Chapter 12

Grass brushed under Shepard's boots as she threaded her way through the crowd. The Alliance Memorial Gardens teemed with Alliance uniforms grouping through the towering rows of stone slabs. Copper plaques glinted in the overcast light over the ocean. So many names in every direction.

"Commander."

James stood against the backside one of the monuments and gave her a droopy grin.

"James." Shepard strolled over to him.

Joker came up behind her on crutches. He stopped next to James and twisted his baseball cap in his hands. Voices greeted her, and Shepard turned to nod at Adams and Donnelly as they passed. Traynor broke off from them and shook Shepard hand with a flat expression.

"I hate these," Traynor said. "I didn't think we'd be back here so soon."

"Neither did I," Shepard said. "I shared a drink with her on the Normandy, talked. That was more of a good bye than these starchy things ever are."

"We should have a stiff drink to remember her," Traynor said. "I'm rooming near the dock holding the Normandy. Come by. I'll send you my room number."

As Traynor left, Joker huffed into Shepard's ear. "Hanson's working the yard. Said they're gutting her, Commander."

"They're replacing the elevator and doing some retrofitting. Don't get worked up," Shepard said.

Ceremonies like this weren't the real way to remember someone. Shepard's first funeral had been some solemn ceremony. When she had her second, people should just laugh and talk, enjoyed being together, no whispering and downcast faces.

"Long night, Commander Vega?" Shepard looked sideways at James.

James laughed as he stretched and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I guess, yeah."

"Oh, hey, Javik." Shepard snared Javik by the arm as he walked by.

Javik backstepped to face her. "Ah, it is you, Captain Commander. And others from the ship."

"First time I've seen you in months," Shepard said. "How you been?"

"I am mobbed wherever I go. It is a horrible thing."

"Hear ya," Shepard grinned.

"This I know. Commiseration was a common comfort among my people. I have noticed in yours as well."

"Then let's commiserate. You start."

James leaned across Shepard and held a palm out to Javik. "Remember the shake, Jav my Prothy friend?"

Javik thinned his lips and stared at the hand.

"Very well," he said finally.

They slipped hands and bumped fists.

"Are you pleased now?" Javik said.

"Highlight of the day."

"That has been a common reaction among the humans here. Highlight of a lifetime is more common."

James grinned. "Sorry, but gotta lot of highlights on that reel."

"No doubt." Javik turned back to Shepard. "Liara T'Soni explained to me that it is considered rude to not attend these ceremonies. That somehow looking at a picture of someone's name is a tribute. So, I have come."

"Dr. Chakwas would have like that, Javik," Shepard said.

"As she is no longer here that is irrelevant. To not appear rude in front of common acquaintances, I have come."

Joker let out a heavy breath of air. "Damn. That's cold, Javik. Why'd you even come?"

"I have already stated it, Joker Pilot. To avoid rudeness. However, I am late. So, I am rude nonetheless."

"Uh, right," Joker said turning to James to start their own conversation.

"You're not late, Javik," Shepard said. "The ceremony's still a few minutes off."

"I am late for the time I was told. I had to go to Dr. T'Soni's apartment since she did not come for me as agreed."

"Well, you're here now, Javik."

"As it would seem. Despite Dr. T'Soni and the male soldier's delay, I am here."

Shepard paused. "Male soldier?"

"The human from your ship. By not saying his name I displease Dr. T'Soni, which pleases me. I credit the male soldier's presence in her apartment for causing my lateness."

"You're not late," Shepard muttered absently scanning the crowd.

"I am late for the time that—"

"She gave you. Yes, I know."

Javik made a dissatisfied sound and looked around. "I go. A place in the back will allow a more orderly exit. Goodbye, Captain Commander."

He brushed past her. Shepard moved her head to see around a large block of people in the middle. There she was. Liara stood near the first monument in the row. Kaidan stood next to her.

James leaned in next to Shepard following her gaze. "Who you … Oh. Kaidan." James chuckled and shot a look at Joker. "Who gets to jump him first?"

"Uh, I like my bones not broken," Joker said.

"Wait for a dark alley then?"

"I think he needs to be asleep."

"Hmm, yeah." James grinned. "I already got the favor he owes me picked out."

"Damn, James," Joker said. "So quick? You gotta make him sweat."

Shepard frowned at them. "What did he do to you two?"

James snorted. His biceps bulged as he folded them across his chest. "Did L2 a favor and ended up collared by the turien Spectres."

Shepard cocked her head with an exaggerated frown. "And they didn't treat you nice, James? No cucumber water in the detention cell?"

"Ha. Right, Lola. But I'm owed one."

"And you, Joker? What's your tiff?"

"Uh ..."

"Go ahead. Tell her, Joker."

Shepard's eyes moved between them. "Yeah, Joker, do tell. Did the turien Spectres hurt your feelings, too?"

"Lola, have you met those Specs? Trust me. Ain't no fiesta, amiga."

"Well, Joker?" Shepard asked.

Joker wiped the back of a hand across his face and shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Planning to jump Kaidan in his sleep, but it doesn't matter?"

James grinned at Joker then laughed. "Hey, if you aren't going to say …"

"Fine," Joker said. "Kaidan used his freagin' biotics on me. Scared the crap outta me."

"Howled like a banshee," James laughed.

"It worked, didn't it? Drew their attention."

"Seemed pretty real, Joker."

"Uh, because it was."

Shepard shook her head with a smirk. "Okay, okay. When's this thing starting?"

"So, what's the favor?" Joker asked.

James's grin brimmed. "So last night, that hot chica was still out there dancing."

"The cute brunette?" Shepard said.

"Oh yeah," James said. "I think she's, like, Kaidan's cousin or something."

"What?" Shepard lifted her eyebrows. "You're joking?"

"I don't joke about hot chica's at bars, Lola."

"And now what? You want her contact info or something?"

"Well … yeah."

"It doesn't bother you she didn't give it to you herself?"

James shrugged. "She went off dancing with some guy before I got it. Didn't see her again."

"Maybe she has a boyfriend, James," Shepard said.

"Well, Lola, I can get all that info when I cash in my favor. Went to cash it in last night. Stopped by Kaidan's, you know, mess with him a little, but he was nowhere 'round. Just have to settle for some digits and the rundown."

Shepard paused. "You went to his room last night? After the club?"

"Thought I'd give him a hard time and get her info, you know. Might have had some bourbon helping me along."

"You even sure it's his cousin?" Joker asked.

"Uh, Rebecca Alenko. Come on. Ain't his sister. Gotta be a cousin or some sort of relative, right? It's Vancouver."

Shepard frowned at the ground. "At three A.M., he wasn't in his room?"

James looked sideways at Joker. "Probably about three, I dunno. But, uh, Lola … don't mean he wasn't there. Hell, maybe he just wasn't answering. Knew it was me."

An Alliance officer in ceremonial attire cleared his throat and drew turning heads. He walked three steps onto the raised stone in front of one of the monuments. People drew in tighter. Kaidan strolled alongside Liara as they followed the crowd. Miranda came up behind them and nodded across the crowd at Shepard. Kaidan caught the gesture and turned. He met Shepard's eye. A small smile spread across his face and he nodded at her.

"Doctor Karin Chakwas—" the officer started.

Shepard focused her attention forward. She wasn't here to mingle with friends. She'd be expected to say something. The crowd scooted aside as she took a spot near the front. Another service. Another name on a plaque. It'd never end.

XXX

People mingled around the garden after the service. Javik paced on the lawn just beyond the crowd, hand on his hips, trying to flag Liara. Shepard shook hands with Cortez, Briggs, Jensen, and a whole line of old Alliance friends. Jensen didn't say much with a haunted glint in her eye as they finally moved on. The throng thinned, and Shepard stepped onto the platform running in front of the monuments. She wandered along the lines of plaques to Dr. Chakwas's name. The brass wasn't weathered and shined brighter than the plaques around it. Shepard gave a slanted grin, bent, and touched the corner of it.

"Shepard."

Shepard's head whipped around. "Kaidan. Hey."

She straightened as Kaidan came up the steps.

"How you feeling?"

"Like new. Back to factory settings."

"Your biotics?"

"Did some more tests. Seem to be in working order. Spiked the same. Haven't taken down a horde of husks yet, so not field tested."

"Hard to scrounge up a horde of husks these days. Probably a good thing."

"Spoil sport. But I agree." Shepard folded her arms.

Kaidan's brown eyes watched her. He smiled but something still felt grim or off. He looked more rested, more vibrant though. The flash of metal buttons on his chest caught her eye.

"Your uniform … you're wearing it again."

"Uh, yeah." Kaidan glanced down. "Got a welcome back email saying I could wear it again long as I'm on my best behavior."

"An email?" Shepard's eyebrows drew together.

"No joke. An email. That, and an unofficial pep talk from Admiral Hackett in the hallway."

Shepard frowned. "That just seems …"

"Right?"

"Huh," Shepard said.

"Hey, L2." James ambled up to them then stopped. His eyes bounced between them as if realizing it was only the two of them talking. "Uh, actually, I can just …"

"What's up, James?" Kaidan turned to him.

"Am I interrupting?" James eyed Shepard.

Shepard rolled her lips together, but shook her head emphatically. She rested her back up against the cool stone of the monument.

"No," Kaidan said. "What's up?"

James shifted uncertainly. He looked at Shepard out of the corner of his eye then turned to Kaidan.

"Hey, does a Rebecca Alenko mean anything to you?"

Kaidan eyed James before answering. "Becca … yeah."

"Familia or something?"

"Cousin."

"Cousin? Huh." James shot Shepard a triumphant grin before focusing back on Kaidan. "So, uh, about this favor you owe me …"

Kaidan's face tightened. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes." James rolled onto the balls of his feet and down. "Give me the rundown and how 'bout some digits?"

"You're serious?"

"Totally. Met last night at the club. Kinda got separated before we exchanged any info."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. "Just kinda got separated before exchanging any info?"

"You owe me one, L2. Taccus lead me 'round by a leash for a week."

Kaidan's mouth twitched. He ran a hand along his jaw and looked off as the lifted slightly. James crossed his arms and cocked his head.

"Really, L2? Funny? Really?"

Kaidan grinned openly. "Come on. If I have to give you a favor, I get to think it's funny."

"You haven't given me that favor yet."

"True." Kaidan backed up and leaned against the granite next to Shepard. "I don't know, James. Kind of a big favor. Could end up related."

James stared blankly at Kaidan. "L2, like, seriously. We are not talking wedding bells here. You really don't get this whole 'living in the moment' thing."

Kaidan shrugged and tilted his head as if considering. "Okay, James. How about I send her your info? If she's interested, she'll contact you."

"What? You afraid I can't take 'no' for answer or something?"

Kaidan thinned his eyes at James who starred back levelly. Shepard smirked and shifted against the monument as she looked between them.

"Fine," Kaidan said. He brought up wrist, Omni-Tool glowing, and punched something in. "I'm done matchmaking my cousins though. There."

"That a regular gig for you, Kaidan?" Shepard asked.

He glanced at her. "Yeah, well, I'm doing you a favor too, Shepard. Becca's brother is a big fan."

"Really?" Shepard twisted sideways against the stone to face him. "Vega's good enough for the family, but I'm not?"

James's teeth peeked out of a grin as he looked at him Omni-Tool. "Got it."

"We're square?" Kaidan asked.

"Well, assuming it's actually a working number then … yeah."

James smiled backing up and trotted away.

"So …" Shepard said.

Kaidan glanced sideways at her. "Sure, Shepard. I'll set you up next. Just don't forget your credit chip, because he will. Guaranteed."

"I'm not above paying."

"Good, then you're both on the same page. And, at the end of the night, don't be surprised when he's dropping you off, if he doesn't suddenly needs to use the bathroom or his Omni-Tool's acts up. He needs to use your terminal."

"Both legitimate reasons to be let in."

Kaidan looked away and shrugged. "I was wrong. Sounds like you're perfect for each other then."

"James and I could be in-laws."

"Shepard," Kaidan tsked. "Live in the moment."

"Got excited," she grinned at him. "You really sell these matches."

"Uh, yeah." Kaidan turned sideways to face her. "Sell themselves really. But since I set you up, maybe you owe me a favor now?"

"I haven't gotten any contact information yet, Kaidan."

"Thought it would be more fun to give him yours."

Shepard ducked her head with a grin. She turned a serious expression back to him.

"Efficient thinking, Major."

"Satisfaction guarantee."

"That's why I went with you instead of asking James about his cousins."

"I thought maybe you and James were trying to get in on the BOGO sale."

"The Twenty-Four Hour Alenko Cousin Sale?"

"You saw the ads."

Shepard smiled at him. They faced each other shoulders resting against the granite. Three rows of bronze plaques stretched between them. Shepard glanced around the garden. Not many people were left milling around the lawn. Liara and Javik must have already left. A raindrop hit her forehead. She re-settled her shoulder against the stone and met Kaidan's eyes.

"So, what kind of favor did you have in mind?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan's brows pinched as his eyes rolled up to the sky. He held out a palm. Another drop hit Shepard's scalp. Dark flecks speckled lightly across the stone at their feet. Officers Shepard didn't recognize huddled together as they left the garden. Kaidan looked down at her and tucked his hands under his arms.

"Favor … yeah," he said. "I'm hoping you can fill in some blanks."

"Some blanks?"

"Did someone warn you to stay away from the Summit?"

Shepard frowned. "What?"

"An asari? In a bar?"

Shepard tilted her head. "What? How do you know about that? It was nothing."

"You followed her outside. She said something about S. Summit. A different date, time, place. Do you remember what she said?"

Thunder churned overhead, a low, slow rumble. Rain tapped down faster. The stone at their feet was staining into one solid color. Waves roared in the distance beyond the garden cliffs. A gust tinged with ocean spray blew down the row of monuments. It hit her face lifting the hair off her neck.

"We should go in." Kaidan stood away from the monument and twisted to see the ocean cliffs.

Shepard took a step toward Kaidan. Blue glowed across the edges of her vision. Kaidan's head snapped back and his eyes widened as a blue shield expanded out from her hand. It extended behind her and stretched forward. Kaidan looked up as it passed over his head. The rush of wind and rumble of thunder muted as the blue veil surrounded them like a bubble. Rain tapped on the shield above and streamed down the sides. The steady force of rain and wind reverberated up her arm like a spider on its web.

Kaidan gazed around them in the iridescence. The empty garden seemed hazed and distant through the blue veil. Kaidan caught her eye. A grin spread across his face, and he flared blue reaching a hand out beside hers. His fingertips grazed the shield, and it rippled as energy pushed out. The familiar tingle of his biotics twisted and wrapped through hers. It wove in and out like threads through a knitted pattern tinting the shield cobalt. A weight eased in her core, and her breath lightened as his thread tightened and hardened into her shield. Shepard glanced up at the beating rain.

"Not quite weapon fire," Shepard said.

"Start with bullets, and your umbrellas are going to be amazing."

"This is way better than an umbrella, Kaidan."

"Biotic umbrella, but fine, I'm impressed. Good idea."

"That's all I was looking for."

Kaidan shifted on his feet and gazed around them. Each flexion of fingers echoed through the energy field and tingled on her fingertips. Their eyes met, and he looked away.

"Shepard, about that asari …"

"Oh," Shepard said. "What I overheard …"

Kaidan looked off through the shield and nodded. "Right."

"Well." Shepard scrunched her brow in thought for a moment. "She said an earlier day than the Summit is really starts. I think …"

Shepard rolled it over in her mind again. It hadn't been the day right before, that would have been more understandable, but it had been close to the opening day.

"It was two days before," Shepard said, "and at nighttime. I don't remember when, but the evening. Why would you ever think the first day would open in the evening?"

"And where?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard hung her head thinking. "Uh … gray stadium or arena or something like that, I think. It didn't make sense."

"Gray stadium or arena?" Kaidan echoed looking off as his fingers tapped ripples through the shield. "Does that mean anything to you?"

"No," Shepard said then sighed. "What's going on, Kaidan?"

His eyes flicked to hers. "A Terra Firma attack on the Summit. You've heard of it?"

"Some," Shepard said vaguely.

"The major players are gathering before the Summit. There's a rumor they'll meet to give out final orders, coordinate a major strike. That's what I wonder if you overheard."

Shepard studied his face. "Why would you think that? It was random. Drunk talk most likely."

"Diana Allers referred to the meeting as the Spider Summit. You heard 'S. Summit.'"

"It seemed like a stutter."

"What if it wasn't?"

Shepard considered him quietly.

"Tell me what you know," she said.

Kaidan nodded. The wind eased up against the shield and the rain softened. Kaidan told her what he'd found on Terra Firma while in Prague and over the last month. Shepard's frown deepened as she listened. The shield flickered around them.

"What about this Scorpion?"

"I think whoever it is will be at the Summit during the opening ceremony, and if there's nothing to alarm him, he'll make some public spectacle."

"The Scorpion wanted me alive and transferred over? Why?" Shepard asked but Kaidan shrugged and shook his head. "And the Blue Suns as targets - why? And why leave Earth?"

"I don't know."

"The Normandy's fitted with the quarian's flotilla technology, must be why they wanted her." Shepard studied the stone drying at her feet. "And the incendiary devices, the nuke? If they have the Mass Shard and built whatever that weapon was in the blueprints …"

Kaidan stood silently for a moment. "Shepard. There are Alliance ties. Hackett's worried about someone on the inside."

Shepard stared at him. "We need to find that meeting."

"Exactly."

"The Summit's days away."

Kaidan's face set as he looked back at her. He knew. They both knew. The sprinkle was letting up. She could hardly feel it through the shield. The sky was gray and dark but there weren't any flashes. Shepard pulled her hand back from the shield and let it drop. The blue shimmer faded as Kaidan drew back too. The outdoors rushed over them again - the moist air, roar of wind, smell of grass and damp stone, a faint prickle of stray droplets. Like finding a seat after standing all day, the relief of dropping the shield washed over her. She could see it in Kaidan's eyes too. It was nothing like a battle against ballistics, but it was enough of a light sprint to feel the hint of relief in letting it go. The dim light of the sun through the clouds squinted over the ocean's horizon. Kaidan followed her gaze over his shoulder to the ocean.

"Sometimes I come here," he said. "Helps me to think seeing the names. Remember. Watch the ocean."

Shepard's eyes flickered to his profile and studied the curve of his jaw. He turned back to her and let out a long breath.

"Glad you're better, Shepard," he said. "Good to catch up."

Shepard stretched a smile. "Of course."

He touched the side of her arm as he passed. "Take care, Shepard."

Shepard turned. "Kaidan."

He slowed in the grass and turned back to her. Shepard looked over at the monument. Karin Chakwas's name stared back at her.

"Dr. Chakwas – do you think she'd rather have died in the fighting reapers in the war?"

Kaidan regarded her silently for a moment before slowly walking back.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Shepard sighed. "She fought Saren, the Collectors, the Reapers. Came through it all. She got through everything then died here for this."

Kaidan stepped back onto the stone platform beside her. "For nothing you mean?"

Shepard looked over at him and held his eyes. "It's so pointless. Not meaningless, just pointless. In a way." She turned back to the plaque.

Kaidan folded his arms and faced the plaque beside her. "They didn't die in vain, Shepard."

She didn't say anything.

"Shepard," he said. "You, the crew that lived, the crew that died - you stopped Terra Firma from controlling the Normandy. If Terra Firma had the Normandy now … we know the destruction and death they planned."

"If that had been uncovered, dealt with before they struck though. I knew something was wrong, Kaidan. I just couldn't figure out what, not in time."

"And what if you had?" Kaidan shrugged and turned to her. "Yes, Dr. Chakwas would be alive, the rest of the crew, but so far, the biggest break on the Summit attack has come from decoding Anchor's messages. If the Normandy attack was diffused, Anchor and the rest of the infiltrators tossed in the brig, everyone would be focused on preparing for the Summit. Maybe those messages wouldn't have been decoded in time to do anything. We'd just have some vague suspicion that the Summit would make a good target if Terra Firma was looking for one. We wouldn't know anything concrete or even know what to be looking for. I'd be in Tokyo. Anything I've found, I wouldn't have been here to find it. So, yes, they'd be alive," he turned back to the plaque, "but because they're not, maybe many others that were meant to die, won't. Imagine if this attack works, Shepard. Everything we've gained from the war - the potential, the alliances, cooperation, the ability to rebuild - it could be lost. Dr. Chakwas survived the galaxy being destroyed by reapers, but by her sacrifice now, maybe she saves the galaxy from destroying itself."

Chakwas's name shinned back at Shepherd. She looked sideways at Kaidan, but he stared straight ahead at the plaque. He glanced over at her and gave a small smile. Then he backed up and left. Her eyes followed him until he was out of sight. She turned back to the monument. Droplets beading the nameplate. A smile crested her lips remembering the pressure ease in her core as the other threads reinforced into her shield. A tightness she'd been carrying in her chest loosened. She brushed the droplets off the plaque and stood back. For the first time staring at the letters made her feel more pride than guilt.