-Stands at the pulpit and looks proudly down upon you all-
Allow me to be petty for a minute: ICHIHIME IS CANON.
After all the verbal abuse and bashing that we've received, we're finally set in stone.
TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE GUYS. TEN YEARS. AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.
On a side note: I've finally gotten something out for you guys, be proud of me, it really hasn't been easy.
To my long time readers, thank you so much of bearing with me. I have mad love for you all.
To everyone that's left me kind and supportive messages, it really means a lot to me, thank you.
To my new readers, welcome and I hope you enjoy.
I've been looking for work while i'm out of university and it really occupies my time but i'm aiming to update soon!
Enjoy xoxo
It had been three weeks since Ichigo walked out on me.
Three weeks since Kaien confessed to me.
Three weeks since Nel told me to make up with Tatsuki.
Three weeks of me watching my work load pile up.
Let's just say I kind of let my life go.
Everyone had noticed that something was up, for one, Ichigo didn't sit with us anymore, which meant that the guys didn't really hang out with us that much during lunch or our free time anymore. This caused Nel to be grumpy because she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend but he refused to sit around us without his "squad" because it made him look like a word that I refuse to repeat for fear of my brother's spirit appearing out of nowhere and washing my mouth out with soap.
Tatsuki was now a regular with Rukia and Rangiku came to sit with us less often (obviously the work of Her Majesty Kuchiki, but I'm not mad, annoyed yes, but definitely not mad). I felt like I had to make appointments to see my friends, including Nel and I hated it.
So here I am, standing outside Tatsuki's door, gathering up the will to knock. I know I've been out here for more that half an hour but if you knew Tatsuki like I did you couldn't blame me.
We all have our friends.
We all have our best friends.
We all love our best friends and we'd do pretty much anything for them.
But let's be real, there is one trait that all our best friends have that makes us want to punch kittens.
Tatsuki was painfully petty and dangerously malicious. Especially when she didn't get her own way.
One time Tatsuki popped her spare scrunchie just because she didn't want to lend it to anyone. She's that kind of petty. Look at what she did when I said I wouldn't give up on Ichigo. She started hanging out with my Rukia Kuchiki. The one person that could actually take Ichigo away from me and she's unapologetic for it too. She's helped her spread rumours about me (people still give me looks around campus) and she probably won't even apologize. I held my hand up to knock and as soon as I was about to hit the door it opened.
Huh.
Well that saved me from knocking.
"What do you want?" Tatsuki asked coldly.
"Hi Tatsuki, I'm fine too thanks for asking," I said slightly sarcastically. Or at least I tried to, I've been told that my sarcastic tone sounds nothing of the sort.
"I'm busy,"
"Doing what?" I challenged.
"Absolutely nothing. Now get outta my way," she said in a steely voice.
I gulped. She wouldn't use any martial arts on me...right? A part of me was sure she wouldn't but there was the part of me that wouldn't put it past her at all.
"Let me in and let's talk," I persisted. "This has gone on for too long"
She huffed and begrudgingly let me in.
"You realize that if anyone should be angry with anyone it should be me to you right?" I started off. "You're being childish again."
"Is that so?" She said, flopping onto her bed and going through her phone.
See what I mean? She's going to pretend to ignore me and this would frustrate me to no end.
"You told Rukia about my harassment and she twisted it around to make it look like I sleep around for good grades," I said as calmly as I possibly could. Heaven knows how I kept my voice from shaking. I've never said it out loud before. Ever since it happened I kind of just filed it away in the back of my head in a drawer that said "never open". Because I never wanted to think about what Mayuri-sensei almost did to me again. But Tatsuki blurting my business out to Rukia Kuchiki hurt more that I ever thought it would. I tried not to show it and Nel has asked me about it but I would brush it off but in truth I felt like she stepped on all our years of friendship by doing that.
She at least had the decency to look guilty right now.
"I-"
"Not to mention, still hanging out with her after everything, especially knowing that I like Ichigo and-"
"He's no good for you,"
"You're not the judge of that!" I said a bit exasperatedly, "you can't decide who I like or don't like Tatsuki! Even if it means complete and utter heartbreak for me,"
My voice cracked at the end. Ahh snap, now I'm crying. I hated crying.
She frowned and slid off the bed to sit beside me.
"I know my actions lately haven't been the best friend quality lately and I will admit, it's been really childish of me, to the point where I kinda started to hate myself," she put an arm around me and hauled me to her in a slightly awkward hug, "and I am actually very sorry. I should have known you'd have been hurt and you know I hate fighting with you but I don't want to see you getting hurt. I don't want to see you cry over any guy, especially one like Ichigo who can't see what's ight in front of him and it made me angry. And now I'm the one that's made you cry. I'm so so sorry Orihime,"
I leaned on her shoulder and cried even harder. We sat there for kami knows how long, somehow I ended up with my head on her lap. I ended the silence by sniffling and said, "At some point you're going to have to deal with me being heart broken you know,"
She chuckled. "I'd rather not,"
"Kaien Shiba told me he wanted to be with me,"
"I knew he'd go after you, that bastard," she said stroking my hair.
"You say that like you know him," I said.
"Well duh, he's Ichigo's cousin."
"Why does it seem like it's common knowledge to everyone except me," I pouted.
"Well you know how Ichigo keeps his family life secret," I nodded and she continued, "well let's just say that he doesn't get along well with Kaien's side of the family. In fact, I think he's the only one that he talks to from that side"
"Why?"
"That's not my story to tell Orihime," she said apologetically.
I nodded. I could respect that I guess.
"Does Rukia know?"
She laughed. "What do you think? She probably knows more about Kaien than she does about Ichigo,"
"How comes you say that?"
"Didn't you know? They were together for like 2 years,"
I swear my eyes could have rolled out the sockets when she said that, "No way!"
"Way way"
"Why did they break up?" I asked trying to sit up, but she pushed me back down and kept stroking my hair.
"Why do you think? Ichigo got to her,"
"While they were together?!"
"Uh-huh. Mid screwing and Kaien walked in on them. Fucked him up for a while really, I think it happened just before Rukia moved to our school. You didn't know him because he was in the other district school, started his own version of womanizing."
"Huh," I found it hard to imagine Kaien as any kind of playboy, he was so...lovely.
"Mhm,"
"So since he's Ichigo's cousin is it from his dad's side?"
"No. His mom's"
Oh.
That made a lot of sense.
The only thing I knew about Ichigo's mom was that she died a long time ago, probably around the time he was 9 or 10. He didn't talk about her at all.
"Did you know her?"
"Yea, she was close friends with my mom."
"What happened-"
"Not my story to tell Hime," she said quickly.
I zipped my lips. Again we kind of lapsed into our comfortable silence. It was strange that after all this time of arguing we were kinda back to our regular way of doing things.
"I really missed this,"
"Me too. You have no idea what it's like listening to Rukia go on and on and on about herself. Even Rangiku gets tired of her and she loves to listen to her gossip."
I giggled, although I kind of felt uneasy. "So are you two.."
"Friends? Well when you get past the holier than thou spoiled and bratty thing she's got going, she's not all that bad," she said lightly.
I snorted.
"I tried to be friends with her, ever since she started high school with us,"
"I know,"
"And all I get are malicious looks and rumors spread about me,"
She winced at that, knowing the part she played but still answered, "I know,"
"Well it's pretty much out in the open that we don't get along now so I guess I won't be pretending anymore thank goodness," I said, poking her face. She glared at me and slapped my hand away.
"Yea, yea enough of that, tell me what happened to you and Ichigo,"
I sighed, suddenly feeling like the weight of the world was on me.
"Didn't Rukia already tell you everything you need to know?" I asked a little bitterly.
She sucked her teeth. "Don't be like that, I'm the petty one here," she said playfully, causing me to roll my eyes.
"She only told me that Ichigo came barging into her room and fucked her lights out,"
I sat up so fast I caught Tatsuki off guard and we banged our foreheads together. "What?!"
"Orihime what the fuck," she moaned grabbing at her forehead.
I blinked away the stars I was seeing and rubbed at the sore spot and trying to ignore the crumbling feeling inside my chest. "Ichigo and Rukia-"
"Fucked? Yep. A lot too apparently. She couldn't walk for a while, it was awkward because she called Rangiku over to "declare victory" as it were and then Rangiku told me..."
I didn't really listen to the rest of what Tatsuki was saying, I was trying too hard not to cry.
He said he wouldn't sleep with other girls while we were doing this. But then again after our fall out as it were, were we even still doing this? He hadn't come by my room at all. The last time I saw him he did a u-turn and went the other way, barely sparing me a glance. To think that barely an hour after being with me he was with Rukia made me feel- for lack of a better word- cheap.
"He walked out on me after demanding I tell him why I asked him to do our lessons," I said softly, wiping the stray tears from my cheeks. "Then I shouted at him saying that it shouldn't even matter to him, we weren't in a relationship,"
"Well damn,"
"Uh-huh."
We sat in silence for a while once more then she said, "let's text Nel to come over with ice-cream. It's been a while since the three of us got together for some deep and serious girl talk,"
I beamed at her. If there was anything better than one best friend it was two. I actually did need Nel's encouragement right now.
It had been about three weeks since he'd stormed out of Orihime's room, a mix of angry, confused and deeply disturbed. In all honesty it was kind of all a blur to him. Right now, he was in the gym by himself doing his bench presses and mulling over everything.
When he sought out Rukia to speak to her about everything that had went down he made the mistake of sleeping with her. He refused to talk to Kaien for obvious reasons, Grimmjow point blank told him that he wasn't about that "pussy girly shit" and he didn't want to talk to anyone else in the group- for one he wasn't as close to them as he was with Rukia and his cousin and second of all he didn't want anymore people to know about what went on between him and Orihime. That was just between the two of them, their business, it wasn't like when he was with other girls and everyone knew, he felt like what he had going with Orihime was almost too precious for the world to know. Thinking on it, it still blew his mind that she would even consider him of all the guys out there to sleep with, he knew he was a rat bastard. He knew she knew he was a rat bastard.
But then she went and blew his mind again, saying she wasn't even looking for a relationship, just someone she could trust to teach her.
She trusted him, and frankly it did things to his insides. It made him want her even more. He didn't want to want her in the first place. His life plan was to make it through life fucking around until he died, not to catch feelings for anyone and he was doing just fine until her. She'd been getting under his skin for years and he'd hid it well, but now that he'd had a taste of her, his mind and body was getting away from him.
Suddenly the weight he was lifting was gone from his hands. He opened his eyes to see his cousin looking down at him with a displeased frown.
"You are a dickhead"
Ichigo glared at him and continued to lift his weights but Kaien slammed them back down on the resting rack.
"You're not going to play around with Orihime."
Ichigo sat up and glared at him. "Who the fuck told you I was playing with Orihime."
"You play with all women Ichigo. I am not going to let you do it to Orihime"
"Well, well, well, looks like you've gone and caught feelings for her huh? And you've met her like what? Two times?"
In the back of his mind he knew he shouldn't be aggravating his cousin like this but whenever the topic at hand was Orihime logic just seemed to elude him.
"Shut the fuck up. It doesn't matter anyways, she doesn't return my feelings,"
Ichigo laughed. "You told her and got rejected?"
"Didn't I just tell you to shut the fuck up? Look, I can't tell you or her what and what not to do but I can't say I like whatever it is that you two have going on,"
"Where the fuck do you get off saying that you don't like me and Hime together? We've been friends since high school," Ichigo said, his ever present frown deepening.
"So you're taking advantage of your friendship with her to get off? That's low even for you Kurosaki, but I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," said Kaien. He stood and straightened his clothes, only to have them rumpled again by Ichigo slamming him into the wall. He didn't see his cousin coming at all. He could feel the anger pouring off him in waves.
"What. The fuck. Did you just say."
Green eyes met brown unflinchingly. Kaien knew his cousin. He knew why he did the things he did. He was far from afraid of Ichigo.
"I'm saying, you're just like Aunt Masaki."
Ichigo's fist hit the wall, mere centimeters from Kaien's face.
"Don't you fucking say her name around me,"
"Why not? You keep saying you're not like her yet still you use people and discard them whenever you get tired of them, just like she has with you and your father. I'm not going to let you do that to Orihime."
Ichigo couldn't believe his cousin, one of his closest friends, who knew his dark past would dare to dig it up and throw it right in his face like dirt.
"How dare you."
"Well if I didn't say it who would? Definitely not Rukia, she's too busy chasing after your dick or trying to sabotage Orihime to tell you that you're turning into what you fear. That you're already what you fear. Tatsuki won't do it either, she's determined to keep you away from Orihime because she knows what you're like"
"Kaien. Shut up."
The fist he had slammed into the wall throbbed painfully and he withdrew it and let go of his cousin to examine it. He winced at the sight.
"You're bleeding. Might wanna go see your nurse or something. I'm leaving."
He left Ichigo standing there alone, staring at his hand for a long while until he swore under his breath, grabbed his bag and strode out of the gym.
After spending most of my afternoon with Tatsuki and Nel I was back in my room stacking my books in order in preparation for tomorrow's rigorous day of studying. After faffing around lately, I was kind of behind and promised myself that I would work to catch up as of tomorrow, and not a minute sooner.
A knock on my door had me freezing. I looked at the clock. It was well past 9pm. Who on earth...?
"Orihime it's me,"
It was Ichigo. A part of me almost wanted to pretend I wasn't there but I knew he knew I was in here, my room lights were on and music was playing. There was definitely no way out of this.
I bit my lip and counted to three before opening the door and there he stood. He was in gym wear and had a bag that was-
"Is that blood? Kurosaki-kun are you okay?!" I hauled him into the room and closed the door quickly.
"I uh, had an accident in the gym," he said somewhat sheepishly, holding up an awfully bruised and bleeding hand for me to see.
"How in the world did that happen?" I asked, quickly crouching to get my first aid kit from under my bed.
"I...I was aiming for the punching bag and punched the wall instead."
"Aren't the punching bags usually in the center of the room so that there's lots of space?" I asked, biting my lip and trying to remember how the gym was set up. I went once with Tatsuki when we promised that we were going to get our summer bodies ready. That was some time last year though and after that one time I got into a monogamous relationship with pizza.
"You'd think that wouldn't you?" He said lightly, dropping the bag to the ground.
I went into the bathroom to get a damp towel then went back to him and knelt infront of him.
"Let me see," I said softly. I wiped away at the blood as best as I could, wincing at every hiss of pain he made.
"You have to be more careful Kurosaki-kun," I said. "Flex and move your fingers around for me,"
"But it hurts like a bitch,"
"I need to see if it's broken, otherwise we're going to have to take you to the ER."
"I don't wanna go, my old man will have my head," he grumbled, begrudgingly flexing his fingers.
"I'm going to touch them now okay? To see if there's any breaks,"
He nodded and I gently took hold of his hand. It was swollen, it would get even more swollen I bet, but thankfully there were no breaks. I smiled at him and he smiled back, though it was just a small one.
"I'll just rub some neosporen on this and wrap it, you're going to have to be really careful or it will be swollen for a really long time okay?"
"Yea, I get you,"
I finished my work in silence and when his hand was properly bandaged I leaned back on my legs and looked at my handiwork. "There you go!"
He smiled, a genuine one this time, "thanks Orihime."
"No worries Kurosaki-kun,"
"I thought we were on a first name basis now,"
I bit my lip. This was going into territory that I was not ready to deal with yet.
"Ano..."
"Look, about the last time, I said some stuff and it got way out of control,"
"Ku-Ichigo, you really don't have to-"
"But I do. I'm sorry Orihime, and I hope you can forgive me."
I nodded. "It's okay Ichigo, really"
He nodded and picked up his gym bag with his good hand. "I'll see you at lunch on Monday okay?"
I nodded enthusiastically and smiled at him. "Hai! Oyasumi Ichigo,"
"Oyasumi Orihime," he said, then pulled me into a one armed hug and like some stalker I took a deep breath of his scent. He really did give the best hugs. All of a sudden it didn't matter that he'd slept with Rukia again. It didn't matter all the things he'd said to me. It didn't matter that he'd probably never ever be in a relationship with me. I just missed him so much that being like this with him was more than enough. He pulled back all too soon and brushed my hair from my face and then he left.
And there I go again like an idiot.
There was no way that I could ever get Ichigo Kurosaki out of my head.