Oh my gosh, a new chapter! And look, I made a cover! Got a bit cut off when I was transferring it over, but I'm still proud. Done in the style of the cartoon, too, so WOO! (And yes, I made it myself, so I'm going to brag.)
Right, and time for my rant. It's pretty much a thing I have to do now, not that I think anyone pays much attention to it, but that's okay, because it's still fun to write.
Today: PKE meters.
Okay, that may have been a bad way to start out. So, a while ago, I was trying to accurately classify ghosts according to the class levels they should have when scanned with a PKE meter. So I was watching the cartoon, and in the very first episode, they face a ghost they claim is "right at the top of the scale", and a "full class ten".
So, you'd think that it's a pretty simple matter of okay, so it's on a scale of one to ten, with Slimer falling right in the middle as a class five, right? Not so much. Because then I dug out my copy of Tobin's (yes I own a copy-stop laughing!) and it was classifying Stay Puft as a class seven. In fact, all the highest ranked ghosts were class sevens. Which kind of conflicted with the whole one to ten scale. (And then, to make things worse, EGB at two separate times, fight what they refer to as "a class C ghost" and "a class thirteen ghost", and who the hell knows what was going on with that?)
That... kind of threw a wrench in my plans before I realized, "Hey! They were written by different people!" So, I'm going with the RGB one to ten scale, with the occasional super powerful off the scale primal god type ghost. (Besides, I don't care what they say, if it's only a scale to seven, there's no way Slimer's a class five.) In the end, I decided the one to ten scale goes up exponentially, which explains Slimer, and I figured the Hogwarts ghosts could be class twos: unable to do much besides talk. Class ones are then mostly ghosts that can't fully manifest, and Peeves seems about a class four. Just below Slimer.
Rant over.
Anyways, thanks for all the great reviews!
Chapter Four: In Which There is a Troll and Harry Loves Flying
Time passed.
Harry and Evie continued to attend classes only sporadically. Herbology was the only one they attended with any regularity. That, and Evie sat in on the seventh year Arithmancy classes.
"Not quite up to my speed, but at least it's not totally boring," Evie had said.
Hermione had at first pressed them on not going. And then Evie started teaching her runes and suddenly that didn't seem so important any more.
But this didn't mean Evie and Harry weren't busy. Sure, they weren't going to Hogwarts classes, but Harry could often be found on his computer (wasn't video messaging the best?) during class hours, as Ray or Egon (or occasionally Peter or Winston) gave a much more difficult lecture. Evie sometimes joined him, and other times was busy with her own college course work.
Hermione once asked Harry why he didn't attend any other classes. After all, she reasoned, he didn't hate focus casting nearly as much as Evie.
Harry had laughed before explaining.
"This isn't real focus casting. Not really. A good focus caster doesn't need words or motions, they just need to, as the name implies, focus. Training eventually allows them to push their magic through the focus of choice and form it into spells. What you learn here is some bizarre combination of focus (because of the wand), ritualistic (because of the movement), and verbal (because of the words) casting. It's ridiculous, not very powerful, and kind of an insult to real casting."
So, he continued to not attend classes and not use his wand, despite it being strapped to his forearm at nearly all times. After all, he knew some "real" focus casting, so in a pinch, he could still defend himself if the situation called for it. It just never really did.
There were a few students (mostly those in green) who tried to taunt Harry and Evie for their uniforms (which now read Spengler and Potter) or for their lack of proper wizarding decorum, or even because of Slimer (who had near taken up residence in the kitchens but could still be see out exploring frequently). This didn't work well, as Harry had heard worse insults all his life and was proud of who he was, and Evie was just perpetually oblivious when it came to other people's feelings.
They gave up after a while.
Harry's lectures were a curious thing. Half the time he got them, the lecturer was on a bust. Which led to some very fun situations. And a good portion being unexpectedly cut off when something nasty happened to the guys on the other side of the conversation.
He didn't usually worry, though. They always got out of it.
And then, Halloween came.
Halloween was a rather… interesting holiday when it came to the Ghostbusters. Something usually went horribly wrong, and they had to fix it. Plus, Harry's parents had been murdered on Halloween.
On the other hand, there was candy. So it kind of evened out.
As it turned out, this Halloween would not be much different.
"Hey, guys," Harry said, plopping down at the Ravenclaw table between Hermione and Evie, and breaking up a conversation he would no doubt have found boring. "What's up?"
He had been disappointed to discover that Hogwarts had no costumes, but there was a big Halloween feast, which was alright, if not as good. At least it had candy.
"I wasn't expecting you down for another half hour," Evie frowned. "I thought Uncle Ray was teaching you about the old Samhain traditions."
"He was, but there was an incident in a mechanical warehouse and his proton pack is currently trying to eat him." Harry glanced up the table, where one of the pumpkins was filled with chocolate. "Hey! Can you pass that over here, please?!"
"I hope you took notes, then," Evie sighed. "At least then you can figure out where he left off."
"You're not worried about him being eaten?" Hermione asked.
"Nah, he'll be fine," Harry assured, grabbing a handful of the chocolates as the pumpkin reached him. "I'm just surprised it's so tame. Halloween can get nasty."
"All Hallows Eve is the night the veil between the worlds of the living and dead is at it's weakest," Evie told Hermione, who scowled (as she'd already known that). "But it is only two thirty over there."
"Right," Harry agreed. "Plenty of time for it to all go to hell." He ladled himself a big scoop of pudding from a floating cauldron as it drifted by and proceeded to scoop a generous portion into his mouth.
Hermione looked sickened. "Aren't you going to eat anything even half decent?"
Harry blinked up at her in surprise. "What? No! It's Halloween!"
He glanced over to Evie. "Speaking of the world of the dead, have you seen Slimer? I don't see him dive bombing the Slytherins for their candy, so I assume he's not here."
"I knew you were the one to teach him to do that!" Hermione accused.
"And I still deny all knowledge of it," Harry shot back with a grin.
"Slimer's flying back to New York to celebrate Halloween over there," Evie explained. "I understand they've picked him out a costume-a sheet, with eye holes." Harry held back a snicker. "He should be picking up a book of mine, as well. He'll probably get back tomorrow afternoon."
"That's fast," Hermione said, raising her eyebrows.
"Faster than an owl," Evie agreed. "Ghosts can move quite rapidly."
"My dads keep meaning to test how fast he can go, but they keep getting sidetracked," Harry said with a grin. "But they'll get the numbers one of these days."
"Half the problem is determining how," Evie added. "From what I can find, a radar gun would be a little…"
"So, have you heard what the entertainment is supposed to be?" Harry asked, cutting off Evie's technical explanation. "They have something every year, according to the upper years."
"You asked?" Hermione questioned, surprised. Harry didn't socialize much. Or at all, really.
"No, I eavesdropped," Harry returned. He took another bite of pudding. "Have you tried this stuff? It's delicious."
Hermione looked slightly ill at the thought.
"By the way, I didn't see you in Transfiguration today," Harry continued. "Which was very sad. I go through all the trouble of showing up, only to find my favorite partner has gone AWOL. What's up with that?"
Hermione turned red. "I…"
"I found her in the girl's bathroom halfway through that period," Evie said. "She'd been crying after one of the Gryffindors insulted her in charms."
"That bastard-slash-bitch," Harry frowned. "What for?"
"I corrected him, when he was having trouble with one of the spells, and… he told me there was a reason I didn't have any friends," Hermione said softly, eyes lowering.
"Bastard, then," Harry determined. He glanced at Evie. "Which one?"
"The idiot redhead who tried to beat Slimer in an eating contest last week," Evie answered.
"Oh, him," Harry scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. "Well, we already knew he was an idiot, then. Anyone can see we're friends, even if we aren't always in class with you."
Hermione, eyes tearing up slightly, nearly jumped at him to wrap her arms around him.
Harry looked helplessly at Evie, who was focused on carving a new runestone. "I thought you would have already explained this to her in the bathroom?"
"I thought it was obvious," Evie said with a shrug. "I just spent most of my time explaining why she shouldn't put any stock in the opinion of a jealous, menial, moronic little twit."
Harry considered that for a moment. "Okay, yes, equally important. Next time remember that you should also heal the disease, not just tell it that it doesn't exist."
Evie blinked. "I… had not considered it from that angle."
" 'S okay, Spengs, I know you're not good with people." Harry patted Hermione on the back. "Seriously, Hermione, we like you. You're awesome. You're funny. Okay, maybe not exactly funny. But you're sensible. Sometimes you need someone sensible to knock you over the head and tell you when you're being stupid. Like, say, telling someone who insults a friend of yours that he made a serious mistake."
Harry paused a moment, suddenly scowling. "You sure Slimer's not gonna make it back before tomorrow?"
Evie shrugged. "Sorry, Harry."
Hermione giggled lightly as she pulled away from him. "Thanks, Harry. I… I needed that."
"Any time. I'm always happy for hugs. Unless your name is Slimer, and then you can go hug Papa Peter."
Evie hid a snort.
"Hey, we should have an adventure!" Harry declared. "That what we need. An adventure. I mean, it gets a little boring, just being in class. And I haven't been on a bust in two months! That's ridiculous."
"Well, I suppose we have been meaning to check out the third floor corridor," Evie mused.
"Why haven't we done that yet?" Harry asked. "It seems like we should have done that before now."
Evie shrugged. "We've been busy."
"Yeah, but with boring stuff," Harry protested. "We haven't been busy with anything interesting."
"On the contrary, I find working on new equations to help pinpoint the source of the PK residuals I've been picking up to be very interesting," Evie returned, raising an eyebrow. "I may have most of the background fuzz cleared out by the end of the week." (1)
Harry made a choking sound. "Math… No… Hermione, help!"
"Have you considered using anything you picked up in Arithmancy?" Hermione asked. "I know they have several refining equations they use for divining the future."
"Yes, but I don't have anything quite strong enough there," Evie answered. "I've mostly been using equations scientists use for picking up reflected light waves in space-"
"Cruel," Harry sighed dramatically. "You're both so cruel. It hurts. Right here." He pointed at his chest.
"We should be able to finally track down the school poltergeist soon," Evie offered.
"Good luck with that," Hermione advised. "Apparently, Peeves heard you were here from the other ghosts and is actively avoiding you."
"Aw…" Harry groaned. "We can't bust him if he doesn't give us a reason!"
"I'm pretty sure half the students in the school (if not all of them) would be happy to give you a reason," Hermione assured.
"Okay, it's settled, then!" Harry declared, clapping his hands. "At the end of the week, we go on a poltergeist bust! We can come up with a plan of attack by then, provided nothing more interesting" (here he cast a slightly disgusted look at Evie) "distracts us."
That was when the doors of the Great Hall burst open.
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"Troll!"
The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor (Harry had forgotten his name. Quibble? Squirrel? Something like that.) came running down the hall at top speed, shouting excitedly. "Troll, in the dungeons!"
He came to a stop just past the middle of the hall.
"Thought you might like to know," he finished weakly, before his eyes rolled up in the back of his head, and he collapsed onto the floor.
There was a moment of silence.
And then it was broken. But… not in the way one would expect.
"WOO HOO!"
Every eye turned to the Ravenclaw table, where Harry Potter punched a fist into the air. "Troll in the dungeons! Best Halloween ever!"
"Really?" Hermione asked.
"Nah, there was a thing with a demon once," Harry admitted as he stood up and started pulling his robes off. "But my boredom has been alleviated! Come on, Evie!"
Tossing his robes over his shoulder, Harry caught Evie's arm and dragged her out of the hall. Hermione followed not even a second later.
Dumbledore, who had been about to protest, found his words dying on his lips. What kind of first year wanted to actively search out and stop a troll?
Clearly, the fact that he was even wondering pointed to the truth that he had lost touch with his students a very long time ago.
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"So, we go in and hit it full stream!" Harry told Evie, finishing his brilliant plan as the latter finished pulling off her robes. Like him, anticipating some sort of Halloween disaster, she had worn her uniform underneath.
"That's a terrible idea," she informed him without hesitation.
"What makes you say that?" Harry asked. "It's pretty par for the course, isn't it?"
"First off, we don't know what kind of troll it is," Evie began. "It could be an intelligent one. If so, we should first try to communicate. Secondly, all trolls have one of two types of reactions when hit with a proton stream. They either turn to stone, or get bigger and meaner." (2)
Harry opened his mouth. And then closed it again. And then opened it again. "So… we don't know which?"
"Haven't a clue, until we see it," Evie admitted.
"Well, damn," Harry frowned.
"Are you seriously still going to go find it?" Hermione asked, looking between the two of them. "Knowing that?"
"Well, of course we are," Harry said, as though it were obvious. "We're Ghostbusters. That's what we do."
"Press the big red button to see what happens," Evie explained, lip twitching slightly.
"Very true, unfortunately," Harry agreed. "Seriously, never put a big red button on anything Papa Peter's ever around. Ever." He paused. "Or Papa Ray, for that matter." Another pause. "Or Papa Egon." A final pause. "Really, Papa Winston's the only one with any sense."
"Okay, but we do need some sort of plan," Hermione reminded him.
She missed the "we" bit, but Harry didn't. It made him grin. "Sure. Hey, Evie, how's your Trollish?"
"Not as good as I'd like," Evie admitted. "Yours?"
"I only know a few phrases," Harry sighed. "But we can give it a shot, right?"
"You speak Trollish?" Hermione demanded.
"Only a little," Harry said quickly. "It's actually a rather complex language, though most of magical Britain doesn't seem to think so, for whatever reason." (3)
"I cannot believe you told me the other day that French was a useless language!" Hermione hissed. "And you speak Trollish!"
"And I stand by that statement," Harry agreed.
"That French is more useless than Trollish?!"
"Well, French is never going to save me from being eaten by a troll," Harry explained.
Hermione made a motion like she was strangling the air in front of her.
"I'm surprised you picked up Trollish," Evie commented. "Languages aren't really your area, are they?"
"Nah, but I picked some up from a friend of my dads' in Chicago," Harry said with a shrug. "Nice guy. Joined up with a circus not long after we met. He's getting to be a pretty famous acrobat."
"A… No, I'm not going to ask," Hermione decided.
"Probably a good idea," Harry agreed. He glanced over to Evie. "We getting anything on the meter?"
"I've got something on the meter," Evie agreed. "Readings consistent with a troll. Ready to go?"
"Yes!" Harry cheered. He pulled out his thrower and powered up his pack.
"Harry…" Evie said warningly.
"Yes, yes, don't shoot him," Harry parroted back. "Because he might get bigger and meaner. Now that we've established that, can we go?"
Evie rolled her eyes, but moved the PKE meter around as she tried to get a fix in a certain direction. It took a minute to pick up, but she pointed.
"That way. I think it's made its way out of the dungeons."
"Ooh…" Harry grinned, running off, Hermione and Evie sticking close behind him.
Evie led them through the halls of the first floor, and it didn't take long before the three could smell something foul on the air.
"Urgh," Hermione groaned, wrinkling her nose. "What is that?"
"Troll," Harry almost sang. "It's troll stench! We're getting close!"
"Shh!" Evie hissed. Her head was tilted as she suddenly grabbed both of them and yanked them back into an alcove in the wall.
"Ev-!"
Harry's cried was cut off when Evie slapped a hand over his mouth. "Shh!" she hissed again.
Harry grew still when he heard it. A low moan, and a deep thudding.
Footsteps.
The three peeked from the alcove to see down the hall, passing in another direction, a massive, monstrous, grotesque figure.
"Mountain Troll," Harry and Evie breathed at the same time.
"And?" Hermione whispered to the two of them.
"Well, the throwers will turn him to stone, for sure," Evie replied quietly. "But we should still try talking to him first."
"Aw…" Harry sighed. "Okay. Who wants to go first?"
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Heading off the troll was not as difficult as one might think. While Harry's cartography skills were still terrible, Evie had succeeded (after a week of hard work) in tapping into the wards to create a three dimensional map.
She said, at some point, she wanted to do more, but the map, as it was, would work for now.
So they were able to head back down the hall, down another passage, and make it back to where the troll was going to stand in front of him.
This was enough to make the troll pause. It wasn't used to people facing off against it.
It was also enough to bring the trio of students up short. Because there was a fucking big troll in the middle of the hall. (4)
There was a moment where no one moved, and they all just stared at each other.
"Say something, Evie," Harry advised.
Evie cleared her throat and let loose a series of guttural consonants.
"What did you say?" Hermione asked.
"We come in peace…" Evie said slowly. "I think…"
The troll hesitated longer, clearly not used to knowing anyone who could speak the language. It then replied, in the same harsh tongue.
"Okay, that was bad, right?" Harry asked worriedly.
"Yes, I think he just told us he would roast our entrails," Evie said, voice shaking slightly. "I don't suppose you want to give it a shot?"
"Uh…" Harry pointed behind the troll and shouted out a phrase. Whatever it was, the troll turned to look.
"Light him up!" Harry declared, firing his thrower. Evie was only a second behind him.
Within moments, the particle beams had turned the furious looking troll to stone.
"Whew," Harry panted, switching off the beam. "What a rush! Anyone know if there's a giant out there looking for a garden statue?"
Hermione, who looked on the verge of collapse, smacked the back of his head.
"Ow!"
"I think someone else can clear this up, now that the danger's gone," Evie declared, scanning the immobilized troll with her PKE meter. "Yes, this shouldn't wear down for another two hundred years, at least. Shattering should take care of that. But we'll let the so called experts decided what to do with a suspended troll."
"Harry," Hermione said weakly, "exactly what did you say to it?"
"Well…" Harry began, scratching the back of his head, "I said I only knew a few phrases, right? Like, 'don't go that way', or 'where's the toilet?', or 'I shall gift you with death'."
"Yes…?" Hermione pressed.
"So I pointed and shouted, 'The party's down there!' and hoped for the best."
There was a long pause.
"...You said, 'The party's down there,'," Hermione repeated dully.
"Yes," Harry agreed.
"And you hoped for the best," Hermione continued.
"Well, I wasn't going to hope for the worst," Harry argued.
"It's a rather eclectic collection of phrases," Evie mused.
"I had a rather eclectic teacher," Harry pointed out. "He lived in Chicago. And now he's an acrobat."
That was the moment the teachers came barrelling around the corner. Harry recognized McGonagall, Flitwick, Snape, and the Squirrel dude. At the sight of the troll, Squirrel sat down, hard.
"Mister Potter, Miss Spengler, Miss Granger," McGonagall said sharply. "Just what do you think you were doing?!"
"We were busting a troll," Harry said with a grin. He dug into his pouch, finally coming up with a pad of paper and a pen. "All other questions can be directed to Evie."
The teachers turned to Evie, who stood tall and clasped her hands behind her back.
"You troll has been exposed to an excessive amount of proton energy, thereby inducing a state of suspended animation, allowing for easy keeping or disposal," she recited. "The state should stay constant for approximately two hundred years, which is plenty of time to decide what you wish to do with it. Of course, we would be happy to dispose of it for you… for an additional fee."
"You might have been killed!" McGonagall scolded. "Just what gave you the impression you could take down a troll?!"
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time," Harry muttered, still jotting things down, thinking for a moment, and then jotting down more.
"I assure you, Professor, Harry and I are well equipped to take down a single troll," Evie said firmly. "You needn't worry on that front."
Harry finished his writing and tore the top piece of paper from the pad. He handed it to McGonagall. "Our invoice."
That threw her. "Your what?"
"Invoice. For the troll. We do this for a living, you know," Harry mock sighed, shaking his head. "Besides, it's in the contract we signed to come to this school. Dumbledore's aware of it. Any other questions? No? We'll be going back to our tower, then. I, for one, always need a shower after a nasty bust."
The three walked past the speechless teachers, on their way to Ravenclaw tower.
"It wasn't that nasty," Hermione whispered to Harry.
"Oh, I know," he agreed. "But I still want a shower."
"You did remember to put in the pristine condition surcharge?" Evie asked. "For the lack of property damage?" (5)
"Course I did," Harry grumbled. "Like I'd forget a charge."
Hermione placed a hand to her head. "You completely gouged them, didn't you?"
"Well, duh," Harry said with a grin. "Ilu, I love my job."
HP/RGB
Reactions following the troll incident were… mixed. Half the school thought they were insane. The other half were more in awe than anything else.
Harry basked in the attention. It was like being back home, the constant looks that were a mix of admiration, incredulation, and condemnation.
Of course, it did start to get wearing after a time. One plus when it came to New York was that it was a simple matter to disappear into the crowds for a little bit.
It was not a luxury he could enjoy at Hogwarts.
But he was good at brushing things off. Harry had a thick skin-it was impossible to be a Ghostbuster and not develop one.
It was impossible to live in New York and not develop one.
Still, life went on. And Harry soon found there was one other class, not Herbology, that he would attend with regularity.
Flying.
Now, Harry had never flown on a broom before. He had, however, learned to fly the Ecto-2, and was certainly the best at it. Ray still hadn't taken any lessons, to Peter's exasperation, and Harry could manage a much smoother landing. He planned to get his pilot's license as soon as he was old enough.
But there was no requirement on a training age… It was a bit of a loophole, but none of the Ghostbusters felt bad about exploiting it. After all, if it was either let an eight-year-old fly the gyrocopter, or prepare for a potentially fiery crash… well, that wasn't much of a choice, was it?
So, when Harry discovered that they actually gave lessons on flying to first years, he jumped at the chance.
Though, that was really an understatement. He was beyond excited. He was obsessed. He was…
Happy to rant on about it to whomever he could corner at the time.
At the moment, it was a rather unimpressed looking Winston, who had been trying to give him a lesson on philosophy. It had been sidetracked about three minutes in.
That had been an hour ago.
"...And I mean, it's flying!" Harry enthused. "I'm going to have to get a broomstick! Evie's going to help me modify it so I can fly it with no hands and use a proton pack, but that'll probably take practice, but can you just imagine how useful that would be, and what if we-?"
Winston forced a laugh. "Well, sport, maybe you should focus on actually learning to fly one, first."
"I'm going to be doing that later today!" Harry announced with a fevered glee, not caring that he'd said as much thirty-seven times now.
"So you've said," Winston said dryly. "Repeatedly."
"I'm so excited!" Harry almost squealed.
"Yes, I can see-" Winston was cut off by the sound of an explosion. He looked behind him, and Harry could hear shouting in the background.
"Urbat!- Ray, get the fire extinguisher!"
Winston seized the moment to get away. "Sorry, Harry, I have to go!"
The feed cut off, leaving Harry looking at a blank screen. He sighed, but closed the computer and tucked it back in his school bag.
Then he grinned and looked at his watch. Three hours until they were flying!
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"You know, it's odd," Hermione commented as they headed down to the field where they'd be learning. "I could have sworn we were supposed to have this lesson earlier. I mean, the Gryffindors and Slytherins had theirs over a month and a half ago." (6)
Evie and Harry exchanged slightly guilty glances.
"Who knows why they do these things?" Harry asked. "At least we get to do this now?"
Unfortunately for him, Hermione had started to pick up on such things. "Harry."
Harry immediately pointed towards his cousin. "It's Evie's fault!"
"It was not," Evie shot back.
"You and your playing with the wards-!"
"Which would have been fine, had you not jumped me-."
"Wait, wait," Hermione said, raising a hand. "Exactly what happened?"
Harry and Evie exchanged another glance.
"All you need to know," Harry said at length, "is that there was a little accident, and someone is a little trigger happy."
"And that broom sheds were not designed to withstand protonic reversal," Evie agreed. "I understand the instructor was quite put out with us."
"I don't know why, she got all new brooms, didn't she?" Harry asked. "If anything, she should be thanking us."
Hermione buried her face in her hands. "Oh my god why do I know you." (7)
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"Hold your right hand over your broom, and say up."
Harry was practically vibrating with excitement. Next to him, Evie remained mostly unreactive. Next to her, Hermione seemed more apprehensive than anything else, and only half of that was because she was about to get on a broom.
The other half was because Harry was about to get on a broom. And that was a perfectly terrifying thought.
At the instructor's words, Harry held a hand over the broom next to him. "Up," he proclaimed excitedly.
The broom quickly leapt into his hand.
Next to him, Evie's had done the same. She held the broom more awkwardly, clearly more uncomfortable.
Hermione had to try three times before the broom reacted.
"Come on, Hermione, command it!" Harry tried excitedly, attempting to help. "You just have to-"
"Harry, please stop talking now," she hissed, her hand clenched around the handle tightly.
Evie said nothing, holding a runestone to her head that allowed her to see the magic flowing around the broom. "Hm… Fascinating."
As soon as they were given leave to do so, Harry swung a leg around the broom and adjusted his grip. "Evie! Stop staring and get on the broom!"
"Sorry, Harry, this is my first time getting a good look at one," Evie said absently, still focused on the magic no one else could see. "It really is incredible-"
"Spengs! Get on the damn broom!"
Evie sighed, but stowed the stone and did her best to copy Harry's stance. Next to her, Hermione held on for dear life… and they hadn't even gotten off the ground yet.
The white haired lady whose name Harry had already forgotten walked up and down the gathered students, correcting grips and offering advice.
"Turn your hand a little more, that will give you better control… No, lean in a bit more, there… Stop gripping so tightly, girl, you'll cut off circulation!"
This last one was directed at Hermione, who did her best to loosen her hold… a little.
"Omigosh We'regonnaflynow!" Harry hissed to Evie, who was paying no attention, and had snuck her runestone out again, thinking he wasn't looking at her. "Spengs!"
"Sorry," she said, embarrassed at being caught as she quickly shoved the stone back in her pocket.
"On the count of three, I will blow my whistle," the instructor said loudly, at the end of the lines of students. "When I blow my whistle, you will kick off the ground, hover for a count of ten, and then touch back down! You will not fly off, or I will be giving detentions! Now, one! Two! Three!"
At the sound of the whistle, Harry pushed off the ground. The broom was slightly uncomfortable, but it supported his weight, and he couldn't keep a stupid grin from coming over his face.
Unlike him, Evie seemed almost bored as she hovered in the air. She casually reached over to steady Hermione, who was staring wide-eyed at the ground.
At the end of the count of ten, Harry lowered back to the ground, feeling very disappointed, like he'd lost something.
"I will now be dividing you into groups," the instructor called. "Then you will be, in those groups, making a slow circle of the field, staying near the ground."
Another grin spread across Harry's face. More flying!
Nearby, Hermione let out a whimper.
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By the end of the lesson, Harry was flying loops around all of the other students, even those with previous experience.
He loved flying.
Hermione had managed, with Evie's help, to stop panicking. She'd never enjoy flying the way Harry did, but she was able to shove down her fear and keep up with the rest of the class.
Evie could outpace most of them (though obviously not Harry, who was acting like a frigging maniac), but didn't have the inclination to. She just didn't care. Flying wasn't her thing.
"You're really improving," Evie told Hermione calmly as she led her on another circle of the pitch.
"Thanks, but it's all Harry's fault," the girl sighed. She nodded over to where a cackling Harry spun into a twisting, suicidal dive at the ground, not pulling up until the last minute. "Sort of an, if he can do that, I can do this."
"Yes, it's impressive," Evie agreed.
"Is he always like this when he's flying?" Hermione asked.
"I wouldn't know. I don't think he gets quite so… crazed when he's flying the Ecto-2, but he's never flown on a broom before."
Hermione's head snapped to look at her friend. "What?"
"It's true," Evie said, shrugging. "It's illegal in America to fly on a broom before you're twelve. It's dangerous if you're not trained, and there have been accidents with many young children. They figure that when you're twelve, you're old enough to not run a broom into a tree to see what will happen." (8)
"I…" Hermione trailed off, lost for words. "I suppose I can see why they did that. It seems more intelligent. You know, Ronald Weasley was telling people this story about how he nearly hit a hang glider on his brother's broom. And Draco Malfoy kept telling everyone stories where he'd barely escape people in helicopters."
"That's bull," Evie assured. She then paused for a moment. "Well… it's probably bull. They'd have been seriously fined by the British Ministry, if it were true."
"I don't even want to know," Hermione muttered darkly. She looked at Harry again. "He's seriously never been on a broom before? Really?"
"Never once," Evie agreed. "He's always loved flying, though. And you should see him on roller coasters."
"God, I hate roller coasters," Hermione moaned, looking slightly green.
"I'm not the biggest fan myself," Evie admitted. "There was a… a thing. With a roller coaster. And a ghost. Ghosts should not mix with roller coasters." (9)
"I definitely don't want to know," Hermione decided. "Can we land now?"
"Another circle," Evie determined, glancing at her watch. "Faster, this time. Then we'll land, but we'll continue practicing once a week."
Hermione groaned again.
"You'll thank me one day," Evie said, the corner of her lip curling up. "Probably."
"I hate you so much," Hermione moaned. "So much."
HP/RGB
"That. Was. AWESOME!"
Harry was still on a bit of a flying high as they headed back to the castle. He couldn't keep the grin off of his face, with not even the chilly air holding him down.
"I mean, I've flown before," he continued. "And it was fun. Cool. Neat. But flying the Ecto-2 is nothing like that! Nothing's like that! It's just… it's so…"
He struggled to find a word for a moment.
"Liberating?" Evie suggested dryly.
"YES!" Harry agreed, pointing at her. "Exactly! Did you think so too?"
"Not particularly," Evie frowned. "I didn't much feel anything either way."
"I hated it," Hermione offered.
"But how can you hate it?" Harry complained. "It's awesome! Just you in the sky, with nothing holding you back, and the acceleration-"
"Yes, you certainly did seem to enjoy throwing yourself at the ground," Hermione agreed wryly. "It nearly gave me a heartattack."
"Hey, I've got to tell the guys we need to get some brooms for the firehouse!" Harry said suddenly, eyes lighting up in excitement. "Can you just imagine going after ghosts on brooms?"
Evie tilted her head. "I suppose the maneuverability would be an improvement over Ecto-2. But could they handle the recoil of the throwers?"
"Hey, you could probably fix that, even if they can't," Harry said, waving a dismissive hand.
"We'd have to test it," Evie decided. "That could be fun."
"Yes!" Harry agreed excitedly. "Testing! On brooms! Let's do this!"
"And we're not allowed to get brooms until we're twelve," Evie reminded him.
"I'll find a way around it," Harry said, completely determined. "I don't care what it takes, I am getting a broom and I am going to fight ghosts on it."
"You knew he was going to react like this," Hermione accused Evie. "You knew."
"I suspected," Evie agreed, eyes glinting in amusement.
"Oh my god, you utter… And you still want me to join your ghostbusting team! That's why you forced me to keep flying!"
"And we still have standing lessons once a week," Evie added.
"We can test the recoil then!" Harry added.
Hermione threw her hands in the air. "Agh, you both-!" She cut herself off, stalking ahead of them, up towards the castle.
"We'll need to keep working on her," Evie noted.
"Later," Harry said, turning towards his cousin. "Do you think we can mount a proton cannon on a broom?"
"Of course," Evie said, as though it were a stupid question. "The real thing we need to figure out is, can we do it without sacrificing maneuverability or balance?"
HP/RGB
"Evie, you are aware that first years aren't allowed their own brooms?" Hermione asked dryly.
"I am," Evie agreed.
The three friends had taken up residence in an old empty classroom they'd claimed for themselves. It was a good sized room, and it was perfect for Evie's experiments. Which meant Hermione and Harry often ended up hanging out in the room, keeping her company.
Such as right now. Harry was currently sprawled on the floor, staring upwards at nothing in particular. Hermione was half focused on a charms paper and half focused on Evie, who was pouring over a broomstick she'd laid out on the desk with a runestone in hand, occasionally jotting things down on the blackboard.
Said blackboard was currently filled to the brim with a combination of runes, diagrams, and complex equations Hermione couldn't make heads or tails of.
"Then why, for god's sake, do you have a broomstick?"
To think that two months ago, she'd never taken the lord's name in vain, even if her family wasn't devote. But Evie and Harry were a special type of irritating.
"I'm trying to figure out how it works," Evie said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Yes, I can see that." Hermione took a deep, calming breath. "Where did you get the broomstick?"
"I… borrowed it," Evie said slowly, not looking up from her work.
"She nicked it from the broom shed," Harry piped up.
"I have every intention of returning it," Evie cut in quickly, still not looking up. She squinted at a particularly dense cluster of spell work. "Hm…"
"You know, probably," Harry added with a grin.
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Oh, don't worry," Harry said quickly. "We're not doing any experimenting until the brooms my dads are sending us get here. We don't want to blow up any more. Evie's just… information gathering?"
"That would be an accurate description, yes," Evie agreed.
"But you're forgetting, first years can't have brooms," Hermione reminded.
"We're not forgetting it, we're ignoring it," Harry corrected, propping himself up on his elbows to better face Hermione. "Besides, if anyone kicks up a fuss about it, we'll just say they don't belong to us."
"Don't belong to-?" Hermione cut herself off. "Okay, who will they belong to, then?"
"Slimer," Harry said with a grin. "There's nothing in the rules that says ghosts can't have broomsticks." (10)
Hermione's eye twitched. She began shoving her things in her bag. "That's it. I'll be in the library. I've had quite enough of your unique brand of insanity for one day."
"It's only ten in the morning," Harry frowned.
"I know!" Hermione hissed.
"Okay," Harry decided with a shrug. "Will we see you at lunch? Dinner?"
Hermione made a noise of frustration somewhere between the hiss of a cat and a full out growl. Not replying, she stalked from the room.
"We'll see you later, then!" Harry called after her. He looked over to Evie. "We'll see her later."
"Okay," Evie answered absently. She prodded at the broomstick with a frown. "I wonder if…"
That was as far as she got before the magic she was looking at backlashed violently, blowing her across the room, and sending the broom up in flames.
"Whoa," Harry gaped. "Nice one."
"I… did not mean to do that," Evie said slowly, picking herself up. Her face was sooted and her glasses had been knocked askew.
"I know," Harry agreed, before groaning. "Aw, man, now we owe them another broom! Did you at least get some idea of how to mount a proton cannon?"
"I have a few ideas," Evie allowed. She frowned at the burning mess. "Do you think we can blame this one on the poltergeist?"
Harry scratched his neck. "Well, we can certainly try."
A/N:
(1) It's like filtering out a... no, I've got no metaphors. Evie's basically trying to find... um... the sound of one instrument in an orchestra! (I knew I could come up with something!) She's using equations to filter out the other instruments and zero in on the one she wants to listen for. This is something real scientists do. (Well, not with instruments. But with other things.)
(2) According to the RGB episode "Troll Bridge". There will be a lot of references to that. There is also a troll they met during this episode who, at the end, went to live in Chicago. He liked parties. The Ghostbusters never actually get to test their weapons on a troll... but they fake it pretty well.
(3) Egon speaks fluent Trollish. Because he's fucking Egon. (Which explains so much.)
(4) Admit it. You'd freeze up too.
(5) If they don't have this surcharge, they totally should. Not that they'd, you know, get to tack it on very often.
(6) So... this is basically because I completely forgot about flying lessons until I'd already finished writing Halloween. This is me covering my ass and coming up with a quick excuse as to why they're having late lessons. (It's all Harry's fault.)
(7) It's a real mystery.
(8) Evie would try this. Egon did try this. Of course, he was over the age of twelve at the time. He still considers it a fascinating experiment in the conservation of energy... and also an interesting look at parental units when faced with a seriously injured child.
(9) It was called the "Rollerghoster". Seriously. I'm not making this up.
(10) There's a lot of things that students are forbidden to have that ghosts aren't. It wouldn't surprise me to find them correcting that oversight before too long...
So, that's all the notes this week! Please review with questions and anything you liked!
Next Time: There is a duel, and Harry does Thanksgiving!