Disclaimer - I don't own ZOMBIES or any of the characters involved. Copyright to Walt Disney Studios. Names of BG zombies are mine, characters themselves aren't. The song Catalyst is by Bowling For Soup.

Well, here we are, at the final (proper) chapter of Tattooed Mistakes (Are Gonna Fade Over Time). This has been fun, huh? :D I decided it needed to end on fluff. It's hard to give this story a real happy ending, so the least I can do is leave it at a nice place. Although, there is still an epilogue yet to come next week~

It's been a while since I updated any other fics but don't worry, now that TM is coming to a close, I'll get back to Limelight and BtB and AGAZ and all that good stuff very soon!

Chapter 10

He had definitely calmed down since Alonzo came home, Rizzo could see that clear as day, but she couldn't help worrying about her brother still. Sometimes she wondered if Zephyr was becoming too dependent on his boyfriend, and as his big sister, she felt it was her job to address the issue. Winter break was coming to an end and although Zephyr had tried to enjoy his time, especially now that Al was with him again, Rizzo knew neither of them were coping well enough. But they could start to heal if they would just let go of the last threads of insecurity they were holding onto.

They weren't going to fix everything so soon. Maybe even at all. But they'd never know if they didn't take the first step beyond their mistakes.

BFZ were still on hiatus seeing as Alonzo was having enough trouble readjusting back into his normal life, and it didn't help that their previous audience had diminished by about fifty percent. A lot of people didn't want to see a group fronted by a murderer. Despite that, Zephyr had managed to pick up his guitar again at times when he was alone in his room. Up until now, Rizzo had always chosen to leave him be when she heard him playing. That was his time for himself, but she felt like this talk couldn't wait any longer. She burst into his room, unannounced, as usual, and he swung round to glare at her.

"Rude!"

"Don't care."

"What do you want? I'm busy."

She folded her arms, "We gotta talk."

"Can't it wait?"

With a shake of her head, Rizzo stepped towards him, "Oh, I have waited long enough and I am not seeing any progress."

She went to grab his guitar and he jerked back.

"You have got to quit touching my stuff, Riz."

"Put it down," she demanded, "You need to talk this out and I don't see you trying to talk to nobody else."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes but did as he was told, "Alright, fine. But what do you even mean by 'progress'?"

"I mean you're not getting anywhere! Sure, Alonzo's back now so you're not angry all the time or moping around anymore but I can tell there's still something wrong here. And it's because you won't admit there was ever anything wrong."

That only confused him.

"Of course there was something wrong...!"

"Something wrong with you."

"I am fine," he insisted, "What matters now is helping Al get through it."

"Al's not the only one involved, though. You need-"

"I need to be there for him," at least he was calm. Not like when he and Alonzo were separated, "This isn't about me. It was never about me, it's about him. It's my job to take care of him."

Rizzo softened for a moment, "Zephyr..."

"You've heard what they've all been saying about him," he went on, "He's the one hurting here."

"You are, too, baby."

"I'm not. I don't have a reason to. Not when Al's still-"

"Stop right there," she said firmly, holding up a finger, "You listen to me, Zephyr, you literally witnessed a murder. Yes, it was your boyfriend who did it and yes, he did it to save you, I am not going to deny that, but that doesn't change the fact that you witnessed a murder. Right after you almost lost your own life. That hit you hard. And then on top of all that, right when you needed him most, Alonzo got taken away from you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be worried about him but there is more than enough room in your heart to worry about him and you. You gotta take care of yourself, too!"

He looked like he'd just been slapped and Rizzo almost regretted saying it, but he needed to hear it. He needed to accept it.

"Riz, I..." he struggled to speak as tears pricked his eyes, "I-I can't..."

Carefully, Rizzo placed a hand on his arm, "Tell me what's wrong, Zeph."

That's all it took.

"... I just want Al back...!" Zephyr sobbed, "I want him back to his old self, I want him laughing again and I want us to be playing music together again but..." he raked his fingers through his hair, "I'm being so selfish saying that. I want..."

"You want him to be comforting you again, don't you?"

She cocked her head, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. He sniffed and nodded, and Rizzo opened her arms prompting him to hug her.

"He's had it so much worse than me, I can't expect that from him!"

"Oh, Zephyr..." she soothed, swaying him back and forth like they were little kids again, "Baby, you both went through something horrible, it's not about who had it worse. You deserve the comfort just as much as he does."

He stepped back, wiping his eyes, and Rizzo kept her hands on his arms, "So, what do I do?"

"Talk to him. Tell him what you're going through, tell him what's getting to you."

"That's just gonna make him feel even more guilty."

"He needs to hear it. How are either of you supposed to deal with the problem if you don't face those feelings head on? Zephyr, you have got to stop bottling up your emotions like this, it's not healthy."

Zephyr frowned, "Do I really do that? Roz said something like that a while ago..."

"Good Z, Zephyr, sometimes you'd think you never felt anything in your life!" she laughed a little and he just barely cracked a smile. Rizzo smirked, then playfully squished his cheeks and put on a baby voice, "Aw, is that a smile, cutie?"

He swatted her away, "Get off!"

– TATTOOED MISTAKES –

ONE YEAR AGO – JANUARY

"...I just need him home. Everything will be fine when he's back home."

"Why? What exactly will Alonzo being back home do? Surely it can't everything."

"Because once he's back, they'll all see there's nothing wrong with him. He's not dangerous or a threat, he's the same guy he's always been!"

"You want to know what I think?"

"No, but you're gonna tell me."

"You found comfort in Alonzo being around you all the time. That was the relationship you had with him for years, and it was all you knew. So now, on top of dealing with the trauma of what you saw him do, you've lost that reliability and consistency, and you're struggling to find something else to depend on in the same way. All of this anger and denial, it's all a response to that loss. You don't want to accept that he's not around anymore and you lash out at anything that reminds you of that fact. But when Alonzo is released from containment, Zephyr, you have to understand it won't immediately make things better. Acting up like this won't solve the problem. And it's going to take more than just bringing him home."

"I just need Al back. The rest of them might need more than that to believe things are OK, but I just need Al."

"You can tell yourself that all you want, Zephyr, but you know you're just as scared of what else could happen as everyone els-"

"I'm sick of people telling me how I feel! I don't need this, I don't need to be here, I need Alonzo back home in Zombie Town and that's all I need!"

– TATTOOED MISTAKES –

Alonzo had done practically nothing but apologise since the day he was released, and every "sorry" that left his mouth broke his mother's heart. Christmas had been quiet in their house, aside from a visit from Lindzey (and their dad), and so had New Year's Eve. She was clearly trying her best to keep his spirits up but it never seemed to last. And he felt the need to apologise for that, as well. But he was getting there. Talking with Lindzey, he could tell she didn't think any less of him. Zach and Roz were always ready to defend him when he needed it and of course, Zephyr refused to let him forget for even a second how much he loved him. Even if that little voice in the back of his head did keep telling Al he didn't mean it, he ignored it.

But he didn't stop apologising.

"Sweetheart," his mom said after one such instance, "You don't need to be sorry, OK? It's alright."

"But-"

"You can't do anything else to make up for it," she leaned across the table to touch his face, "I know a lot of problems have come out of this but it's nothing we haven't seen before. We're all in the same boat now, and how we got here doesn't matter anymore. We're here and we'll get ourselves out of it again," she assured him, "Zed and his garzi'ska changed things. Maybe you and Zephyr can change things this time."

"But it's my fault that things need to change. Even the other zombies hate me now, Mom, I can't do anything."

"Not all of them. There's enough zombies here who still love you and care for you and appreciate what you did for them. And there are people who have forgiven you. It's going to take a while for you to forgive yourself. We forgive you, and that's a start, but what you really need to do is forgive yourself," she looked at him for a moment, sitting at the table with his head in one hand, looking down, "I know how badly this is effecting you. I know you've been sick. I know you're holding back from your music. I know things with Zephyr are still hard right now, but I also know you can come out of this stronger than ever."

Al briefly met her eyes but didn't say anything. She blinked away her tears.

"... I just want you to be able to feel like yourself again..."

There was a knock at the door and she quickly got up to answer it, wiping her eyes. Al heard her call his name and went to see who it was.

"... Zephyr?"

He looked strangely nervous standing in the doorway.

"Al, I really need to talk to you."

– TATTOOED MISTAKES –

Upstairs in Al's room, they ended up sitting side by side on the floor with their backs to the bed. It took a little while for Zephyr to find the words for what he wanted to say and Al waited patiently for him to start.

"... I don't want to make you feel any worse..."

"Zeph, I'm pretty sure I can't feel any worse. No worse than I have been."

"Are you sure?"

He was genuinely asking. He really thought whatever he was going to say could tear Alonzo down even further.

"Just tell me. What's going on?"

Zephyr could only gesture vaguely, "Everything... I don't know, I just feel... lost. Like, I didn't know how to handle it when you weren't there and now that you're back, I'm too focused on making sure you're OK to think about myself. Rizzo says I'm bottling up my emotions and I guess she's right. I don't think I'm doing as good as I thought I was. With that fight, a-and getting suspended from the team and the counselling, I-I really was not OK. I've been pretending I could deal with everything for your sake but I... can't."

Alonzo's heart dropped. Looking back, he realised Zephyr hadn't once shown any concern for himself. It was always about Al. He'd never even heard his side of the story.

"Zeph?" Al started in a quiet voice and he looked up. Al's eyes were on the floor but Zephyr could see the fear there, "What was it like... watching me...?" he finally lifted his head, "When it happened?"

He hesitated. He couldn't lie to him about anything else. He couldn't keep hiding things from him. But Zephyr still found it hard to answer. He took a breath to say something but stopped himself until Al reached out to lay a hand on his. Zephyr shook his head.

"... It was hell," he said shakily, "You were... rabid, it was like you couldn't even hear me, and when-" he cut himself off to swallow the lump in his throat and Al squeezed his hand, but Zephyr couldn't look him in the eye saying all this, "When you... y-you split his head open..."

"Hey, OK, stop," Alonzo quickly wrapped his arms around him, murmuring in his ear, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked..." he held him close, pressing his nose to Zephyr's cheek for a second or two before gently kissing him, "You were scared, weren't you? Of me."

The tears spilled over and Zephyr hid his face in the crook of Al's neck as he nodded against him. Alonzo sighed and closed his eyes, just letting Zephyr cry. He wasn't surprised. Who wouldn't have been scared in that moment? Zephyr soon pulled away again.

"Yeah," he rubbed at his eyes, "Yeah, I was. And I hate myself for it. I was scared of you. Z, Al, my heart was beating! It was only for a few seconds, then I was more scared for you, but..." he choked, "... It was like I didn't know you."

Al said nothing for a while. He just sat there, his eyes wandering over Zephyr's face and his fingers tangling in his hair. Once Zephyr had calmed down a little, he spoke, "Is this what you were talking about in counselling?"

Zephyr sniffed and nodded, "Yeah..." he gave a humourless laugh and shifted slightly to tip his head onto Al's shoulder, "Apparently, it traumatised me. And that's why I was denying things and getting into fights and all that. It just," he shrugged, "drowned everything else out."

Alonzo rested his head on top of Zephyr's.

"Zeph..." he started but Zephyr interrupted, hanging his head in shame.

"I didn't even finish the counselling sessions," he muttered and Al straightened up, looking down at him, "It was supposed to be more than two months but I gave up. 'Cause I thought I didn't need to be there, I thought I just needed you. I walked out a couple times, I showed up late a lot, I argued with her about everything and then I just stopped going entirely."

Al frowned, "Didn't they make you go back?"

"Oh, they tried to. And I did not cooperate," Zephyr raised his eyebrows and shook his head, then sighed, "... I hated it."

Alonzo fell silent once again, staring at him. He pulled away from him, looking almost guilty.

"Zephyr, it was traumatic for me. But I can barely remember it. You saw me eat somebody," he didn't see how Zephyr flinched at the memory, his eyes screwed shut, He was too busy trying to block it out of his own mind, "Of course you were traumatised..."

He'd promised himself he wouldn't think about this again. He wouldn't question it anymore. Zephyr loved him. He did. He had made that perfectly clear. But even now, Alonzo found it difficult to ignore those nagging thoughts in the back of his head.

"... Why are you still with me?" he asked and Zephyr's head jerked up in shock. His mouth hung open as Al went on, "You've been through hell because of me. How can you even look me in the eye and still say you love me?"

Eventually, Zephyr found his voice. He raised a hand to softly cradle Al's cheek, "I need you. I was a mess without you. I was just mad all the time, I couldn't handle it. You're so important to me," his thumb brushed away a stray tear from Al's eye, "I always feel safer with you. And yes, Al, I do still feel safe with you," he added when Al opened his mouth to say something, making him bite his lip and smile sadly, "You were right, I didn't want to admit the guy I loved could do that. I just kept pretending everything was fine when it really, really wasn't. I can't blame you, though. You couldn't have known exactly what you'd do without your Z-band."

"Zed stopped himself..." Al mumbled and Zephyr's brow creased in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"The homecoming game freshman year. Zed could've killed Bucky but he stopped himself."

Zephyr leaned closer and combed his fingers through Alonzo's hair, "Zed was wearing his Z-band. You can't compare yourself to that."

"Is there any difference? Being offline is pretty much the same as not wearing it."

"There's enough of a difference. Al, we've talked about this..."

"I know, but I can't help thinking about it...!"

"That's OK. It's OK to think about it, just know when what you're thinking isn't true. Yeah, I saw you at your worst but it doesn't change the way I feel about you, do you think I can just turn it off?" he stared at Al for a moment then took a breath, "Do you want me to?"

"No!" Al grabbed his hand, "But... Zephyr, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare apologise. You've apologised enough for everything, you've been punished enough, and never, never think for a second that I hate you or that I'm scared of you now. This isn't ever going to happen again. We're not going to let it happen again, no zombie is going to forget this. I'll admit it, you made a huge mistake, you did something horrible and you can't ever change that. And maybe it set zombies back a couple years, and maybe there's a lot of humans who have given up on us, but we're still here. You're still here, Al. And I'm not losing you."

"Zeph..." Al dropped his hand to Zephyr's arm.

"I'm not done, baby..." as Zephyr ran his thumb across his bottom lip, Alonzo felt himself smile sincerely for the first time in a while at the rare use of the pet name. And that made Zephyr smile in return, "You remember when I said I felt like I was falling more in love with you? I really think I did. But you can't think of it as loving you more for killing somebody. I love how you care that much about me. I love that you saved my life! You risked everything for me!" he paused, "And I just realised I never actually thanked you for that."

Alonzo's eyes were on his lips, then they slowly drifted up to meet with Zephyr's, "So, thank me now."

He didn't need to be told twice. Zephyr kissed him with all the passion behind his words, leaving them both breathless once they finally parted. It took Zephyr a second to speak.

"Thank you."

Al just shrugged, "I love you, Zeph. I'd do anything for you."

Zephyr chuckled lightly and pressed another kiss to his jaw, "Yeah, you've proved that."

He went on peppering kisses all over Alonzo's face until Al stopped him.

"Zeph...? Zeph, I gotta tell you something."

When he pulled away, Zephyr was surprised by how sombre Al looked all of a sudden and he brought a hand to his face, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Feeling guilty, Al avoided his gaze, "I... I got so mad at you for hiding something from me..."

"What...?" Zephyr furrowed his brow and turned Al's head to make him to look at him, "You were hiding something?"

"I-I didn't want you to worry..."

"Tell me."

For a moment, he could do nothing but look into Zephyr's eyes.

"Remember those couple of days after it happened? How just... mentioning brains made me feel sick?"

"Yeah?"

"Then... when I was in containment," he swallowed. It was still getting to him, "You never said much about it but I know you noticed how rough I looked..." he glanced up and saw Zephyr's concerned expression, "They only really feed you the brain-flavoured stuff in zombie containment."

"So, what, you're telling me you didn't eat that whole time?"

"I ate," he stressed, then looked away, "I tried to. But I couldn't keep anything down. I was throwing up every few days."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"... I told Zach..."

"But not me?"

"I didn't plan on telling him! It was right after I got back home and I was over at his place. I wasn't, like, back to eating normally yet so it was still fresh in my mind and... yeah, I threw up. So I told him why," he gave Zephyr an uneasy look when he didn't respond right away, "... Are you mad?"

Zephyr quickly shook his head, "Why would I be mad at you? If anything, I'm mad at myself for not saying something!"

"That's what I mean, I didn't wanna tell you 'cause I knew you'd be mad at yourself. You always find a way to not blame me."

There was a small pause as Zephyr thought.

"... I know..." he sighed, "... I guess I can't really blame anyone for this. 'Cept maybe the patrol. I got no problem blaming them."

Alonzo laughed and Zephyr couldn't help laughing with him. He'd missed that sound so much.

"We'll blame the patrol for everything, then!" Al said and leaned back against the bed, his smile slowly falling, "... And blame that guy for coming into Zombie Town in the first place. All of this is because of him."

"And not because of you, right?" asked Zephyr.

"Not because of me..." Al whispered, "I am done blaming myself, Zeph. I just wanna get back to living my life."

"It's gonna be hard, garzi'ka," Zephyr matched his tone, inching a little closer and reaching up to brush Al's hair back, "Things are still changing. And it's not for the better."

"I know. But I've got you."

He took Zephyr's hand, lacing their fingers together, and gently pecked his lips. Zephyr rested his head on Alonzo's shoulder and closed his eyes. They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, then Al began to sing.

"I want you to sit and listen, now. I know it's more like me to wanna make out. But I thought that we could try something new..."

He felt Zephyr shift, turning his head to lightly kiss Al's neck.

"I'm not perfect but you swear I am doing my best to be a better man, and I have to say, it's all because of you."

Alonzo pressed his lips to Zephyr's forehead. He was confused when Zephyr pulled away from him.

"What?"

Zephyr, still smiling, turned and reached across the floor to where Al's guitar was propped up against the wall a few feet away. He picked it up and handed it over to him. Al bit his lip.

"I haven't heard you play in forever, Al. You haven't forgotten how, have you?"

Zephyr nudged Al and the corner of his mouth quirked up as he rolled his eyes. Zephyr's grin widened at the hint of his old self shining through. Al sat up, positioning the guitar on his lap and found the first chord.

"You are the catalyst, you make me the best me that I've ever been. You are the catalyst, you make me trust you and like myself again."

Zephyr joined in, never taking his eyes off Alonzo's smile.

"Can you tell me, how in the world could I ever ask for more? You show me love I've never felt before. You are the catalyst..."

By the end of it, they had both almost forgotten anything had ever gone wrong between them. The secrets were told, the arguments resolved and they were ready to face the outcome of the whole thing together.

Zephyr quietly took the guitar back from Alonzo and set it aside so he could pull him close and whisper into his ear.

"I've missed hearing you sing."