Where have I been? Let's not even get into those details.
I got stuck half way through writing this for literal months (as you can see) but now I've finally pulled something together that I can be satisfied with to share with you all. Luckily enough, the other few chapters just need a few loose ends tying up so expect them...soon if university and life doesn't hinder me from posting.
Also, I wrote a tiny part in there in a different POV, that's just how it flowed for me, didn't seem right in first person.
Everyone that's been waiting for an update: y'all are my ride or dies, thank you for all the reviews and messages, I take them all to heart aha
New readers: holla :)
Now picking up where we left off last...I hope you enjoy :)
I'm pretty sure that if looks could kill, Ichigo Kurosaki would have been a dead man by now.
I could practically see the knives Kaien was throwing at him with him gaze and I'm surprised that Ichigo didn't even flinch. Instead, he came up right behind me, raised his hand to the door jamb and said, "Didn't I tell you before at training Kai? We do a lot of Chemistry during the week."
At the way he emphasized Chemistry I skipped my usual pink and turned red.
It honestly couldn't sound any more suggestive than that was and Kaien looked like he was about to pop.
"You bastard," he growled.
"C'mon Cuz, I know you've got better insults stacked up in that spiky head of yours," said Ichigo casually.
I honestly had no idea how Ichigo was managing to sound so...normal. I opened my mouth about three times no to say something and nothing would come out. Kaien took a step forward, fists clenched and my voice finally found itself.
"Umm, how bout this, I'll come to you in a few minutes Kaien, just let me speak to Ichigo for a bit...and stuff," I said as calmly as I could. It was a wonder how my voice didn't tremble at all.
He turned his gaze to me and nodded. "Sure. Whatever, door's open when you're ready," he said before turning and leaving. I closed the door and sighed.
"You can't possibly be thinking of going to him," scoffed Ichigo, sitting on the bed and retrieving his clothes.
I held my robe tighter around myself. There it was again. That tone of voice.
"And why shouldn't I?" I asked watching him get dressed.
"I'm pretty sure we've covered this before, I don't like you around my cousin" he said yanking on his shirt.
"I'm not going over there to sleep with him Ichigo, Kaien is just my friend" I said, standing in front of him.
"Just your friend huh? Just like I am?"
I looked at him incredulously. No way was he going to use that against me.
"You know what I mean," I said, "don't you dare suggest otherwise,"
"You might as well be," he said stepping towards me an backing me to the wall. "Fuck, for all I know, all these little lessons here are probably for him aren't they?"
And now he just starting to irk me. Ichigo doesn't irk me...ever. I'm usually too busy fawning over how handsome he is but this is borderline ridiculous.
"Ichigo, we agreed to do this before I ever met your cousin," I said in a surprisingly serious voice. How dare he accuse me of all this? Did he really think that little of me?
In the back of my mind I could hear calm Orihime telling me that it would make sense if I just told him how I felt but rational Orihime was telling me that if I did tell him there was a 98% chance that he'd walk out and never speak to me again. I have no idea what he'd do with the other 2%. Irrational Orihime wanted to fight.
Rational Orihime was putting up a fight against irrational Orihime.
And irrational Orihime was kinda winning the mental battle right now. Wielding sai swords and everything.
His hands slammed against the wall, caging me in. "That's not the point is it,"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm asking who are you doing all this for? Learning sex for? Who? What's so special about them? Why don't you just fuck them and get it over with?"
Okay, code red.
"I think you should leave," I said quietly, pressing my hands to his chest. He didn't ease up though. If anything he pushed himself closer to me.
"Tell me."
"Ichigo, you're making me uncomfortable-"
"Tell me!"
"Why does it matter to you anyways?! It's not like we're dating or anything or that you'd ever ask me out so WHY is it such a BIG DEAL?!"
I slapped my hands over my mouth and stared at him in horror. I can't believe I just said that to him. I can't even believe I just raised my voice at him like that. He stared at me, with a gaze that almost had me looking to the floor, but I couldn't. Not this time anyways. Finally he eased up.
"You're right. Goodnight Inoue."
I didn't look at him when he slammed the door shut.
I slid to the floor still shocked.
Why did that feel so...final?
Ichigo's mind was in turmoil.
And he was angry. Irrationally so.
What right did he have but then again, why was he so...
He refused to use the word jealous.
His emotions just got the better of him was what it was.
He didn't do jealousy.
But Orihime could do so much better than Kaien...but then again she could do so much better than him too...
He slammed the door to the main building and stormed to the other side of the student accommodations. He needed his best friend right about now. Even though they weren't on the best terms Rukia always knew what to say.
So, an hour later after I'd calmed down and pulled myself together I went to Kaien's.
I know, judge me. But I felt like I owed him that much. I opened the door to a surprisingly clean flat.
"Kaien?"
"In the bathroom Orihime, gimmie a sec okay?"
"Um...I can leave if you want me to?" I said, sitting on the swivel chair at his desk.
He finally stepped out the bathroom, drying his hand with a towel. He threw it on the bed and then sat on it too staring at me.
"Orihime, what's going on with you and my cousin?"
"What do you mean? We're just friends," I said, trying to keep my voice straight as possible. On the inside I flinched. I don't even know what we are now.
"Right. And in reality I'm a woman. Call me Katherine. Now tell me the truth, there's no need to lie to me,"
"That's all there is to it," I replied, staring pointedly at the floor.
"There is no way that your male "friend" would be walking out of the bathroom in a towel just like that. He's not your boyfriend, Ichigo doesn't date, are you fucking him?"
"No! We just- you know..-"
"So you're fuck buddies then? Huh. Wouldn't peg you as that kind of girl really Orihime, you come off as such a sweet pure girl," he said darkly.
"We're not that either, frankly, I don't know what we are, but one thing's for sure, we're not what I want us to be," I said, resting my head on the chair.
"You love him?"
I said nothing. He nodded and huffed to himself.
"Thought as much. You know it's highly unlikely that he'd ever date you right. Ichigo has serious trust issues."
"I know that already, you're not telling me anything I'm not already painfully aware of," I said bitterly.
"Then why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Because it's the only way I'll get to have him, even if it's for the shortest amount of time," I whispered.
He facepalmed.
"Orihime. For such a smart girl, you're incredibly dense. You deserve better."
I bit my lip. How many times have I heard Tatsuki say that to me before? Too many times to count. Even Nel at times, but she's the kind of friend that would support any decision you made and be there for you whether it goes good or bad.
"You deserve someone that's willing to give you the world and then some, someone that wants to give you all of them and as much as I love my cousin, he's a bastard and he doesn't deserve you if he isn't willing to give you all of himself."
"I know where I stand with him and I know what to expect from him Kaien."
"I don't think you do. I think in the back of your head, you hang on to the dream that he's gonna stick with you after whatever this thing is you have with him is done"
Okay, so he had me there. But it's not like I was going to admit that he was right was I?
"Why do you care so much?" I asked, choosing to divert the conversation slightly.
He laughed bitterly. "Isn't it obvious? I really like you Orihime."
My jaw dropped.
Wait...what?
"No, you don't," I said softly.
"Yes, I do,"
"We barely know each other-"
"You're right, and I've broken up with Rukia for nearly two years now and since then you're the first woman I've ever considered seriously getting in a relationship with. I came here hoping to get her back and instead I move in and see this gorgeous redhead saying that she's assigned to show me around and help me adjust and all I wanna do is kiss you and take you out and then I find out in the worst possible way ever that you're pining over my cousin. Which shouldn't even be surprising because Ichigo knows-and gets- all the pretty girls. The way you belittle yourself is almost painful. You're so beautiful yet you don't even see it, and half the guys on campus want you yet still you pine after the one that hardly considers you as anything more than a notch on his bedpost."
"I am not-,"
"Yes. You are. Just like everyone else, even Rukia."
"He's always considered me to be his friend-"
"Yes and so is Rukia. As well as Rangiku and most of the other girls out there. But they're all notches. The day Ichigo commits fully is the day hell will freeze over"
"You're right," I whispered. "But underneath all that he's so-"
"I know, he'd be great boyfriend material if he wasn't so emotionally stunted. Let's just say he has serious issues when it comes to stuff like that and leave it okay? It's not really my story to tell."
I nodded, swallowing the huge lump that was in my throat.
Here I was in some guys room having him confess to me and tell me how I could do so much better...but why couldn't I just jump into his arms and ride off into the sunset like in those dumb romance novels?
Because the heart knows what it wants I guess.
Or maybe I was stupid.
But then again they did say that love makes you do some stupid things.
He seemed to sense that my mind was a mess and took hold of my hands.
"I'm sorry I pushed this on to you Orihime, but I'm not usually someone that keeps my feelings hidden, I wanted you to know how I feel. Now that that's out of the way, I'm happy to just be your friend since my stupid emotionally stunted cousin seems to have your heart in a huge cage with his name written on it,"
"I-Thank you Kaien," I managed to choke out. "You're a great friend,"
He smiled that 1000 watt smile that mentally short circuits me all the time and then pulled me into a tight hug.
"If he hurts you in any way though, cousin or not I'll break his legs,"
I giggled at that and slapped him lightly on the back. "You will do no such thing to him,"
He smirked. "Right. But whatever it is that you're doing with him-"
"Be careful. I know. I get told that at least twice a day by a few select friends," I said, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.
"Well it can't hurt to have one more friend reinforce it for you,"
"No effing way!" Hissed Nel.
"Yes effing way," I whispered back, flipping through a reference book.
We were in at the back of the library and I had a paper to complete, plus I needed one of my two best friends to talk about the mess that was last night.
"As if Kaien said all that stuff...as if Kaien dated Rukia...as if Ichigo-"
"Nel please," I sighed, closing the book and pushing it away, "I can't bear to think of Ichigo right now,"
"I know, I'm sorry but honestly, I would not have wanted to be in your place last night with Ichigo, especially after what you two had been up to prior to Kaien showing up,"
I blushed, remembering how I got Ichigo off before everything went to hell.
"It's almost funny how everything happened," I said softly, leafing through my notes.
Neliel popped a gummy bear into her mouth- who knows where they come from she doesn't have a bag with her- and grimaced. "You should totally write a book. I'd read it,"
I snorted. "About how I'm in love with the university whore and is letting him have his way with me under the ruse of just being friends?"
"Definitely get to writing that book,"
I laughed at her tone of voice and highlighted something before continuing.
"You Nel Tu, are a mess."
"I know. That's what Tats...oh fudge,"
I whipped my head up from my book so fast I nearly got whiplash.
"You spoke to Tatsuki? When?"
"Um...yesterday?"
"What did she say? How is she? What did you tell her?"
"She's fine, I just confronted her about being Rukia's new bffl is all...she misses you, you know that right?"
I sighed.
"Well if she did miss me she knows where I live,"
"And you know where she lives too."
"She walked out on me Nel,"
"Because she can't watch you do whatever it is that you're doing with Ichigo when she thinks she knows the outcome,"
"That doesn't mean she has to shack up with Rukia fricking Kuchiki of all people!"
"Shh!"
The librarian appeared out of nowhere startling me. I smiled at her in apology and turned back to Nel who was staring back at me conflicted.
"You know how spiteful she can be Orihime,"
"But Rukia? She could have run a cat over and it would have hurt me less Nel,"
"You have a point but seriously, you two need to talk it out. Girl's night is lonely without her and she's starting to look like a girly girl now with hanging out with Kuchiki so much...it's starting to freak me out," said Neliel worriedly.
I snorted and highlighted a few final points on my sheet before closing the book finally.
"Right, I'm finished. Shall we go?" She nodded and we cleared the table, put the books back in the shelves and made our way through the maze of books. On the way out sat around a table in a corner I saw a head of orange and black close together whispering. It was obvious who they were. I stopped walking and stared at the two watching as Rukia placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed soothing circles there still talking to him. Thankfully, before either of them could realize they were being looked at Neliel hauled me right out the building, not stopping until we were outside the flats.
"What in the world were you thinking Orihime?" She almost shrieked, rooting around her bag for the keys.
"They've clearly patched things up between them," I said blankly.
"Of course they have. They're Ichigo and Rukia. They tell each other everything and you know it." She said, letting us into the building.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and followed her on autopilot.
"Then why is it so hard for me to speak to Tatsuki?"
"Because you two are stubborn alike and even though it doesn't look like it Orihime you love to have things your way. So here's my advice whether you like it or not; let go of your pride baby girl. Talk to Tatsuki. Bare your feelings to Ichigo, let him level the playing field as well and sort this mess out before you get yourself even more hurt. Or you cut him off and move on. Kaien is right there waiting on you and you like him- don't even try to deny it- but don't let this whole thing keep dragging out. If you do you'll lose a best friend and you'll lose out on a chance with the guy you love and I don't think you two should leave things like this."
"You think we could work it out?"
"Of course you can. Ichigo is lowkey crazy about you, but right now I think you need a break from him. Sort things out with Tatsuki, sort your feelings out and then and only then do you speak to Ichigo. Got it?"
"Got it."
"Good. Now come watch some sailor moon with me and comb my hair. I haven't looked after it in 5 days and I have a date tomorrow"
I laughed. "Nel you mess!"
"I know but that's why I have you, to sort my crap out like I help you sort yours" she said dropping her bags to the floor and booting up her laptop.
I smiled.
"You're right"
Nel roller her eyes at me then turned her head back to the computer screen while I looked around her messy desk for the hair brush.
"Well duhh! Now hurry up, my hair isn't gonna untangle by itself"