"Remind me who's idea this was to be traveling up this river?" "I say it was Susan's." "Wanker!" The three ships laughed. Their accents would suggest they were British as would the flags that flew from their masts but let it be known that Discovery, Susan Constant, and Godspeed all identified with Virginia as their home. "Susan, as flagship I know you don't have to tell us what's going on but could you at least tell us where we're going?" Discovery asked. "It's a surprise." Susan smirked. "I figured you say that." Discovery sighed while Godspeed just rolled her eyes fondly. The three had been together for centuries and the small talk came easily as did the jokes.
"Are we there yet?" "Godspeed do not start that silly game again." Susan groaned but as usual her request went ignored. "I have to go to the bathroom." Discovery whined. "Are we there yet?" "Where are we going anyways?" "Will there be candy?" "I'm hungry!" Susan just groaned, centuries of practice allowing her to tune out the chatter.
She paused when she noticed her fleetmates were not with her anymore. Tacking back around, not an easy task for a ship her size in this small channel, she turned to face them. They were both staring at her in shock. "What?" She asked. "Did I say something?" "You, kinda did." Discovery said in a slow voice, as if she was uncertain how to continue. "If either of you have something to say, just say it." Susan sighed. "You spoke, in Powhatan. We haven't heard you speak the language since, well, that day." Godspeed replied. Susan winced, trying to force clear the memories with little avail.
"Those savages have gone too far this time! Burn their villages to the ground! Take everything you can find! Let them know who the true masters of the land are!" "No, this is not the way!" "Quiet Susan, unless you want to join them! ATTACK!" "NO!"
The memory kept replaying over and over again in her head. The memory she had tried so hard to keep hidden all these years. The memory of that day when she betrayed a friend and the war began! "ENOUGH!" She roared, unable to take the strain any longer. "I KNOW WHAT I DID WAS WRONG! I BETRAYED A FRIEND, A BROTHER! I ALLOWED A WAR THAT NEVER SHOULD'VE HAPPENED! I FORCED A PEOPLE FROM THEIR LAND! IT WAS WRONG. AND I'M SORRY! I'M SO-SO SORRY. PLEASE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I-I CAN'T. I just can't..." Susan collapsed on her side. She was vaguely aware of Discovery and Godspeed both giving cries of alarm. "I was, going upriver to the place. Hidden, covered by our master's taint! But the pool of the spirits can never be truly destroyed." "You mean, you-you were going to..." Discovery couldn't finish the sentence. "Why didn't you say anything?! We could've helped you." Godspeed cried. "No, no one can help me." Susan sobbed. "I earned my suffering a long time ago."
Susan's gaze shifted skywards. The stars seemed much closer now than they had before. She could hear voices, just on the edges of her hearing. Voices that she knew weren't Discovery's or Godspeed's. The thought crossed her mind that she was dead or dying. Before something told her to rebuke that. She was neither. She was still very much alive. She was just experiencing what she was told was called a "vision". Is this what healer's saw when they communicated with their ancestors? Susan's guilt was overwhelming her and she let it flow. Ships had their religion on the stars, believing that each light in the sky was one of their ancestors, guiding the way across the ocean. As a former healer herself, Susan had a stronger connection to this belief than most and perhaps that was why she was more able to empathize with the Powhatan. And why it hurt her all the more when she was forced to betray them. Betray them for a country that knew nothing but greed and conquest. As her tears ebbed a sense of peace washed over her and she knew, somehow she knew that not just her ancestors but the tribe's as well were forgiving her. They forgave her for what she had done. "Thank you, th-thank you." She sobbed. "Return to your home, Cloud Carrier." Even without the use of her Powhatan name, the tones of the chief were unmistakable to Susan's ears, even now. "And let the past guide you, not cover you."
Susan found herself resting against Discovery, the smaller ship gently licking her forecastle. Godspeed stood guard nearby. The stars were beginning to fade as the sun rose over the horizon. Susan groaned. "Was I out all night?" She asked. Discovery paused in her licking. "Yes. Godspeed and I took turns watching you. We figured you must be having some kind of, important dream." She replied. "It was important." Susan began as she calmly allowed her memories to become resurgent. But instead of the guilt she used to feel, she could watch them replay in her mind with the acceptance that came with knowing what she had done was wrong but also knowing she was forgiven for it.
Slowly, she righted herself. The morning breeze was blowing in off the headlands and as it traveled through what remained of the forest, in the few trees that still stood, Susan could hear the spirits singing once again. Eagle with her majestic wings spread across the sky, like the clouds of canvas the ships carried. Mountain, guiding her, helping her through her journey even after she had turned her back on the ways of its people. Mountain was always with her, bringing up the courage within her heart, strong and steady. Steady as the beating drum. Susan, her nose pointed into the wind, closed her eyes as she connected with the part of herself she had thought lost so long ago. When she had chosen England over the Powhatan. Despite the loss of the forest, the rivers once teaming with fish now clogged with pollution and waste, her brothers and sisters, remained. Discovery and Godspeed copied their flagship, Discovery with a cheerful grin on her face. Godspeed had a knowing eye on her flagship before she closed it, leaning into the gentle breeze as her own spirit joined the chorus. Susan tilted her head back and allowed a soft smile to adorn her face as the three relished in the reunion of who they were always meant to be. Cloud Carrier, Flying Fluke, and Eagle's Talon.
Seasons go and Seasons come
Steady as the Beating Drum
Plum to Seed to Bud to Plum
Steady as the Beating Drum