"You're very good. You worked really hard, you've been working really hard, and I wish we had something to show for all of…" His voice trails off and my hearts breaks at the lack electricity in his voice.
"Josh…" I squeeze his hand. He finally meets my eyes. "Why don't you come up?" I basically proposition him. But he's so melancholy and un-Josh that I had to do something!
"Donna." He says in a tone that is not fueled by desire but reproach. I try to pull my hand away in embarrassment, not wanting to face his rejection. He doesn't let go. "It's just with everything so bad right now… we can't afford… I'm sorry." He does sound apologetic. But he doesn't even sound tempted and how is my ego supposed to fare with that? He does pull my hand to his mouth and kiss it. I keep my eyes on my lap.
"Good night, Joshua." I pick my purse up and open the door. "Josh? You do plenty of good for him." I assure him in spite of my bruised ego. I give him a small smile and climb out of his car. I unlock the door and turn back to see him waiting, watching, making sure I get in safe. I give him a small wave and try to convince myself that this is all I need from Josh.
April 9th, 1999
Josh
I'm in the office earlier than most people today. Like everyday that I don't spend the night at my desk. We've been sucked into a political hailstorm these past few months and I have no idea how to crawl our way out of it but I do feel responsible. I've got to find a way out of this complete mess of a first year we're having so far. It's looking pretty damn abysmal which explains why I'm already on a second cup of coffee.
However, as I look on the calendar, my near permanent frown begins to lift. Ah, finally some entertainment around here!
Donna won't be in for a few hours so I throw myself into reading some briefs on some national security stuff that mostly goes over my head.
"JOSHUA!"
I grin.
That's the sound of my dearest assistant discovering her lovely anniversary present. I stroll out of my office to find her glaring at the, if I do say so myself, rather stunning bouquet of flowers.
"Is something the matter, Donnatella?"
"Josh. Why are these addressed to me?" She sounds suspicious.
"It's our anniversary. I'm surprised you forgot. That's okay. You can pay me back by buying our lunch."
"I buy your lunch every day."
"With my credit card."
"Whatever. It's not our anniversary."
"Yes, it is."
"No, Josh. It's not."
"I'm not the type to get this wrong, Donnatella."
"Are you really so childish you cannot let go of the brief window of time that I was away?"
"Away? Nooooo. You left. For Doctor FreeRide! And so, this day will live in infamy, Donna!"
"You're awfully proud of yourself, there." She's pissed. But I am having more fun than I have in a while.
"Woah, Donna. Who got you those babies?" Sam remarks as he passes by.
"Yeah, Donna, who got you those?"
"A man-boy who has never read a calendar." She snaps at Sam who looks at me questioningly. I shrug. I'm sure my shrug convinces him I had no part.
"Ah, well. They're almost as beautiful as you are." Sam responds. I glare at him for a minute as Donna smiles.
"Thank you, Samuel. You're quite sweet."
"No problem, Donna. I'll see ya, Josh." Sam, the traitor, waltzes away.
"Why are you flirting with Sam?" I question Donna. Her eyes sparkle with mischief as she steps way too close to me.
"Jealous, Lyman?" She whispers.
"Not at all, Moss." I whisper in response. Thank god the telephone rings because I swear I could have taken her right there in the bullpen.
"Josh Lyman's office. How can I help you?" She returns to her desk.
And like that it's back to a normal day at the office. With just a pinch more banter and quite a few more glares from Donna than usual.
July 4th, 1999
Donna
The President gave a great speech tonight. Well, at least he did in the residence to the staff. It was absolutely inspired and inspiring. We were all smiling, a glimmer of hope shining through our pessimism after the past half year.
However, about an hour later, the President made a speech to the public and… well let's just say Toby is getting wasted. The President had been doing fantastically until he had about two more paragraphs of the speech. And then he improvised. Adding twenty five minutes of historical anecdotes that had Sam nearly fainting and Toby in need of a room of bubble wrap.
Toby and I have grown closer this past year than we did on the campaign. Getting through the Great Wall of Toby's Trust and the all the hurdles he puts up along the way is a personal achievement of mine.
I suppose this is why I've sought him out tonight. He's like a hot air balloon about to explode. He mentioned something about him and Andy last week and again tonight. I think something is really going on with the two of them. It makes me sad because I genuinely adore Congresswoman Wyatt. But no matter my sisterhood-ly feelings, my friend is in a lot of pain.
Two hours later, we're sitting on his couch, lamenting failed relationships and discussing the merits of good pie crust when Tobus (I've been calling him that since our third glass of scotch) does the unexpected- he broaches the topic of Josh and I.
"You're telling me *hiccup* that you propositioned Josh and he said no?" Okay, I may have been the one to broach the topic. Whatever.
"Yeah." I sigh, feeling sad.
"Over a foster care bill?"
"We do what we can for the kids, Tobus!" I retort because I am a very funny lady. Tobus agrees because he cracks up.
"What in God's name is going on in here?" Sam just found us. Tobus and I look at him like guilty teens being caught by a teacher or something.
"We're lamenting broken promises of love!" I inform him. I'm glad Toby is too drunk to miss the implication that I love Josh. Because I definitely do not. Nope. No. I mean, sure. As a best friend. Like I love Tobus or Sammy.
Sammy decides to join us in our drinking. We are all funny first then we get sad. Sam talks a little about his failed engagement with Lisa. At which point, I assure Sam he's much more attractive than most of the men in D.C. and that his kindness is a deadly tool of seduction. And I talk about the boyfriend I managed to see for a total of four weeks in May/June. He got fed up with too many missed dates and rainchecks. I blame Joshua, of course. And then Toby tells us that he's getting a divorce.
Sam and I are quiet. I start crying a little and Tobus and I hug. Sam tells Toby he's sorry, that he's here for him. I tell Toby that I'm shunning Andy from the sisterhood. He tells me not to. That it isn't her fault that he's unlovable. Sam and I do our best to assure him that this is patently untrue.
It's past three am when Sam and I pile into a cab. Toby elected to sleep in his office. Sam makes sure I get home safe, not unlike Josh. I lay in bed and wonder what Josh was doing tonight. And if he thought about me. But it's fine to wonder about your boss best friend who has seen you naked like this. Nothing to see here.
November 14th, 1999
Donna
References: Pilot
Josh and I had sex a year ago today.
President Bartlet won a year ago today.
Today Josh and I got in a fight.
I don't even know what is was about! He made some snippy comment about my handwriting and I told him to learn how to use his email. A few replies later and I may have called him a dinosaur. We yelled at each other until CJ came in and admonished Josh and gave me a look.
Now I'm just at my desk feeling sad. But I have a job to do. A job I love despite of my ass of a boss.
"Josh Lyman's office."
"Hi. This is Carrie from Capitol Beat. CJ told me to contact you." I spend the next few minutes on the phone with Carrie the producer. She tells me that Mary Marsh will be on with Josh next week and I roll my eyes. Great. Josh is going to love this. I decide to tell Toby first.
"Jesus." Is Toby's brilliant response.
"I know."
"He's gonna try to make her look stupid!"
"Try?"
"And succeed in not only that! But in confirming that the Bartlet White House is arrogant and smug!" Toby laments.
"We are arrogant and smug."
"Donna." Toby growls at me. I smile at him because I'm adorable.
"Get Josh ready? Got it."
"I'll be by later to give him a lecture.
Josh and I have a slightly clipped conversation and I tell him not to wear that one stupid tie of his and he makes fun of me. I tell him that it bleeds. I'm pretty sure he's going to wear it anyways.
November 20th, 1999
Josh
References: Pilot
Donna brought me coffee.
She's scared about her job, I tell myself.
But there's a voice that sounds half my mother, half Donna yelling at me that she cares about me. I've been trying to avoid thinking about that lately. But ever since the 778 thing, it stings a little to look at her. I feel like an ass. She's supportive of me to a fault. Which is all the more reason we cannot be together. I'd destroy her. I can't risk that happening with Donna.
And for some reason, this is running through my mind as I look at the picture of Mandy. She does look good. I very briefly ponder the idea of hooking up with her. To take my mind off of Donna. This whole thing is really put a damper on my sex life this past year.
I've had offers. In fact, there was a woman who was pretty and smart and I went on two dates with her and she invited me back to her place and I kissed her good night lightly and left. And proceeded not to call her back. I couldn't stop thinking about Donna.
November 29th, 1999
Donna
References: A Proportional Response
Karma is a bitch.
It's a cliche but it's true.
I may have let CJ in Josh's office and not told him. What can I say? It's entertaining to watch him squirm! Plus CJ just got back from being sick. And she is scary when she's angry.
However my penance for this? Mandy Hampton showing up and asking to wait in Josh's office. I had no way of saying no. And then I decided not to tell Josh. Just to see what he would do. I wonder if he'll even remember that she's my veto.
He better.
Or else the rule about not talking will be broken.
That night, when I'm cleaning up Josh's office a little, I see it.
It's a picture of Josh and Mandy but Josh's face is scribbled out in black marker. I snort. That's an exceptionally middle school level of petty.
"Snooping?" CJ asks, grinning at me. I roll my eyes but smile so she knows I'm not taking her joking accusation seriously.
"Look at this. Can you get any more melodramatic?"
"Well… she does have a certain style. You have to give her that." CJ laughs.
"That's one word for it." I retort, placing it back on the desk face down. CJ doesn't comment.
"Donna… Josh told you, right?"
"That she's gonna be working here?" I ask calmly. I had already freaked out over this alone. I had my calm mask perfected now. It was a good thing Josh told me in the bullpen with lots people around. He's a smart boy.
"You're okay with that, right? I'm not… asking any questions. About… you know. But as much as a press secretary I want plausible deniability… I don't want her to cause problems for you."
"CJ, you're sweet. It's nothing to worry about." Except if Josh has selective memory about very important matters like article two, section 7 (i.e. vetoes)
December 4th, 1999
Josh
References: The Short List
It's entirely possible Donna Moss may murder me.
I've been a little unbearable. She should be used to it though.
Ever since I got my groove back when I derailed Lloyd Russell (and by extension, Mandy), I've been a little… obnoxious.
There are times that she thinks no one is looking that I see her smile at my antics. Which I have to say does not bring down my who da man-ness one bit.
Come on! A supreme court nominee!
I probably should have thought twice before I told her a bit more than boss-like than my usual tone to stay where she was when we went into the Oval Office. What can I say? I'm riding high baby!
When we come out of Leo's office, she's waiting there. She looks adorable. I wonder if she'll look that cute when she murders me. I direct us away from the group and lead her downstairs and find an abandoned IT stockroom, filled with keyboards and monitors and wires.
"Josh? What are we-"
And I kiss the daylights out of her.
She really may very well murder me.
AN woo phew ok man writer's block… I've been trying to write literally any of the JD stories I've started but it's been difficult. My (last!) semester of college just started back up though so I'm afraid updates will become more sparse. But this is a series that I have planned out and written ahead so I'm hoping this one at least will get updated. I really really appreciate reviews they keep me writing honestly…
I wanted in this chapter to kind of show their first year in office and also get a little glimpse into Donna's relationship with people other than Josh because I don't know if I've done a very good job of balancing the friendship stuff with the Josh stuff which is some of my favorite parts of other fics. Next chapter is going to explore season one (specifically In Excelsis Deo) so look forward to that :) thanks for reading love love love love ghostlyandcoastly
** additonal AN I went back and added the episodes where certain scenes from the show are mentioned- some entries are noncannon, original and others are building off the scenes we saw in the show and i thought this might help things a little more clear