"We need to talk."
Rey gave her a courteous nod. "Of course."
Leia leaned against the wall and gestured Rey in. She did as invited, taking care to try to get a read on Leia's emotions. Again, she was presented with a blank canvas.
The room was minimal. It was no larger than her quarters on the Finalizer. In one corner was a plain bed and the other was a small table. There was a plump, cream-colored three-piece sofa sitting in the middle of the room, facing a projection device of what Rey could only assume to be used for accessing the HoloNet. There were no decorations anywhere except for a pair of gold dice that hung off a single hook that was drilled into the wall right above the nightstand where her lightsaber rested.
All of this was taken in by Rey within a few seconds, just in time for her to hear the door slide shut. She turned back around, making sure to keep Leia in her sights. Gone were the motherly vibes she had grown used to in the short amount of time she was in the Resistance.
"Sit."
Rey thought against it, but decided to oblige. She sat down at the table which, coincidentally, had two chairs.
Leia moved to the other chair. It didn't escape Rey's notice that she did it gingerly, hobbling over. Her arms trembled as she tried propping herself in a position to sit. Rey scooted her chair back and stood up, breaking the small distance between them.
"Here. Let me help."
A sharp flash ran over Leia's features but she didn't protest as Rey's nimble hands rested on her shoulders and helped ease her into the chair. It was like instant relief. As soon as Leia leaned herself against the back of her chair, Rey could see the strain disappear. She frowned, unsure of what was happening before she made her way back to her own seat.
"It has been a while, Rey," Leia finally spoke, breaking the silence that had engulfed them for the last minute.
"That it has," she mumbled. For some reason, she found it hard to maintain eye contact with Leia.
"It has been a little more than a week. A lot has happened since Crait."
"That short? It feels like much longer."
Leia stared hard at her before speaking again.
"Let's drop the pleasantries, Rey." Leia closed her eyes. Rey wasn't sure what to expect, but she could say she certainly wasn't expecting Leia to heave a monumental sigh. When she opened her eyes, it was like she had aged decades.
"I saw the catastrophe of Rost."
Rey clenched her fists. True, the destruction felt like forever ago, but her memories were still fresh. She tried really hard to reel back her anger toward Leia, only succeeding when she saw that the General wasn't here to fight.
"What news has there been on the HoloNet?" She kept her voice steady.
Whether Leia noticed the façade or not, she didn't acknowledge it.
"The city is destroyed. The casualty count rose just above two hundred. The rest managed to escape aboard the city's emergency passenger ships."
"Two hundred people…" Rey's voice tapered off. The sickest part of it all wasn't that she felt terribly sorry for these people. It was that even though the First Order was responsible for millions, she never in a million years would have imagined Leia to be the propagator of the slaughter of civilians, even if it was only two hundred souls.
"Rey," Leia whispered, and Rey raised her head. This was the first time Leia had slipped a distinguishable emotion in her voice. "I'm sorry."
That did it. Rey stood up, kicking the chair over in the process.
"You're sorry?!" she shouted. A tiny look of fear plastered itself on Leia's face, but only for a split second before her lips pursed again. She didn't respond to Rey's outburst, and this only served to irk Rey more.
"Sorry for what?!" she continued. "For the death of those two hundred people, or for ruining the lives of thousands? That's all you have to say? You're sorry?!" Rey sneered.
"Rey, I would like to discuss—"
"Why don't you admit you're wrong, General," Rey mocked. "Out of everyone in this galaxy, you were the last person I'd expect to stoop so low—to resort to this kind of sick, despicable act. You were supposed to be the model of righteousness. What happened to everything the Resistance strived for? Or have you been so blinded by your vendetta against the First Order—"
"Rey—"
"Yes, I'm going to go there, Leia. Why don't you admit it? You let your own personal struggles consume you. You let it construe the goals of the Resistance for a selfish vendetta. You were so angry about Master Luke—no, your brother—and his death that you took it upon yourself to sit behind your throne of invincibility by paying someone to do the dirty work and attack the First Order without considering the consequences!" Rey finished her spiel, her heart thudding as painfully as she was breathing.
Leia turned her attention to something in her ear. Rey took great offense to that, but then realized that someone was trying to speak to her over her communicator. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could definitely hear Leia's response.
"Yes, I am okay. Just an altercation. No, there's no need to come in. Everything's under control."
It did strike Rey as odd originally how Leia invited her over into her chambers, as the General and leader of the Resistance for a private discussion, but now she realized that Leia was never unprotected. She must have posted help outside in case something had happened. She found that this just added another layer of irritation.
Leia finished reassuring whoever was on the other end of the line and then yanked out her earpiece, setting it on the table before them.
"My decisions will haunt me for the rest of my life."
"We all lose loved ones. It's inevitable. But to retaliate the way you did?" Rey asked, her voice cracking. "It's unspeakable."
Leia sighed again. "I had my doubts when hiring him. Han used to always tell me to never trust mercenaries. They don't care how they get the job done, so long as they get paid. The agreement was for him to destroy the First Order's transport ships, nothing else."
She looked Rey in the eyes. "I have never regretted anything, because at the end of the day, it always worked out. But I'm afraid I can't say the same for my actions this time. You're right, Rey," Leia admitted.
It somewhat unsettled her, knowing that someone as strongfooted as Leia was fessing up to her faults.
"I made a grave mistake, and I have to live with it. There is no excuse for my actions. I was wrong."
Rey's sigh rivaled Leia's. She was right: the past would never change. People could lament, but they would never be able to change the past. It would take time to cover the ugly stain. And Rey took this into account. She herself was no different. How many people placed her as the model of righteousness only to be let down?
As much as Rey's endless capacity to hate, she could never see Leia as a pure enemy, no matter how much she changed. The ultimate relationship—a mother-like figure that was there for Rey when no one had been for her whole life—would unanimously supersede any current feelings of misgivings. But that didn't mean she would forget. Forgive, but never forget.
"I am sorry, Rey."
Rey shook her head. "I forgive you, but it's not me you should be apologizing to."
"I should start somewhere. I always figured you would understand." Leia gave her a grim smile.
"Oh? Please enlighten me with how you reached that conclusion."
There was sheer silence for an extended period of time. Rey knew Leia had something to say, but was juggling whether it would be beneficial to the conversation at hand to vocalize it.
"I gave in, Rey," she finally said. "I gave in to my emotions. I surrendered to them and it led to this."
"Oftentimes emotions are misguided, but with the proper guidance, they can be utilized as a powerful weapon. You say that as if it's a bad thing. Which it isn't," Rey expressed, seeing how Leia was about to interrupt her. "Emotions make you stronger. Passion is key. It's what you do with it that matters."
"The point is," Leia continued, brushing her off. This annoyed Rey but she had enough control to squash it. "I am the figure of the Resistance. I have to be brave and show character. I have to present myself to what the Resistance should see me as—a General capable of keeping them alive and winning the war. I have always been Force-sensitive, Rey, but never actively sought to train in it like you have. I never noticed until then, but my brother had always been half of me. I could feel him inside. When Luke disappeared—"
"You lost a piece of your soul," Rey finished.
Leia nodded. "Exactly."
Rey knew what Leia was referring to. When she came to terms with whatever connection she and Kylo shared, she had envisioned what it would be like if one of them were killed. Just the mere thought of it at the time had begun to put Rey into a depressed stupor. What Leia must be experiencing was far harsher.
"The Force works in mysterious ways, Leia. If it's one thing I've come to learn over the last week, it's that there is a reason behind every decision."
"You place a lot of faith in the Force."
Rey shrugged. "No faith should be placed anywhere else. The Force is all-ruling. It's all-consuming. It connects everything in the galaxy and everyone has it. It represents the energy of all living things. We owe our lives to it." Her eyes scanned Leia. She was wearing the same metallic woven fabric cape that Rey had come to know her in. She hadn't changed one bit. "How is the Resistance?"
"Standing strong. We are nowhere the numbers we once were, so it's best to lay low. But the battle is far from over. Fighting to persevere over the methodologies of the First Order and persist in what we believe in…that matters the most." Leia's face scrunched up and she suddenly gave a rattling cough that persisted for a few seconds before residing.
"I must say," Leia leaned back into her chair. "I never expected our reunion to fold out this way. You have changed in more than one way." Her eyes slanted over to the object on the nightstand. "You have also created your own weapon."
Without asking for permission, Rey raised her hand to the side and lazily called her lightsaber over. Out of the corner of her eye, she viewed Leia stiffening, but ignored her. When the hilt touched her bare skin, she gave a tiny shiver of excitement at the tingles that arose. Quelling the desire to turn it on and admire the red glow, she instead turned her attention back to the General.
"Would you like to see it?"
"I already have, when you came off the ship." Her voice had adopted a cold edge to it.
Something about the slight hostile tone in Leia's voice spurred her on.
"Come on, Leia. You can't leave my lightsaber in plain view and expect it not to return to its owner," she teased. "Are you sure you don't want to see it? It really is quite beautiful." She took another draught of the sleek, glistening metal. "I suppose I should thank you. If it wasn't for Damesh, I wouldn't be here."
"I never wanted him to keep the Resistance a secret," Leia pushed forward, disregarding Rey's dark, playful nature. "The moment that I contacted him, he would have known anyways. I requested that he explain to you the situation—that I wanted to see you. Although I doubt you would've believed him, given the havoc he wrecked to the city."
"But he trapped you in the ship under the pretense that they were an independent party," Leia continued. "Perhaps he saw something about you I did not during the Battle of Rost."
Rey wasn't sure whether Leia's low undertone was a threat or a warning.
"Is there a specific reason for why you requested my presence so suddenly?"
Leia clasped her hands together. "Later—that doesn't matter right now. Damesh, he's—
"Dead."
"Yes. I had two Resistance members guard over the ship and they found the bodies. The Knights of Ren are as formidable as they sound."
Leia met Rey's gaze.
"Jarrok didn't do it." Rey leaned in, knowing what she was going to say would unnerve her. "I killed him. And you know what, Leia?" She leaned in even closer until she was in her ear, deciding to have a little fun. "I kind of liked it."
She withdrew to see a look of defiance on Leia's face, but the General stood her ground. "Tell me what happened."
"Just Damesh?"
"Everything."
"It's a long story."
"We have time. And before I forget, I received your message," she said out of the blue.
"What message?" Rey asked, racking her brain.
"The one you sent soon after you were taken by the First Order. Why do you think I haven't taken the liberty to contact you? I believed you to be held against your will, and to take the risk of sending an encrypted transmission to the Finalizer would raise many red flags if it was found."
Rey shook her head. "I originally thought the First Order was holding me against my will as well," she admitted. "But things…things have changed since then."
Leia remained silent, and Rey took that as a cue for her to begin.
So Rey did. She started from when she woke up in the interrogation room after the Battle of Crait, deciding to spare Leia the reminders of her former teacher and his battle with Kylo Ren. She breezed over the few days that she spent on the Finalizer, ignoring the finer details such as the time when she Force-choked the Stormtrooper and almost killed General Hux. She found the telling of being taught to come with ease too and begrudgingly admitted that she had begun to assimilate to the First Order, but once she reached Kylo, her voice hitched and her cheeks began to involuntarily redden on their own. She was sure it was visible to Leia, but the woman didn't acknowledge it. Continuing forth, she talked about Sula and the forge of her lightsaber all the way up to their landing on Rost and the chain of events that happened after, up until her story of how she escaped the crumbling debris only to be presented with Damesh and Jarrok as his captive.
"Kylo fooled Supreme Leader Snoke. I'm sure there has been news on the HoloNet of how he died?"
"Sliced in half by a lightsaber."
"What the HoloNet doesn't cover is how he did it. The lightsaber was next to Snoke. With a flick of a finger," Rey curled hers for a demonstration. "He turned the weapon to the side and ignited it. It's the same methodology I used to kill Damesh."
"And how do you feel?"
How did she feel? Rey thought to herself before answering.
"A bit guilty, but I did what had to be done."
"I see."
There was a much higher meaning behind those two words that Leia said, and if she guessed correctly, Leia was questioning her.
Rey stretched and popped her wrist. "I'm still the same Rey."
Leia shook her head. "No. You are a new Rey. Don't you remember that I'm Force-sensitive?"
"Absolutely. How could I forget?"
"I've never been able to manipulate the Force physically beyond anything outside of cheap parlor tricks. Ask for me to light your candle or float a piece of silverware and I can do it," Leia chuckled and then stopped. "But using the Force to move objects around or doing mind tricks is far beyond my level of expertise. Imagine the surprise I felt when I sensed you on the ship."
"You already knew I was aboard even before the doors lowered," Rey said, moderately impressed.
"Yes. I sensed a looming presence within, one unlike anything I've ever felt before. This was a new Force. As I'm sure you already know, unless a Force user hides their energy signature, they are easy to read. On the surface, it's black and white. When one reads another Force-user's energy signature, it's easy to identify the feel of the energy."
"Light or dark."
"Each side has its characteristics."
"Right. Master Luke taught me. A light-user or dark-user could sense both light and dark."
"Yet when I read you," Leia squinted. "I see a mixture of both light and dark inside you."
"It may be that I am just in transition."
"It may be, and yet this has rarely been heard of in history. One minute I sensed pure darkness, and the next I sense light, but right now, I sense a perfect balance. It's as if your spirit can tap into both energies."
"Although I can access both pools, it would ultimately depend on how I often I choose to dip into each."
Leia pushed back her chair with her mind set on something. Rey followed suit, intending on helping Leia stand. But then she shook her head.
"The top drawer in the nightstand—there's a book."
Rey raised her hand and pulled open the drawer, sensing its contents. There was a notepad and a pen and pencil on the left corner. On the right was something much bulker and much more worn and torn. She closed her grip around it and Force-called it over until it lay closed directly in front of her.
"This is an old Jedi text that my brother had his whole life. As much as he tried to convince you he was noble, he was quite the trouble-maker when he was young—he was quite the rebel, going against his Master's wishes. There was a time where he stole an ancient Jedi text and kept it for the remainder of his life."
"A Jedi text…" Rey murmured. "The Jedi temple on Ahch-To had many of these."
"The Jedi texts on Ahch-To were ones assembled by my brother himself. Although, they are no longer there. The temple burned."
Rey's eyes widened. "All of the history gone…there has to be more in the galaxy."
"There were many, until all that remained was the very first—on Ahch-To—until it burned down. This could very well be the last Jedi text in the entire galaxy."
"Well," Rey said, tapping her foot and feigning innocence. "I wouldn't say last…" she drew out. "I may have snatched the books from the tree before it burned down."
Leia stared at her for a long second before pulling her head back and laughing. Real laughter. Not a forced, banal chuckle, but a real laugh.
"You remind me of him. Luke."
Rey's eyes dropped from Leia's face to the book. There was a slight feeling of remorse inside her at the thought of Luke. There were a lot of things about Rey's past that she would never forget and possibly change if she had the chance to, and her ties with his life was a prime example.
Leia's laughter died after she saw that Rey didn't share the sentiment. Her commander eyes scrutinized the young girl sitting across from her, fingers fanning over the book.
"Aurebesh," Rey muttered to herself. She had never learned the language, but there was something in her that recognized it as familiar.
"Luke wanted me to give the text to you when it was necessary. Now is appropriate."
There was a word that caught her eye on the very first page that caught her eye.
"Force-bonds." All of a sudden, Rey had an inkling that many of her questions would be answered. Eager to read what the text had to offer, she tucked it inside the side of her pants, where she knew it would be safe.
"It was his hope that you would find everything you need in this text."
The conversation was coming to a close—Rey could sense it. Curious as to when she'd have time to read it and how Leia would respond, she asked: "Are you going to throw me into jail again?"
"No," Leia firmly stated. "About that, we need to discuss accommodations." She paused and Rey could see the gears turning. "Against many of the Resistance's wishes, I am giving you full rights to the Resistance base and its amenities. That includes the hangar, recreation area, lounges, and cafeteria. You will not be kept in binders, tracked, nor have someone by your side or that you must report to at any time. I have also given you access to your personal living quarters, next to the medical ward."
Rey was taken back at the gestures, pleased at how much trust Leia was putting in her. Whatever she was expecting as a response, it was not that. She was going to say something but stopped when it became apparent that Leia wasn't done.
"There are two wings in the new facility, West and East. Resistance member rooms amongst the list of amenities I mentioned are all in the East, directly connected to the landing platform you arrived on. We are in the West, where the medical ward and private housing reside. The exit to the Galactic City lies on the border of the West Wing, just beyond the medical ward. However, I advise against crossing the boundaries of the Resistance base. Once past, you will be in the heart of Coruscant. I am sure you are versed with their tolerances for Dark Force-users."
Upon seeing Rey's expression, she elaborated.
"All the galaxy reacts directly to news from the HoloNet, which although is accurate in some parts, has also misrepresented you. Coruscant has not taken to your defection lightly."
Rey made a mental note.
"You have a lot of power on Coruscant."
"In the past, perhaps. But my name only offers so much these days."
Rey was just about to ask her whether Leia believed she would stay with the Resistance when Leia answered her question.
"Granted, the stay is mandatory only for the time it takes for your Knight to recuperate. You are free to visit him anytime during working hours. The medical ward, as I mentioned earlier, is in the West Wing. After his release, your stay is optional."
Rey heard the open-ended offer at the end. Even though she couldn't come up with a specific answer for Leia, Rey appreciated the willingness of Leia to allow her to make her own decisions. It also hit her that this private meeting between the two of them was probably nothing more than for Leia to access her mental stability. If she posed a viable threat to the Resistance, then she doubted Leia would have offered her the same hospitality that she was given and thrown her back into the tiny cell.
"Duty calls. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me."
"It's not like I had much of a choice, did I?"
"No," Leia agreed, her mouth set in a grim line. Rey could literally see her eyes harden. Just like that, the General was back.
Leia made to stand up. Again, Rey was caught off guard by her unsteady gait trembling hands. She got to her feet much faster this time and helped Leia to stand, frowning in the process.
Leia extended Rey her arm and showed her to the door. The door slid open to reveal an empty hallway. Her stationed backup had left already.
"As I mentioned, many of the Resistance members do not agree with my decisions. It is my wish that you will not do anything to question the hospitality you have been given."
Rey gave her a small bow. "General." She turned to open hallway. There was a bittersweet taste on Rey's tongue. The conversation between the pair did not go the way she had expected things to unfold, and she wasn't sure if it was for the better or worse.
"And Rey."
"Yes?" she asked, twisting her head just far enough so that she could catch Leia with her peripherals.
"Do try to control your anger."
Rey gave Leia a deliberate show by fiddling with her lightsaber before a lighthearted smirk appeared. "Of course, General."
Another chapter. I really struggled my way through this one. Originally, I had planned on a complete one-sided reaction to where Rey decides Leia's act is unforgiveable, but it just didn't sit right with me. As dark as Rey could ever get, I don't think she'd ever fall to the point where she just completely erases her past - she's far too sentimental. I see her as the type of Dark force user that means business takes pleasure from causing other's pain with a playful side to her reserved only for people she shares personal bonds with. I don't see her dropping her past, as much as Kylo will tell her to. She treasures memories far too much, which is perfectly understandable for a scavenger who had no memories of anything positive or significant in her life until she got dragged into the fray by BB8.