Chapter 9
To Everything a Season
"Olivia, you've made tremendous progress since the explosion. You haven't had nightmares for three weeks. It's been about two months. Your feelings of anxiety are normal, especially now that you are planning a wedding," said Dr. Edison Davis.
Dr. Davis was Olivia's psychiatrist. He was a member of The Organization so she was able to be candid with him about everything. Literally, after the dust had settled on the explosion-Ivan and Nate had been apprehended-Olivia had an emotional breakdown. Unable to sleep, eat, or take care of the twins, Fitz had sought council from his parents. They suggested Edison Davis, an expert in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a member of The Organization.
"For the first time in…two years, my life feels almost normal. I went from running a major presidential campaign, to the Defiance debacle, all while having an on again off again affair with Fitz. Then I started OPA, the affair came out, I got pregnant with twins, I moved to Atlanta, I was kidnapped…"
"Yes, Olivia. I know that is the CNN version of things. Let's not take it all at once. Therapy is a process, not a destination we have to rush to. Let's focus on what else might be causing your anxiety. We will take it little by little. I can prescribe something unless you are still against taking anti-anxiety meds from the first time." Edison pulled out his prescription pad.
"No, I'd rather not deal with the side effects. I am already tired all the time as it is. I don't know if I'm coming down with something or if my body is attempting to catch up on all the sleep I've missed."
"Okay, how about this? We should increase our sessions to twice a week. We can add Fridays…so Mondays and Fridays at 11? You should see your family doctor about your lethargy."
"That is great. I am due for a physical soon. I'll address it with my doctor. It's probably an iron deficiency or something." Olivia stood and shook his hand.
"Just let Wendy know about our additional session as you leave, and she'll update the schedule. So when's the big date?" he asked.
"September 15. I love the fall. I have about 7 months to plan everything."
"I'll see you Friday." Edison walked her out to the waiting room and called in his next client.
Olivia dialed Fitz.
"Hello, Mrs. Grant." he said.
"I love the sound of that, and I love being married to you even if no one else knows yet. Let's keep it that way, okay. It will spoil the excitement of the wedding, Mr. Grant. Our guests shouldn't be robbed of any of the surprise just because you couldn't wait until September." Olivia's eyes met Tom's in the rearview mirror from where she sat in the back seat and then she remembered as he gave her a knowing smile.
"Well, Tom has been robbed of the surprise. He sacrificed it to drive us and be our witness."
"As you know, most of the general public already thinks we are married. Don't you read the tabloids? Are you headed home, honey?" Fitz hugged Mildred who had just arrived at their house. "Hi Mildred, oh I can't wait to taste the dessert."
Olivia listened to what she could hear of their exchange from her end of the line. It was amazing how close they had gotten since that fateful day when her mother shot Nate. It was as if all the animosity had never existed.
"Your mom's here," said Fitz. "She made me a pumpkin torte."
Olivia rolled her eyes. "Why is Mommy there so early? Dinner isn't until 5."
"She is helping me cook for the dinner tonight," said Fitz in between his conversation with her mother.
"How can this be your dinner if you're getting help, baby? I am stopping by Harrison's apartment. I want to see why he isn't coming tonight." Olivia yawned.
"Don't stay out too long. You sound like you need a nap."
They finished their conversation and disconnected.
"Was that Olivia, dear? Is she headed home?" Mildred was maneuvering deftly around the kitchen as if she was going to cook.
"Not quite. She is stopping by Harrison's first. What can I do to help, Mildred? I am supposed to be doing everything." Mildred shooed him out of the way.
"Why don't you have a bite of that torte and enjoy your day off. I'll take care of everything in here. Oh, and Fitz, dear, I am not trying to interfere, but Olivia should stay away from Harrison after what his brother did. I know he wasn't at fault, but it just isn't right. I think she has been through enough and there is more to come," Mildred said.
"What do you mean, 'there is more to come?" Fitz's sunny disposition flipped.
"I'm not a doctor or anything, but I know Olivia is expecting." Mildred pursed her lips and pulled on an apron.
"No…That isn't possible. She's taking birth control pills. Did she tell you this?"
"She was on the pill when little Annie and Arthur were conceived. To be honest, Fitz, she's never been good at taking pills daily. She used to forget to take her vitamins all the time when she was a kid. She gets consumed with whatever she is focused on. If you haven't witnessed her take the pill every morning then I am sure she has forgotten more often than not. Now, unless…something hasn't been… happening… that would make a pregnancy possible, if you know what I mean, my baby is pregnant. Think about it Fitz, she is tired all the time. I did see her throw up when she was at the house this past weekend. She swore that it was some bad yogurt. "
Mildred chopped three potatoes with incredible skill. Fitz thought about how tired she had been. How she recently started hating the smell and taste of red beans and rice, like when she was carrying Annie and Arthur. Their sex life was a vibrant as always, but he thought back to the night before the explosion. "It's possible. This would be the perfect wedding gift."
"That's why you two just need to go to the justice of the peace as soon as possible. If you ask me, a wedding is just too much," Mildred said.
"Please don't tell Livy I told you this, but we did that. We got married a couple of days after the explosion. No one knows but Tom. She wanted to wait, but I insisted. I want her to have the wedding she deserves, but a pregnancy will make it interesting. I think I need to celebrate by eating a piece of torte" Fitz pulled the torte from the refrigerator.
"Fitz, dear, I am honored that you would share a secret like that with me. I appreciate you trusting me. Please know you can trust me with anything. I know that you and Olivia are keeping something else. Who are Michael and Anne Avenir and what is their connection to you and that awful man, Ivan, who kidnapped Olivia? Don't lie to me Fitz." Mildred stood there waiting for an answer.
"Harrison, why are you avoiding me? Since the explosion, I haven't seen you. When I come to the office, you always find a reason to leave? What's wrong?" Olivia sat across from him at the kitchen table pleading for answer. He wouldn't look her in the eye.
"Nothing is wrong. I am…I am thinking about leaving OPA. I want to move back to DC."
"Why? I know I haven't been the best leader of OPA since before Stephen left. My personal life has been such a distraction. Then I moved to Atlanta, had the twins, was kidnapped once and then almost twice. Harrison, things are going to get normal. The twins are getting easier to handle…Harrison, what is really wrong?" Olivia reached for his hand.
"I can't be around you anymore after what my brother did to you. You are like a sister to me. I couldn't have lived with myself if anything happened to you. It is because of me that Nate came back into your life." He finally looked fully at Olivia. He was fighting back tears.
"Oh Harrison! How could you think that! Have you been carrying this around these last two months?" Olivia brushed away his tears. "You are my family. I am sorry for not…I should have known you would blame yourself. You are so gallant and chivalrous…Harrison, no…listen, I should be apologizing to you, Abby, and Huck. I have been so wrapped up in my stuff. You all have been so loyal to me. This isn't your fault. Fitz found out that Cyrus Beene tricked Nate into coming do DC. Nate was under the illusion that Cyrus would help him win me back. When Nate moved to DC, Cyrus coerced him into trying to break up Fitz and me. Then Fitz made Nate leave the country and that is when he met Ivan. I don't know what happened to Nate, but I know that none of this is your fault. Nate made a choice to do those things. Please don't leave…" They held each other for awhile.
"Is everything okay, guys?" Abby walked into the small kitchen. They didn't hear her open nor enter the front door. "Are you all crying, what has happened now?"
"Nothing. There's just a lot of healing going on. Group hug…well almost since Huck isn't here…as if he would hug us anyway." Abby walked over and joined the hug.
"I have news. Producers from Oprah's Next Chapter at OWN, Good Morning America, The Today Show to name a few have called the office to solicit interviews from you and Fitz. There are also a number of magazines that have called too," Abby said.
"I'll talk to Fitz about it. I don't want to open the kids to more scrutiny especially when they are still so isolated from Mellie," Olivia said. She walked to the couch.
"We need to keep the babies from that bitch!" Abby sat down beside Olivia.
"Abby, Olivia, I am going to shower and change. Thanks, Liv." Harrison left the room.
"Liv, you don't look so good. Are you okay?" Abby placed her hand on Olivia's brow and the sides of her face. "You feel kind of cold."
"I'm fine. I just need a na…na…" Olivia mumbled before falling back on the couch and losing consciousness.
Mildred had grossly misjudged Fitz. He had not fit into her framework of human behavior. At 64, she had lived enough to know how the world worked. Married, philandering men didn't divorce their wives to marry their mistresses. The President of the United States certainly didn't leave his wife to be with his mistress. Naturally, a white president would not leave his white wife to marry his black mistress.
The scenarios that quickly became her daughter's lived experience were layer upon layer of absurdity in Mildred's mind. With each step they took-the resignation, the pregnancy, moving to Atlanta, the engagement, the kidnapping, the explosion-Mildred had to readjust her framework. As she looked back now, the one constant was Fitz's love for Olivia. Mildred couldn't see it then. All she saw was a man taking advantage of her daughter. Fitz always held the role of the bad guy until that fateful day when Nate had gone mad.
Mildred would never forget that day. She had called Olivia to let her know of her plans to visit the twins. Diane had answered the phone and informed her that Olivia wasn't there. She wasn't sure when she'd be home. When Mildred inquired about Olivia's whereabouts, Diane was excited to report that she had spent the entire night with Fitz at the cottage. Mildred knew that Diane delighted in relaying this news because unlike Mildred, Diane adored Fitz and wanted him and Olivia to be together.
Diane and Mildred had not gotten along for years, and they were always trying to "one up" the other one. These sour feelings were held over from old hurts. Diane thought Mildred mistreated her brother before he had died. Mildred's relationship with Diane, at one time a trusted sister-in-law, was a casualty of the war that ensued during Mildred's divorce from Diane's brother. So, when Diane gleeful reported about Olivia's whereabouts, Mildred responded in mock glee, "That's wonderful. Have her call me when she gets home!" Then she had hung up the phone just before she saw Nate walk around the corner.
His presence startled her. She let out a scream. "Oh, Nate! You scared me! What are you doing here? I really need my key back since you aren't staying here anymore."
"Today is the day, Mildred," he said ignoring her surprise.
"What day is that?" Mildred asked looking at Nate in a new light, remembering Olivia's warnings about him. It was like he really didn't see her.
"The day we've both been planning and waiting for. Grant will finally be out of Olivia's life, all our lives for good." Nate walked over to the window and looked outside.
Mildred still didn't understand what he meant. "I think it's time we both accepted that Olivia and Fitz are going to be together. They have the twins. They are engaged. I just hung up with Diane and she said they are back together. Olivia was with him at the cottage last night. Nate, I have always thought of you like a son. I just knew you and Olivia would find your way back to each other even after your broken engagement, but it is not meant to be. We have to move forward."
Nate turned and glared at Mildred, a tortured look on his face. "Move on? Move…on? You sound like Harrison. Do you doubt me too? I should have never let her break off our engagement. We would be married now, probably with kids of our own. She would have never met Grant. I am not going to make that mistake again."
"Maybe you two just weren't meant to be together. If something like a job could break you two up, maybe it just wasn't supposed to be. You knew she didn't want you to take that job, but you took it anyway. Maybe there was a part of you that wasn't ready to get married…didn't love her enough. I don't know, Nate. Fitz did resign from being President of the United States for her. That puts things into perspective when you…"
"Shut the fuck up, Mildred! You always did run that mouth of yours too damn much!" screamed Nate. He raged at her.
"You can't talk to me like that! You need to leave my house now. Give me my key!" Mildred extended her hand to him.
"I am not going anywhere. For months now, you have been on my side. Now you are on his side. When Grant is blown to bits, and I have to rescue Olivia once again from his brother, Ivan, I bet you will change your tune. It is going to happen this morning. I cannot wait!"
Mildred's hand flew to her mouth in shock. She started pacing back and forth. "What have you done? What are you talking about?"
"You have made it clear that you aren't on my side any longer. I am not telling you anything. Maybe I need to get rid of you too!"
Mildred froze at his words. She was facing away from him. The room was totally silent and thick with tension. Mildred felt a deep sense of dread at his words. She took his threat seriously and immediately sprung into action. She was already facing the stairs so she ran up the length of them, taking two at a time, towards her bedroom where she kept her weapon, a gun that had belonged to Olivia's father. She could hear Nate behind her so she purposefully knocked over her fern that was planted in a large porcelain planter on the stairs. He tripped, giving her enough time to reach her bedroom for refuge. She turned the lock. Adrenaline pumping, she sprinted to her walk in closet and pulled down the wooden box from the top shelf. Using the key taped, she unlocked it and pulled out the gun. It was cold and heavy in her hands. She released the safety as she heard Nate busting through her locked, bedroom door. Mildred hadn't been to the shooting range in over a year, but she knew that the gun was loaded and she was ready to turn and shoot.
"Nate leave now. I have a gun. I will shoot." Mildred warned from the closet. It was so quiet in the house. She heard his footsteps getting closer.
"I really believe that. Olivia hates guns and she said you do too." Nate chuckled as he stepped inside the closet.
"This is my last warning! Please just leave." Mildred started to sob and her hands shook slightly as she gripped the gun.
His footsteps drew nearer and Mildred knew what she had to do to save her life. She aimed towards his legs, hoping to wound him. She squeezed hard firing three shots. When he fell to the ground, Mildred stepped around him and ran to her cell phone that was on the charger by the bed. Looking back at Nate, she saw blood pooling around his waist. She sat on the bed to catch her breath, pushing the gun under her pillow. The first person she thought to call was not Olivia nor was it the authorities. She called Fitz.
Now, she sat here almost two months later trying to put the pieces together. She needed the answers from Fitz. Perhaps then, she could overcome all her guilt. She felt partly responsible for Nate's irrational behavior. If she hadn't encouraged him, maybe he wouldn't have developed an obsession for Olivia. Now, he sat paralyzed and incarcerated in some facility Mildred couldn't visit. She didn't understand why he wasn't allowed visitors or why there wasn't some sort of formal investigation. There were so many things she was confident she didn't know and she knew that Fitz held the answers.
Fitz looked at her and opened his mouth to speak when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket.
"Hello?"
Mildred witnessed his expression go from inquisitive to frightened. She only heard his side of the conversation.
"What happened? When? Is she okay? Where? I'm on my way."
Mildred knew it had to be Olivia. "It's Olivia, isn't it? What happened?"
Fitz jumped up from the stool at the kitchen counter and rushed to the door. "Mildred, I need you to watch Annie and Arthur. Olivia fainted or collapsed, I'm not sure… at Harrison's apartment. Tom, Abby, and Harrison are on the way to the hospital with her now. She won't wake up. Don't tell Karen or Gerry when they come home until you hear from me. I'll call you."
"Fitz…It will be okay. The worst that's in your future is more baby-filled sleepless nights and dirty diapers."
"Mildred, I hope you're right."
"This can't be true," Olivia said as she laid back on the bed feeling the cool gel on her abdomen as Dr. Olivera guided the transducer over her lower abdomen in search of a heartbeat. Even as she said the words she knew it was true. Her body had been giving her signals for a couple of weeks now, signals that were very familiar considering that she had given birth just over 5 months ago.
Fitz held her hand but his attention was on Dr. Olivera who had already identified the reason for Olivia's fainting. Her iron levels had dropped perilously low and she was dehydrated. A blood and urine test confirmed the pregnancy. Dr. Olivera estimated that she was about 8 weeks along.
"There it is, Mrs. Grant, do you hear that heartbeat? Are you convinced now?" Dr. Olivera turned up the volume so they could hear the swishing sound.
"I wasn't doubting you. I am in shock. The twins are only 5 months old." Olivia felt Fitz squeeze her hand.
"What form of birth control were you using?" Dr. Olivera asked.
"Breastfeeding…and abstinence…sometimes." Olivia thought about their separation and the times they hadn't been intimate.
"Excessive breastfeeding can be 98% effective, but the key word is excessive. You have to do it every four hours every single day for 6 months. The baby cannot have any other form of food for the duration. Mrs. Grant this would be difficult with twins. And how can you be abstinent…sometimes? Abstinence as a form of birth control has to be all the time if you want to prevent pregnancy. Nature will find a way. If you think back to about two months ago, that is your date of conception," Dr. Olivera shut off the ultrasound machine.
Fitz and Olivia looked at each other. He leaned down and whispered, "The cottage, the night before the explosion, when you seduced me…" Then he kissed her on the forehead.
"You seduced me right back so…" Olivia whispered back.
"I guess it is not as important when conception happened. We recommend that women wait 18 months after a pregnancy before conceiving again to give the body time to heal. Mrs. Grant, I think you will be fine if you take care of yourself. I've prescribed prenatal vitamins and iron pills. You know the drill as far as diet goes. Mr. Grant, I am depending you to make sure she follows doctor's orders."
"I will," he said, winking at Olivia.
"Okay, Mrs. Grant. I am going to keep you for observation for another hour or so and then I'll discharge you to go home."
"Thanks, Dr. Olivera." Olivia said before taking a sip of water from her standard issue, Pepto-Bismal colored pink cup.
"Honey, how are taking all this?" Fitz said. He kissed her forehead. "I know you had your heart set on a big wedding, but maybe we should just cater a party to celebrate that we are already married."
"I am still letting it all sink in. I was just telling Harrison that I was going to be more involved at OPA, but that is laughable now." Olivia lay back on the bed and covered her eyes with her forearm.
"Your mother sure hit the nail on the head. She already knew you were pregnant."
"Really?" Olivia said before hearing a knock on the door. Abby and Harrison stuck their heads in the door.
"Hi, Liv…" Abby and Harrison said in chorus. They each gave her a hug.
Looking at Fitz, Abby asked, "So what was wrong with Liv?"
"You can ask me, Abby. Drum roll. I am pregnant," Olivia said.
"Wow! That's great news. Congratulations, Fitz." Harrison shook Fitz's hand and then kissed Olivia on the cheek.
"Why don't you guys leave us girls to chat," Abby said ushering them out of the room.
They walked out of the room and down the hall.
"Liv, are you trying to populate a small country or build your own basketball team? Pregnant? Wow! Annie and Arthur are only 5 months old. Who dropped the ball on this one? You couldn't have planned to get pregnant again so soon. I mean you won't be able to sleep for another…two years…" Abby continued her diatribe until Olivia interrupted.
"Abby, stop rubbing it in. This is my second, count it, second unplanned pregnancy. It's that damned sex. It's as if it is designed to get you pregnant! Ugh!" s soon as the words left Olivia's mouth, Abby looked at her with one eyebrow raised and they both collapsed in giggles.
"Abby, I am serious. Sex has been out to get me since I met Fitz. The end goal is to get that one swimmer to the finish line. Think of the human anatomy. There are parts that are like instruments with one purpose. But oh it feels so good. When he's there sliding in and out and in and out, I am not thinking about babies, but my body is because all I want to do is get him there. So I get wet and I open wider and wider. I mean all we do before that is to get us to…well…that! The kissing, touching…it is just making all the instruments ready. The killer is that the one thing that will get that swimmer where it is supposed to go is the one thing we are working so hard to achieve, that release! And it feels the best! The journey and the destination is so…"
"Olivia please stop before I drool all over the floor. Do you know how long it has been since anyone has slid in and out of me? Stop flaunting it okay?" Abby picked up a hospital brochure and fanned herself. They fell into giggles again.
"I'm sorry. I am not flaunting it. Look at me! For all my pleasure, I wipe dirty little butts and submit my breasts to constant sucking…and not the good kind… and will be for an eternity. But is my husband sympathetic? No! He is Enticer-n-Chief with his…well all of him entices me…He can go from soft to hard in 3 seconds flat. He blames me. He says I give him, The Look. But what accounts for when I am not looking at him?"
"Liv, Liv, Liv…too much information. You're killing me. I swear, Harrison better lock his door tonight!" They started laughing again.
"Abby, seriously, do you like Harrison like that?" Olivia said.
"Nooo! I mean he is good looking, sexy, and gallant, but sorta like a brother to me. Honestly, if I ever got a vibe that he liked me as more than a work colleague, I would give it a try. But, he has never given me any indication that he was even remotely attracted. Enough about sex, okay, Olivia. I can't take anymore. I have to go home to a cold bed tonight.
Abby rubbed her shoulder. "So how are you really feeling about the pregnancy? All jokes aside."
"I am okay, but a little disappointed that I won't have my big wedding. Oh, Fitz and I…"
"…Are already married. Aha! You just said husband! I knew it! I had a feeling you two had already tied the knot. Fitz seems more mellow these days, and I mistakenly opened the office lease paperwork. It included your new name. Will OPA become OGA or OPGA?"
"Neither. It will remain OPA. I am only changing the internal documents but not the main business name."
"Okay. Sounds good," said Abby.
"I'm sad that I won't be hands on with OPA as I want to since I will be up to my eyeballs in diapers. The business has suffered because of my personal life. I was hoping to build up a big clientele here in Atlanta."
"Maybe you can get Fitz to pull some strings in The Organization. I am sure there are some people who need help staying or getting out of trouble. They would probably pay well too. And Liv, whatever type of wedding you want, I'm sure between Huck, Harrison, and I, we can help you pull it off. "
"Abby, that sounds like a great idea on both accounts. We will have to work fast to plan a wedding before I expand in places that were just getting back to normal."
Abby gave Liv a hug just as Fitz and Harrison walked back into the room.
"What were you all talking about?" Fitz said.
They looked from Fitz to Harrison and then back at each other before bursting into laughter.
Later that night long after Olivia was discharged from the hospital, she lay awake in bed with a particular craving of the fried, breaded, and circular variety. At eight weeks pregnant, she realized that she was probably not far enough along to have cravings, but she wanted onion rings any way. She tried to extricate her limbs from Fitz who was sleeping like a log beside her. She was anchored to him with one arm around her waist and a leg thrown over hers.
"Livy, honey what's wrong do you need my instrument to put you asleep again?"
"I guess I will never live that one down you eavesdropper!" Olivia elbowed him in the ribs.
"I wasn't listening in on your conversation. I was coming back to the room because I had Karen and Gerry on the phone. They wanted to talk to you. I didn't know you would be giving a graphic lecture on our sex life."
"I want some onion rings, but it is 1 in the morning. Do you think Tom will take me?"
"Isn't it a little early for cravings?"
Olivia threw back the covers and swung her legs around to the floor. Fitz pulled her back down. "I'll get them for you. It has begun. Another onion ring is on the way."
"Thanks, honey. Just don't wake Annie and Arthur. I hope they sleep for five hours again tonight."
"I'll be back in 20 minutes." Fitz gave her a peck on the lips. He walked out of the door.
Olivia smiled at his messy hair and flipped on the television with the sound very low.
Her cell phone alerted her to an incoming text message.
She reached for her phone.
A frown crossed her face when she saw the sender's name. "Why do I still have her number saved in my phone as FLOTUS?"
FLOTUS: I need to see you about Karen and Gerry. I have no right to, but I can't talk to anyone else. I want to pay for what I have done, but I need your help first. You are a mother now so I know you will understand. Please callme.
Olivia reread the message then deleted her contact information from her contact list.