It had been a long summer for Hermione.
During most weeks she'd kept herself occupied with finishing the last repairs of Hogwarts that had been severely damaged in the final battle. It had taken months to restore the historic building to at least some of its former glory, but it was still overshadowed by the losses they had suffered that day back in May. Putting the war-torn pieces of Hogwarts back together had been almost therapeutic for Hermione, not just for the intellectual challenges it sometimes provided that kept her mind busy, for example when there had been particularly difficult spell damage to be reversed, but also for seeing the place she loved so much being stripped of the remains of the war and put back together. Of course she did not have the same bond to the castle as Harry did, but for her, too, it had been the most magical place full of knowledge and friendship, representing her entrance and belonging to the wizarding world. Seeing it torn apart had been heart-breaking, and fixing it had almost left her believing she could just put herself back together with the same determination she bestowed on the magical building. She had come to realise, tough, that it was way harder to try and return to her old self than she had hoped for.
The nightmares kept the events of the war fresh in her memory and there was barely a night she didn't spend restlessly walking around her room after waking up screaming and crying. Madam Pomfrey had sometimes offered her Dreamless Sleep, but she knew it was highly addictive when taken too often and she did not want to risk it.
Hermione had also found that it had become difficult to concentrate for as long as she used to, her thoughts eventually drifting off and it bothered her enormously. Her intelligence had always been one of the only qualities she liked about herself and though she still enjoyed a nice mental challenge, she was not up to her old capacities yet and was anxious that the people around her would notice. It was the one quality that other people as well had always valued her for, especially Harry and Ron or the teachers at school, and she was afraid it would affect her relationships if they found out.
During the summer at Hogwarts she had been able to hide it pretty well by seldom entering into group projects and working on her own so nobody would notice her taking breaks to blankly stare into nothingness or silently cry after a memory had flashed through her mind. And even during her stay at Grimmauld Place, she had holed herself up in the library half reading, half pretend-reading the numerous books, hiding her unstable emotions behind the old volumes.
But at the same time, it felt like doing research was one of the only things that kept her sane right now. At least for the time she could concentrate, she liked keeping her mind busy, as it prevented her from dwelling on the past all day and probably getting an emotional breakdown fuelled by boredom.
Talking to Harry and Ron had helped a bit, too, though each of them tried to deal with their grief and trauma differently. While Harry was spending almost every free minute with Ginny, talking things through with her, Ron had started to fiercely train Quidditch in the backyard of Grimmauld Place and going out with Dean and Seamus at any possible opportunity. She could not blame him for that; their romantic relationship had found its inevitable ending pretty soon after the battle. Both of them had realised that their emotions had been very much fuelled by the circumstances of the war and they just did not have enough in common beyond that. Still, they had somehow managed to keep their friendship intact, except for one or the other awkward moment and luckily no one's feelings had been hurt in the process. Yet, she felt a sort of loneliness had taken the space in her heart that had so long been filled with her crush on Ron and her isolating herself more than she probably should did not help that feeling in any way.
She was sure she would miss them dearly though, since both of them would not be returning to Hogwarts to finish their seventh year with her. In fact, there were very few people from their year that would come back, as now Minister Kingsley had enforced a special exception for them that allowed a direct entrance into their magical careers or apprenticeships even without their NEWTS. Harry and Ron would both be starting their auror training next week, while she would leave for Hogwarts tomorrow. As head girl, she was allowed to return one day early to go over a few changes with the headmistress and settle into her new quarters properly before the other students arrived.
For now she had apparated to her childhood home to pick up the last few things for the term. During the summer she had only come by once; the house brought back too many memories of her parents and the almost overwhelming feeling of guilt she still carried around with her for wiping their memory of any traces of her and sending them to live in Australia. They were still living there now, unaware of ever having had a daughter, since Hermione had not been able to bring herself to reverse the spell, yet. Mostly she was afraid that it would simply not work, that her charm had been too strong or radical and she would have to except to have lost her parents forever. But she also did not want to risk messing up her reversal due to her faltering concentration and she was not even sure what the safest way to bring back their memories was. She would do more research at Hogwarts and also come to terms with the possibility of being rejected by her parents. They would probably be infuriated at her interference in their lives in such a major way and she wouldn't blame them for turning away from her, even if she had done everything to keep them safe. Still, she could not deny the small spark of hope that her parents would eventually forgive her, if she explained her motives to them.
She cast a quick "Homenum Revelio"-spell in the doorway, better safe than sorry. Although she highly doubted someone would have found their way into her old home, there were still a few former Death Eaters on the run that required a certain amount of precaution still. When nothing happened, she hurried into the living room and up the stairs to find her room just the way she had left it last time, except for a thick layer of dust that had settled on her belongings. She grabbed a few pieces of clothing from her closet and put them into her bag after shrinking them. A few pieces of jewellery that had been given to her by her mom followed shortly. A few bits and bops later, she was already on her way out again, closing the door behind her and apparating back to Grimmauld Place.
When she finally finished packing her trunk, it was past eleven at night and after getting ready for bed, she snuggled comfortably into the covers. Though it had been out of the question that she would finish her NEWTS as soon as she could, the thought of being at Hogwarts without her friends and dealing with healing herself along the way made her anxious at the same time. Still worrying, she fell asleep at last only to wake up a few hours later screaming from another nightmare. Thank God for silencing spells and her own private quarters at Hogwarts.
In the next chapter we'll return to Hogwarts :)
PS: I had originally uploaded this story starting with the chapter you've been reading now, but while I tried to continue the story, the first two chapters crept in somehow, so I decided to add them here as well.