CHAPTER 10

Over the course of the next two years, Zoe and Cal struggled to make it work. When they weren't going at it fighting, they were going at it making love. The constant roller coaster of emotions meant the house was constantly fraught with tension and it was a miserable living arrangement for everyone.

Finally ready to move on, Zoe found an apartment across town and one Friday took the day off of work. She moved all of her clothes to the apartment and about half of Emily's things. Her car was loaded with the last of her things when Cal came home that night with Emily.

Cal walked in the back door and looked at his wife and knew something was different. "What's that look for?"

"Emily, get in my car, please."

"Why? What's going on?"

"Emily!" Zoe shouted angrily.

"Hey, don't take it out on her! If you're mad at me fine, but she doesn't deserve this!" Cal spat angrily.

"I'm leaving, Cal! I rented an apartment across town; Emily will spend the weekend with me until we've had a chance to figure things out."

"I'm not going with you!" Emily cried out from the doorway.

Zoe ignored her as she looked at Cal. "I'm filing papers for a divorce on Monday."

"You bitch!" Emily spat as she ran up to her bedroom and locked herself in.

Cal looked defeated. "So that's it then, you've already decided? You're done with me…"

"We were done a long time ago, Cal." She walked over to the base of the steps and shouted loudly. "Emily?!"

"Leave her here, I'll talk to her. Come get her in the morning."

Zoe knew he stood a better chance of reasoning with Emily and nodded. "All right. I'll be by at nine."

She walked out the door and Cal closed his eyes at the sound of the final door slam in his marriage.

He turned to go to the living room then heard Emily sobbing upstairs. With a grimace, he slowly walked up to her room.

"Em?"

"Go away!"

"I can't do that, Luv, can I come in?"

Emily didn't answer and when Cal walked into the room she looked up at him angrily. She was shocked to see the devastation on his face and the tears in his eyes and swallowed down her retort as she looked at him worriedly. "Daddy?"

Cal sat down on the side of her bed and blinked back the tears. "It's gonna be all right, Em, I promise, it's gonna hurt really bad for a while then we'll find a way to get over all this."

Emily cried then stared out the window of her room in a daze. Cal got up and headed down to start to make something for dinner.

"Em, dinner!" he called upstairs.

Emily came immediately and slid into her seat at the table. Both of them tried to ignore the empty place setting where Zoe normally sat. They were each silent as they pushed their food around on their plates.

Once it was cold, Cal looked at Emily and shrugged as he offered her a weak smile. "Not one of my better meals."

Emily smiled up at him. "You're a great cook, Dad. I don't think either one of us felt like eating."

Cal nodded as he carried their unfinished meals and put them in the sink.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Em?" he sighed at the uncertainty in her voices as he grabbed for the counter to steel himself for what was coming next.

"You're not going to make me go live with her, are you?"

"I don't know, Em…she's your Mum."

"And you're my Dad!" Cal frowned as he tried to figure out what to say to her. "You don't want me here?"

"Oh, Darling, you know that's not true." He said as he pulled her into his arms. "You're the most important person in my life; of course I want you here!"

Cal lifted her easily into his arms and carried her to the sofa in the living room. "I would love for you to stay with me, Em, truth is I have no idea what your mum is thinking and I'm not sure what's going on. But I promise, Luv, we'll talk on Monday and come up with a good plan for all of us."

Emily snuggled against him and after awhile fell asleep in his arms. Cal carried her up to her bedroom but she clung to his neck. "No, Daddy! Can I sleep in your room with you?!"

Cal sighed and carried her to his bed and laid her on Zoey's side of the bed. He slipped the covers over her then grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and headed to the bathroom to go change clothes. He came back and slid into bed then lightly caressed Emily's back until he felt her go to sleep.

He turned over to stare at the wall and then cried himself to sleep.

The next day, Cal cooked breakfast and he and Emily enjoyed the meal despite the dread they were both feeling. Zoe knocked on the door and at Cal's nod, Emily walked out the door to meet her mother.

The silence enveloped him and he felt his world shatter into pieces. He walked to the sofa then collapsed on it as he broke down and cried. A short time later, he got up and walked into the kitchen. He crabbed a cup to make some tea but looked up and saw the cabinet where the liquor was stored. With nothing left to lose, he grabbed a bottle of scotch and headed back into the living room. He flipped on the television and stared at the screen then proceeded to drink the entire bottle.

He woke twelve hours later and staggered into the kitchen once again. He grabbed a piece of bread as he opened up the liquor cabinet. He frowned when he saw it was filled with the white wine Zoe liked. Scowling, he grabbed his car keys then thought briefly of whether or not he was sober enough to actually be driving. He convinced himself it was only a few miles away and that he'd be fine.

Cal walked slowly into the liquor store and grabbed bottle after bottle of scotch, whiskey, bourbon and gin. The man at the counter blinked with surprise but Cal ignored him as he whipped out his credit card to pay then grabbed the bag from him and walked out the door.

Walking into his house, he set the bag on the counter in the kitchen, grabbed one of the bottles and walked back into the living room.

Days passed and Cal remained in a drunken fog. It was Wednesday before Gillian finally started to get worried. She had made repeated phone calls to both his cell phone and house phone but no one ever answered or returned her call. She frowned when she wondered if something bad had happened to him and wondered if Zoe would have bothered to call her to let her know.

At lunch, she got up and headed over to their house. She frowned when she saw Cal's car in the driveway parked at an angle where it blocked all access to the garage. She wondered how Zoe was supposed to get in and out of the garage then became really worried that something horrible had happened to Emily.

She walked up to the front door and saw Cal's keys dangling from the lock. She wondered how exhausted he had to be to leave his keys in the door as she knocked loudly. No one answered so she rang the doorbell and knocked again.

When there was still no answer, Gillian stood and debated what to do. She went to use his key but found that the door was unlocked. She peeked her head inside the door and called out. "Cal! Zoe! Hello?!"

When no one answered, she took a few steps inside and called out again. "Cal, it's me…Cal? Zoe?"

She walked in a few more steps when she heard someone moan. Her heart leapt in her chest as she dropped her purse to the floor and ran quickly through the house. "Cal!"

She raced around the corner and slammed to a stop. Cal was sprawled out on the sofa; empty bottles of liquor littered the floor around him. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she rolled her eyes.

"Great! I'm busting my ass at work and you're at home having a party!"

Cal blinked as he heard a voice and called out hopefully. "Zoe?"

"No!"

He rolled over onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes "Foster…" he said with resignation.

"Yeah."

"What?"

"What?!" Gillian's anger level went through the roof. "What…what?! What am I doing here? What do I want?"

"Yeah."

Cal began to retch. He was so drunk and so weak he couldn't sit up and as he began to vomit he started to choke. Gillian gasped and ran to his side. She grabbed his arm and was able to pull him to his side as the contents of his stomach splattered down the front of her pants.

Gillian leapt back and looked at her clothes then spat angrily as she carefully slipped off her cover up. "That's great!" Cal moaned aloud and she shook her head. "Someone needs to get you cleaned up before Emily gets home!"

"Not coming home."

"Not coming home? Cal, where's Zoe?"

"Gone…"

Gillian's heart sank and she wondered if it was a car accident or something equally as tragic then her thoughts turned to Emily and she panicked. "Gone! What happened? Is Emily okay? Cal!" she said as she shook him roughly.

"Zoe left me!" he groaned. "She left me…"

Gillian's eyes closed with relief as she realized there was no accident and that Emily was fine. She was filled with sympathy as she looked down at her partner and realized he was devastated and had drank himself to oblivion to stop feeling the pain.

"Cal, c'mon, let's try to get you cleaned up."

"Just go."

"No…I'm not leaving you alone like this.

"You'll leave…you'll leave just like everyone else."

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere so get up!"

Cal slowly sat up. The movement caused his head to spin and he vomited on his shirt. Gillian backed away and waited until he finished. She ran to the linen closet and came back and handed him some rags. "Here…"

Cal took the rags and held them against his shirt to try and soak up the vomit as he leaned his head back.

"You need to get in the shower."

"Why?"

Gillian frowned. "Oh, I don't know, maybe so you can go to work."

"It's Saturday…"

"It's Wednesday, Cal!"

Cal blinked in surprise as he held his hand to his head. "Wednesday?!"

"Yeah."

He realized he had been drinking for five straight days and with a shrug, he laid his head back. "I don't care."

Gillian saw the look of defeat in his eyes and her sympathy returned. "Yeah, I know, but you need to care."

"Why…when you care you just get hurt…in the end you always just get hurt!"

Gillian reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "It doesn't always turn out that way, Cal. Come on, let me help you get upstairs."

Cal frowned as she tried to help him up. "Don't know if I can."

Gillian steadied him as he tried to stand. She slipped his arm around her shoulder so she could help him walk to the stairs. She gasped and held her breath as the smell of liquor and vomit assaulted her nose.

Cal looked at her sheepishly. "That bad?"

Gillian looked at him. "It's not good."

At the base of the steps, Cal removed his arm and held onto the wall. "I can go it alone…go home, Foster. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?!" Cal stumbled up the steps and headed towards the bathroom.

Gillian turned and blinked with shock as she looked into the kitchen. The kitchen was normally the cleanest room in the house now the counter tops were filled with dirty dishes and empty bottles of liquor.

With a sigh, she grabbed for her phone and called the office to leave a message.

"Hi, this is Dr. Foster. I won't be in for the rest of the day."

After she hung up the phone, she quickly filled the dishwasher and started the first load. She grabbed a garbage bag and threw away the bottles of liquor as well as three empty bottles of white wine. "He doesn't even like white wine!" she muttered as she made her way into the living room where she found more empty bottles and some dirty dishes.

She hauled the bag of bottles out to recycling then came back in and stacked the dirty dishes in the sink where they would be ready for the next load.

Finding the cleaning supplies, she walked into the living room and wiped down the sofa. "He's lucky it's leather," she muttered as she wiped up his vomit.

She got on her hands and knees and held her breath as she scrubbed the carpeting where the rest of his stomach contents had landed. Knowing it had to dry before she could clean it further, she walked into the kitchen and began to scrub the counter tops and within fifteen minutes had the kitchen spotless again.

Hearing the shower shut off, she pushed the button on the coffee maker and started a fresh pot.

Cal had dressed then slowly made his way downstairs and held onto the wall of the kitchen. "You're still here?"

"Yeah," she said as she set a cup of coffee down in front of him.

Cal's hands shook as he tried to pick it up. Gillian realized he was in worse shape then she thought and she reached out and steadied his hand as he brought the mug to his lips and took a sip.

"Thanks," he said quietly as he glanced at her with bloodshot eyes.

Gillian ignored him and popped a slice of bread in the toaster, when it popped up she buttered it lightly and pushed it towards him.

Cal ignored it as his head hung down.

Gillian squeezed his arm. "I have to use the bathroom, I'll be right back."

She walked up the steps and her nose wrinkled in disgust at the smell. She peeked in his bedroom. His bed was unmade and she could see that he had vomited as well as urinated in his sleep.

She quickly walked into the bathroom then gasped when she saw that he had tried to make the toilet and missed. She stepped out of the room and went to use the main bathroom in the hallway. She peeked into Emily's room and was grateful it looked exactly the same.

She headed back downstairs and saw that Cal had at least eaten half of the piece of toast. She went to refill his coffee mug but he shook his head.

"I can't, Luv."

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

Cal shrugged. "No where to go."

"Emily's room is clean, come on, I'll help you up."

Gillian put her hand on his back as he stood. He was still weak but he showed a little improvement and made it back up the steps without too much trouble.

He hesitated briefly as he looked at Emily's room with tears in his eyes. "I keep forgetting she won't be sleeping here."

"Sure she will," Gillian said as she pulled back the sheets and helped him settle down.

Cal lay down and as his head hit the pillow he closed his eyes. "Foster…"

Gillian smiled when his voice trailed off. "You're welcome," she supplied when she guessed what he was going to say."

She smoothed back his hair and saw him take a deep breath. Within a minute, she knew he was asleep.

She sighed as she walked back into the master bath. She grabbed dirty towels from the hamper and cleaned up what she could from around the toilet then dumped all of them in the hamper. She lugged the hamper down the steps and started a load of laundry.

She headed back up then pulled the sheets off his bed and carried the makeshift bundle down and unceremoniously dumped it on the floor of the laundry room.

She headed back up and scrubbed down the bathroom, then walked to the linen closet and grabbed fresh sheets for the bed. She thought about vacuuming but didn't want to disturb Cal so she headed back downstairs.

As she looked around the room, she noticed that Zoe's leaving had resulted in empty spaces on shelves where her personal items had been. Gillian grabbed a dust rag and dusted shelves as she moved items around so the empty spots wouldn't be so noticeable. When she was done, she quickly grabbed the vacuum and made her way around the room.

Satisfied that the place looked decent again, she walked into the kitchen. The dishwasher was done and she put away the dishes and started another load. Pots and pans were the only items left but Gillian filled them with hot soapy water so the baked on food would soften.

Her stomach grumbled and she opened the refrigerator to look for a snack. She blinked when she saw an empty ketchup bottle, a half empty bottle of mustard and an expired carton of milk. She closed the door and glanced up the steps as she grabbed for her purse. She grabbed the extra house key on the rack in the pantry and headed out the door.

She walked into the grocery store where she swept through the outer aisles and picked up all of the essentials then made her way to the inside aisles to pick up new condiments and canned goods.

She let herself back into his house and deposited the bags of groceries on the counter top. She quietly walked up the steps and stood outside of Emily's door. She could hear Cal lightly snoring and she smiled as she headed back downstairs.

She opened the refrigerator and decided to give it a thorough cleaning. She dumped the slimy vegetables from the bottom drawer as well as the spoiled fruit from the next drawer. With a quick glance at the rest of the items, she decided to throw everything out and start fresh.

She scrubbed down the walls and shelves then put all of the new items away.

Her phone rang and with a smile she picked it up. "Hi, Honey!"

"Hey, Babe!"

Gillian glanced at the clock and frowned. "Are you heading home already?"

"No, I have to work late, that's why I called."

"Oh," Gillian tried to hide her disappointment.

"I'm sorry; you know how it is…"

"Yeah."

Alec sighed at the tone in her voice. "Can I make it up to you tomorrow? Maybe we can go out to eat? Mario's?" he asked, knowing it was her favorite restaurant.

"Sure."

"I'm sorry you have to eat alone again."

Gillian made an instant decision. "I won't, I guess I'll have dinner with Cal. Zoe left him over the weekend and I think he could use a friend right about now…"

"Yeah, Honey, whatever…I've got to go…"

Alec hung up abruptly as Gillian looked at the phone and frowned. "I love you too," she said sarcastically as she set the phone down.

Gillian walked into their old office and settled down at Cal's computer. She signed on and was able to access The Lightman Group's computers and settled down to get some work done.

While she worked, she kept the laundry going and had all of the towels washed and folded as well as most of the bed linen and even a few loads of Cal and Emily's clothes.

A few hours later, she heard noise from upstairs and knew Cal was up. She started the tea kettle and looked through the cabinets until she found his favorite tea.

When Cal walked into the kitchen, she handed him a cup. He looked at her gratefully as he accepted it and slid into a chair. "You've been here all day?"

"Yeah, where else would I be?"

"Don't you have your own home?" The dryer buzzed and Cal watched as she took the comforter from his bed and began to fold it. "Now what are you doing?"

"Your laundry."

Cal grumbled. "What the hell are you doing my laundry for?!"

Gillian's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?" At Cal's confused look, she shook her head. "Your bedroom smelled like the men's bathroom in a strip club!"

He looked down in dismay as he remembered urinating on himself in the middle of the night then vomiting when the feeling of the wetness woke him up. He was embarrassed and disgusted with himself when he looked up again. He started to apologize then blinked when he actually looked at the kitchen. "You cleaned in here too?"

"And the living room…you should probably get the carpeting steam cleaned but it should be all right for a few days."

Cal thought he remembered abandoning his bed and heading to sleep on the couch and he sighed. "I'll make an appointment tomorrow."

Gillian sighed. "Are you hungry, what can I make you?"

Cal chuckled derisively. "I don't think I have any food here, Luv."

"I went shopping," Gillian said as she opened the refrigerator. "Steak, chicken, ground beef, shrimp…do you want taco's or hamburgers, maybe some barbecue chicken..." She glanced back and saw he had actually paled at the mention of food. "Beans and toast?" she joked. Cal actually seemed interested in that and she rolled her eyes. "Beans and toast it is!"

Gillian popped the beans into the microwave and then bread into the toaster. Within a few minutes, she had set the bowl down in front of Cal.

Cal had just taken a mouthful when the back door opened.

"Hi Dad!" Emily sang out loudly as she ran into Cal's arms for a tight hug. "Hi Gillian!" she greeted warmly as she plopped in the chair next to her father.

Cal had winced at her loud tone but he quickly hid it when she slid in next to him. "Hello, Darling."

"Hi, Emily." Gillian smiled warmly she tried to get Emily to focus on her. "How was school?"

"Insane! My Mom told the principal she moved and when she gave her address we found out that it's in a different school district. He told her I'd have to transfer schools!"

Gillian's heart sank for the girl who was obviously very upset about the whole thing and Cal scowled angrily before he looked at his daughter sympathetically. "I'm sorry, Em."

"Why? It's not your fault Mom decided to move out…"

"Yeah, well, maybe it kind of is…maybe if I could have made her happier…"

"Dad!" Emily protested. "You're not the only person at fault here!"

Gillian nodded at the mature attitude Emily was showing. "She's right, Cal."

Emily opened the refrigerator and laughed as she took out an apple. "Wow, I thought for sure there'd be nothing for me to eat but you went shopping?!"

She walked into the living room and plopped down in the big lazy boy and turned on the television. "The house looks great, Dad!" she complimented as Cal carried his bowl of food into the living room and settled down on the sofa. "I mean, Mom said she thought for sure it would look like a tornado hit it and she said if it did she wasn't going to let me stay here but instead it looks like you gave it a good cleaning."

Cal looked gratefully at Gillian then looked back at Emily. "Yeah, well, you know, clean slate and all that…we need a fresh start, Em, just you and me."

Emily nodded as she tried to find the music video channel. "Well, I think Mom is going to talk to you about me staying here Monday night through Thursday night. That way I can stay in the same school."

"At's fine with me, Em, whatever your Mum decides, I'll make it work."

Gillian looked over at Emily as she smiled. "Your Dad cleaned his room today and was just about to start on your room when I came over to drop off some folders from work. I invited myself to stay for dinner but maybe I should leave since you'll be here."

Emily shook her head. "No, why don't you and I make dinner and Dad can go finish cleaning upstairs."

Gillian looked at Cal who nodded. "At's great, Em, thanks."

Cal wolfed down his small serving of beans and toast then went upstairs. He glanced at his bed and finding it newly made with fresh sheets, he slowly walked into the bathroom and sighed with relief. He stood in front of the mirror and slowly opened his eyes and blew out a long breath. Thanks to Gillian coming over when she did, cutting him off from drinking then letting him get a long rest, he looked half way human. His beard was pretty scraggly but he would have to deal with that later on.

He walked into Emily's room and grabbed all her sheets off the bed then headed downstairs.

"Leave them, Cal, I'll start the next load in a minute," Gillian said as she brought out steaks from the refrigerator.

Cal squeezed her arm gratefully then headed back upstairs with the vacuum. He made his way from bedroom to bedroom then down the hallway. By the time, he made it down the steps, Gillian and Emily could be heard laughing in the kitchen and having a great time.

Cal walked in and put the vacuum in the closet. "You two having fun?"

Gillian smiled at him as she looked closely into his eyes. He still looked tired but his color had returned and she knew he was going to be all right.

Emily slipped under his arm and hugged him warmly. "Yeah, Gillian was showing me how to tenderize steaks for the grill."

Cal kissed her forehead. "At's my girl; maybe you can start helping me now that you're getting older."

Emily smiled. "Well, I'm guessing most nights when I come home after school; I'll be the one starting dinner!"

Cal frowned when he realized he was going to have to put himself on a better schedule to make sure he was home with Emily. "We'll, see, Luv, maybe we can learn to use that crock pot thing your Mum bought me."

Gillian picked up the plate filled with steaks. "The grill should be ready by now, I'm going to go start these; do you want to get cleaned up for dinner?"

"Hey, I'm the grill master in this house!" Cal objected loudly as he took the plate from her and set it back down. He shoved up the sleeves of his shirt and started to wash his hands and smiled over at her. "Why don't you and Em start on that lovely salad you made?"

Gillian smirked at his new attitude as she relinquished control of dinner and sat down with Emily to enjoy her salad.

Emily ran a salad out to Cal and he ate it as he turned the steaks. He came back inside a few minutes later and set the perfectly cooked pieces on everyone's plates. "Medium for Em and rare for Foster and Dad."

Conversation was kept light and Emily had the two friends laughing at her funny stories of the kids at school. After dinner, Gillian started to clean the kitchen while Cal threw Emily's comforter in the dryer. He headed upstairs and put fresh sheets on Emily's bed and looked around the room satisfied that it was back in place.

He glanced at the bathroom but remembered he had just cleaned it the previous weekend and since no one had been using it, it was still clean. Cal headed downstairs again and Emily and Gillian had their heads together and were pouring over an Algebra problem. Gillian was sitting with her pencil in her hand and a piece of scratch paper trying to help Emily with the formulas.

Cal came over and stuck his tongue out. "Math! Ugh! I'll let Foster help you with that one Em, call me when you get down to English Lit."

He walked over to the refrigerator and dug behind some bags of frozen vegetables to find a half gallon container of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He grabbed three bowls and put a few scoops of ice cream into each bowl then brought it over and set it on the table next to them.

They each grabbed a bowl and Gillian sighed as she tasted the refreshing sweetness.

"Dad, do you have a calculator?"

Cal frowned. "I have no idea, Em, can't you use the one on your phone?"

Emily scowled. "I wish I had the one in my room."

"Well, go get it…" Cal pointed up the steps.

"It's at Mom's!"

Emily was angry at her life being interrupted and Cal leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'll pick one up tomorrow, Luv."

Gillian walked in from the office and handed one to Emily. "No worries, I had one in your Dad's office."

Emily smiled as she grabbed for it. "Thanks, Gillian, you're a lifesaver!"

Cal mouthed thank you to Gillian behind Emily's back. Gillian smiled at him then squeezed his arm and nodded towards the door.

"Hey, Em, if you're good with your homework, I need to head home."

"I've got it now, thanks for explaining that one formula to me…eight times!"

Gillian laughed as she patted the girl's shoulder. "Anytime, Em."

Cal walked Gillian to her car and sighed as she opened the door. "I don't know what to say, Foster."

Gillian shrugged. "You could try thanks!"

"It's not enough."

Gillian squeezed his arm. "Between friends it is."

Cal came around the side of her car and pulled her close for a hug. "Thanks, Gill."

Gillian patted his back then stepped away from him and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, after Em leaves for school."

Cal made it in to work the next day. He was clean shaven and Gillian was surprised that he put his nose to the grindstone and immediately got to work. The same routine happened on Friday but she noticed he hadn't shaved.

The long weekend came about and Cal was left alone for most of that time. Although he drank himself to sleep each night, he never got as bad as he was those first few days.

Monday morning rolled around and again Cal was at work and doing his job. By Thursday, Gillian realized he had worn the same shirt to work everyday that week and that although he was contributing to the work load, he was just going through the motions. Emotionally he was disconnected from everyone and everything.

It was months before he was fully recovered and one night he stayed late and teased her mercilessly about her take out dinner and she turned her head and smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're back."

Cal was laughing and looked at her with confusion. "What are you talking about Foster? I haven't gone anywhere?"

Gillian looked at him then nodded her head. "No, you hadn't gone anywhere but you still weren't here. Tonight…you're back."

Cal realized she was talking about his personality and he grew serious as he looked down and thought about what she said. He looked up and made a face then sighed as he grinned at her devilishly. "Here I thought you were hiding something in that icy bit of crap you're drinking!"

Gillian rolled her eyes as she got up from her desk. "You're impossible. Goodnight, Cal."

"Night, Luv."