That weekend, on the other side of Royal Woods, a small cluster of poorly built two house apartments stood nestled together. In one of those houses, a boy sat on his bed, simultaneously combing his long, black hair and talking with a certain girl on the phone.
"And THAT'S why I don't eat fast food! At least, not KFC...
"Dude, I'm pretty sure that you didn't find a chicken brain in your meal… I don't think that's up to standards."
"Well, it looked like one! And besides, my job says that it can't. Literally. It's a stipulation in the contract."
"Ohhh, tough. Hey, I gotta go now. My dad just made dinner."
"Dude, your pop makes dinner?! My mom doesn't even know how to use the stove!"
"Yeah! He's not half bad, either. I really have to go now, Jordan. See you later."
"Bye, Luna," Jordan Slater said as the line went dead. He tossed the phone onto his nightstand and threw himself down onto his bed, smiling all the while.
"Damn!" He thought to himself. "Is this actually happening to me? I've NEVER felt like this about a girl! And who would've thought that would meet her by almost killing her?"
He sat up in bed and shouted to the air around him.
"I DID SOMETHING RIGHT!"
Unfortunately for the boy, a louder, more annoying voice answered back.
"JORDAN! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCREAMING?! IS THERE ANOTHER SPIDER NEST IN YOUR ROOM?!"
"-sigh- Here we go again... NO, MOM! I'M TALKING TO MYSELF!"
"WELL, STOP THAT! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A MIGRANE!"
"MAYBE THAT'S THE PLAN!" he screamed as he got up to use the bathroom. Although he was only about 6 foot 2, the roof of his room hung abnormally low, making him look taller than he actually was. He wore a Michigan State hoodie and a pair of black jeans.
"I'M SERIOUS, JORDAN! DO I HAVE TO COME UP THERE?!"
"Geez, mom, I wouldn't want to make you walk up here again!" He said in a softer, more sarcastic tone. "I mean, it's not like you ever BOTHER TO GET OFF YOUR RECLINER!"
"THAT'S IT!" she yelled as Jordan heard her get up. But after that, silence.
"Ma? You alright?" He asked, a hint of worry in his voice.
"I'M FINE! I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE WALKING RIGHT NOW!"
"Oh, Ma... that's why I love you…" He chuckled to himself. Even though he and his mother were accustomed to screaming at each other, they always made amends, whether 5 seconds or 5 days later.
He stepped out of the bathroom and began to walk downstairs.
"Ma! Where's my Xbox controller?"
"Why do you need it?"
"I'm gonna play GTA!"
"Why do you need the controller to do that?!"
"Oh, you know, I WANT TO MOVE MY CHARACTER AROUND?!"
"Oh, whatever! It's on the coffee table!"
"Thanks!" He said as he walked into the living room. In the center of the room sat his mother in her recliner, watching one of her HGTV home improvement show. She was an older woman, in her 60s. In fact, she could have probably passed for Jordans grandmother if she tried.
"Don't be on there too long, Jordie. Dinners gonna be ready in a few minutes."
"Mom, you know that Papa Anthony always takes 20 minutes longer than they say. I've got plenty of time."
"Oh, I know. It's been a long day so far. I can't focus."
"Didn't get any calls today, huh?" He said as he sat down on the couch. "I don't know why not. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure people want to move here..."
"Not in the middle of March, you idiot! Who wants to buy a house in winter?!"
"Ma, it's Springtime now," he said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll sell a house soon. It can't be that long until-"
He was interrupted by his phone vibrating in his pocket.
"Oooh, who's texting you, hon? Your girlfriend?"
Jordan felt his cheeks get red before he replied.
"No, ma! Its just David..." he said, although he couldn't remember the last time David was spelled L-U-N-A. "He wants to know if I want to go skating tonight."
"Oh, not today, hon. It's supposed to snow pretty hard tonight."
"Just what I told him," he said as he shoved the phone back in his pocket. "Call me down when the pizza gets here."
"Oh, I will, believe me!"
"Heh! I know!"
He ran back upstairs, controller in hand. As soon as he was out of his mother's eyesight, though, he was back on the phone, dialing her number.
"I thought you were eating?"
"Nope. My dad dropped the lasagna. The dog got it before he did."
"Tough. My mom ordered pizza. Like always. She can't cook."
"Yeah, my dad isn't too good either. I don't tell him, though."
"Oh, I make it obvious to her. She sucks."
"Well, that's rude..."
"I'm a rude person, Luna. I AM pretty tired of eating pizza, though. And I ain't allowed to eat at work, either."
"Why don't you cook?"
"Luna, the only thing I'm good at making is burnt toast and ice. I don't think it would work."
"Well, you got a problem then, dude."
"I guess so," he sent.
He suddenly got an idea. A risky idea, a stupid idea, and an idea that he seriously doubted would work. But even though he seriously doubted it would work, he began to talk.
"Oh, boy. I'm stupid… Hey, you doing anything on Friday?"
As soon as he said it, he immediately began to panic.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god..."
There was a minute of silence on the phone that lasted for what felt like an eternity. But, at last, she finally answered.
"No… why?
"Well, there's a new Chinese-Italian place across town I've been meaning to try. I was kinda wondering if you wanted to go with me."
"Kinda wondering? Meaning to try? I'm so stupid..." he told himself as Luna almost immediately gave an answer.
"I wouldn't mind that!"
His eyes widened as he frantically blurbed his words out.
"Really?"
"Yeah! I've been needing to get out of the house, anyway. And I don't think I'd be missed here."
"Oh, your parents are mad at you or something?"
"What? No, they're just busy all the time."
"Oh, I got you...well, uh, I'll meet you there on Friday, then? 7 sound good to you?"
"That sounds perfect. See you then!"
"Alright, talk to you later!"
Putting the phone down, he sat still for a moment, before he grabbed the air and began to rapidly fist pump.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" He said excitedly. "I did it!"
"WHAT ARE YOU SCREAMING ABOUT?!"
"NOTHING, MOM!" he excitedly shouted down the stairs. "I UNLOCKED A NEW ACHIEVEMENT!"
"Oh. WELL, KEEP IT DOWN!"
"Whatever you say, mom..." he said as he laid down on his bed, staring at the roof with a goofy smile on his face.
The Loud House...
At the large house at 1216 Franklin Avenue, Luna Loud was sitting in her room, trying to play off what her friend had just asked her.
"Ok, stay calm. Stay calm..." she told herself before beginning to fist pump.
"Yes, yes, YES!" she shouted. "He asked me on a date! An actual date! Yes!"
She jumped off her bed, beginning to jump wildly.
"What do I do? Do I dress normally? Should I comb my hair? Do I CUT my hair? Do I-"
"LUNA! STOP JUMPING AROUND!"
"Yeah! Some of us want to wait for the pizza to get here in quiet!"
"Oh, yeah. Sorry!" she shouted as she ran out of her room, towards the bathroom.
In her excitement, however, Luna didn't notice the other person in her room, who was currently sitting up in her bed, wearing a mixture of ticked off and sad.
"Well, then. I guess she better "save the DATE." Ha ha ha. Get it?" Luan said to herself as she got off her bed.
"She's being dumb. Lori is being dumb! Leni is being dumb! And not in the usual way! What is up with them and their-"
RIIIING! RIIIING!
"A call?" She thought as the official Funny Buisness, Inc phone rang. She begrudgingly walked over to it and picked it up.
"Funny Buisness, Inc," she said, monotonous. "Where our fun is your-"
"Hey, what do clowns do when they go to the office?" A familiar, deep voice asked.
"-sigh- Funny Buisness."
"Ha!" The voice laughed. "Never gets old!"
"Wait a minute…" Luan said, recognizing the voice. "Noah, right?"
"The one and only! Actually, no. If you're thinking of that one guy from the bible, then no. Can't help you."
"What do you want, Noah? This is a buisness line!"
"Oh, I do have business for you, though! I found your ad in the yellow pages!"
"Wow. You read the yellow pages? Those things are so old, I'm surprised that they aren't lying in a funeral home. Get it?"
"Ha! I'm glad that you have a good sense of humor. The world needs more of that, believe me."
"Alright, then. State your buisness."
"...What?"
"Uh, state your buisness? As in, why are you calling me?"
"Oh, uh... I don't know, I just wanted to talk?"
"Ok, then. Well, you can't talk to me on this line. I could get a party deal anytime now, and I don't want you blocking the line."
"Oh, come on! The ad said you close at 7! It's 8:30!"
"Well, either way, Noah, you still can't use this phone. I've had a long day so far..."
"YOU'VE had a long day? As Vladimir Putin would say, Crimea River! My day's been horrible!"
Luna couldn't help but laugh out loud at the joke.
"Ok, that was horrible."
"My specialty. But, if you insist, then I guess I'll just have to hang up..."
"Wait!" She said, before pausing. After a second, she started again.
"Look, uh, I cant let you call this line. But how about I give you my cell phone number?"
After a minute, he replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah! I mean, I may not answer immediately, but still! I like taking to you, Noah."
"Wow. That's the first time I've heard that one! Ha! I mean, I'm not exactly the most-"
"Do you want the number or not?"
"Oh! Yeah, yeah, just give me a second... Ok, I'm ready."
"Alright, my number is..."
They exchanged numbers, and texted each other to see if they worked.
"Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?"
"Oh, yeah! He's all right now. Ha!"
They texted for a while, until 9:00.
"Well, I gotta go. I've exhausted," Noah texted.
"Yeah, me too. I've got to sleep off some stuff."
"Oh, I hope you don't say what it is. It would be a SNOOZEfest. Oh, god, that was cringe worthy."
"You got that right," she texted with a smile. "Talk to you later!"
"You too!"
As soon as she put the phone away, she threw herself onto her bed.
"UGH!" she shouted into her pillow. "I'm such an idiot! Why did I do that? I mean, I don't want him to get the wrong idea or anything! This is just a mess..."
She laid down on her matress and fell asleep, trying to think about how to get herself out of the hole she had dug herself.