I do not own Dirty Dancing.
Chapter Fifty
POV Marje
Empathy
Of all the things I had expected to happen at Kellerman's, this was the last thing I had thought might happen. I had hoped Jake and Lisa would become closer, and they had. I had thought Lisa would find a boy, and she had. I had hoped Baby would find one, and she did. Just not the type of boy I would have expected. I hadn't expected for a wedge to be driven between Jake and my Daughter. I hadn't expected Baby to start a relationship with a Dance Instructor, of all people.
But I could relate. I knew what it was like to lose love, from when Gabriel left me. I knew that Baby was in love with this Johnny character. So much in love that she'd given up their relationship to help him, despite his wanting to keep it secret, even if it meant losing his job. And it hadn't helped anything. He had been fired anyway. Johnny left this afternoon.
And so, Baby was heartbroken. I could see it in every movement she made. I could see it in the way she leaned against the porch railing of our cabin. I could see it in her eyes, could see them searching for something that wasn't there. Most of all, I could see it in the way her eyes glossed over, not seeing the landscape at Kellerman's, but seeing Johnny. Seeing the man she had fallen in love with. I had done exactly the same thing when Gabriel left.
I walked over. Dismissively, she said, "Ma, please. You don't understand,"
"No, Baby. You don't," I tell her. I remembered the pain I'd felt when Gabriel left. I remembered it like yesterday. Baby rolled her eyes, but I keep talking. "I know about this. I really know," I tell her, thinking that maybe she will start listening, but she doesn't. In fact, she seemed to be putting more effort into ignoring me. "When I was your age," I began, still a little reserved about telling her this. But it didn't matter now, because she needed to hear this. "I was in love with someone else before your Father. And when it ended, it hurt so bad, I thought I'd die of it. But I didn't. And I didn't wreck everyone else's lives in the process either,"
"I'm not wrecking people's lives," Baby stated coldly. The pain of heartbreak was numbing to the things around you. You didn't think about your family. All you could feel was your own misery. I knew it all too well.
"Yes, you are," I argue. "You're Father is disappointed in you, and Lisa is positively miserable!"
"Dad is disappointed because I fell in love with someone who wasn't up to his standards," Baby commented angrily. "I told him that I wasn't proud of myself, and by that I meant the way I lied to him. Not my relationship with Johnny. And for your information, Lisa is miserable! You know why? You haven't seen her and Robbie hanging around, lately, have you. Wonder why? Lisa caught him having sex with Vivian Pressman," I say. I feel my eyebrows raise into my hair. Vivian Pressman? Robbie cheated on Lisa with a woman who was old enough to be his Mother? "Yeah," Baby spat vehemently. "He broke her heart. Now we both know how it feels."
Before I have the chance to speak, my Daughter continued with her rant. "You know, the ironic thing, is Lisa falls for a guy who has everything, and people are shocked when he breaks her heart. No one can see how awful he is, because they're blinded by the money, and Medical School, and the charm. But here I am, in love with a Dancer who has almost nothing. Everyone thinks he's awful simply because he's poor, and angry at the world for the things it does. And my heart got broken," She said in a bitter voice. "Not because he was unfaithful, but because he was fired for loving me. Because Mr. Kellerman can't let someone who isn't a Waiter date the guests, because he wasn't good enough for anybody but me."
My head thinks that there are several people who would disagree with that but my heart knows that wasn't what she meant. Baby meant that she was the only one who accepted him for who he was. Who didn't think he needed to change or try to be better. Her words sting. She was right.
"Mom, you don't know how it feels," She told me. "Not unless the person you loved was poor, and none of your family accepted him because of that. You can't know unless you didn't want to leave each other, but were forced to," For a brief moment, she seemed to forget how mad she was at us all. "What did happen?" She asks.
I release a sigh, remembering my time with Gabriel. It had been wonderful, with all the bliss people had in a new relationship. I had been head over heels in love with him. And I had thought he felt the same. But he didn't. It had all been a fun pass time for him until he found someone he really wanted. Without emotion, I try to illustrate our time together as best I can. "He got a better offer," I say. "I gave my heart to him, and he threw it away. He found someone prettier, with more money, and dumped me."
Baby spoke. "In that case, you should talk to Lisa. That's her problem. I have to live with knowing that he was fired because of me. Of knowing that I never once told him I loved him. You might know what lost love feels like, Mom. But not like this. They were completely different circumstances."
I shut my eyes. Now that she explained, I was hating myself for trying to compare the two. When I was Baby's age, if someone had tried to tell me the same thing about Gabriel, I would've been worse. Much worse. And where Gabriel had never really cared about me, that wasn't true for Johnny. Johnny had been presented with the choice of his job or protecting Baby. And he had chosen her. For him to do that, he needed to care about her more than he cared about himself.
Baby had admitted that she loved him. And I knew that weight of not telling him how she felt was something she would regret for a long time. She might never truly get over it.
But what stung more, was the thought that the feelings were mutual. That while Baby was here lamenting her broken relationship, about two hours down the road, Johnny was doing the same.