A/N: Thanks so much for the lovely reviews guys and keep them coming, I always like to hear what you think and where I need to change or improve things :) As usual italics = Elvish!
The noise is unlike anything she had ever heard before and for a second she can do nothing other than stare in horror at the carnage around her. It isn't until Sam lets out a tiny battle cry beside her and rushes towards an orc making it's way to them that she snaps out of her stupor and dives into the battle herself.
For a while nothing matters other than killing, Meduineth imagines she is back on the training fields in Imaldris with her brother. She concentrates on not feeling, on not retching and emptying her stomach as she feels the warm blood of her enemies splatter across her face and hands, on doing nothing other than cutting them down and keeping her friends safe. Aragorn's cry causes her head to jerk up and she sees him thrown across the room hitting the wall and slumping unmoving to the floor and it takes her a moment to work out the scream that suddenly echoes around the chamber is her own as she stands staring at him. She is unaware of anything else around her as rage takes her over and she fights her way towards the man lying motionless on the floor.
"Medui… ,títhen-pen, come we must move," Aragorn is standing in front of her and she can't work out how, she is rooted to the spot swaying where she stands, gazing unseeingly around at the dead orcs and the cave troll before she is pulled roughly along behind him. She can barely breathe as they stop once more and are surrounded by orcs. The fear that he had been taken from her was so crippling that she was still struggling to comprehend what was happening and even though she can hear Boromir talking, hear Gandalf shouting instructions at them, the orcs retreating, being pulled along once again, it is like she is detached from it all, as if she is watching it in a dream.
"Meduineth, jump," those words bring her back to the present more quickly than anything else, though she wishes they hadn't because suddenly everything is in multi colour, her senses heightened as she can suddenly hear everything and see everything, feel everything! She stares across the gap to Legolas who has his arms open to catch her before he switches places with Boromir as he begins shooting down orc archers trying to kill them.
"Medui, you must jump now," Aragorn suddenly whispers in her ear and she turns briefly to see his face. To any other he looks just as determined and in control as ever but she could see the fear in his eyes and so takes a deep breath and grasping his hand in her own to squeeze it briefly she closes her eyes and jumps with a scream. For a moment she feels that she will fall forever until strong arms suddenly close around her and she is pulled so forcefully into Boromir's broad chest that the air is knocked from her lungs.
Watching Aragorn and Frodo struggle back up the stairs, watching them look across the impossible leap, the stairs crumbling, them falling and finally being caught, she finds it impossible to get any air back into her lungs.
"Quick, over the bridge," Gandalf yells and they are running again, Meduineth still gasping for breath as she tries to keep up. Suddenly though everything seems to slow down as she turns to see Gandalf has stopped in the middle of the bridge facing the demon that was chasing them. Frodo is screaming out his name whilst Boromir holds him back and once again Meduineth finds herself rooted to the spot, horror overwhelming her as she witnessed the man she had come to see as a Grandfather face an evil unlike anything she had seen.
"You shall not pass," he screams, the crack of his staff against the stone sending chills down her spine and then relief crashing through her so quickly that her legs nearly buckle as the bridge crumbles and the Balrog falls into the abyss, Gandalf turning back to them. She smiles then, moving towards him automatically, the smile freezing on her face and ice filling her veins as a fiery chord wraps around his ankle and pulls him backwards.
"NO!" the scream ripped from her throat is so loud it hurts her feet moving of their own volition to get to him before strong arms are wrapped around her stomach and she is pulled backwards against a broad and solid chest. "Let me go, Gandalf," she is screaming and crying her and fighting in her desperation to reach him.
For a second his eyes connect with his and she feels like her entire world is crashing around her as she continues to struggle to reach him.
"Fly you fools," he manages the gasp out before letting go and then he is falling out of sight and Meduineth sees black spots dancing across her vision, her world tilting and moving away from her and she gives up fighting, her body going limp against the one that held her as she is picked up and dragged outside. The blinding light stinging her burning eyes and she screams again trying to rid herself of the pain that she felt inside her.
The fellowship looked broken and desperate as they stood in the sunlight, the hobbits crying in each others arms, Legolas gazing around in disbelief, Gimli and Boromir fighting to understand what has happened and Aragorn wiping his sword clean of the blood of the enemy, attempting to be strong but his eyes hold such anguish that it makes her breath stutter. He meets her gaze and moves forward to embrace her quickly but she pulls away, scared that she would break down completely if she let herself feel. She needed to be strong now.
"I'm okay," she says thickly, looking away from his gaze, knowing that if he took one look at her he would see her torment, "really, we must get moving," she says in barely more than a whisper moving to gather Sam and begin walking towards the forest of Lothlorien.
They run all day without pausing, their grief pushing them forwards and driving away their weariness. Meduineth is struggling to come to terms with the guilt she felt, of course she knew that it was not her fault, that there was little she could have done to save him but she had not felt grief like this before and could not cope with it. She had been young when her parents died and had not truly understood or grieved for them, this though was different. Gandalf had been there through all the happiest moments of her life. She often felt like she didn't truly start living until Aragorn had rescued her and Gandalf had been there to help her grow up, he had taught her much of Middle Earth and she had thought that he would always be there and the idea that she would never see him again was too much to bear.
"The dwarf breathes so heavily we could shoot him in the dark," a voice says coolly, pulling Meduineth from her mind and she flings herself at him, his quick reflexes the only thing that allow him to catch her.
"Meduineth, what is it what is wrong?" he asks concern lacing his voice as he holds the girl in his arms.
"I am sorry Haldir," she murmurs after a moment when she has composed herself, feeling her face flushing deeply, "I… I have missed you," she finishes staring fixedly at her shoes as she hears him chuckle, although she can hear the slight tension underlying his tone.
"I have missed you too my little friend," he says ruffling her hair a little, "you bring great evil here," he continues, "come," and silently they follow behind him, surrounded by the other elves and despite the fact that they are safe for the first time in many long weeks their grief allowed them little time to appreciate it.
When they reach the talon, which serves as watch post for the guard, Aragorn immediately begins a hushed argument with Haldir whilst the other members of the fellowship sink to the floor, exhaustion washing over them.
"I am loathe to wake her," Aragorn murmurs as the decision is finally made to take the fellowship before the lord and lady of the wood.
"I will carry her, she is clearly in need of the rest," Haldir says, starting a little at the immediate growl Aragorn emits stepping towards her.
"No, I will wake her, she needs to be awake for this or she will never forgive us," he snaps crouching down and gently shaking her shoulder, his heart constricting painfully as her eyes open blearily, staring up at him with unrestrained hurt.
"What is it?" she whispers thickly and he takes a second to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear,
"We must go to see your grandparents," he whispers and she tenses a tiny amount which makes him sigh. He knew that she still struggled with feeling worthy of the attention of the Lord and Lady and he sometimes wondered how he could make her see herself as the accomplished and beautiful woman he saw when he looked at her. "Come títhen-pen," he whispers instead as he pulls her to her feet steadying her when her weary body waver and sways, noting for the first time the small trickle of blood at her neck, "you are wounded," he says his eyes flashing to hers in concern but she merely offers him a weak little smile.
"It is nothing, I will tend to it later," she replies before grasping his hand in hers, "do you mind?" she whispers, her face flushing prettily as she gestures their entwined fingers, "I need… please don't let go," and he feels both warmth and pain flood him at the desperation in her voice.
"Never Medui, I promised remember," he murmurs squeezing her hand slightly before gently pulling her forwards to fall into line with the others, studiously ignoring the knowing looks from both Haldir and Legolas as he passes them.