Chapter 12
Harvesting Hope
Fitz was uncomfortable. He was cold, and he couldn't breathe. Another unsuccessful attempt to inhale caused him to lift his eyelids. He felt his nose for the origin of his suffocation and grasped the small foot pushing against his nostrils. He brushed it away only to feel a toddler sized elbow make contact with his cheek.
Annie and Arthur? He sat up in bed.
The twins were sleeping fitfully beside him in bed. Two pairs of arms and legs were tangled in the covers that had long since been pulled off his body. He turned and saw Olivia sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. She rested on her back with Benjamin on her chest. She held him there with her hands which covered his back. Their comfortable scene was the opposite of his chaotic one.
He wondered where they had come from. He distinctly remembered going to bed with only Olivia last night. He figured she must have brought them to bed during the night.
The threat from two weeks ago still wore on her. Both his father and mother attempted to contact him during that time. He had ignored their calls. Fitz called Fairfield to receive the information about the release of Mellie and Nathaniel. Olivia convinced him to reconsider his assassination plans against his father, but that was still an option. He needed to make a decision soon because of the changes coming to his family. Olivia was returning to work today and would be exposed to harm on a daily basis.
Fitz scooped up the twins and carried them to their room. He slowly extricated Benjamin from Olivia's grip, hoping not to wake her. He walked through the twins' room to Benjamin's room and laid him in his bed. As he exited the door, he bumped into Quinn who was entering the room.
"Mr. Grant, I'm sorry. I was just checking on the twins." Quinn said. She immediately looked away because he only wore boxer shorts.
"Quinn, no. It's not a problem. I think Olivia brought them into our room last night. I was returning them before the twins kicked my eyes out."
She giggled softly, deciding to look directly into his eyes to avoid his chiseled and hairy chest. Not only do I have to avoid them doing it all over the house, but now Mr. Grant walks around half naked.
"They are very wild sleepers. Olivia, I think, is still a little shaken up about the phone call. I know she might be a apprehensive about going back to work tomorrow. I was thinking of taking them to visit her at work. What do you think?" said Quinn.
"I think that is a good idea, Quinn. She will be excited to see them. I am going to stall her in the morning since I expect Harrison, Abby, and Huck have something planned too. Don't stay too long, though, because Annie and Arthur might try to take over. Thanks for everything. Olivia and I consider you to be part of the family now. Please let me know if you ever need anything."
"Thanks, Mr. Grant," Quinn said as he left.
Back in the bedroom, Fitz fixed the bedclothes that had been pulled to one side by his twin terrors.
Olivia stretched and snuggled into the pillow. "Why did you take my babies away?"
He pulled off his boxers and scooted in behind her. "This bed is for mature audiences only." His hand slid under her camisole and to her breasts. His fingers tweaked her nipples. She smiled when he kissed her neck and pushed himself closer.
"Audiences? There better not be any audiences," she said turning on her back to look up at him. "Besides, I'm tired," she mumbled, not stifling a yawn.
"I know. Just close your eyes and forget about me," he whispered in her ear.
"Okay, Livy, you have to wake up now," he whispered in her ear. She turned towards him, smiling contentedly.
"Mmm…what time is it?" Her eyes widened when she saw the digital clock change form 7:59 to 8:00. She threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, stepping around Fitz, "Why didn't you wake me before now? I wanted to get there before everyone else!"
Fitz watched her bare butt streak across the room. He followed her inside their bathroom but was stopped short when the door to the toilet slammed in his face. When she opened it, Fitz watched her frantically begin her morning routine.
Thirty minutes later she was dressed and standing in front of the vanity curling her hair while Fitz brushed his teeth. He was fully dressed too. Olivia teased him about the random way he got ready in the morning. The things she did first he did last.
"I wanted to run something by you, Fitz. I want to trade security guards. Let Tom
stay with Quinn and the kids. Send McGillis or another agent with me today."
He spit and rinsed. "Why do you want to do that? Tom has been with you forever. He'd protect you with his own life. Frankly, he's the only one I trust to be with you. The kids have the added security of the house guards that you won't have out in the public."
"But Fitz, I want Tom and Quinn to spend some time together. She won't date him now because she thinks it will interfere with working here. I don't want her to sacrifice like that for us, but she won't budge."
"I know you want to play cupid, but let it happen naturally, Liv. If it is meant to be, it will happen…without your fixing," Fitz said with smile.
"Tom isn't pushy like you. If Quinn turned him down, he would not ask her again. What if Quinn decides to leave, God forbid, and they never get together?"
Fitz removed the curing iron from her hand and pushed up against her from behind. "I'm pushy, huh? Maybe you were the pushy one? You were pretty pushy, following me around, showing up wherever I was and seducing me, calling me at all times of the night…"
Olivia pursed her lips. "Fitzgerald Thomas Grant, III, you are lying. If anyone did those things, it was you. Remember how you forced me to do consulting work, and tricked me into going to France, and let's not forget getting me pregnant with twins! I could go on."
"Okay…I'm pushy, because you're so you know how you can ensure that Quinn stays longer? We can start working on another little Grant. She couldn't leave us then."
Olivia frowned at his reflection in the mirror.
"I shouldn't privilege that with a response. You already know my thoughts on the matter. This womb is closed for occupancy…for real this time. We can discuss changing Tom's assignment later. I love seeing them in the same room together. They are trying to be professional and not focused on each other, but it doesn't work."
Olivia finished her hair. "I'm ready to go. Have a great day, my love." Olivia gave him a peck on the cheek and breezed out of the room.
Olivia was in the SUV headed to work when a text came in from Fitz.
Husband: You left the curling iron plugged in.
Wife: Oops! How dumb and stupid of me! Sorry!
Husband: Oops is enough. Have a great day. I love you.
"Welcome back!" a chorus of three voices shouted as Olivia entered the office suite at 10. The office was decorated with a colorful banner that hung over a table filled with pastries, coffee, and juice. They exchanged hugs and ushered her inside.
"This is why Fitz let me oversleep this morning!" Olivia said.
"We didn't tell him about it. He must have guessed we would do something like this for you," said Harrison.
Later that afternoon, they were engrossed in a conversation about their current clients.
"You all have done a great job getting new cases. The CRCT cheating scandals, while bad for Atlanta, were certainly a boon for us. Between the teachers, athletes and celebrities, Atlanta has been good for business. Thank you. I have news. About two weeks ago, someone called and threatened the kids," She gave them all the details and answered their questions.
"Fitz thinks his father is behind this, but you don't. Why?" Huck asked.
"I don't think he is capable of hurting Fitz like that especially now when they are reconnecting. Honestly, I don't think the threat to our family is real. I believe the intended purpose was to scare me…scare Fitz. Who would threaten someone like that to keep them in a political race?"
"We will be working on it, Liv," Harrison said.
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" chanted two little voices.
Everyone looked around the corner just in time to see the twins running toward Olivia. She knelt to their level. They ran into her arms. Olivia hugged them tightly. "What are you little onion rings doing here?"
Quinn appeared around the corner pushing Benjamin in a stroller.
Abby got to him first. "Little Bennie's here! Oh, Oh, Oh! Come to Momma." She knelt down and scooped him up in her arms. "Can I keep him, Liv? He's smiling at me."
Annie and Arthur were already looking around for something to get into so Harrison and Huck kept an eye on them.
"Quinn, thanks for bringing them. I've been missing my babies all day." Olivia hugged Quinn.
"You don't have to thank me, Olivia. I love your office," Quinn said looking around."
Husband: How was your day?
Wife: Perfect. Guess who visited me today?
Husband: Who?
Wife: Quinn brought my babies. Abby tried to keep Bennie.
Husband: No, but she can keep the twins!
Wife: Nooo. Not my little onion rings!
Husband: I love you. Gotta go.
Wife: K. Want more of the same from last night. Was epic! Love you too.
Fitz laughed out loud at Olivia's last text message. His joy turned to anger when Mrs. Handley informed him that his mom was outside waiting to see him.
"Send her in." Fitz told Mrs. Handley. He had ignored her for two weeks but she didn't give up easily.
He stood to greet her. She walked in and closed the door.
"Mom, you shouldn't be here."
"Soren, you can't order me around. Your father has done that enough. I'll be damned if I'll let you do it too. I can go wherever I please. Just sit down and listen," Anne said.
Fitz was shocked at her words. She sounded angry. He sat down.
"After I found out what your father had threatened last week, I left him. I am preparing for a divorce. I was just as prepared to help you assassinate him. I immediately left the country to get permission from my family. You think your father is so powerful Fitz, but he is not. I am a legacy, born into the Organization. You father became a member when he married me. Unfortunately, I let him take the lead over the years because I wasn't interested in power like he was. I only wanted to raise my kids and take care of my family…my negligence caused all of this. I should have stepped up. Perhaps, Ivan wouldn't be locked up and you would be happy…" Anne was overcome with emotion.
"Mom, don't apologize I don't blame you for anything. If my life were different, I wouldn't have Olivia or my children. I don't blame you I just..."
"I am not done speaking," Anne said regaining her composure. "Your dad is prepared to make this right. He has information that will clear this all up. You, Olivia, and the kids are not in danger. I'll let him tell you the rest. I want to schedule a gathering for us all to come together…you, Kirsten, Ivan, Petra and Peter along with you dad and your family. He will make amends for all he has done to you."
"Ivan? No. I cannot have him anywhere near me or my family," Fitz said.
"I want you to go and visit him this week, Soren. What he did was unforgivable, but he is devastated. Please see him?" Anne asked.
"I don't think I can do that."
"I'll give you time to think about it. Demarchelier told me you were reconsidering the assassination, but I know you would never kill your father. We were both acting from emotion. Please get back with me about the gathering. I want you all to come to Denver so it's going to take some arranging. I, however, have not reconsidered the divorce. I am leaving him."
After Anne finished, she embraced Fitz for a long time and then she left. Fitz exhaled realizing that he'd been holding his breath.
"Sardines, Liv? I did not know you liked those. I can smell them from the bedroom." Fitz approached Olivia's plate where she had placed it on the counter. He bent over her food and sniffed. Brandishing hot sauce and Ritz crackers, she pushed him back and hopped onto the high bar stool.
"I have not had them since I was little. I saw my mom eating some when we visited her last week. They brought back memories of my dad. I brought a can home. I waited until everyone was out of the house because the smell can be overwhelming. I thought you were walking the dogs." She placed a sardine on a cracker, soaked it with hot sauce, and popped it in her mouth.
Fitz studied her sardine eating method. "It was my intention until I realized you were in the house all alone. Being alone with you is rare occurrence. I thought I would join you. Can I try one? They look appetizing when you eat them. I have never eaten sardines. My mom may have added these to tuna salad, but I never tried it."
Olivia prepared one for him. She picked up a cracker, topped it with a sardine, and ended with a healthy smattering of hot sauce. He leaned over the plate so she could place it in his mouth. She watched him chew and then swallow.
"You have to lean in to the bite. If one drop of this oil falls on the floor…anywhere else but your mouth or the plate…that smell will live on for days." Olivia made another one and prepared to gobble it down.
"These are pretty good. Make another one, please," Fitz said. She fed him the one she had just made for herself.
"It reeks in here! What is that smell?" Gerry came in the back door, sweaty from walking the dogs. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out bottled water. He guzzled down half a bottle.
"They are sardines," Fitz said, now making his own. "Do you want to try one? Thanks for walking Olitz and Patra for me."
Gerry shrugged his shoulders. Fitz built one for him and motioned for him to lean forward so it could be deposited in his mouth.
"Pretty good," Gerry said, taking Olivia's seat when she got up to get water.
"My dad ate sardines at least once a week. He would say, 'If you open them, they will come.' So this is what he meant, she said taking a sip of water. "I'll have to add sardines to our grocery list."
"Sorry, Livy," Fitz mumbled, mouth full.
"Dad, Liv…I was thinking…when we get back from Denver, I'll only have a week before I leave for college. That won't be nearly enough time to see all my friends. They have parti…outings planned for me so I need to be here. It would be impolite if I left, you know?" Gerry said.
Olivia moved the empty plate. "Both of you…come and wash your hands now. Gerry, your dad has the final say of course, but you would miss meeting your uncle and aunts and seeing where your dad grew up? There will be parti…I mean outings when you get back."
"If Liv's logic is not enough for you, a simple, 'no' should do. I am not leaving you unattended…" Fitz said.
"I could stay with a friend…come one, I'll never get a second chance to say goodbye to…"
"Yes you will, Gerry…you will have an entire week to when we get back." Fitz dried his hands and patted Gerry on the back.
"Ok," Gerry mumbled and schlepped up the steps.
"Fitz, are you going to see your brother today at Fairfield? I have been working with Dr. Davis and I could handle seeing him if he is allowed to come to Denver. There will be other people there and…"
"No. You will never have to see Ivan again. He will never be near you or the kids. I do plan to see him today for my mom's sake. I never thought she would leave dad. She has always been loyal to him."
"Whatever Michael has to say might shed some light on everything. I want you to enjoy this time with your family. I always wanted siblings growing up, but it never worked out that way. When I was a little girl, I promised myself I would marry someone with a big family and that we would have at least five children. Be careful what you wish for even as a child."
"By my count you are three for five…don't look at me like that…Karen and Gerry count but if you stick to the spirit of your wish, you owe it to yourself to try for five."
"I guess you should know that my mom added an additional duty to Quinn's job description. She has to ensure that I take my birth control pills each morning. I overheard them talking about it one day."
"That's the reason for the pill sorters?" Fitz asked.
"Yes."
"Interesting. Whether or not we add another little Grant, the trying is fun." He bent over grabbed her by the waist, and placed her over his shoulder caveman style. Quinn entered the room with the twins and Benjamin.
"Daddy! Daddy!" the twins shouted. They hugged his legs and motioned for him to pick them up also.
"The more Grants you add to the bunch, the less practice time you get. It's a classic catch-22, Fitz. Now please put me down."
"I did not think you would come," Ivan said. He and Fitz sat across from each other, at a small table. A guard stood outside the door.
"I am here for Mom. She says she is leaving him." Ivan did not respond. "So, she told you?"
"Yes, she did. She also told me about the reunion in Denver. I hope you did not come here today to forbid me from going. Despite what mom wants, I will not be there. When I am released, I am going to Budapest indefinitely. I should thank you for my freedom."
"Partly me, partly Michael. He threatened to release all three of you to get back at me for not doing what he wanted. I, in turn, called his bluff by releasing you first. Our life reads like a Greek tragedy all because of our father," Fitz said seeing the strain and age on his brother's face even though he was youngest.
"Blaming our parents only works for so long. Nothing my father did caused me to hurt you and your family the way I did. I will live with that for the rest of my life. I hope you and…your family…are moving towards wholeness…I really mean it, Soren. I do not want forgiveness…just to know that I did no permanent damage."
"We are all well."
"You are releasing your ex-wife and Nate? Where will they go?"
"Nate…to his mother and Mellie…to her parents." Even as Fitz said it he was uneasy about it. Olivia had convinced him to set them free. She said it would help her to move forward. Karen no longer wanted to visit Mellie. She wouldn't tell either of them the reason. One day after a visit, she announced it as her last one. No matter how much he and Olivia asked her, she would not give a reason.
"I have to get back. It was good to see you. When I see you, I see a better me, if that makes any sense," Ivan stood and extended his hand.
Fitz looked at his brother's face. It looked so much like his own. It was impossible to turn back the clock. He could only go forward. Fitz pulled him into a hug.
"Annie and Arthur just need a good spanking. You and Fitz have spoiled them. You don't negotiate with a two year old. You said no ice cream before lunch so you should have stuck to that." Mildred said. Olivia was half listening because she as trying to catch a nap in the comfortable deck chair by the pool.
The family was in Denver at Fitz's family estate for the family reunion his mother had planned. Quinn and Tom were absent. Olivia had insisted that they both take a vacation. Today was their second day in Denver. It was the day of the big reunion. The food was plentiful along with the fun and good will. Olivia felt great joy at seeing Fitz interact with his sister, Kirsten and twins, Peter and Petra. They each had their own families and were professionals in their own right. Kirsten and her husband owned an airline and had four children. The twins were married too and each had three children. Peter was president of a bank. Petra was CFO at a major bank. At that moment they were huddled together in a circle along with Fitz, talking and giggling as if no time had passed between now and their childhoods.
Peter and Petra had instantly fallen in love with Arthur and Annie. Each adult twin now held a twin in their arms. Annie and Arthur were each holding an ice cream cone even though Olivia had told them to wait until after lunch. Fitz was holding Benjamin. Karen and Gerry were playing water volleyball with their cousins.
Mildred looked away from her grandchildren and back at Olivia.
"Mom, give it a rest and enjoy yourself. Now is not the time for me to assert my motherly authority. I do not mind them having ice cream this one time before lunch. They are enjoying themselves with their aunt and uncle. They are happy. I am happy. Fitz is happy. Most importantly, I am free to catch a nap. Having Quinn as a nanny has spoiled me. I miss her, but she deserves this little vacation away from us. I hope she and Tom are having some quality time." Olivia said, sliding lower onto the chair. "You should go talk to Anne. She probably needs help with the food."
"She's been talking to Fitz's dad for awhile. I don't want to interrupt. Looks pretty intense. Quinn has let me down, I see." Mildred settled back in her chair and opened her O Magazine.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked sleepily.
"You are taking a nap, Olivia. When are you due?"
"Can't I take a nap without you thinking I am pregnant, Mom. That was embarrassing. Making Quinn monitor my birth control pill intake. I am a grown woman. I can handle my own reproductive processes. Do not take this the wrong way, Mommy, but you should really butt out."
"The thing is, Olivia, you never take naps until you are pregnant. But I will not say another thing about it. I'll keep my mouth. Take your nap. I'm glad that Gerry is no longer pouting and having some fun."
"Fitz and Olivia, I'd like to speak with you privately." Michael led them to a spot away from everyone.
"Samuel Reston. He was behind the threat. He was devastated when you wouldn't run on the ticket with him, Fitz. After Defiance, he felt you owed it to him. I, however, take full responsibility for what happened. Instead of containing him when I should, all I could see was you, me, us with all that power. It is an understatement to say that I have been selfish and self-centered, but I want to make it up you, your brothers and sisters, and Anne. Thanks for seeing Ivan. I think now he can make a life in Budapest." Michael hugged them both.
"Thanks, Dad.
Later that day, Michael gathered everyone together.
"I want to thank you, Anne, for bringing us all here together like this. You have always been the most important force in this family. I have met with each of you privately including Ivan to make my personal amends. Now I want to reiterate that I have always loved each of you even when it seemed like…or you perceived that I was only looking out for my own interests. I know that life is about family and intention…about loving those in your life. It is with the best intention that I announce my plan to dissolve the family trust and divide it among the 5 of you. Money and power cannot buy happiness, but it can undergird the happiness you already have despite the ways I may have hurt you. I don't blame your mother for wanting to leave me, but I hope she will reconsider in light of this gesture. I don't want the money or the power. You are the most important aspect of my life along with our children. Anne will you stay married to me?" Michael was down on one knee waiting for Anne's answer.
"I wonder if he consulted her about dissolving the trust. This gesture would be too grand for me. I bet that is a lot of money. I would have to think on that one," Mildred whispered in Olivia's ear.
"Mom, shush. This is so romantic," Olivia whispered wiping tears from her eyes.
Fitz kissed each of them, first Olivia and then Mildred on the cheek.
"Fitz, I am sure you understand what I mean. Olivia would too if her hormones were not spiking," Mildred said. "For your sakes, be happy for the cash since you will not stop reproducing. I guess it runs in the family." Mildred surveyed her grandchildren and all the offspring of Fitz's brothers and sisters.
A cheer went up as Anne accepted and Michael spun her around and around.
Olivia and Fitz walked hand in hand across the grassy plain. This was the same scene Fitz had seen a thousand times as a child, this big expanse of land under the clear sky. He was filled with joy in sharing it with his family, the one he had built with Olivia.
This was their last day in Denver, and they were looking for a spot to have a picnic before their departure that evening.
"What was Mildred talking about yesterday?" Fitz asked, squeezing Olivia's hand.
Olivia knew what he was asking about, but she feigned ignorance.
"What do you mean? My mom never stops talking especially when she has an opinion about something."
"She mentioned hormones spiking and reproduction. Is there something you want to tell me, Livy?"
She stopped walking and took both his hands in hers. "Yes, my mom thinks I…she thinks we…she thinks we are spoiling the twins."
Olivia laughed at the disappointed expression on his face. "What? That is not news. Are you pregnant, Livy?"
"Fitz, you should see your face. You look like a little boy waiting to open a gift on Christmas. Baby, I'm sorry, my mom…pun intended…planted that seed last night. I cannot take a nap without my mom thinking I am pregnant. That's all. She was meddling again. We are five strong and five we will stay okay. Stop looking so disappointed, Fitz. This has been a great visit. I am eager to get back and see what happened with Quinn and Tom." Olivia brushed his lips with hers and ran to catch up with the kids.
Fifteen Months Later
Olivia rushed into the waiting room, greeted the receptionist, and took a seat in the corner of the Dr. Davis' waiting room. She was 15 minutes late for her therapy appointment. No matter how early she rose in the morning, it had become impossible for her to be punctual with 4 children under 3 years old under her roof.
Her phone buzzed as soon as she sat down alerting her to a text message.
Quinn: alkfjaofasodkfjawofuawe0iorwekfafio aaaaaaa
Olivia chuckled at the message and dialed Quinn's cell phone.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Annie sang into the phone.
"Hello?" Quinn answered.
"Quinn, it's Liv. I just received—"
"Annie's text," Quinn said. "I promised I'd let her send you a text if she tried to go potty. She sat down on the potty for 2 seconds and then ran to get my phone. I couldn't resist her. Now she wants to text Fitz and anyone else she can think of which has made Arthur jealous. It might be time for some outside time."
"You know those two Quinn. Don't let them bamboozle you. How's Bennie and Gene?" asked Olivia. She lowered her voice because the lady sitting across from her was not trying to hide that she was listening intently.
"Bennie is transporting his toys from one chair to another. Gene is right here in my arms waiting for me to change his diaper," Quinn explained. Olivia didn't note any strain in her voice. She sounded happy as always.
"Quinn, I'll be home as soon as this appointment is over," Olivia assured.
"Take your time. Don't rush home for me. Everything is under control. I'll see you when you get...gotta go the twins just ran upstairs I forgot to put up the gate. See you," Quinn said hastily before hanging up.
"Aren't you Olivia Pope Grant?" the well-dressed woman sitting across from her asked. The woman leaned forward. "My girlfriends are not going to believe I saw you. Is President Grant going to run again? You would make a great First Lady? How's that new baby of yours? That's four right with the twins, your little boy and now another little one. You look great. Do you mind if I take a picture?"
The door opened and Dr. Davis' assistant appeared. "Mrs. Grant. Hi. You can come on back."
Olivia was thankful for the interruption. "I love your pearls," Olivia said to the nosey woman before she escaped from her inquisition. Olivia knew that flattering would make the woman forget that Olivia hadn't answered any of her questions.
"Looks like I showed up just in time," the assistant said. "Mrs. Bergeron prides herself on gossip so I am sure she was particularly tickled to run into you. Aren't you supposed to come in by 9:45 to miss the other clients?"
"Yes. I was running late so it's my own fault," Olivia said as the assistant led her into Dr. Davis' office.
"Olivia!" Dr. Edison said in a booming voice. "Good morning, it's been, what, about 5, 6 months? Have a seat. Thanks Daphne."
Daphne closed the door and left.
Olivia shook his hand and sat down on the familiar plush sofa. Up until giving birth to Eugene, she'd met with him two times a week.
"A little over 5 months. I had my last session the day before going into labor."
"You look great. Not like a woman who just gave birth. So that makes 4 little ones right…the twins, Annie and Arthur, Benjamin, and now…?
"Eugene Thomas Grant. He's 5 months old," Olivia beamed, extending her cell phone. "Here is a picture of my crew."
"Beautiful. So how are things?" he asked looking down at this notes. "The last time we talked you were very anxious about having another baby so soon. Bring me up to speed, Olivia."
"Well, umm. I'm great. We are trying to potty train the twins, but it is not going as well as we'd like. They are used to doing everything together and they don't understand that they can't go potty together. Benjamin is perfect and ahead of schedule as usual. He's walking. I secretly gave him a pull up one night—they twins don't like to share—and he used it in Arthur's potty. I won't put pressure on him. He's just over one year old. Eugene is a good baby. I feel guilty because I haven't even started his baby book. Fitz is doing well. His organization has grown. They've added a micro loan program for women entrepreneurs. Gerry had a good first year at college. He was only home for two weeks then he had to be back for his part time job. Karen is away at camp. She's a camp counselor again this summer."
"Olivia, you forgot about someone, didn't you? What about you?" Dr. Davis asked, looking up from his note taking.
She laid her head back against the sofa. "Hmm…me. Well, I don't really want to say."
"You know my policy, Olivia. I'm not going to force you to tell me anything. This is your work. I am the facilitator."
"I want my husband to…I want Fitz to run for President again. There, I said it."
"Could you unpack that some, please?"
"You know my history with Fitz and the circumstances of our relationship from the very beginning. Our affair, Defiance, and The Organization… have put so many layers of complication on that time of our life. For so long, I equated that time with all that was wrong with us. Fitz's dad wanted him to run, but I was against it at the time. Since giving birth to Eugene, I realize that I don't want to go back to OPA. I miss DC. I miss politics. I miss the rush of the campaign. I even miss the grueling hours. But mostly I miss seeing Fitz with the people. He has accomplished so much with his Center, but I want to see him in that leadership role."
"Have you talked with your husband about this?"
"No. I can't. I am not really sure if he would want to be President. Then there is his father and their issues, which have been resolved. The more I think about him running, the more I know it is the wrong thing for me to think about," Olivia said. "But I can't stop thinking about it. I fantasize about it. At the same time, I feel guilty. Shouldn't I be content with what I have?" Olivia rested her head in her hands.
"Olivia, this is good. I don't have any judgment about whether or not your husband should for president. It is good and healthy for you to be honest about your feelings. Continue to explore them. What is your truth about all this? Why do you miss those things you listed? How will you articulate your feelings to Fitz? When you are ready, you will be able to talk to him honestly about this. You must stay true to whatever your truth is. When you come back, next week I hope you can share some of the answers to these questions."
Olivia wanted to talk more, but she knew her time was up. "Okay. Thank you doctor. I'll see you next week."
"Olivia, he'd have my vote," Dr. Edison said before she closed the door.
Olivia smiled at Daphne as she led her out to the waiting room.
When Tom drove off, she covered her heart as it beat quickly against her chest. This was the first time she had spoken to anyone about this. She had the distinct feeling that finally sharing this had opened Pandora's Box.
"Tom, please stop by Fitz's office."
"You want me to run for what?" Fitz said. Olivia stood behind him kneading the tension out of his shoulders. "Right there, baby. I've been sitting at this desk for too long today."
"I am not joking, Fitz. This is all I've been thinking about for the last 6 months. There are no viable candidates on the Republican side. They are all right wing lunatics. You'd win the primary by a landslide. You don't have to tell your father until after you've formed a committee, although, it would be difficult to keep it from him."
"Livy, how did you have time to think about this? You just gave birth to Gene. What about OPA?"
Olivia walked around the chair and sat in his lap. She hung her arms loosely around his neck and looked at him straight on. "I'm up to my eyeballs in your babies right now, but that hasn't tempered my burning desire to help you run for President. I know you can win without the help of your father or the Organization. I believe in you. I believe in us. I know we can do this." She gave him a smack on the lips and continued her diatribe while walking from one end of his office to another.
"We will have our share of hurdles to overcome. There will be those who will always see me as the home wrecker. Then there are the quiet and overt racists. I can't guarantee we will win, but I want to try."
Olivia stopped pacing and faced Fitz. His expression was unreadable.
"Fitz? What are you thinking?"
He rose and stood before her. "Livy, this revelation of yours is very unexpected. I don't know how I feel about it. The obstacles you mentioned are real, but they don't even scratch the surface considering my family. Running for President would mean that I could no longer interact with my real family, at least not in public, since everyone knows me as Fitzgerald Grant. Are you ready for all that scrutiny again? What about Mellie? She has been a non-issue for us, but will that change during a campaign? I will stop there, because there are many more long talks to be had. At this point, the cons outweigh the pros."
"You're right. Thanks for considering this. I need to get back. Quinn is probably ready to quit. She's been alone with the kids for too long."
"She can handle another hour alone," he said with a smirk as he locked the door.
"Why is it that you feel entitled to have sex with me every time I visit your office, Mr. Grant?" she asked taking a seat on the sofa.
"I just want to fool around, Mrs. Grant."
"Okay, remember that, Mr. Grant."
"Olivia, are you sure about this? Tom and I can wait until our day off to go out. I couldn't leave you with the kids like this," Quinn said.
"Please, Quinn. Fitz and I can handle these little monsters. You'll be back tomorrow, Olivia said, pushing her to the door.
"But…it's just 6 months. Who celebrates dating for 6 months? Did you and Fitz?"
"Quinn, it doesn't matter what everyone else does okay? We will be fine. I'm just glad I overheard you canceling your plans."
"I booked the wrong night. It wasn't supposed to happen tonight," Quinn said.
"Quinn, I am not arguing with you any longer. Go!" Olivia pushed her out of the front door.
"See kids. Ms. Quinn is under your spell. She doesn't want to spend one night away from you," Fitz said to the kids. He held Gene in one arm. The twins sat on either side of him on the sofa. Benjamin stood between his legs bouncing up and down.
"Daddy, Ms. Quinn is gone bye, bye!" said Annie.
"Daddy, Ms. Quinn come back toomao!" said Arthur.
"Mommy. Potty," said Benjamin.
"What, Bennie?" asked Fitz, leaning down towards him. "Livy, Bennie just said, "potty."
Olivia looked at him wide eyed. Remembering her one time potty lesson. She walked over and scooped Bennie into her arms. He grabbed her cheeks and said, "Mommy. Potty." He pointed to the bathroom. "Okay, baby," she answered and walked him to the bathroom. He pulled at his waistband. Olivia bent down and pulled down his blue jeans. He pulled the Velcro from his pampers, pushed them down and began to pee standing up. A little puddle formed on the floor at his feet. Olivia couldn't believe it.
Fitz brought her out of her trance, "I didn't know you were potty training Bennie too. Once he learns to aim, he will be good to go. Good job, buddy!"
"No, Bennie, that mine, potty!" Arthur screamed. Everyone had witnessed Bennie's accomplishment. Arthur went into full crying mode. Annie ran to the other bathroom screaming, "I go potty too!" Gene looked content and uninterested.
"Okay, Liv what just happened?" Fitz asked.
"I secretly taught Bennie how to potty one time. I didn't want him to be left out. Wouldn't you know he practically got it on one try? He's not quite 2 so I was going to wait. But this was genius! Now Annie and Arthur will be trained in no time. A little healthy competition is always good," Olivia said. "Arthur, baby don't cry. We can share potty."
Fitz chuckled and went off in search of Annie.
"Tonight was nice, Livy. Just the six of us. I wish Gerry and Karen could have been here too. It's rare that it's just us. I love Quinn, but you know what I mean, right?"
They lay in bed after a long, eventful night with their brood.
"Yes, it was very nice," Olivia said with a yawn. "But ten times more tiring. I think we have a little genius in the making. Bennie is remarkable. I think Gene will do the same."
"Annie and Arthur are just as remarkable. It's obvious who your favorite is, Livy!"
"I don't have a favorite! I love all of them the same including Karen and Gerry," Olivia said.
"Hey, I have a bet for you, Livy. I'll bet you twenty dollars Tom isn't getting lucky tonight and Quinn is going to come back before morning."
"Okay, bet. It's 10:30 now. I say she'll be back at 7 tomorrow morning."
The clock read 12 midnight.
"Livy. Livy." Fitz whispered. He pushed against Liv's shoulder to wake her.
"Wha-? You get em,'" Olivia mumbled. She turned away from him and buried deeper into the pillow.
"No. It's Quinn. She's back. Listen."
They heard a door close outside. A couple of minutes later they heard the alarm be disarmed and rearmed.
"Yes! I won," Fitz said triumphantly.
"This doesn't mean anything. Maybe they got it done earlier," Olivia said before trying to go back to sleep.
"That wasn't the bet. I won. You owe me twenty bucks," he said.
"Go to sleep. I'll have to feel her out about what happened to see who really won."
Fitz began tickling her all over until she giggled uncontrollably, "Stop it, Fitz!"
"Not until you agree to the original bet."
"But—" she said. He continued his tickling tirade. "Okay. Okay."
She let some residual laughs escape as she looked up at him lying on top of her. He lowered his lips to hers.
Quinn heard Olivia's laughter coming from their bedroom when she passed by. She smiled at the fact that she wore no bra or panties. She'd lost them to Tom during a long game of strip poker. She'd actually lost all her clothes, but she needed her dress to wear home.
"Do you think he'll do it?" Quinn said. She stopped and pulled her hand from Tom's grasp. They were on a stroll down the trail beside the cottage on the Grant estate. Today had been a day off for both of them. They spent every minute of it together. First they toured the Atlanta Botanical Gardens and then had lunch at a nearby restaurant. They visited the Georgia Aquarium since Quinn wanted to scope it out as a possible place to take the kids. Now, it was 5 in the evening and they were both due back on duty at 6. Olivia and Fitz had planned to go out for dinner.
Tom placed his hands on her shoulders. "You've been on pins and needles all day about this. Why?"
"It's going to sound kinda weird, but everything is perfect right now, Tom. There are no threats to the family. I have a handle on everything. All that is going to change if he runs for president. Will they keep me as a nanny if he wins? What about us? You'll have to go back to D.C. too." Quinn said.
Tom hugged her. "You are worrying too much, sweetie," he said, rubbing her back. He looked into her eyes. "First of all, you and I are a done deal." Quinn smiled involuntarily. "Second of all, Olivia and Fitz think of you like family. Not to mention you are invaluable to them for 4 reasons, Annie, Arthur, Benjamin, and Eugene. Each new baby is job security. I don't know if he's going to run, Quinn. I really don't have an opinion about it. Olivia is not going to be happy if he doesn't. I know that much. Be ready for some tension in the house. Don't worry. We'll face whatever happens together. Working for them is never boring."
Quinn considered his words for a minute and then hugged him. She let out a long sigh then lifted up on her toes to kiss him.
"I don't know what I'd do without you Tom," she said. She wiped her smudged lipstick from his bottom lip.
"Good thing you'll never have to find out. It's time to get back. For what it's worth, I think he's going to tell her his decision tonight when they are at dinner. I'll text you because I'll know based on how they act in the car on the way home," Tom said.
Olivia stilled the rocking chair with her foot. When she attempted to unlatch Eugene from her breast, he didn't want to move. She unlatched anyway, causing him to fret.
"Shh, Gennie, you're full," she said rubbing his back as he lay on her shoulder. His fretting increased.
"Olivia, I'll take him. You don't want to be late for your reservation," said Mildred.
"It's fine. I'll nurse him a little more. Are the twins and Bennie still eating?"
"They just finished. The twins are playing hide and seek with Fitz now. Bennie is trying to help Quinn clean up. I would swear he was the oldest if I hadn't been at the hospital to know the truth," said Mildred.
"That's just Bennie," Olivia said. She smiled and stroked Gene's bald head.
"I know you want Fitz to run again, Olivia, but I don't think he should. Gene is almost 6 months old and you're not pregnant again. That's a blessing in itself. Why can't you enjoy the peace? I hope he doesn't say yes just to please you."
"I know how you feel about it, but this is our decision."
"I know. I know. But I will still speak my mind, okay?" Mildred said.
Olivia shook her head in agreement. She unlatched Gene again and placed him in his crib.
"Promise me you won't get angry if he decides not to, Olivia. He had to consider your feelings, but it is ultimately up to him whether or not he wants to puts himself out there again."
Olivia shook her head in silent agreement with her mother. I won't be angry because he's going to say yes. Olivia thought.
Later that night Olivia and Fitz sat in a secluded booth at The Riverwood Terrace Restaurant. They sipped on sparkling cider. The slice of cheesecake they planned to share sat between them on the table.
"How's the micro loan program going?" said Olivia.
"Surprisingly well. My CFO was not sold on it until we received those sizeable grants. I think we're going to expand it in 6 months," Fitz said. He reached for the fork and scooped a piece of the dessert. He extended it to her and slipped it in her mouth for a taste. He tasted a piece and then replaced the fork.
He reached for her hand, and Olivia's heart quickened.
"Livy, I have given what you said about running a lot of thought. We've talked about it at length, and I know how important this is to you, but I have no interest in running for president again."
Olivia frowned, not sure if she heard him correctly. "What?"
"Honey, I don't want to run for office. I am proud of what I am accomplishing at the Center. What you want really matters to me, but your desire for me to run can't be the only reason for me to run," he said.
"But Fitz, you would make a great president without all the encumbrances of your last run."
"I thought about that. If you ask me to name the best aspect of my last campaign and subsequent presidency, I would say that meeting you was the only thing I value about that campaign and my short time in office. There was nothing else. No one should run for that office unless they want it one hundred percent. I don't want it at all, Livy. I am happy with my life. We've overcome so many obstacles to get where we are. I don't want to upset the balance we've created. It's not just us now. Does that make sense? He cupped her face in his hands searching her eyes to get a sense of her reaction. Her expression as filled with disappointment.
"Okay...I…It's okay. I can't argue with that. I thought you wanted it on your own terms and if I was on board," she said, smiling weakly.
"No. I ran at first because it was my fate. Then I met you. You were so passionate about getting me elected. I was just passionate about you. I only wanted you." Fitz let the words settle between them. He continued to observe her.
"Livy, is this really about me running for president or is there something else?"
"No, there's nothing else. I understand your decision," Olivia said.
"From your look of disappointment, you thought I was going to run again."
"Yes, I did. But I get it. This is not something you want to do." She took another bite of cheesecake and shared a bite with him.
"I know I can do more for people through the Center."
"Okay, Fitz. I understand and accept your decision. We can talk about something else now." Olivia poured more cider in her glass. She wished it held something stronger.
"When are you going back to work? Gene will be 6 months old soon. We've been careful so there won't be any more surprise babies showing up. You'll be able to get back into the flow of OPA. We can try for a little girl in a couple of years. I want you to be happy and fulfilled in your work as well as our life together."
"I'll go back pretty soon. Harrison has been looking into the Madeline Bancroft case again. I never put much effort into it because I was too preoccupied with everything that was going on with us. I know we can crack open that case. I love our life together, Fitz. Never doubt that."
"I know you can do anything you set out to do, Mrs. Grant. I don't doubt that you love our family. " Fitz whispered. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. They heard the sound of a camera quickly taking pictures. When they pulled back, the flashes were blinding.
"President Grant are you considering a run in 2016?" a scruffy looking man brandishing the camera questioned. Tom appeared and blocked the man, providing an exit for their escape.
Fitz grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her through the restaurant.
The manager met them at the door. "I'm sorry, Mr. President. I don't know how he got in. Everything is on the house tonight."
Fitz passed money to the manager. "For the server..."
"No, sir. I will take care of that also."
"Okay. Aside from this everything else was wonderful," Fitz assured him before they left.
Tom opened the door when they made it to the SUV. "That won't happen again, sir, ma'am."
"Tom, it wasn't your fault. Paparazzi are pests, nothing more, nothing less," Olivia said tapping him on the arm as she and Fitz hopped the SUV.
They sat for a while in silence on the drive back home. Olivia gazed outside watching the scenery change from city lights to the muted lights of the suburbs.
Fitz gazed at Olivia. He wondered if she was really okay with his decision. At one point in his decision making process, he seriously considered running just because he knew it would please her. Then he would think about all the effort he would have to exert lying about his reasons for running.
"Karen will be home from camp in a couple of weeks," Olivia said, continuing to look out the window.
"Annie will be happy about that," Fitz said.
In the front seat, Tom had sent the promised text to Quinn before they pulled off.
Tom: He's not running.
Quinn: Is she okay?
Tom: I don't know. Seems okay.
Olivia sat at the kitchen table alone, sipping tea. The microwave light provided the only illumination. They were back home from dinner. Fitz was on a conference call with a group from Paris. All the kids were asleep.
"So how was dinner?" Quinn asked. "Do you mind if I turn on the light?"
"Sure, Quinn. It was very good. We did run into an overzealous cameraman looking for pictures. He snapped a picture of Fitz and me. We were kissing. He won't get many takers. No outlets will be interested in that picture." Olivia smiled at Quinn.
"You'd be surprised, Olivia. Why are you sitting here in the dark?"
"I wanted Fitz to run for president, but he's not interested. I'll admit that I am disappointed. I'll get over it. When Karen gets back from camp, I'm going back to work part-time until I can wean Gene from nursing. He's going to be harder to wean than the others were, I think. Genie thinks my breasts are pacifiers."
"Quinn, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Olivia."
When Olivia felt Fitz get into bed, she pretended to be asleep.
Fitz propped up on one elbow and stared down at her. He knew she was awake.
"Are you sleep, Livy?"
She didn't answer. His body was cool against her warm skin except for his arousal. It was hot against her when he moved closer. She continued to feign sleep, this time turning over on her stomach and away from him. He reached out and attempted to pull her closer, but he couldn't. She has holding on to the bed as leverage. He lay on top of her and released her grip on the bed. Olivia stiffened her body like a rod, which made it difficult, but not impossible for him to turn her over on her back.
"What are you doing?" he asked when she crossed her legs in an effort to keep them closed against him. He pried them open, but she closed them back again. They struggled against each other.
"I'm saying no, Fitz," she said, breathless with exertion.
"No?" he grasped both of her wrists with one hand and pulled them above her head. With his other hand, he felt between her legs.
"Yes," he said when he felt her wetness. He released her wrists and slid down her body until he could replace his fingers with his lips. Olivia relaxed her body and let him part her thighs. After he'd had his fill, he lifted himself above her. Her legs rested in the bend of each elbow. He looked into her eyes before entering her swiftly. She gasped and he kissed her to muffle her moans.