Hetalia Meets Wikipedia: Italy
HAHA! Bet you guys weren't expecting to hear from this story again, did you?
ML: You can't really blame the readers-chazu. It has been several years since you updated this story.
Yes, yes, I know, I know. Now, for all of you who just skipped to this last chapter, not that I blame you, you should know that I have revamped this story a bit. Nothing too major, just some new content (I changed my opening messages to reflect the change), some editing with spelling and grammar mistakes that I made when this was first written. Man, I had some grammar issues as a high school student!
ML: At least you went backed and cleaned it up.
Yeah, reading this story back and seeing those obvious mistakes made me twitch. Okay, for all of you who are new to this story, welcome! We hope you've enjoyed it so far!
ML: You lot probably won't have to worry about a long wait. Maybe.
No, they will not. And after this, I will go and revamp Little Setsu-chan as well. That's my Gundam 00 fic for you all not aware. And work on Jack and his Kin. And The Boy That Time Remembered. And some other fics that I have backlogged for posting.
ML: Just admit that you like to procrastinate and get it over with.
(Groans) Fine, I admit it. Now, before I go on to start this chapter, I'd like to dole out several shout outs to the readers who have waited so long for this update. This is going to be a long list. So thank you LobsterSalad, Cuore l'anima della, Shiroi Iyasu, justanothercrazybrunette, Akazukinchan, NightFlowerLuv, Nepoleon, KitKatssie, Mika-tan, Stoneheartinginthejeditemple, Nemi Mercer, The Magnetic Witch, 99batran, ForUrEntertainment, Emra-Emrys'sBane, I'mAmerican, BionicFemme and PercabethShipper22 for your lovely reviews. (Takes a deep breath). Thank you 13-BlackCat-2020, 1718GR, AifuAdventurer, Aly208, An-Angels-Lily, Atamashi, BionicFemme, BloodyRose-FairyTale, Carolina7667, DarkieForFun, DimmedFlame, Ellenthefox, ForUrEntertainment, Fujoboka, Giggling at Maps 4ever, HellsTheTwerd, Hoppy854, Juubito, Kira Marks, KitKatssie, Kitk12, Lady Rose Moon, LK2, LostSilva, MasterFinland, Mika-tan, Myrna Maeve, N Harmonic, Neko249, Nepoleon, NightFlowerLuv, Parawhoreanimegirl 11, PercabethShipper22, Rosario545675, The-Polaris-Star, The Magnetic Witch, celstese, crazy YinYang writer7, innocent-orange-sky, izyfea6, joan008, justanothercrazybrunette, littlemisssquareeyes5397, magi889, narusai12, saoirsewolf, shingekinorivaille, summer164, surveycorps, thesmollbean, and xxAngelic Celestexx for favoriting.
ML: Christ, breathe before you pass out-chazu!
Don't worry, I'm almost done. (Takes another deep breath) Thank you 13-BlackCat-2020, 1718GR, An-Angels-Lily, BlueKikari, BluePlanetTrash, Carolina7667, Cuore l'anima della, DarkieForFun, Emra-Emrys'sBane, ForMyLove-LoveIsLove, ForUrEntertainment, HellsTheTwerd, HolyJuice, Ivyhunter10, Karhien, KitKatssie, Lilypad the Fourth, LK2, LobsterSalad, LostSilva, MasterFinland, Mika-tan, N Harmonic, Neko249, Nepoleon, NightFlowerLuv, Parawhoreanimegirl 11, PercabethShipper22, RachelAmeliaHolmes, Resident of Hallows Lane, Rosario545675, SilveryHowl, , The Magnetic Witch, ThePrincessofKatz, arekisandora07, crazy YinYang writer7, jka039, jmr46718, kicry, littlemisssquareeyes5397, surveycorps, thesmollbean, xXSlaytonMalfoyXx, and xxAngelic Celestexx for following.
ML: You're going to pass out if you keep going like this.
And finally, thank you to all of you who contributed to the over 9,000 views this story has accumulated. (Breathes) See, ML, I'm perfectly fi- (keels over onto the ground).
ML: Oh dear. (Walks over and checks my pulse) Well, she's alive at least. I warned her that she would pass out if she didn't breathe throughout that speech. (Looks to the audience) I guess it's up to me to move on with the story. But first the disclaimer. (Pats me on the back and straightens up) Taiyo-chan does not own Hetalia Axis-Powers or Wikipedia. If she did, I'm sure she wouldn't have to worry about student loans anymore.
Chapter 5: The Middle is Sometimes Just The Start...Does That Sound Right?
Chaos.
The was the kindest phrasing that could be used for what the room had devolved into.
Romano had his hands wrapped firmly around Spain's throat, face red with anger. Spain would have commentated on how Romano's face looked just like a tomato, but he was too busy being choked at the moment.`
Several other countries tried to pull Romano away but the Italian just held on tighter.
Italy had tried to reason with his brother on why he should stop his attempts at murder. He was now sobbing in Germany's arms, crying about how Lovino was so mean to him. Germany simply held him, a dead look in his eyes as he watched the disorder around him. Japan tried to comfort his friends as best as he could but he was unsuccessful.
England and France were duking it out on the ground. France had the advantage, being taller than England, but he soon lost it when England reached out and grabbed a fistful of France's long hair. The French nation's girlish scream of pain was music to his ears.
Greece and Turkey also took the opportunity to air out their grievances in a calmly manner. And by calmly, they were yelling at each other, curses and insults spilling from their mouths at a rapid pace.Poor Egypt tried to keep them apart, but they just kept shoutingright over him.
America and Russia weren't physically fighting but the air around them held such menace that mostly everyone in the room steered clear of them. They were smiling but their eyes told another story. It was like a smaller remake of the Cold War but with no threat of middle nuclear missile launches.
Maybe.
In the less violent spectrum, several others were holding far more tamer arguments.
(Though South Korea had just leaped towards China while screaming that his breasts belonged to him.)
(And Norway looked like he was several seconds away from punching Denmark to the floor.)
(And was Switzerland reaching for his rifle?)
That was the brand of chaos that the Pancake Group (as Taiyo-chan had titled them, in her head at least) entered the meeting room. Prussia was looking around, grinning madly, like he wasn't sure which fight to throw himself into first. Canada was horrified at how quickly violence had descended upon them all. Hong Kong was indifferent. And Taiyo-chan….
Taiyo-chan just looked impressed with it all. She took in all of the chaos happening around them and whistled.
"They sure don't waste any time, do they?"
Prussia laughed like the maniac he was. "Hell yes! Honestly, the only reason all of this didn't happen earlier was because of you popping in."
"Really?"
"Eyebrows was three seconds away from tackling America to the ground and strangling him half to death." Prussia tilted his head slightly as he watched the nearby brawls. "Kinda like what he's trying to do to Franny right now."
"Huh." And these guys were supposed to be hundreds of years old at least? Should she feel worried about the state of the world?
'...Nah.'
"We need to stop them before they kill each other." Canada watched horrified (and resigned since this happened every time they all come together) as his brother and parental figures continued in their foray of violence.
"They probably won't go that far." Prussia waved a hand placatingly. A moment later, Greece finally snapped and tackled Turkey to the ground, bringing them both down in a whirlwind of limbs and swears. Egypt stared at them for several moments before he sighed in frustration and walked away.
Hong Kong gave Prussia a dull look. "You're sure about that?"
Taiyo-chan sighed. "Alright, nothing is going to get done around here with them all trying to maim and kill each other. I'll stop them."
"How are you going to do that?" Kaoru knew that the human girl had some type of supernatural ability, given the mind reading, objects appearing out of thin air for her, and that rather evil aura she produced earlier.
"Don't worry about it. I have a plan." Taiyo-chan reassured the three of them before she wandered off to the head of the table, where she left her belongings.
"I'm very concerned." Matthew murmured under his breath.
"You're smart to be." Kaoru replied.
"I'm not." Gilbert replied.
"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."
-Oh, Look At The Pretty Linebreak-
This was it. This was the moment that Romano had been waiting for centuries to enact. He was finally going to get the Tomato Bastard to leave him the hell alone.
(Though if he was honest with himself, he couldn't quite imagine life without the older man pestering him every day.)
(But like hell he would ever admit it!)
Romano was so close. These bastards thought they could hold him back and keep him from accomplishing his goal but they had another thing coming. His fingers were just centimeters away from wrapping around Spain's throat when he was interrupted.
BANG! BANG!
Everyone jumped at the loud noises. Those were gunshots. Eyes immediately turned to Switzerland.
"Don't look at me!" Switzerland shouted in irritation. He had been too busy keeping Liechtenstein under the table to keep her from being exposed to all the mayhem and violence going on. Though he would admit to himself that he was seconds away from pulling out his rifle himself.
"EVERYBODY NEEDS TO SHUT THE HELL UP AND CALM DOWN!"
That was a new voice. Heads swiveled around and mouths dropped open as they took in the new person.
The first thing they noticed was the hair. It was green. Not the type of dark green that you would equate with leaves, the pale shade of moss, or the catching color of emeralds. No, this was a neon shade of green so bright that it was any wonder that they hadn't noticed the newcomer before. The hair was obviously dyed though, dark hair roots visible at the base of his head. The hair was cropped short, hanging just below the ears, messy bangs covering their forehead.
More of the new arrival was taken in. They were a young male, in his mid-teens at most, with tanned skin, a sharp nose, and dark eyes that were narrowed in annoyance. He was somewhat tall but his height was complemented by his strange outfit. He wore what looked like a red chinese-style tunic but the sleeves had been ripped off, leaving jagged edges behind. A pair of blue jeans decorated liberally in dust and dirt covered his lower half. A pair of tan work boots rounded out the outfit.
But that wasn't what the most attention grabbing about him. No, what caught the most attention was the rather large sniper rifle that he had braced against his right shoulder, smoke trailing out of the muzzle of the firearm.
The mystery boy looked around at the frozen nations and snorted. "Ya dumbasses finally calmed down now?"
"Who the hell are you?" Romano asked, his rage at Spain temporarily forgotten. Taking advantage of the distraction, Antonio quietly moved as fast as he could without looking like he was running away from the younger.
"He's with me." Taiyo-chan appeared behind the mystery male, tail swishing lazily behind her. "And I brought him in to get you all to calm down."
The green-haired boy scoffed. "Ya shoulda got Ragazzo dell'acqua instead of me if ya wanted ta go for calmin'." Romano and Italy (still being held by Germany) perked up at the use of Italian.
"Well, yeah, I could have called in Haruko. But I want them to stop trying to maim each other, not verbally destroy them all into submission."
"That would have led to no more fighting." Hong Kong popped up beside her. She didn't even blink.
"And would have lead to several of you crying into the carpet. I love you guys, but I don't want to see that part of you anytime soon."
Germany took the moment of confusion to walk up to Taiyo-chan and her gathering. Italy was firmly attached to his arm and Germany didn't seem to be in the mood to order him to let go. Japan followed several steps behind them.
Ludwig stared down at her and for once, in the short time that he knew her, it wasn't tinged with annoyance. If anyone looked closer, there might have been a hint of respect in his gaze.
"Where on Earth did you run off to?" he asked her.
"Well it looked like Lovi wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, so I decided to go and get some pancakes with your brother, Canada, and Hong-Kong."
Germany stared at her for one long moment. Shifted it to his brother, who smirked at him and gave a thumbs up. Stared at Canada and Hong-Kong, who gave him an apologetic grimace and raised eyebrow respectively. Looked back towards Taiyo-chan.
"Pancakes." he repeated, voice deadpan.
The human girl nodded in confirmation. "Pancakes."
Ludwig wanted to ask, he really wanted to ask just what exactly was going through the young woman's mind when she decided that going out for food while a fight broke out was the right thing to do. But he decided that the question didn't really need to be answered. At least she came back to deal with the mess she caused.
"Ve~?" Italy chose that moment to enter the conversation. "Bella ragazza, who is your friend?" He pointed to the colorful youth.
Taiyo-chan grinned at the older teenager next to her. "I'd like you guys to meet Seiko Jun-Woo. Or Woo-Seiko Jun if you wanna get into the correct pronunciation."
The former Axis Powers and Allies (and several others who couldn't help but be eavesdroppers) stared at the youth. He was Asian? Those names sounded distinctly Asian, even though the boy didn't look like it. Seiko Jun, noticing the stares, rolled his eyes.
"I take after my dad. He was Italian. My mom was Japanese with some Korean furtha back in her family." he explained. Several "oh's" passed by.
Seiko Jun shook his head. "Is that all ya neede' me for?" he asked Taiyo-chan. Taiyo-chan waved her hand in agreement.
"Yeah, yeah, that's all. You can go back to your crew now. Tell everyone that I said hi!"
"Why would I need ta, when ya can see us any moment of the day?"
"It's the polite thing to do, Seiko. See ya later!" At that point the strangest thing of all happened. Taiyo-chan placed one hand on Seiko Jun's chest, smiling at him with affection clear on her face. Seiko Jun simply raised a dark eyebrow at her, though his eyes were crinkled in a way that couldn't belie the fondness he held for the girl.
Looking more closely, Germany could see that Seiko Jun's eyes weren't actually completely dark brown. In the overhead lights, they gleamed in a way that made them flash a deep red. Not unlike his brother's eyes.
And then all thoughts were pushed out of his mind as a glowing outline surrounded Seiko Jun and, within seconds, he was consumed in a bright light, disappearing into thin air.
What in the world?
Everyone began clamoring and staring as Taiyo-chan began to make her way back to make her way back to the head of the table, dragging Canada along with her. Kumajiro toddled along behind them.
"What did you do just now?" England had completely abandoned murdering France in order to hover by the human. "Was that magic? Did you just perform magic?" From his spot with the rest of the Nordics, Norway looked interested as well, though he didn't say anything.
"Don't worry about it." Taiyo-chan waved the British nation off. "Everyone back to their seats!"
Germany took the moment to reassert his own authority as well. "You heard her! EVERYBODY GET BACK TO THEIR SEATS RIGHT NOW!"
Startled by the large German's shouting, everybody scrambled back to their seats. Greece and Turkey got off each other and settled back into their spots. America and Russia ceased their standoff and wandered back to their respective areas, though part of the success could be attributed to Ukraine (Russia didn't like seeing his sister cry and America just felt uncomfortable with making a girl upset). Switzerland reluctantly brought Lichtenstein back up from under the table but kept a suspicious eye on everyone as he sat next to his sister.
"Okay!" Taiyo-chan clapped her hands together. "Is everyone okay now? Did you get all of your murderous urges out of your systems?"
There was some muttering across the table though the general consensus was that they were done with the violence. Though there was some mild dissent from Romano who shot a flinty glare in Spain's direction. Antonio, for his part, was seated a few seats away from his former charge and had the look of a despondent puppy on his face. Francis, being the good friend that he was, reached over to console the Spanish nation. Though Francis also took the moment to grope him as well because that was just what Francis does.
Taiyo-chan ignored the interaction. "Okay then! Here we go." She rebooted her laptop and returned to the Wikipedia page for Italy. "Alright, I had finished the Ancient Rome section, so next up is… The Middle Ages."
At the words 'Middle Ages', several European and Eastern nations shivered in remembrance. The Middle Ages didn't hold very fond memories for most of them.
Taiyo-chan cleared her throat. "After the fall of the Western Roman Empire, Italy fell under the power of Odoacer's kingdom and, later, was seized by the Ostrogoths, followed in the 6th century by a brief reconquest under Byzantine Emperor Justinian. The invasion of another Germanic tribe, the Lombards, late in the same century, reduced the Byzantine presence to the rump realm of the Exarchate of Ravenna and started the end of the political unity of the peninsula for the next 1,300 years."
She took a moment to snort at the previous wording. "Rump realm? They actually wrote that down." Some people (America, Prussia, and Denmark included) snickered at the phrase as well.
"The Lombard kingdom was subsequently absorbed into the Frankish Empire by Charlemagne in the late 8th century. The Franks also helped the formation of the Papal States, several territories under the direct rule of the Pope, in central Italy. Until the 13th century, Italian politics was dominated by the relations between the Holy Roman Emperors and the Papacy, with most of the Italian city-states siding with the former or with the latter from momentary convenience."
"It was during this chaotic era that Italian towns saw the rise of a peculiar institution, the medieval commune. Given the power vacuum caused by extreme territorial fragmentation and the struggle between the Empire and the Holy See, local communities sought autonomous ways to maintain law and order."
"Excuse me, Miss?" Japan raised his hand into the air. Taiyo-chan beamed at him. So polite. "What exactly is the Holy See? And medieval communes?" Around the table, the rest of the Asian, African, American, Eastern, and Oceanic countries nodded as well.
"Hmm, well I think the medieval communes were mainly a European thing during those days. And the Holy See was an Italian thing. Any of you want to explain it?" She looked towards the European nation who were around during the Middle Ages.
Surprisingly, Netherlands was the one who provided an explanation. "Yeah, I got this. So, medieval communes started up when townspeople began to settle into walled cities in order to protect themselves. You know, from bandits and nobles who like to take advantage of them." Those listening nodded their heads in understanding. "But that may not be enough protection. So the people in the walls got to thinking and they decided, since there wasn't any type of authority in the city to provide protection for them, they would have to do it themselves. So a group of those citizens gathered together and swore allegiances to each other. To not only physically protect each other from any harm coming, but to make sure that they were able to govern themselves, establish their laws as they saw fit."
Netherlands waved a hand in the air. "They lasted for a few decades, especially in Germany, but in….1356 I think, the Holy Roman Emperor decided enough was enough and posted a law saying all the communes had to disband."
"Wow." Belgium blinked in surprise at her brother. "I didn't think you could offer such an educational speech to anyone. Or just speak for such a long period of time" Netherlands glared at his sister.
"I am capable of doing many things involved with talking. I just prefer not to." Belgium raised her hands in surrender, though she was smiling.
"Alright, alright."
"Hey, what about that Holy Seed thing?" Alfred questioned. Arthur facepalmed.
"It's called Holy See, you gormless muppet." Alfred wrinkled his nose.
"Did you just say I'm like Elmo?" Before Arthur could rip him to shreds (verbally at least), someone answered Alfred's question.
"The Holy See is basically the position of Pope and the Pope declaring his ultimate authority in everything related to the Catholic Church and their affiliates."
Surprisingly, it was Romano who answered. Everyone looked at him in astonishment.
Noticing all of the looks he was getting, Romano's face turned the type of tomato red that Spain alway liked to coo about. Spain would be cooing about it right now in fact but he was still a little weary of Romano gearing up and choking the life out of him again. So he settled for staring at him wistfully.
Taiyo-chan grinned at the surly Italian. "Why, thank you, Lovi! My it's really nice to see that you're really getting into this whole history event. I'm so glad!"
Lovino reddened further. "Like hell I am, you crazy cat bitch! I just couldn't stand to hear you morons mangle part of our history if you tried to explain it!"
"Vee~." Feliciano took the moment to plaster himself into his brother's side. "Fratello, why can't you just admit that you want to be here?"
"Why the hell would I admit to fucking nonsense like that!?"
Taiyo-chan laughed at the interaction between the two brothers. But more than that, she was so glad that they were asking these questions, wanting to know more about their neighbors, customs that weren't practice in their own homes. They were all actually being civil to each other.
Yes, it was all going according to plan.
….Though she could have maybe done a bit better to calm down the mayhem earlier.
She pondered that notion for several seconds.
'...Nah.'
(Wakes up from coma)...Is it over? Did I finally do it? Did I finish?
ML: (Soothingly rubs my head) Yes, you did it-chazu. You finally updated this story after several years.
Thank goodness….I thought for sure the muse would run out and I would have to put this on hold. Again.
ML: But you didn't-chazu. Though you did have some problems with writing this in the beginning.
(Sits up slowly) Yeah, originally, I had planned on putting this chapter up back in 2018. But those last few months were a real wrangler for me. Graduation from college and all of that good stuff. But graduation's over and I now have some free time to focus all on my lovely stories. Oh yeah, I can guess you're all wondering about Seiko-Jun Woo. He's an OC of mine. I brought him in to calm the crowd with my mystical author powers. And yes, he's aware that he was created by me.
ML: You should get to writing more before your free time runs out. Pretty soon you'll have a full-time job and you won't get to write like this except on weekends probably.
Yeah, yeah, you're right, I should get back to- (Passes out again).
ML: …..Though it would be good for your health to catch up on your sleep. (Turns to the readers) Well it was nice seeing you all again. See you soon.