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Part 2 of the Designation verse.
Word Count - 2990
You're All That I Crave
Thor wandered aimlessly. He thought of returning early to Asgard but shook the thought away. He already split his time too much for comfort, and he didn't wish to leave his team in the lurch for too long.
He just… he'd thought, even with her being a slightly older Little than he generally preferred, that he and Jane had had something special.
To be told he wasn't fulfilling her enough left him with a deep pain in his chest that even now, hours post the conversation, still ached.
As the sky begun to deepen, Thor sighed. With nowhere else to go, he would return to the compound. At least there, he knew he was needed and wanted by the people around him. Hopefully, that would help to sooth his caregiver personality enough to ease off the ache a little.
…
Holding Tony in his arms, if only for that few short seconds before the other man pulled away, did actually help. Thor had always felt more drawn to Tony than the others, had felt a need to make him smile as often as possible.
Though Tony was a baseline, there was something about him that drew Thor to want to take care of him. Something about him that made Thor want to hold him and sooth away the ever present notes of tensions in his strong shoulders.
Thor couldn't bring himself to be his usual jovial self, and aside from Tony, the team were aware of the reason. He could feel Tony's gaze on him at intervals through the meal and he wished nothing more than to reach out to him, to hold his hand even, just to make himself feel a little better.
He'd noticed there was more tension to Tony than usual, however, and he was also concerned for him. It seemed that more than just a long day at work was plaguing him, and Thor pondered on how to approach the subject without scaring Tony away.
One thing Thor knew about Tony was how skittish he could be in the face of genuine concern.
It was sad, that he'd had so little of it in his life that he found it suspicious when it was shown towards him.
He heard Bucky telling Tony about Jane and he smiled slightly at the concern when Tony asked if he was okay. Perhaps it wouldn't be too selfish to seek comfort from the Man of Iron after all.
…
Thor waited half an hour after Tony left before he excused himself from the team with a quiet goodnight. There were various offers of comfort and companionship if he felt the need, and he felt a wave of affection for them.
He stepped into the elevator and asked JARVIS to take him up to the penthouse to Tony. The elevator seemed to take longer than it usually did, and Thor felt a moment of worry that he would be refused entry at all.
Eventually, the doors opened and Thor stepped inside to find Tony sitting in an armchair, wearing sweatpants and a comfortable looking dressing gown.
"Tony," he greeted, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the peace in the room. "I hope I haven't disturbed anything important?"
"Of course not, big guy," Tony replied softly. "Come sit."
Thor sat down heavily on the sofa, wishing Tony had been on the sofa himself. He was craving physical contact, and Tony was often cuddly in the evenings. Not knowing how to ask for it, he looked up at Tony.
"I believe Bucky has told you of what happened with myself and the Lady Jane?"
Tony nodded, his brow pinching a little as worry filled his face. "He did. How are you holding up?"
Thor sighed. "I wish her to be happy, and if that cannot be with me… I do not want to hold her back from finding her happiness."
"It still sucks," Tony replied, his lips twisting unhappily.
Thor's lips tilted up and he nodded. "You are correct. It still sucks."
"Frosty told me that she wasn't exactly a perfect fit for you though?" Tony asked then. "So maybe you'll be happier when you find someone that fulfills your own needs too?"
"Perhaps," Thor admitted. It was true of course. Thor had always preferred his Little's to be young, his caregiver need much higher than most. The truth of it was that he'd settled, because he liked Jane as a person, and not many were as understanding as he'd believed her to be. "It is unlikely, I fear. Not many people understand that I cannot always be around, as much as it pains me to be away from my Little. I have responsibilities, here and also with my own people."
Tony sighed and reached over to pat Thor's arm. The singular touch was enough to send warmth up Thor's entire arm. "You'll find that one for you, Thor. I have no doubt about that."
"You are too kind, Anthony."
Thor watched, confused, as Tony's eyes dilated slightly and he bit his lip. He seemed to be fighting with himself, almost, and then the emotion was gone as quickly as it had arrived.
"I'm not being rude, Thor, but I really just need to get some sleep. Think you'll be okay?"
"Of course," Thor replied immediately. Tony didn't sleep often, he needed his rest. But… Thor really didn't want to leave to his own, admittedly beautiful, quarters. "I would not wish to deny you sleep when I know how little of it you get. Would… would it be okay if I were to remain here?" he asked, gesturing to the TV. "Our team wishes to comfort me, and while I am grateful that they care… I do not wish to face their pity this eve."
"Ah… sure, Thor. Whatever you need. I'll see you in the morning?"
Thor nodded and watched Tony stand immediately. Another burst of warmth filled him when Tony patted his shoulder, and he watched as the man left the room for his bedroom, the door closing firmly behind him.
There was a pause of silence, and then JARVIS asked what Thor wanted to watch. Thor asked for something of the Disney franchise. The team had introduced him to the marvellous animated movies, and they were wholesome and pure and just what Thor needed at the moment.
With half his mind on the man just a room away, Thor settled deeper onto the sofa, the comforting scent of Tony helping to settle him further.
…
Thor was almost asleep when a cry sounded. It was faint, and it took him a moment to place it as a Little cry; the kind that was both adult and child.
He sat up, looking around. The movie had finished and another was playing, one that Thor recognised from a team night. He watched the mermaid swim for a moment before he heard the cry again
It was… it was coming from Tony's room.
Thor stood and slowly approached the door. The cry was louder, and he pushed on the handle only to be refused entry.
"My apologies, Thor, but Sir wouldn't like anybody entering his private chamber when he's sleeping," JARVIS said quietly.
"There is a Little in there in need," Thor growled, trying the door with more force.
"I really must insist—"
"If you do not allow me entrance, I shall call for Mjolner and force my way inside," Thor interrupted firmly. It was not in his blood to allow for a Little to cry in such a way and not offer comfort.
There was a momentary pause and then the door opened beneath Thor's touch.
Thor stepped inside and gasped at the sight that greeted him.
Lying on the bed, in a one piece, was Tony. He was crying out, though he stopped when he heard Thor, and there was a pacifier lying beside him on the pillow.
Thor was, for lack of better phrasing, thunderstruck. He had no idea how Tony had hidden his designation, but there was no way could Thor walk away and leave him to cry.
He approached the bed slowly, taking in the barriers that kept Tony from falling out of the bed, until he was standing parallel with Tony.
His heart melted when Tony said shaking hand, making a grabbing motion to be lifted by Thor. His face was tear streaked and his bottom lip was still wobbling mournfully.
Thor lifted him easily, cradling him gently against his chest.
"It's okay, Little one," he murmured softly. "I have you, I have you, it's okay."
He kept up a constant stream of comforting words as he carefully put Tony's pacifier back in his mouth, and then he rocked him in his arms, walking him back and forth as Tony slowly fell asleep in his arms.
Eventually, he attempted to place Tony back on the bed, knowing that despite his own wants, Tony would likely not be comfortable to wake with Thor holding him. Except, when he tried to pull back, Tony let out a pitiful whimper and clung onto Thor's shirt, refusing to release his grip.
Thor smiled gently and pulled Tony back to his chest. He wouldn't remain in the bedroom, however, and he returned to the lounge with Tony secure against him, and retook his earlier seat on the sofa, half lying down so Tony would be more comfortable.
Thor wrapped a blanket from the back of the sofa around Tony and then wrapped him up in his arms. He pressed a gentle kiss to Tony's head and sighed happily.
This was the most settled he'd felt in months, and with the way Tony slept peacefully, all tension gone from his body, Thor thought that perhaps that was true for Tony too.
Or at least, he hoped so.
…
Thor watched as Tony fled the room and felt his heart sink. He thought to leave, but couldn't bring himself to do so. He needed to assure Tony that he wouldn't tell anyone of what he'd discovered.
Having given it some thought over the night, he found he could understand Tony's reticence to tell people he was a Little. Thor didn't understand the Midgard way of thinking, of certain designations being superior to others, but he did understand that Tony couldn't afford to be seen as weak, as many thought Littles and Subs to be.
He waited patiently for Tony to reemerge, and eventually, he did, dressed in his daily armour of a form-fitting grey suit.
"I—"
Thor cut him off carefully, wanting to assuage his fears immediately. "I understand why you have chosen to keep your designation a secret. I would never betray your trust, Anthony."
Tony swallowed his relief and nodded, though he didn't speak.
Thor continued, wanting to put his hopes out there even if there was the slightest possibility of them coming true. "I would… I would ask that you allow me to take care of you, when you are in Little space. You… you are the sweetest baby, Anthony, so loving. I very much enjoyed our night, and I feel… you enjoyed it too?"
"You… you were great, big guy," Tony murmured, and Thor took pleasure in the small smile on Tony's lips. "I… can't, though. I don't… I don't go into headspace often. I can't afford too, if someone were to find out… it wouldn't be pretty."
His heart falling, despite expecting the answer, Thor nodded slowly. He would do nothing but respect what Tony wished of course, even if he was disappointed.
"Well. Whenever you have a need… please just be aware that I will be certainly very happy should you have need of me."
"I… thanks, Thor."
Thor smiled and the two travelled down in the elevator together, Thor getting out on his own floor and Tony continuing down to the garage, where he said Happy was already awaiting him.
Thor watched him go with a heavy heart. Tony was everything he desired, both as a Little and a companion, and yet, he wasn't for Thor. He would stand by his words and hope and pray that Tony would, eventually, seek the offer Thor had given.
…
Thor sat in the waiting room, glaring at the wall as though with enough will, he could simply burn it away. His hands were clenching violently, his wish for his hammer to just knock his way through real and strong.
Tony, his Tony, was alone in the hospital wing awaiting the arrival of his friend. He was alone, and possibly Little with nobody there to care for him. The rest of the team sat around waiting for permission to enter too, though for them, this was routine.
It was once routine for Thor too, as they all knew that Colonel Rhodes was the only allowed to enter the room until the okay was given. Thor wondered if that meant Rhodes knew Tony's secret, if he was Tony's caregiver.
That thought just made Thor angrier still, since Rhodes hadn't been there when Tony needed him last.
He knew that was unfair, particularly when he didn't actually know if Rhodes was Tony's caregiver, but he couldn't help himself.
Finally, the man arrived, his footsteps echoing in the corridor as he hurried towards the room. He exchanged a few words with Miss Potts before he slipped inside the room, closing the door firmly behind him.
Eventually, the team were allowed into the room, though only for a few moments. Thor looked Tony over critically, checking him for injuries as best he could while in the room with those not in the know.
He desperately wanted to hold him, to check him over more personally, though he kept himself back, leaning against the wall. He saw the way Colonel Rhodes eyed him and wondered if Tony had told him of their night.
He thought that perhaps he had, and he felt a burning curiosity to know what that conversation had been. He'd hoped that Tony felt safe and happy with him, but he hadn't wanted to spook Tony by bringing the subject up and asking.
When the forms were filled in, Rhodes assured them all that he'd be staying with Tony in the penthouse for a few days until Tony was better, and they were politely but forcibly asked to leave the two in peace for Tony to heal.
The team had grumbled at that amongst themselves once they were away from Tony, but they respected the request.
If Thor spent much of the following three days in the gym, attempting to work off his worry and anger, that was his business and nobody asked him about it.
…
Thor was practically jubilant to see Tony on the third evening at the dining table, looking tired but in good spirits.
When Tony told the team about his designation and got nothing but love and support from them, Thor held his silence, simply watching Tony with pride and happiness. He was sure it was obvious on his face when Tony looked at him and smiled.
"Thor found out a little while ago," Tony added. He was watching Thor carefully, as though expecting something other than the love he found. "He looked after me one night when I dropped and Rhodey wasn't here." He turned to Thor. "You made me feel safe."
Words had never hit so deeply or felt so warm.
Tony took a deep breath and stood up, rounding the table until he was standing directly in front of Thor.
"If… if your offer is still —"
"Of course it is," Thor said, not even waiting for the question to be complete. He held his arms out in offer, awed when Tony leant into him immediately. He couldn't help himself, and he pulled Tony into his lap, holding him tightly.
He looked up to Colonel Rhodes watching them with a happy smile, and he nodded at Tony slowly. Thor felt Tony relax even more and he squeezed him gently.
There were still things to sort out, questions to ask and schedules to make, but for right now, Thor just revelled in having his Tony, his Little, in his arms.
This was what he needed. This was what he craved. The team surrounded them, offering congratulations and beaming smiles and Thor was so happy he felt like he could burst.
…
That evening, Tony shyly asked Thor to join him in the penthouse. They settled on the sofa together at either end of it, though Tony slipped his feet beneath Thor's thigh.
Thor let his hand lay against Tony's ankle, occasionally stroking it with his thumb.
"I don't need dropping too often," Tony said, wrinkling his nose. "Though if you needed it, I'm not unwilling so long as I have the time."
Thor nodded thoughtfully. "That will be helpful when I am needed in Asgard," he admitted, smiling when Tony nodded. "Though I would like to try and drop you perhaps more than you need while I am here. Of course, I can work to your schedule, Anthony, I know you are very busy."
Tony nodded. "It's settled down for now, I have more time. I… Rhodey had me dropped, since the hospital, so I'm okay for a while but… if you wanted… Pep's insisting I take the rest of the week off of work so…"
"I would be honoured," Thor replied. "Whenever you wish."
"I… I don't want the team to see me. At least… not yet. I just… I spent so long hiding it, that letting other people see that side of me, even though they know, it's hard."
"Whatever you wish," Thor repeated. "Perhaps, for this evening, you should stay as yourself and we shall watch a movie? As much as I adore you as a Little, Tony, you should know, I adore you just as much as yourself."
Tony blushed and ducked his head. "I… I'd like that."
Written for;
365; 5. Superior
1000; 21. Thunderstruck
