…..

So, I really want to know how all of you feel about the newest episodes of the show. I've been private messaging back and forth with a few of you about it but as for the rest of you… how do you feel about it? Do you like Tani and Junior? How do you feel about Adam's role? Are you losing interest in the show like I've heard a lot of people say? I really want to know, so leave it in your review or send me a private message – I love talking to readers!

Thanks so much to all of you that have read, reviewed, favorited, followed, and private messaged. All of your support has been much appreciated and I'll never be able to tell you how much. I hope that you enjoy this newest chapter.

Happy Reading!

…..

Chapter Eleven: Afraid of What's to Come

Allie

The knock on my door made me jump, sending the pen flying across the paper. With my teeth ground in frustration, I stood and went to answer it. Medici stood on the other side, dressed in his typical suit and tie. As always, a guard stood just behind him.

"Good morning, Allie." Medici gave me a polite, yet cold, smile. "May I come in?"

"It's your suite," I said as I stepped aside to allow him to pass. I'd tried to remain polite for the first several weeks, but I'd since gotten fed up and acted with barely restrained hostility.

Medici and his guard entered, the guard taking up a position just inside the door, hands clasped in front of him. Medici continued into the living room and glanced at the papers spread out on the coffee table. "These don't look like museum heist plans."

"That's because they aren't." I slid into the small kitchen area and took out a bottle of water. "Those are my baby registry checklists and notes on the different products and such."

He turned to look at me, a cold smile on his face. "Well, you might want to do some research on the places that offer baby registries in France. Because at this pace, you'll have to deliver the baby here."

I gripped the water so tightly that the plastic crinkled. "Thank you for the suggestion. I'll take it under advisement." I took a long drink before I could say anything that I might regret. Medici was getting impatient, and it was probably best not to push him. For Trent's sake more than anything else.

"You haven't made any more progress, I take it?"

"I've been reviewing the footage that I got last time," I said. "The Kingsley Museum was remodeled to protect itself against every kind of attack that I would want to try. I have to come up with an entirely new con, which doesn't happen overnight. But I am working on it."

He waved a hand over all of the baby registry papers. "Yes, I can see that."

If I'd been holding a glass, it would have burst in my hand. "Everyone needs a break. If you work a problem too hard, there will be mistakes. That's what I'm doing. Then, when I go back to it later, I'll be fresh and much more likely to come up with a good idea."

He mulled that over for a few moments and then nodded. "I suppose I can see your point." He pointed to the papers. "Let me know what you'd like me to get you. Or send me the link to your registry. I can have it shipped to your house."

I didn't want a single thing from him, but I kept that to myself. "Thank you."

"Of course." He gave me a smile and then moved for the door. "Keep me updated."

"Will do."

Once he and the guard were gone, I threw the mangled water bottle in the trash and got a new one. I was at my wit's end with the museum heist, and I was really starting to feel the stress, which I knew wasn't good for the baby. That's why I had decided to take a break and get a head start on my baby registry. But that had turned out to be stressful as well.

Babies needed so much. Even the lists that I'd found on Pinterest that were supposed to be 'minimalist' baby registry checklists had at least thirty items on them. And then there were nursery themes to think about, which I couldn't do until I knew if it was a boy or a girl. Oh, and so many different strollers and car seats to choose from.

I sank down on the couch and, as I had started to do with increasing frequency, I talked to the baby. "You are going to be quite the spoiled child. I couldn't decide which swing to get, so I registered for the two most popular ones. And I wasn't sure which would be more entertaining – a bouncer or a rock n play – so I decided on both. And all of the nursery themes that I've come up with so far are pretty elaborate. But you know, you're the first baby. I want to go all out."

I'd bought – with Medici's credit card, because I intended to take full advantage – several pregnancy and childbirth books, as well as some books about living with a newborn/infant. I'd wanted to be prepared but, somehow, reading all of those books had made me feel even less prepared. There were so many decisions to make…

Hospital or home birth? Homemade baby food or store bought? Vaccines or no vaccines? Epidural or natural childbirth? Co-sleeping or bassinet? Breastfeeding or formula feeding? Disposable diapers or cloth diapers?

So many things to think about, and a lot of them were things that I needed to discuss with Steve. I wondered if he had bought any books in the subject, but decided that he probably hadn't. He was likely far too busy trying to locate Trent and come up with a plan to rescue me.

I would just have to fill him in on the flight back to Hawaii.

"The sooner I plan out this heist, the sooner I could go home," I told the baby. "But I'm not quite ready to go back to that yet. So, what do you say we spend a little more time picking out all of the gender-neutral stuff for the registries?"

When the baby stirred, I smiled. In moments like that, it was like the rest of the world melted away.

"Glad you agree," I said, and started writing.

Steve

"Hello?" I had stayed up far too late the night before texting with Allie, and it appeared that I'd slept in much later than usual. The only reason that I had even woken up was because my cell phone had started ringing and vibrating.

"Of course, Danny, I'll keep you updated," Danny said in a very poor imitation of me. "And by 'keep you updated', I mean that I'll call a couple of times and then go silent for a week and a half."

"It's too early in the morning to deal with your wit, Danny," I said as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Not here, it isn't," he replied. "And by my calculations, it's nearly noon there."

He was right, but I didn't admit it. "Was there something you wanted? How is it running Five-O?"

"Well, I'm doing a better job at it than you, so there's that. We haven't had a ton of cases, so we've mostly been helping out HPD and SWAT when we're needed. Chin and Kono send their love, by the way. I told them that I was going to be calling you today if I didn't hear from you first."

"I'm sorry that I've been so bad about keeping in touch." I got out of bed and headed for the closet to pick out my clothes for the day. "But I can update you now, if you want."

"No, no, I don't want an update." I'd known him long enough to know when he was being sarcastic. "I just called to tell you how incredible you are and how much I miss you."

"Right, so here's the update," I said, and started getting him up to speed. He interrupted a few times to ask me questions, but was otherwise silent (which was a first).

By the time that I had finished telling him everything, I was dressed and ready to head downstairs with everyone else.

"That's quite an adventure," Danny said. "How was it seeing Catherine again?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "It was fine. It's good. We're good."

"I mean, I just… you know… she left you when you were like two seconds away from proposing and now she's back to help you rescue your fiancée and… that just seems pretty crazy to me."

"There aren't still feelings there, if that's what you're asking," I told him. "I thought that maybe there would be, but when I saw her, I just felt the affection that you would for a friend. And I think that she feels the same way. She seems happy for me."

"I'm glad," he said sincerely. "That's better than the alternative. So, you got to see the ultrasound picture. How did it make you feel?"

"You're asking about my feelings now?" I teased him. "Who are you?"

"Ha, ha. Seriously. I remember when I first saw Grace on the screen. It was the most incredible feeling in the world."

I nodded. "That about sums it up, I think."

"Sometimes, I still have a hard time thinking of you as a father. But then I remember how unprepared I was for fatherhood, and I know that you'll be okay. It's all one big learning process. And honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I'm really excited to watch you go through it. It'll be the hardest and most rewarding thing you'll ever do."

I almost teared up. "Thanks, Danny. That really means a lot."

In a flash, he was back to his normal sarcastic self. "Yeah, that's why I said it. Look, you need to do a much better job at keeping us all in the loop, okay? We worry. Allie is our family, too."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I'll set reminders in my phone."

"Do that. And call Chin and Kono and update them as well."

I nodded. "Will do. Thanks for calling."

"Talk soon," he said and hung up.

I ate quickly and then checked on what everyone was up to on the Allie front. There really wasn't anything that I could do, so I went back up to my room and decided to get a head start on the baby front. I knew next to nothing about babies, and I wanted to be prepared for when mine arrived into the world.

Half an hour later, I was calling Danny.

When he answered, his voice was groggy and as cranky as I'd ever heard it. "Steven, this better be an emergency, because it's two thirty in the morning here."

I hadn't taken that into account, but I didn't apologize. "What's a bassinet?"

He was silent for so long that I almost thought I'd lost the connection, but then he spoke. "A bassinet? You're calling me at two thirty in the morning to ask me about a bassinet?"

I gestured to the article on the computer screen, even though he couldn't see it. "Yeah. This article about baby sleep safety says that the baby should be laid down on a firm surface, like a crib mattress or a safety approved bassinet. So, what's a bassinet? It sounds like basket. Is it a basket for babies?"

"Yes, Steve. It's a basket for babies." But sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"I'm serious, Danny. I've been reading these articles for half an hour and I still have no clue what I'm doing. I don't know how to change a diaper or swaddle or any of that stuff. What's BPA and why do I not want the baby's bottles to have it? Do I let the baby cry it out or not, because no one seems to agree on that topic? And also, why the hell are they suggesting getting a sling? Do they think I'm going to break the baby's arm or something? Should I have one around for a sort of… baby first aid kit? What else do I need in there?"

Before I could further make a fool of myself, Danny spoke. "Steve, hey. Calm down. All right? You're acting like there's gonna be some kind of test or something."

"No, not a test, but in six months there's going to be a baby living in my house and I just realized that I know way less than I thought I did. The test is that I have to keep a tiny human alive."

"They're way more resilient that you think." He yawned. "Look, raising a kid is just… it's something that you figure out as you go. Okay? I'm still learning. Every parent alive is still learning. You're not going to be perfect at it."

"Just answer my questions so that I can feel better."

He sighed. "Fine, fine. First question? The bassinet?"

"Yes," I affirmed.

"A bassinet is… it's… it's kind of like a miniature crib for littler babies. You can put it beside your bed and they can sleep there for ease of access in the middle of the night."

I was confused. "Why would I want to get to the baby in the middle of the night?"

After a very long pause, I heard barely contained laughter in his voice. "You're right. What was I even thinking? I didn't mean 'in the middle of the night'. I meant 'for peace of mind'. You and the baby can sleep peacefully all night long."

"Okay…" I felt like there was something he wasn't telling me, but I let it go. "Next question: changing a diaper."

"That's not a question."

"I wish that I could throw something at you," I muttered. "How do you change a diaper?"

"Very carefully," he quipped. "But seriously, the hospital should have some classes about how to take care of a newborn baby. Rachel and I took one before we had Grace and it was immensely helpful. They taught us how to change a diaper, swaddle, feed… all that good stuff. You should look into that and book a class."

I reached for the notepad and wrote that down. "Do they have classes about the whole… you know… birth process?"

"Yes, but they don't help. You might as well just throw your money out the window. The birth process is hell. Living, breathing hell. Just go in knowing that and you'll be fine. Oh, and also, let her throw stuff at you if she wants."

"Why would she want to throw stuff at me?" He wasn't making much sense.

"Because labor hurts, Steve," he said slowly, as if he was talking to a toddler.

"I know, but it can't be so bad that she'd want to throw something at me. Women do it all the time, right?"

"I wish that Allie could hear this right now." He laughed. "Anything else?"

I looked at the article on the screen and felt my chest grow tight. "There's so much to terrify you about having kids."

He grew serious once more. "Yes. And it never gets any less scary. But they are so, so worth it. You'll see."

I reached over to grab the ultrasound picture and stared at my growing baby. "Yeah… I can see that."

"Good. That's all you need. Now, please tell me that we're done here, because some of us actually have to go to work tomorrow and not laze about in Paris."

I smiled. Leave it to Danny to cheer me right up. "I think that's it for now. But if I have any other questions, I'll be sure to call."

"Google is a thing now, I hear."

"Good night, Danny."

He hung up without returning the farewell.

Feeling only slightly more confident, I went back to my research and wondered if Allie had started her own research yet. Then, I wondered how much she knew about babies. Had she been around them much? She didn't have any younger siblings, but perhaps she'd had friends with children.

However much exposure she'd had to children in the past, I knew that she was going to be a wonderful mother. She was patient, kind, loving, and fiercely protective – everything you could want in a mother. I could picture her making Christmas cookies and helping our child set them out for Santa. I imagined her excitedly planning the perfect first birthday party. I could see her tears of joy when our child said their first word or took their first step.

We weren't going to have everything figured out. But, together, we could do it.

A bit later, there was a knock on my door and I called for them to come in.

Kol entered, looking like he'd just woken up from a ten hour nap. "Haven't seen you all day."

"Probably because you've spent most of the day in bed."

He shrugged and moved closer, covering a yawn. "I took the overnight shift watching for any silent alarm triggers at the museum. I earned that time in bed. What have you been up to?" He gestured to the laptop and notepad on my bed. "Research on the box?"

"Research," I agreed and smiled. "But more on the topic of babies."

"Ah." He sank down in the chair near the desk. "Trying to get prepared before you have to take care of a living, tiny human."

"Precisely. And, apparently, they're a lot of work and they require a lot of equipment."

He laughed, much as Danny had. "Say supplies, not equipment. It sounds less… less like some kind of special op."

"Got it. Do you have a lot of experience with babies?"

He smiled slightly as he leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "I actually dated a woman with a four month old." When I raised an eyebrow, he continued. "We became friends before she was pregnant. She worked with me at the BAU. Anyway, she was dating this guy who didn't want to take responsibility for their baby, so they broke up. I was the one that was with her throughout the pregnancy and the newborn phase. We started dating after that."

"What happened?" I asked, noting that the smile had slowly faded from his face.

"She was diagnosed with breast cancer. Died a year later. I left the BAU after that." He said it without any emotion in his voice, but his expression told me that he'd been terribly broken up about it.

"I'm so sorry, Kol."

He tried to force a smile, but he couldn't quite fake it. "Thanks. She was a wonderful woman. I still visit her daughter sometimes. She lives in California with her grandparents and seems to be adjusting well."

I couldn't imagine what it would feel like as a parent to know that you were going to die and leave your child without you in this world. Nor did I ever want to have to imagine such a thing. I wanted to be there for my child for as long as it was possible. And I definitely didn't want to die before my child would have a chance at remembering me. Then again, what parent did?

"I'm glad. Do you visit much?"

He shrugged. "Whenever I get some time. I give them a bit of money every month to help take care of her. The grandmother is retired and the grandfather works in a factory. I help out where I can."

"Enough with all this depressing talk," I said and smiled to try and lighten the mood. "You came in here for a reason."

"Really just to say hi," he sighed. "I didn't get to see you today because I've been asleep. How is everything?"

"Fine. And don't tell anyone, but…" I reached over to grab the ultrasound picture and showed it to him with a proud smile. "Allie gave this to Catherine to deliver to me."

Kol smiled down at his niece or nephew. "You must be so happy."

"I really am," I confessed. "Which sounds strange when you think about the present situation. But I know that she'll pull this off and we'll go home and raise this baby together."

"My sister as a mother…" Kol shook his head as he handed the ultrasound back to me. "I just have a hard time picturing it. I'm sure that she'll do a great job at it; it's just that she never wanted kids."

"Well, we all know that things can change in a flash."

His expression grew grim. "Yes. That we know very, very well, unfortunately."