Underdog was silent for the rest of the day. He microwaved food and then laid on the couch listening to his radio, not saying a word to Lewis. Lewis just laid in bed thinking for a long time, Don McLean's American Pie playing faintly in the background.

Lewis couldn't place what it was, but he felt a weird connection to the song, despite it being his first time hearing it in full. Maybe the dying music was Underdog. Maybe he was the lonely teenage broncin' buck, or maybe he was the generation lost in space. Maybe his mom was the girl who sang the blues.

Maybe Polly was the flame to Underdog's devil, she certainly seemed to be his "only friend." Then again maybe Underdog was the flame to lifelong struggle's devil, "no angel born in hell could break that Satan's spell!" certainly felt like something Lewis could pin to his own anxiety.

It wasn't the song he expected to fall asleep to, anyway.

It had been weeks. Riff and Taps had ditched their own apartment for couch and floor right next to couch, stay together should anyone have a realization. Polly had told them all the spots Lewis ever liked to be, Polly had told them how Lewis was anxious most of the time and if he ever felt in danger he'd get home fast as he could. They'd searched those areas extensively, Lewis nowhere to be found.

The only realization Polly had was then. Riff and Taps, quietly curled into eachother on the couch, staring at the screen of her boss giving news. A missing child report for Lewis had come and gone.

"My son's dead." She muttered, quietly, voice completely broken but with no sobs left in her.

"Don't say that Polly," Riff muttered, getting up.

"Why not? It's true." She stood, deeply inhaling, disappearing behind a wall. When she was gone, Taps sighed heavily.

"Oh don't you start talking like that either." said Riff, though his voice was just as defeated.

He sighed again, looking at him. Riff frowned, moving forward to hug him. Taps grabbed back tightly as if he'd been longing for it. They embraced for a long time, not saying a word, the only sounds their breathing and faint more depressing news stories.

Eventually Riff pulled away, smiling, kissing his nose.

"Hey. I love you."

But Taps looked too distraught to reply. Riff just frowned again.

"...we're gonna find him, babe."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head, "It's almost been a month."

"What's time got to do with anything?"

"It's just," he chuckled, unhappily, "It's been so long, Riff. So much can be done in a month."

"That… That doesn't mean anything has been."

"When did you start looking on the bright side of things?"

"Whenever my husband came home distressed about a son I didn't know he had."

"...we aren't really arguing about this now, are we?"

Riff scooted off of him, crossing his legs. "I really don't want to but… we've been together what, fifteen years? And you didn't tell me you had a son in at least half of them."

"You knew about the child support!"

"I knew about the child support seven years in!" Riff raised his voice a bit, then sighed, "I'm sorry, Taps, you'd be upset too."

"...I'm not angry at you about this, Riff, I'm angry at myself. I was scared to tell you because I thought if you knew you'd leave me."

"That doesn't excuse it."

"I know," he said, voice breaking, "I know. And I'm so so sorry I did that."

Riff sighed, "It's whatever. Can't go back now."

"I love you… I love you so much, Riff."

"I love you, too, Taps."

He leaned up to gently kiss him.

"Is it bad I love him?" Taps went on, "Lewis? I've never even… met him. All we're connected by is a contract. And… if he's been kidnapped and we do get him back-"

"And we will."

"-what if he doesn't even want to meet either of us! I-I mean…. Who knows what his kidnapper looked like, and who knows how he'd react to you! Your criminality was telecast!"

Riff smiled, "I'm sure he's a good kid. He'll get it. Even if it takes a bit, he'll get it… and William Taptap Clark, when Lewis gets back you will be a great father, whatever situation you and Polly figure out."

Taps held his face, lovingly, "That's my fear, Riff," he let out a single unhappy laugh, "Vain as it sounds I think I would do good as a father. My fear is he won't come back so I can be. And I'll never get to meet him and protect him and love him…" his voice broke and tears he'd been holding back fell down his face.

Riff lunged forward immediately to hug him, Taps hopelessly trying to stop his crying. Husband hugging and cooing him, feebly wiping at his own face to stop the flood from his eyes to no avail…. he felt helpless.

"It's alright, it's alright…" Riff muttered, moving back, kissing his forehead, "We're gonna get him back, I promise. Okay?"

"Okay…" he sniffed.

"I love you, Taps."

"I love you, too…"