So... As it turns out, writer's block sucks. (Like you didn't all already know that.) But I'm back, with a brand new chapter! And also, I must say I'm disappointed that I got one (count 'em, one) guess on who our mysterious visitor was. Granted, it was wrong and didn't take into account how the hell he got on the upper floors without walking in the door, but it was at least a guess! Come on, people, it's not hard!
I should just not tell you anything. But I'm nice. So here you are. You're welcome.
I also want to say that I'm now the proud owner of a copy of Ghostbusters: The Board Game. (Not the one from the eighties, the more recent one.) It's one of the most complicated things I've ever played: a scenario based co-op game for 1-4 players. It is also totally awesome. Kind of reminds me of Dungeons and Dragons, only you can get slimed. Which only inhances its inate awesomeness.
Chapter Seven: In Which the Ghostbusters Deal With Visitors of Many Types
"What the hell are you doing here?"
The man offered an easy smile. "Oh, come on, Janine, don't be like that. We just need a little translation."
"Yeah, and I still remember what happened the last time you needed a 'little translation'," Janine shot back.
"That was a one-off," the man claimed quickly.
"Janine?" Monica asked. "Exactly what's going on here?"
"Yes, aren't you going to introduce us?" the man asked, winking at Monica. "Tell me, have you ever been tested for ES-"
"Stop talking now," Janine snapped. "She's married."
"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying," the man said with a shrug. "They aren't your versions of Ortiz and Alexander, are they? Because that would just be weird."
"I don't even know who those are," Janine growled.
"Too bad. Well, Ortiz, at least. Alexander can always go rot."
Janine pinched the bridge of her nose. "For your information, these are Wendell and Monica Granger. They're here visiting from England."
"Ooh. Tea and crumpets, then?" the man asked cheerfully. "I could go for something relaxing. No?"
"Wendell? Monica?" Janine sighed. "This is Dr. Peter Venkman. He's from another dimension. And god only knows what he's doing here." (1)
"I told you," Venkman said with a shrug. "We need a quick translation. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes of your time. Well, your Egon's time, at least."
"And why, pray tell, can't your Egon do it?" Janine asked.
"He's in Bolivia, consulting on a case. Apparently a seventh street has appeared at this crossroads that's only supposed to have six. And something's up with the communications."
"It's the Siete Calles," called a voice as another man came sliding down the pole. "According to the history books, there was originally seven streets, until one was closed down by an influential man. Now there are only six, but they still call it by the old name."
"Thank you, Raymond," Venkman agreed. "I'm sure Janine found that absolutely fascinating."
"I oughta charge you a consulting fee," Janine grumbled as she reached for the radio to call the guys. "Add a surcharge for having to put up with you."
Venkman clutched at his heart. "You wound me, Janine. I'm hurt. Really. And after this connection we share-"
"I'm taken," she snarled, flipping the switch of the radio. "Central to Ghostbusters. Come in Ghostbusters."
"You hear that?" Venkman asked Stantz. "She's taken."
"Would it be a literature professor named Roger?" Stantz asked her. (2)
"No, not that it would be any of your business if it were!" Janine jabbed at the radio again. "Central to Ghostbusters!"
The door to the Firehouse opened.
"We're back!" Harry called, several bags in hand. Next to him, Hermione carried two trays of drinks, and next to her, Evie was already sucking at a large soda. "Ho-ly crap. There's not something you see everyday."
"I'm lost," Hermione admitted.
"Raymond," Venkman said, "there are kids in the firehouse. Why are there kids in the firehouse?"
"Because I live here," Harry sighed, rolling his eyes as he approached Janine's desk and dropped the bags of food on it. "Slimer! Lunch!"
"Ooh bowy!"
Slimer shot through the wall, making a beeline for the food. Harry held up a bag and put up a hand in a "stop" motion, ignoring the surprised shouts of Venkman and Stantz behind him.
"Now, Slimer, you know the rules, right?" Harry asked. "You get this, and then you don't eat anyone else's food?"
Slimer nodded eagerly. "Uh-huh! Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh!"
"Good boy," Harry said, tossing him the bag. Slimer caught it and immediately dug in.
Stantz's eyes were wide. "You actually… how did you…"
"Aw, Slimer's not so bad," Harry assured with a grin. "It's just when he borrows your pillow that you have to look out."
The two alternate Ghostbusters exchanged a glance.
"Okay, we got food," Harry said cheerfully. "Who wants some? Not you two, we didn't know you were coming."
"That's okay. We just ate," Venkman said, looking slightly ill as he stared at Slimer.
"That'd better be diet, Evie," Janine warned as Harry handed her her own food and drink.
"It's mostly diet," Evie offered. "And caffeine-free." (3)
Janine frowned, but didn't say anything.
"So, what exactly brings a pair of Ghostbusters from an alternate universe up to our neck of the woods?" Harry asked cheerfully.
Statz held up a leather bound book. "We really need a translation. Our Egon is in Bolivia, and we can't reach him, and we can't read his notes. ...Again."
Evie glanced up. "What sort of notes?"
"Malku, does yours do that too?" Harry complained.
"Do what?" Hermione asked.
"Papa Egon gets in the habit of taking notes that skip over big chunks of whatever he's thinking at the time, so no one else can understand them," Harry explained to her. "Then he writes half of what he does in shorthand and parts in other languages, and it's really, really a pain to read."
"It's not so bad," Evie shrugged. "You should see my father's notes sometime. He does something similar." She paused. "So does Great Uncle Cyrus. And Grandfather, for that matter."
"So do you," Harry pointed out. "You write half your work in fucking runes."
"You mean you can read this?" Stantz asked, holding the book up, at the same time Venkman muttered, "Papa Egon?"
"Well, I haven't seen it yet," Evie said with another shrug. She took another swallow of soda. "But probably."
"In that case, do you mind-"
"Oh, no," Janine broke in. "She's staying right here and if you need anything translated, you can bring it here for her to look at."
"You don't trust us?" Venkman asked, giving her a puppy dog look.
"God, no."
"Actually, I was just going to ask her to read this," Stantz said quickly, opening the book to a marked page and handing it over.
Evie took it in one hand, the other still on her soda, and scanned the page. She frowned at a couple moments, re-read a part, flipped to the next page, and muttered to herself.
"Anything?" Stantz asked hopefully.
"Yes," Evie agreed. She flipped another page. "You guys are in serious trouble. Exactly why did you need this translated?"
Venkman and Stantz exchanged a glance.
"Well, there have been a couple odd occurrences," Stantz began. "A few robberies. We contacted Egon, who mentioned he'd studied something similar before, and then we got cut off by whatever it is down there. But he did say it was extraordinarily bad, so we figured we should get this translated as soon as possible."
"That's a good call," Evie agreed. "From what I can tell, your notes here detail signs of a potential apocalypse. If those signs are accurate, I'd suggest that someone-probably a group of someones, actually-is trying to summon Cthulhu."
Stantz blinked. "Oh. Well. That's not good."
"How not good, Raymond?" Venkman asked. "Keeping in mind I have no idea what that is."
"Very not good," Stantz said.
"What your Dr. Stantz is trying to say is the Cthulhu is one of the old ones," Evie explained, flipping another page. "It sunk beneath the waves millennia ago, and if it rises, it'll make Gozer seem like a petulant child."
"Very not good," Venkman repeated. "Got it."
"If it rises, we're screwed," Stantz added.
"Yeah, probably," Harry agreed. "Cthulhu isn't the type to play around. And there's a good chance whoever's planning on summoning him has summoned other things up to protect them. You'll want to look into securing your copy of the Necronomicon."
"You have a copy of the Necronomicon?" Stantz asked in surprise.
"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "But we know who does." (4)
"I'm surprised you know so much on the subject," Evie said, glancing at Harry. "It's not your usual modus operandi."
"Yeah, well, Ghostbusters versus Cthulhu? Best bedtime story ever," Harry replied with a shrug. "I did some research. Well, I say research-"
"That's right!" Stantz remembered. "Your Peter said that they'd faced Cthulhu before." He paused. "Any tips?"
Evie and Harry exchanged a glance.
"Well," Harry said slowly, "you're going to want a really big generator…"
HP/RGB
When the Ecto-1, looking like it had seen better days, crept into the garage, there was still a small crowd gathered around Janine's desk. Harry, Evie, and the two alternate Ghostbusters had ended up swapping "war stories" to Janine's exasperation and the Granger's slightly worried shock.
As soon as it pulled to a stop, however, Janine had already stood and was making her way to the car.
"Janine?" Egon asked as the four slightly weary looking men emerged. "Is something wr-"
That was about as far as he got before Janine had marched up to him, grabbed the lapels of his jumpsuit, and yanked him down into a searing kiss.
"You know, I think I'm depressed we never get greeted like that," Peter commented with a grin as he pulled a trap from the car.
"Come on, Peter, there was that time with Irena," Ray reminded. "At least you got that." (5)
Peter blinked. "Oh. Right. Well, it should happen more often."
"Not with Janine, unless you want Egon biting your head off, man," Winston pointed out. He glanced up at the desk, finally catching sight of Stantz and Venkman, both of whom appeared to be in shock. "Hold up. Looks like we got trouble."
Janine finally pulled back from Egon and shot a scathing glare at Venkman. "Taken!" she snapped, before grabbing a bemused looking Egon and dragging him down the steps to the basement.
"Did I just see what I think I saw?" Stantz asked Venkman.
"I don't know. My brain's still trying to process it."
"Hi, Dads!" Harry said cheerfully, waving. "Welcome back!"
"Dads?" Venkman repeated incredulously.
"Hey, Squirt," Peter greeted. "What's going on here?" He shot a glance at the other Ghostbusters. "Because I don't care what you say, you're not borrowing Egon again."
"That really wasn't our fault," Stantz muttered.
"Come on, you guys wrecked our firehouse," Venkman accused. "We have a few favors to call in."
"That wasn't us, it was the primal god chasing us," Peter argued. "And, I think borrowing Egon for a few days is more than enough payment… especially after what happened."
"What exactly happened?" Hermione whispered to Harry.
"Not sure of all the details," Harry whispered back. "I think they ended up in hell. Someone died. Papa Egon doesn't really talk about it." (6)
"We just needed a translation," Stantz broke in, holding up the book again. "And your… um…"
"That's Evie," Harry offered, gesturing to the girl in question, who was again fiddling with a PKE meter.
"Evie, then, was able to read it just fine," Stanz finished.
"Great," Peter said. "Then get the hell out of our firehouse."
HP/RGB
"Just what exactly was that?" Monica finally asked, after the two had left.
"They're from another dimension," Harry explained with a shrug.
"I hate that guy," Peter grumbled. "I mean, sometimes I just want to-"
"Papa Peter and the other Peter don't really get along," Harry added. "Not unless there's a ghost, or something."
"To be fair, though, it was sort of inadvertently our fault their firehouse got wrecked," Ray pointed out. "I mean, we didn't choose to end up there, and there was a primal god after us-"
"And Janine pulled all our fat out of the fryer," Winston added. (7)
"Is that… normal?" Wendell asked slowly.
"Eh," Harry shrugged. "Not normal, per say, but we've seen weirder."
"Indeed."
Everyone turned to see Egon coming out of the basement, an empty trap in his hands. "But it's not safe to mess about too much with alternate universes, so we try to stay out of each other's way as much as possible."
"It's a lot easier for us," Peter muttered. "We're not the ones with a dimensional doorway in our basement."
"I'd still love to build one," Ray sighed. "Just think-"
"I don't care what you say, we're not building a dimensional doorway!" Peter declared.
"It really is surprising seeing Uncle Peter being the sensible one," Evie murmured to Harry.
"I know," Harry whispered back. "Like we're in some sort of flip-" He abruptly broke off as he realized what he was saying. "Er… mirror world?"
"More accurate than your original word choice," Evie agreed.
"And won't give me nightmares," Harry added. "I may have liked the 'Ghostbusters versus Cthulhu' story, but that one…"
Evie made a mental note. As she didn't live at the firehouse, she didn't have nearly as much blackmail on Harry as those he lived with. And she could always use a willing test subject.
HP/RGB
"You know, I've been curious," Wendell commented one day. He, Peter, and Egon were lounging in the small living room area, he and Peter not-watching television and Egon reading a book entitled "Ovanliga Svampar". (8)
"About what?" Peter asked absently.
"The movie," Wendell said. "Your movie. Well, both of them, I suppose."
"What about them?" Peter asked, turning to look at him at the suggestion of a much more interesting topic (focused on him).
"Well, I guess I was just wondering how accurate they were," Wendell said slowly.
"Ah…" Peter began, leaning back. "I guess there were parts that were pretty accurate. I mean, not everything was right. Obviously, we don't look much like the guys who played us. But we did get kicked out of Columbia and start up a ghostbusting business."
"But the whole Gozer thing?" Wendell asked.
"Happened," Peter agreed. "Though I don't think the marshmallow explosion was nearly that big. There was a bit of overflow when we trapped Stay Puft, though. Oh, and we did manage to trap him. You know, after we'd crossed the streams and stuff, he didn't just blow up. That was a pain."
"Huh," Wendell mused. He glanced over at Egon. "Is it true that you tried to drill a hole in your head?"
Egon scowled over the edge of his book as Peter snickered.
"Yeah, he totally did," Peter said.
"It's called trepanation, and there is a history of successful usage dating back to before six thousand BC," Egon snapped.
"Yes, for medical purposes, Spengs," Peter argued. "Not as some twisted manner of increasing brain function."
"It worked for Peter Halvorson," Egon muttered darkly, sinking deeper into his seat. (9)
"You're joking," Wendell said incredulously.
"I wish I was joking," Peter corrected.
"What about the second movie?" Wendell asked.
"Well, we did battle Vigo the Carpathian," Peter agreed. "And there was a brief time we were shut down. It was only a few months. And it had nothing to do with Gozer. There were some legal entanglements we were getting nailed by courtesy of a nasty gooper that called himself 'The Ghostmaster'. It took some time to get that figured out, but when we discovered a river of slime under the streets, the authorities were persuaded to move the case along pretty quickly." (10)
"So you were shut down for a few months?" Wendell asked. "What about Harry?"
"Apparently people frown upon a kid being dragged along on dangerous busts, and we weren't about to get into how we picked him up in the first place, so they cut him from the movie," Peter explained with a shrug. "I think he's still a bit pissed at that, to be honest."
"No, what happened to him when you shut down?" Wendell clarified.
"Well, we were all still living here," Peter began, "so he stayed here as well. We all got other jobs to support him… and ourselves, of course. Winston drove an ice cream truck. The kids loved him. So did Slimer, for that matter. Like in the movie, I did end up hosting a late night program. I still have a few recordings of the show around here, but I wouldn't recommend them. Ray bought a book shop. He still owns it, actually, just manages it from afar now. It's pretty popular amongst the occult fans for that reason. And Egon did join a research team back at the university studying… I forget. What were you studying?"
"Something I'm quite sure is far beyond your feeble comprehension," Egon deadpanned, still not pleased about the last exchange.
"That sounds about right," Peter agreed easily. "And Janine played stay at home Mom and worked with Louis on the case files. Louis was still hanging around at that point."
"And they were…?" Wendell trailed off.
"Um… it's not really something we've talked about," Peter admitted slowly. "They might have been together. I think they were. I think Egon's in denial about the whole thing. There was definitely something going on, though. It ended not too long before he moved."
Egon made a sound from where he was sitting that fell somewhere between a grunt and a snort.
Wendell grinned. "What about the toy thing?"
"The toy thing…?" Peter asked, trying to remember as Egon groaned. He abruptly grinned. "Oh! The toy thing. Yes, Egon, tell him about the toy thing."
"Mother was furious about that," Egon mumbled.
"So you did have toys growing up?" Wendell clarified.
"Yes," Egon said firmly. "Granted, they were mostly educational toys, but I had toys." He paused. "Although I did straighten a slinky once."
"But why would you-?"
"I was trying to build a small engine and had run out of wiring," Egon explained. "It seemed like a reasonable substitution at the time."
Wendell stared.
"Of course, now I know better," Egon added, pursing his lips. "Stainless steel is not a good conductor of electricity, nor is it a good idea to use uninsulated wiring in any mechanical design. In my defense, I was four at the time."
"You were-"
Peter gently kicked the shocked man. "Don't even ask. Really. They start building young in that family. Remind me to tell you sometime about the time Egon got turned into a baby and somehow managed to use tinker toys to build a ladder bridge out the window."
"That never happened," Egon snapped, cheeks flushing furiously as he returned to his book.
"He's still in denial," Peter added unnecessarily. (11)
"So where was Harry during all of this?" Wendell asked.
"Firehouse, mostly," Peter said with a shrug. "He did come with us to meet Oscar the first time, and he helped drive the Statue of Liberty-"
"You actually drove the Statue of Liberty?!"
"Oh, yeah, Libby was great," Peter grinned.
"Hold on a minute," Wendell said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I need a moment to process this."
"That's the usual reaction," Peter agreed.
Wendell took a moment to gather himself before asking the next question. "So, what ever happened to Dana Barrett?"
"I think I hear Janine calling me," Peter decided suddenly, jumping up and heading for the stairs.
Wendell looked towards Egon, who finally sighed and lowered his book.
"Peter doesn't like to dwell on it, as they parted on frustrating terms. Dana returned to the Philharmonic not long after the events at the museum, and actively avoids Peter to the best of her abilities. She still contacts the rest of us occasionally, though. I understand Oscar started school not long ago, and Janine meets up with her for coffee approximately once a month."
Wendell blinked. He'd always personally thought that Dana and Peter would end up together. But maybe that was just the romanticizing of the movies. "Really?"
"I know," Egon agreed, turning back to his book. "I can't believe she still has anything to do with us either."
Wendell thought for a moment before shooting Egon a sly sidelong glance.
"So, the mood slime… did you and Ray really sleep with it?"
Egon choked on air. "You know, I think I'd better go check on Peter." He hightailed it out of the room.
"Hm…" Wendell mused, looking after him. "I wonder if Janine knows…" (12)
HP/RGB
"Evie!"
Harry came tearing into the lab, an expression on his face that usually spelled trouble. He was breathing heavily.
Evie glanced up from the partially built proton cannon she was working on. "What's wrong?"
"Janine's mad at Papa Egon again," Harry explained breathlessly. "And I just had a brilliant idea."
"Will this brilliant idea most likely get us in serious trouble?" Evie asked slowly.
"No! No, nothing like that," Harry said, eyes lit up with excitement. "Just an idea about… well… have you gotten Papa Egon a Christmas present yet?"
"...A Cortinarius orellanus," Evie answered.
"...A what?"
"It's a deadly fungus native to Northern Europe," Evie explained. "Why?"
"I don't want to know," Harry decided. "I don't have a present for him yet, and I came up with a really good one, and I need your help to do it. For translations."
"Translations?" Evie frowned, baffled.
"Yeah. Do you have the book?"
HP/RGB
It was the day before Yule that another person came knocking on the door of the firehouse, a person those who lived there knew all too well.
"Hello? Is there anyone in?"
And, because everyone was in (apart from Winston and the elder Grangers, who had headed out on a touristy trip around the city), Janine (at her desk) saw her immediately.
"Mrs. Spengler!"
The blonde woman smiled cheerfully at the redhead. "Janine, dear! It's great to see you! How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been great," Janine said, standing up as she headed to meet the older woman. "How are you? The trip wasn't bad, I hope?"
"It was fine," Mrs. Spengler said, waving a hand dismissively. "Absolutely horrid, of course, but it's over now, and that's fine at least. Are the boys out?"
"Winston is, with a couple of the guests staying with us," Janine informed her. "One moment." She turned towards the opening in the ceiling, where the pole was installed. "EGON! YOUR MOTHER IS HERE!"
There was the sound of pounding footsteps overhead before Egon's face poked over the hole. "Mom?" he had time to ask, before he had to pull back to allow a pair of fast moving bodies to slid down the pole. A third followed not far behind.
"Grandma!" Harry shouted happily, running to meet the woman with a hug. Evie was just behind him, albite moving a bit more awkwardly.
"Harry! Evanna!" Mrs. Spengler wrapped her arms around the two. "How have you been? Not getting up to too much trouble over in England, I hope?"
"We fought a troll!" Harry informed her perkily.
"My Grandson, the Ghostbuster," she sighed happily, mussing his hair. "Evanna, I have no doubt you were involved?"
"It was a very big troll," Evie allowed.
"We charged for it," Harry added with a grin.
"Never much liked those stuffy British magicals," Mrs. Spengler smiled as they drew away. "How are your classes going?"
"We usually don't go," Harry admitted. "Papa Peter included it in the contract when we first signed on to go to Hogwarts. We can't get in trouble, either."
"Which is useful, because we have Slimer with us," Evie added.
Mrs. Spengler looked delighted. "Oh, so you did bring the spud. I'm sure that's caused a few interesting reactions."
"It's pretty great, yeah," Harry agreed.
"Now, Evanna, how are your Miskatonic studies going?" Mrs. Spengler questioned. "Still doing well?"
"Top of the class," Evie said. "Granted, as a long distance student, I am the only one in the class, but I have been reliably informed I am still wrecking the curve for my fellow daemonology majors."
"That's my girl," Mrs. Spengler said proudly, patting her on the head, causing Evie to make an odd face.
Behind them, Hermione cleared her throat.
Harry jerked. "Oh, right! Grandma, this is a close friend of ours from school, Hermione Granger. She's top of the class in every class Evie isn't going to. No offense, Hermione."
Hermione sighed, though she'd long since accepted she was never going to be able to match up to Evie in terms of raw intelligence. "None taken."
"Hermione, this is our Grandma."
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Spengler," Hermione said, offering a hand.
"You too, Hermione," Mrs. Spengler agreed, briefly shaking her hand. "Now, where did my son get off to? He's looking too thin. Is he skipping meals again?"
"In the lab?" Janine asked dryly. "Almost constantly. Sleep, too."
"My son, the doctor," Mrs. Spengler sighed. "Let me hang my coat somewhere, and then the two of us can cook something up for those boys. And you can tell me about all the other necessary things my son is skipping out on."
It was funny how quickly a wicked smile appeared on Janine's face. "Alright, Mrs. Spengler. There are some hooks over here…"
HP/RGB
Because of the very real danger of ghosts breaking into the firehouse (something that had happened more than once before and probably would more than once in the future), the entire building was hooked up to a CCTV system. The system also scanned for ectoplasm, possession, and a variety of other things.
But that wasn't important at the moment, Harry knew. What was important was the the camera had sound, and that he knew the computers in the lab that could hook up to them and display the live feed.
What was also important was Harry was about ninety percent sure that Egon was gearing up to tell his mother about him and Janine.
Now, there were a few places in the firehouse that were, for rather obvious reasons, not hooked up to the camera system. The bathroom, for one, and Janine and Egon's bedroom for another. They still had ectoplasmic sensors and the like, but no actual cameras.
The kitchen was not one of those.
Which made Harry very, very, happy.
He'd recruited Hermione and Janine, and Evie had been in the lab when the three had invaded it, so the end result was four people pouring over the computer, the volume cranked to maximum, and all of them waiting with baited breath for what would no doubt be one of the funniest conversations ever.
Also, Janine was kind of hopeful Egon's mother would tear him a new one for not telling her any of this. Which he totally deserved.
Harry shushed the desperately trying not to giggle others (except for Evie, who was as stoic as always) as the black and white Egon approached his mother.
"Mom," he said slowly, clearly unsure how to proceed. "I have… an announcement.
"Oh boy," Mrs. Spengler sighed, turning from the cookie dough she was mixing. "Nothing good ever comes with that. What did you do now?"
"I have…" Egon seemed to struggle to find the words. "I have entered a relationship."
"You're dating?" Mrs. Spengler demanded. "How long? Does Janine know?"
Harry had to cover his mouth to smother his snickers.
"Four months now, and yes, Janine is well aware-" Egon began.
"Oh, this is awful!" Mrs. Spenger sighed. "To think I was trying to encourage her earlier… I feel terrible. Did she take it alright?"
Egon took a moment to reflect on how Janine had acted when they'd first gotten together. "She seemed pleased-"
"Pleased?! Oh, you're no help at all! I'll have to talk to her." Mrs. Spengler held a hand to her head. "Well, that at least explains where your bed went to. I couldn't find it with the other boys'. Where are you staying now?"
Egon looked baffled. "Here, of course. Where else would I go?"
Now it was Mrs. Spengler's turn to look confused. "What?"
"I'm staying in the basement room with Janine," Egon said slowly.
There was a long pause.
"You're dating Janine, then?" Mrs. Spengler clarified.
"Well, there aren't a lot of dates involved," Egon frowned. "But we spend a lot of time together and we are in a relationship."
Mrs. Spengler smiled. "Well, it's about time! Why in heaven's name didn't you say something before?"
"It never came up," Egon said honestly.
Mrs. Spengler turned back to her cookie dough, muttering something about hopelessly clueless sons as a hopelessly giggling Harry managed to turn off the computer.
"I love Mrs. Spengler," Janine laughed.
"Your grandmother is awesome," Hermione agreed.
"Told you," Harry snickered.
Evie just shook her head at the three of them and returned to her work. Though she may have been smiling. A bit.
HP/RGB
The first night of Yule came.
As night fell, Ray led everyone through a short ceremony, where they left an offering of wine on a small altar Ray had set up not far from the pine tree they'd gotten for both this and Christmas. The small ritual concluded with everyone partaking in wassail Ray had prepared earlier (a non alcoholic version, much to Peter's disappointment), and sitting around chatting. (13)
Hermione had been surprised to feel the magic in the air as they'd done it.
"So, that's Yule?" she asked Harry afterwards, as they sat around being warmed by the hot apple drink. "It seems surprisingly low key."
"Oh, that's only the first night," Harry said dismissively, waving a hand.
"Really?" Hermione asked, surprised. Though she'd never studied Yule before.
"Yes, it's a series of twelve nights," Harry agreed. "Some people only celebrate the first, but we try and do something for all of them. It starts on or around the solstice, usually."
"Wow," Hermione commented, wrapping her head around that. "It's… a powerful ceremony."
"Yeah," Harry agreed. "It's like that every night."
"That's where the Twelve Days of Christmas come from, then?" Hermione asked.
"Probably," Harry frowned. "I'm not actually sure. Evie might know."
They glanced over, where Evie was sitting alone, a surprisingly contemplative expression on her face.
"Is she okay?" Hermione whispered.
"It's the first Yule celebration she's ever been at," Harry murmured back. "I'm sure she's fine, just thinking about it. I did a lot of that my first time, too."
"So do you celebrate all the Pagan holidays?" Hermione questioned.
"Most of them," Harry allowed. "It seems a good idea in this line of work to avoid pissing off as many potential gods as possible. Plus, I mean, you felt that."
"Yes," Hermione agreed, thinking again of the magic that had hung heavy in the air, washing around all of them. "Yes, I did."
HP/RGB
As it happened, the fifth day of Yule fell on Christmas Eve.
That night, not only did the group go out "wassailing", but they also set out milk and cookies on the alter. When Hermione looked at Harry in surprise, he just shrugged. (14)
"It's an odd blend of traditions," he said. "Besides, no matter what we set out, it will be gone in the morning."
"Because Santa will visit?" Hermione asked weakly.
"No, because Slimer will eat it all," Harry answered, as though it were obvious.
In hindsight, it really was.
HP/RGB
Christmas with the Ghostbusters also came with one more tradition that was equal parts fun and hilarious.
No one was quite sure how it had gotten started, but the truth of the matter was that no one could be trusted around the presents. It was human nature to be curious, and every Ghostbuster had a history of trying… unusual methods to discover just what was in the wrapped bags and boxes under the tree. Peter had broken a gift shaking it one year, and Ray had tried to unwrap and rewrap several items. (Harry had also tried this method, much less successfully.) Egon even had an X-Ray machine in the lab he'd dug out for the express purpose of figuring out just what was in the little box from Janine with his name on it.
This had presented a bit of a problem.
Because of their curiosity, there came an odd little game at Christmas, where everyone attempted to hide their presents from everyone else. Then, on Christmas Eve, everyone took the opportunity to sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and put their gifts under the tree. The thing was, if you went late enough, you might get a chance to look at what everyone else had gotten you. Only you didn't want to be caught sneaking around by anyone else. And everyone else knew this as well, turning the whole thing into a massive and complicated game that went just slightly beyond the realm of ridiculous.
But that was also what made it so fun.
It also, they had discovered early on, made it harder for Harry to wake up early, and, more importantly, wake everyone else up early to open presents. Not that it ended up making that large of a difference, with everyone so sleep deprived.
The Grangers, Hermione included, decided not to participate in exchange for a night of actual sleep. Evie did participate… though Harry realized later that with her sleeping on the fold out sofa in the same room as the tree made both delivery and reconnaissance remarkably easy.
Next year, he was totally dosing her with a sleeping potion or something.
For his part, he ended up slipping down into the room a little past midnight, only to find no one else had visited yet. That was disappointing… but the fact that he'd still be getting presents tomorrow made it worth it.
Or later that morning. Whatever.
HP/RGB
"CHRISTMAS!"
Peter let out a yelp as two small knees impacted his stomach painfully. He managed to crack his eyes to see Harry bouncing on him excitedly.
"Christmas-Christmas-Christmas-get-up!" Harry sang happily before rolling off of Peter and moving for the next bed. A second later, Peter heard a grunt of pain, followed by a groan from Winston.
"Say, Harry, why don't you go wake Egon and Janine?" Ray suggested blearily.
"Okay!" Harry agreed cheerfully, running from the room.
The three remaining men let out a sigh of relief and no one moved from their prone positions.
"So, what time is it?" Peter asked.
There was the sound of rustling as Ray checked his alarm clock. "...6:24."
"Oh, that's not too bad," Peter decided, still not moving. "We've seen worse. Haven't we, Winston?"
"Pete, it is taking all my will power not to smash your face in right now," Winston informed him.
"But it's Christmas," Peter reminded. "You can't do that on Christmas. Spirit of the holidays and all that."
Winston mumbled something distinctly unfriendly into his pillow.
"How long do you suppose we have before Harry gets back?" Ray wondered.
"Not long enough," Peter groaned. "One of us is going to have to go make the coffee. Who wants to go make coffee?"
There was a long silence.
"Fine," Ray sighed, pulling himself out of bed. "Lazy bums."
Peter listened to the sound of his footsteps crossing the floor and the squeaking of the door opening. And then:
"Harry? That didn't take long."
"Papa Egon installed a defense system," Harry admitted. "Do you have any idea how to break down a titanium door?"
HP/RGB
Eventually, everyone was awoken.
Hermione and Evie had been easy to wake, and then Hermione was sent to get her parents. Egon and Janine were finally woken up when a jealous and fuming Peter stalked down to their door and began pounding furiously on it, refusing to let up until they'd answered.
After all, if he was going to have to suffer from being up this early, he was damn well going to make sure everyone else was, too.
So it was, well before seven o'clock, everyone had gathered in the den for, as Harry had put it, "The most important part of the entire holiday!"
Mrs. Spengler, well used to Harry's early rising, had shown up around then as well (she was staying at a hotel about ten minutes away), arms laden with gifts.
And then everyone dug in.
Harry was most excited by Mrs. Spengler's gift of a summer of karate lessons ("It's run by the brother of the man who runs my dojo! It's supposed to be very good!"). Somehow, he wasn't surprised to find Evie already had black belt. (Mostly due to her grandmother's insisting. And because she'd lived much closer, she'd been dragged along to the dojo until she'd just started going on her own, which turned out to be much less of a hassle and much more interesting.) (15)
Evie had gotten a new frog from Egon. She immediately named the bright green tree frog Charles and declared he would be returning to Hogwarts with her. Harry was quite certain he didn't want to know how she knew instantly it was a boy. Though her extensive collection (apparently currently being looked after by a herpetologist friend of the family who was rather impressed with it) may have had something to do with it.
Hermione had gotten several books (her friends knew her so well!), but none had captured her attention as easily as the book from Ray, "Coopted Paganism". When she'd first opened it, she'd looked over at him in surprise. He'd just winked in response, as though he'd known exactly what would get her attention. She was soon several pages in. (16)
Egon had at first seemed most enthralled with the fungus sample Evie had procured, until he'd opened up the joint gift from Harry and Evie. The jacket on the book read "The Incredible World of Mold", which made him frown, both because he knew Evie knew he already owned that book and because he could have sworn it was larger than the thin one in his hands. Then he opened it to the title page and almost choked on air: "The Potter-Spengler Guide to Dating Janine Melnitz".
Unable to really help himself, he turned to the first page.
"Section 1: Love
So you've noticed Janine acts oddly around you. Congratulations. She's in love with you. It's stunning that it's taken you so long to realize it…" (17)
The book did not get any less condescending from there, but the sad thing was, it was actually very informative and would probably help him a lot.
He had very mixed feelings on that front.
But he tucked it away with his other gifts and resolved to hide it somewhere in the lab where Janine wouldn't find it, and where he could easily access it.
Slimer had gotten everyone shiny things. The Grangers were very amused when they unwrapped their very shiny quarters. Slimer was a bit like a magpie in that sense.
By the end of the unwrapping, balls of paper had ended up strewn haphazardly about the room, and most of the gathered group were wearing at least one bow. Harry had stuck three of the stick-on bows on his head, which didn't do much for his already wild hair.
Most of the day was spent playing board games and lounging about the firehouse, and they ordered takeout from one of the few places open on Christmas for lunch. For dinner, Ray, Mrs. Spengler, and (to everyone's consternation) Janine worked together to produce a heavy table of food that was enjoyed by all. The night finished with another Yule ceremony before they retired for the night.
Personally, Harry thought it was the best Christmas yet.
TA DAH! So, they celebrate the holidays and everyone has fun. Also, meet Charles, Evie's pet tree frog. Tell me you don't secretly kind of want one. I know I do.
AN:
(1) That's right, folks, it's IDW Peter Venkman! Stuff's about to go down! (Also, Ortiz and Alexander refer to Mel Ortiz, an FBI agent sort of drafted to be a member of the Ghostbusters and Ron Alexander who's a total asshat and deserves all condemnation you want to lay upon him.) He's upstairs because the dimensional doorway in their basement lets out in the bedroom of the RGB folk. (How that works, we have no idea.)
(2) Roger Baugh: English professor and IDW Janine's boyfriend. Not only is he a dead ringer for XGB Egon, his name happens to have three syllables, starting with R, G, and B. No way anyone's convincing me that was a coincidence.
(3) Evie + Sugar = (censored)
(4) RGB episode "The Collect Call of Cthulhu". The Necronomicon ended up with a Miskatonic professor. (That's right, guys, Miskatonic is RGB cannon!)
(5) Irena is a werewolf from the old RGB comics, and seemed to be in an on/off relationship with Peter. I've kept that in here.
(6) IDW Ghostbusters International. Totally recommend it.
(7) RGB episode "Janine Melnitz, Ghostbuster", and "Ghostbusters: Get Real".
(8) The title is Swedish and roughly translates as "Unusual Fungus".
(9) He's not kidding. This is a thing. Trepanning is a medical practice used today (and in the past, though they didn't always know what they were doing) to reduce bleeding in the brain. Non-medically, it's been theorized it would increase blood flow to the brain and actually raise the IQ sightly. Dan Schoening, the artist of the IDW comics and major Ghostbusters fan, theorizes this is why Egon would try to drill a hole in his head. I agree. Peter Halvorson actually did it, and swears by it, but has also been arrested for doing it to others (though he had their permission, it's not considered a needed medical procedure). So... you can draw your own conclusions here.
(10) The Ghostmaster appeared in the episodes "Short Stuff" and "Revenge of the Ghostmaster". He seems a villain clever enough to pull it off. So let's just dump this all on him.
(11) Denial is a wonderful thing.
(12) Neither Egon nor Ray have ever clarified exactly what experiments they performed with the mood slime. Janine has never asked. I don't want to know... but I will say this: Peter thinks they did, and Winston thinks they didn't.
(13) I don't know a lot about Yule traditions, but from what I did find, this doesn't seem to be too out of line. I elected not to go into detail for fear of screwing it up.
(14) One site I found described the traditions one couple followed every year, and the days of Yule were celebrated from the 20th to the 31st of December. The fifth night of Yule, on the 24th, Christmas Eve, they set out milk and cookies on the alter, which I thought was a perfect blend of traditions... even if they all know it's not going to last the night.
(15) Mrs. Spengler does study karate, as stated in "Ghostworld". She is just that awesome.
(16) "Coopted Paganism" is a book listed in the IDW verse. I found it a perfect gift for a book lover just being introduced to the Pagan religion.
(17) Funny story: I've actually written a large portion of this guide. I'll probably post an incomplete version at some point as a joke. This is not the last you'll see of the PSGDJM.
Okay, lots of notes this time. But it's done! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review.
Next time: Harry gets one last gift and makes a dangerous friendship.