My longest chapter so far! I should probably change one of the genres to angst. Again, sorry about the erratic updating schedule. I had (have) a ton of things going on, culminating with senior day at cheer and an Owl City concert this past Saturday. It was amazing. Anyway, two things to note. One, the best dramione fic I have ever read is called What the Room Requires by Alydia Rackham. It's here, and I've read it several times and it gets me every time. Go find it after you've read this. You'll thank me. Secondly, last chapter I asked everyone for reviews, (very nicely, I thought) and no one did! (except my real-life friend, fayeet. Hi, Fayeet! thanks!) Not even my brother, sadly enough (booooo, Josh. Yes, booo.) I would love even just a word or two of encouragement! Please? I need it, I'm going to teach a bunch of smol children things in front of competent adults and I am nervous :/. All that out of the way, here is the next chapter, little bit o' mystery in the angst, little bit o' angst in the mystery. Enjoy!
A hesitant tap on her door caused Hermione to start awake. Blinking confusedly, she answered the knock from the floor where she must have fallen asleep. "Yes?"
"I-I'm sorry to bother you, Professor Granger, but Headmistress McGonagall asked me to come and make sure that you were aware of the staff meeting taking place this morning."
Hermione made to get up but stopped abruptly, groaning at the way her muscles complained. Sleeping on the hard floor with only a thin rug to cushion her was probably not a great way to rest for her first day of teaching. Then again, it wasn't as if she'd done it on purpose. It had just happened, much like the bewildering events she'd been through earlier. The utter confusion regarding that strange room and lasting anger from her encounter with Malfoy were as bitter a blend as black coffee, and she would have definitely preferred the coffee. Especially considering the very little quality sleep she'd gotten last night. Or anytime recently, for that matter.
"Um, Professor? Are you...all right in there?"
Hermione cursed her wandering mind and pushed aside her body's complaints. Getting up and opening the door, she saw a girl, not much younger than herself, shifting on her feet uncomfortably. Attempting a warm smile, Hermione brushed her unruly hair back nervously. "Sorry about that, I-um-never mind. What were you saying about the Headmistress, Miss...?"
"Jade, Professor. And she asked me to remind you of the staff meeting today. She said she would have let you sleep if it were the normal Monday meeting, but since it's the first of the year, she thought you should be there."
Hermione nodded. "When is this meeting? What time is it now?" She was about to turn around to check the clock, when the awkward look on Jade's face made her stop. "What?" Hermione asked apprehensively.
"It starts in two minutes."
"Two minutes?"
"Yes, Professor."
Hermione shut her eyes and let her head fall against the door frame with a loud thunk. Of course, why should anything be easy her first day? Or ever, for that matter. Letting out a deep sigh, she turned back to Jade and said, "Where is it being held? The teacher's lounge?"
Jade nodded, still managing to look equal parts embarrassed and discomfited. And now that Hermione was paying attention, rather downcast as well.
"Well, thank you for letting me know. I'll be up as soon as possible." Looking thoroughly pleased to have been dismissed, Jade walked swiftly through the classroom adjoining Hermione's rooms and out into the corridor.
Shutting the door behind Jade and internally dismissing her odd behavior, Hermione took one second to let out an afflicted groan before rushing at top speed to get ready. At least, as ready as she could get with her remaining minute and a half. As she closed her classroom door behind her and took off at an ungainly run toward the lounge, she could only think of how much she wished she'd been born a cat.
Hermione paused to regain her breath after her rapid trek through the castle, and knocked softly before opening the staffroom door. Upon walking inside, she fought to control her embarrassed blush as a dozen pairs of curious eyes turned to stare at her.
McGonagall removed her spectacles and smiled at Hermione graciously. "Miss Granger, good morning. I'm sorry about the rather late notice about today, I didn't think about you not knowing—well, anything. We'll have to schedule a proper teacher's orientation for someday this week."
Hermione nodded, folding her arms defensively and desperately trying to keep her gaze from falling to the floor. "Yes, Headmistress."
"Well, take a seat and a biscuit and we'll get started."
Quickly scanning the room for an empty chair, she gave a small smile in return to Pomona Sprout and Filius Flitwick, who had both waved at her cheerily. The warm feeling their greetings gave her was eradicated quite soon, as her eyes simultaneously found Malfoy and the only empty chair left, situated in the space directly across from him and in full view of his condescending expression.
Hermione sat down with a slight huff and glared ferociously at Malfoy, making it very clear that it was not her choice that she was even in the same room as him. Madam Pomfrey, seated to her right, passed the biscuit tin over. Looking inside, Hermione saw only oatmeal raisin lying dejectedly among some crumbs. Undoubtedly, those crumbs were all that remained of other more delicious, but unfortunately, long since eaten, options. Somehow, that just summed up her previous day and night perfectly.
She let the tin drop to the table loudly, and McGonagall looked at her reproachfully. Malfoy didn't attempt to dampen the smirk that spread across his face at her reprimand. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him in a silent warning and then turned, schooling her face into a picture of perfect innocence, and smiled delicately at the headmistress.
McGonagall took that as her cue to begin. "Ahem," she started rather awkwardly, "well, another year is upon us. I don't have to remind you all what a miracle it is that we are all sitting here today, much as some among us have for many, many years, and others before us, and still others before them.
"Inevitably, if there be any institution that strives to do good for all those that pass through its doors, and even to those beyond its gates, as Hogwarts does, those that crave chaos and disunity will attempt to disrupt and destroy said institution; thus rendering its fulfillment of such noble goals ineffective and powerless. We have experienced this firsthand. If we are to continue to instill not only knowledge, but also intelligence; compassion, in addition to common courtesy; and joy, to support happiness in more difficult times, then we must fight every day to keep the darkness at bay. Some days will hold a harder fight than others. These past few years have held the most difficult fight of our lives. Some fought with all they had. I'd like for us to take a minute now to remember those dear ones we have lost, fighting for the light."
Hermione felt her throat constrict and the ever-present weight in her middle grow heavier. She closed her eyes to keep tears from falling. They had certainly fought. And they had won. But they had lost so much; too much. What was victory worth if those for whom you paid such a dear price had then paid the ultimate price themselves? They had lost friends, and they had lost family. Everyone had lost parts of themselves, and Hermione didn't feel as if she would ever get hers back. All she could feel was the emptiness in her heart where her loved ones should be, a vague sense of not being present in her own body, and stabbing guilt when she thought of everyone who should be here instead of her.
Little Teddy needed his parents, dear Professor Lupin and Tonks. George was completely lost without his other half, Fred. And Harry. Poor, dear Harry. He had lost so much, Hermione was surprised that he was still upright. Just recently, little Dobby, a free elf. Dumbledore, his mentor and friend. Even Severus Snape, an unexpected and solitary link to Harry's mother, was gone before they could even discuss her blazing temper or her enduring patience, or how the same light that shone in her emerald eyes when she smiled still shone in Harry's today.
It just wasn't fair. Was nothing ever going to be? And those oft-repeated thoughts led Hermione to another emotion that surprised her with the intensity of its impact. She nearly groaned at the twisting, gnawing feeling of fury that burned in her gut like a fiery snake. Wrenching her eyes open, she fixed her gaze on Malfoy, who was surveying the various sniveling noses and watery eyes around them with open disdain. When his cold, hard eyes met hers, she nearly winced at how that snake in her gut raged and coiled into a tighter knot. Hermione didn't break eye contact, and she searched his face so earnestly that she thought she saw a hint of apprehension fill his expression as he leaned back imperceptibly. A few moments of intense scrutiny later, an air of finality came over her. Seemingly having come to some conclusion, Hermione pushed her chair back and stood up, still holding Malfoy's gaze in her own.
With all the eyes in the room on her, Hermione asked him a simple question.
"Do you regret any of it?"
Malfoy sat stonily and refused to answer, instead crossing his arms defensively and looking at the table.
A round tear fell from Hermione's emotion-filled eyes, and she breathed out shakily. "I thought so."
Hermione brushed away the rest of her tears and swallowed hard. She left the room, the sound of the door shutting after her barely cutting through the deafening silence she left in her wake.