Mello stared at the Death Note as Light collapsed onto the couch beside Matt, burying his face into his hands. L slowly reached forward, grasping the notebook between two fingers. Instantly, his eyes widened and he stared at something hanging over Light's shoulder. Mello stepped forward, wanting to at least touch the Death Note so he could see the Shinigami. He was uncomfortable knowing that it was in the room and he didn't know where, but L instantly narrowed his eyes and placed the book in between his knees and chest.
"What has Light-kun done?"
Mello's eyebrows rose in surprise. The tone of L's voice was more inclined for Near than the older detective. Cold. Detached.
Like he was talking to a criminal.
Matt's eyes were wide and panicked. He stood slowly and moved around the room, keeping his eyes on Light warily until he finally ended up slightly behind Mello. Mello wanted to roll his eyes toward his best friend but he could almost understand the action. Though he was a little surprised to see that Matt had left his game on the couch beside the killer. Mello reached out a slow hand and snagged Near's pajama top, tugging him to stand behind Mello, next to Matt. Near moved willingly but he pulled out of Mello's hold and grasped the back of Mello's t-shirt.
"I woke up with memories of committing mass murder," Light finally said, his voice tired and resigned. Mello could see him swallow hard, even from across the room. The older teen finally lifted his head. He didn't look toward any of them, instead his eyes glazing over as he stared hazily at the far wall. "I was horrified. You – L, after you died I lost whatever control I had left. It didn't matter the crime, I made sure each and every one of them were killed."
Mello sucked in a deep breath, annoyed that Light seemed to be trying to push the blame for his actions off and make excuses, but a hard tug on his shirt had him keeping silent. For now.
He reached out behind him and grasped Near's free hand. He had a feeling he was going to need something to ground him during this conversation.
"Why does Light-kun have the notebook?" L demanded, apparently not caring about Light's little confession. Mello felt a rush of pride. Finally, his mentor was acting like the person he had always looked up to when he was at Wammy's.
"I woke up and remembered all of it," Light continued, still not answering L's question. "It was horrifying. I pretended to be ill…or maybe I actually was ill. I stayed home from class to try and understand what I was remembering. And then Misa called."
"Missa Amane called you? You did not mention this previously."
"Misa had her memories as well. She remembered everything. She remembered getting the notebook, giving it up, getting it back – and giving it up again. She remembered everything that happened between us. She asked me what I wanted her to do. I told her to wait until I figured out a plan."
"A plan? Light-kun was going to become Kira."
"No! I wasn't going to become Kira! I- no, L. But Misa wanted us to continue what we had started. I wanted to just ignore her but Misa got her Death Note months after I found the original-"
"Yes, we are aware of that. That is something Light-kun has been honest about."
"-and there was a possibility that she would still end up receiving it. Statistically, her stalker would attempt to attack her even if she did not end up walking down that street on that particular night. Which means that the Shinigami-"
"Please get to the point."
"-fine. I was trying to make you understand-"
"Did Light-kun have Misa Amane retrieve the Death Note?"
"Yes," Light sighed, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I noticed Mello following me the day I returned to school."
What.
"And I contacted Misa. The plan was that I would distract Mello which would give Misa plenty of time to recover the Death Note. Then we would meet that night for her to hand it over."
"Something went wrong."
"Mello went wrong."
"Excuse me?!" Mello snarled, his hand tightening around Near's. He barely noticed the younger boy tug at his shirt at the sudden pain. No way in hell he was going to be blamed for this as well.
"Mello forced me to come to the hotel. I had planned to meet with Misa and retrieve the Death Note, then destroy it. I didn't think you would be here."
L's eyebrows rose. "Why would I not be?"
"Because I didn't think you would believe a thirteen-year-old sociopath when he told you he was dreaming of another life!"
"I'm fourteen!"
"I do not believe that is the statement Mello should be arguing against," Near murmured softly from behind him. Mello heard Matt snort at the comment but he ignored both of the boys behind him. He was too furious with the fact that Light's argument consisted over Mello being the reason his 'plan' went wrong.
"So, Light-kun did not think I would be here. Mello proved that conclusion to be incorrect. I do not see why that would inhibit Light-kun's plot."
"It wasn't a plot, L! With everything you've been dreaming you know that Misa can be a bit…"
"Unstable?" Matt piped in helpfully.
Light didn't spare him a glance. "She became belligerent when I didn't meet her when I said I would. It seems that she had been doing some 'thinking'," his lips twisted mockingly on the word, "and had decided that I did not treat her as she should have been treated. And then being late to our meeting made her decide to get back at me by keeping the Death Note until I apologized properly."
"Light-kun does not like to apologize. In doing so, he has to admit his actions were inappropriate."
Light let out a deep sigh. "With you here, I couldn't allow Misa to run off with the notebook in her possession. I played along with her but she refused to turn the notebook over. Misa," Light snarled and his eyes flashed angrily. For the first time, Mello believed he actually saw the bit of Kira that was lingering inside the other boy. He had to admit, it was a bit terrifying. "Misa is not as unintelligent as she makes people think. She has shown on multiple occasions that she will do anything to obtain whatever it is she wants. At one point, what she wanted was Kira."
Mello's free hand clenched into a fist. How many times over the past few months had he been in an argument with Light about Misa Amane? How many times had Mello pointed out that Amane had been able to be the second Kira and stay undetected until she came into contact with Light? How many times had he said they needed to focus on the blond girl? And each and every time, Light had blocked his way and got the others to agree with him. And now, now Light was admitting the truth in what Mello had been saying the entire time.
Misa Amane, formally known as the second Kira, was now the original Kira.
"Why did Amane kill Hirokazu Ukita?"
Light flushed. "I attempted to convince Misa to give met the notebook. She did not appreciate my argument and her retaliation was Ukita's death. She was proving that she would be able to kill my father."
"And your teacher?"
"A reminder that she was waiting."
Mello shook his head in amazement. Light Yagami was outplayed by Misa Amane.
They were all outplayed by Misa Amane.
It was a depressing thought.
"Waiting for what?"
"For the new world."
"So Light-kun kept silent regarding Amane because of his involvement."
"I was not involved in any of those killings, L."
"You are the reason Amane had the Death Note in the first place."
Light's mouth dropped open and he huffed as he shook his head. "Misa struck out on her own. I did not intend for anyone to die."
"And yet, dozens were killed within the last twenty-four hours."
"I know!" Light growled, closing his eyes tightly. "I attempted to speak to Misa weeks ago but she only grew upset. I have not heard from her again. I thought that she had decided to move on. It wasn't until Takada's death that I realized she was biding her time. I began to look for her but was unable to find her until Mikami was killed. I met with her this morning."
"The people that were aware of the Death Note-"
"I know!" Light yelled, losing his composure and briskly getting to his feet. Mello instantly moved forward, ready to fight the other if needed, but Light took a few steps toward L and dropped to his knees. L blinked down at the auburn-haired man as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against L's legs. L's eyes grew wide and he attempted to move away but Light merely pushed in closer. "I know what happened. She killed my father, L."
Mello could see L swallow. "That does not explain how Misa Amane was aware of the people who-"
"I made a mistake," Light admitted. "After Mikami was killed, I was able to get in touch with her. I told her that it was important to destroy the Death Note because we weren't the only ones that remembered. She – she said that she could kill you. That we could move forward with our plan after you were dead. I- I argued with her. I grew defensive. She told me to make a decision. You or my father."
"Light-kun would have chosen his father."
Goddammit, L!
"I didn't give her an answer," Light admitted in pain. "We planned to meet today. She – she's been following me. Not only me," he hissed, turning his head just slightly so he could lock eyes with Mello. "She saw Mello meeting with Reye Penber and Niomi Misora. She followed them. They're dead. She never intended to spare anyone. She wanted us all dead. She wanted me to kill you to save myself. I agreed." Mello sucked in a deep breath. "She handed me the Death Note. And I killed her." Light's eyes closed once more. "It's over. Do whatever you need to do with me. Destroy the notebook. My father is dead. His death is my fault. All of their deaths are my fault."
Near's grip tightened on Mello's shirt. Matt was muttering something under his breath. Mello could only stare at Light and L. L, who was staring down at the other man as if he wasn't sure what to do or say. Light didn't move. Mello wasn't sure what to think. If Light had just given Mello the Death Note in the beginning…if he had told them about Misa when it became clear he couldn't control her in the way he was once able to do…if he had just admitted he was wrong, all of this could have been avoided.
Instead, he hid his own mistakes and let the entire situation get out of control.
He was right. He was to blame for his father's death. And the rest of the victims.
"So," Matt finally asked, making every eye in the room, well, all except Light's, turn toward him. "What do we do now?"