Despite being overly exhausted, Kurapika surprised himself by waking up early. He used to be the one that would always sleep in, but ever since his life had been flipped upside down, he supposed he didn't have much of a chance - or choice - to sleep in all that much.
Especially now, with Leorio injured, he hadn't really been able to sleep. He'd been so consumed with the gentle rise and fall of Leorio's chest and the even breaths that fell from his slightly parted lips. It was his only comfort throughout the night, and it was crazy to really consider the previous day's events.
He had most of the night to sort it out in his head anyway.
Like, for example, why Leorio had gotten shot. Or when, to be more exact. Had he gotten shot first? Was it when they were still in the booth or was it when they tried to make a break for the exit? Was he trying to grin and bear it for his sake and to protect him or was he fine until they got to the door? And what about the gentle way he'd been treating him? Was that his way of being sorry for all of this mess or was that an act? He really didn't know...
Whatever it was, it had Leorio in the hospital, and Kurapika in the waiting room... instead of the opposite. He had to wonder what exactly his motivation was for keeping him alive. Surely it wasn't just because he wanted to- no one took a bullet for someone 'just because'. The world wasn't that kind.
Kurapika lifted his head from Leorio's chest and sat up a little. He couldn't help watching the man's sleeping face, how relaxed yet oddly still in pain he was. He didn't look like he was in nearly as much pain as he was yesterday, but it was still obvious that it bothered his comfort. Kurapika disliked seeing him that way, his eyebrows knitted and his eyes screwed tightly shut. His mouth was set in a thin line, bordering a frown, almost. It was weird, he admitted, seeing Leorio like this. He hadn't seen him as anything other than kind and happy.
And maybe it was because he disliked his expression so much that prompted his next action.
"Leorio," He called softly.
He wanted to let the man rest and heal, but he also wanted to make Leorio feel better. He had no idea how to fucking do that- but he wanted to at least distract him. Somehow.
He pushed himself up and rotated on the bed. He remembered what Mito said about being careful- he couldn't exactly tell which hip and which shoulder... but he would try to be careful of both.
Knees pointed towards the doctor-turned-patient, Kurapika leaned over, palm near the pillow and propping his upper body weight as his other hand came to cup Leorio's cheek.
Instantly, his cheeks dusted pink. He didn't really know why he was doing it, but he did want to try to wake him up. Gently. Perhaps if he touched him familiarly, he might wake up.
"Leorio," He repeated softly, thumb brushing against his skin.
Leorio's cheek was soft and warm under his fingers, but he didn't know at this point if it would be his voice that woke him up or the loud beating of his heart as he held his position over the man.
His lips parted, his breath sharp as those brown orbs fluttered, trying to regain consciousness in the early hours of the morning. His heart practically thundered in his chest as he realized that they were the only ones in the room- and there weren't hardly any noises outside of it. In other words, no one was monitoring them. So, he supposed, being bent over him like this... would make him seem a little strange if anyone chanced a glance.
In a way, it was strange that he was trusted with Leorio so much- or maybe they just didn't care...
Maybe it was because Leorio had voluntarily put himself 'at risk' to protect him?
He swallowed hard, but was brought back to attention when Leorio started to stir uncomfortably and murmur something incoherent. All the blond could really manage to do at this point was blush up to his ears and continue stroking the man's cheek until he woke up fully.
And a very small part of him regretted it when he did, finally, wake him. As an afterthought, of course, to the conclusion of this day that had only just begun.
A jolt in the man's large frame had him scrambling away from Leorio; his body, once small from his time in the hospital, was now towering and tall just like it used to be as he sat up almost mechanically and abruptly.
Intimidating- Leorio was intimidating.
He looked angry and concerned, worried and wild.
Kurapika had fallen over Leorio's legs completely on accident, and he found himself hanging on tightly to them as he gasped in shock. He wondered next if he was going to get kneed in the face for it all, having not expected this violent reaction, but when he murmured Leorio's name- quite on instinct- the other's eyes met his.
For a second, they were both still, both tense, but after a few moments it seemed to sink in. Those wild brown eyes, fiery and startled, seemed to soften and calm the longer they studied the blonde.
"Kurapika..."
His voice cracked. Cracking, like he hadn't spoken in months- but something about the way he was saying his name was incredibly endearing to him. It was soft and gentle, just like he remembered it to be when their positions had been switched. He spoke with care, like he was trying not to scare him... this was the Leorio he recognized.
He pushed himself off the elder's legs and crawled back up and over to the doctor. Leorio was sitting up, and if his instincts were right, he really shouldn't be. So he lightly pressed his palm against his broad chest, and was easily able to push him backward against the hospital bed.
"I'm sorry for scaring you," Kurapika whispered softly, unable to take his palm away from his chest- or surprisingly look away from it either. Maybe the idea of looking into Leorio's eyes felt a little too... intimate. Maybe it was just uncomfortable because, now that he had finally admitted to himself that he was in love with the man (for absolutely no reason that he could come up with other than 'just because he was'), the idea of Leorio even recognizing it was scary. He would probably turn him down immediately, or get sick at he idea of them.
He chewed his bottom lip nervously, waiting for Leorio to say something, anything.
"It's still early, I also didn't really mean... to wake you up. I just- you looked like you were in so much pain and I didn't want-"
"You're worried about me?" Leorio interrupted, surprising Kurapika.
His eyes fluttered up briefly, catching the surprised look on the man's face before looking back down. His palm slid down and away from the man's chest, but as soon as he did, he immediately wished he hadn't removed it at all. He didn't quite know what to do with himself. Instead, he twisted his hands nervously, sitting on his knees while nodding anxiously.
And he thought that maybe Leorio would drop it - because he didn't see why it was that big of a deal, but clearly, he was wrong. Then again, he should have realized sooner that the fact that Leorio had asked that at all wasn't normal.
Leorio reached out and grabbed his wrist, prompting him to look up. He was startled, but... when he saw Leorio's face, he let him do what he wanted. His face was soft, a small smile finding it's way onto his face. He'd never seen him smile like that before, but he was glad that he did... Anything at this point was better than seeing him in pain. But he looked so calm... so collected and carefree. Was this natural?
"I'm sorry, too... for scaring you." He added, bringing Kurapika's hand back to his chest (convenient, wasn't it, that he really wanted to touch him there again), and practically wrapped his arm around it so he couldn't move it. It seemed like an assuring gesture, but having the man he had known previously to be so tight-lipped and serious expressing such a thing was... well, odd.
"I thought I was somewhere else-"
A small giggle rose in the back of his throat without his permission, and it prompted a rather concerned look from Leorio. He usually had a good reign on his emotions, but this was... hysterical. This serious man nearly made out of stone was showing more emotion than he had before. It was usually etched into action and reasoning- he'd gathered that from what little time he'd spent with him... but this was almost weird. Funny weird. Getting touchy and stuttering out reasons- this seemed a much tamer Leorio than what he was used to, and for that, Kurapika couldn't contain himself. He started laughing- and he honestly didn't know why he found it so funny. With Leorio being shot, with him being in so much pain, it seemed out of place for him to start laughing, but he couldn't help it. The way he was wrapping his good arm around his hand like he didn't want it to be moved, and then to have him look away like he was, bottom lip protruded like he was upset and pouting...
"What?" Leorio asked, "Is there something on my face?"
He felt bad, but... it also felt good. To laugh like this.
"Oh- no," Kurapika answered honestly, smiling like an idiot and trying to calm himself by stifling the soft bouts of laughter. "Just- the way you're holding my hand and pouting-"
"Im not pouting, what gave you that idea?" Leorio immediately interjected, cutting him off and letting go of his hand as if it were made of fire. "And I'm not holding your hand- I was trying to comfort you."
Kurapika rolled his eyes and scooted up closer to the other. "Sure you were." He snorted, "Must you lie about these things to me while you're in a hospital bed? You realize I could torture the truth out of you right?"
Leorio's eyes widened, and for a moment, Kurapika wanted to ask if he was okay. He looked surprised- well, offended? Was he offended? He wanted to ask if he was feeling alright or what he was confused about- but then, he realized why.
Leorio hadn't seen him this way before. He hadn't laughed before- and to be honest, he hadn't laughed really at all growing up either. But what was more than that, he realized his words and how they might have sounded. Being in the presence of Killua for more than twenty-four hours... was probably not a good idea. Mainly, he realized that Leorio hadnt witnessed his slight development in his attitude because of Killua.
"Sorry," Kurapika said abruptly, immediately blushing, hopping right in to an explanation. "Killua was just- he's an ass... He wouldn't shut the fuck up the whole way here-"
He was babbling, but it was all true. He didn't want to offend Leorio at all- that was the last thing that he wanted, and if he could race to say 'it was Killua's fault' without directly saying it, then-
"-Come here."
"What?"
Leorio pulled on his arm and he winced as he crashed into his side. To think, if Leorio was this strong after surgery, he wondered how strong he was when he was in perfect health. He prayed, even so, that he didn't hurt him when he'd crashed into him, and found his shoulders sagging in relief when no sound of discomfort fell from the man. Maybe it was his other side that was hurt? He still wanted to be careful, regardless. He made a mental note to chastise the man about being careful of his wounds.
When he looked up,though, he found that Leorio was smiling down at him.
He didn't know why. Not at all. Such an unnatural phenomena- especially when his eyes met his.
He blushed right up when Leorio wrapped his arm around him and pulled him to his side- ironically, just as he did the previous night. He had to admit, it felt a lot more awkward now that Leorio was fully conscious rather than blurry-eyed and exhausted and, for all intents and purposes, unconscious. However, Leorio went on as if it were no big deal at all, like it was something they did all the time.
"Seems like you made another friend." Leorio commented, amusement dancing in his eyes. Yet another rare gem of a sight he'd never beheld. It would be something he'd cherish. If Leorio was opening up to him...
But then again, what was that comment? About Killua?
Kurapika looked up, eyes narrowed, dangerously so. "The fuck Killua is my friend." He growled softly, "I genuinely hate him - he's mean and arrogant and a jerk. I don't know why you'd even suggest such an idiotic thing. You're better than that."
"I'm better than that?" Leorio mocked.
"Better than to suggest that- and you're way better than he is."
Leorio hummed, and he almost wondered if that was his way of laughing at him- because he didn't seem like he could laugh if he wanted to. Either his side must hurt too much, or the man was just too serious to even develop a laugh.
"That has a nice ring to it. Better than Killua- especially if that's your opinion." He grinned.
He could see the amusement in his eyes as he crossed his arms and looked up at the man.
Another hum escaped Leorio and his head fell back into the pillow for a moment before looking down at him. He had this huge dumb grin on his face.
"Who's the pouty one now?"
Kurapika's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "You didn't-"
A gleam of triumph met Leorio's gaze and Kurapika spun around and out of the man's hold. "You're awful!" He cried.
Leorio shrugged one shoulder. "Awful is a step up from idiotic."
This time, it was Kurapika's turn to laugh again, and his palm met his chest again without even thinking. "Is it? You've taken this too far, Leorio!" Kurapika laughed, "Surely my opinion of you doesn't matter that much." He playfully swatted Leorio on the shoulder, but something about the way Leorio's face faltered for a moment made him pause. What was this sudden change of expression? He was only partially joking- he knew that it had to somewhat matter... but he didn't think his opinion really counted for much else other than a majority vote... or something.
"Wait... is it?" He piped up, his eyebrow slanted in confusion
"What?"
"My opinion of you- is it that important to you?" He clarified.
Leorio didn't answer that, but he wanted to know. Immediately. "Leorio- surely it doesn't. Even though I know I'd never do anything to hurt any of you, no one trusts me or even likes me. I'm only going to be around for... a month? A little longer?"
Clearly, his assurance wasn't helping. Leorio's smile completely fell this time, and he felt a little bad. Leorio was finally smiling instead of grimacing in pain.
"Don't say that, please," Leorio spoke softly, reaching out to him.
It surprised him a little, when Leorio took his hand this time; he knew it was on purpose.
"Why? Don't say what?"
"That you'll only be around for a while... you speak as if you're waiting for death."
Kurapika pulled back, but couldn't quite wiggle out of the grasp the elder had on his hand. So he remained at a distance instead, and slowly shrugged his shoulders. "I mean... what am I waiting for, then?" He asked quietly. "I haven't thought much about it, but what exactly will I do once the month is up? Run? Run where? Run why? Nothing is waiting for me, and I was only given my most basic of needs growing up. It's not like I know how to do much..."
"You could build a life. Or you could stay and I'd talk to Killua and Gon about you. If I can-"
"You don't have to try to make me feel better about that; I may not like the situation, but it isn't like it matters... I've already accepted my time, and because I only have a while longer, I've decided to enjoy what I can and not let anything get to me. It's really alright, Leorio. I'm fine- there isn't really a point in trying to save me. I'm not worth it, after all. What good would I be? I'd probably wander around until I died anyway."
Leorio was silent for too long.
"I'll be fine. You'll be fine. I... I don't want to die, but I don't have a choice. You put off the inevitable- and I am grateful for that... because I get to spend this time making a friend. I mean, if you want to be... friends. I've never had a friend before."
But it wasn't fine. Leorio looked... frustrated? Irritated? Were those even the right words? Despite the assurances and extra incentives to get in a better mood, it seemed to sour all the more.
"Your opinion of me- and of everything else does matter to me. I'm not trying to make you feel better, I'm trying to be honest with you. I don't think I've ever lied to you about anything like this." Leorio finally said.
So... he chose that to comment on...
Kurapika swallowed thickly and pulled back a little- but Leorio's grip was still firm on his wrist, preventing him from going anywhere. And he was less inclined to try to do anything about it since Leorio was in this condition.
Regardless, Leorio wasn't letting go.
"L-Leorio..." He started, but it was pointless to even try talking. The second their eyes met, it was as if Kurapika was given every answer he ever needed about why Leorio felt that way.
And it made sense.
Leorio lived alone, submersed in his books and his writing, in his temporary gig he had going with whatever work he had picked up online. He was removed from this family because his own opinion had been thrown aside. Because he wanted to protect people, and Gon, the leader, hadn't cared enough. Or maybe he did- but the leader's opinion didn't carry the weight of the entire family necessarily. Maybe he just... needed someone to talk to? It seemed odd that that would be the reason, especially if he risked his life over it... but it made a little sense.
Kurapika found himself reaching for the man, palms lightly brushing either side of his face, cupping it gently. He didn't want to hurt him, and he wanted to break whatever awkward tension he'd created. If he could just look into his eyes- emphasize his point about wanting to be his friend and be there for him...
However, maybe he didn't entirely think this through. Maybe what he was thinking about why his opinion was important was true- but maybe he didn't dive deep enough. Perhaps being friends wasn't exactly...
...what was on Leorio's mind.
Because in the next second, Leorio's palm pressed against his lower back, and he was encouraged forward- right onto his lips.
He was frozen, and when he felt those lips moving and the gentle nudge of a warm tongue, he began to shake and give in. What he'd only dreamt of... it had been a silly thought he'd entertained, and he had long ago acknowledged that nothing like this could ever happen between them... but this was more than he could have ever hoped for. This was more than he'd ever dreamed. This sensation, the way he was urging him towards him, his mouth on his, it made him nearly tremble.
Honestly, if this had happened yesterday, he probably would be in a puddle of tears.
Instead, his body was making all the decisions instead of his head, and his leg found its way over Leorio to straddle him. Though he had it in his mind to be careful of his wounds, he'd inadvertently opened his mouth to the other- which Leorio wasted no time in taking advantage of. His legs were getting weak; they were shaking so bad, and he might have disconnected from Leorio that way if that palm hadn't been holding him upright.
Leorio's palm was warm on his back, making his skin tingle despite the presence of clothing. And his hands began to tingle, too. He knew it was from the contact, but a knot grew in his stomach when he felt the way Leorio's jaw was dropping, and the way his mouth was so eagerly latched onto his. A sound fled his lips- a pant? A moan? What was this and what was happening?
And why was he letting it continue? Did he want this to continue?
Here he was, spending nearly every moment with Leorio dreaming of what it would feel like to have his arms wrapped around him or his lips against his throat... but now, since it had become a reality, he couldn't think properly one way or the other.
He felt his breath escape him as Leorio seemed to practically swallow the flow of noises that escaped him. The knot in his stomach only seemed to grow even bigger, and one of his hands found itself fisted into untamed black locks.
And he swore this was going to last forever- it felt like it was, and when he connected the dots and realized that he wanted this to last, Leorio pulled away and left him breathless.
But he didn't just pull away either.
While Kurapika caught his breath, Leorio's palm was crushing him down to his chest, and he figured out why when Leorio's lips met his throat.
Had he been in front of a mirror, he would have been absolutely horrified at his appearance. His face was red from embarrassment, and his hair, disheveled from sleep, looked like he was in a euphoric state, being undone by the likes of a wounded man, a doctor 'in practice', and a former gang member. Former? Maybe not former... estranged would be more accurate.
That warm tongue lapped down his throat, heavy pants leaving the doctor's mouth as he sampled the divine flesh. The untouched flesh. It was soft and supple, and each drag of his tongue and nip of teeth had Kurapika squeaking out noises so unbecoming of him that he grew too embarrassed for the man to continue.
Despite how good it might have felt.
"L-Leorio..." Kurapika whispered, still breathless despite his time to recuperate. Though, he really wished he hadn't called out to the other. He bit his lip as the older sucked on his collar bone. He gasped out at the sensation, feeling a pleasant rush. It was a spot he hadn't realized was making him shake like a leaf.
And, much to his disappointment, Leorio withdrew and shifted back upward at the call of his name.
"Sorry," He said softly, sounding a lot more winded than Kurapika was. He felt a little bad- but then again, it wasn't Kurapika that had started this. Leorio had been the one to kiss him, to steal his breath and to wander much farther than he ever thought he would. It was surprising, but he almost wished it had continued. It felt... really good, actually.
"I didn't mean to-" Leorio murmured softly. "I- you said my name and I just... lost control."
Kurapika's brows cinched and he aligned their faces; apparently, the act alone was enough to make Leorio trail off and stare at him. Kurapika had only wanted to adjust back upward so that he could see him, but looking into his eyes like this... after that...
He swallowed thickly, surprised beyond belief, confused, and... exhilarated. All of this was making him feel jittery and good. Never in his lifetime had he ever experienced anything close to this.
"I shouldn't have - I'm terribly sorry I did that to you." Leorio went on after a moment.
He looked... His eyes looked... guilty. Guilty, like he'd done something wrong. But... he didn't? Did he? Did he feel like he did? He liked Leorio a lot- would even go so far as to say that he even more than liked him... but he hadn't known about Leorio. If he'd felt the same or if he was with someone. He'd held onto this for a while- maybe not as long as he should have, and maybe he should have had a conversation with himself about this problem he had... but it didn't feel necessary.
Because he liked him. A lot. And he thought that it would stay like that; just Kurapika, looking on and admiring a man... he never expected his feelings to be reciprocated in any sort of fashion... yet they had.
And maybe he was afraid to speak up about it. Leorio was, technically, his first real friend. No one else had been allowed to come over in his childhood.
But...
Kurapika's hand was still tangled in those dark roots, but they slipped out just enough for his finger to smooth over Leorio's knitted brow.
But, the funny thing was...
Leorio didn't feel like a friend at all. At first, maybe he'd been confused about it all in the beginning- dubbing him a 'friend' until he could figure out what he really was to him. From the second he'd laid eyes on him though, there was something smothered, pushed down and out of the way. Something in the pit of his stomach that was fighting to get out- and had been locked up even tighter because of this fear. This fear that he'd be rejected like his family had rejected him. This fear of being dis-valued and dehumanized outside of his family. Because he still held on to the hope that the world wasn't as bad as his parents made it out to be, and that not everyone was cruel and insensitive as they were. Maybe he was just afraid of Leorio proving them right.
He licked his lips, and his feather grey eyes lowered to meet those warm brown ones.
Leorio looked so confused...
"Why are you sorry?" Kurapika asked; the hoarseness of his voice surprised him. How hard was it to get out just that? "I've wanted you to..."
To? To do that? To be this way? To let me be on top of you and have you be the one to kiss me like you can't help it? To prove how important I am?
He saw those brown eyes widen only a little bit, and he thought maybe he had said something wrong, but it was quite the opposite.
"Kiss me?" Leorio whispered softly, contradicting his thoughts.
"Y-you want... me to...to...-" He stuttered out, shocked that the man would suggest something like that out loud- or say it so plainly. Did his words really... change his mind?
"Please,"
Something about the way Leorio was begging him, the way his eyebrows slanted towards his eyes like it was painful to wait any longer made his heart flutter. It was weird. This was very weird.
He wanted this- had dreamed of it, but it didn't feel like he deserved this. It was all so sudden, and he honestly had no idea Leorio could ever... want this.
"Why me?" Kurapika whispered back, choosing to delay it for just a moment longer. He needed to know why- it couldn't be because Leorio liked him. It wasn't possible... was it?
"I can't explain why- I just... every time I'm around you I feel light headed and I keep staring at you and all I can think about is wanting to keep you close to me or wanting to protect you. It's completely... irrational. I shouldn't, but I can't stop myself. I'm usually never effected like this- there are plenty of people I've met, I've had people proposition me and I've saved other people, too- but with you, I can't... can't explain it..."
Kurapika licked his lips, tempted to fulfill Leorio's wish, but also wanting to understand.
Maybe... maybe he could kiss him after? Maybe he shouldn't... Maybe... he wanted to. He didn't know how or what to do or where to aim. He had no clue- but Leorio did. And if he wanted it so badly, he should just kiss him again.
But something within him was dying to hear something, too. He didn't know what it was that he wanted to hear, only that he knew he wanted to hear it.
"Why?" He prompted a second time, not only hoping to prompt action from Leorio, but to see if the words he needed to hear were words Leorio could speak.
A small whine left Leorio's throat, and it surprised him. Why would he make that kind of sound? Was he getting frustrated? This... was unlike him.
All of it was unlike him.
But he just didn't have it within himself to really care.
"I just... I want to know if you feel the same, please? It's stupid to ask this of you, but I want to know. I like seeing you smile and laugh- you did once for me. When I was in my study. You did a couple of times before that when you were on the anesthetic. You were hurt, and I was taking care of you, but even while you were under, I couldn't stop thinking about holding your hand or sleeping next to you. Stupid stuff. I've been with only one person before, and it took me months just to warm up to kissing her- but with you, all I can think about is doing those stupid things."
He was starting to get frustrated. He let Kurapika know it, too, with his next words.
"And they are stupid things, don't get me wrong. I don't know if you've been with anyone before or if you've ever loved anyone, even. I don't know what your life is like, and you don't know mine. We've only known each other for a few weeks... but do you ever get this... frustrated? It's only been a short while, but I just..."
Kurapika had heard enough. It wasn't what he'd been waiting to hear- maybe that was meant for another time? He was still unsure about that... but Leorio was right. He could relate to everything he'd just said. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss him or do those things. But... doing those things meant something, right? The thought of Leorio holding a girl's hand, or even smiling at them- it just... he didn't want him to touch anyone else, and he knew that was wrong and that was the definition of trapping someone... but was it selfish? To want one person to do those things with, strictly and only with him? Was that so bad?
He wet his lips again, and when he opened his mouth to talk, Leorio interrupted him.
"And that. You need to stop that, too." Leorio whined. "I can understand if you don't want to kiss me and if you think all of it is stupid, especially since, I don't know, you're the 'enemy'... or whatever... but doing THAT is tempting, and I don't want-"
"Stop doing what?" Kurapika blurted out.
"Licking your lips like that- it's distracting."
Kurapika covered his mouth as his cheeks flamed up.
This... this was an entirely different Leorio. The Leorio he knew would never make a comment like that... was it upsetting? Unless it was upsetting, he didn't really know...
The Leorio he knew was silent and strong and confident. Now, he couldn't even look at him and his cheeks were all red. Though... it was kind of cute...
He found himself trying to stifle his laughter, and when Leorio asked what was so funny- he did it. He found his courage.
He removed his hand from his own face and leaned in. He merely pecked his lips; he was too shy to do much more than that, but he wished he'd gone further. He wished he'd had the guts to kiss him like Leorio had. His lips were warm and soft, and he'd caught the elder while he was trying to talk.
But, apparently, whatever he'd been about to say had disappeared from his mind- because now he was looking at him.
Really looking at him.
He swallowed hard and kept up their gaze. Though, what he lacked in courage to do, he compensated with his words.
"I... I've never been with anyone. I don't know anything about it or what to do or how to explain anything. My parents... they didn't even like me either- they were too focused on my sisters to really care about me... or explain anything about... this to me..." He murmured.
The information seemed to help, but Kurapika saw that that gleam hadn't left his eyes. Was he excited or was he happy? Was admitting this the wrong idea? The one thing his father did teach him was about vulnerability. It had only been for business reasons so that the company wouldn't go down after he left... but maybe it applied in the real world. Was letting his 'enemy' know his vulnerability opening doors to manipulation?
He didn't know. What he did know, was that this was Leorio he was talking about. Leorio, a doctor, a man too kind and too good to even be considered an enemy in the first place. Surely... Surely he'd continue to take care of him? Even if... Even if things didn't work out?
...
Wait. Work out? What was going to work out?
"Kurapika..."
He glanced up, broken from his thoughts, only to be enveloped once more.
Leorio had pulled him against him once more, but it was easier this time, since he was already still straddling him. Their lips met, and this time, Kurapika didn't freeze up. He didn't hesitate. He was proud of himself for it, but he was swamped with other thoughts instead.
Of Leorio.
Leorio, whose fingers were digging into the small of his back, slipping up only a little because the fabric of his shirt wasn't very good at staying in place. He felt the heat and the softness of Leorio's lips, but what was more, was his tongue. The way he so elegantly swept into his mouth the way he did, the scorching heat that wrapped around his own tongue, that explored and seemingly marked unexplored territory.
Kurapika didn't know what to do with himself.
Well, he really didn't, but his body was moving before he could really give it a command.
He straightened his body up, both of his hands raked through dark locks, and settled on either side of the man's jaw. It seemed to be the right thing to do because a soft noise escaped Leorio's mouth. It sounded contented, like it was a wanted action.
He felt his breath, like they were taking turns breathing the same air, but this time, he broke the kiss. His breath, stolen from him, made him almost dizzy. And Leorio, who seemed to be in much of the same state, leaned his head back against the pillow.
"God... If I wasn't in this hospital bed..." Leorio groaned.
Kurapika looked down at him quizzically, but Leorio dismissed it with a wave of his hand and a small smile.
He was going to pull away- maybe lay back down beside him, but Leorio caught him before he had the chance. His arm lifted, his palm caressed the side of his face, and immediately Kurapika was looking away.
"No- wait, please. Please look at me."
What?
Kurapika's blushing face turned once more, and he saw the man's smile widen even more.
It... it made his stomach stir with something. Something he liked. Something that made him feel... Good.
"You're beautiful, Kurapika."
Leorio had fallen asleep after that. He'd smiled, spoken those words, and slipped into sleep immediately after. Kurapika had blushed at the statement, and had scrambled off, but Leorio was already fast asleep by then.
Not that he minded. With Leorio asleep, he could sort some stuff out in his head.
Saying those things to him... did he mean it? Was he... did Leorio... like the way he looked? Did he kiss him because he genuinely wanted to?
He took a seat in the chair beside the big hospital bed, practically oozing with a happiness he'd never felt.
And he'd wished he'd been able to savor the moment, too. It would have made for an easier evening than what was currently heading for the poor blonde.
Unfortunately, for Kurapika, he'd heard a loud creak, and a loud click- signaling the opening and closing of the hospital room door. When Kurapika looked up, a frown immediately replaced his smile, and he stood without thinking.
"What a pleasant surprise," Killua remarked dryly, "The dog stayed with it's owner."
"What do you want, Killua?" Kurapika grumbled, crossing his arms. "Why am I a dog? Can't I just be a concerned friend?" he countered.
Killua snorted. "You're not a friend anything. You're just a stray dog Leorio saved for no other reason than just because he could. You realize that, right? He probably just wants to tear you apart."
The white-haired devil of a man approached the doctor's bedside, and leaned in. A small whistle escaped his lips. "Man, wonder what he's dreaming about. He looks like he just got laid or something."
Kurapika choked and blushed in embarrassment. That wasn't at all what he- he couldn't be dreaming that! They'd only kissed, that had to be why... right?
"Um... am I missing something?" Killua asked, head snapping up. "You guys didn't have sex while I was away did you?"
"N-no!" Kurapika exclaimed, almost horrified at the suggestion. They'd only kissed!
"No that's not it at all! He just- we just- he started talking all weird and then he kissed me and then he asked me if I could kiss him and when I did he kissed me again and then fell asleep I swear that was all that-!"
"Jesus, shut the fuck up. You're shrieking is giving me a headache; it'll probably wake Leorio up, Jesus." Killua covered his ears for dramatic effect, and Kurapika, left a blushing mess, sunk back down into his seat and covered his blushing face with his hands.
"So, you kissed then. Great. Cool. Not like you'll have to worry about it when the drugs wear off." Killua shrugged. "At least you got some."
Kurapika's head snapped up. "Drugs?"
"What, you thought he was sitting in here all by his lonesome without any morphine? He literally just got out of surgery."
Morphine...
Morphine...
Kurapika lowered his head, feeling a little guilty. So... that was why he didn't react when he was pulled into his side. Both his arms freely moved as if he was completely fine. He knew he was shot and in pain, but he didn't think that it was to the extent that morphine was... completely necessary. Well- but surgery... to numb the pain of it...
"You seriously thought he was completely fine?" Killua nearly hissed. "Wow, fucking stupid. Useless. Hope you didn't climb all over him like a rabid animal. I'm just glad he won't remember any of that shit when he comes to- fucking blabber mouth liar this one. If he said anything stupid to you just ignore it. Nobody really hangs around him if he's doped up. Spits lies left and right, confuses the shit out of you because he makes you question what you already know. That's why half the fucking town never kidnaps him, because he's way too fucking much to handle."
Kurapika didn't look up at that, not wanting Killua to make any more assumptions- but hearing that he lied a lot... well, now, this was Killua speaking... but it wasn't as if Killua actually lied to him, either- he was just plain rude... and blunt... so... who was right, then?
"Good thing he wont remember when he wakes up though," Killua seemed to have to repeat. Almost like he was hammering in the fact that Kurapika was such an insignificant speck in Leorio's vast and action-filled life that he wasn't good enough to remember. Maybe he just liked the fact that he was rubbing it in... "he'll probably ask why he's all sore and shit. I fucking hate explaining things so you'll have to do it." Killua finished, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Do me a favor and don't try to do anything weird because of what you two just did. When the morphine wears off he'll be sore as shit and complaining and I don't need him talking my ear off about any bullshit concerning you." Killua grimaced. "I'm a little surprised that he kissed you, though. That's just... weird. He usually only kisses girls."
stop.
Stop.
"God, you two actually kissed? I wonder how desperate he was. I didn't think he actually liked you- that's so weird."
"Killua." Kurapika spoke, soft, unsure at first, what to do or why he was getting so... riled up.
"I mean, not that he hasn't kissed patients before- he's weird like that. He has some sick fetish, I swear to god. Females are one thing- but you?"
"KILLUA."
He didn't want to hear any of this. Leorio couldn't have just done that to mess with him. He didn't do that to all his patients- that would be weird! If he'd truly saved nearly everyone in this stupid group of gang members then what Killua was insinuating was that he'd kissed nearly everyone in the gang.
Wait, was he getting worked up over a kiss?
"WHAT. MY FUCKING EARS, YOU BRAT." Killua snapped back. "JUST BECAUSE I DON'T ANSWER THE FIRST TIME DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T FUCKING HEAR YOU."
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT." Kurapika responded, voice just as high pitched as Killua had taken it to. "YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO RUIN THIS FOR ME."
"Oh, what? Don't want to hear that Leorio was spewing bullshit because he was on morphine? You remember what that's like, don't you? He gave you a lot of it, too, didn't he? I bet he did that so you wouldn't feel his dick inside you."
...
...
what?
"What?"
Kurapika stood immediately, abruptly, fists clenched at his sides. "Liar. You're a fucking dirty rotten liar. Leorio isn't that kind of person! He'd never ever take advantage of me! He's kind- he's reasonable and RATIONAL-unlike you!"
He wasn't that kind of person.
He isn't the kind of person that would do that to him.
So...
why was he crying?
"Leorio is kind! He's nice and he cares about the well-being of others!" Kurapika continued, voice only slightly lowered because he knew that chosen words were vastly more effective than volume. "You're the complete opposite- you couldn't care less about anyone! I bet you don't even care about anyone else!"
He was screaming? Why was he screaming? He had no control over what was being said, and it was scaring him. To this degree, he never thought he'd ever get this worked up. He never thought he'd get so worked up, so lost, that he would finally lose himself.
"You probably don't even really know Leorio, do you!" Kurapika cried out, nearly sobbing for absolutely no fucking... reason...
"You know what- I BET HE HAD TO FORCE HIMSELF TO DEAL WITH YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE FUCKING HATES YOU!"
Sobbing. He'd moved between upset, to mad, to crying, to outright sobbing. What kind of...
"And I bet you're lying about this, too! He's only asleep!"
Killua, who hadn't moved a single muscle or twitched his lips in a smirk, had finally looked away from him. But he barely realized it- barely registered that Killua looked... defeated.
Kurapika was upset, fists at his side, leaning in with tears streaming down his face. He wouldn't let Killua take this moment from him. It had been happy, light, and Leorio had been gentle. He'd been loopy, sure... more expressive than usual... but maybe he was just happy to see him? Happy to be alive and safe? Killua didn't think before he said things, and he purposefully said a lot of shit to get him wound up. Him, and he bet every person he'd ever interacted with, too.
So if he knew it was false, why was he getting so worked up about it? Why was he letting Killua get his way with riling him up?
"Then, when he wakes up again, why don't you ask him." Killua turned slowly, darkly, and it kind of felt like he was trying to scare him. Maybe he was... maybe he was just mad that Leorio had bargained to extend his life. Surely it wasn't... so bad...? To live a little longer?
"Ask him what?" Kurapika said, furiously wiping at his eyes. "I don't have to justify my actions to you- and neither does Leorio."
Killua crossed his arms and growled out a breath. "He won't remember what happened after he got shot- he just wont. You should know that better than anyone. Leorio isn't a 'good guy'. He has his bad moments, too- not everyone is free from sin. He has his demons, and I have mine. We're not all that different, he and I... but I do know one thing: He says random shit and lies about a lot of other shit, too- especially if he doesn't have control over his mind. I wouldn't expect anything he said when he woke up to be true whatsoever- so when he wakes up and doesn't remember a fucking thing, you can run away crying and realize I'm right."
Killua didn't say another word after that, he simply turned around and walked out the doors he came in from, leaving Kurapika in total silence.
But Kurapika didn't know what to do from that point on- thinking about what Killua had said made him reflect on what they'd done... and potentially what Leorio might have done to him when they first met...
He heavily sat down in a chair beside the hospital bed, feeling the weight of these new thoughts drape over him.
His eyes slowly passed over Leorio- who still looked the way Killua had described. He was smiling, content-like, but Kurapika was no longer thinking about their kiss and what Leorio had said. If it were true that he lied... well, if he was this way when drugged- it would certainly explain why he was allowed to live in such luxury without having to worry about being hurt or kidnapped... So maybe... maybe Killua wasn't lying at all.
But if he wasn't lying, then- then that would mean that... Leorio was...
Kurapika felt a weight drop on his chest. It had him leaning back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as if an unspoken truth had just been revealed. More tears streamed down his cheeks, and though his face was already red and tear-stained, it didn't much matter. Because if Leorio was lying about wanting to kiss him- maybe he'd done it because he thought he was someone else. Maybe, in his daze, it was his wife that he was thinking about... he'd never known if Leorio had actually had one- or if he had a girlfriend, and no one had confirmed or denied the existence of one... So maybe...
Or maybe not? Maybe he just... did what he wanted when he wanted it? That would make more sense, given the description Killua had given him, however brief it might have been. He sucked in his bottom lip, gnawing on it, and clenching the arms of the chair when he lowered his gaze back to Leorio.
His chest started to sting, and he hurriedly pushed himself to his feet when he recalled a particular part of Killua's explanation. He couldn't look at Leorio, not after remembering it.
He covered his face when he hurriedly exited the hospital room, and headed straight towards the doors he came in from. He passed Mito on the way out, who had stopped and questioned where he was going and if he was okay. He was too shocked and upset to answer her as he hurried out the doors.
He was grateful and not at all surprised to find that not a single soul lingered outside, but he didn't know where to head- or really what to do. So he collapsed in the dirt beside the hospital wing of the mansion, a hoarse sob leaving his lips. He reached into his memory, wanting to see if it were true, or recollect any foreign sensation.
Because if Killua wasn't lying, then Leorio not only took care of him that day, he must have also been inside him, too.