Hi.
Sorry for the late update. I've been excruciatingly busy with school and have a few exams coming up in a couple of days. Combining this with a lack of reviews and feedback, my motivation has plummeted. However, I will still try my hardest to crank new chapters out. Keep in mind that there is no editing or rephrasing of anything. I write it and then never look at it again. I know it's something that is unprofessional and frowned upon, but if I had more time I could do these things.
"I said at the crack of dawn."
Rey opened her eyes to see Kylo Ren standing at the entrance to her door with his helmet pressed to his side. Her hands scrambled for the covers.
"Taupe. A sentimental choice. It reminds you of your wrap dress."
Rey had half a mind to yell at him at his intrusion. The nightgown she had selected after drowsily waking up in the middle of the night was wrapped snugly around her.
"Maker, you scared me. How long have you been there?" she asked.
"Not long. You are late."
Rey scowled. "How in the galaxy did you even get in?"
She kicked the covers off her, no longer caring about what he would see. Getting out of the bed and annoyed, she collected the clothes she had laid out for today and stumbled past him and to the refresher.
"Impertinent bastard," she muttered. Waving at one of the chairs, she said, "You can sit down while I get ready."
Kylo Ren raised one of his eyebrows but obeyed her. The act threw her for a loop, but it was still too early and she was still half asleep. Trodding to the refresher, she made sure to lock the door behind her and double-check.
A relieve and a brief shower later, Rey emerged, hair wet, in the same outfit she wore yesterday, barring for a new article of clothing: a small cowl where she could lift the hood over the face to avoid unsought stares.
"What?" she asked at his amused expression, fully awake. To her right, his helmet lay on the table for two.
"You remind me of—"
"Yourself. Yeah, I know," she retorted, sinking to one knee and tying her boot. "Don't get full of yourself. It's so that I don't draw unwanted attention."
"Obviously."
Rey stared at him, nonplussed.
"First you invite yourself into my room, and next you treat me like dirt at the bottom of your boot. You sure are someone else."
"My handprint is authorized for every door and entrance on all First Order ships," he said, ignoring her.
"I suppose it's too much to ask for some privacy then," she muttered, wishing her staff was available so she could pummel him with it.
"If that is your wish, I can post Stormtroopers outside your door."
Rey rolled her eyes. Not even an hour in the day, and she was already vexed.
He took a step to meet Rey's face right as she stood up after tying her other boot.
"Is this more along the lines of what you were thinking?" he asked.
Rey backed away, losing her balance. Her feet tripped over the side of her bed and she fell, hitting the sheets with her bottom. Propping herself up with both of her arms behind her back, she glowered.
"Maker, you're infuriating," she muttered, refusing to meet his look. She pulled herself up and started walking for the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To train. You wanted to teach me, correct?"
"I have edicts you have not agreed to yet," Kylo Ren commanded, using the Force to turn her around.
Rey growled for what seemed like the tenth time today when a sudden memory from last night hit her.
"You seriously want me to oblige by your demands after last night?" she said, storming to him until she was within arm's reach. "Let me tell you something, Kylo Ren. You will never use the Force on me again, or there will be severe consequences."
Kylo Ren unsheathed his lightsaber and held the flaming blade to her neck faster than Rey could blink.
"You seem to be misguided. Somehow, you are led to believe that we have a camaraderie; that this is two-way discussion. Let me make one thing clear. You came to me begging to be taught—"
"I didn't b—" Rey protested, but stopped when a spark from the blade scorched her neck. She gulped. She knew he wouldn't go through with his threat, but his blade was still a symbol of power. Scary power.
"—taught, to control your emotions. I agreed to your pleas. And if you are to be under my tutelage, you shall kneel and address me as 'Master'. Is that clear?"
He pulled the lightsaber away from her face. Rey breathed a sigh of relief, but her body turned rigid when she saw him unmoving, silently standing and waiting for her consensus.
Rey kept her face blank, but inside, she was sorely tempted to steal his lightsaber and give him a taste of his own medicine. But by the flicker she saw in his eyes, he knew.
The fact that he understood what she was feeling at that moment got under Rey's skin more than she cared to imagine and only served to verify his point that she did need this training, even if it was from him.
So it was with a heavy heart that Rey sank on her left knee and bowed her head.
"Yes, Master," she grit painfully. The word rolled off her tongue like a bitter pill.
"Now, was that so difficult?" Kylo Ren asked.
Rey could tell by the change in his tone that he was grinning, and this was proven true when he told her to rise. She followed his orders, seeing a stupid smirk etched on his face.
"Relax yourself," he said, adeptly sensing another flare of anger. "We will reach the training rooms soon enough."
He jerked his head toward the door. Rey went first, lifting the cowl's hood over her head and keeping her eyes glued to the floor, taking care to turn around and glue her eyes on him.
The walk down the hallways seemed distant and strained by their silence. Rey's pride already took a hit when she got on her knee, and she refused to allow herself to be intimidated by walking by his side rather than behind him like an obedient slave. She continued to bow her head and made sure to scour her surroundings and memorize the path's turns, secretly relieved that he was guiding her.
"You have much to learn, Rey," he said suddenly.
Rey lifted her head to find him staring forward.
"I'm not talking to you with that helmet on," she flatly said, refusing to let him dictate another one of her preferences.
"What you think is your way of rebelling against authority only serves to strengthen your puerility instead."
"You can believe what you want to believe in, and I'll believe in what I want to believe," she fumed. They were back at square one.
A few minutes later, he surprised her by removing his helmet, but it melted back to annoyance when he stopped walking. They stood in front of a massive door in the middle of cul-de-sac.
"We're here."
Her annoyance was replaced by perturbation.
"Oh," was all she said.
Kylo Ren nodded at her and then gestured for her to place her hand on the scanner.
Rey held her hand out and hesitated at first, but then thought better of it. Her palm touched the screen and there was a sullen beep. The door in front of them slid open and they walked inside.
When she saw the inside, her jaw dropped.
It was as polar of an opposite it could be compared to Ahch-To. Even though Rey would always attribute one of her favorite moments being that of experiencing rain for the first time, all of her fascination with the wet droplets melted away at what Kylo Ren's training room bore.
Walls painted pure, blistering white was a direct contrast to the meek gray and black walls decorating the rest of the ship. The color was so bright that Rey had to squint her eyes before they adjusted to the setting. On the left end, the rectangular room held a swanky set of gym equipment stretching so far beyond her line of sight that Rey had to crane her neck to catch a glimpse of the end wall. On her right lay a formidable rack of weapons that invited the appraiser to step into the training center, a polished open black floor that was more than enough of a challenge for even the fastest person to run from one side to the other in under five seconds.
Rey approached the weapon rack, her hand shaking. There were beasts of all sizes. She recognized blades such as karambits, throwing knives, push daggers, but dozens more lay strewn on different rows of the rack that she was unfamiliar with. When she walked over to the other side of the rack, she noticed a few larger, upgraded blasters and several hilts laying littered. Lightsabers, perhaps. She wondered who they belonged to, if not for public use, but her thoughts trailed off when she approached a staff quite similar to her original one she had for all her life. There was even detachable leather strap that she could sling around her shoulders, if she wanted.
Her fingers delicately brushed against the weapon. Slightly longer than hers, the dark glossy surface was capable of reflecting her face, albeit distorted. Without waiting for Kylo's approval, she gingerly held out both hands and picked the weapon up, judging how light it was.
"Made with titanium at the ends and durasteel at the hilt. Nothing like the scrap pieces of metal junk you forged yours with."
A sadness opened up in Rey and she felt her shoulders going slack, the elation evaporating from her like water in Jakku's heat. That staff had gotten her through thick and thin, as both a utility tool and a weapon against invaders, and she treasured it immensely. And now it was missing. Gone.
The thought of her inanimate companion forever lost in the galaxy began to eat her from the inside out, and Rey began to feel as if she lost a large important part of herself. All of a sudden, she found herself willing to do anything to chip away at the sadness.
Pivoting her dominant foot to the side and spinning around on it, she whipped the staff at the man she sensed behind him. She didn't have any expectations that her attack was successful, and this was confirmed when she felt the staff freeze in midair.
Expecting a retaliating threat, she was taken by surprise when instead, he loosened his grip on the staff. Comprehension hit her when she realized that he himself understood the sorrow and rationale behind her hasty attack.
His other hand shot to the weapon rack and called one of the objects that Rey thought was a lightsaber. But when he activated it, she knew better. She had seen a few Stormtroopers using it on Takodana; a metal hilt with a handle installed menacingly unfolded a beam of energy that pulsed electricity. If she got hit by that, it would hurt. But it would be better than being dead.
"Come," Kylo Ren said, turning and crossing where white met black.
As if mind-controlled, Rey followed suit. Both of them faced toward each other, on opposite sides of the fighting ground.
Kylo Ren gave a twirl of his weapon and Rey was filled with a sudden rush of excitement. She had never, ever fought anyone in an organized battle before, so the experience was novel to her. Her heart pumped harder, her senses grew sharper, and her breathing patterns became quicker.
She did not expect the first attack. From staring at her quietly to suddenly being pressed against her face, Rey was forced to pull the staff to her face in order to deflect his attack.
"Not bad," he commended, before sweeping low and knocking her on her back with his foot. "But you must predict what is to come."
He held out his hand and offered to help her up, but she refused. Using her staff as leverage, she propped herself up and glowered at him.
"That was a cheap shot," she said.
"You out of everyone should know that there is no announcer in war."
She gave a yell and charged at him. He lazily stepped to the side and arched his back backwards, following suit with an outstretched foot. Rey wasn't fast enough and tripped over it and fell to the ground.
"Get up," Kylo Ren said.
She crawled to her knees and pushed herself up.
"You weren't this strong when I fought you before," she scowled, rubbing her shoulder.
"That is because you are missing a key piece of the puzzle, my apprentice," he smirked, before launching himself at her again.
If the staff wasn't meant to absorb electricity, Rey would have been on the floor writhing in pain after his next attack. Kylo Ren was as skilled with the Z6 riot control baton as he was with his lightsaber. During the times Rey was on the defensive, she couldn't help but notice how graceful he was; how every pivot of his foot and every minute movement and flourish was done with purpose.
Rey noticed a gap in his attack and moved forward to strike. Tilting heavily to the right to avoid getting hit by the baton, she lunged forward with the staff and jabbed him in his left pelvic region.
Kylo Ren's attack faltered for a split second. A smile began to form on Rey's face, but it changed to confusion when she felt the tip of her staff hit not flesh, but the metal surface of the baton.
"Why can't I hit you?" she said, growing frustrated.
Kylo Ren said nothing but continued to push forward. Rey had to buckle both her knees and lean backward as far as she could to avoid the swing electricity at her chest, but this left her vulnerable to his follow-up. The electric baton finished its arc and he brought it up diagonally and slashed her right hip.
Rey dropped to the ground on her back, spasming at the current of electricity shooting through her body. The pain was unreal, unlike anything she had ever experienced. She thought she could tolerate it, given the mental pain she endured on Jakku, but this pain was pure physical; the thought of sawing through her own leg didn't come close.
And just like that, it was over. As the last bits of electricity ran their course in her body, her awareness grew sharper. She quickly scrambled to her knees, wincing at how tender her muscles were. Kylo Ren had stopped attacking her the moment she fell, and was now waiting for her to proceed.
And then it hit her.
"I understand now," she said, panting. "I understand."
"Which is?"
"I didn't have the proper motive," she answered.
"And that is your first lesson, apprentice."
"The Jedi code instructs that emotions are barriers, not the key to freedom," she countered, instantaneously feeling defensive.
"Of course. That is what a Jedi would say," Kylo Ren sneered. "Wrong, might I add."
"It's true." But even as Rey said this, a shroud of uncertainty swarmed inside her gut.
"No. Passion is key. Embrace your anger. Your hatred. Only then will you live to your fullest potential," he said, tossing the staff that had rolled to him back to Rey.
Knowing that progress was impossible without a teacher, she obliged his words.
Rey thought back to when she allowed her anger to fuel her in the encounter against the Stormtroopers. She remembered how her fingers twitched not in desperation, but in pleasure, well-receiving the sparks that jolted her deep to her core at the omnipotence she possessed.
It scared her.
"Feel it," he urged.
The face before her shimmered and faded away into a much darker one, the same one she saw when he tormented others. She saw the face that killed Han Solo, the face that killed Luke Skywalker, and her fury grew. It was a different person.
"Harness it, Rey," Kylo Ren breathed. The use of her name caused Rey's eyes to snap open and she snarled.
"Shut up, you murderous snake!" she spit, bringing the staff to meet his baton. She could tell she took him by surprise by the way he sloppily defended, slightly stumbling back. Using his disorientation to her advantage, she hastily jumped forward, fighting him with twice the intensity she had given moments ago. Kylo attempted to parry and counter, but she was always one step ahead of him. The battle was now in her favor. Throwing his attack off with brute force, she landing three quick strikes in succession. After the first two hits in his stomach, he attempted to parry the third, but could only partially negate the injury when her staff slid off his baton and pierced him in his left breast rather than his sternum.
"Not bad," she mocked him from earlier. "But you must predict what is to come."
Kylo Ren kicked out with his foot while he was on the ground and she tumbled to the ground as well. She turned over on her back to find him on top of her, his face merely inches from hers.
"Your disobedience is unattractive, but you make up for it with your spirit."
Rey kneed him in his stomach and then pushed him off to the side. He landed with a dull thump.
They both scrambled to their feet at the same time and stared at each other. Both of them were panting, and beads of sweat were beginning to trickle down Rey's face.
"You let me get those hits," she grinned.
"No," Kylo countered. "Letting in your emotions and controlling them allowed you to fight with a higher formidability than with your belief that emotions are barriers."
The two began to pace around each other. Kylo Ren was like a calculated predator, and Rey couldn't help but admire how someone so deadly could look so serene.
Kylo Ren stood low and stepped toward her. Rey reacted by readying her staff, but what he did next took her by surprise. Instead of progressing with an attack, he stopped in his tracks and focused his energy on using the Force instead. Rey was taken off guard by his fake move and her staff was ripped from her hands right before she was dragged forward by his power.
Right into his arms.
And before Rey knew what was happening, his lips crushed against hers.
Her mind exploded in a frenzy of fireworks when she felt the warmth of his mouth on hers, and she gasped. The sensation was foreign and overwhelming, but her eyes still fell closed as she savored his soft lips. They remained unmoving, yet the sheer contact flared the bond that linked him and her together and it hummed with warm energy. And then she felt his tongue run along her bottom lip.
In her vulnerable state, Rey could no longer deny him. Her mouth fell open, and when his tongue touched hers, she lost all control and caved in. A battle raged on between the two, battling for dominance until her jaw hurt. But it was pure bliss. Care and comfort that had first manifested in her heart when she touched the tips of her fingers for the first time with Kylo on Ahch-To exploded to the front of her chest and shocked her, filling her with a deep longing. Live electricity flowed through her veins, fueled by Kylo Ren's fervent compassion, giving her another addicting dose with every second they remained in contact.
Far too soon for her liking, he pulled away. Rey opened her eyes and realized she was probably running her hands through his hair during all that from how disheveled it was. They were both panting heavily, and there a hungry glint in his eyes.
"Maker, that was—"
Rey didn't get to finish her sentence before his lips were gnawing at hers again. He took her top lip in between his, sucking them, and Rey whimpered, mashing herself against him so she could get more. He happily obliged, biting and nibbling until she felt herself flooded with arousal at his advances. A deep, throbbing sensation undulated at her core, and was only fed more when she could feel his manhood pressed against her tunic. Feeling bold, she grinded her stomach against him and hungrily tasted his moan as he released the low sound into her mouth. Proud, she tortured him some more by giving her hips a little wiggle, savoring how he grew even harder.
She could do this forever but in the end, her lungs were burning so badly she had to pry herself off him.
And when she did, the bond between the two closed, content. Her satisfied beam slowly shattered as logic and rationality returned, and then the whole world came crashing down.
Rey's eyes widened and her hands flew to her mouth, in disbelief.
"Rey—" Kylo began.
"No," she interrupted with a whisper. "This can't have happened."
"Rey—"
"What have I done?" she squeaked. "What have I done?" Her feet moved of their own accord and backed her away from the man in front of her.
"Rey…" Kylo Ren said, leaning in with his hand.
She recoiled away from him and he moved back.
"Don't touch me!"
"What's gotten into you?!" he yelled back, masking his apparent hurt at her response behind anger.
Rey laughed, but it was as hollow as her heart.
"Don't you understand?" she said, stabbing her finger at Kylo Ren's face. "This is wrong."
She could see his face drop.
"Wrong?" he asked. "Did any of what just happened feel wrong? Look me in the eyes, Rey. No," he demanded, Force-turning her head when she looked away at anything but. "Look me in the face and tell me that what we experienced was wrong."
He watched her search for an answer.
"I can't," she finally choked, tears starting to well. "But it's not right. It can't be right."
"Why can't it be right?!" he argued, furiously kicking the baton that was near him away.
"You don't understand! Someone like you could never understand!" she shouted, blindly trying to navigate her way to the door. He followed her and grabbed her arm, trying to prevent her from leaving. But her strength was on a whole new level and she easily threw him off. He heard her fumbling with the scanner, and then the click of the door as it closed behind her.
Kylo
Kylo heard her footsteps disappear from his range of hearing before he lost control. Screaming in rage, he furiously ripped his lightsaber from his side, igniting it. He called a few training droids to battle him and he sliced them all apart, giving into his anger. It wasn't enough. He called dozens more, and they all met the same fate. He sliced through them like a hot knife, and when it didn't give him enough gratification, he dropped his lightsaber to the ground and began pummeling them with his fists instead, feeling his flesh and bones give away to the dense metal that was more than capable of holding its own against human skin.
By the time he was done, his hands were nothing more than bloodied masses. But even the pain he felt was secondary to Rey's dejection. He struggled to pick up his lightsaber, but he did so nonetheless. Picking up his helmet, he left the room and the carnage in its wake and ran down the hallways. There was only one place Rey could be.
Reaching her quarters, he slammed the lumps he could hardly call his hand onto the scanner. The scanner rejected him with a red beep. He tried again, and got the same result.
"Damn it!" he cursed, pressing his useless handprint over and over again, only to be on the receiving end of the security system's denial.
He unsheathed his lightsaber. He'll break through if he must.
The door suddenly lid open to reveal Rey in her same black clothes. Kylo's glowing lightsaber was so bright that he could identify her puffy face hiding behind her untidy hair. He turned off the lightsaber, not wanting to see any more. But even still, he couldn't shut away her confusion and regret, guiltiness and uncertainty radiating from within her. Their connection made sure of that.
"Leave me alone!" she yelled in tears, sobbing in front of him. She made no move to shut the door, and Kylo took this as a good sign and walked inside.
"I can't, Rey. I don't know what this feeling inside of me is, but I need answers. I need to know!"
Rey continued crying. He leaned forward to try to grab her body and hold her in a tight embrace, but she avoided it.
"No!" he said. "You don't need to run. You will tell me what is happening!"
"Kylo, please," she begged, hiccupping in the process.
The use of his name and her begging seemed to stop him in his tracks. He clenched down on his teeth, the muscles in his cheek bulging.
"I can't do this," she whispered, broken.
Don't say that, he chanted his head. Anything but that.
"Talk to me. Let me understand."
"Don't you understand?" she murmured, taking a seat in her bed. He joined her, taking care not to graze her. As much as he wanted to, he would respect her wishes.
Respect her wishes. How one kiss could lead to him following her orders like an obedient slave.
"No, Rey. Please let me understand."
Rey hiccupped again and took a deep, wavering breath.
"Kylo, we are on opposite sides. You are supposed to be my enemy! And not only that, like it or not, we are still in a war!"
"With you, it doesn't feel like a war," he admitted.
"I know," she chuckled wearily. The sound sent a pang through his heart. "But that doesn't change who you are. You have slaughtered thousands of innocents. You have killed people special to me. You abducted me from Crait and have been keeping me prisoner since."
"I haven't kept you prisoner."
"But you have!"
"Would a prisoner have all this?!" he asked, thrusting his hand out at the luxury around them. "If you were my prisoner, you'd still be in the interrogation room, beaten to a bloody pulp, if not dead already!"
"That's exactly it, Kylo!" she said, jumping to her feet. He realized too soon he fell into her verbal trap. "This fancy room only serves to further delude you into thinking that I'm not a prisoner! Let me ask you this," she breathed heavily, trying her best to calm herself down. "Can I leave the ship?"
Kylo Ren wanted to say yes, but he knew he would no sooner let her leave the ship than let her go back to the Resistance.
"No."
"Can I contact the Resistance?"
"No."
"Can I do whatever I want without you telling me what to do instead?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed. "You can!"
"No," Rey said, shaking her head. "I couldn't leave the room for three days—"
"That was because you were still recovering from your injury!"
"Let me finish." She held up her hand. "Did I have a say in whether I wanted to go to Numina with you?"
He thought for a moment, then admittedly shook his head.
"And did I ask you to take me aboard your ship and strap me in a chair?"
Kylo sighed. "No. No, you didn't."
He was basically admitting he was wrong, and after a dozen years of not admitting to anything, this felt unnatural.
"You see? I am your prisoner. Everything I have done is because you have demanded it from me."
"Not everything," Kylo said.
She gave him a sad smile.
"Not everything," she agreed. "And I hate myself for it."
A still silence came amongst the two. It was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable.
"You don't mean that," he finally spoke.
"No," she responded. "I didn't. Like you said, this is my true self, and I can't deny it. I know this is who I am. The only thing I can do is to work my way around it and grow stronger, so that when the day comes—" She looked up into his eyes with a fiery determination. "When the day comes, I will do what I need to do."
He was about to speak, but realized she wasn't done.
"And this connection…when you projected to me in your ship, en route to Kamino. Kylo, what we have isn't normal. This isn't the norm, and the fact that neither of us understand what we share makes it even scarier. What if what we're feeling is dangerous?"
"It isn't," Kylo asserted.
"But how do you know for sure?"
Kylo thought for a moment.
"I don't know for sure, but something that is dangerous can't feel as right as this does. Our connection is one thing, but when we physically touch, it's something else altogether. We are both capable individuals, and if it doesn't feel wrong, then it isn't wrong, especially with your sound logicality."
Rey let out a soft, wet chuckle. "Whatever we share really likes it when we touch." She leaned forward in an attempt to take his hands in hers, but stopped when she saw them.
"Maker! Kylo, what have you done to your hands?!" she blurted out, leaning in closer, her face turning horrified
Kylo yanked his hands back. "It's nothing."
"Nothing, my arse!"
She yanked his wrists to her and he grimaced at how badly they throbbed.
"It's fine," he adamantly stated. "The medical facility is more than enough to treat this."
"You're foolish if you think otherwise," Rey scolded. "You'd need to sit in bacta for endless hours, and Maker knows you have the patience of a child."
Kylo Ren ignored her insults.
"I don't have time for this," he said. "As Supreme Leader—"
"I said no! Stay down, or your hands won't be the only thing that's injured" Rey grabbed his lightsaber and pushed the hilt into his thigh.
He smiled at her fierce display. "You sure have taken a liking to my lightsaber. I reckon you will need one soon enough."
"Do you really mean that?" There was a hitch in Rey's breath as she paused in her examination to stare at him incredulously.
"I will not have you fighting with a commoner's staff, if that's what you're asking. But we must wait and not rush into things."
"Oh…I thought…"
"You thought what?" he asked.
"Nothing." She shook her head and her sullen mood shifted back to concern. The way she was cradling his hands in the smaller palms of hers filled him with a strange warmness. Her eyes were with an intensity he couldn't explain. The last time he had seen the same smoldering, caring look was a rare occasion almost twenty years ago, when he slipped on the rocks at the beach and fell. His parents—
He shut his thoughts down and pushed the guilt back in, so far deep within him that even Snoke had a hard time deciphering him. He didn't even have to focus for long, because something else took him completely off guard and shifted his mind far away from his parents.
A glow of green light emanated from both of Rey's hands and touched his own.
The relief was immediate. Pain disappeared and was replaced with a full moan by him at how sensationally pleasurable the hot energy was. It was like taking a steaming shower after a long day out in the freezing cold. It was like someone had a hundred hands and used all of them to rub out all the tight knots in his muscles.
Rey's hands stayed on him and the green glow continued for a few more minutes before the circular light shrank smaller and smaller until it completely disappeared. Panting, Rey sagged her head, looking a little worse for the wear.
"Give me a second," she weakly bleated. Kylo caught her when she slumped and rested her upright.
"Force healing," he whispered. "It took a lot out of you. We should go to the infirmary."
"It's nothing. I'm just a little lightheaded."
He stared at her flushed, stubborn face. The girl continued to astound him with each and every passing day.
"Where did you learn such a thing?"
At her silence, he asked again.
"Rey?"
She was quiet still, and he wasn't sure whether he had heard or not. Before he could inquire what was going on, he heard her speak in a subdued whisper.
"Kylo?"
He frowned at the sudden change in her tone. "What is it?"
There was a hesitation, in which he knew she was debating on whether voicing whatever was on her mind was a good idea.
Finally, he could tell she made up her mind.
"It's been on my mind since I woke up in the interrogation chamber, but tonight, with everything happening…"
She took a deep breath and brought her hazel eyes to meet his. He could see determination etched in them.
"I always thought…and part of me still wants to believe…but I don't think the medical droids fixed me," she said.
"Then what did?" he asked, a feeling of doom looming from his chest.
Her sweaty face said it all.
"Not what. Who. It was you. You were the one who healed me, weren't you?" she whispered. "All along, it was you."
His response was all that she needed to hear.
"Don't be foolish. Force healing is a light ability," he said flatly.
"I know," Rey said. "But I remember what I learned. When I was fourteen, I traded two week's of portions for holovids on recovery techniques. Bacta is used universally for virtually all injuries, no matter how severe, and in any other case, I would have believed you."
"But?" Kylo Ren asked, tension easing at the sight of how Rey became so animated when she recited education.
"But I was only out for a few hours. My injury is more than just a bundle of missing nerves, muscle fibers, and skin. It was necrotic. Cauterized from your lightsaber. Dead tissue doesn't just come back to life on its own."
"No, it doesn't. That's the bacta's job," he denied.
"Don't play me for a fool, Kylo! Bacta does not turn the dead back to life. The only way I could have completely healed was if there was a higher power at play. This was done by the Force." Her voice dropped to a tentative murmur. "This was done by you."
There was no more point in denying it.
"Fine," Kylo admitted, feeling defensive. "So what?"
"So what?" Rey asked in disbelief. "So what?! This…you said it yourself! Force healing is exclusively a light ability. No dark users should be or can use it. It's impossible…unless…"
"Rey…" he warned.
For the first time since meeting her, Kylo Ren could tell by the widening of her eyes and the shock etched on her face that she was seeing him in a different light.
"You're not as dark you make yourself out to be. There's good in you. Light."
"You are overstepping your boundaries," he heard himself warn.
"I always knew…M—Master Luke said it was too late, but he was wrong. He was wrong all along. But I could sense something else, back when I was on Ahch-To. Our hands touched, and it was like your light guided me to you. You had it in you all along," she emphasized. But then her face fell. "I don't understand. Why hide this, though?"
"Why?" he asked, trying to snuffle out the anger. Rey sensed this and immediately backtracked.
"I'm sorry, Kylo, it's just that…I feel like I know you. Even though we've only just gotten to know each other, it's like I've known you my whole life. I can't explain it. I can read you, and you are well aware of the light inside."
"Even if there is, I do not wish it to be. This is not a subject I wish to discuss."
"But—"
"I said I will not discuss this!" he uttered, voice elevated.
Rey recognized the finality in his voice and refused to bother him anymore, letting her hands slip back into his.
Kylo was secretly relieved when she changed the subject. That path was not one he wanted to go down tonight. He thought he scared her off with his harsh, unrestricted tone, but a tug on his hands suggested otherwise.
"Are your hands better? I don't know how well…how well I healed you. You may still need bacta."
He could feel the tips of her thumbs rubbing tiny circles on the backs of his hands. Her overwhelming concern for him made him unexpectedly soft.
"I'm okay," he said. To reassure her, he brought his right hand up, pausing for a slight moment until he knew it was okay before brushing his knuckles against Rey's left cheek. Her eyes closed at his touch and she gave a little shudder, the only indications she gave that showed his effect on her.
Kylo Ren sighed. The physical touch of their skin was like a soothing melody. With each stroke of his fingers was another tune, solidifying amongst each other until they became an orchestrated masterpiece. The bond between the two hummed its appraisal, glowing inside of him until he felt that he was going to combust with tranquility. He felt every nerve and every fiber of her being. He felt the radiant energy she exuded. He felt everything, and it was exquisite.
"Stay the night with me, Kylo," he heard her whisper. Opening his eyes, he saw her staring back at him, her lips slightly puckered into a small forlorn smile.
He needed no more assertions. She pulled him down to the bed, laying him on his back. He was unsure of where to put his hands, but then felt a slight increase in pressure when her head shifted and laid right in the middle of his chest. Putting his right hand on her back seemed like the right thing to do, and he did so, coming alive with energy at how warm her tiny frame was. Her fingers on her right hand slid up on the fabric of his surcoat and caressed his left one for a few seconds before she slipped her hand into his.
Nothing about this was lustful. There was no carnal tension, no urgent need of sexual gratification. This was two people in desperate need of company—not just any company, but each other.
Kylo Ren slept soundly for the first time in years.